99. Hepatocellular Adenoma/Malibu Hop Hogan & Agent Karen Gold Esquire (feat. Matt Roth & Lauren Freeman)

JockDocPodcast.com

hey kids you’re about to listen to

comedy podcasts that means that no this

is medical advice if you need medical

advice or medical care please contact

your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring

dr london smith from everyone here at

the jdp we’d like to wish you a happy

sinkhole demayo may all your sinkholes

be filled to the brim with mayonnaise

yes introducing your host dr

london sinkhole hello and welcome to the

jock doc podcast where we discuss

fitness and health

and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host dr london sinkhole.com

i’d like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we’ve received some feedback

about the excessive amount of technical

medical terms that i’ve been using such

as

seminiferous tubule dysgenesis

and cinco de mayo so i will try to

temper my terminology

to a simpler one in the future here to

hell with that is our producer cameron

hey dr london i’m kind of um

i’m surprised you’re talking to me like

i thought like everything’s okay you’re

we’re just moving past it that’s cool

with me

we’re just we’re just doing the show so

i’m not sure

could you could you be a little specific

on what i did wrong

sure okay yesterday morning i woke up

excited why was i excited dr london

do you want to know why yes i looked out

my window the sun was shining

the dogs were barking and the cats

meowing do you want to know why dr

london

yes do you want to know why i was so

excited on this morning okay

uh because it’s a sunny day to my car

and i

got in my car and i said cameron this is

going to be a great day you want to know

why dr london

i i feel like you’re really leading up

to it’s going to be good and then i

drove

to the studio but i had to stop at a

stoplight first dr

london so i started the stop light and i

waited i saw a man on the side of the

street and i waved at him

then i kept going i had to stop at

another stoplight i noticed that the

taco bell sign was out where it just

says taco

then i kept going and i got to the

studio you want to know why dr london

are all the parts of the story that

you’ve told so far are those going to be

helpful for this

because yesterday was producer

appreciation day

oh and i

there was no gift in my bed there was no

gift in my car

there was no gift on my front doorstep

there was no gift

i thought maybe the guy on the side of

the road was gonna have something maybe

he would

like hired him in some capacity he

didn’t he didn’t do anything

and then i get to the studio and what do

i have to do i have to pay

money just to park my car

yeah and that the the toll booth that we

installed

i guess is counterproductive in that

sense i

so look i i know you got onto me last

year

and you said you know last year you said

next year you better not blow it on this

holiday

yeah and because you know because you

know for other holidays i do

leave gifts in people’s beds i do leave

gifts in people’s cars

i do hire strangers to surprise

the recipients okay well last year you

just gave me bandages

yeah well and that’s in part because you

were bleeding i feel like

so that was on the producer appreciation

because the next day

here’s how i remember it you were

bleeding okay i gave you bandages

the next day you were so angry that i

didn’t get you a producer related gift

for producer appreciation day yeah you

just told me

next year i understand that bandages you

always say

bandages are the best thing a person can

own because of how versatile they are

and i understand that but surely i can

just get my own bandages

i ju at the time you were it was all

you were bleeding so it just seemed like

a thing but now i’m in charge of that i

you know i admittedly i’m in charge of

my own body so this year

i admit i totally blanked on it um

you know and you’ve been on to me you’ve

had signs posted and it just

this this week trying to be busy that

you know i’ve got a lot of cinco de mayo

plans and it’s really been

kind of occupying my mind so it’s yeah i

apologize that that is on me

you’re right oh you’re just going you’re

gonna go out and get plastered with the

other celebrity doctors

i’m not just dr oz doing tequila shots

and

off of each other’s belly buttons yeah

he

dr ken may we all kind of hang out uh

zach braff he’ll stop by yeah

uh hugh laurie um anyone who’s had a

sister so just like anyone who’s played

a doctor

neil patrick harris is in there yeah

yeah

uh so it’s um yeah we get a group

together every cinco de mayo and that’s

tradition i don’t see

you’re gonna get hammered what does this

have to do with anything

i’m just i’m just saying that where is

my gift that’s been on my mind this is

so much talk

you’re right there’s no action here you

know what you can give me something

you can give me a gift right now in this

podcast by telling me

your deepest darkest secret

and we can cut it out dj dillon we can

cut this out nope

if you’re not brave enough to share it

on the show no i

so i don’t see how i can it won’t be my

okay so one time on a

fateful cinco de mayo oh wow how

convenient

yeah well it’s just we used to have

more doctor celebrities and

there there was i’ll just i’ll just try

to keep it short here um

there was a pact made after one of them

met with an untimely end and we’ve

been haunted since with all these

warnings written on walls and stuff

saying

like we know what you did right that’s

crazy that your deepest darkest secret

involved the exact same subject that you

were talking about before so you didn’t

have to think of a new one

well i mean yeah it’s not good

it’s kind of one of these reasons why we

have these gatherings that’s spooky

that’s as spooky as your ghost it’s

uncanny almost

yeah exactly so that’s our producer

cameron also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

i keep having the wildest dream about

you and me about me and you

[Applause]

[Music]

you look at me

i could be your underwater

[Music]

i need you to signal the lifeguard i

need your help

i need your help

[Music]

i’m not just waiting

to say hello i’m signaling the lifeguard

and then i wake up

[Music]

