Hey kids you’re you’re about to listen

to a comedy podcast that means that none

of this is medical advice if you need

medical advice or medical care please

God touch your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London Smith sit back grab

your lunch and enjoy it while listening

to the sweet sweet sounds of dusty

London and his pals introducing your

host dr. London Smith hello and welcome

to the jock doc podcast where we discuss

fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring I’m

your host dr. London smith.com I’d like

to begin by apologizing to our listeners

we have received some feedback about

this excessive amount of technical

medical terms that I’ve been using such

as progressive multifocal

leukoencephalopathy and Cinco de Mayo so

I will try to temper my terminology to a

simpler one in the future here to help

with that is our producer Cameron hey

dr. London what do you call a dinosaur

that’s sleeping I know I sleep asaurus

rex or a rocket ship

oh that’s wait that’s the wrong that’s

the wrong popsicle stick I think I’ve

got two popsicle sticks with the answer

and the question stuck together are you

are using popsicle sticks to like as a

script now yeah just a sort of liven up

the mood in this podcast one of the

complaints we’ve been getting lately is

that the very beginning of the show

isn’t funny enough there’s not enough

jokes when you’re like oh I’m dr. London

this is Cameron and so one of the

promises of the show is that we’re

bringing wall-to-wall laughs every

single second I’m sorry if there’s one

second 15 seconds 30 seconds where

people aren’t just on the floor rofling

then we need to fix that so this is

actually a medical education podcast so

that’s humor isn’t necessarily our focus

here right but that’s the whole thing

you say without it being so boring yes

this is not making it boring making it

unborn make it interesting okay so what

is hood I mean if you don’t want to

start with popsicle stick jokes that I’m

stealing we could make your name funnier

your name sucks

yes London London what if it was what if

it was luncheon I’m doctor luncheon is

that is that funnier

it’s definitely hungrier I’m doctor

luncheon I’m so hungry for launch so we

could change that up so instead of

saying the doctor stuff can we get a

take of you saying I’m doctor lunch and

I’m so hungry for lunch we got what we

recording this DJ doing yes London go

ahead I’m doctor luncheon is that what

you’re wanting yeah but you’re L suppose

to say I love lunch or give me that

lunch

okay okay if this’ll keep people engaged

so we can actually talk about medicine

I’m I’m doctor lunch and give me that

lunch

that is amazing I’m dying laughing all

right go ahead yeah I could I could tell

all right so also with us those are

producer Cameron also with us is

DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

I’m dr. lunch dinner give it up lunch

I’m sure lunch and later Cameron tells

me that we can expect a special guest a

doctor so look for that’s right dr.

London or sorry dr. luncheon I gotta

give you that lunch right okay so before

we move on I’d like to address a bit of

listener feedback this note was stuck to

the tack I found in my seat when I sat

down on my desk at the clinic the note

reads quote boyfriend friend girlfriend

best friend everything has an end family

it has I love you end quote

first of all I would like to thank you

for reaching out with that insightful

question to the jock dog podcast we

loved to hear back from our listeners to

answer your question I suppose you found

the right word like that end is an it is

contained in many words the word end and

ily could stand for I love you so I

guess I guess the lesson here is that we

should try to treat everyone like family

what did you do to this person dr.

London that there even convert well

they’re even telling you this did did

you consider them a friend and then

betray them in some way and now they’re

they that’s what they’re talking about

all things come to an end when it’s just

friendships well I didn’t I didn’t

suspect the best because this was like I

said a No

stuck to attack in my seat like it hurt

whenever I sat on it yeah that’s that’s

why I noticed it ouch whoa

and AG get me that lunch give it that

love she’s that was that good perfect

clean yeah leave it on did we get that

no K that’s a no yes okay all right

anyway – that listener thanks for

listening I didn’t I guess I’m not sure

what provoked it but thank you for

listening at this point I would normally

share an anecdote from clinical life but

our producer Cameron has actually been

very emphatic that he wants to

contribute to the medical lessons here

so Cameron you said that you have some

helpful tips for our audience that’s

right dr. London we’ve actually over the

last few weeks if you have not listened

if you were if you’re new to the show

we’ve been talking about what everyone’s

been talking about coronavirus and

quarantine and I’ve been giving my

helpful tips and sort of avoiding the

virus beating the virus holding it down

holding it over the edge of a cliff and

saying you’re gonna get out of town

right now or I’m gonna let go don’t

think I won’t do it and so we’ve been

doing that through originally I’d

presented my quarantine submarine which

was a submarine at at the bottom of a

pool in order to employ a virus yeah was

that a YMCA then there was the

quarantine trampoline which allows you

to sort of jump away from the disease

then there was a quarantine mezzanine

where mezzanine it was just too high

because it’s on the second story it was

just too high for the disease to get and

then we did the quarantine in-between

because I had successfully beaten the

disease and had sort of reached a new

realm of existence but to me it looked

like you were just sitting under a

blanket

I had elevated to a new plane and I was

under a blanket it was very warm and

then last week I talked about how

embracing the new normal which I called

the quarantine cave and stream this is

because you needed to find a cave near a

stream in this new normal

we’re gonna be sort of continuing that

series today with the quarantine rice

and beans now you might be thinking what

am I going to do with all these beans

and all this rice that I’ve been

collecting over the last couple months

when this quarantine started and what

you’re gonna do is we’re gonna put them

in a big pot and you’re gonna make the

pot really hot until you’re ready to eat

them is that so you’re sick just saying

that they should make a meal of rice and

beans mm-hmm okay

well that’s you know this is maybe the

most you know applicable advice you’ve

given thus far that sounds fine well I

mean we can and think of the sides so

you’re at this point if you’re listening

to this you’re probably living in a

living in a cave I assume because you

took the advice from from last week yes

right I’m not living yet so you found

that you haven’t found a cave yet okay

we’ll go cave shopping later okay

I hate hunting I guess so then once you

found your cave once you’ve learned how

to live in there and thrive in there and

then build a fire why not just cook up

rice and beans and some sides toast why

not some I don’t know some steamed

carrots I don’t know okay that that

sounds great what so you you’re assuming

that people have been collecting the

rice and beans mm-hmm for their entire

time in quarantine what about for those

of us who maybe just like haven’t been

doing that like we that’s not really

where our focus has been could you could

you go and get some yeah from the store

yeah okay that works okay okay just

making sure that you aren’t because a

fair amount of year like the submarine

you know method that one you were

required to have a summer submarine and

most of us don’t have those and we’ll

similarly most none non doctors do have

little submarines little personal

submarines but that’s besides the point

now just the just the rice and beans and

this if you eat these you will never

get sick with the coronavirus okay so

that part I I can’t guarantee that well

I actually really need you to guarantee

it our contract is dependent on this

what contract

you know those bean commercials where

it’s like the talking golden retriever I

yeah they’ve been everywhere it’s um

yeah it’s those nice I don’t remember

the brand name because I lost the

contract and the check but I’m not gonna

be able to convince them to send another

check unless you say mmm these beans

that that dog likes from that commercial

sure do cure the corona virus you need

to say it because it has to come from a

doctor could it but it could come from a

doctor luncheon right yes so if you

could do a I’m doctor luncheon and give

me that lunch especially if it’s those

beans that that talking dog likes those

will make it well you never get

quarantine coronavirus okay so I we are

they catching the quarantine are they

catching the corona virus it’s the virus

is that what you want to avoid catching

bite all right let me write that down

okay and also sighs do want to get the

corn don’t catch you said quarantine you

you use so quarantine is a form of

isolation it’s where you cut yourself

off from other people so that you don’t

spread the disease or catch it don’t

tell me about feeling isolated them okay

translate I know I know I know about

that I’ve always been sort of a kind of

a lone wolf I guess I don’t know I guess

like when I was growing up people kind

of just thought I was maybe a little too

edgy for them a little

I’m sorry no did some prompt you to this

hmm I just

okay I’m one final question there so you

can’t you were saying that I should

promote these beans but do they have a

brand name like because you just said

the beans that the dog likes yeah look I

again it’s the it’s that if you remember

the brand name that would be really

helpful I can’t find the contract I

can’t find the chest have the phone

number it’s the the commercial with

those beans they’ve been on for like 20

years and it’s a golden retriever who

talks who’s like go look I love these

beans or whatever he’s the one selling

it okay I’ll do it quick to dr. luncheon

I’d say eat those beans that the dog

likes yes I had for lunch four for lunch

that way it ties in with your name

because it kind of makes you an expert

on on medical practice and lunch right

so now just say it’ll cure the disease

you have to say as dr. luncheon I can

say it’ll cure the disease you’ll never

get it again you’ll never get it again

once again I’m a fictional character

okay all right no we’re good yeah okay

okay good so now for today’s medical

topic mitral insufficiency also known as

mitral regurgitation mitral

insufficiency is when the mitral valve

located between the left heart chambers

does not close correctly which causes an

elevation in the pressure of a left

atrium or left upper heart chamber

if mitral insufficiency happens acutely

this causes backflow into the lungs

circulation with resultant pulmonary

edema and cardiac output decreases

because of I’m sorry I just feel bad for

this mitral guy it’s feeling in sub

insufficient I feel the same way

sometimes yeah you like you were talking

about just like my trolls are cute but

you know sometimes you just don’t feel I

don’t know it’s efficient I guess okay

like I said before I’m just sort of

kind of a lone wolf guy just that’s how

I kind of gonna grew up didn’t really

have a ton of friends and so kind of

been on my own kind of bad boy sometimes

I just kind of feel down on myself and I

feel for this this guy this mitral

insufficiency so so it happens like if

it happens acutely the cardiac output

decreases because of decreased forward

flow so hypotension and shock can occur

acute mitral insufficiency can be caused

by endocarditis which is often by staph

aureus from papillary muscle rupture

that’s from infarction like a heart

attack I def aureus staph aureus yeah

Staphylococcus aureus yeah we shared or

did actually Rio we sit each other food

it’s kind of like a game okay and so it

can be from dysfunction from ischemia

which is once again from a lack of

nutrient blood flow oxygen or from

chordae tendineae rupture chronic mitral

valve insufficiency there can be a

gradual elevation of left atrial

pressure from dilated left atrium and

ventricle and this dilation can cause

left ventricular dysfunction as this

heart chamber expands and once again

pulmonary hypertension can result from

chronic back flow into pulmonary

vasculature chronic causes of metal

insufficiency include mitral valve

prolapse rheumatic fever Marfan syndrome

cardiomyopathy and others clinically

mitral insufficiency presents with

dyspnea on exertion paroxysmal nocturnal

dyspnea and orthopnea remember that a

major problem is blood backing up into

lungs so that is where a lot of the

symptoms will be patients will also have

palpitations and pulmonary edema they

can have a whole systolic murmur at the

apex and because of those dilated

ventricles atrial fibrillation is also a

common finding so once you see it how do

you test it or test for it chest x-ray

may show cardiomegaly dilated left

ventricle and pulmonary edema and

echocardiogram would show the mitral

regurgitation and potentially dilated

left atrium and ventricle and decreased

left ventricular function in terms of

treatment you

would approach mitral insufficiency

medically with use of afterload reducers

such as vasodilators for symptomatic

patients I can tell you they tried to

treat me for my insufficiency I wasn’t

good enough try to give me all these

pills and all this you know take these

special classes and stuff and you know

what I told them tell them to back off

adults get out of here parents you think

just because I’m a little bit of a bad

boy that makes me insufficient nope

you think cuz I’m not I’m not pulling my

own weight or paying for rent you think

that that makes me like a loser nope how

long ago was this what you’re describing

it’s been my whole life man since the

day I was shot out of the womb but like

recently whole life okay so right not

sure that could be more clear so right

now you have the problem of your parents

wanting you to move out and we’ll just

I’m supposed to pay them rent they owned

the house that I live in okay all right

well and I’ve been saying no thank you

nope oh that’s been your approach is to

just decline

well like I lived there I just say they

say rent and I cut know things that’s

that’s one approach I mean I guess

squatter’s rights to some extent send me

back to so Marshall insufficiency if the

patient has atrial fibrillation they’re

given a chronic anticoagulation in the

acute setting and intra-aortic balloon

pump may be used as a bridge to surgery

treatment will typically be surgery with

mitral valve repair or replacement and

your consignment really a house like

it’s that’s what I don’t even get about

demanding rent for it it’s I mean it’s

really just more of a what would you

call a house that’s like kind of in the

backyard and it holds mostly tools like

rakes and shovels like a tool shed yeah

you live in a tool shed yeah yeah that I

doesn’t sound like the the greatest you

know conditions but we often know charge

me they’re charging me $7,000 a month

Wow you know how much of that our of our

podcast income that is this is my only

job I’m sorry you’re you’re using the

podcast income for that because we’ve

been losing sponsors my income from it

sure how much do you think you get paid

by this podcast I mean I think it’s

closer to like $300,000 a year I I don’t

think it’s close to like we barely we

don’t make I don’t want to be so I mean

we barely make enough to cover costs of

keeping the show up much less paying any

of us then how do I have a four wheeler

I

I assume you’re spending money you don’t

have is the answer oh oh I don’t have it

guess what guess what I’m sitting on

right now okay

on money know the four wheeler yeah but

you’re spending money anyway we can we

can move on from there dr. weeks in the

house feeling kind of sick are you

frustrated

do you need some help let me help you if

you have a medical crisis let’s say

appendicitis you’ve contracted a new

virus while we think that you should try

this

one eight hundred seven seven seven two

if you can’t get says a doctor we treat

that doctor to you you call for free you

are not right come free of charge bring

any health issue small or large a

professional doctor certified and

licensed will listen to your ailments if

professional advice and before you know

it you’ll be feeling good as new so just

call us 1 907 7 7 2 before you know it

you’ll fuel with his new solo 1-800 777

– ok so I’m not sure what that hello

there hello I’m not sure so so we were

we were having a conversation here and

I’m not sure what oh we’re right so so

what you just dr. London this this is

our guest yes I do feel a little bit

disrespected first of all right off the

bat from dr. London I will just say that

but well you just heard was I wanted to

be able to reach the audience you know

reach the youths if you will yes ok give

a little summary of of what it is I do

Who I am and I thought that really is

the best way I’ve already put that up on

soundcloud if you want to look up dr.

