Hey kids you’re about to listen to a comedy

podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice if you need medical advice or

medical care please contact your doctor

welcome to yet another episode of the

jock doc podcast we are proud to be part of the

koala cola podcast network

it takes okay really am i gonna have to

say this every single episode

yes wait for real yes okay

it tastes just like down under

introducing your host

dr london smith hello and welcome to the

jock doc podcast

part of the koala cola network where we

discuss fitness and health

and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host Dr. London Smith (.com) i’d like

to begin by apologizing to our listeners

we’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as intraductal papillary mucinous

neoplasm

and peter piper picked a peck of pickled

peppers so i’ll try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron oh hey dr london

hey

okay is this is this new energy for the

um you know for this reason

the sponsor i i shall well i mean i do

i’m obligated to say that yes i always

have a positive attitude and a positive

outlook on koala cola tastes just like

down under yes

it tastes just like there’s no there’s

no question about that thank you

crampy the koala um no i’m just i’m just

uh

i’m just in a good mood today i i

believe today is my lucky day

like i always hear about that like

people saying like oh it’s my lucky day

and i was like i don’t

i don’t know when mine is

and so but i think it’s today dr london

so when you won the lottery

yeah no but see here’s the thing about

that is that

if i stop that money for a long

well if i if that money had lasted

longer

i would have considered that lucky okay

yeah so the

300 million dollars you did squander it

pretty quickly

and it brought so many fake friends yeah

just everyone friends

yeah but you know that was maybe one of

the least lucky days i’ve ever had

no today was more like um so i’ve been

eating out of this hole lately

and it’s not just like it’s not like

it’s not like meals but just like snacks

that i’m eating out of this hole

um but so i was doing that today and you

know what i found in there not just the

normal snacks that sometimes i find on

there but i found a dime

i found a lucky dime but of course i

don’t think that’s serious i’m not

a superstitious person i don’t think

just because i found a

dime in my eating hole that i am going

to have just like the best day ever

but then later i’m crossing the street

and this car almost hits me swerves hits

another car instead

wow a miracle i guess is what you’re

calling that yeah

i mean it’s amazing and then like i was

i almost fell into like the ravine

earlier i’m sorry did you

did you call anyone after you saw that

first cause i know you were i saw the

live feed that you had of it and you

were saying like oh man

this this car wreck it’s crazy who

who would i call about so emergency

services

no that’s who i would call who would i

call about i’m calling 911 just to talk

or

talk about my lucky day no i mean

whenever you saw the car accident the

miracle

that you you live streamed for everyone

and you were saying like wow look at how

crazy this wreck is and people were you

know bleeding out and there was

it blew up uh was there any

was there any thought in your mind like

maybe i should call

no th this miracle is about me it’s not

about

other people yeah okay this is my

miracle

okay i guess that’s i almost fell into a

ravine

um but i didn’t which was great

um okay which that was like the second

thing and then

the um third thing was that my

dad he and so he was eaten out of this

hole

and then he found a nickel which is

probably not as good

but that’s three things can’t be a

coincidence dr london this is my lucky

day this is gonna be the best day of my

life

okay and okay yeah it just so for a lot

of people like they think that

winning the lottery would really do it

for them but for you it’s the day that

you watched

uh six people die and you

narrowly avoided uh getting killed

multiple times

just falling into a ravine yeah yeah and

that you

well yeah i stood i so you know for

for a while when i was standing under

that piano that was hanging by a crane

yeah and i was like throwing tennis

balls at it just trying to like bounce

it off the bottom of it

yeah just for fun yeah i i

moved right out of the way like there

was there was like a person in my way

and so i was like move and so like i

shoved them to get out of the way

because i was trying to get

further in the line at the hotdog cart

and

it fell on that person that i showed

instead of on me

and so i’m like okay this has to be my

lucky day

okay yeah so was it seven deaths that

you

okay um okay yeah so so your lucky day

okay and i guess so this is i guess

now i’m a little bit apprehensive

because if if so many people near you

died

you think i’m taking up all the luck and

so you’re not gonna have any luck for

yourself

just like the bare minimum amount of

luck where i don’t get killed over it

but yeah uh

anyway but i’m sure you know i i’m not

really that superstitious of a person um

so so i get it’d be dumb for me to put

my stock in yeah

and this so uh yeah we’ll we’ll go ahead

and move on i shot this

rocket off right so i’ve been messing

around with these rockets lately and so

i shot this little rocket off

and it landed on my house and then the

hole it burned in the roof was only like

this big dr london

you can’t see it on the podcast but it’s

very small yeah

and so that’s a miracle dr london

that says how lucky i am okay

yeah i guess you know seeing the the

nice the positive aspects of things is

always

it’s always a good thing so um anyway so

that’s our producer cameron

also with us is dj dylan in da house

[Music]

this is gonna be the best

[Music]

this is gonna be the best this is gonna

be the best day of my life

[Music]

this is gonna be the best

[Music]

[Music]

this is gonna be the best

[Music]