and later cameron tells it that we can

expect some special guests

that’s right dr london yeah so dr

lon don is that your name this is one of

those things where i think we

say it so often that it’s starting to

sound

like [ __ ] up yeah london

london it’s london london

lunden yeah it sounds weird to me too

i’ve heard it a lot but people you know

it’s

it’s not like i don’t know sometimes how

do you say it

learmdin okay yeah

got it all right doctor alert that’s

right dr larmdon yeah

all right um so before we move on i

would like to address a bit of listener

feedback

i found this note uh spray painted on

the back wall of the hospital when i

left today

the note reads quote she stole midge’s

tupperware 25 years ago

we haven’t talked to her since end quote

so first of all i would like to thank

this listener for their insightful

question here on the jock talk podcast

to answer your question and

so i guess you’re you’re complaining

about someone stealing your tupperware

and i i guess it’s a hospital work

didn’t

didn’t we have listener feedback where

was someone

stealing someone’s tupperware before or

maybe like a dish

what i’m what i’m thinking is that is

this is this possibly sort of a revenge

kidnapping

okay i thought it was gonna be a

recurring problem but you’re thinking

someone stole the other person’s

tupperware like

in i think maybe midge was

the victim the first time

and then now sort of out of retaliation

is

stealing the tupperware you know it’s

frustrating it’s one of these things

where i’ve never

dealt with this issue so much but it

seems to be

really you know prevalent

in the graffiti artist community and

yeah in our fan base yeah um

so what are we gonna do about this so i

guess the idea is like

we’re gonna get rid of midge is that is

that is that what this person’s wanting

um well just says they they haven’t

talked to her

for 25 years because of the tupperware

situation

i think um yeah i kind of want to be

i don’t want to get rid of people that’s

to me that’s unethical

so i still think she should call midge

up and

officially sever ties because to me just

because someone i haven’t talked to

someone in 25 years

doesn’t necessarily mean that like i’m

intentionally

not talking to them that’s true i’ve

been i’ve been ghosted

you know what i mean that it was

happening yeah there’s people i haven’t

talked to in let’s say 15 years but i

haven’t

i’m not necessarily vindictively

trying to ignore them so i feel like you

need to call and make that clear because

for all we know midge is living in our

ignorance

and this is yeah this is a valuable

lesson

from cameron’s corner i guess that

if you uh you can never just let

something stand

you can never just let words you know

go bye you have to don’t let water stand

don’t let words stand

call them up or track them down and let

them know that you have a problem

and then you can just say do you

remember me you probably don’t because

it was 25 years ago

you stole my tupperware i hate you and

i’m never

going to let you meet my children and

then you sever that tie

only then can you truly say you’ve been

broken up with that person

you know yeah so that’s that’s cameron’s

relationship advice

uh and that’s the segment we’ve been

working on i don’t know if it’s this is

the right time or place but

it’s good to to have a kind of an

attempt at it

so it’s good for me to have an outlet

finally yeah

so to this listener thank you for

listening now for today’s medical topic

hepatocellular adenoma hepatocellular

adenoma

is a benign liver tumor most often seen

in young women around 15 to 40 years of

age

risk factors include oral contraceptive

use uh female sex

and anabolic steroid use patients may be

asymptomatic

uh hepatocellular adenoma may be

discovered incidentally on abdominal

imaging studies

that being said um the right upper

abdominal quadrant

um pain or fullness may also be present

but like i said it’s one of those things

that can just turn up on imaging

uh malignant and i think it’s important

to remember this because people haven’t

been taking it seriously

just because it’s asymptomatic doesn’t

mean that it’s not contagious

yes that that’s true i i don’t think

that applies so much to

hepatocellular adenoma as it does too

i you know i i am i know what you’re

saying everyone always always talking

about it and everyone is

everyone knows all this stuff but i do

think it’s important to sort of

stress because there’s been a lot of

confusion

over what is and is not correct in

medicine

so i think it’s important to say like to

make it you know yeah

you can be asymptomatic and so that’s

why the two weeks is so important

yeah no that’s and that that’s that’s

true that’s

more true for you know contagious viral

illnesses that kind of thing

uh but in any case um so

fine in hepatocellular adenoma uh

malignant potential is very low at less

than one percent

however even though it’s a benign tumor

the adenoma may rupture

leading to hemoperitoneum and hemorrhage

so it’ll just literally

burst open and fill the you know

abdominal cavity with

with blood uh diagnosis is made by ct

scan

ultrasound or hepatic arteriography

which is

the most accurate but it’s also the most

invasive

treatment is to discontinue oral

contraceptives and

surgically resect tumors greater than

five centimeters that

do not regress after stopping those oral

contraceptives

if you do not resect these one i mean i

think

i mean i think there’s definitely a lot

isn’t there a whole thing about like six

you stay six feet away from people you

wash your hands for 20 seconds

yeah yeah that’s so that that’s one sort

of

um it’s not really treatment actually

that’d be more

what we call prophylactic that’s

preventative

uh actions so that that’s just over the

counter

the staying six feet away from people

that’s over the counter yeah

okay uh and washing your hands that’s

also over the counter

um okay what do you think uh let’s see

trying generally staying isolated uh

you know not gathering in large groups

that’s also over the counter

and this will prevent you from getting

like liver disease

i don’t i don’t know that that is a pr i

haven’t seen studies

on maintaining this so the science

hasn’t caught up to your theories yet

with regard to interest or adenoma i

don’t know that

um there’s any correlation or lack of

correlation because once again i

i don’t know that there have been

studies done on it between uh

maintaining six feet distance apart and

uh you know getting hepatocellular

developing

a cellular adenoma but and that’s why

it’s so important that we

we we bring these up and you bring these

theories to the medical community yeah

i’m very proud of you dr london

thank you yeah it’s you know we just

want to we want to keep everyone

informed

and healthy and learning so uh

i will say um for these

uh for these tumors if you do not resect

these larger tumors

i do want to reiterate they can rupture

so it is one of those things where

just because it’s benign it you know

it’s not cancer

you do still want to deal with it if it

enlarges

uh yeah uh

do you have any more questions about

what’s over the counter no

i do want to apologize i i pronounced

your name wrong earlier dr lerndon

okay thank you oh sorry learn yeah learn

that’s an end

sound learned learned on yeah

learned in is is the name

lerm den sounding weird to you now it

it’s like you hear the word learned in

so much that it like loses all meaning

after a while

yeah no it’s it is sounding strange it

sounds weird

i don’t know i don’t know yeah that

might just be i mean

you know for our listeners feel free you

know we get all this listener feedback

all the time obviously

but um if you want to let us know if dr

learmdin is starting to sound weird to

you

you can uh let us know through graffiti

on your local

uh you know building or hospital

and maybe we can get some alts for your

name yeah

yeah that’d be great like have you

settled on lermden like you could be a

fisher

you could be like uh um

daniel what my mom told me whenever i

got on to