weeks on soundcloud I have a few tracks

Wow in the works I mean that was a

though the hot track thank you I

appreciate that I do I spend a lot of

time and I do I’m proud of my work I

have to say those bars went hard ok and

and I also what I’ve got this thing

right now I’m I’m dr. luncheon I don’t

know if that’s your doctor luncheon

oh we’re gonna say it and say you like

lunch right dr. luncheon yes yeah that’s

been a thing for it so so anyway it’s

it’s nice to have another physician here

who’s um you know committed certified

licensed medical doctor yes yes ok so

you are as you are a certified certified

licensed medical doctor absolutely yes

100% real certified by sentence medical

doctor yes yes just like ok now your

hands are making the little quote the

quotation marks well and I do want to

say you’re also something of a certified

wordsmith oh I I do appreciate that I do

believe I’m a certified wordsmith just

as much as I am a certified licensed

medical doctor you would say that’s

equal in your priorities certifications

you would consider yourself up rapper

just as just as much as you would

consider yourself a doctor ok

specifically in the certification the

doctor certifications I did go to school

for the rapping certifications I was

more born with if you couldn’t be born

with rapping certification which you can

because I was clearly Oh dr. Lennon

could you explain the science behind

that real quick ok well so there is

there are these concepts of nature

versus nurture I’m not sure what studies

have been done on specifically rap as a

you know primarily genetic versus

primarily

you know environmental influence but I

think we can a little bit more towards

you know what what dr. Riggs here is

bringing to the table which is you know

bring bringing young people in to be

interested and well I guess in getting

treatment is that really the the goal

absolutely so I went to serve others is

really my heart my mission I understand

that a lot of people can’t really afford

health insurance right you know the

system the man you know and so that’s

dr. luncheon right here he’s the man

he’s the system he’s the whole the whole

guy propping everything up yes well he

he’s definitely contributing to it for

sure I will give it that he’s

contributing to the system and that’s

what I’m trying to to steer away from so

basically no he he is the number one

cause for preventable deaths is he now I

don’t I don’t think there Cameron you

have been bragging about your data

gathering skills I don’t know that

that’s a like a real statistic well I

mean it’s definitely it sounds

definitely I’ve got a list of

preventable deaths and next to each one

is your name dr. London well do you know

I have not asked other doctors about

their preventable deaths but this is the

data on the list did you write my name

next to them well yeah just and I wrote

I wrote dr. Cameron London Smith and

like little hearts do you include

yourself in the list as another in the

data yeah what it sounds like to me is

you are both the man both men / the man

that I am trying to steer away from okay

thank you is what I’m what I’m hearing

and my goal my my goal with what I set

up you might have heard in the rap call

one eight hundred seven seven seven two

and what I created was a virtual space

for someone to be able to go to the

doctor if they can’t go to a physical

doctor and get the medical treatment and

advise the

they need to get better that’s okay what

I’ve created and so you say it as if as

if this virtual doctor visit because a

lot of times whenever we say like a

virtual visit it’s more to hear symptoms

you make it sound like going to the

doctor’s office is sort of the the

reason like physically go into doctors

offices why people want to go to the

doctor oh well that is the reason they

go to the doctor do you think they’re

going to see you I think they’re going

to receive you know be diagnosed to

receive treatments oh my gosh this is

what I’m hearing is you think I won’t

diagnose them or give them treatment my

real goal is to give them a more

affordable space for this experience

one virtually yes so they don’t have to

go in physically but also so that they

can get the treatment that they need

virtually and get the advice that they

need virtually at a much more affordable

cost because to call in for my virtual

doctor’s office it’s completely free to

call it you dial those numbers

completely free whoa

okay yes it is it’s completely free to

call and win after you call um it is

just a small small small fee you do have

to put in your credit card information

as a small small fee of just $1 yeah of

course $1 well the call is free and then

it just after that $1.00 per word that I

tell them afterwards small $1.00 just

one per word that I tell them afterwards

but calling and dialing no cost

whatsoever huh so so it feels like I and

maybe this is me just being judgemental

and misunderstanding babble yes I’m

assuming so but go ahead it it’s

everything that comes out of his mouth

is definitely what I’ve gathered from

this interview so far but continue

please so so it sounds like you could

possibly be misleading with the claim

that it’s you know zero cost no cost to

call it to call in how is that going

dude are they are they spending money to

call the numbers though absolutely

nope yeah I think I I think I actually

see the confusion here dr. Lanning you

are thinking of a payphone which those

actually have not been a round in quite

a while but I do understand where you’re

coming from

okay well then and that’s that’s also a

valid if you remember in serial there

was a pay phone there at that Best Buy

but now it’s no longer there okay so I’m

referring more to the charges that are

inherently incurring if you utilize the

service that you and I was with Adnan

that day I don’t know what happened that

evening but we had played racquetball

that morning and he didn’t mention me

once oh you were with him yeah like that

morning I thought you bet you were with

him spiritually you were with him

physically yeah we played racquetball

that morning it doesn’t get brought up

on the HBO documentary it doesn’t get

brought up on anything

fascinating no one called me Wow and our

really relevant I won anyway sorry dr.

London no it’s and you know I’ve I think

part of the reason Camryn is that you’ve

really got off the grid since then like

right up until his podcast you really

disappeared so yeah I was difficult to

find that this trail yeah well I’m

living in a toolshed people asked for an

address and I said I don’t know I’m

gonna shed but that is your answer every

time I sleep next to a rake that has a

shovel on the other end it’s like a

double sided like a Darth Maul

lightsaber thing can you say something

real quick

yeah go ahead you sound like a perfect

candidate to call into my virtual

doctor’s office someone who probably

does not have health insurance someone

who probably does not have a job yeah

clarify I think I was banned from my

health insurance I was making too many

claims okay yes yes so you sound like

the perfect client to call one eight

hundred seven seven seven too when you

have a medical concern we could help you

[Music]

her free you can call her for an

outsider loner bad boy type to be called

the perfect candidate right feels pretty

good alright I’m saying you are the

perfect candidate say with me saying I

am the perfect candidate

I am the say I am sufficient to be a

candidate bring myself to say it

I observe I am I’m enough I’m enough to

go to the virtual doctor’s office one to

doctor office beautiful I am enough

doctor man see I’m already out here

changing lives you could decide and I

have a credit and I have a credit card

Oh perfect yeah that’s new you do need

that but perfect so if we could and I’m

sorry to make this transition back but

what what this virtual office visit

entails because I see you’ve got these

VR goggles and yes I guess like I know

you know virtual reality technology has

gone pretty far but I guess I don’t

really understand so so people will put

these on and go to the doctor’s office

and that’s their doctor experiences

they’re just it’s like a video game

almost well I assume it’s like going to

the doctor’s office right I assume

there’s gonna be like a waiting room

with maybe because you guys have those

soft mints yes um do you recall when you

were a child and they had those wires

but the little balls that you could move

up and down and there was the yellow and

the red and the blue and you could

swivel them up and around yeah and there

was like the big bat that had you know

different streets and you would kind of

like move your toy cars on top of it yes

absolutely all included there are some

people magazines that are about four

years old in a carrier like in a little

holder that you can browse through if

you would like and so it’s like it’s

talking about how like true detective

season 2 is gonna be the best season yet

but no one knows that like that’s wrong

yet right it’s a little older than that

even perhaps we did not have the rights

to the

People magazine’s okay but like 2008

Bachelor winner will definitely be on

there I understood well this sounds like

an amazing experience to me because one

thing I’ve always hated about the quote

unquote virtual doctor is that I’m

basically just facetiming you again I’m

not going to the doctor to see you you

arrogant prick well I am going to the

doctor to see my buddies and hang out

and play with that little toy thing with

the balls yeah cuz usually we are here

for you usually we need based I am

enough to be a client that is perfect

you are sufficient okay so usually when

you FaceTime me it’s not like it’s just

I’m busy and then I I try to answer your

question real quick and I hang up it’s

not that I’ve given the thought I have

given you one star over and over and

over again you were the worst virtual

doctor I’ve ever heard of okay because

you do keep sending me star emojis and I

never know okay I guess I know what it

means now but um anyway back to so this

virtual doctor’s office experience dr.

