hey you’re about to lose new comedy

podcast that means that notice medical

advice meeting medical advice for

medical care please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring

dr london smith and you know how the

saying goes

happy saint patties from a couple of

jock boy daddies

introducing your host daddy london

smith hello

and welcome to the jock doc podcast

where we discuss fitness and health

and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host dr londonsmith.com i would

like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using such as

delirium tremens and st patrick’s day

so i’ll try to temper my terminology to

a simpler one in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron hey dr london

how are you hey hey i’m good we’ll talk

about you a bit

yeah okay i okay i feel so you’re

you’re opening up with that but you’re

wearing just a full suit

in one color right and you know there’s

there’s a holiday coming up

and you know that green is the color for

for st patrick’s day right um i think

that’s that’s sort of like a regional

thing i believe

where are you from you’re from like like

the bayou or something

like a swamp america america yeah but

you like from the swamp lands yeah i

think in the swamplands

it’s you wear green on st patrick’s day

okay and

but for the rest of the for the rest of

the time you wear just up just an

ugly brown yes yeah

so like a dead like a dead leaf sort of

brown

so you’d and yeah it’s a pile of [ __ ]

you try to look like a pilot

no i like i see the way you’ve plastered

on to it there

but i’m well that’s the poop emoji hat

you know that’s right as i feel like

maybe

because you come in strong saying let’s

focus on you london

but i’ve your outfit you never dress up

for the recordings

so do you want to talk about yours or do

you want to do you want to just focus on

me well i mean there’s

i don’t there’s not a whole lot to talk

about you already talked about this

holiday is coming up just in a couple

days

and so i’m definitely going to be

wearing my holiday outfit

and right after this you know i’m going

to the pub

for a um like st patrick’s day themed

pub quiz thing

right and you’re you’re confident about

your knowledge of yeah geeks who stink

yeah yeah yeah and you but you’re

comfortable in your knowledge of you

know being able to answer questions

about the holiday

oh yeah what’s the famous color

associated with the holiday

deep poopy brown um what

what famous thing what famous small

little creature

is associated with the holiday jackalope

those the uh the rabbits with

horns or whatever yeah um

well you know the what’s the what’s the

famous drink that’s associated with it

big red

right rc cola as well

yeah the two the top okay i you know my

experience has been different but

you know i know that you are to read

again like you’re from the swamp lanes

which i think

it’s a little different it’s like how in

some parts of arizona

they don’t acknowledge daylight savings

time so they’re like

in one time zone one you know one part

of the year and then another times in

another part of the year

in that same way you grew up with this

expectation that like

everything is green and you’ve got a

little what what’s your

a little boy running around or something

like that what does your

kind of swamp people do uh i mean

there’s the

sort of the classic mythology of it is

you know a leprechaun

is that what you’re talking about

leprechaun yeah sorry i mean it’s

again it’s not really like part of the

culture of the rest of america but yeah

yeah will the leper come on he’s like a

little leper like you can’t touch him or

something

yeah um well he he’s

he has leprosy and he will try to con

you

um sort of as a last stitch it’s uh

yeah it’s anyway it’s tradition but i

get that you have your own

way of honoring the tradition and i

don’t want to get in the way of that so

yeah

anyways so that’s our producer cameron

also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

yeah geeks who stink

[Music]