and later cameron tells us that we can

expect a special guest

that’s right dr london all right so look

forward to that um but before we move on

i would like to address a bit of

listener feedback

so one lucky koala coke enthusiasts

scraped off enough of a

of the paint label from a koala cola

cans

to send it in for a chance uh at some

medical advice on the podcast

so it’s a million paint

scrapings scraping or a pound a pound of

paint scrapings from

the koala cola cans definitely don’t

you know consume the paint scrapings in

any

form no which and you know

we should go ahead and say right now i

think it’s worth saying that um

uh there’s no koala in koala there’s no

bits of animal parts

so people keep bringing this up they

keep saying that if you bring

the more you bring this up the more

we’re convinced that there’s

koala in koala cola but that’s the

opposite because we’re saying

there is no koalas in koala cola

no so to walk away from that and think

well now it sounds like there must be

koalas in koala that’s the

that doesn’t make sense that’s that’s

illogical it’s the opposite of what it’s

supposed to be

yeah and it’s you know it is one of

those lessons where people just try to

hear what they want to hear

and uh i don’t know why these sick

people want to hear that there are

animal parts in there yeah

if that’s part of your diet that’s fine

that’s fine you do you i don’t know what

it’s like in australia i don’t know if

you just hunt

koalas and just eat them for sport no

idea

but i can tell you that there’s none in

this delicious delicious cola that

tastes just like down

under it tastes just like down under

thank you crampy

okay um yeah anyway so that was just

something i wanted to note real quick um

so anyway so for the the note from that

that lucky listener

that lucky uh consumer of koala cola

they said uh casey this is your aunt

please call me

end quote okay okay

so i guess we can just talk to do i

guess we’re talking straight to casey’s

aunt here

yeah i was gonna say like i guess this

is kind of like at the grocery store

where

you know if you’re a little kid and

you’d lose your parents then you just go

up and you ask them to say on the

loudspeaker uh

you know they’re at the front so in this

case i would say

you’re saying there’s probably like a

few food lions around the country that

are

that are playing our podcast yeah yeah

and so

if you know casey um i i know you’re in

one of these food lines so if you could

go ahead

and call your aunt that’d be

that’d be great um i’m really glad that

uh your aunts took the time to scrape

off so many labels from cans

send in a pound of those and uh to get

the word out so

anyway thank you so much for reaching

out and uh for being the lucky winner

of that that competition for kuala kola

and you’re actually doing that with all

of your patients right all of your

patients sort of have to win

their way into your office yeah that’s

right so it’s

i mean it’s one of those things where

you know people say like oh i barely get

any face time with a doctor i only get

five ten minutes

uh so for me with the system i’ve

developed over time and it’s just

experience

uh you’ll you’ll have patients who

there’s so many of them and it if you

can just get them

to scrape off the aluminum

scrape off the lead paint scrape off the

you know whatever

um send that in through a formal

system then it really streamlines the

process

of right providing medical care so

um and that’s that’s just you’ve had

you’ve had to turn people away who have

come

with sort of medical ailments and but

they don’t have the scrapings

yeah they’ll say like i’m insured yeah

so

i and i can pay you cash if you need

that and i’m like well there’s

you know i appreciate it but you know

it’s a formal office visit yeah

well it’s just not the you know you have

the proper channels so

if you really cared you’d be prepared

when you showed up

you know what i mean yeah if you care

about your health yeah yeah

yes yeah so i i’m sorry i’m sorry to no

yeah i’m sorry

i just it’s just it’s it’s the

healthcare industry at large and like i

get that it’s

kind of a broken system but this is sort

of just where we’re at

this is how it functions so um you know

we some people are for universal

healthcare i’m saying that

sure if it fixes this problem

i’m all for it if it’ll solve the

problem people having to

enter into a cola australian cola

contest in order to reach me

sure yeah but i don’t see that happening

in the short term

so let’s let’s work with what we got um

any case uh to this listener thank you

for listening

uh now for today’s medical topic primary

sclerosing cholingitis

primary sclerosing cholingitis along

with some of the other topics that we’ve

been covering

is a cause of liver cirrhosis so primary

growth and cholangitis is a chronic

idiopathic progressive disease the bile

ducts

characterized by thickening of the bile

ducts and narrowing of their lumens

so uh it can lead to cirrhosis portal

hypertension

and liver failure and for those who

aren’t aware of the anatomy it’s

the liver uh sends out some bile to

the the gallbladder um or if you don’t

have a gallbladder then it just sends it

out

uh you know through the bile ducts and

to the digestive tract and the blood

them

and so uh this uh primary sclerosing

cholangitis

messes with that that system the bile

duct wall there’s a strong association

with ulcerative colitis

and you know irritable bowel diseases

and it’s important to note that even if

you do a colectomy for ulcerative

colitis the primary sclerosing

cholangitis will remain unaffected by

such

treatment so you fix one problem it

doesn’t fix this one

so your job is useless yes so so my job

isn’t usually to to do the colectomy uh

but

i i guess you are getting a spoiler on

treatment um

but but first is that just doctors like

just in general

so it doesn’t really even really matter

if people come to you with all these

can scrapings because it’s sort of

you’re just gonna say there’s nothing we

can do

uh it it depends no matter what little

girl comes in and she says

i’ve got i’ve got a i’ve got a scraped

knee

and you say there’s nothing we can do

you have six months

is that right it’s it’s not you know it

depends on the scrape knee it depends on

all that like i i can’t tell you

specifically in part because you haven’t

collected the

scrapings cameron so right yeah it’s not

i can’t be giving out free advice which

you can’t do that’s

illegal great contractually i can’t no

no especially not with koala cola now is

being our network

um clinically patients may present

first with ulcerative colitis to the

extent that ulcerative colitis

it just dominates the clinical picture

however chronic cholestasis findings

will emerge including

jaundice and pruritus and that’s

jaundice is the yellowing of the skin

and

and the square of the eyes and then

pureitis is the the itching

that’s they they’re itching from the

bile buildup uh

from the bilirubin so all patients

eventually present with chronic

obstructive jaundice

they may also experience fatigue malaise

and weight loss

uh laboratory studies can show elevated

alkaline phosphatase which is typical

for biliary disease

along with elevated ggtp and bilirubin

level however

bilirubin level can be normal in early

disease so

once again to emphasize the ulcerative

colitis might be

what you present with which is you know

blood and pain and

poop um and again let’s let’s go ahead

and stress that if you’re if you’re

having any of these sort of like

symptoms or anything like that there’s

nothing

your doctor can do they can’t help you

um and so don’t i mean there’s no reason

this is more about learning for an

educational purpose like just to

just to know what’s currently ravishing

your body so so diagnostic

testing includes mrcp or ercp uh ercp

being the most accurate uh which will

reveal beating narrowing or strictures

in the biliary system

and that’s the classic beads on a string

appearance uh

which you know all of our med student

listeners who are

the children is who it’s marketed to but

the up and coming medical students

um uh they’ll they’ll you know look for