those dating apps she said do not settle

so what you said have you settled on a

name and i said

she my mother told me do not settle and

that’s really just the advice that i try

to follow oh

yeah i understand that so we’ll just

stick with dr lermdin for now because

that’s where you’ve settled

even though you promised your mother

that you would never settle you clearly

have

okay is that that’s what you’re saying

right i

that’s uh we can move on from there if

that if that works

sure

all right uh cameron you said that we

have some guests today is that right

that’s right dr landon

all right well hello there my name is dr

londonsmith.com and this is my producer

cameron

uh what were your names i’m agent karen

gold

and this is my client who doesn’t wait

for me to speak

go ahead client you can talk oh sorry

sorry hey hey brothers uh

my name is malibu hubhogan uh dr

longdong it’s uh nice to meet you

producer macaroon really great to meet

you sir yeah nice to meet you as well

you’re not the malibu hop hogan are you

oh you know six-time heavyweight

champion two-time galaxy champion in the

world yeah

whoa be careful with the galaxy stuff be

careful

i you know if i if i may ask cameron how

did you get this guest

oh i just put an ad on like sort of a

spin-off website of craigslist it’s not

quite craigslist

it’s like uh i don’t know it gives you

like a warning when you try to visit it

it’s uh it’s called legs list and uh to

be honest i i was really sitting there

looking for some honeys to come on over

to the house to try this new product i

have

oh you have a product to promote huh

wait i want to know real quick why what

what’s the issue with the galaxy stuff

ah yes

aj you said your name uh agent karen

gold esquire is that correct esquire yes

they’re the esquire at the end it’s very

important

um well last time he claimed himself to

be the

galaxy world champion it created a bit

of an issue and there were other

wrestlers that weren’t so happy with him

which is why i’m here to make sure he

doesn’t say any ridiculous statements

like that again are these were these

other wrestlers

in in non-earth parts of the galaxy is

that where we’re getting at

they actually were yes so you must have

heard the story i think their product

is a little legal okay there’s no way

that those guys were out of this world

they were definitely from like

canada okay all right

canada oh i see what you’re getting at

you thought you heard

someone’s voice was like a tiny bit

different and you assumed they must come

from like a completely different place

she says they were aliens

but i think they were just illegals yeah

okay so so i have one little question so

um

agent karen gold esquire is so are you

an

fbi agent is that and this is you said

this is your client no i’m not an fbi

agent i’m his agent

she’s his talent what kind of ridiculous

question is that yes i’m his talent rep

i’m his

pr i’m his attorney i’m here you thought

she was like his spy

well just people who use agent as a

title

like there are agents of course you know

whenever you’re

you’re auditioning for things whatever

but to call yourself agent

as a title part of your name that that’s

okay

yeah you’re typical i kind of get that

you’re saying like cole sprouse’s

casting agent so we’re talking like

frankie muniz and agent cody banks right

yeah yeah i assumed that this was an

agent cody banks cole sprouse’s

casting agent probably doesn’t introduce

themselves as like

hi i’m agent jerry or whatever

who runs this podcast do you have a

manager here this podcast is actually

decentralized we run it on the

blockchain so

no one runs it and that’s really the

beauty is that like everyone’s

internet connection is running it i

don’t even know what that means yeah you

are running it

i guess would be one way to say it yeah

oh man of the people i i like where this

is going

mm-hmm yeah we try to uh

we try to bree bring ourselves to the

level of the common man and woman

and however you identify the layman

yeah the the other i don’t want to say

that i feel like that’s rude

it’s a legal term it’s not rude it’s a

legal term

we have malibu hop hogan on this show

right now i’m so sorry that you’re

distracted

you said you were here to promote some

sort of a product yeah so

you know my time’s really precious you

know uh my agent books me out far in

advance

and sometimes she overbooks me i i i’ve

been thinking about getting a new agent

but we’ll talk about that later

i i’ve got this really new problem you

need money um

it’s like this cream and you know

bodybuilding techniques because you know

as a wrestler i really need to get big

and swole

because how else am i supposed to be the

galaxy champion in the world so i got

this really good powder

it’s it’s a little sketchy but i really

just need a doctor to approve it so i

can get out there and start making extra

cash on the side you know

oh okay so this is this is a one of

those

sort of supplement things where you just

want a doctor’s endorsement

to give it legitimacy yeah it is

legitimate i promise

but yeah i just need a doctor just to

make it legitimate

because you know before you submitted to

the fda you have to get like

five of your favorite doctor’s uh

signatures their approval

well as a reference i couldn’t get a

hold of dr seuss i tried

apparently he died a few years ago

apparently he died a few years ago

yes so i i was just kind of going

through the phone book and

really trying to get somebody out there

you know and that

and i just want to say right now that

that whenever i referred to that past

cinco de mayo when something happened

and we had all the doctors together and

doctors

dr seuss was barely a part of that group

when we first started

he wasn’t even you know like he he

wasn’t even like

he he didn’t even get a medical you know

honorary doctorate

his that that helps you feel like it

wasn’t your fault is that what you’re

trying to say

i’m i’m oh he was barely a part of any

of that

and none of us could be you know legally

held responsible for

for anything that happened to him but uh

yes i don’t i mean no one asked that no

one even

no one even questioned it i’m just

trying to get a product endorsed here i

i don’t really need the whole story

yeah dr london why are you wasting these

people’s time let’s get to the bottom

of what we’re here to talk about which

is this cream what are the what are the

supposed effects of this cream

so look the the effects are you you take

one

and uh it really helps build your

muscles back right because as we’re

working out we’re lifting heavy weights

brothers listen to this you know

we’re in the gym every single day until

we make our money

so your muscles sometimes hurt well this

makes it so your muscles don’t hurt and

they rebuild twice as fast you heard

that other stuff

creatine that don’t do nothing compared

to this product brothers i’m sorry it’s

a cream

but you take it you’re describing it

like you take it like a pill

or like a supplement i’m in the works it

started as a cream but i’m trying to get

in powder for him too look i’m really

just trying to get all inclusive

whatever is easiest for you at the gym

that’s interesting and you know there’s

do you have any cream pills on your

person oh

i think my agent i gave you a couple

pills right not the ones that we got

from around the street corner but the

ones i brought from the house

yeah um yeah they should be in the mail

i already mailed them to both of you

make sure you try them as soon as you

get them and give us feedback okay yes

okay i mean

yeah we should have these dr london yeah

yeah okay okay okay great it’s this

it was this package that i didn’t i

didn’t understand because the return

address

was uh you know it might have been

linked

yeah yeah and so we so i guess we’ll put

in this

this bowl um

oh i’m just gonna crush it right up or

just take it with water you know

whichever works

i sometimes take it with the bangs some

people prefer to snort it if you really

want to get it in there quick

i was just gonna just take it raw that

works too or you know if you really just