ugly brown ugly brown

you got geeks who stink ugly brown

yeah you got geeks who stink ugly brown

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

and later cameron tells me we can expect

a special guest is that right

that’s right dr london and also

instead of a four-leaf clover we’ve got

a classic five

leaf looking thing you know what i’m

talking about yes

you may be like roll up a little bit you

know what i’m talking about yes

uh a fruit roll up is that what you’re

getting at

uh you could probably smoke out of a

fruit roll up

i feel like you could do that smoke weed

every day okay i

yeah anyway so before we move on i would

like to address a bit of listener

feedback

i found this note written in my lawn on

the parts where someone had apparently

salted the earth so that nothing could

ever grow there again

then it reads quote growing up we

couldn’t afford bread

we just ate mayonnaise with a spoon and

drank hose water

end quote so um first of all thank you

so much this listener for reaching out

here

on the jock talk podcast uh we you know

we love to hear back from our listeners

to answer your question um you know i’m

sorry that budget constraints

have limited your meal plan so much to

just just a spoonful of mayonnaise

um if possible i would say try to throw

some more food groups in there uh you

know

the just the one that you know you want

to have your

your vegetables your grains all that

kind of thing uh

though i understand because i think like

on the food pyramid like

mayonnaise is like the third biggest one

you know what i mean it’s

it’s not the only one no it’s it isn’t

the only one you know there are fruits

and vegetables

you’ve got sugar meat mayonnaise

and then like uh fish

yeah no fish is you wanna

yeah you have a lot of these food groups

and so um

and also i should say you know hose

water usually at least in

in the states usually hose water is okay

unless you’re in one of the

areas that have had problems with this

um

anyway uh i mean

like i don’t know what if this per like

why are you insisting that this person

suddenly you know have normally

sandwiches

like what if they’re trying to just

watch carbs and so that’s why they’re

not eating bread

i mean we know the reason they’re not

eating bread is because of their money

but like

couldn’t that also be a benefit is that

they have a true keto diet

that’s what i’m doing see you’re

avoiding carbs

and eating i eat the content i eat the

contents of sandwiches rather than

sandwiches i eat a peanut butter and

jelly

every single day and it’s a mess stuff

goes

everywhere yeah i guess i you know i

guess i hadn’t considered it but

if you’re avoiding carbs and you just

are eating spoonfuls of

peanuts handfuls of

peanut butter and jelly handfuls of

meatballs and marinara sauce and

mozzarella cheese for my meatball sub

right no and that philly cheesesteaks

hurt so bad they are so hot yeah that

does sound painful do you

and you have no method of because you’re

avoiding carbs you don’t want anything

that can

like have you tried just a fork have you

thought of just

using don’t worry eat a sandwich with a

fork you just eat a sandwich with your

hands it’s it’s finger food that’s

part of the appeal

yeah no okay um so anyway

if we could you know move on because you

know today’s topic is pretty important

um

now for today’s medical topic chronic

mesenteric ischemia

so chronic mesenteric ischemia it’s also

called intestinal angina

refers to episodic or constant uh

intestinal hypoperfusion which is when

there isn’t enough blood reaching the

intestines

and it’s usually due to mesenteric

atherosclerotic disease

so i had a french dip like uh okay you

know like a french dip which you

you dip into stuff but i had to do that

with my hands

so i had the contents you know i had

like beef and whatnot and i’m i’m

stuffing that in so is it the dipping

sauce

you say your hands are because to dip

it sounds like everything is a dipping

situation so are you dipping one handful

into another handful

everything is two handfuls i would never

eat a sandwich without two hands that’s

just irresponsible

ten and two you’re supposed to have your

hands at ten and two

but yeah uh

yeah i mean i’m just dipping i’m dunking

both of my hands into the dipping sauce

okay but the dipping sauce is in okay

that’s in a bowl

you have something contained oh yes at

some point in the process that’s just a

normal normal dipping sauce okay

and you did it it’s about carbs i’m not

getting the carbs you know what i mean

yeah and you aren’t using cutlery you

know no silverware either yeah

no carbs no cutlery and that’s that’s a

true keto diet

then paninis are very painful

very painful and i haven’t figured out a

way around okay because for that you’re

you’re putting them i guess this this

begs the question

are you sure that you can call it a

panini if it’s

if there is no no carbs no bread

yeah i mean you’re talking about i’m

talking about sticking my hand on the

grill

because i’ve got like a you know a grid

layer like george foreman type of thing

with the you know like a panini press

yeah and then so i stick my hands on the

bottom part and then i close it

which gets the top part and it hurts

like hell dr london but that’s

the sacrifices you have to make to have

a body like mine

that’s true um no sorry i don’t mean to

interrupt your medical lesson to talk

about my

rockin bod i know and i

i don’t give you enough you know avenues

to bring that up

but you know you should be proud of your

body that’s you know what what you’ve

done is impressive

uh and it was so clinically with with

chronic mesenteric ischemia

uh patients classically present um with

complaints of

dull crampy postprandial epigastric pain

and that means

pain below the sternum after meals uh

that’s usually within the first hour

after eating this is because

are you are you describing uh a disease

dr london are you describing yourself

having pain below my sternum after

eating

oh yeah no no so i’m describing

that that’s a description of chronicles

i don’t normally have that is that

okay no just like you’re i’m saying like

you’re you’re a pain in my

lower area or whatever okay so really it

would be you

that you’re the disease so it’s below

you’re a disease on this planet yes that

should be eradicated

okay well this this is starting to get a

little hurtful where’s my london vaccine

son okay uh so so they

they have that pain within the first

hour after eating because there’s

increased demand for blood flow in the

digestive tract while the body’s

digesting food

significant weight loss may occur

because of this pain uh

because it’s associated with meals and

patients will often decrease their food

intake to stave off that pain

wow that’s a great dieting technique i

might need to add that

into my keto diet so this is

clogged just a pain every time that i

eat

which encourages me to eat less

it’s like people getting hypnotized to

like quit smoking by like oh the taste

of smoke tastes

like uh dirt or something yeah but but

in this case it’s because

parts of your intestinal tract are dying

my arteries are clogged

yeah yeah i think that’d be a really

creative way to

to lose weight

so diagnosis of chronic mesenteric

ischemia is with mesenteric

arteriography and definitive treatment

is with

surgical revascularization um and that

can lead to pain relief

in 90 of cases so you know there’s oh i

there’s treatment i i understand your

issue with what i’m saying this

is a body positive show and i do wanna

say that

but that also means being okay with

me getting a disease where every time i

eat it really really hurts

it hurts like hell yeah right

and so i mean the preparation of the

meal hurts like hell because i’m it’s

got my hand in a panini press

and everything i eat just kills my

stomach

because i’m my clogged arteries this is

a win-win

and that is my right so

sorry but i had to stand up for myself

yeah and i guess

i i guess i’m sorry for being critical

it because

in my mind it doesn’t sound like a

win-win it sounds like a lot of pain

throughout the process no pain no gain

right that’s a thing yep yeah that is

people people do anyway do you want to

do you want to go ahead and move on from

from the unless do you want to keep

talking about the

uh i mean your grilling habits no wait

let’s

move on do you have a question is i

don’t understand are you getting at

something

no i do i want to make sure that you

were finished because i’m i’m done with

explaining chronic mesenteric ischemia i

think yeah

i mean don’t you want to ask me a

question you don’t have a maybe a

question about me or something

just in general yeah so um uh so with

this diet of yours

uh how are you incorporating that into

your celebration of the holiday

you’re asking what kind of sandwich am i

gonna eat on st patties

yeah is there a traditional dish

okay that sounds less painful i guess

the same patty’s po boy

yeah no i uh once again just not

necessarily the dish i associate but uh

wait wait

i don’t know it’s hard to say is

my hands in the deep fryer

more painful than my hands on the grill

i don’t know so i don’t want to say it’s

actually less painful

so so your diet requires you to be

having your hands in

every part of the process of food

preparation of cooking

well yeah i mean you don’t need a plate

or anything for a sandwich that’s the

whole point it’s portable

it’s finger food dr london you think

that

having your hands involved is

like an avoiding color like that’s the

point of a no carb diet

no i just i love sandwiches and so i

knew

like getting rid of carbs i was gonna

have to get rid of sandwiches except for

i found a little trick one little trick

that doctors won’t tell you

which is use your hands for sandwiches

as sandwiches really and

and yeah because in the grilling process

and in the frying process

and uh well i i can’t recommend that to

you know to patients but uh you know if

if you if you like that i guess

you know keep on if that’s your

preference

all right well let’s go ahead okay

[Music]