that on tests potentially um

mrcp and that’s like an mri

when you see that in a patient patient

comes in they’re sweating a lot you see

the beads of sweat

you say i’m sorry there’s nothing i can

do i’m so sorry there is absolutely

nothing i could do you have six months

to live

yeah and that is that is a classic line

from doctors

you have six months to live but

sometimes it’s less um

in case uh mrcp is uh generally done

because there’s no therapeutic need for

ercp

uh of note because it’s not gonna do

anything anyway because as we we’re

confirming

over and over again in this medical

lesson doctors don’t do anything there’s

nothing they can do

the only thing thing they can do is tell

you you have six months to live

so uh of note primary sclerosing

cholangitis is the only cause of

cirrhosis for which a biopsy is

not the most accurate test so that’s it

all ends up being irrelevant anyway

because no matter how detailed and

accurate the test is

the only response and conclusion you can

come to as a doctor

is i’m so sorry about that

about your that your liver hurts so bad

right now there’s nothing we can do

you have six months okay so the

treatment so

so there there is no effective treatment

for primary sclerosing cholangitis apart

apart from liver transplant that may be

required um

treatment is symptomatic for the

pueritis with

close stellar amine and osteoporosis

with

calcium bisphosphonates and vitamin d uh

ursa dialysatoic acid may slow the

progression of the disease but

this is i for whatever reason i don’t

know how you

really guessed this one but yeah we

don’t have the

transplant transplant is the treatment

how was i able to guess that doctors

don’t do anything and that it’s

all just a big scam and it’s a failure

hmm i wonder how i was able to guess

that okay

it tastes just like down under okay

thank you

i i don’t i don’t like that you and

crampy seem to have some sort of a deal

where he bails you out

anytime there’s an uncomfortable

situation you’re presented with

sort of a difficult scenario suddenly

crampy just is i mean he’s he’s yelling

i was gonna say like we can just

seems like you’ve talked about this uh

oh me and crampy

look this just crampy’s here to just

make sure everything’s great

everyone’s happy are you are you guys

hanging out like outside of the podcast

without me

like just just youtube

it’s not personal it’s just we have a

lot more business stuff to talk about

so it’s um oh okay it’s just business

i mean it’s not just business but like

that’s how we the tax whenever we

it’s tax deductible because uh because

we do

at some point in the conversation

business stuff is mentioned

but it’s what what’s what’s tax

deductible well the i mean

what are the expenses well i mean for

one thing the

the the elaborate meals the um the shows

we’ve been to

the uh i mean to make a list so

we we’ve whenever we fly to conferences

um

the uh koala cola jock talk podcast

show um that we the theater that sorry

the stadium that we sold

out um he and i you know managed that

um that was okay okay that’s fine

that’s fine good yeah i i don’t see why

it wouldn’t be

no just it’s it’s it’s uh

there’s no i can’t i don’t have feelings

so they can’t be hurt

great i once like i don’t really see so

it’s just business it’s just business we

just

talk so i couldn’t don’t even don’t even

know how to respond to that because

i don’t have feelings i’m not a i’m not

a real human apparently and i don’t

have real friends who i people who don’t

invite me to

um fly on a private jet to a conference

apparently i’m just not

but okay and i should clarify it wasn’t

a private jet

because like we did share the jet with a

few other celebrities so

like it was private in a sense but like

it was shared like it wasn’t just us on

the jet if that’s right it was private

and also an amazing

networking opportunity huh yeah just i

mean like

just just paul mccartney bono just a few

of the

um potential clients so but it’s not

like i don’t want you to

take it as like a weird exclusive thing

no yeah no it’s just you y’all

you you want to hang out with all these

people and not with other people

that’s fine for business i like i don’t

know how to put it anymore clearly just

it’s that’s the way of it it’s fine dj

dylan and i

are we’re going to the beach later so

nope okay i i mean if it’s

if it’s personal then i’m gonna teach me

how to surf

that sounds very so it’s it’s not gonna

be like last time

whatever yeah uh because you you

you were learning to boogie board last

time

and also you forgot you didn’t bring a

boogie board but you thought like i’ll

figure it out

yeah yeah and then i sort of was i guess

i i sort of thought that the idea of a

boogie board is that you’re boogieing so

you’re

you’re sort of dancing yeah and i

thought well i don’t need a board to do

that i can do that by myself and you all

said yeah i did for a real long time

yeah

and you also didn’t go to the beach for

it either

oh no god though i would never yeah okay

anyway

oh i mean i am i definitely am with dj

dylan

okay we can move on from there if that’s

all right like i don’t wanna i guess

dwell on it seems to be troubling you

for i cannot

tell why

hi uh so cameron i know you know i i

sense that things are kind of

tense but um i’m nice on tim’s it’s my

lucky day it’s my lucky day

i’m lucky that my friends are partying

without me

it tastes just like donut and the

conference is so fun

hey hey let’s um i think that cameron’s

dealing with something private i don’t

know

um in any case uh so you

you we have a guest today is that right

we do have a guest dr london we have a

fantastic

guest top 10 material

okay because so so last week we had

donald glover

yeah on the podcast and so i’m assuming

you’re

it’s on the same level of whatever it’s

uh

i think you know there’s a lot of

context involved you know what i mean

like

um whoever the most famous hacky sack

player is to people who play hacky sack

professionally that person’s probably

like their michael jordan right

so to them that’s like the biggest

celebrity

but maybe if you’re not into hacky sack

and you’re more into

devil sticks then you might not know

that guy as well

okay so so you’re saying like just

famous depending on which crowds you run

with okay

exactly okay so um anyway hello there my

name is dr londonsmith.com and this is

our producer cameron and what was your

name

hey guys this is a huge honor for me

i just want to thank you my name is mike

okay hey mike what uh

what brings you to the show i love your

energy you’re just like

you’re already in it totally i listened

to your podcast back when it was on the

casey anthony network

wow that was a long time ago

so long ago yeah and then you guys

disappeared i didn’t know where you went

oh if it if it wasn’t on that network

you didn’t know where to find your

podcast totally that’s the only

is the only place i know to look yeah

that makes sense well i mean thank you

for coming on the show

totally in my circles people know me as

magic mike because i grow

mushrooms so

so okay and i i get this okay so cameron

whenever you were you were trying to

downplay it but we got magic mike on

this week

totally and don’t don’t think i’m the

guy that gets naked

and princess around the stage for the

ladies okay

i impressed ladies in a different way

yeah

i impress them with my mushrooms yeah

you don’t have pants on i will say

no right now well you didn’t tell me

this was a pants only podcast sorry that

did you know that’s not the rule yeah

did you know that in the email dr london

that’s not no it’s one of those um

so and you you weren’t on the plane okay

so um

we with with a certain level of

celebrity stardom

and with whenever you rise this level of

prestige you start to

sort of expand what you’re open to and i

know that you were

very you were saying that we should all

you know wear

clothes you said that we shall wear

tarps on top of our

regular clothes um you you just kept

saying modest is hottest

but you said i think you said that so

many times that

it was becoming very kind of

uncomfortable like you were really into

modesty

modest is hottest yeah i love wear more

don’t be a [ __ ]