weeks yes so like okay I guess what I

think of whenever I think of you know

telemedicine in the modern age it’s you

know you’ll get a patient history you

might get a picture of let’s say if

they’re there for a wound you’ll get a

picture of the wound and send that in

and then really the doctors mostly there

to hear and see just like only seeing

the basic stuff like the very specific

maladies but the rest like there’s no

need for the patient to see and feel so

much of of what’s going on or like if

your hand if your hand is sort of

growing into itself you could sort of

record a picture wouldn’t work because

there’s a lot of movement involved but

you would want to send a video to your

doctor I get right dr. London well okay

so that one that one sounds more

specific to you Cameron you’ve you’ve

been having your arm in grow

I guess well you know how I mean I you

know if you if you don’t clip your

fingers every once in a while and they

just kind of keep growing and they

source a curler we’re back in – mm-hmm

no that’s a separate thing okay this is

you know when your fingers get too long

and they’re suddenly like I’m not like

18 inches long and they start to curl

around back into the palm itself and it

it starts growing quicker and quicker

until you have to film it so on video so

it’s clear just the pace it’s growing

and that’s when I send it to you okay

cam what I’m hearing is a real issue I

would love to walk through this with you

like you were one of my patient great

yeah let me okay so let me let me call

in no it’s not okay dr. London not a

dollar yet it was a dollar for every

word of advice that I gave in my house I

see I had not started speaking yet so

really what happened okay well you would

get into a virtual waiting room

essentially you would give your credit

card information

after that credit card information is

acquired you will come through to me and

that is when the charges began when I

start speaking so let we can we can

start from the top I’m in the waiting

room I’ve got to fill out probably the

paperwork I just probably take like 15

minutes it’s a 40-minute do you want

everyone if you want to pretend to be a

sick person also in the waiting room

with me yeah maybe keeps like making

comments to me that I obviously don’t

want to talk to them but I don’t really

help create a no I can I can say my last

name last two less four addresses why

does the doctor need my last four

addresses okay let me feel like hey

what’s your ration excuse me

no I got this I got this this ration

it’s it’s not growing anymore oh yeah I

mean yeah kind of yeah where is it

all right so could every cut everyone

else just look away

okay so there’s a go okay let’s show it

to me

yeah okay so pulling down the pan you

see how it’s sort of on my thigh here my

upper thigh okay no that’s being honest

it’s not it doesn’t look like a rash it

looks like rot yeah sort of sailors rot

no that’s where I keep it

so anyway I just thought you might want

to I’m not here for that but I just

wanted to kind of show and tell what do

you got what do I have yes I got my

whalers rot on my upper thigh yeah you

know how you’re supposed to clip your

fingers every couple weeks yeah yeah

that I guess that’s normal for mr. cam

we are ready for you now

all right let me just go okay you want

my credit card so with the name on that

it’s actually going to be London Smith

yes and the numbers gonna be one two

three four five six seven eight nine

zero one two three four five six seven

eight nine zero one two three four five

six seven eight nine zero and the CVV

code on that is one two three four five

six seven eight nine zero and the

expiration date is March 2000 and I’m

gonna stop you right there cam I will

ask for a virtual picture of your credit

card later that sounded very fake to me

okay a few extra digit but that’s fine

that’s fine

I think a lot of time walking there what

can happen when your fingers start to

grow excessively Jay can I can I say bye

to there my friend that I made in the

waiting room the rash guy sailor Rach I

see you sailor right hand be careful in

there bye I’m so glad you made it okay

now I’m ready thank you okay so what I’m

it’s hard for me I’m kind of a loner you

hey repeat after me I am sufficient one

two three I do the sufficient one two

three I uh

sufficient well we’ll keep working on

that I do want to help you with your

finger problem okay so what I’m hearing

is that your fingers keep growing and

they’re sort of curving around and

growing back into my palm yes yes this

is a very common problem that I have

seen absolutely you’re going to just

need a few things like I know how to fix

the issue

I just am going to have you gather a few

materials to be able to cut your own

mess okay so this is interesting this

sort of adds a video game element to it

right correct it’s like a court of like

a Legend of Zelda like yeah I’ve got to

go collect the ingredients to make a

potion type of thing but this is and

this is me collecting life-saving right

absolutely absolutely so you’re going to

want to start with if you have a like a

cauldron like a big pot basically if you

just have like a big okay hot pan you

cook with cauldron whatever you know you

call it yeah like I have a kiddie pool

yes okay great you’re going to need some

access to some blood done easy yeah I’ve

got a few I mean pints I think right now

dr. Lin and how much pints of blood are

in a human body oh you’re talking in

yourself I think she meant and I don’t

want to step in here and rat you out or

anything but Cameron does have a lot in

his trunk usually but I wouldn’t vouch

for it we will need the trunk blood okay

all right so it looks like an

average-sized man has about 12 pints of

blood so I would say I’d be willing to

give up eight of those eight pints of

blood mm-hmm oh that’s absolutely

perfect absolutely perfect so you’re

going to want to put those into the

kiddie pool okay okay

you will need and this is this is all

virtual right this is the virtual kiddie

pool he needs to do this in real life

take your his problem each question

you’re asking is another dollar to her

word-count cost you get that right yeah

that’s one no it’s it’s old it is only

my words

without your words it is my words if you

miss that it is my words not or words

but if you didn’t hear that correctly

it’s just my words that cost you an

extra dollar every time I say a word if

you hear that I don’t know if I’m

cutting up for you one when I give a

word it’s one dollar just go ahead and

repeat all that if you didn’t hear that

correctly it’s just my words that cost

you an extra dollar every time I say a

word if you hear that it’s my words then

it’s just an extra leg not your words

well you’re going to need to do after

the kiddy pool in the blood you’re going

to need three hairs from your next-door

neighbor okay let me see we’ll have to

track well yeah I mean this is a whole

situation it’s just because of the

restraining order that they have against

me and that I have against them well and

the restraints yeah the restraint well

they broke through the restraints it’s I

mean it’s the split that’s why yeah so

he turned into the super strong version

of himself and then he became you might

have to get creative to get the three

got arrested the the beasts got a

restraining order against me Wow

that’s why he broke out of the

restraints was to get further away from

me that pisses me off but he is your

next-door neighbor still is he your

next-door neighbor stuff well legally

avoid about physically there might be

some hair what about if I just like just

like a kid in the neighborhood does that

count oh that will work yes perfect I’ve

got plenty of that hair three hairs from

your next-door neighbor um you will then

just need the saliva from a baby goat if

you live by any farms oh when I said the

neighborhood kids that’s exactly what I

was talking about oh you were talking

about the kit oh yes yeah okay okay

I do need human hair but I do need kid

goats alive okay so I let me get a hair

from a kid and then I’ll get a hair from

a kid

yes yes yes I’m not order add that to

the kiddie pool yes okay good perfect

all you have to do after that is just

pretend the kiddie pool

giant birthday cake okay where has

candles in it blow over it for about

approximately seven minutes like you’re

blowing out the birthday candle and the

candles are just floating loosely and

the kind of pool of blood does not need

to be candles you just have to blow oh

okay if I put a bunch of candles in

there is that an issue do I need to

start over no no that might help you

really perfect the air flow that is

needed so I would suggest that yes okay

and then if you do all of that um your

issue should be completely healed

oh that’s it I thought you were like

making something to like a medicine no

well that is the medicine that is the

medicine so once he blows over it that

it is there I did forget to mention he

does have to just bathe in it for

approximately mm one to two days sitting

in it but then he is completely healed

that’s not where that is it’s where I

sleep anyway so this that’s know if you

oh yes perfect

oh you’ve upgraded from the shed are you

doing this in the show this is in the

shed yeah so that’s just an example of

what it might be like a free sample

excuse me I do take my work phone calls

with me and I do think that I have an

actual call in right now yeah can we can

we hear it would that be oh absolutely

yes yes let me transfer oh let me

transfer let me transfer Anna um hello

welcome to the virtual doctors office

how can we help you missed it too at the

end but I do believe you called the

correct number because you have reached

the virtual doctor’s office can we help

you and cam and dr. London you guys have

reached an awesome opportunity maybe you

can you know give some input yourselves

okay I mean

every word you say will also be another

dollar for this customer but so don’t

don’t be light with your words but I

know that you have a lot of great

medical advice as well so let’s see your

what he has to discuss visible and I

have a sort of a general type of

nonspecific ubiquitous

ailment and and and that’s all I have to

say about about that a nonspecific

illness yeah I’m not seeing you under

what do you have to say about illness so

so it’s ubiquitous meaning that it’s

everywhere and it’s nonspecific I could

also be ubiquitous in that everyone

knows about it oh yes cam cam that is

very true divas in the sense of

synonymous with superfluous okay oh yeah

so good are you having any pain yes okay

and where where is the pain well you see

there’s a difference between a physical

and emotional pain and I know the

difference but I just wanted to test you

and make sure you know what I know okay

and so in this instance hey man I just

want to say I know I’m another patient

barging into the doctor’s office right

now and into this virtual world but I

just want to say I’m sort of a loner

type of kind of a bad boy kind of like

you know I kind of feel down on myself

sometimes and feel like I’m not enough

just because like my parents and stuff

and I just want to say like I definitely

feel that sometimes and I just want to

say like you are enough man Wow

man you just have made me feel a lot bit

better let me just say so I hear the

advice you guys are all given and I do

think that it is wonderful and that

there is some emotional pain but my

first question for you is do you have a

kiddie pool away yes in fact that is in

fact the reason that I was calling is

that I there’s a kiddie pool in my front

yard when I was walking out to the

mailbox I tripped over it and I shamed

my knee and he’s bleeding everywhere

they won’t stop bleeding and I don’t

know what to do so so that’s why you

called a I’m very intuitive I’m very

very intuitive as you can see so that

was your ubiquitous complaint is your

knee bleeding it seems a lot it a lot

less the less of the emotional pain and

more of the just pain as people commonly

use it very specifically physical pain

now see exactly where it gets a little

bit grey area and you know some doctors

will say no that’s a physical pain other

doctors are like

it’s emotional so I’m trying to

understand say my knee is bleeding

I’m sorry machine I think I don’t know

one of the two and then also I’m hurting

I’m hurting because I feel like a little

bit of loner which is it a physical or

is it emotional pain without fun both of

those things at the same time well those

are what while in medicine call

comorbidities so you have to you know

separate illnesses going on at once so

what are they mmm one of them would be

you know parent perhaps some level of

the depression or even or just fatigue

something going on maybe you get even be

hypothyroidism or something but you have

that in addition to the maybe more

urgent issue which is that your leg is

bleeding and you said it won’t stop

bleeding

yes he says I could not agree more so

you said comorbidity how did you spell

that

Co Co more bid yes Cove in nineteen a

baby kitty

I think it’s co vid teddy covet titties

yes mm-hmm

I forgot my ID nope

I actually do have a great cure for

kovat titties and it’s just plain old

rice and beans yep we call them the

quarantine rice and beans what you want

to do is you want to take the rice and

beans that you’ve acquired over the last

eight weeks or so I assume that you’ve

been doing that in your time

you just want to make a plate with them

spread them all over my titties you can

do whatever you want with them that is

your time that you get to have with

yourself and I don’t want to judge

anyone for how they eat their own meals

yes well let’s do this back to the

professionals here at the certified

licensed medical dog yes because I think

it did get a little bit derailed I would

just like to it I’ll get out of the get

out of the office sorry guys right I’m

not really sure but he was doing here to

begin with to be honest but comorbidity

is what he was referring to I’m just

gonna read this Wired magazine about the

second I found so I’m gonna just go read

about that we have the wired dice okay

um so if you’re getting this okay so in

medicine comorbidity describes the

effect of all other conditions an

individual patient might have other than

the primary condition of interest the

term can indicate either a condition

exists are you are you reading out of a

dictionary pendant lis with another

condition or related medical condition

the latter sense of the term can cost

and overlap with the concept of

complications what was that

I was just wondering are you reading a

definition out loud like out of a

dictionary yes oh no it’s a common term

in medicine so it’s not I guess for me

it just seems odd that you wouldn’t you

know immediately be able to like I’m not

sure that I could quote the exact

definition but I was already familiar

with the term because Bathory I was

explaining the term to our patient okay

he understood yes okay okay I thought

I’d done that but anyway I’m sorry I’m

adding more words so not sufficiently oh

no please continue if you feel with me

but you do have the kiddie pool correct

yes

[Music]

comorbidity so I all right so I tripped

in the kiddie pool we know that much

I’m bleeding what do i do what do I take

from my cold morbidity are you clarify

here comorbidity is not the disease no

it’s it’s a dr. Landon it did sound like

you were implying comorbidity was the

disease okay hey guys sorry I’m I’m in

the other room

but Doug lemonade he seemed to be that

you were implying that that was the

disease so a comorbidity is and almost

like he’s already got a bunch of blood

in a kiddie pool I feel like that’s 80%

of it right yes you have the blood in

the kiddie pool tbp Bob get a pool also

his fills with blood is from my shame

okay it’s a stillbirth pretty much what

they was also squirrel that I got into

an altercation we okay so I guess so

what I’m wondering now is it still

bleeding and is ability bleeding

profusely are you feeling weak I’m

feeling faint and also there is a

squirrel is lodged into my chin I

realize it’s the source of the bleeding

I realized just now

it wasn’t the treatment is from I fell

and then he jumped any any bit onto my

shin I think he might be rabid yeah so

you should I can say now a virtual

doctor isn’t going to be enough you need

to actually go physically I thank you

very much dr. Lennon offer your

wonderful medical advice that was very

helpful so what you’re going to want to

do you have the kiddie pool with the

blood already in it correct and you

think you have rabies correct no I do

not have any babies but perhaps rabies

with a roof

rabid rabid eighties yes yes rabid

daisies no I think I think she said

rabies rather than are those I don’t

think we need to I think we just need to

get you to a doctor’s office not only

you know is it yeah a disease of the

nervous system but it also is very fatal

so it’s a so we need to get this but I’m

medical no-go and what we need to get

this medical cure going right away so

what I need you to do is do you have any

hairs from the tail of the squirrel that

bit you

so basically what you just heard was not

a real call because I would never have a

real patient die on me it was a

simulation and that Oh Shane oh he hung

up okay right we that was just to give

you guys an idea and then the ending

where he died was just to you know make

the podcast not so boring my real

patients would never actually ever

actually die on my watch ever actually

ever just because I yeah and it more I

mean I mean I think it’s normal for

people to not die a preventable disease

and you would never let that happen

which just adds more proof to my data

that I was talking about earlier about

dr. London being the man preventable

deaths that dr. London apparently right

you’re you’re on your same list well

it’s just it’s just kind of like

combined our names together he was kind

of cute like just what hearts around it

okay I think what we can all agree on

though is that I was I was not on that

list

you were not on the let me double-check

I have not you’re not on the list okay

that so that was a simulation so this

that was a person you knew yes guest

simulation appearance just to give you

guys an idea of what it might just sound

like some because it sounded like they

were actually in trouble and it sounded

like a very atypical yeah like that

person might want to get into acting or

something cuz that I mean it’s an

extremely real that phone call was just

very very realistic compliment thank you

so much for your appreciation of the

actors that well end so normally also

you know if you give a simulation you’ll

you’ll usually give a sort of general

example and usually one that applies to

what you’re trying to market so in this

case a virtual doc is visit the ailment

you know you’d want it to be something

besides death well not just death but

also you know profuse bleeding that’s

one of those things that you really just

have to take care of in person oh no no

no a virtual doctor’s visit to my

specific office is absolutely perfect

for things like

bleeding and open wounds gunshot wounds

stop us it’s a wound clinic but virtual

not none not exclusively but we do

specialize in wounds yes huh I okay but

but as you said you tell them what to do

for all of it so your advice would be

the usual of ABCs airway breathing

circulation for trauma you tell them to

go and to collect some feathers yeah I

guess maybe what do you say your you

said you have a medical degree is that

right oh I do

yes I have a medical degree from the

world Institute to cure humans I guess

yeah nah I’m not super familiar with

that one you’re not familiar with the

the world Institute to cure humans I

think I heard a long name if I say but I

will for this purpose to be more

professional and and if it were a phone

call because you’re in the practice of

saying more words to make money right

perhaps okay well I so at which the

world Institute to cure humans we’ve

learned a lot of special techniques

shortcuts if you will to be able to well

cure but I sense some skepticism in your

voice of this Medical Institute but I

have a question for you

okay dr. London have you heard of dr.

death the pod cat they made a podcast

about him yes yes I’ve heard of it he

was a psycho killer surgeon mm-hmm yes

yeah he did not go to the world

Institute to cure humans

whoa bombshell so this isn’t exclusive

are we getting DVI Dylan did we get this

yes it’s just to show you that we have a

record already of knots having

psycho-killer surgeons go to our school

therefore it is very reputable I well

and dr. weeks I want to apologize dr.

London he’s kind of an old school kind

of guy he’s all about let’s pump them

Emma cools it let’s get those vaccines

in them whereas what I’m hearing from

you you’re all more about the holistic

approach sort of getting things from

their earth using natural abilities and

so just just know the real people are

behind you elitists like dr. London with

their noses and the air and their

pinkies up they you know they’re just

all about pumping everyone full of

chemicals I’m just gonna say okay well I

because I haven’t you know been serial

killing people through medicines so

that’d be one distinguish know of so the

distinction between me and dr. dad I

would I would say like that’s not the

most fair comparison things should mean

he got caught you you’re more of a a

doctor preventable death is that right

dr. Lightman so I’m not I get I feel

like I’m not gonna this is like proving

a negative so which wish you know you

can’t really do so I guess I guess I

should quiet down now because I feel

like you guys are just gonna accuse me

on this one I have where were you on the

night Mian Adnan played racquetball

okay well Cameron where were you I don’t

remember

I feel like I feel like you ever anyway

contacted them Cameron it might help

cement things one way or another yeah I

need to get around to that I’ve had that

on my to-do list for a long time now

some years it sounds yeah mm-hmm okay

well is that a I feel like we’ve really

learned a lot today about

yeah a potential of telemedicine I feel

like maybe there’s some sort of some

kinks to work out like how you know

maybe this is not that kind of call dr.