cameron you said that we have a guest

today is that right that’s right dr

london and i will even say

even though you hate that i say this dr

london

okay that we have the coolest cat around

not i don’t i don’t think you’ve said

that yeah but i know i

knew as i was saying that you were

hating it you were saying

oh no it’s because you want to get

stuffy and professional and you hate

that i unbutton my top button and let my

collar loose

yeah it’s just you know sometimes i feel

like my brown my poop

brown suit i feel like you bring in

sometimes a

sort of an unprofessional vibe but i

feel like that’s also the role you play

like

we’re trying to make this more appealing

to the everyday person

so that they can care about chronic

mesenteric ischemia as well

oh we’re we’re not we’re not a marketing

to the average person anymore we’re

marketing to

sailors fishermen yes

okay i didn’t we pivoted towards that a

while ago i thought you

knew that boat people

big and bulk culture boat swain okay

um well anyway uh oh i guess i’ll bear

that in mind and try to

use the right terminology going forward

yeah um maybe say ahoy instead of hello

yeah uh all right ahoy there my name is

dr londonsmith.com and this is our

producer cameron or

i guess maybe i’d be kind of like the

captain of the ship

and then mm-hmm cameron maybe your first

mate

so cam cameron would be also on the ship

um

but what was your i’m a passenger ahoy

yep

oh hello hello hello ahoy ahoy ahoy my

name is darlene toot

thank you for having me on i am a

territory manager

to the southwest for garlic and i’ll do

anything to make a sale

okay that that’s your opening pitch is

that you can you’re gonna do anything

for a sale so

we can back up a little bit so you’re in

the garlic industry yes i

am i um i work for a website called

garlic.com backslash raw

and i am here to inform you about the

health benefits of garlic

and try to make a sale like i previously

said i’ll do anything to make a sale

well i want to know before i mean do you

before you even get into the intricacies

of of

of garlic and the health benefits um

like do you have clients already like

do you work with any big companies are

you providing garlic to like olive

garden or something

yes i do manage the olive garden account

i do that is a big one for me

i usually make my annual commission

on their christmas order if you know

what i mean

is that the order that they place on

christmas it is the biggest one

they always do a special sale where if

you come in

to olive garden in the month of december

they will give you a raw clove of garlic

and they will hide it on your person so

you can find it when you get home

wow i have wondered because i i have

gone to olive garden you know during

that time of year and then

i’ve been very confused whenever i get

home and i have garlic

on me and like you know uh i’ll go with

family members and stuff and they will

all

it’s i thought it was a vampire thing

yeah

that was i’m not crazy about them

sneaking it into my pocket i’d rather

they

be upfront about it it’s like the

youtube album it’s like

just because it’s free doesn’t mean i

appreciate it you know what i mean yep

i think it’s fine just just like putting

it in the pockets of all my jackets i

feel like maybe you could tell

talk to your people or something about

that maybe just maybe handing the garlic

too i don’t know i don’t i really cannot

lose that account

yeah they’re my big one they’re my big

special one

you know i just can’t i can’t stand to

lose that account

you know so i can’t i can’t

i do sense your level of desperation yes

it sounds like if you’re not no

supplying garlic to olive garden that

your life might be in shambles so i

and i don’t want to mess with that at

all i

already feel really guilty talking about

it so much

no i’m fine i’m fine but i’ll do

anything

to make a sale yo can you sound

you are sounding a little bit more

frantic the more uh-huh

talk about it not me is there

are let me you know if i can

just real quick i just want to get some

assurance here

are you okay uh-huh as good as a garlic

salesperson could be

you know i’m not just a salesperson i’m

actually the territory manager to the

southwest

wow it’s a big deal i sell i move a lot

of garlic every year

how many peops you’re a manager how many

people do you have under you uh

well i say that i have people under me

but what i really mean is my cat

i count her as an employee i think it’s

fun and cute

and sometimes when i zoom with my boss i

hold her up in front of the camera

and we laugh so much um

but yeah so that’s that’s it i just

manage i manage my cat

it’s unofficial but we have fun i mean

is your cat involved in the garlic

process in any way do you use the cat

or is it just a joke i take her with me

on calls

okay i think that counts then i have a

special purse that i zipper into and

it’s really fun because it has leg holes

and a head hole and a tail hole

but then it has handles on top so i just

can pick her up and just kind of put her

over my shoulder and just take her with

me

whenever i’m on the go you know slinging

that garlic trying to make sales

that’s really cute and your purse is

probably full of garlic as well

nope well yes and no not the cat purse

cats really don’t do well with garlic

they often die

after ingesting it so on my left side i

have my cat i i meant to say

ingesting but maybe i said injecting

cats will also die if you inject them

and i don’t really want to talk about

how i know that

because it’s very sad and also the

reason why i have a new cat

um i mean i keep is there like a

possibility that

having a garlic addiction might lead to

injecting it maybe it’s not as strong as

it used to be once you’re

sort of on it so frequently they’ve done

they’ve done studies garlic is not habit

forming i get that question a lot

it’s delicious but no you cannot be

addicted you cannot

they’ve done studies do you know anyone

who has injected garlic i guess is my

main question

i don’t know if it is appropriate for me

to divulge

my family’s story right now um

violation my cousin bruce i don’t think

it’s right for

me to talk about him it is not so much a

hippo violation but really part of our

garlic code of honor that i just

i just can’t violate right now forever

big on honor especially with all like

the your employees under you you want to

set a good example

for sure i can’t have this cat you know

in my purse on the left i can’t have her

being dishonorable

no we have to make the sale by any means

necessary

you’re talking very sort of

sort of casually using terminology that

you know

i’ll do anything to make a sale i’ll do

whatever it takes

um are you not you’re not familiar with

with terms that we use in the sales

world like make a sale

is that what no that you can are you

confused because of the boating thing

cameron said

uh yeah

because i don’t think i’m not trying to

make a boat sale but i will have to if

that will get me

a s-a-l-e you’re just trying to sell a

boatload

of garlic yes by any means necessary by

any means necessary

you two are so that’s the part that

really really got me

because you know people i i have worked

with some sales people before

and the by any means necessary was you

know usually you just cut your losses at

a certain point

but um could you give me an example of

the any means necessary that you’ve gone

through are you talking

just about like you’ll like a discount

or or what do you mean

instance with olive garden how did you

get that um

you know that client well um

i knew the local olive garden manager

he um his name was devin

devin and i went to high school together

one night i

came into olive garden and i think that

garlic is such a good product it sells

itself

except i’m really selling it so garlic

and i are selling it together

and i like to treat my sales meetings

like interviews