wow well you know i thought because it’s

just us guys

i could just wear my box of briefs i

i’ve got

kind of like an ingrown hair situation

on the inside of

my knees so i’m trying to air it wow you

know what i’m saying

yes yeah i mean medically the best yeah

to say it’s in

it’s very long for being ingrown like

it’s it must be ingrown and also

outgrown because you it’s sticking out

of the bottom of your yeah it’s like a

half season

situation yeah totally well guys you

know i’m here yeah what brings you

yeah what brings you here i’m here to

tell you about what i do

i grow mushrooms like i said also known

as mushies shrooms blue meanies

golden tops liberty caps philosophers

stones

liberties armani and agaric

whoa i are you sure those are the only

names for

like isn’t that like uh

what is it silo cybin or something oh

yes very good i knew the doctor was

gonna

bring up posilicibin pecilic ibn

is the compound found in psychedelics

specifically magic mushrooms

it’s bacillocarbon is classified as a

schedule one drug meaning that

it has a high potential for misuse and

has no

currently accepted medical use in

treatment in the united states which i

think is a missed opportunity

yeah i mean do you i mean surely there

must be some sort of

medical benefit to mushrooms right i

mean

well your brain is freaking out so

surely that’s got to do something yeah

it’s like it’s like when you’re working

out you’re lifting weights

your muscles hurt after because they’re

freaking out

but that’s how they grow and that’s how

the brain works too

okay so i mean i know there aren’t it’s

not a first-line drug

for sure but there are you know some

some experiments going on some some

clinical trials going on for uh

uh i get what’s more commonly known as

shrooms

but that that sort of compound um

and they’re being used for maybe ptsd i

think as

as a you know the third line or you know

everything else has failed how do we

help these people

uh does is that what what you’re about

or is it

because it sounds the way you describe

it it sounds maybe you’re more into the

recreational side

exactly but if the cops ask you no

but if i you ask me i tell you

i grow them in my apartment in my

bedroom

and my favorite thing when i bring home

a girl to

you know take mushrooms

well and it may be i don’t only

bring home girls who do mushrooms but

when i do

what else do you bring i sell it to them

full price

you know doctor a little hanky pranky

i i guess i don’t fall so um it’s like a

it’s like a

it’s like a dance okay and you have to

have a girl to do that

no you need the birds and the bees

oh so now we’re bringing okay animals

and okay so um

i guess i guess i just don’t follow but

um okay wait how about this

cameron can we just talk just me you for

a second

yeah i’m really sorry doctor london he

talked about a little

on this past episode but he he’s

currently dating someone right now he’s

dating

krampus kardashian okay which is pretty

a pretty big deal but i think it’s just

for publicity like i’m pretty sure it’s

a pr relationship

really that happens i think krampus is

the hottest

one it’s i mean

don’t get me wrong like her she’s an

a-list celeb like her her beauty line

her makeup line her hooves like these

are all iconic things

yeah but i just don’t i don’t know

i don’t think dr london knows about a

lot of

things like sex does he not do sex does

this guy not get laid

cameron i am gonna like

again he’s gonna pretend like he does

he’s not gonna know what that word means

but he’s gonna he’s gonna immediately

say

yes because he doesn’t want to feel left

out okay let’s go

let’s go ask him where babies come from

see what he says it’s i

really i’m not exactly sure if he’s

gonna know uh doctor come back come back

yeah yeah yeah yeah put down your phone

dr lon well no

it’s this actually really cool thing

like i i’m glad you

you know had me do this while you guys

are talking about whatever

because it’s a like a continuing medical

education game so you can actually like

practice clearing out stuff from the

lungs

um you know like like you would actually

do in a procedure dr london do you know

where

do you know where uh little babies come

from yeah siberia

no no no not just little babies sorry

not just they’re also tigers they come

from siberia they’re

i’m sorry to not list everything but it

was a specific question

where do human american babies come from

ooh okay no that’s good um

well i mean like i’m just trying to

think through it

through the immigration channels um

this guy doesn’t know how to do

something that’s we’re gonna have to say

tim and krampus kardashian are having a

real relationship i’m just saying

wait hold on i know it’s not polite to

kiss and tell but have you and krampus

[ __ ] i guess i don’t so i i want to

clarify something here so

we weren’t the first in people in this

country

um and so you had you we had to bring

people

in uh like they were they were natives

but like

but generally like i’m one of the people

who immigrated and so everyone

from yeah this is if you want more

people it’s not an immigration thing you

seem to have gone back to the

immigration

thing but well so if you want more

people

you you bring in more people i don’t see

what’s

it’s they don’t have to be happy this is

like they can be from

mike i i uh sweden mike i appreciate you

trying to help this

he it’s never going to work it’s never

going to be uganda get into his skull

but regard mozambique how did this guy

get

go through medical school and he never

took basic

human health medical school i think was

like a blog i don’t think it exists

anymore but i think it was mostly just a

blog that he was like a moderator

i would say hold on i know basic human

health so

um you want to keep a high vegetable

diet you want to go low meats because

actually

i don’t know if you’re aware of this but

like a heart attack

we can’t go into what dr london thinks

people should eat

i okay mike okay we’re talking about i

mean mike you are

something of a doctor yourself it sounds

like because you’re

it sounds like it because yeah cause at

least i know what pain

and vagine is okay dr london do you have

a birthday

oh that’s a good question um on me

do you celebrate the day of your

birthday yes yeah

you had my christmas if you had a

birthday i would know about it right

uh i don’t tell you ever you know what

okay uh now crampy i don’t want you to

to spill the beans on any of this stuff

because i know we’ve talked but i don’t

want

um i know his birthday

no hey um so i i don’t

i’m not interest i didn’t say i was

interested okay

uh so so i’m you know i’m not always

considered to be a religious person so i

don’t celebrate every

specific tradition like this um

so if uh but like i have so much respect

for the cultures that do

so birthdays are not a religious

holiday it’s the day you came out of

your mother’s vagina

uh and once again so like and i don’t

know if that’s

is that buddhist or hind so it’s great

it’s so great that you have this and i

love it and

if you have this celebration i would

love to be a part

um and just whichever way you i’ll have

to read up on it

to know how to to to do so from my my

cultural perspective but my world view

but i

um i there’s gonna there’s gonna be a

learning process on my part is all i’m

saying

so uh but i’m so excited to learn yeah

my mike i promise you we can keep

hammering this

it’s never it is never going to get into

his brain i think it’s he’s blocked it

off

this is crazy all right i’ll leave it

alone

i just really wanted to try and get to

the bottom of it

but it doesn’t sound like we’re gonna is

there a bottom to a

bottomless well just a just a hole that

keeps on going

i you know it’s just it’s well

it’s not like the hole that i’ve been

eating out of lately yeah i want to

clarify that

like i really i’m so it’s fine if

if you believe in that stuff and i don’t

want to be

i don’t want to sound like i’m being

overbearing or critical it’s like i

think it’s great

it’s just not my personal thing like

voting

politically i will vote for that for for

you’d have the right to celebrate the

the bar but i

personally oh my god yeah no i mean yeah

dr london no one’s trying to take you

down you’re not being canceled for

for not knowing what your birthday is

it’s okay well

anyway i’m here to talk about my zine

i have a zine on mushrooms coming out oh

magic mike’s magic mushrooms this is

a limousine or a um it’s like a magazine

okay it’s like amazing but it’s made

using a home printer okay

okay so yeah it’s just like a series of

like paper

pieces of paper that you’re stapling

together which is functionally

a magazine yeah so what exactly but

what’s in it i mean are you

is it just pictures of mushrooms or are

you talking about your favorite

mushrooms or

what’s going on in it it’s like

some poetry about my mushrooms

oh there’s stuff

by about your mushrooms is this poetry

describing

what your mushrooms are or is this like

poetry you’ve written while

taking mushrooms both let me read one

okay

yeah dear mike tyson

you’re my favorite shroom my little

golden top

my knockout guy every time i eat you

you knock me out just like

mike tyson would if we

weren’t about oh wow

it even rhymed yeah yeah at the end

there it did

but so it is is there like a a type of

mushroom that’s called mike tyson or is

this something you’ve named a mushroom

it’s just one of my baby little

mushrooms okay this is your personal

name

you saw this mushroom and you’re like oh

yeah that’s mike tyson

yeah yeah yeah well i i named him that

after i ate him and he knocked me in the

wall

what are the what are the other names

though

well i got mike tyson i got agatha

christie

i got my fairy godmother

i got lady liberty i want to hear it

i want to hear with agatha christie you

say that you you name the mike tyson one

because it

you know punches you out just like mike

tyson would what does the agatha

christie one do

i just never know how she’s gonna turn

out are these

the names of i guess the strains of

mushrooms or is this each one you eat

them and then

yeah they’re strains and i me i make

them together

and then i eat their children and then i

decide

how their children makes me feel yeah i

get the christie’s a toss up

every time you take her you’re like i

don’t know how this is gonna

run so it’s like it’s like a mystery

yeah

okay but whereas the lady liberty

feels like a maybe like a gift from

france or is that

no it’s just very freeing

and sometimes you hear bells

like the liberty bell wow and i can

imagine like the medical

properties of something like that of

finally being able to hear bells all the

time

yeah it wouldn’t be the first drug that

that does that

so really yeah yeah it’s there

there are some things that can cause

tinnitus i i don’t want to steal your

thunder

uh because it’s actually it’s sometimes

seen as a

as a negative like that’s that’s not

seen as the most helpful thing

but um maybe that’s it’s not okay you

you sound very

you don’t like unsure now like is that

not like it just it to me

it sounds like a parade okay i feel like

i’m at a parade then i i get happy

okay so so whatever you take you take it

and you’re

you’re hearing this ringing noise in

your ears what you’re thinking is

it’s a it’s a parade granted people are

celebrating me yeah i get that yeah

i i sometimes i eat a shroom and i’m

like i don’t know who that was

and then i hear bells and i’m like oh

lady liberty i feel so free

okay wow so what else so is it just

poems is that the only thing in this

magazine

and sometimes i will press my mushrooms

in a book like a like a

pressed flower oh yeah and i’ll tuck

them in there you can eat them or you

can

plant them up to you okay

i i feel like you need more in a

magazine i’m just gonna throw that out

there

no you don’t i’m sorry have you started

releasing these already did you say or

are they gonna be my first one comes out

this

may may 2021 okay

i don’t know which day it’s a surprise

okay because

so so today it’s i believe it’s may 24th

so you’ve really only got a couple days

left yeah

maybe i’ll do tomorrow what’s tomorrow

may

may 25th okay okay so that’s what it’ll

be i’ll finish it tonight i’ll pull an

all-nighter and i’ll release it tomorrow

perfect great so well so so we asked

more just because

we assumed that you were kind of sad you

could

if you have criticisms like maybe maybe

there’s some validity to what cameron

was saying about the length of it and

the content yeah no i just

i think there could be a larger

variety of things well you could take

the week to maybe

flesh out something maybe we can help

you this is one thing i’m

i’m getting out here okay

well i why don’t you two do a poem

about the first time we were trying to

avoid here was the poem thing because we

felt like that was pretty covered

but you think that instead of another

poem we should do a ska

song yes that’s what i was going to uh

suggest next so i would love to have a

scott song in my head

[Music]

um

[Music]