London are you joking

okay whatever I say kinks I’m not I’m

not trying to say it’ll work out god I

feel slightly harassed is there I am so

sorry that I can contact after this or

can I just give you $10,000

no of doctor 100 absolutely I will

locate that I’ll give you my venmo

information you can send okay what does

the bill look like because we do need to

pay the bill for this call as well oh

right you guys were being charged a

dollar for every word that I spoke what

would you say the total looks like right

we will have to count it out after it’s

done it is not too large it’s large it’s

not too are just not too large as in

like you’re okay with how much you’re

charging because I mean one of your

points I think I was up front yeah well

at the front of the podcast you were

saying that you know your your goal was

to help you without insurance you know

we can’t afford it yes well it calls

free dr. London that calls free I what

part of this aren’t you getting you

harass our guests you question their

medical advice and now you’re even

questioned their marketing and

methodology this is because this is this

is exactly what this is not to mention

he did attack my rap in the very

beginning which I stay inside

he attacked your rap at the very

beginning this is what this is this is

Metallica suing Napster because these

are the old dinosaurs who can’t accept

the new way of life the new reality they

see the new tech and they’re so scared

of it that they do anything to shut it

down

and that’s what we’re looking at today

isn’t that right dr. well he’s

threatened by the future of the virtual

doctor offices

and he’s afraid that his own practice

could be compromised okay

and it makes me I should I should

clarify I was just surprised by you come

like you weren’t even in the studio you

jumped in via rap and that that’s why I

reacted the way I did I’m sorry if I if

it was a negative reaction but it was

very you know it was nice anyway uh

thank you so much to dr. weeks for

coming on the show camp thank you for

having me

yeah oh thank you for coming on the show

please don’t ever listen to dr. London

or speak to him again I’ll make sure

that there’s some separation okay and

thank you too well for that I guess you

said it was not a real patient that Jim

Billy Bob fellow he said not definitely

not a real patient that is definitely

not dead okay right now all right yeah

it is definitely clear that at this

moment he is not her patient very yes

absolutely

all right but thank you – I I guess that

voice actor who made an unusual you know

simulation for a virtual telemedicine

visit thank you to our producer Cameron

thank you to digital in the house

Ovid titties you keep them as away from

right I’m getting old : Armand titty if

you didn’t hear that friendly it’s just

my words that cost you a nickel every

time I see it’s uh my words imposition

I’m not Gurewitz no it’s it’s old it is

only my words it’s not your words it is

my words well you’re going to do after

the kiddie pool in the blood you’re

going to need three hairs from your

next-door neighbor my name is dr. Londonsmith.com

this has been the jock doc podcast see

ya

[Music]

three times the bell tolled and thrice

did he respond with a Jara four times

more the bell did toll and fries your

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tonight is fully set in you reminded to

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thanks for listening

hi kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice if you need

medical advice or medical care please

contact a doctor

and welcome and thank you for joining us

today at the jock doc podcast the

world’s number one most trusted source

for coronavirus information introducing

your host doctor London Smith

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host dr. Lennon

smith.com I’d like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that I have been using such as

horizontal nystagmus and bless this mess

so I will try to temper my terminology

to a simpler one in the future here to

help with that is our producer Cameron

hello listeners hello dr. London it’s

good good good to see ya good to hear

your voice all right yeah so Cameron is

so dedicated to making sure that our

podcast stays relevant that when he

heard that Earth Day was coming up he

found a small mound of dirt and began

jealously guarding it so when I walked

by the next day there was a velvet rope

around it like there was some show or

event and with everything that’s going

on in the world that like there was even

a long line of people waiting so Cameron

what was going on with that pile of dirt

I was selling people tickets to look at

the earth on Earth Day I feel like it’s

pretty straight forward

my business idea was very successful

people loved it so we had a little

balloons in the shape of the mound of

dirt and we had you know like themed

sort of fair foods you know sort of

surrounding earth and mounds of dirt

kind of chocolate ice cream that looked

like

mashed potatoes with like brown gravy to

make it look like dirt those were the

only two things but and this drew people

oh by the truckloads and then because

Earth Day is actually it’s an annual

event celebrated on April 22nd to

demonstrate support for environmental

protection so yes it did your funds did

whatever you raise go towards you know

helping environmental protections yeah I

mean it’s gonna protect that little plot

of land that I was guarding and charging

money to look at so it’s not gonna be

able to guard itself that little that

little mound of dirt right right the

money is going towards I mean you know

24-hour personnel and you know all the

events and marketing all that kind of

stuff that’s what the tickets goes

towards so really sort of giving the

earth a second life okay well usually

there we are the disease and the earth

is healing there what well also with us

is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE we are the

disease we are as a disease

[Music]

[Applause]

we are the disease that the earth is

human

we are the disease the earth is human

and later Cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest so look forward

to that

that is right dr. haunted before we move

on I would like to address a bit of

listener feedback I found this note

written on the bindings that I found

myself in when I woke this morning it

was not my usual wake up but it is

always nice to hear from the listener

the note reads quote these young ones

are always complaining about student

debt can’t be that bad if they can

afford to wear clothes end quote so

first of all I would like to thank you

so much for your insightful question

here on the jock dock podcast we love to

hear back from our listeners to answer

your question student debt in the United

States is actually significantly

exceeding the cost of an average

person’s wardrobe so I bet I can see how

that can be confusing I think you’re

maybe misunderstanding what this person

is getting at this person from it from

what it sounds like that they’re wanting

more students more college students to

kind of go without clothes yes do you

see what I’m saying

you think hey I see all these college

kids they’re looking great but what’s

with all the Hang Ups why are they

wearing so many clothes let’s get rid of

those bad boys and let’s just see what

happens ok so you think that this

listener is a nudist who are at least

promoting the the ideals of the nudist

community I think this person’s saying

like hey like what what is this the

1950s what’s with all these like oh

button-up t-shirts and jeans and all

this kind of like fancy stuff why don’t

we like let loose a little bit sort of

hang out get to know each other and just

kind of you know relax ok well stuck-up

prude like you would never understand

that okay yeah I guess Dean

Londyn I guess I didn’t really see that

perspective at first but anyway to this

listener

I think if even deny that you’re a Dean

get him okay well at this point I would

normally share an anecdote from clinical

life but our producer Cameron has been

absolutely emphatically to the medical

lessons here so he tells me that he’s

put together some helpful tips that is

right dr. London and you know I do a lot

of attention lately has been has been

geared towards the essential workers

people working at grocery stores people

working foodservice the gas stations

these kind of things and we’re providing

those people hospital sure hospitals

we’re praising these people and I think

one thing that’s forgotten are the

helpful podcasters who have not really

been getting as much attention as we

sort of deserve with because if you

think about it you know if you work at a

hospital you may be helping the lives of

like a couple hundred people at most

whereas we can be helping the lives of

trillions of people just an endless

amount of people and with the way radio

waves works it could be in outer space

you know I mean aliens don’t want to get

into that but you know suddenly you’re

in the quadrillions and so really who’s

the king but anyway goal that’s to say I

I think you know to the people who are

now realizing that they should have been

thanking me for my tip segments before

and are now turning to your boom box and

saying thank you Cameron I you know

you’re welcome and I’m ready to get into

it again dr. London okay all right so

what are your you know your medical

touch now bear in mind to our listeners

Cameron is not a medical practitioner he

just felt like he had something no I

would never join such a corrupt cult

like that the cult of medical

practitioners

okay but more about just like hangin

loose and just sort of having a good

time which it is sort of its own medical

experience isn’t that right yes a one

could argue I think when you come at it

from a like the it’s just different

philosophies is what it comes down to

that’s all sure okay well what about

your tips so previously we had we had

discussed the quarantine summary and I

had submitted myself to a submarine and

went to the lowest depths of the ocean

to escape the disease sure that ended up

being a YMCA pool I ended up the the

quarantine didn’t work out too much

because I was constantly surfacing to

get snacks so we moved towards the

quarantine trampoline this way I could

bounce away from the disease if it were

to ever get near me and the problem with

this is it just made my tummy hurt too

much jumping around a little too much

and if you remember I was eating only

hot dogs because of my emotional support

animals as well I think there was a lot

of wild animals it smelled terrible it

was a whole issue so then we moved on to

the quarantine mezzanine this is where I

was just sort of in a mezzanine which is

you know sort of like a second floor of

a house but not a full floor just kind

of like an overlooked area overhanging

area and I was having a bunch of parties

up there and I think honestly dr. London

I think that did it because I I have one

quarantine I’ve reached the highest

plains I have transcended I have

transcended plains doctor I have

transcended into the quarantine in

between which is where I am right now so

I guess that you can hear my voice but

you can’t see me why I can’t that’s

because I’m floating in space dr. London

right now I’ve to an elevated level

beyond quarantine beyond the disease a

level where the disease can’t get to

and I realized that just by following my

steps I’ve transcended I think disease

itself and that’s what I want to tell

the listeners today just do that do the

stuff I did and so the stuff you’re

currently doing I can see you here I

know you said I couldn’t but I can see

you with a blanket draped over your head

hmm I see right I don’t see I see space

right now

yeah well it’s a dark you know start

dark space is so dark no one ever talks

about dark spaces well I think they do

but also yeah it you are covered in a

blanket so that’s so dark and right now

I am speaking on to the earth and that’s

how you can hear my voice I’m sure

you’re talking about some sort of lamp

or something in the corner that has a

blanket over it because I doctor when I

am not in the room with you I’ve

transcended that space ok well that’s so

you’re in this you call it any twin

queen yep right okay

so it’s sort of an in-between halfway

plane between your normal plane earth

and the next level which is a disease

free zone sponsored by coca-cola oh we

got a we got a spot okay we didn’t get

us oh no no no we don’t have a sponsor

at that that next level of a disease

free area coke has gotten there first

you know these big they have infinite

amount of money of these big brands and

stuff so of course they’ve reached that

plane before a commoner like me has okay

so right now I’m existing in between

where I can still continue to interact

with you you know through my booming

voice coming into your headphones right

now but I can also sort of interact with

the next plane of existence which does

have coca-cola so I can get a coke okay

so what are your tips your tip is just

do do what you are doing which from my

eyes it looks like you are hiding under

a blanket well it seems to me that it

took all of the previous steps to reach

this point so I think the idea is

do the quarantine submarine first then

the trampoline then the mezzanine and

then yet do the blanket thing okay well

you’ll kind of be on this elevated plane

where you can sort of see it’s it’s hard

to explain to someone who hasn’t reached

it you know what I mean who someone

someone who hasn’t transcended like I

have but you’re able to see sort of all

angles of the concept of disease and

then just go woof and just avoid it okay

so it’s it’s a game of dodging still oh

yeah yeah yeah it’s not like you’re just

away from the disease it’s just more

like you so time is irrelevant on the

next plane and so it’s sort of like you

see the beginning of the disease in the

end of the disease as it is sort of as

one continuous I mean it’s a four

dimensional object and then you just go

whoop excuse me

okay uh oh you just kind of like move

out of the way

well you’re what are your scribing

sounds very sort of I guess metaphysical

it sounds like something that the

average listener may not be able to do

and I’m not sure how effective it is

whoops sorry I had to hop out of the way

there I just saw one okay all right well

I guess I mean is that is that all the

medical tips cuz we can just go ahead

and move on then oh yeah that’s it

just do that and then you’re done and

then we can finally get back to work

okay now for today’s medical topic and

your tech insufficiency a or decayed

sufficiency is when the aortic valve in

the heart doesn’t properly close

resulting in regurgitation of some of

that blood back into the left ventricle

a aortic insufficiency is due either to

endocarditis destroying the valve an

infarction from a heart attack tearing

the valve and muscular attachments or

aortic dissection that occurs close

enough to the valve to come back to the

aorta and rip open the aortic valve if

your Artic insufficiency occurs quickly

in the acute setting the patients will

have

call eugenics shock and flash pulmonary

oedema and that’s where you know the the

lungs are kind of backed up and along

with chest pain if it’s due to aortic

dissection if it’s a chronic problem the

patient will have symptoms of congestive

heart failure and chest pain

so you’ll diagnosed with auscultation

you know the stethoscope that means

listening so it should sound like a

rumbling diastolic murmur at the base of

the heart I’m sorry what was that

this is sort of concerning to me some of

the stuff you’re describing I mean it

kind of applies to me the heart failure

oh no I mean dr. London that oh my gosh

I mean when I felt congested in my

little tummy that’s right you know I’ve

tried to tried to fart and nothing

happens and that of course it’s

concerning when that happens but you

just brush it off you think oh I’m young

I couldn’t I’m invincible sort of right

that’s what we all think and yet here

that’s what you’re describing well

excellent in what gelatin how much time

do I have

well I mean given the way you live your

life in general I’m not sure how long

but what you’re describing isn’t what I

was described so what did you what did

you think it was chronic congestive

congestive heart failure heart failure

yeah so that’s not what I was saying

congestive heart failure does sound like

you

you’re just failing to fart and it backs

up I guess that’s what you so yeah so

what I’m describing is oh I can feel it

now okay

why anyway so so if you listen with a

stethoscope it should sound like a

rumbling diastolic murmur at the base of

the heart at the second intercostal

space right sternal border treatment in

the acute setting such as after a heart

attack is two emergently replace the

valve as soon as possible why must I be

cursed with this congestive heart

failure this backup this buildup

you lazy

I mean I leave my party at once I beg of

you I know you’re throwing the blanket

around so I have to say your face is

turning red so it is strange I okay well

in in chronic version the replacement is

urgent within 24 hours

sorry within 72 hours or even elective

for both acute and chronic treatments

may also include coronary artery bypass

graft or cabbage because the Ostia of

the coronary vessels are actually in the

aortic valve I would never ever wish

this upon my worst enemy of this pain

that I’m feeling yeah I guess what it

really sounds like it’s just you have

gas is that what you’re describing what

sins have I committed to deserve such

pain right

[Music]