grab a monster energy drink i found that

that really gets me going as well right

before the gym

yeah so there are a lot of warning

labels did you

did you put these on here or was this

just part of oh

the only warning label i really need is

warning

you’re gonna get really buff this is

where you this is why i’m here

all right hop hogan this is why i’m here

there’s lots of warnings

and you take them as is

but you’re gonna get swole and you’re

going to get big and you’re going to be

happy you see these pythons

one of these warnings is like a skull

and crossbones but the skull

is like a dog’s skull i don’t this isn’t

a dog product i don’t understand

so what is this warning about well

some people have werewolf tendencies but

it’s only been about

one percent of our test subjects okay

it’s like you know death

oh so they did they have like a skull

that actually makes you stronger so

i mean i figured it was a cool label

does this negatively affect

people who already have werewolf

tendencies or you’re saying they give

them those actually people who already

have werewolf tendencies it can actually

cure them

but people who don’t have them it can

cause them it tames the beast

okay but again it only happens when

there’s a full moon

the the transformation into a werewolf

yeah yeah we know how werewolves work

okay i’m just making sure not everybody

does

full moon i think silver bullet

yeah the silver bullet to the heart yep

so i mean this is seems all above board

to me dr london what are you thinking

yeah well

so it’s just the amount of label because

so i was talking about the return

address being kind of

blocked out it’s because most of the

package is warning labels

so i’m reading uh some of them well we

got to cover it

well yeah it says you know warning

do not in ingest without clinical

supervision

uh and you know it has a lot of choking

hazards even though it is a cream

it’s most it’s sort of a solids it has

height requirements i mean that’s

standard boilerplate don’t read too much

into it it’s standard boilerplate it’s

the same thing you click when you get

yourself the height and weight

requirements

but cigarettes have warning labels beer

has warning labels so you know we just

figured we cover all of our bases and

they’re all totally good and healthy for

you and they’re just fine for you

it says here extreme negative effects if

you’re below five

seven i’m not below five seven but i

that is not

similar to any phone contract i’ve ever

had then you’re not reading your phone

contracts

this feels that is very true okay i take

that back yeah i can see that

so it it has another label here that i

guess it’s not a warning so much it says

you know part of the instructions and

the instructions are also extensive

but the instructions say do not remove

any rodents from packaging so

are rodents a part of it because i do

see movement

are rodents a part of the supplement or

are they just there to facilitate

this extra protein right you need

protein to build muscles

and have you seen the pizza rat from new

york that’s where this whole idea came

from

that little guy should not have been

able to lift that big of a slice of

pizza

so we did do research into rodents to

try to get some of their

toughness and it’s it’s only in some of

the cream pills

yeah ninja turtles come on yeah exactly

okay so that’s a really interesting

origin story so whenever you saw pizza

rat

you you didn’t think like that’s funny

cute you thought

that’s a product and i need that i need

to

not just have it but i need to sell it

oh absolutely wrestling’s not for other

brothers you know sometimes

freak injuries happen we really got to

cover our bases i’m trying to set myself

up for the future you know what i’m

saying brothers

yeah so yeah it’s i guess it’s just

because

i immediately think of i don’t know like

that one really muscular kangaroo

i think of that and i think oh what’s

what’s that guy taking but for you

oh uh

yeah yeah can you remember how jack drew

is

yeah her name was kanga roo was her her

little child

oh no that’s what i was talking about

how jack that’s yours

super buff baby yeah just

weirdly strong child

looks i’m gonna have to because he’d be

we’re trying to get the small ones

up to that level too even even the

smaller got to be real jacked you know

what i’m saying here

okay so a lot of this is is targeted

towards kids too

absolutely kids you can never start too

young pumping that iron okay

you see these freak athletes there’s

these 13 year olds that are about 6 7

480 out there and they’re pumping iron

every single day so you cannot start too

young

we just want every kid to have a head

start no kid left behind

except the height requirement i also

thought since you know

well roller coasters have height

requirements i thought everybody had to

have higher

requirements is that not exactly we care

about safety

but yeah it’s less that the work it’s

more

about the requirement being there at all

that i think

causes a lot of questions and concerns

but honestly i’m over five seven so it

doesn’t bother me it’s not that big of a

deal i just i’m feeling for our shorter

brethren

well if you’re short you probably don’t

belong in the wrestling ring anyways

it’s okay

you can go to ufc

wow shots fired

i’m not here to shoot shots i’m here to

protect my client

so i see the packaging came with you

know not just the instructions not just

the

um the poorly contained cream

liquid thing it came with and poorly

contained rat

it wasn’t that poorly contained it

should have been very well contained it

just tends to leak

i guess for this for it to have lasted

for the whole shipping process

which that was another thing is the rat

was leaking i thought that was bad

well you know sometimes with like it

adds a little extra juice to it you know

really and when they they do the mailing

thing

things get a little too tough a little

hard so it really keeps it soft don’t do

is that why you put packaging peanuts in

a package

uh i don’t know i don’t know if

packing peanuts are the equivalent of a

leaking rat

i’m not sure that they’re the two the

two are like one to one

comparable but i’m not a packing i’ve

never worked for like ups or anything

we’re speaking about ignorance here

that’s you know the only thing i’m

really packing is you know

37-inch pythons so you know this is the

first time we’ve heard complaints

honestly a lot of people get it and if

it’s leaking rats they’re like oh man my

package is here and they get excited so

i’m really surprised you guys seem to

i’m sorry to be

so critical it’s one of those things

where because you’re asking for an

endorsement i want to be thorough

in all of this so uh but so as i said

that’s what the warning labels are for

so so it came with a lot of things that

you know

as the way you were talking about it is

making more sense now because

you know it does come with the sort of

standardized

measuring scooper thing as well as

just a spoon just a just a little

teaspoon

as well as a syringe

and i’m just wondering

well yeah i guess i shouldn’t wonder

anymore i can just read the instructions

so

uh yeah so it says do not

inject in big letters but it also has a

winky face next to it

so is that well we like to you know

yeah it’s isn’t that what they do with

the flu shots they just tell you don’t

inject this yourself

but you can go to the doctors or a

trained

whatever and they can inject it for you

right i guess that would explain the

syringe that comes with

it like the cap on the the bottle is

also

doubles as a syringe i thought that was

cool is it isn’t it like

you know those commercials you see they

they tell you you know side effects may

include but at the end they’re like

wink try my product exactly

i guess yeah they’re saying like if you

want these things

like give it a shot

no no i don’t think that’s the case at

all okay so it’s saying like

what it what what is it saying though

it’s just saying that like hey you might

get this but you’re also

in for a good time and you’re gonna get

swole

[Music]