so does that need lyrics or is that good

on its own i think that’s pretty good

and i think we can it takes just light

down under

sort of like those cards that you open

up and it says something you could

probably put that in the magazine

oh like a pop-up yeah like page three is

this song

yeah not no yeah not a pop-up like the

song is

is popping up in your ear but it should

have a pop-up as well

i think that’s that’s true like opens up

the the microchip whatever plays the

music

and then it also uh has a pop-up of

um i don’t know maybe maybe a mushroom

or

yeah oh right because you could have the

mushrooms in there so the pop-up would

be just a mushroom

in it so that’s pretty cool what if we

put like a tamagotchi in there

the that’s really good the licensing

might be tricky

um would you be willing to settle for a

giga patch

yeah sure the kitty cat one would be

great okay

okay well here’s here’s one one issue

that you might run into is also

costs like i’m wondering how many of

these uh

limits magazines are you trying to put

out is it

i think like 12 would be good

okay so okay do you have like customers

yet like have you sold this

to anyone i have 18 followers on

instagram

at magic mike’s magic mushrooms

okay well then i yeah i guess i’ve never

talked there okay that’s that’s way more

than we

yeah that’s man gosh um

okay i don’t know i don’t know why we’re

teaching you here it sounds like you’ve

really got it

um totally let me know like okay so

we’ve got the pop-up we’ve got the song

you’ve got the following you’ve got the

following clearly you’ve got the fan

base

yeah um and then we’ve got the poems

i mean there’s okay i’ve got something

here

what so and this is

people don’t know about this but i’ve

heard this joke

and i don’t know i don’t know how to

work it in but maybe you say

mike tyson is a fun guy

because and i’m sorry let me explain it

because that because this is science

so um well you know mushrooms are

actually he’s a bit of a controversial

figure

obviously he does have fun you know he

was on the hangover and things like that

but he seems to be known i mean for

anger issues abuse allegations i mean i

i don’t know if if he really is that fun

of a guy

so so in the context of what i was

saying it would actually be

in reference to the mushroom it’s a

mushroom joke dude

so shrimp so so i need to explain it so

mushrooms are in the um the grouping

of fungi fungus that’s type of

fungal thing so whenever you call it

what do you call mike tyson the mushroom

you call that mushroom a fun guy yeah i

know this is hard so you call that a fun

guy

to work this out maybe it would work

better

i get the christie i get the christie’s

a fun guy now agatha christie parties so

that i get more

yeah so she can [ __ ] rage

agatha christie huge party

okay just definitely a [ __ ] guy we

had mike tyson on that flight and mike

tyson was actually really

deep um and like really fun

you’re friends with mike tyson now

i mean a business association i guess we

haven’t talked we talked about those

earlier in the year but your

your new friends now that you find

celebrity

your your previous friend was the guy

who was fired from snl

for being racist and now it’s mike tyson

i don’t like these are bad influences

on you when they’re honestly he doesn’t

even

oh he wasn’t actually on an episode he

got fired he got hired and fired within

like a 24-hour period

oh i remember this now that was crazy

dude

london and him they we have private jets

all the time together and they’re on a

words with

friends group yeah i i will say like so

with that

guy we don’t we don’t even like we don’t

actually hang it like it’s just business

it’s just business yeah you’re just

you’re just like financially involved

with him yeah it’s not like a social

thing

no i because because that some of the

stuff that guy says i’m like whoa

okay not not my cup of tea um but no me

and mike tyson

he’s barely made any you know attempts

at my ears

so sure anyway we’re talking about mike

tyson a lot

i guess we should put that in the

magazine so maybe you’ve got your poem

about mike tyson

maybe you do like an entire spread of

just pictures of him boxing that’ll take

up like four or five pages

totally because right now we’re just

trying to fill we’re trying to make

content so anything

goes well you know what i’ll figure it

out you guys this is

i want to hear about you guys and your

experience with

mushrooms oh oh boy

um well i mean i i can talk about my

first

the first um yeah

so i i was i don’t know i was probably

um i want to say first in first grade

um and we you know when you’re having a

pizza party

you you sort of assume that every pizza

especially when you’re dealing with

kids that age is probably going to be

just pepperoni

or cheese maybe sausage or something

like that

um but i you know i didn’t realize what

i was what i was grabbing and it turned

out to be a

it had had pepperoni and mushrooms on it

and did you like have visuals or like

what oh yeah he well i’m sorry i don’t

want to speak for you but

oh yeah i mean i blacked out i blacked

out entirely oh

yeah dude just out like a light the

second i had that

pizza mushroom yeah because you had

gotten hit in the head that

at that point right you’re you’re taking

the bite and then a ball came out of

nowhere and hit you in the head and you

were out

yeah the guy who was mugging me had

thrown a baseball at my head to try to

knock me out yeah he’s pickpocketers man

have you two known each other since

first grade

no i’ve read his memoir yeah he read my

memoir

um i think dr london transferred to

the the vet clinic that we were living

at when i was

maybe second grade wow yeah

cute um just

i mean uh once again like most of what i

know about cameron is from his book

yeah uh so it’s oh yeah i mean we didn’t

even talk until we made this podcast

no we refused to talk yeah uh that was

that was pointed

um as anyway for my first experience

with uh

you know shrooms um so i had uh

it was like yourself it was a little bit

later in life it wasn’t as early uh but

i you know i was a teenager and um

we were having uh you know bee

stroganoff and you know

it’s made with of course beef and like

pasta and there were some

shrooms in there so it was kind of wild

uh i

ate it and then um like felt really full

afterwards and then took a nap

oh no that’s great

that’s like thanksgiving

i should clarify like it was cooked with

the mushrooms but i actually i don’t i

don’t really eat mushrooms so i ate

around it but like i

the the flav the the infusion from the

mushrooms for sure got

yeah like man it hit me ugh so

uh anyways that’s that’s how we were

super relatable on this

totally i feel like i’ve known you guys

my whole life dude like i love

this what we got going right now

yeah you you know you would love this

private plane we’ve got going

like we get we invite all these um

celebrities on there like oh we got well

we already said i would imagine

letting mike tyson try the the mushroom

version well i mean but there has to be

a seat available dr london right i mean

you kind of implied that there wasn’t a

free seat so

you know oh i don’t need a seat i could

just like sit on the ground or whatever

on somebody’s lap

for a business associate like it’d be

fine like this magazine actually sounds

really good and it sounds like