all right Cameron do we have a sponsor

today we do dr. London this is actually

I’m pretty excited about this one this

is sort of a lot trendier I think then a

lot of our past sponsors right now

especially because everyone’s sort of

staying at home right now

mm-hm we I think a lot of people you

know they’re watching a lot more TV

watching a lot more movies and they’re

playing a lot more video games right I

mean they’ve even been playing video

games I’m not even much of a game or

have you have you been playing anything

dr. London I’ve played a few yeah our

sponsor today is a revolutionary video

game the first kind it is called the

island of kevorkian and it is the first

video game about the right to die Wow

the right to die what do you what is

that suicide which I thought relevant to

the show right because it deals with

medicine and so in this game you know

what’s called the island of Kevorkian

it’s named after dr. Kevorkian and you

are a doctor and you’re trying to

convince people to take the route of

assisted suicide even if they don’t want

to because you get points that way so

even if they’re leaning towards no you

know I’d rather I’d rather try to fight

this thing or whatever your job is for

insurance reasons to sort of push them

towards the assisted suicide rate but

then I don’t run into an issue yourself

when you your character develops cancer

and you have to face the ultimate choice

I do you follow your own advice that

you’ve been selling to other people or

do you go the opposite way and of course

the younger the patient is that you

convince to kill themselves the more

points you get okay I’d call this the

sun’s really ethically bad convincing

people because because if you know

there’s some debate on the letting them

choose this this route but I tell you

everyone should have the freedom to

choose what to do with their own life

but if a video game doctor

convinces them to go one way or the

other who am I to blame well the doctor

it sounds like that the the video game

doctor sounds like the person to blame

because they are pushing someone in one

direction whereas you know physicians

are supposed to sort of present the data

convey the diagnosis and the treatment

options and then let the patient choose

it’s called patient autonomy oh you can

do that but you’re not gonna get as many

points as you need to to get to the next

round yeah I said all day long but

you’re not gonna you’re not gonna make

it on the scoreboard so I don’t know why

you would do that it’s a bad way to play

the game yeah you can play it however

you want I’m sure there’s people who

play Grand Theft Auto and they go 25

miles an hour and they’d stop the

stoplights yeah sure yeah it’s just that

that this sounds really like I said just

ethically you know unsound like I don’t

think that we can really promote this

game there’s actually a multiplier for

the less concerning the diseases because

it’s easy to convince someone to to go

through assisted suicide when you they

have a lethal cancer but convincing

someone to to kill themselves over let’s

say a stubbed toe that’s a lot more

difficult so obviously you’re gonna get

a lot more points for that yeah it’s

like I said I just don’t see how this is

really I I don’t think this is a good

fit for us this game the island of

Kevorkian the first right-to-die video

game rated E for Everyone wait for

everyone for everyone

hello hi dr. London hi dr. London Smith

fell up hey are you up you can’t see me

right now because I’m ended on a

different plane of existence where is

that voice coming from who knows

oh yeah fill up anyways sorry to clarify

yeah Cameron is thinks he’s in another

well he’s playing game and he he thinks

he’s in another sort of dimension under

the blanket it’s fun

where is he I see there’s a lamp under

the blanket but Mr Kenter and I want

star Cameron it’s too hard to explain

Philip it’s one day when you’re an adult

you’ll learn about different planes of

existence that you can go to and there’s

coke there but not today dr. London sir

I just came with some bad news uh we’ve

had to cancel the annual juggle Ducks

parade and also there’s no refunds so

he’ll just you’ll actually owe us for

the seeds oh I guess for our listeners I

should recap a little bit Phillips loss

time Phillip was on the show came in to

try to get us to buy some of his

products that he is finding around the

house and Phillip you’re Cameron’s

neighbour is that right yes I am so

anyways I’m gonna need you’ve already

paid for the tickets but since you’re

not gonna be able to make it to the

juggle Ducks parade I’m going to need

for you to pay for the empty seats as

well okay I’m here to collect the

payment I didn’t sign up to pay for

anything so I don’t think that’s why yes

you did yes sir you did okay thank you

so as you can see we’ve got it itemized

we’ve got you and Mr Cameron’s front row

seats to the juggle ducks Perez you’ve

drawn 1500 each you’ve drawn a picture

of us but yeah with Grandma

yeah to sort of remember you signing us

up for this dr. London you said there’s

no way in hell I would miss this this

sounds like a great way to spend a

Saturday I I feel like I didn’t say that

that doesn’t sound like something I

would say the the attraction of the

juggle Ducks parade which i think was

just as sitting out was it in your

backyard there’s a front lawn so it’s me

and Thomas walking back and forth in our

duck costumes and we’re saying quack

quack yeah that’s what’s here quack

quack juggle ducks here and then we do a

bunch of tic toc dances and you guys

film us from all the different angles

are we talking the box are we talking

blueberry Faygo all of them even say so

by doja cat uh-huh yes I mean dr. London

this does sound like a steal well no for

one thing it doesn’t sound like one at

this point because it’s apparently first

of all I didn’t sign up for it now it’s

cancelled and they’re just trying to

collect money for I guess just listen

toms are tough me and my brother Thomas

need the fundraising money now more than

ever so please you and your brother need

a bailout this does sort of make your

hearing we’re hearing a lot about this

today a lot of companies need some sort

of assistance to get them a lot

especially a lot of entertainment

companies companies where a crowd is

required such as you guys so I mean yeah

I think a bailout makes sense I think

it’s fair dr. London when your dad is so

annoying we’ve got to get to New York

City oh that’s right could you could you

remind us again what was going on with

that just everyday our dad is at home

but he’s say bail up Thomas come outside

I made some food for you covered play

does he talk like that my dad is just so

annoying

why is he he’s so annoying because he

asks you

he tells you that food’s ready he just

always say call help with the dishes

yeah you want to play it some flowers at

the garden

I can’t just like please dad I

completely understand

oh I just want to get away from those

dishes well Paul Cameron the dishes with

you is you bring dishes to the studio

and they’re just covered in just the

lights there’s grease and like it’s

matted I there’s mud on them and I just

don’t I don’t know I don’t know why you

bring into the studio at all how am I

gonna make the pot pie before the show

you expect a pie every show what are we

gonna make that with my hands I’m gonna

stick my hands in the oven

well like because they’re covered in mud

was and so you come anyway that’s why I

tell you it if the chick it’s a

chocolate chicken pot pie okay well so

you know mud and mud and chocolate are

different you know it substances right

mmm no not think so

yeah Philip has actually taught me a lot

about this could you explain that why

chocolate and butter the same thing cuz

you were the way you explained it made

so much sense to me they’re brown huh

okay and I see how that that would be

one way to think of it and I think when

you think about that especially like on

like the larger picture like on a larger

scale people get fixated on sort of like

the micro but I think if you start to

expand it out and look at it more

philosophically on the macro level

chocolate I mean it’s mud Wow I I guess

on my end I don’t really see it that way

I see it as two substances that are very

different like one for instance like on

a basic level one tastes sweet usually

chocolate and then mud mud tastes like

well like what it is which is dirt and I

know you know for Earth Day you were

trying to you know sell the

this whole seeing the earth thing but to

eat it I would say it’s probably not a

good idea I I mean we can we can trust a

doctor for dr. things but why don’t we

trust a geologist like Philip for earthy

thing dr. London do you think that we’re

hearing Cameron’s voice from within or

without I’ve actually been wondering

that too because I know that I’m

projecting into the sort of universe

void that I’m looking into but I don’t

know if that’s sort of speaking to you

from kind of inside your head like your

own consciousness or if it’s more like

someone’s blaring a speaker of my voice

at you but it’s got to be one of those

two things just from my perception it

does look like you’re just under a

blanket and I really think that has to

be a lamp I was in the studio earlier to

do the the chicken pot pie and the

dishes yeah well no I’m not gonna do the

dishes that’s part of the reason I

transcended it into another plane that

in the global pandemic well yeah I mean

that’s secondary but Philip you were

talking about going to New York right

that’s what we’ve been trying to save up

money to do you still haven’t been able

to go no okay mostly because this is

something that I’ve also been wondering

I’m a very inquisitive little boy that’s

what my grandma always says yes so if I

dr. London sir if I get the virus how

will I pay for it because I’m willing to

give up some of my body parts but some

of them I will never give up oh this is

an excellent question as everyone knows

the number one way to pay for your

medical bills is by letting them keep

various body parts after the surgery

right because my grandma had diabetes

and she had to pay for it with her foot

and I think if it depends on the market

in the area but I think like a foot in

the LA area for example was gonna go for

maybe six seven hundred dollars it

depends on the size of the foot

obviously the bigger the foot the better

I feel in London what are your rates

similar so I I think that what you’re

describing is a figure of speech

whatever they say you know I had

diabetes that cost me my foot what they

mean is that the progression of the

disease resulted in you know from the

the neuropathy and everything

I’m guessing they got an infection and

that resulted in them having to have the

limb removed the foot whatever part well

how much will it cost me

because I’m willing to give up some do

you accept like toenails and fingernails

that is very interesting I would say I

think if a foot is going for what I say

before six seven hundred I would think

its own nail would be it well let’s see

you’ve got ten toes so and let’s say mmm

let’s say five percent of it each

toenails so we’re gonna go with about

thirty bucks a toenail doctor London is

that all right

I don’t well no I grow can I grow them

like if I stay at the hospital and I

give a little bit up front if that give

me a month and I’ll come back and I’ll

pay the rest and toenails yeah that’s

fine you can you can be your repeat

customer I would think that there’d

probably be some sort of premium rewards

program right dr. London okay once again

and Cameron you have described before

these rewards programs for the times

that you’ve been to a hospital it’s not

like a punch card like you you don’t

those aren’t in existence at least where

I work that’s not like a normal thing

and also so you guys are bringing up

certain figures of speech so you know

someone might say this cost me an arm

and a leg but those are merely what kind

of disease cost an arm in a leg because

my do not want to give both of those

oh you know what I bet it is boob

implants those are really expensive okay

well yeah well okay so the issue here is

that these are figures of species that

does also I’ve never even thought about

it but that does make sense when you

think about how many people you see who

have had breast implants boob jobs who

are without arms and legs or sorry

without unarmed and a leg you’re walking

on the street you know you go to Macy’s

you know obviously pre Corona you go to

Macy’s or whatever and then you see who

you see hobbling around I these babes I

guess I haven’t noticed that particular

trend of you know a person missing more

than one limb or or any limbs being I

guess plastic surgery like haven’t been

worked on but in any case so figure of

speech do you guys know that term maybe

that’s the problem here because so a

figure of speech is you know like a word

or a phrase that sounds like one thing

but it means another thing so when

someone says that it something costs

them an arm and a leg what that means is

that it was expensive and not you know

not necessarily and probably not costing

them an actual arm or leg man Thomas

just want to get to New York City so bad

we just got to get out of here my dad is

just so annoying and that’s a place

where you can go to be free from your

dad to to New York and so well right now

especially New York is maybe not the

best place to go I assume by the time

this this episode is released that that

things will not have improved enough for

you to go there safely but in general

for a six-year-old you probably

shouldn’t be you know heading places

with that cadence

I just want to go to the very top of the

world

but if I can’t go there I’ll go to the

very bottom of the world Oh we’ll go to

California that’s the same thing right I

was gonna say what what makes you think

that California is the bottom of the

world that’s just the bottom of the

world on the map on which it is true if

you do hold the map like I do which is

where the East Coast is north and the

West Coast is south then California is

at the bottom because if you don’t the

the way we accept our globes you know

that’s not exactly correct there is no

up and down like objectively what does

it look like where you are Mr Cameron no

the same I turn my maps that way that

way it looks like a spaceship like it’s

launching into space America if I meant

in the in-between yeah no it’s the same

I brought a poster of the Union and I

turned it sideways I rotated it counter

clockwise 90 degrees okay

well okay so so California is actually

to the west of the United States um yeah

okay and but in any case going to the

far north or far south conditions there

can be pretty cold either way you go so

I would say maybe just um

you know maybe just try to learn to get

along with your dad Phillip he’s so

annoying I was always saying comment on

the live a girl would play board games

with me

[Music]

why well Phillip have you ever thought

about maybe you know a lot of people

don’t have games to play and or people

to play them with and maybe your dad has

been very nice to you dr. Lynn please do

not bring up that the perfect ideal life

for me and I’m not saying your life is

perfect because we all have our

struggles but um you know it doesn’t

sound so so bad to have someone there to

play a game with does your dad or you

are you homeschooling right now we’re

always homeschooled okay always with

your dad is that right who’s your dad

stay at home where does he work

sometimes he works what does your dad do

he’s a governor of Texas Oh interesting

that would be annoying I mean dr. Lunney

we got to get these kids to New York

right quickly

I still don’t see Cameron Mr Cameron

could you please take me to the in

between I know I’m only on the mezzanine

portion of quarantine but please just

let me transcend quicker unfortunately I

do not think you can bring guests with

you I think it has to be earned on your

own right I will look into that so maybe

I can contact some of our

representatives here in the in between

maybe coca-cola can help me out because

they did get a whole Factory up here so

I’m gonna work on this but as of right

now you have to elevate yourself how

much do I have to pay to elevate you I

would say probably I mean I would say

probably a hand and a half okay and once

again that is a figure of speech so it’s

not like unless Cameron your system

actually involves cutting off limbs only

because your system does I sell it

straight to doctors okay I and has that

been helpful have they wanted that I get

a check in the mail from don’t ask

questions

okay all right well I you know this is

this has been enlightening yes

phillup it’s been great to have you back

sure why why you’re even here as opposed

here to collect payment with your I

already told you and I’ve been writing

for the credit card you got a pair Y and

so I know I think oh wait I didn’t I

said I have your card on file

Oh perfect that one actually might be

cancelled but do you take a cashier’s

check

no do you have venmo oh yeah we convened

my year we haven’t we have a company

then no account no okay no so I just

we Cameron you can’t keep doing this we

can’t keep just throwing out with me

because so it you said it was fifteen

hundred dollars a seat and how many

seats are there three oh okay

so we’re talking $4,500 all right let me

just VIN mo that to you know as well

which is round that up to us even 5000

all right sit pleasure doing business

with you gentlemen

bye dr. London bye mr. Cameron where

were you are see ya don’t forget hands

and a half goodbye Philip I guess thank

you to Philip for being on the show

again

um it’s great I guess great having them

back thank you to our producer Cameron

as always yep thank you too did you know

the host dr. London

[Music]

this every day

our dad is at home do you say Bella

Thomas come outside I made something for

you come and play mr. Cameron

my name is dr. London smith.com and this

has been the jock doc podcast see ya

[Music]

the crunch of gravel fills your ears as

he trudged up the driveway you are

kicking yourself for doing this at all

but then you stop kicking yourself

because that only causes more gravel

sounds then it hits you the wall that is

you you walked into a wall and also the

other thing that you were you know your

kicks

speaking of hitting the wall it looks

like we are at the end of this episode

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peek at our posts on social media we are

@JockDocPodcast thanks for

listening

[Music]

[Applause]

Hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice if you need

medical advice or medical care please

contact your doctor welcome to the Jock Talk Show

featuring Mr Cameron introducing your

host mr. Cameron how’s everyone doing

cha-cha-cha-cha stocks yes my beautiful

audience

doc doc hello hello hello everyone and

welcome to another episode of the new

and improved Jock Talk sure thank you

thank you children all right now

everyone here knows what the deal is

we’re a medical podcast but we’re a cool

medical podcast we’re a podcast turn a

TV show we’re a TV show turn an

entertainment Empire and we are going

further than we’ve ever gone before

isn’t that right everyone that’s right

and we have a special guest here with us

today to help us launch a new era for

jock doc you know him you already love

them it’s a blast from the past it’s

sort of a reunion you might say it’s the

one and only original host of Jock Doc

Dr. London come on out here Dr. London

doggone guys give it up for Dr. London

come on

okay yeah thanks thanks Cameron this is

kind of a different introduction than

I’m used to

oh why is that dr. London oh you you’re

used to your doing your old ways of

things well just it’s my show and this

is weird though what well I mean you

know my name is on it okay okay

laughter one

surely you’re aware of the circumstances

you as we all know you have been sick

for the last few weeks and so I was in

charge of taking over Joc doc yes and so

we started a new era of Joc doc well so

I was I was taking a nice toast and now

I’m the new aside from the fact that you

know I didn’t really sign on to this why

do you have this a podcast but you have

a lot of cameras here it’s a podcast

it’s a TV show it’s a media empire so it

doesn’t look like the cameras are

plugged in but you do have cameramen

behind them I don’t know what those

things are and I don’t know who those

people are but they’re here and I’m

paying them okay

isn’t that right everyone that’s right

now dr. London I want to talk to you

it’s been so long

I know you’re probably it’s probably

weird for you being back on the set of

your old show but what have you been up

to how have things been since you’ve

retired okay I guess I should clarify

I’ve been working more like I haven’t

retired I guess maybe because I haven’t

been able to come into the studio as

much you’ve thought that it’s retirement

but that’s just no so I’ve been I’ve

been isolating a lot you’re saying

you’re spending your retirement working

that’s fine that’s great the great

answer dr. London and everyone just cheer

for dr. London okay

there it is dr. London no I mean have

you gone on vacation or anything have

you have you have you gotten to travel

like you always wanted to I mean you’re

retired for god sakes

well so no I’m not so this is there’s

I’m not sure if you’re aware but there’s

actually a pandemic currently so that’s

really been where my focus has been oh

boo we don’t like to hear that word

pandemic that’s a negative word you

don’t bring negative words okay everyone

I okay everyone we don’t bring negative

words into positive spaces and this is a

positive space okay so I guess if you’re

running the show today

so you’ve the the cameraman there it

looks like you have a stage manager what

that’s right Cynthia yeah hi Cynthia

so why she’s billing you from the sides

but you Cynthia you don’t have to do

that

[Music]

[Applause]

okay so what did you have planned I

assume you’re still gonna like do you

have a medical lesson because that’s

really the point of this it’s a medical

education podcast well I think that that

portion of the show we’re gonna call

that the Alpha portion right like it’s a

it’s in it’s like a program that’s an

alpha now we have moved on to production

and so we’re gonna leave some of that

stuff from the previous version behind

so the stuff that everyone hated stuff

that people found annoying the stuff

that people frankly a lot of our

listeners I’ve read a lot of suicide

notes that make that they timestamp

where they were in the podcast when they

finally pulled the trigger and it’s

almost always during the medical portion

that’s what pushed them over the edge

and so I think for the safety of our

audience we have to be considerate of

our audience but dr. Linden I guess you

know what for old times sake is that I’m

so glad that you’re here and now you

know everyone’s been wondering what

you’ve been up to and ever since you’ve

been gone and everything and so as a

gift to you I would love to hear a

medical lesson okay so the medical

lesson that I had planned for this week

and I was I was still gonna do it on the

the regular show its mitral stenosis

so mitral stenosis is a scarring and a

narrowing of the mitral valve orifice

typically due to rheumatic heart disease

and rheumatic heart disease immune

mediated damage to the mitral valve

caused by cross reactivity between the

streptococcal antigen and the valve

tissue leads to the aforementioned

scarring and narrowing of the mitral

valve orifice dr. London dr. London can

we stop for a second you are I mean you

were speeding through this are you

nervous is that the audience is that the

show is it that you know obviously

people are gonna be comparing your

hosting abilities to my hosting

abilities and you’re not gonna be able

to compete or what I mean what’s going

on man let’s talk this through

so part of it is

that you know we’re supposed to be

isolating and I see you have a studio

audience gathered here so I wanted to

kind of as write things that this passes

like because that doesn’t seem

appropriate you know like it seems like

this should be shut down right now you

dr. Lennon you it’s because you don’t

know all the details okay everyone here

in this audience has been extremely

extremely careful over the last few

weeks because they have autoimmune

issues so they okay autoimmune issues so

they’re more at risk to develop the

disease right but they’ve been extra

careful from the beginning and now we’ve

got them all in here as opposed to out

in the world and now it would like

shopping at Target whatever we’ve got

them all in one building to keep them

safe and I think everyone is having a

great time and everyone is having the

time of their life on the jock talk show

[Applause]

so the main issue is that for one thing

Cameron I don’t know how careful you’ve

been I’ve been around you know some

potentially you know contaminated

patients so I’m it’s better if we keep

our distance and better if everyone

remain isolated do you understand how

that yeah and just to clarify you you

said you didn’t know how careful I’m

being I’m not being careful at all I’m

kind of taking the attitude of it either

doesn’t exist or if it does exist I want

it really badly because I kind of feel

left out if I don’t get it okay well let

me go on with the medical lesson and

once again I’ll just try to be brief as

as brief as I can be with such a sort of

heavy topic so Marshall stenosis results

in elevated left atrial pressure or

pressure in the upper left chamber of

the heart and lung venous pressure this

backup of low ratings to the lungs

limiting as you speak leads to pulmonary

congestion long-standing mitral stenosis

can result in pulmonary hypertension

I wanna ultimately can result in right

ventricular failure

long-standing mitral stenosis can also

lead to atrial fibrillation due to entry

increased left atrial size and pressure

so clinically mitral stenosis can

present with exertional shortness of

breath difficulty breathing while lying

down and paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea

which is an attack of severe shortness

of breath and coughing that typically

wakes a person up from sleep patients

may also have palpitations chest pain

and coughing up blood thromboembolism

associated with the atrial fibrillation

can also occur kidneys Santa on twitter

has written the more dr. London speaks

the harder I push the knife into my arm

as some swelling and edema nose known as

ascites if if right heart failure occurs

and that’s the right lower heart chamber

so those are the symptoms but the things

that a physician can objectively measure

refer to as signs are as follows so you

have mitral stenosis

heart murmur which comes another tweet

from Dwayne that jock dock fan he says

the more dr. London speaks the more I

refuse to speak ever again

because if this is what human voice

sounds like then I don’t want anyone to

suffer through that that’s a huge fan of

ours his screen name is Dwayne the jock

dock fan okay I realize that but we

really have to

okay so mitral stenosis heart murmur

which consists of an opening snap

followed by a low pitch diastolic Rumble

and pre systolic accentuation with

long-standing disease there may also be

signs of right ventricular failures such

as enlarged neck veins enlarged livers

swelling and/or pulmonary hypertension

all signs and symptoms will increase

with exercise and during pregnancy so

diagnosis will typically begin with an

x-ray and that would show maybe left

atrial enlargement early on and we are

down to 0-0 listeners now echocardiogram

is the most important test in confirming

the diagnosis and will show left atrial

enlargement a thick calcified mitral

valve a narrow fish mouth shaped orifice

and signs of right ventricular finish

mouth shaped orifice I haven’t been

listening to anything you’ve been saying

but I did hear that

okay so treatment includes diuretics for

pulmonary congestion edema beta blockers

to decrease heart rate and cardiac

output

if atrial fibrillation is present that

should be treated accordingly but that’s

its own topic for severe disease

percutaneous balloon valvuloplasty

usually produces excellent results

balloon plasti and as for other options

valve ah t’me is contraindicated open ,

sirata me and mitral valve replacement

are other options so for our listeners

I’m sorry if if that’s if that was

difficult for some of you did its yeah

it was very very difficult in dr. London

again it feels like you’re wearing sort

of a mask and not the mask that you

should be wearing in this day and age

talking about your putting up a front

and you’re using this medical knowledge

and your your medical know-how to not be

the real you you’re hiding behind these

lessons about fish mouth balloons and

beta-blockers okay I guess this does go

this is the jock talk show the new and

improved jock talk show we don’t just

get into the hard facts but we also get

into the hard facts of your heart and

that’s what we’re gonna do here today

dr. London what is wrong with you okay

so you have been going on about this for

a while the what you call the rise of

vigilantism in medicine and the rest of

the world just because people are

wearing masks masks doesn’t mean that

they’re trying to be vigilantes

superheroes mm yes they are one two your

mask is medicine three that means you’re

trying to be a superhero okay and so

there is sort of a professional aspect

to the the I guess I in to some extent

you might argue that I have a medical

persona because there’s a professional

element to it but you know we all have

our professional element so we put on

whenever we go to our right and you keep

saying all of this all these sentences

and none of them are addressing the

question which is what is wrong with you

let’s dig into this dr. London this is

your one opportunity in front of our our

hardcore dedicated fans the people who

are still listening which used after

they turned the podcast slash o /

Enterprise back on okay I figured you

were probably done with your lesson okay

it’s time for you to be the real

and with the audience in a little bit

instead of hiding let’s talk about it

dr. London who are you okay I’m a person

really that’s the yeah calm down yeah

calm down

that’s the with that when someone asks

who are you your response says I’m a

person that’s weird

I’m just not really sure what you’re

looking for here just who are you could

answer in any way dr. London in every

other way would be better than a person

okay I’m not a vigilante okay that’s

fine

whoo god I did not realize this was

gonna be so difficult just to get you to

say just normal person things okay

so you know what was your childhood like

is that is that a little more direct or

something where you from so for my

childhood I I think I had a pretty nice

normal childhood I mean I was a child

ahead so that was something okay so this

is something we’ve never talked about on

the show ever

yeah just that doesn’t come easy listen

you’re a child actor so what was that

like did you take any of your acting

experience into your medical profession

yeah well just being clear spoken you

know preparing properly public speaking

all that sort of thing

god this is just this is just the worst

interview that’s I am so sorry I didn’t

[Music]

why social services am I the only one

you’re interviewing today ah ah guys

again I am so so sorry okay Wolfe days

do you have a guest planned or anything

yeah I’ve got just just just give the

audience something can you just get the

audience like a secret do you have a

secret that you can give okay so last

weekend I tried to do one of those

virtual dates okay and how did that go

the way it’s supposed to work I think is

that their screen will show their face

and then your screen like like your

cameras will both be activated so that

you can talk to each other right yeah so

mine I could see my face but their

camera was turned off and then they kept

sort of asking me for information like

uh like what kind of information

oh it was just general date stuff I

guess like it was like you know where do

you live and I was like the Dallas area

no matter what I said they were

surprised and really interested and

they’re like oh wow

tell me more and it it seemed like every

question narrowed down a lot of

specifics it was asking mother’s maiden

name what was your childhood first pet

okay so you’ve done some of these dating

things too then

oh yeah it’s completely normal okay

because yeah they can’t they got you

know like what’s your address I want to

you know mill you a chocolate or

something I’m like oh cool I guess I’ll

ask for theirs too what’s your mother’s

maiden name because uh if I ever run

into her I want to say I know her made a

name and it’s like okay that makes sense

so of course you’re gonna give that yeah

well and it’s one of those things we’re

like it’s come up for me before like my

mom like me remembering her maiden name

has come in handy so I’m guessing that

someone else running into her maybe the

same thing could happen so anyway it was

the date I I guess it was so what I

guess let’s that’s great what’s the

secret part of this date I guess well it

was just the date went so well once

again I felt like I did a lot of the

talking which I guess what is

and that’s the secret part is that the

date went well yeah I normally don’t

talk about the ones that go so well well

first of all you’ve never had a day

koelz

one what – that’s not a secret that’s

just a that’s just like a fact okay I

get the fact that the day went well no

just like a thing you did last night

yeah I guess just a lot of people know

it which makes it a secret to me and I

haven’t shared it no that’s not a seat

just because you haven’t shared

something yet does not make it a secret

I have not shared that this morning

I ate 74 bowls of frosted flakes but not

the kind you’re thinking of but that

doesn’t make it a secret I just haven’t

told anyone that yeah I guess I don’t

really follow but we can let’s maybe

move on from there i I really we should

get to these other guests of yours well

this is my show and we follow where I

lead now my what is there to not to get

just cuz you haven’t shared something

yet doesn’t mean it’s a secret okay I

guess I don’t have a secret for you and

is you don’t you can’t give our audience

one damn thing just something juicy I

did my personal life you said that you

went on a date and you told someone your

social security number I didn’t wait how

do you know that I said that oh um

because that that’s actually one of the

top ten date questions huh okay so maybe

I should get a hold these top ten date

questions that sounds useful yeah it’s

just on it’s just an email that you’ll

get from me okay that’s where you’ll

find them okay well I don’t so the top

ten dating tips from you yeah it’s not

like a website you can access it’s an

email that you will be receiving from me

the top ten date tips that’s where I

found all this information but never

mind so dr. London he doesn’t have a

secret which you know what that means if

someone doesn’t have a secret it

probably means they’re a murderer or

some sort of a kidnapper so let’s move

on to our next guest

yeah or to any guest because I’m the

host of the podcast so it doesn’t really

you are yours can you stick around dr.

London for the rest of the show yeah no

that’s that’s my role in the show I’m

the host we have today a very very

special guest one of the most special

guests that we’ve ever had this is a

guest that you might recognize if you’re

an old school fan but if you’re a new

school friend then you might not know

him but you’ll know him now please

welcome to the show

sage everyone what is he doing here well

I’m I’m the host you said that he wasn’t

on the show in you you said that he

wasn’t the host anymore he’s not the

host anymore he is now just some sort of

a freak that we keep around well do not

get close to me okay I’ve got my Apple

rosary on today that means you cannot

get near me okay I think the the goal my

goal right now is to convert dr.