well that’s and see dr london this is

they’ve been able to explain

their medical miracle product so much

better than you’ve ever been

able to explain any medicine on this

entire show

ain’t that the truth yes okay

do you wanna come on dr learning i think

we got a real case here

do you wanna i mean we can go ahead and

i guess sample it just to

i guess for you said we can mix it or

not

and either way is fine user’s choice on

this one you can mix it

you cannot mix it whatever you want to

do brother trust me it’s really safe

okay so i guess cameron is i’m gonna go

ahead and mix it in my ramen man

and then you’re just okay and you’re

pouring that the ramen into your eye

i guess yeah that is that is an avenue

where you can do it

um yeah the fried egg anyway

it doesn’t matter people don’t know

about this one but you add a fried egg

to your ramen and it makes it taste

so good friday hey you’re writing this

down

i need to i need recipes yeah yeah yeah

i’m on it

okay so i’m okay so i’m gonna gonna just

take the teaspoon method and i’m gonna

just

pour that in your eye yeah

listen to your eye just yeah drink that

up

yeah so i’m

and i do want to say you know for our

listeners look i i brought this one it’s

pina colada flavor does we’re planning

on releasing it for our uh

cinco de mayo party you know i keep

telling him it should be margaritas but

he really likes the pina colada just

really

really pina coladas like a love for

precipitation like you just like getting

caught in the rain

he just really hates yoga no you know

like cinco de mayo they’re always like

just talking about pina coladas and

drinking it up so

what better way to promote the product

than you know

maybe missing that point okay so um

so is the pill flavored like that or or

just females

yeah like pina colada flavor everything

that you just want in a pina colada you

know when you go down to chili’s

on a cinco de mayo and you order your

pina coladas and your coronas

that’s what it’s supposed to taste like

i don’t think we’re allowed to say it

and does it

it it does to me it should okay so we’re

okay i mean that’s perfect um okay it’s

it is gonna be hard to taste it given

that

per the instructions we we have both

taken it

in through the eye but um

i and sorry for the listeners uh you

don’t have taste

buds you don’t have taste receptors in

your eye

they are all in your mouth yeah but wait

why does why does cinnamon toast crunch

always say the taste you can see

and see this is one of the interesting

mysteries that i think we’ve all sort of

stumbled upon

and that are you familiar with the

mandela effect

yeah that’s that game with like the the

marbles or whatever right

yeah it’s like if let’s say you had a

marble that

spelled berenstein bears with an e and

then you had another marble

that spelled it with an a and then you

thought it

was spelled one way and then you

realized it was spelled another way and

then you thought

that you’re in another timeline now do

you get what i’m saying

no not at all i just want to know why

the cinnamon toast crunch is the taste

you can see if i don’t really

taste it with my eyeballs i thought that

was the whole point i think there might

have been a previous reality that you

had lived in where there were taste buds

within

a person’s eye and that is a remnant

from that reality

i understand producer cameron you have

to speak slow with him

it’s i would also say like they i

believe they’ve been sued for false

advertising

over that issue what that’s outrageous

who to sue a bunch of kids no it’s

frustrating i

i know how many families have been

impacted just you know that they’ll talk

about at the clinic

saying like well i i ate i kept eating

the cinnamon toast crunch and i’m

pretty frustrated because i i can’t see

the taste

now i do have diabetes and it’s getting

worse

and i keep eating it i’m just trying to

see the taste

uh and then i have to be the one to

break it to them

that that you don’t have taste buds in

your eyes you just

it’s just that’s not how it works

they’re not there

um but that’s just one of those things

that people misremember like people

thought nelson mandela had already died

in prison years prior and then found out

years later that he was still alive

because these kind of like public

miscommunications happened dr

london wait nelson mandela still isn’t

he the guy from

the uh the bruce almighty movie he

played god right

uh yeah oh no that’s

jim carrey oh oh

well hold on big k can we 100 of profits

from this if you sign off on it

they’re going to go to these poor kids

who got sued because this is injustice

that we must fight

as long as i get ten percent of a

hundred

no 100 percent of proceeds we need to

fight this and

they can’t sue a bunch

if we’re going to endorse this we’re

going to get i mean i assume

10 off the top right 10 free from

10 free products you don’t negotiate

here hop hogan this is my my territory

five well let’s you know before we talk

money and or percentages you want to

talk about the congratulations

tried to snort cinnamon toast crunch and

then squirt it at his eye like that guy

does with

milk from the guinness book of world

records yeah well

okay so that did happen a lot yeah in

the clinic

kids would do that all the time and it

was once it’s just a thing where like

i i that it becomes a medical issue

yeah and i i get frustrated with the

cementos crunch that’s that’s actually

one of the leading causes of just

well all the patients who come in asking

for surgery because once they find out

that they can’t taste with their own all

of them every single surgery you do is

related to cinnamon toast crunch

not all of them but

enough that that it’s worth talking

about yeah you know

well i’m glad you were able to bring

that to the show and uh

bringing it to everyone’s attention dr

london so so they’ll

but the thing because they’ll they’ll

want taste buds in their

in their eyes that’s what it comes down

to so they do ask for the surgery

and you know i’m trying i try to help

you know um in any case so

as i’m you know i do feel

different this thing is the supplement

has had time to to sort of work its way

in i think

i feel very greasy all of a sudden like

very oily

is that supposed to is that is that

supposed to happen

well yeah that’s it’s like the bad toxin

sweating its way out of your body as you

go get a good pump

what about the pus that’s coming from my

eye

that’s just moisturizing your eye

because it

it it seems a lot like a very

remarkably fast infection like

like an infection is that yellow fast

it it’s changing uh it was yellow

it’s totally fine it’s yellow green

white red or blue

it’s perfectly normal

it’s just party themed you know what i’m

saying

do you say it’s normal because do you

mean normal as in

typical for this product or do you mean

normal as in medically

safe i mean it in both you have so many

questions

listen listen one time i had a rainbow

of colors coming out of my eyeballs

i felt great the next day that was

probably the best workout of my life

brother

and you were probably like sort of

seeing these cool effects

the whole time right uh you know

while i was really getting that pump in

i started to see you know blue and

oranges and

it felt like i was in a really 85 movie

and i think that was attributed to such

a great workout i had

wow yeah that’s incredible so

um i guess you know for this product i’m

gonna have to say like i’m not really

feeling like this is medically

safe i most products most supplements

don’t give you

an eye infection it’s not an infection

it’s an eye lubricant

yeah they’re just creasing up your eye

dr london i

thought he was supposed to be smart okay

so i’ll also go ahead and say

uh most supplements don’t you know

lubricate your eyes most most workout

supplements well that’s why this one’s

better than the rest

listen listen dr long john do you do you

ever actually work out

do you know what supplements do you take

supplements ever uh

yeah yeah i take them sometimes the like

protein protein no no listen listen

listen the good stuff that us wrestlers

use you want to know how i got this real

jacked

it’s by using the supplements you don’t

go buy at your local gnc brother

all right it’s totally safe trust me

okay and so

so this is the trick though because

you’re saying for me to trust you

but you are asking me to to

tell everyone else to trust me about