so i walked into olive garden with my

cat purse

on my left shoulder and i walked up to

the bar

and on the tile top of the bar i put

a clove of garlic and i said devin

i want you to sell me this clove of

garlic and i walked out

i walked out with the biggest commission

anyone had ever seen

so that’s what you meant by any means

necessary is that you’ll

you’ll like put a garlic leaf down on

the table

um it’s a clove first of all i think you

said leaf

right yeah that’s that’s a fully

different thing i don’t even sell the

leafs

my colleague chantal sells them but no i

am cloves

only cloves and bulbs um but yeah that

is one example of the links i have gone

to

to get garlic in the hands of the people

that need it wow

okay so yeah it sounds like they they

just kind of needed a

garlic supplier and that’s and you were

right there and that’s probably what

made it work

sometimes things work out everything

happens for a reason

yes and do you have any other clients

or is that just sort of the only one

while i’m working on a big one tonight

i would love to have your endorsement

for garlic tonight what can i do to make

this happen i’ll do anything

to make the sale i’m gonna be i’m gonna

be honest and i feel like this is a

terrible negotiating tactic but i’m

gonna

cards on the table we do need a garlic

supplier

you aren’t supposed to no i’m just

saying i’m just saying it’s an option

i think they deserve to know that it is

an option

i don’t want to be the next olive garden

and just give in

our old our old and i also want to be

honest our old garlic

dealer our our garlic supplier was

kidnapped

yeah it’s i mean you you know the

business

yeah it’s a dangerous business yeah

whenever i say like i’m i’m i’ve been

familiar with

these marketing types i used to be

and then you know it it got to be

very very competitive and you know once

people start getting

shot down in the streets you start

rethinking

you know should i even be in the garlic

business at all and

because we aren’t we are just like we

use it

and that’s all we we don’t try to get

into all the selling business it’s

um you know it’s

people have different ways of dealing

with this in uh you know the 80s

the 70s and 80s and um for garlic i

don’t think that it’s

fair i i don’t know too problematic

yeah i actually i don’t want to get into

conspiracy stuff but i heard that the

cia

actually put out a bunch of garlic onto

the streets

like they’re the actual origin for it

but you know i don’t want to get into

those kind of conspiracies

but no i mean i get what you’re saying

like

i i like i mean okay

you talked about the benefits of garlic

can we talk about that a little bit

of course i would love to tell you all

the benefits of garlic but

um is it okay if i unzip my cat and just

let her kind of roam around

yeah that’s fine okay i’m gonna do that

look at her she’s so sweet what do you

think her name is

what do i think it is what do you think

i’m going to say winona writer

yes how did you know that

you are so smart i love selling garlic

when it just brings me into contact with

super smart people like you

oh yeah oh thank you yeah no i am pretty

bright

i am pretty brilliant uh london

what can i pull you aside for a second

yeah yeah yeah

okay so here darlene do you want to play

games on my phone

oh thank you yeah okay

um so this is an example of how we got

roped into this business the last time

it’s not safe and i you know i don’t

know that we need more garlic in our

lives maybe it’s time to just

there there are other foods out there

okay so you’re

you’re wanting our pizza crust to not

have

like a buttery garlic sauce spread on it

anymore

you want to go with garlic less pizza

crust

no more garlic bread which again i can’t

eat the bread so i’m just eating

butter and garlic that’s in my hands

yeah

look i know that that’s how you eat

um and that’s what you what you your

diet dictates

yeah but what i’m saying is that it’s

not i don’t know that it’s

safe you know what happened last time

you want you you will never have another

garlic palmer

the arnold palmer with garlic in it

that’s your favorite drink dr london i

can’t say that i

that i won’t because you know we we all

so i’ll sort of backslide sometimes

but what i’m saying is she’s using the

very aggressive

very um harsh techniques that always

work on you

with the the flattery and the relentless

flattery

yeah and uh i just feel like

i just wanted to make you aware of it

before we go into this okay okay

i’m aware yeah i don’t wanna you know

i’m you know i i wanna get be a better

like negotiator and then businessman

i get it thank you i appreciate it yeah

yeah yeah no problem

okay all right let’s get back okay all

right darlene how much for the garlic oh

no wow okay we’re getting we’re doing

this already huh

i just wanna i wanna know the price i

guess you know

your pitch this isn’t this is just to

know

kind of what your thing and for the

supply that

that that if we were hypothetically to

want to get back in the game

um what what kind of price we’re talking

uh well first of all i have some bad

news

cameron i beat your high score on flappy

bird here’s your phone back oh wow

you got 70 points i’m never going to be

able to beat that

i sure did i sure did i sure did

and my initials are in there now so

you’ll remember me forever

d.a.t darlene antoot that is me i have

one

full lappy bird um but as far as pricing

for the garlic

it is a very very reasonable 50 cents a

bulb if you want to

do more than 100 bulbs right now i can

knock that down to 30 cents a bulb well

um so so we’ve

we’ve been in the game before and we

know the price and we

like granted i know the market’s changed

a little bit by now but

um what i’m thinking is and cameron go

with me

that that that price is kind of that is

sky

high oh that’s so high we’re so poor

we’re so

poor we’re losers prices

oh that’s so expensive plus i don’t even

know if i want to

i don’t know if i want to get back in on

this um

this whole world uh because sure we have

old connections and sure we could

reconnect and we could really

get things going and that could maybe

you know be more profitable even than

the patreon at this point

uh the jock talking podcast yeah yeah

good luck on that but at the same time

i don’t there’s so much sacrifice what

are you trying to say you’ve been

talking for a long period of time and i

don’t know what you’re saying

so i just i’m i’m just well karen i’m

trying to put up a lot of hesitation

here

oh keep talking dr london

yeah so so just morally and ethically

we have to reconsider whether we even

want to be a part of this

game much less work it from you

someone who’s sure like family now

because you’ve been

talking to us for a bit but card

yeah that that is big for us um

anyway so so i’m just you know you know

our reservations and i can tell you that

we can probably get a better price if we

went to our well not our old

dealer because they our old dealer is a

kidnapper

yeah our old dealer’s kidnapper he’s got

a great pitch too

yeah and we have them over for for

christmas for thanksgiving

yeah um so anyway i just just so you

know that’s kind of what you’re

competing against and can you sweeten

the deal

with any of your by any means necessary

talk yep

yeah what do we get out of this wow

aside from garlic doctor london

you are you are such a tough negotiator

you were so tall i can’t believe how

tough you are it makes me jealous

i’m jealous now oh you’re too smart to

be jealous don’t be jealous

oh okay no wait no

so cameron cameron i think this is it

again i think what

i think we are going to go ahead and

close this deal

yes and um i can

leave these two cloves here and um

i’ll deliver the rest of it next week

wow i mean dr london we

did we how much should we commit to how

how much did we commit to

um i think it was a hundred bulbs at 30