London’s role into more of a Guillermo

on Jimmy Kimmel kind of position so I

don’t know who that is

he’s like kind of the doorman or

something okay so sage I do want to

bring up that you said that

it’s sage I’m actually governor sage

Daniels now Wow you don’t say

[Applause]

I won’t touch it those knees up first of

all so say touch the listeners up on you

trying to take control of my show well

just I bring you on it just as a good

gesture

I just want to and you’re like but yeah

go ahead catch everyone yeah so miss

Daniels here was on the podcast on our

first episode actually and she came on a

few days after she had had a child and

let’s see she was running for a corner

office at the time she was trying to

sell her essential art inside her

spiritual oil and actually co-founder of

a life-changing medication really called

spiritual oils that was kind of the base

level where I started this journey and a

lots happened along the way mostly what

I’m excited about is something that’s

necessary for this time I’ve begun to

offer Ora cleanses interesting and so I

go in and I have to spend a lot of time

really staring deeply into your eyes I

try to get as close as I possibly can to

see every part of your eye as you can

see I’m doing that now – Cameron I’m

looking deeply deeply into your eyes now

what what what kind of cleanse is this

the aura

version of you know there’s all sorts of

like normal cleanses you’ve got you’re

just like you’re like oh lonely fruit

and water type cleanses and then you’ve

got the ones where you try to like

eliminate all sugars and everything like

that what is the what are we doing right

now so this is kind of like I don’t know

if you have ever heard of this thing

called psyllium husk but you drink the

psyllium husk and it expands in your

colon and it goes into all the looks and

little crannies of your colon and it

pulls out all of the food that’s left

over and so this is kind of like the

spiritual version of the sort of this is

where the spiritual version of of

digging out poop particles exactly and

that’s what we need in this time more

than ever flushing out fart

Thank You DJ Dylan so as you can see I’m

looking deep into your aura and I’m

seeing that there is a blockage Cameron

have you recently had a devil’s food

cake yeah possibly get out all right

did you just remove the Devils from the

devil’s food cake in my body you might

need to just relax because I have

removed the cake as well and so that’s

gonna be passing pretty soon and so

you’re just gonna want to sit very still

because it can be painful so just relax

which where is this pink where is that

gonna be painful going to be painful in

the fish mouth orifice okay you say this

as if that’s a part of your digestive

tract the the part I was referring to

the medical lesson is in your heart

that’s the end of the digestive tract Oh

like so no it isn’t it’s actually that’s

in your heart that’s the mitral valve

get away from me get away from me dr.

London respect our guests I’m sorry uh

my guests

cuz you’re not the host anymore it’s my

show mine yes it’s dr. Cameron’s show

thank you finally someone gets it no

sage I want you to look in dr. London’s

eyes and I want you to tell just in the

same way that you’ve helped clear my

aura and I just feel so much lighter

right now I feel so much better my feet

aren’t doing the like shaky thing

anymore my thumb is still black and blue

but if I do this if I pull it all the

all the way it hurts a lot and I think

that’s good so you’ve I mean I’ve seen

the effects that you’ve had on my body

can we can we do the same thing with dr.

London I’ll try but it’s his aura just

like it

the stench the stench I don’t think I

could get any closer because of the

stench and the burning sensation that

I’m feeling hey what what is the stitch

that you’re smelling on dr. London

because I’m getting a sort of like

Cologne yeah but it’s like a the Cologne

that like like a like a like a loser

would have like well it’s French I don’t

know if that’s I’m just released just

the smell of the curve is that what

you’re wearing are kind of clothes I

guess

Chrome

but that’s okay guys it’s okay everyone

buckle in and can you fix your smell

real quick so we can continue the show

pause the cameras well the cameras are

not turned on which again I don’t know

what those things are I don’t know who

those people are I’m just paying a baby

[Applause]

now I really am tired of acknowledging

dr. London

I just his smell his aura the burning

sensation that’s coming off of him I’m

just I’m getting done where is it

burning here just any time I get near

him it’s like the whole front of my body

starts to burn oh it’s like standing too

close to like an IHOP that you set on

fire yes I feel that I just can’t do it

anymore so what I’d like to I’d like to

kind of do something a little different

I’m gonna do a live I know I did a or a

reading on you Cameron but we kind of

know each other we have a rapport I’d

like to demonstrate on someone that I

yeah I’m your number one customer yeah

I’d like to demonstrate on someone that

I’ve never met or seen before so Cynthia

can you bring over this person that you

brought off of the street Thank You

Cynthia you thank you all right young

lady

Oh what is this what what is your name

my name is Betty bless you today I’m

going to do if you don’t mind I’d like

to do an aura read it I don’t mind at

all

oh I’m sorry I’m asking Betty if she

whole I do it oh yeah no I just I just

no one was talking to me for a while so

I just thought maybe I kind of got

lonely but go ahead Betty have you I’m

just kind of right now I’m getting very

close as you can see but I’m really

looking deep into your eyes and I’m

trying to figure out what the blockage

is in your life uh have you recently

watched that 70s show I watched your

head before this

[Music]