your product so do you see how it’s

we i made it so you tell them that you

trust me

and that should be enough i

so i i can’t help but feel like there’s

some liability that will fall back on me

to some extent so i’m that’s why i’m

here

to tell you everything he’s saying is

trustworthy

okay another vouching for trust

i it just seems like listen in this

world today

okay you gotta just learn to trust each

other

because if we don’t have trust what else

do we have

we’re giving you five percent i

so so i think i’m gonna pass on this for

now

at least um maybe do some more clinical

studies on it

uh cameron are you you’re feeling with

me on that

maybe maybe you need to try the pina

colada could you could you

ship dr doctor sorry dr lermoden

some pina colada pills listen i’ll ship

you pina colada and i’ll i’ll even make

one

of your choice if it’s going to help the

cause i don’t

i mean for one thing going forward i

think that you know any supplements you

have

they should be yeah oral supplements

they none of them should be injectable

none of them should go through your eye

i don’t they’re only

i don’t have a lot of products that need

to be

administered through the eye so that’s

that’s one big thing so you’re an oral

kind of guy

okay okay i got you yeah you know i i

once knew a girl that was like that

absolutely disgusting dr london that you

would force this conversation to turn in

that direction

i mean there’s a lady present okay i’m

appalled

honestly i apologize okay so you know

what uh

maybe this is a good time to switch over

to our doctor london

loves you whose so if you get some that

are you who

flavored i think he might be a little

more convinced

would he’ll put yoohoo in his body and

not our prada do you know what you who’s

made out of it sits on shelves that’s

fake milk brother

that’s not okay well what is your that

does bring us to

what is your product made from i mean

it’s it’s made from a lot of different

stuff okay i i don’t have that kind of

time right now

i i trust did you name one of the things

oh one of the things

well it’ll take us about 20 minutes to

list all these yeah could you name five

of them

just five of them because there’s so

many i mean there’s pizza rat

there’s high fructose corn syrup okay

there’s a little maple syrup in there

for good taste

when you say that there is pizza rat

do you mean that there is a rat

no it’s it’s like we went to new york

you know

and we gathered up all the rats that

were eating pizza in new york

and we squeezed the juice from the pizza

that they had drooled on and put it in

there

listen listen you’re gonna eat m m’s

which have like cockroach shells or

beetle shells as the casings but you’re

you’re not gonna trust pizza rat

this gets you jacked brother that one

what makes you fat one makes you

swole so i mean

that is interesting hershey’s makes

those little turds that we all eat

without

questioning why are we eating these tiny

little poops called kisses

exactly and yet we’re so scared just so

worried about this like

do you know what all these things that

you put in your body do everything is

just non-organic brother all right

listen to me who knows what they’re

putting on your salad new york has one

of the best

pizzas you can get yeah because of the

water

and you know that pizza rats eat they

drink water same

water yeah they’re probably eating the

bagels too

wow so dr lynn are you not tempted to

change your mind about this i you know i

you’d think so but i’m pizza right

high fructose corn syrup uh yellow 15

maple syrup oh yellow five maple syrup

and then was there a fifth one

uh you know peanut butter colada flavor

you gotta put a little

the pina colada in it right i think you

should listen to produce a comrade here

he’s on to something

he seems like a really smart guy i’m

gonna have my secretary

my secretary’s gonna fax you a list of

all the ingredients and a before and

after picture

of malibu hot pogan and that will change

your mind i promise you

listen i can get you two seats to

wrassle kingdom all right

two seats front row brothers if you put

your name on this product

that does sound kind of like a well i

guess payment or bribe

i guess whichever but i don’t know i

don’t know you don’t do bribes no no no

no

i just wanted to show my appreciation

for you endorsing this product

by showing you a good time brothers you

know what i’m saying

yes it was a gift in good faith and also

you’re not like a politician

or in any position of power you’re

allowed to like

take gifts from people who are trying to

get your endorsement

yeah it’s i i get like yeah it’s not

illegal

this type of bribe i’m definitely not

you just

don’t want to go don’t politicians take

donations from

big oil companies well i’m just you’re

taking a donation of gifts

for front row tickets to wrestle kingdom

just to just for just a product just

think about it okay you don’t have to

answer just to think it over dr london

okay it’ll give you a better idea of the

product

yeah and maybe just show me some

clinical studies

that that really reinforce the

legitimacy of it and the

the efficacy if we’re in the front row

that means that dr london could

potentially be hit in the head with a

chair

which then might change his mind on this

subject

exactly or you can get on tv people

might start to come to your practice

because they’ve seen you on tv

okay we can make this work that’s how i

pick my doctors

is who’s advertising during wrestling

you could be like dr oz

no the right

only doctors i see on tv do i use dr

phil dr oz

really respectable people right this

could be you

okay okay um so it’s i

i will i guess reconsider

pending the new info i i guess maybe

i’ll

i just want to see some clinical stuff

you know like sure i’m sure we’ll

get you on that door we’ll totally get

you documentation

just don’t worry about that nerd nerd

yeah double blind placebo control yeah

sure should randomize clinical trials

okay so um so so we have these chores to

do and

like i hate going back to this

especially when we have a celebrity on i

just don’t want to

thank you thank you for having us here

yeah we really appreciate brothers

yeah oh but you can you can feel free to

join in with us um we actually

appreciate the help these

oh yeah yeah plea please yeah help us

out

do you want me to explain a little bit

of what we’re talking about here

yeah yeah if you would uh okay to our

listeners

who maybe are new or maybe just checking

in

after a while or maybe just peeking it

just doing a little peek in for the

first time

uh to tell you the truth dr london and i

have been neglecting

all of our duties for a really really

long time we have this huge to-do list

this huge list of chores

that have gone completely undone we

haven’t done the dishes in forever

we haven’t taken out the trash in

forever the pool drains

flooded the pool drain is clogged with

london’s ankle goop

and just no one’s taking care of it

because we’re busy

there’s so many things that are going on

i had to watch that chess

show on netflix last fall

yeah and so and the live stream you mean

the live stream chess game yeah

and it was so good but regardless

we created this fun chore wheel

so we put every single chore that we

have to accomplish on this wheel and

every single week we spin it

whatever it lands on we have to do it no

matter what all right i i can do this

yeah and it’s yeah there’s no take

backseats we have to actually do the

chore

and i’m hoping that it i know dishes are

a big thing but

really the flooded basement to me is

kind of the most pressing because the

water is still rising

um well to me with with summer coming up

i want the pool

working and not so clogged up with your

ankle goop

yeah no and like i don’t want to you

know downplay

how important that is but at the same

time

i eventually the water is going to rise

above the garage

or so above the basement and will you

know take over

it does sound like you’re trying to

downplay how thick your ankle goop is

i uh not trying to downplay it just

just saying like the order in which we

approach the pro in any case

hopefully this will land on one of those

today

um now uh could our fun celebrity guest

uh would you spin the wheel for us

oh yeah brother i love spinning the

wheel i love the prices right

all right just give that just give that

bad boy a spin

[Music]