cents each

and so did we just commit to a hundred

or do we order like a thousand

you did order a thousand you did

thank you for being here you’re so smart

thank you for reminding me of that

i completely forgot that we ordered a

thousand cameron that was smart of you

but

still thank you it’s the flattery thing

again

we talked her down didn’t we i do

it’s hard to tell the thing is it’s

these aggressive flattery techniques

that have brought so many people to ruin

so many families have been ruined by

this

and i just don’t i don’t want this to be

okay

here’s something to address um

there are rumors out there that the

the offspring of people who are let’s

say addicted to garlic

uh that they start out with an addiction

to garlic

is that and i i haven’t seen you know

a lot of clinical studies that really

reinforce that but

has that been a concern within your area

of the business

so when you say that you haven’t seen a

lot of clinical studies

to that really examine the

addiction the multi-generational

addiction of garlic

how many was that zero i think what you

meant to say was i’ve seen no studies

yeah wow yeah it’s okay

i’ve seen many studies there’s a case

study but a case okay

i’ve seen many studies that

show that garlic is safe and natural

and non-addictive and really just a

pleasant

healthy addition to many meals or just

one as a snack

just one bulb as a snack what about what

about the accusations

that a garlic addiction if you’re

pregnant leads to an extra stinky baby

okay that um that study

if you look at who actually funded that

that was funded by big oregano

so i don’t think that that is really a

credible study

when you look at where the money is

coming from and honestly

i’ve had a child and i eat a lot of

garlic and that baby was

savory if anything

okay that’s valid um

i can tell you get all these questions a

lot i do um maybe i should tell you a

story

about my own history with garlic

please yes yes when i get you started on

this garlic adventure

i love garlic so much and i love

meeting people like you who’ve become my

family so quickly

when i was younger i went out on a girls

night with two friends

and um i have kind of a limited diet

i mostly garlic and garlic based

products

and they happen to have whole roasted

garlic

on the menu i didn’t want to share so i

ended up essentially eating two

bulbs of whole roasted garlic and

that night i had a little bit of a

stomachache but that’s okay that’s how

garlic aids in your digestion it makes

you very very sick when you eat it in

large quantities

and kind of cleanses everything um so i

had a little bit of tummy troubles

and i went to bed um and then

my boyfriend came over uh he’s an ex now

so don’t even worry about that

uh my ex-boyfriend came over and

i had been releasing gas all night and

as soon as he opened the door

it was a studio apartment so my bed was

right by the door

he looked at me and he said what are you

cooking

because my fart smelled just like garlic

and if that doesn’t sell you i don’t

know what will

okay that was a good pitch that’s an

interesting pitch you did say this was

how you got like

interested in garlic but then you

started off by saying that you were

already only eating garlic

yeah so how long had you been only on

this like garlic diet

well i’ve added a couple more things to

my diet um a little bit more variety

like um i actually do low carb

and i have been eating a lot of cheese

steaks out of my hands

um a lot of french dips where i just dip

my hands that are holding meat into a

bowl of meat juice and i just eat that

wait see dr dr london was talk saying

that this was really weird that i do the

same thing but

this is a common thing all my friends do

he’s from the swamp land so he doesn’t

he doesn’t get it i guess this is

because i don’t normally latch onto

every diet trend you know if i

if i go to a friend’s house and they

don’t have any br you know they’ll have

say bratwurst or something and then they

don’t have any i’ll say do you have buns

for this

they will just shake their head no and

that’ll that’ll kind of be the end of it

it sounds like maybe i’m i’m just not

working enough on my own diet maybe

that’s maybe i’m the problem in this

um and maybe usually yeah

so i i guess you know now’s as

appropriate time

as any um when i was when i was younger

i had an experience with garlic myself

and it’s it’s kind of what gives me a

lot of reservations about it

i used to um now i

i’ve never been afraid of carbs so i you

know i had a bagel

toasted and i used to you know spread it

right there

yeah i don’t fear carbs so much as i

have a healthy respect for them

okay keep going okay

yeah so so i would um you so you you

fear carbs in the same way that you

would like fear god

it’s out of sort of a it’s it’s a sort

of like a reverence

no yeah absolutely and um when i go

to brunch i’m like hey keep that god

basket away from me right

am i right

yeah i guess i guess i don’t feel

i don’t quite feel the same but in any

case um

so i i was going to school

and you know peop this this is how some

of these things get um i was

i liked garlic a lot yeah and i was in

high school

and a lot of my friends were getting

into garlic and you know you see all the

commercials and stuff like

don’t do whatever and so so i get um

i i start going heavy with it like i i

have a bagel that i just

cover and like i spread the garlic on it

like butter

and along with butter and so so i eat

that and then

i get to school and like

you yeah i guess with with thanksgiving

dr london it’s okay

you reach a point where and this this

i i guess my rock bottom if we’re

man i did not think today was going to

go like this um but but i get to school

and i

i s i speak and

as i’m talking to someone i think whose

breath smells so bad

and i’m walking around dr london

and and it was my breath it was your

breath

yeah and so i you know that day i

decided like

maybe on top of your normal stink you’ve

got

extra garlicky stink that day that was

really sad i remember that day

yeah well because we all you know kind

of recognize our own odors usually but

this was a new one this was a scary one

this is one that i didn’t want to

perpetuate so i

i cut i mean not cold turkey you can’t

cut cold turkey obviously with no with

garlic

but i i got a new program and i

decreased it you know family was very

supportive

i got out of it um of course through the

podcast we made some connections and

kind of got back into the garlic biz

again

yeah so you were put on you went to a

rehab and got put on garlic down right

yeah that’s right yeah

and uh you know like and it’s

it’s very helpful you know these these

places do a lot of good uh

but you know even the the garlic down

has

some some benefits in any case so

i’m just a weekend user like i don’t

know i’m an addict

i think i’m doing pretty good i’m just

like a weekend guy you know

maybe on the weekends make some pizza

with some garlic on the crust

you know yeah lose the crust itself

just eat the garlic and the butter

and i mean you know you know like

vacations and holidays of course yeah

yeah

and you and the occasional week night

yeah of course i was gonna say

the weeknights you have declared

holidays and you’ll text me to make

i guess to document it as a holiday oh i

mean

if jimmy fallon’s on tv it’s a holiday

to me

i’ve said that for a really long time

yeah aggressively too yeah um

anyway so so i guess um as aggressive as

jimmy gets after

after a few yeah

yeah which is scary and intimidating

yeah we’ve heard the stories

but um so so i guess that brings me to

the fact that

i you know i’m hesitant to get back into

the game but

we did already do an informal agreement

yeah saying that are you trying i don’t

know what you’re getting at are you

saying that we should up our order to

2000.

i i think so yeah can we up our order to

2000.