something really relatable and sounds

like you’re gonna bring a lot of

viewpoints with your um

uh whatever with the whatever that dance

whenever you bring a girl over a thing

that you’re talking about

oh yeah so uh i bet you could talk to to

all the other guys about that

like it’d be great so yeah there’s um

there’s plenty of room for for business

associates sure totally if you guys need

like a stripper on the plane too

i could do that i could like dance all

around the plane okay okay

so maybe when you had said earlier that

you’re not the stripper magic mike

you’re like no i’m just i’m just

paintless because it’s just guys here

yeah but you also do enjoy stripping

yeah totally oh my god i love it

i love it especially bachelorette

parties

oh okay so people are paying you to

strip

yes sometimes yeah okay i kind of am a

guy who does a lot of odd jobs and

that’s one of my

jobs pretty odd huh yeah jack off old

trades yeah

you know i i would say i think it’s

you know your birthdays your jobs

whatever

i think it’s fine and i once i will

vote accordingly like i think i think

it’s very okay that you

have worked yeah this job no one was

saying otherwise dr london again you

were you were not going to be fired from

this podcast because

someone mentioned

i i don’t actually don’t know what’s

going on in your head dr london

no there’s there’s a mention that like

you said it’s okay

that that that’s their job yeah i was

just gonna say of course like

of course that’s okay and also it’s okay

to have a

whatever crazy birthday thing whatever

like it’s all fine just because it’s

different from me culturally

uh like i don’t i don’t know that i’ve

ever been paid to strip now i’ve

checked no no i’ve never been paid no i

haven’t been paid for that no

well any sort of transaction is payment

dr london

it doesn’t have to just be cash

like if i you and i shake hands

we one person paid the other for a

handshake

with a handshake okay

i guess yeah then maybe i’ve a little

bit but anyway

you know we we’ve all had to pay for

whatever medical school stuff whatever

way

um it’s but let’s talk about so

so you’ve you’ve done some some

stripping work then totally

i mean if a girl calls me and it’s like

hey mike i got this bachelorette party

can you bring shrooms and i’m like yeah

of course i can and i can bring you a

little something extra

and then she says okay whatever and then

i show

up i have a boom box

and i just turn it on and

usually it’s creep from radiohead

comes on and do they let you into the

house at this point

yeah i’m like hey ladies i i’m the

shroom guy i got the shrooms and of

course they let me in they

asked for that yeah and then

that much yeah they asked for that much

and then i turn on creep

by radiohead and i start to cry and

when i start to cry they all go oh

mike what are you what’s wrong and then

i’m like

fooled yeah and then i i changed the

song and then it’s

barrel barrel barrel barrel

you know what’s that song it’s a sexy

song

bro yeah that’s the one

so is that it yeah and then they’re like

oh you got us

mike and i’m like i’m here to strip for

you is that okay and they say

yeah and then okay you get consent

that’s yeah i guess

and then i just do it i i body roll i

worm

now that you mention it okay i have i’ve

definitely

done my share of stripping then because

i have also shown up to places where i

was supposed to bring something

and then i have also set up a boom box

right and started playing

music and doing the work i have also

started doing the worm

um and uh you know like

those times the most recent one was like

uh there’s a kidney transplant and i was

it was me bringing the kidney

and so i’m yeah so i’m you know

we’re in the or whatever and i’m like

hey got it uh

and i’m like hey and i got something

extra for you too oh

your job is just like scrubs it’s just

like scrubs

yeah so i’m doing the worm like anyway

that’s it just

it’s so crazy how our jobs are so

similar yeah

i mean i told you i feel like we have a

lot in common

yeah you you grow mushrooms and try to

put out a mushroom magazine and also are

a stripper

yeah and i’m a doctor who it’s and so

i mean who does a podcast isn’t that not

the same thing her podcast is this

magazine

his podcast is this his podcast is

a magazine totally that’s me and

you know listen you guys it’s a zine i

only said magazines so dr london would

understand right

sorry they’re way cooler than magazines

because they’re smaller

they’re less professional looking and

they’re made at home

it implies uh that it’s diy

it limousines are longer

yeah that’s that’s common misconception

so limousines

uh we’re talking about zines so

limousines are actually the longer

version of a car

yeah so that might be a point of

confusion for you there

uh i know you said they’re they’re

shorter sorry about this dr london is

just learning about some of these words

that

limousine was part of our lessons this

week cameron

be honest how’s this guy’s bedside

manner

it’s gotta be out of ten what would you

rate it

oh well you know he’s kind of fussy when

i start reading the book at his bedside

um but by the time he quite quiets down

and and finally falls asleep

he’s great he’s out the whole night oh

that’s very sweet

you read him do you read him a book to

fall asleep

i love that yeah harry potter

right which i and by the way harry

potter you know in that world i think

you know

their beliefs are their beliefs and i

think it’s great

uh and i you know that that’s just

dr london yeah you’re you’re fine you’re

okay

you are so stressed right now you calm

down are you starting to sound more and

more like a christian

are you a christian dr london

yeah and so so we all have these

different things that we kind of

put our beliefs in and so you may

celebrate this i may celebrate that

so for me though um just i’m this is i’m

being professional

which means that i am not allowed to

believe in anything

except for medicine i always suffer

medicine and also contractually

via koala cola we are not allowed to um

to claim any particular uh

faith or belief well we do believe in

the great taste

of koala cola which is a big part of it

tastes just like down under it tastes

just like down under

thank you thank you crappy so but i do

about the zines i love you you do make a

good point because you hear magazine

you’re like oh

is this am i i’m just flipping through

gq and it’s so professional

but a zine you know that it was made by

a person while they were stoned

you know that it like the paper that it

was on cost them too much money to make

and is also still just terrible quality

somehow yeah you guys

and you know that they got their friends

to doodle in it some

and that that’s supposed to mean

something to you these are all amazing

things

yeah and it’s very underground it’s very

cool and

yeah in the basement yeah

okay so it it sounds you know it sounds

really fun it sounds like you’ve really

got some

some uh you know different segments

different new points hopefully to bring

in thanks to you um

yeah so we’ve really expanded this out

yeah i would like

uh maybe some royalties from this how

much are you selling per mag

and i was thinking like 43 cents

oh okay yeah that sounds sustainable for

the 12

you’re gonna sell yeah i wanted 43 cents

total so whatever 43 divided by 12 is

that’s how many cents each oh wow 43

divided by 12.