oh no it landed

not this one i didn’t want to do this

one what is it ah

okay so um it said

plan out your tv spot your

your commercial for the wrestling match

which

i that is i mean i guess it’s fortunate

that

it happened to come up today that’s a

huge coincidence

yeah look that you know i uh man i i

could do this in my sleep right okay

brother

we got this i guess to start out wait

who are we doing the advertisement for

well it honestly it doesn’t say i

i was thinking it’d be for us but it

could be for this product

um well i mean we could combine forces

here

okay i just but to make it clear we

cannot we’re not at the point of

officially endorsing but we can say

that the jock talk podcast is

considering endorsing the product

okay that’s that’s how we have to phrase

it i’m okay with that we’ll give you one

percent for that

oh

how long is the is the spot is it just

like a 30 second

that’s a 40 minute spot it’s a 40 minute

spot so it’s like okay yeah

so this is like the like at three

o’clock in the morning type of

i think i mean if i’m reading it right i

have to go over the contract again but i

think it’s

splitting up in the middle of a match

yeah

i think that they started and then like

basically we just lucked out we got a

really good spot right when everyone’s

watching

you know it’s a friday night thing so

it’s like two rounds and yeah

it just kind of cuts to sort of our

segment okay

well i mean i think for the like first

25 minutes of that we can just do

introductions yeah

yeah we can like introduce each other to

the camera

like yeah just like hi like i can say my

name you can say your name

we have our celebrity guest here with us

yeah yeah you really got to connect with

the audience we got to know him so we

can have

a malibu hogan himself like to introduce

us and then we introduce him and then we

do it in all different combinations

so that’s oh yeah that’s that’s that’s

easy 20 minutes we can burn with that

um we’ll take i would say maybe the next

10 let’s talk about the mandela effect

yeah well um i don’t you know what i

mean yeah i don’t wanna

the other one that people always use is

thinking that the shack movie

uh kazam was a uh

iced tea movie called shazam or

something like that

oh oh i i love surreal steel that’s a

good movie that is yeah yeah that’s it

yeah it said that

what i’m thinking though is for the last

we’re gonna need at least 10 minutes i

kind of want to cut into the mandela

effect time

to list the side of the time for that

because you also have to talk about star

wars when you’re talking about the

mandela effect

no we we don’t have time we got to press

on too yeah we can talk about the side

effects of the mandela effect which is

like

feeling how trippy the world is

yeah okay because it’s another one is

chick-fil-a people insist chick-fil-a

didn’t used to be spelled c-h-i-c-k

hyphen f-i-l hyphen a and they say that

that’s

that’s something that changed you can’t

they they can just change see the whole

problem with the government today is

they just change stuff and they think we

don’t notice

but i promise you brothers we really

notice we really got to show this

okay see you don’t believe in the

mandela effect

this is what i’m hearing no it’s all

it’s all a big made-up government

conspiracy that will

you know making it into a discussion an

explanation followed by discussion

would eat up some time in this

commercial i feel like it’s

you know maybe a bit of a i don’t want

to say a waste of money but it

you know we got this spot and to spend

it just

disagreeing about a concept that’s

pretty unrelated to the product you’re

advertising it seems like it wouldn’t be

that

that helpful but i guess you know this

is your

product and trust me it’s it’s going to

get the people going

okay so and that’ll so anyway so that’s

great so so we’ll end

the last 10 minutes we’ll be uh

just focusing on listing side effects

of the mandela effect no no no no no no

we gotta we gotta promote the upcoming

matches we’re in the middle we’re doing

it in the middle of a wrestling tv show

we gotta promote what’s next

okay okay so let’s spend the last side

effects are important

okay maybe so the side effects maybe we

can split the frame

into threes so we have on the

the far left side is the side effects

sort of scrolling up and being red

that’s the symbol two seconds for side

effects side effects

get big muscles both side effects of the

mandela effect

so we’re not going to talk about the

side effects of our product

before mandela effect is before this a

lot of

there’s a good 10 minute portion

dedicated to that but and then the

middle section on the on this three part

split

is um the upcoming wrestling events

and then on the right side of the frame

is i’m there

with dr london asking questions like hey

does curious george have a tail

did you know that he doesn’t have a tail

and did you know that that must mean

that we’re in an alternate reality and

not that i’m just unobservant

now you’re telling me it’s doctor london

we’re having the mandela effect on this

show right now

wow i

my name is imported lauren dollars

oh wait how do you get a green card

because i got a couple friends been

really working on getting their green

cards through here so that we can get

them into wrestling

it’s a lot easier whenever most of your

name isn’t

imported so it’s just just the lermed in

part

is imported the rest is uh okay okay

you’re writing this down because yeah