do we get a discount absolutely except

you up it to 3 000 i’ll throw in the cat

oh wow does that do anything for you

i’ll throw in the cat

complimentary cat we get winona yes yes

you would get to keep her and and

i will throw in the cat purse it’s my

own design oh

wow what do you say what do you say i’ll

do anything to make a sale am i making

it for you no you won

come on you say you’ll do anything will

you will you

uh like do the dishes yes i’ll do it yes

i’ll do it i’ll do it

okay so if you can do the dishes at your

own house

is that it and my own house

yeah take our dishes to your house i

don’t want you doing them here

take your dishes to your house do the

dishes and then we’re just trying them

uh-huh

yeah and then what else i don’t i mean

will she kill someone for it do we want

it she doesn’t want to kill someone i’ve

never thought about it

before i’ve never had the option cameron

this is these aggressive

flattery helpful techniques that i

that’s why i got out of the game

she’s being so aggressive about it like

with the flattery and her helpfulness

and offering to clean stuff for us

no i’m asking that doctor like in

exchange for getting 3 000

we get stuff out of it too because

she’ll do anything for a sale

i’m asking do we want to kill someone i

don’t know

like you two no i you are so good at

whispering

so oh thank you thank you i’ve been

practicing

so um just like

i no don’t let cameron let’s not have

anyone killed i i don’t

know ethically i have reservations

yeah about killing people

i don’t know like but maybe just have

her wash your car

okay i guess that can be a decent

trade-off i mean i know part of your car

is gone

but the part that’s still there that you

haven’t converted into a boat for the

promotional purposes which now i get it

now i get that it was a part of your

sailing

thing yeah uh that because

the car is upside down oh that could be

something that our

our audience would really like uh uh

darlene would you be willing to kill

davey jones for us oh my gosh

yeah of course who is that yeah totally

i’ll totally do it

i’ll totally murder him in his sleep and

then i’ll leave a clove of garlic on his

body

davey jones doesn’t he live does he does

he live at the bottom of the ocean

i don’t know bob spongebob does that

oh but and he’s the only one

i don’t know i don’t i don’t keep up a

lot with uh

with people and you know this isn’t to

be

i don’t know uh prejudice or anything

but there are people from other

regions of the world such as under the

sea that i don’t

keep in contact with regularly but i

feel like i would understand them more

if i

was around them more well davey jones

his big breakout role was the second

pirates of the caribbean movie where he

had like

a squid beard or something or like a

squid face

and he was very mean to our friends

johnny depp

and um orlando bloom they’re your first

feelings about johnny depp at this point

but yes

yeah your friends yeah

well well they’re definitely kind of

friends is that an issue

no no it’s not an issue i just named my

cat

winona ryder so i would think that

it’s not an issue though it’s fine have

you ever kissed a guy with a squish

it’s wild have i what kiss a guy with a

squid beard

oh no i can’t say that i have it’s wild

i recommend it if you want me to i could

have one here in a half hour

squid beard boy i kissed someone who had

like

like horse hooves for mouths so not

really squiddy but it was more like

horse hooves

yeah that was interesting yeah well

tinder you kind of get that kind of

stuff there so it’s

um any case i so so i feel like we’re

we’re just about

done with the deal and i i we just we

just have these chores to do

um okay so let’s just finish it here

three thousand mm-hmm kill davey jones

do our dishes but at your house and

bring it at my house uh-huh great i’m

just drawing up the paperwork now

okay i mean all right i think this is

great all right you have the official

jock dock seal of approval you got the

stamp

i’m so happy to get this stamp it means

so much

that you trust me to deliver this garlic

to you

yeah it’s um it’s it’s a highly

competitive

not not unlike the the garlic uh

community

the the jock talk podcast uh stamp of

approval is

highly sought after and difficult to

obtain and but

i you know cards on the table you i feel

like you broke

each of us down completely and

we went through our addiction-ish anyway

so so

you know you kind of earned this and to

whatever extent

um but but we have to take care of these

chores and

uh right do you want me to explain what

you’re talking about

yeah yeah if you could uh so a while ago

we realized that we had been neglecting

a lot of chores a lot of things on our

to-do list

and so we put together this fun little

wheel that we call the chore wheel

and every week when we do the show we

spin it and whatever it lands on that is

the task that we have to do

just to knock it out and again one of

the reasons we’re

asking someone to do the dishes is

because we’ve yet to land on do the

dishes

and so it’s sort of just been piling up

and piling up and molding and

there’s a lot to make it easier on us

yeah yeah there’s a lot of dish stink so

sort of as stinky as a baby born from a

garlic addict

um allegedly savory uh-huh uh-huh yeah

allegedly a very savory smell

um so uh darlene can you go ahead

and give the wheel a bit of a spin oh

i’ll do you one better i’m gonna hold up

winona and she’s gonna spin it with her

little paw

go ahead noni

ah not this one oh dang no i didn’t

i should have i should have expected

this to happen really but yeah i knew