so you’re you’re just it’s 12 okay so

it’s 12

total oh sorry it’s 48

total for all 12 copies of the magazine

40.

okay all your buddies are like going in

on it together okay this is one of those

things

they teach you this and you know in med

school how to do this quick so that’s

um that does come out to be 3.583

repeating threes perfect you can write

me a check for that right

i’d say go ahead and round that up maybe

so it’s three point

five nine cents so can we run into

that are you trying to sell us so one of

one of the 12 copies is for us

no i’m just one well you sure i guess i

could give you one but

i’m just wondering how people will pay

me 3.59

cents do they have to write me a check

uh well i think if you do you take

crypto

hell yeah brother yeah okay so if i can

i’ll send you some litecoins okay yeah

we can’t afford to send bitcoin no

oh god no no not even like that value of

bitcoin it’s too expensive to just work

with

so we we only deal in litecoin and

even that um we’re trying to move away

from that and into

koala coin perfect joint

get hit me up on robin hood give me

three cents of koala coin

and 3.5 9.59 and i will send you a zine

okay that sounds great yeah well uh

before i want to

i want to say something here a lot of

people have talked about

um the environmental aspect and impact

of cryptocurrencies but i do want to say

for koala coin which is owned by

koala cola no koalas were killed in the

making of these digital coins

oh yeah i i should there’s been

lots of online rumors that the servers

are

powered by a machine that has fed koalas

as sort of a fuel

and that’s abs that is absurd that is

ridiculous

just because the koala population drops

very suddenly at peak hours of factory

work

yeah just just because it’s climate

change it’s climate change and frankly

i think that the lesson here is like we

need to give to green energy

we need to really go green we really

need to go green and we need to

stop accusing koala cola of all these

things that they clearly didn’t do

and also maybe like maybe stop checking

up so much on the qualicol

factories because like these guys

they’re busy great

they’re great oh yeah busy as well but

it’s going to say like we can vouch for

them they’re great

we can legally contra actually have to

vouch for them so

yeah we’re just just sorry i’m really

sorry about it but yeah if we can

uh i i i’m trying to say i want to

subscribe to your zine is

as well yeah that’s that’s what that was

thank you i knew you two were gonna be

cool and i wanna i wanna maybe put the

jock doc

podcast seal of approval on it as well

yeah endorsement i mean is that an issue

i think he is basically a doctor dr

london

yeah because we know the medical

advantages of

getting shroomed up pacilla kyben

exact see that’s medicine talk yeah

yeah no i you know having talked about

maybe

you know uh magic mike you joining us

for these these plane rides and for um

you know going on this private jet i

feel like we could really

um talk things out make some real you

know do some networking make some

connections

that’s i think our seal of approval is

the least of what we can do for this

i feel like we you know we’ve kind of

made some progress on this

so if you wouldn’t mind uh magic mike i

feel like it’s about time to

uh work on our chores it’s just

you know it’s one of these things where

you you keep putting it off but

we we have to get these chores done yeah

for

for maybe our listeners who haven’t

haven’t listened in a while

or maybe you’re a new listener uh

basically dr london

and i have been neglecting our chores

neglecting our to-do list for a really

really long time

like we i mean we haven’t been doing the

dishes we haven’t been doing our laundry

the trash has sort of attracting bats

um which is not yet not great um

we haven’t even drained the moat we

haven’t drained them out in

months and i know someone’s living down

there

yeah i was gonna say like the gators and

crocodiles are obviously fine but it’s

the um

it’s the amount of uh stragglers the all

the people that get stuck in there

because who who gets in trouble for that

that’s us that’s our liability yeah

people don’t know that but your home

insurance

doesn’t cover things like someone

getting hurt in your mouth

yeah it’s frustrating and so we created

this really cool

chore wheel which is this big wheel that

has all of our thousands of chores on it

that we’ve got to get done

and every week we spin it and whatever

it lands on we have to do that chore

even if we don’t want to thousands

thousands yeah we’re way behind on on

everything

we get we get hundreds of new chores a

day yeah and the pace we’re going at one

a week is not

catching up at all and things

keep getting stacked higher and higher

it’s really

any case uh so magic mike would you mind

giving the

the chore wheel a spin and you can do it

i don’t know if you want to

play your boombox song for it if that’ll

help you

get into it i’m just going to sing a

couple lines

okay i’m a creep

[Music]

you’re making yourself tear up and cry i

know

god at least you two are cool i know i

can cry in front

and sing in front of you yeah it’s just

you felt really touched by your you

singing that

what i love also is that you know you

did bring out the boombox

but it’s you played the acapella version

yeah of you singing it that’s my style

baby that’s magic mike

all right let’s spin this wheel

oh no what did i get

uh well it’s just one of the many things

we don’t really want to

have to do but um and cameron i feel

like you’re not gonna

there’s now i can see how you might feel

left out for this one

um well yeah so it yeah of course it

says

um design your

dream private jet interior

so um so cameron i guess if you

it’s hard for me to picture what a

private jet because i haven’t been on

just because

the there’s all the seats have been

taken like you were saying right now

well i mean i like to put my feet up but

i was gonna say like i can’t see a

reason why you would be on a private jet

in the first place

oh i could never even imagine myself

doing that or anything like that

couldn’t i don’t know um yep but uh

i guess i guess i’ll go first um uh i

get so i already kind of have the setup

that i like

to some extent oh okay so you’ve yeah

you’ve done this before then i mean i’ve

uh i like i had a say in

in what we were working with whenever i

designed it

um sorry i didn’t i didn’t design all of

it like there were certain regulations

like how many seats and one is like a

shared thing right don’t you own

it with other celebs yeah i mean it was

the

jock talk podcast patreon really that

that paid for it but

right um no we definitely the celebs

really appreciate riding with us

um so i’m with us meaning me and uh

crampy yeah so

crampy koala that is so anyway uh

so for one thing of course what any good

uh private jet’s gonna have

is the seats are all those

giant hand style seats um

and you know to up it a little bit to

make it fancier you of course

uh each of the fingers can bend back a

little bit yeah so you can you can

recline

uh the head as well as the full the full

hand

not to tell you what to do at all but

think about this

fingerless gloves oh

[ __ ] okay no just

it’s it’s kind of funny because it it’s

almost like you think you know what a

private jet is like

i no no no look i’m not trying to speak

like yeah out of mind oh yeah it’s funny

it’s funny that you think that

yeah no i mean this is out of my

wheelchair it’s above my paint grade

but just i would just think it would be

cool you know

kind of kind of fingerless gloves

they’re so cool

i wear them any time i put on my

nightmare before christmas t-shirt

yeah and yeah i just i know i just

thought they would be cool

i don’t know but i i’ve never been on a

private plane so i don’t know yeah i

don’t know

yeah no and it’s it’s so it’s so funny

that you think that that would be

appropriate

so um anyway a little bit like so

yeah so snacks good okay i i don’t wanna

i don’t wanna cut you off here but i

i feel like you’re gonna you’re gonna

throw in another thing that doesn’t

really make sense

oh no maybe chips or something would be

people like chips

that’s cute

[Laughter]