enjoy it it’s crazy how professional

wrestling industries don’t offer like

temporary work visas

it’s so weird that you have to get like

a green card just to wrestle in this

country

we can’t even get health insurance out

here okay brother it’s insane this

country is so backwards

i’m working on changing that anyway so

i’ve i guess

i guess we’ve figured it out right we’ve

got the the full ad spot figured out

first 20 minutes

just introductions next 10 minutes is

explaining the mandela effect side

effects

uh and then yeah yeah yeah side effects

of watching wrestling and you know

really really going to be

exposed we got you yeah in the last 10

10 minutes a split three-way

split on the screen yeah yeah side

effects future wrestling

uh events and then more mandela effect

stuff

side effects and then yeah maybe we list

like

so maybe we should split into four and

the fourth one can be listing

every service that our podcast is

available on so we’re promoting the

podcast

and there’s 30 000 podcast apps

so you can just scroll through them and

i you should also have the before and

after picture of him on a little screen

like that you remember that picture in

picture yeah i used to be real really

skinny

but after taking the yeah my god my

muscles but let’s put his uh before and

after picture in that picture in picture

let’s do it let’s do that but let’s do

it in the style of

because this is where you really bring

in the viewers um the style of those

dvd waiting screens where it’s it’s

moving the whole time and it’s you’re

waiting for it to hit the corner

it’s like pong yeah yeah yeah yeah oh

and every time it hits the corner you

take a sip oh that’s good then we can

market a drinking game to promote

exactly take a sip of the protein

every time it hits the corner oh yeah

yeah yeah there you go

doctor long all right i’m gonna work on

this right now i’m getting the contracts

together

all right okay so what i feel like we’ve

really nailed this down

you know maybe okay yeah we just got to

record it i mean by tomorrow afternoon

again it’s so lucky that we got this

chore today oh yeah

is this we’ve had this booked for so

long

so long well we had it booked for last

summer and then it got delayed because

of covid

yeah wrestling it’s just all meant to be

brothers i believe in fate

and destiny has brought me here brothers

destiny is his uh limo driver

yeah the the greatest you know

demonstration of

fate is wrestling so it’s great to see

how everything aligns in just the right

way

all right well um you know oh i guess we

do have to destroy the chore wheel

because it’s uh

you know every week it it goes through

this process and we it’s all divided a

certain way we have new chores we have

old chores to get rid of

so uh if you could go ahead um mr

uh malibu hop hogan would you drown the

chore wheel oh absolutely brother’s my

guest

yeah so just yeah take it and then you

are going to have to grab it

and just just sort of tighten around

kind of like this

yeah yeah and so it’s going to resist a

little bit but you just go i got to see

this

is my product right here it yeah

good okay there it is okay so the the

chore wheel has been drowned

and so that means we’re done with that

segment so i feel like we’re actually

we’re actually at the end now so um

thank you so much to uh malibu hop hogan

for coming out and

also to agent karen gold esquire for

uh you know making sure everything is

sort of legally

within bounds um could you tell us

um how our listeners can keep up with

you after this or

with anything you’re a fan of yeah

brother so this is really dope podcast

since you know we’re on one i love

podcasts they really get me in the mood

before a match

and uh they’re called hopskeek news

right you can you they just talk

everything from

movies and comic books and tv shows and

beer who doesn’t love a good coors light

brothers

only they they well they never dream

about before is light we they talk about

crap

yeah craft beer they talk about you know

your ipas or

whatever it is brothers so you can find

them by searching hops news

on any platform right brothers even on

youtube and i’m just telling you it’s my

favorite thing

okay and um agent karen

is that do you have anything else to

promote or is it

i guess you just you’re you’re just

representing i just stand in the

background with my arms folded and yell

at my secretary and tell her what to do

so

that’s about right you can you know find

hopskeek news just search hops news like

he said on any podcast platform and on

youtube

and on instagram and on twitter we’re i

mean they’re not where

they’re geekops and that’s where you can

find them and they do not drink cores

late well

some of them sometimes do i love a good

coors light

wow you’re a big fan too that’s cool

that you guys are both such big fans of

this show

wow yeah fun it’s a pretty damn good

show i’m not gonna lie it’s the only

thing malibu hop hogan and i have in

common

gotcha okay well um so thank you to uh

our guests for coming on

thank you to our producer cameron thank

you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

warning you’re gonna get really buff

warning

you’re gonna get really buff okay this

is where you

this is why i’m here all right hop hogan

this is why i’m here there’s lots of

warnings

and you take them as is

but you’re gonna get swole and you’re

gonna get big

there’s lots of warnings

there’s lots of warnings