this was going to happen one day

i mean it’s on the list so of course

it’s on the list it’s on so

yeah so it says of course um

it’s part of and it is odd that our last

few have kind of been

the spring cleaning sort of theme

but uh this this one says we

read through journals and clean out old

mindsets and thought patterns

so uh i get it’s kind of like spring

cleaning

like with the dishes because people do

that every spring

but instead of doing the dishes it’s

like doing the dishes of your mind

through the journals that you’ve written

and so

we everything that’s unhealthy that

we’ve written down we we

throw out and replace it with it a good

mindset a good thought pattern

okay do you wanna you wanna give us a

show us how that sounds dr london

yeah and so and i should also say like

there is a sticky note on here

and i don’t know it’s very odd

considering that this is all at random

but it does say

and try to relate it to st patrick’s day

so we have to relate our like mental

health

improvements to st patrick’s day somehow

it says

try i don’t okay yeah i mean it’s a

chore i

i don’t i’m really wondering what the

the day

someone wrote that down and i can’t

recognize the handwriting anyway

um yeah so let me just uh

take out my journal and so this is from

uh you know we’re trying to get rid of

old thought patterns bad you know

unhealthy ways of thinking and doing

things

so this is from a bad time in my life

yeah so let me just uh

woke up today

ate a bagel

not in everything bagel no this one

this one had garlic oh this hurts to

here

uh-huh

i tell people that i spread it like

butter

because that makes it you know relatable

to butter and that’s that’s that’s

relatable

but really it’s a mountain sometimes i

throw out the bagel all together

and i just take spoonfuls handfuls

i eat the garlic as is minster not

cloves going keep going this is almost

there this is all my life

this is every this is all of me and

that’s how i want it to be and if ever

someday comes

whenever i try to give up this

to call it a habit almost makes it sound

negative

if anyone tries to persuade me that this

is not the life i want to live

i can spit garlic in their face

and deny that because this is the best

i’ve ever felt

wow anyway so so that’s kind of kind of

in the depths of your addiction dr

london

yeah i and honestly and you know

i don’t even remember writing that you

were probably blacked out on garlic

that’s what i’m saying because because i

don’t remember

using that much garlic um

can i just say i found that highly

erotic and yes i

did complete if you know what i mean i

thought that was great

thank you for sharing yeah

wow i guess thank you um and normally

whenever i

it does bring in a new element

for why you’re in this business i guess

but in any case um yes i

it’s good to share and because that that

way i can get past

this so normally i don’t pick up these

journals and read them later

i’m kind of always looking ahead i mean

can we just ask

real quick since it was brought up

darlene do you are you sexually involved

with

garlic what how how dare you

what no i would never no

i have no idea what that means um

me too i don’t know uh-uh not me

not me and garlic not me in a clove

or a ball or two bulbs have you ever

made out with two bulbs of garlic

huh no not never lips

look cameron’s had experience with the

hooves it’s you know we’ve all we’ve all

had these

moments in our dating lives in our

relationships where

maybe we do things that we

looking back we aren’t as it doesn’t

look as favorable but

uh did you say favorable or flavorable

now i said favorable but

flavorable i suppose also applies

strongly to this

um but any case uh

for for me i do want to because because

i

i feel like we might be on about to hear

something

a little bit more from from darlene but

for me i want to say

i’ve gotten past that mindset and

thought pattern and now

i don’t um i want to let can

cameron handle most of the business with

this garlic going forward if yeah yeah i

can i can deal with the garlic stuff

that’s fine i deal with most

of the things on the show yeah yeah just

because i feel like this

is um i would have to to compromise a

lot of my

resolutions that i made but dr london so

what are you doing

to to flip the script on on these things

you’re struggling with right isn’t this

the point the point of this is like

cleaning out

yeah so honestly i thought that

saying that you were in charge of all

that stuff now would be it but

it sounds like that’s not satisfactory

so i guess

going forward maybe um i’m gonna have

okay so my problem in that journal entry

was

i was throwing away the bagel and

eating only the garlic so now i’m gonna

throw away all the garlic and eat only

bagels

that’s i think that’s a great

improvement i hate this i

i opposite if completed when you said

that

i’m yeah i’m sorry to hear that i’m back

at zero now

if you know what i mean i was at plus

one

it’s pretty sad try as the sahara

if you want to get graphic yes okay so

anyway i

i feel like you know i’ve shared and

maybe

darlene if you wouldn’t mind sharing um

yeah i’d love to

maybe yeah yeah um

just when i’m done just let me know if

either of you completes during this

i just want to know yeah i’m pretty

confident that i won’t so i’m going to

say that up front

um but you know if i’m taken by surprise

i will let you know if i’m taking my

surprise i think you’ll hear

if i like if i react a certain way

um but well

i i guess we’ll see well i think that’s

pretty confident but

i guess we’ll see all right here we go

march 17 2011.