oh no i was just kidding oh i was just

joking

you definitely would wouldn’t give out

chips on the

the private plane no i guess

oh you’ve you’ve flown commercial before

yeah okay that that makes

um so no so on a private jet of course

for

for my private jet at least uh we have

uh shrimp

grilled shrimp and so normally on a

normal jet you couldn’t have freshly

grilled you can

you know have it put everything on the

grill right there but of course for

private jet you can that’s that’s not

that’s not a huge thing

to manage so we do have the all the

grilled shrimp there and that’s that’s

the main thing and the people who are

allergic to that

um aren’t invited they aren’t invited

yeah

uh yeah and so that’s the main thing and

then of course the music

is uh very

honestly the the oddest coincidence

today but it is

um an acapella version of uh creep by

radiohead um it’s not magic mike’s

although i am excited to put that on the

rotation

uh it’s the version from the the social

network

trailer where it’s like a kid’s choir

yeah i was just gonna recommend that

i love that one it makes me cry

instantly

oh gosh you’re tearing up again mike

here get get mike some kleenex yeah

oh just little kids singing about being

little

creeps oh just it touches your heart

so it does alternate between that

version and

crampy had i mean you you all know from

crampy cola their publicity campaign

crampy also sings uh crampy’s own

version of it

anyway um so so it alternates between

those two versions and then

in terms of the lighting it’s only laser

lights

so you walk on and there’s no like

spotlight there’s no regular lights

there’s only laser lights

and uh it can it could kind of make it

tough to to

to navigate but it also kind of makes it

fun to navigate

so because i’m a cramp

cramp yeah uh koala cola

why the hell am i drinking something

that’s not koala cola

this drink doesn’t belong here

i’m really surprised do you know about

that

that’s actually kidding me right now i

know it’s just

i don’t know what it is if it’s the note

progression or

what okay so um magic mike do you have a

you know what’s your ideal private jet

i’d like i’m sorry you’re gonna have to

work with our

vision and for ours but if you were to

personalize your own private job i would

want the whole jet to be an aquarium

so like okay you have to wear you’re

basically scuba diving the whole time

you’re in the air you got an oxygen

tank that makes sense and there’s fish

and there’s one shark

one snake oh okay

are they is it a nice shark and a nice

snake are they

are they mean it’s a toss-up oh you

don’t even know

no part of the fun

okay so so one of them is going to be

nice

it may be so is it a different

shark in a different snake each time you

ride on the plane or is that their

their moods change a lot it it’s a

different shark and a different

pl a different snake because you don’t

want that to be the whole life you know

just oh yeah it’s just flying back and

forth yeah

travel is so exhausting oh they would

hate that

yeah yeah so that’s what i would want

okay is it so it’s is it just full of

water or is it like

like is there salt water but do you have

like a little castle or something

like uh like a real aquarium or like uh

oh yeah we could do a little aquarium

castle

little sea grass or oh yeah would your

would your ideal private plane be able

to

i guess i guess just if you have a

powerful enough engine

then it would be able to take off even

while filled with water

uh yeah but only if you’ve got like two

people in there

okay so you understand this issue

okay okay so and i would guess that if

you don’t

like if you have more than two people on

there you can just go ahead and

keep it on the ground and have it a

private plane party without taking off

at all

i love that you don’t have to go

anywhere also i would like there to be a

little

mold just to add character in there

you know my guess is that there will be

mold regardless of

whether you try to make there be mold or

not good um

kind of a fun guy yeah just a little fun

guy over here she’s fun it’s a guy who’s

fun so the guy’s having a good time so

that’s why you would call him a fun guy

a fun guy it’s a fun so i’m sorry to

interrupt sorry

yeah sorry but uh i think so i think

magic mike is finished with explaining

oh his part um so it’s your i feel

embarrassed

i feel embarrassed now because i feel

like everything i suggest like the crazy

hypothetical that you

that you would have access like be able

to look inside one

yeah yeah or look at a picture of one i

i couldn’t even

yeah like you that part of austin powers

whenever they’re on a plane

uh on a private jet you you weren’t

allowed to watch that yeah you cut it

out

because on the vhs you physically cut

the tape of that scene

that’s right and so it just jumps from

but i mean so i guess in my plane i mean

i hope it’s not too

like weird or whatever i i guess just

comfortable seats and

that’s so cute

i’m gonna play this song it’d be cool to

like if everyone got a pillow

or maybe maybe like a

drink of their choice alcoholic beverage

if they want or maybe a coffee or tea

to eat maybe like a meal

okay maybe they oh man that was good

sorry you keep going keep going if you

got more that’s just

you know i mean like you know it’d be

cool if

you know it there was maybe someone who

came down and picked up the trash

after you’re done with your your meal

this guy’s are you a comedian

uh no i mean i’m a podcast producer

primarily i

you know i do consider myself to have a

decent sense of humor

um but you know it’s it i’ve never

thought that before today

but this is something here yeah

um and i guess like you could i just you

could take this on the road i just

found your voice and it’s going to have

to be on the road of course because you

you’re not going to travel by air i know

that much mostly i just want to be able

to get to where i’m going

safely so i can i can see my friends and

family

to go back wow

all right anyway so that’s um i think

that’s the last of the chores if we want

to call that a proper answer i guess we

can

um so magic mike if you want to go ahead

and um go ahead and burn

the chore wheel alive um

yeah you’re gonna go ahead and um yeah

there’s a

there’s a furnace there and um it’s

gonna scream

but you’re gonna go ahead and just uh

you’re gonna close that furnace

all right i’ve made lobster before i can

handle this

yeah yeah but you’re gonna what i’m

saying is you’re gonna want to close the

furnace before the screams get

like very audible okay

okay it went well

great i feel like we’ve we’ve learned so

much about you magic mike if you could

uh

just share with uh our listeners how did

people keep up with you after this

okay i’m a big fan of this other new

podcast called

the stoner chicks podcast

okay i love stoners i love chicks it’s a

podcast

uh about stoner chicks well it’s a

cannabis

comedy podcast

okay that’s okay that’s that’s a whole

new

i’m glad i’m glad it wasn’t based on

shrooms

or mushroom things because i feel like

we’ve exhausted that topic completely so

this is

totally it’s okay four ladies they’re

all comics

from seattle slash new mexico

oh yeah the seattle slash new mexico

scene

yeah that’s what constantly having to go

back and forth that drive

kills people well they’ve they’ve

thought of

um opening up the borders you know in a

very real level right then uh yeah i

hope

to go to new mexico without a passport

sometimes

yeah just like they’ve joined those so

much okay

so yeah you can find them on instagram

at stonerchickspodcast or on twitter at

stonerchickspod

or on facebook.comtonerchicks69420

okay so there’s that i don’t i don’t

i don’t understand that the numerical

aspect like oh i’m trying to do the math

here

you never will doc you never will okay

it’s all right dr lyndon it’s like a

it’s a math joke you’re not a math guy

you’re a science guy

uh i felt like i was following the math

but it was like once they got to the

i don’t know what 69 anyway uh that’s i

guess it sounds nice

but um it’s a reference it’s a reference

to the ariana grande song

3435. okay

if you add it together okay um

all right well uh anyway thank you so

much to uh magic mike for being on the

podcast

thank you to uh our producer cameron uh

thank you to

uh crampy koalas it tastes just like down unduh

thank you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

dear mike tyson damn i am my favorite

little golden