today was unseasonably warm i wore a

green shirt

and green umbros and green shoes as i

walked proudly down the street

i walked past that frat house swamp

lands too

excuse me no sorry i didn’t mean to

interrupt you must be from the

swamplands too because you’re wearing

green and doing all those things

if you are interrupting i’m going to

assume you’re interrupting to tell me

you’re completing

and oh i’m sorry i apologize that is the

rule

that is the right interrupt again

okay um walking down the street i walked

past

that terrible frat house the pie bettas

they looked at me and they started

screaming things like

hey toot you smell like a salami

and one of them threw a cup of green

beer at me and i was glad that i was

already wearing all green because if i

was wearing a white shirt

it would get green and also kind of

see-through

and i didn’t want that

so another one of them frat boys

didn’t throw green beer at me but also

said that i smelled like a salami

and soon the whole lot of them were

chanting salameh

salame and i ran home

crying

wow that sounds like a really tough

experience it was awful

yeah and i no i’m just just thinking of

bagels um so whenever they talk to you

about salami

uh is that because that’s a dish that

you like

i think it’s because i had eaten a lot

of garlic the night before

and it was kind of radiating out of my

pores and giving me a salami salami-like

odor yeah yeah yeah whenever i think of

uh sorry if this sounds you know

insensitive but

uh garlic breath uh whenever i have that

then yeah most people say oh is there

salamis in here

yeah someone calls you salami boy i have

to ask when i was reading that did

either of

you no bagels strong thoughts

yes the whole time no i like you had

said the opposite of that

that’s sort of that’s kind of it’s fully

up in my body is basically what i did

for my

own self-confidence i’m going to

pretend it was the opposite of that okay

so it sounds like that’s her

form of spring cleaning is pretending

that we really really really enjoyed

that story

great so cameron do you want to share

your well i mean i guess i’ll go ahead

and read mine

which is um march 17th

uh 1986. i

go out on the town and my brownest of

brown poo colored

shirt with my brownest of brown poo

colored baseball cap

of course you wear the baseball cap

backwards as is tradition on st

patrick’s day

and i took my little jackrabbit down

to the spaghetti restaurant because

that’s of course that’s where everyone

meets and eats it’s a you know it’s a

holiday of spaghetti

um and uh

i ate so much spaghetti that i uh

sort of uh puked spaghetti goo

everywhere

and that was really embarrassing that’s

what my journal entry says

yeah um okay so and i hate myself

because of it i think about it every

single day

i want to die so

what part of that do you think is making

you want to die making you hate yourself

my stomach hurts still

every time i eat like a gigantic amount

of spaghetti my stomach hurts so bad

so do you think that maybe going forward

you could try

not eating giant amounts of spaghetti

you should replace it with giant amounts

of garlic mmm

i like that that is interesting

it’s healing properties

yeah i can commit to that what kind of

healing properties

like my foot’s been broken for like a

year is that going to help this

yes absolutely garlic is an osteoretic

which means it

uh grows bones back that’ll help wow

yeah that’s awesome sure

in any case um we can we can go ahead

and take

down the chore wheel uh now we’ve got um

do you just want to shoot it well i i

don’t have a wrecking ball

okay yeah just use the wrecking ball

yeah just go ahead that’s easier because

that’s gravity

dylan can you pull the wrecking ball

crank and to destroy the chore wheel

this week

yes winona watch out oh my god the cat

no no no oh god oh

oh she’s so flat and bloody it’s so

bad oh god

[Music]

i didn’t really want a cat anyway i’m

going to be completely honest and it

winona hates you so maybe this is for

the best

i think everything happens for a reason

right yes

yeah everything happens for a reason

you’re super wise you’re super wise and

that’s what i love about you that was a

quick recovery well um

so that feels like a good time to kind

of wrap things up i feel like we’ve

um you know resolved some of our well at

least one of us has

resolved an issue no i guess a lot of us

so anyway um thank you uh darlene

toot for for being on the podcast thank

you for being on jack talk podcast

is there any way for listeners to keep

up with you of course just go to the

website garlic.com backslash raw

and search for my name darlene2 and

don’t forget

i’ll do anything to make a sale

i guess that yeah yeah uh don’t forget

to subscribe to our

john tech podcast patreon yes and

this month i believe we’re going to be

giving out some of

dr lund london’s dreams

he has these recurring dreams and he’s

gonna he can give them to you so he’ll

never dream it again and they’re yours

to keep

we’re gonna add a tear just for that and

it’s tough because

uh i used to keep a dream journal but

now i’m not

i can’t do that anymore because they are

given away no yes so we’re

and we’re doing um you know we’re not

giving them pieces of the journal we’re

making a cgi

video of your dream yeah

and uh you know it’s it’s a high

production cost and

part of the deal is once i i can’t

relive any of it i’m not allowed to see

this stuff

yeah i’m not allowed to to have my own

personal record of it

uh these are my dreams that i can i can

no longer access they are for

you the listener so uh enjoy those

um anyway thank you uh to cameron our

producer

for um really angling this towards the

strong nautical theme i

like that that the strong nautical theme

we’ve been

pushing throughout uh thank you

DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

did you do in the hose

oh hello hello ahoy ahoy ahoy my name is

darlene toot

thank you for having me on i am a

territory manager

to the southwest for garlic and i’ll do

anything to make a sale

i’ll do anything to make the sale

[Music]

i’ll do anything to make

oh my gosh yeah of course who is that

yeah totally i’ll totally do it

i’ll totally murder him in his sleep and

then i’ll leave a clove of garlic on his

body

because my fart smelled just like garlic

because my fart smelled

[Music]

my name is dr London Smith (.com) and this

has been the jock doc podcast ahoy