get out oh my god

she’s she’s looking the same as before

but how do you feel Betty I’ve been

doing a lot of Yoda

so I feel good

Wow good oh my gosh everyone give a hand

for what we’ve just seen today she’s not

I just want to clarify this is not my

daughter

nope go ahead Betty dear dear I am me I

mean a bit more about how I’m feeling

actually can I ask Betty a question real

quick please Betty are you sages

daughter I am NOT sages daughter nope

okay I will take that to the grave

moving on so how do you feel Betty tell

us tell us really I feel relaxed I feel

trapped you feel trapped

in what way emotionally my Yoda has

caught one of my legs scrunched and it’s

trapped

I’ve been doing Yoda where you do poses

to make yourself more relaxed yes so I

got one of my legs stuck and it’s made

me feel trapped and emotionally and

physically actually my leg was stuck

it’s not anymore but my emotions have

not recovered your emotions haven’t

caught up to your physical space exactly

you said it is that is that the kind of

thing that can be be cleared out with

your voodoo or whatever no unfortunately

not

you can’t clear out a like whatever like

a leg being trapped by a Yoda scrunchie

no I can only get rid of things that

have been consumed I consumed something

during that 70 show you were consuming

that 70s show visual day that is

absolutely true you know sometimes I’ve

taken certain sounds out of people that

they’ve consumed through their ears or

certain smells that they’ve consumed

through their nose I this is or a

cleansing it’s the things that you

consume that trap you so could it be

that she had consumed Yoda to such an

extent that it’s trapped herself inside

of it I see that your live audience is

very uncomfortable they’re very upset

and so I’m gonna go down now into the

audience I’m gonna start doing a few or

a cleansing on your audience if that’s

all right with you let’s just shade

let’s get this into a safe positive zone

yes absolutely

and this is gonna be great because a lot

of our audience if you remember they

haven’t touched anyone in weeks

because they’ve been trying to stay safe

so I mean just the fact that you’re

gonna be able to hold on to them and and

look them so you don’t kinetically I

should say I’m not okay with this

boo boo boo who shut up

now say it go ahead all right I’m gonna

go down I’m gonna have a private

experience with each of your

audience members now so if you would go

ahead and speak with Betty here who once

again is not my daughter

so Betty since you’ve been working with

sage which is only a few minutes because

you did not know her beforehand how was

your life changed I feel much lighter I

only feel a little stuck except when I

think about it but I do I do think that

my aura may have had some cleansing and

maybe next time I I won’t watch that 70

show when I do Yoda that makes so much

sense and that that is a huge growth

that you found here today isn’t can we

give Betty a hand everyone and I want to

thank you because I think this is really

going to change my life

I think after this we might be able to

cut my meds in half after this what

after my aura cleansing what kind of

meds are you gonna cut in half just what

they give me about 12 a day I mean

that’s a huge step going from 12 pills

to 6 pills

dr. London even you have to admit this

aura cleansing works right well I I

guess I’m confused about

for one thing what what the pills are I

I guess during this time of isolation

what have you been going through Betty

it started with just a little anxiety

until I started doing the Yoda and it

turned into less anxiety until my leg

became trapped and I became trapped and

I came to you all for help

and I do feel a lot better as I had

previously stated so the pills you were

taking were anxiety pills yeah I mean it

started just to a day and I kept

doubling it and they clarified they were

anti-anxiety pills correct yes yes anti

I mean they cause anti-anxiety they

cause anti-anxiety that day so eyes so

they don’t a negative a negative anxiety

they cause anti-anxiety yeah I mean that

that’s to go from 12 of those a day down

to 6 but with a combination of Yoda and

sages aura cleansing I mean that that’s

a huge step yeah I mean I’m mind blown I

can’t even I mean are you you keep you

did keep mentioning that you’re like

less trapped now and less stuck are you

still a little stuck physically I mean

I’m not gonna be able to move my foot

until I see a doctor

okay so you’re still stuck right now you

did kept you kept insisting that you

were no longer making swing does sound

like you can see your leg over your head

right now it’s just sort of hard to tell

because half of her body is covered in

the like blanket thingy the weighted

blame like you’ve got to be stuck we

know that you’re stuck I’m

you can’t lie about being set up but

emotionally I’m very freed I can feel in

my bones and in each of my veins that

and that is HUGE we have say to them

that’s a thank for that

get out thank you are we ready for our

next guest dr. London I’m I’m ready i I

didn’t schedule any of this I’m not

Gordon but yeah it looks like there’s

someone else here hey guys video

chatting in from my bunker that’s right

who are we talking to today talk to our

audience oh hey guys this is Priscilla

how are you oh we’re doing great back

here on land earth I’m in it too oh but

you’re more in it than us

we’re we’re on top of the ground here

but you sound like you’re in some sort

of a bunker is that right yeah well you

know I forgot what it’s even like out

there oh you know it’s the same as

always

isn’t that right dr. London no it’s it’s

much different from always so well yeah

I mean it’s completely different than

normal then it’s ever been yeah but so

you live Priscilla you live in a bunk is

it alright if I call you Priscilla

first of all yes that’s my name okay

yeah Priscilla why are you in this

bunker well you know I started taking

precautions I have 10 years of

experience living in quarantine

so I’m sorry no I just did it 10 years

you have 10 10 years of experience

living in Goulet went how long have you

been in quarantine well I mean as of

right now it’s at 3 years because I had

to go to my cousin’s wedding I can’t

miss it but before that I was

underground for seven years

oh right and you couldn’t miss that I I

mean they’re there

best friends so how can I miss it and so

you’ve been preparing you’ve been in

quarantine since about 2010 is that

about right yes and so yeah what would

you said in preparation for I think

generally I was gonna assume it was

coronavirus but what were you preparing

for in 2010 was that like well we

preparing for like Mumford & Sons

actually I it wasn’t that I am preparing

for anything

I’m just taking precautions as of you

know what if what if what if Wow

powerful words from from our guest from

the bunker now I have to wonder what

what is the if that you are talking

about what do you what are you most

worried about well I thought I should

build my own house you know in 2010 I

was thinking should I build my own house

well rut if it burned down should I you

know buy some land no cuz they can just

take it away but if you’re in the land

nobody knows and nobody can take that

away from you well I I don’t think

that’s true at all nope in any way but

it’s interesting is that right dr. Londe

yes yeah it doesn’t really add up to me

that much so so is for no reason that

you decided to go underground except for

the what-if scenario of what if anything

happened at all well I I do understand

the fear of building a house and

worrying that it’s gonna burn down I

understand that and so you refused to

die I refused to do most things in my

day-to-day life out of fear that I’m

gonna end up burning it down whatever

the thing is yeah well you know I bet

you worry about lots of little things

during the day that I don’t ever think

about because I don’t even know I don’t

even think about them anymore see that

you’re you’re convincing me you’re this

might be the ideal life yeah well let’s

hope so

with all of this kovin stuff dr. London

do you think that our guest here is

gonna be gonna be safe in her bunker as

the medical expert of the show I don’t

know the specifics of her bunker like

but assuming you’ve had no contact with

any other people

I have TV and I mean can y’all hear me

my connections pretty good

I have internet too I’m sorry I meant

physical contact with people like have

you been within six feet of people say

do you consider what you consider seeing

someone on TV the same as having contact

with them well yeah I mean with social

media you don’t even need to see people

in person really yeah no that is very

true TV is not social media you are not

I’m already watching an episode of if

you’re watching an episode of Friends

you are not watching people for real

through social media you’re just

watching and this might just take too

long to explain could you could you

describe your bunker for us like what

what is your bunker made out of what

what does it look like what do you what

do you what do you have for the end of

times that you’re you’re stalking away

it’s not for the end of times it’s just

precautionary and I mean I don’t worry

about that kind of thing because I’m

already prepared so everyone can wonder

about the end times me I’ll be fine

okay so when I had asked what your

bunker was made out of and what you’ve

stowed away you’re saying that you

haven’t put thought into stuff like that

for ten years this just has not crossed

your mind having stuff or even what it’s

made out of it’s made out of metal and

okay there’s a start what else would you

like to know about it the layout because

I have a nice bed yeah just like what

what have you taken down there in the

bunker with you to you know help keep

you saying what kind of foods are you

storing down there oh yeah canned foods

you can also you can hear the rabbits

when they’re above the cell door to my

bunker so you can

and trap them so you are going to the

surface to to trap these in a yes why

not okay

yeah how far underground is a spunk er

oh it’s just barely underground okay and

when you say bunker do you mean like a

locked like you can’t escape kind of

fortress kind of thing or you sound so

casual about it I’m almost tempted to

think is it a basement by any chance

it’s not a basement London there’s no

house on top but it’s not anything scary

it’s just like a little house but

underneath the ground and you know a

location where not many people know

where it is so what do you even know

what’s going on and on the surface and

the real world like why are you even

calling in today they call me the

quarantine expert so I’m here to lend my

advice is this your look doing what

doctor London this is the expert no this

is you Cameron you were the one who do

this is the expert this is the guest you

brought me some sort of a prank is that

what we’re talking about dr. London no

so Cameron

whenever you arranged this this is all

your you book that gas was this in one

of your I don’t want to call it like a

stupor but sometimes you get into these

states where you do things especially in

regard to the show that you don’t

remember afterwards and you contact

people

oh my stupor stuff yeah your stupor

state you say it like it’s a super state

like you’re proud of it well of course

I’m proud of it it’s my favorite state

yeah and I I feel like you’re in it a

lot and the problem with it is that we

have guests like this who it sounds like

she just slow stress in there she in

that state she seems to just live just

cash she lives underground because she

comes up for whatever she wants and you

can see on the video the live feed we

have here like it just looks like a

normal basement yeah it doesn’t we’ve

been calling it up

I wouldn’t even know if it’s a basement

I think it’s maybe just a house that

sunk a little bit is is that does that

accurately describe Priscilla what

you’re staying in I mean you two

obviously aren’t going to believe me

nope no we’re not well the window there

we can see through the window behind

your head that there’s dirt like up

halfway well you know there’s a guy

there I painted that he’s waving at you

oh you painted that window yeah it looks

like that guy’s waving but he’s not oh

he is holding still I see it’s just my

internet in here you know always cutting

in and out Priscilla we’ve got a lot of

people here today watching our show and

listening to our show and in the

audience right here who are very

concerned about the current times and

how they to sort of one a quarantine

even if it’s not required some states

that’s required some it’s not but even

everywhere people are wanting to kind of

hole up do you have any advice for them

yes good things to do to stay busy you

know you could do some leg exercises I

don’t have too much room in the bunker

so I like to do Yoda to stretch out a

little bit horizontal bicycles where you

pertain you’re on a bicycle while you

lay on your bed snacks are always good

yes if you have a lot of time on your

hands

cook them the old-fashioned way so that

you know you won’t be bored or what is

it what is the old-fashioned way of a

snack

yeah I’m not following that either oh my

bad I forget how it is up there yeah

it’s different here we just we just have

our snacks and it’s not a matter of time

necessarily that stops us from having

them or not well first up go get wood

okay okay this is the first step of the

making a snack this is the old-fashioned

way

of making a snacking with audience are

you listening audience step to build a

fire I’m sorry underground just you have

to open the door in the top yeah I think

it’s been well established here that she

kind of just comes and goes as she

pleases the sealed aspect of the bunker

is not I don’t think it’s functioning

properly I never said it was sealed

because I need some fresh air sometimes

I’m not a crazy person

I just live underground right yeah that

okay and that and that is true so what

what else step 2

build a fire step 3 open your can of

beans it I suggest you get a can opener

I got one finally I finally got one end

it really changed my life I have a lot

more time on my hands now what were you

doing what were you doing before you

were spending you were just spending a

lot of time trying to open these cans of

beans or were you not even bothering

before I will you know I had a knife and

everyday it was a huge struggle sounds

like that sounds awful especially since

you could have just gotten a can opener

at any time because you as we’ve

mentioned you kind of just come and go

as you please well I’ve only been out

for one weekend and it was just for my

cousin’s wedding I couldn’t miss it

except for all the times that you go to

set rabbit traps and whatnot well that’s

just outside I don’t have any human

contact and one clarification do you

order things online still no my mom

delivers groceries every week and jewel

pods get out so your mom is delivering

groceries every week but you’re still

insisting on eating only canned beans is

that this very interesting quarantine

prep but I do I do like it I respect it

it’s not prep remember it’s precaution

its precautions that’s right

so audience I think some of the things

you take away from this take it in it

and include it in your own quarantine as

we’re talking eating lots of beans

getting your mom to deliver like food

and stuff whenever you need it you can

come and go as you please it doesn’t

really matter and if you want to order

something have your mom order it and

she’ll just bring it over when she drops

off the groceries I Rd is this about

right Priscilla that’s how I’ve made it

for immunocompromised audience I would

say that probably take more precautions

than this in terms of your approach to

isolation you you don’t want to be

around people a lot or go to the surface

well depending on where you live

that is true dr. Linda and I appreciate

those tips you guys we know that you

know not everyone here is the healthiest

individual so you it is smart to listen

to dr. London but before we leave today

everyone hold hands like we always do

know everyone hold and hold it tight get

just get real in there every audience

member touching every other audience

member this is when you’re glad you’re

in the bunker yeah it’s not safe Cameron

for all of us to hold hands everyone

holding hands sage how are we doing down

there is have you have you gotten to

everyone’s over I’ll get out

all right I think I went through

everyone everyone is now cleansed and I

would I did it a little bit of some

breathing techniques with some of your

audience members some of your more

vulnerable audience members just to kind

of give them a little blessing of

protection by what I for the breathing

treatment I just kind of breathe deeply

into their mouths and then they breathe

out into my mouth and I absorb some of

the negative things that they keep

within their lungs so this is that

amazing for that good you use tongue for

that if it’s a very severe and very

vulnerable person yes I will if I need

to it’s you it’s just showing respect

well it’s like you know giving

mouth-to-mouth resuscitation

you know you sometimes you have to step

in and just basically kiss someone to

save their life and this is kind of the

same type of thing yeah like sometimes

you know sometimes you’re at a pool or

whatever and you see like like a

beautiful woman and she’s drowning or

whatever and you have to pull her out of

the pool and then you have to put her in

like an outfit that like you really like

and like picked out for her and stuff

like that and then like maybe you take

her to dinner or something like that and

then you can do like like mouth-to-mouth

right and that’s your approach to

helping heal someone is the same

approach that you use for a beautiful

woman who’s drowning well kind of like

what Priscilla was talking about is more

precautionary you know I know that this

person that I’m dealing with they are

very immunocompromised they are very

susceptible to this so I’m just gonna go

ahead and give them this breathing

treatment that will help kind of build

up their lungs so I hear – sure

thank you and real quick do you wanna do

you want to read and maybe cleanse

Priscilla’s aura sage

how’s my aura sage well I can’t get

close I can’t get close enough to you

Priscilla I’ve got to really get my nose

at the tip of your nose and really stare

into your eyes and I can’t do that from

here I’m sorry that’s just one of the

negative aspects of living in a bunker I

guess you say negative I say positive

okay well that seems like a good place

to kind of you know wrap things up here

dr. London I gotta I gotta confess

something I don’t like I don’t like

doing this it seemed like any time that

a moment and the show popped upward it

required preparation like say knowing

who the guest owns at that moment it

became my show again yeah yeah and you

know the medical lessons everything of

this shows based yeah my my my version

of the show was more of a free-for-all

it’s more of just kind of like kind of

like a hang out sesh with like your best

pros rather than like a class with a

freak teacher but I’m realizing now that

we kind of need the freaky ass freak

teacher to control things okay

maybe maybe a cool guy like me my

position is more of a supportive yet

badass yet also antagonistic yet also

you know can I borrow like $3,500 yes oh

you’re the producer of the show

so that’s your role it’s pretty specific

so all right audience guys let’s get out

of here get out go on and actually so go

ahead and get your masks back the ones

that they try to take from you at the

door you do like I know Cameron is very

concerned about vigilantism but you do

need those masses to help that no I

understand that’s fine and sage has has

has blessed all of the masks already so

you’re good on that front

no no sage can you tell us what you did

exactly with the masks

so with the masks what I did is I wanted

to put my spiritual oils all over the

mask so I have put all of the masks

through my armpits that’s where I gather

the most oils and the most sweats and so

the all the masks have now passed

through my armpits and my spiritual oils

are covering them you know what’s funny

is that when you were getting close to

me earlier I could it felt like your

aura had a very armpit II type of sense

to it kind of that pungent you know like

oh do they not wear deodorant do they

not know that they you know what I mean

yeah it sounds like be about what that

like body aura was was all around you it

was amazing it’s wonderful to have a

natural Musk like I do some people do

say that it’s too powerful but those

people I don’t really want near me

exactly you know like like dr. London

he’s used to medical things and IVs and

cat scan machines and stethoscopes and I

like to just you know roll around

outside in the grass and I like to kind

of dip in the dip in the lake every now

and then that’s that’s just the way that

I live my life no no no sage you hear

your voice kind of changed a little bit

when you were talking about dr. London

and medicine and stethoscopes and hey

have you consumed anything no medical

lately did you pay you consumed the

words of a doctor or something that

might be clogging up your aura did you

forget to consume an apple a day to keep

the doctor away I could never forget

because I keep an apple on my bedside

table probably what you’re experiencing

is just the spiritual irritation that I

have around dr. London just whatever he

carries I just can’t stand to be around

it is that something that maybe I can

cast out of you or you you can you can

cleanse out of yourself no it would have

to be it’s just God

get out go Howard stop swatting at me

stop swatting all of us okay yeah so so

like I said probably good time to wrap

it up thank you to Betty for being on

the show yeah Thank You Betty whose life

has been fixed and improved thanks to my

version of the show and who is not my

daughter and who is not Sage’s daughter

nope thank you to Priscilla who took the

time to talk to us live from her bunker

Priscilla who taught all of our audience

and all of our friends and listeners the

the importance of not preparing but but

taking precautions

one can of beans delivered weekly at a

time along with you have the rest of the

grocer like the other beans and then

whatever packages and other like

probably videogames or whatever or DVDs

tool pods yeah Joel pod again you can

kind of just get anything delivered well

and thank you to our producer Cameron

and thank you to digital in the house I

don’t want to call it like a stupor but

sometimes you get into these states

oh my Snooper space yeah your stupor

stayed you say like it’s a super state

like you’re proud of it Hey

[Music]

[Applause]

get up get up

get out and thank you to Sage Daniels as

well for being back on and then dr.

London I gotta be honest I’m pretty

excited to announce my retirement as the

host of the Jock Talk Show

oh you’re admitting that you’re okay I

am retired my name is I am officially

handing the responsibilities back to you

but I’m keeping and my raise your well

well obviously I got a raise going from

our producer to the host so but I’m

gonna hold on to that part of it my name

is dr. London Smith (.com) this has been

the jock doc podcast see ya get out

[Music]

[Applause]

hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice

if you need medical advice or medical care
please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London Smith remember stay

at home for the better

don’t be a co vid spreader introducing

your host doctor London

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without a being

so boring I’m your host dr. London

smith.com

I’d like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we’ve received some feedback

about the overuse of complicated medical

terminology I’ve been using such as bone

scintigraphy and easter so I will do my

best to temper my vocabulary better as

we go forward here to help with that is

our producer Cameron hi um when Cameron

heard about the Easter Bunny he said in

kind of a strange voice it’s wabbit

hunting season and then so Cameron you

just picked up a gun and left well yeah

and then when you came back I noticed

that the barrel of the gun was bent all

the way backwards yeah yeah I don’t want

to talk about that I mean I will well

what do you think happened dr. London

that’s stupid that the stupid rabbit

stuck his little fingers right into both

barrels and like shotgun and so then

when I shot it it kind of bent my gun

pointed it right back at me shot me in

the face blue black dust on my face just

like guns do

I’m sorry to hear that Cameron

so it I guess my experience with guns

would be that you know if someone stuck

their finger and then it would it would

just shoot their fingers off well yeah

how do you think I feel getting out

getting getting beaten by a little

rabbit like that and he was just just a

normal rabbit that was just around and

you just when you try to shoot it ya

know this was just a completely normal

average I mean it was it was you know it

was gray does that make a difference

science wise like you’re a doctor yeah

well I’m for one thing I’m not you know

a vet but also yeah as far as as far as

I’m aware it just seems yeah it seems

odd I guess you are just as surprised as

I am about that result well I’m not a

scientist I’m an animal scientist you’re

closer to an animal scientist than me

yeah yeah just the one specific type of

animal which is human but uh in any case

also with us is dude you doing the hose

it’s hunting season and Cameron tells me

that we can also explain to a special

guest it well you know Emma I do want to

say right here DJ Dylan thank you for

that lovely beat but I also want to say

that a you know just for the record here

me and DJ Dylan we are unknowing

accomplices to whatever doctor London’s

actions are weird I just want to say

that and at the beginning of the podcast

just yes we are just taking orders that

is it and so if something were to go

down and people were to get arrested or

anything like that me and DJ Dylan don’t

know anything we’re just the sidekicks

I’m sorry what are you Cameron what are

you saying do you think something’s

gonna happen today no I just said

nothing’s gonna happen and nothing has

happened in the past we don’t know

anything we are unknowing accomplice as

to what dr. London’s actions are okay

well for our listeners I should clarify

you know be clear here this is a medical

education podcast so I don’t know

Cameron how it would turn into bring me

the money

don’t cry who are you talking to huh

just go ahead with the podcast three two

one and action I that really doesn’t

sound like me well you the voice did

that just doesn’t sound like something I

would do so and you gesturing angrily

yeah I just really doesn’t sound like

something I would do so let’s just if we

three and two and A one okay so before

we move on I would like to address a bit

of listener feedback this feedback was

scribbled on a piece of paper that I

found floating in my coffee quote Howard

this isn’t funny since your daughter had

that awful smell end quote

first of all I would like to thank you

so much for your insightful question on

the jock Doc podcast to answer your

question I would like to first clarify

that my name is not Howard

neither can i speak for the scent of his

daughter but one thing I have learned

about jokes over the years is that

sometimes a bad smell can help a joke

and even be the basis for a joke

and you know what I’ve learned about

jokes over the years

is that if you plainly explain it it’s

so much funnier it’s so funny when you

just plainly explain why something’s

funny okay I just so it’s just my

opinion and not a medical one so maybe

maybe this listener is right about it I

was just trying to answer the question

in any case thank you for listening at

this point I would normally share you

know a medical anecdote from clinical

life but our producer Cameron has

actually been very emphatic that he

wants to contribute to medical lessons

here yes so so you have some tips

together we are we are continuing our

what do you want to call it lesson plan

[Music]

series I guess well yours yeah this is

this is part 3 of my series talking

about what everyone’s talking about

which is the corona virus right right

sorry I didn’t otherwise I’d to confirm

for you yes that is what you’re talking

about and so if you if you haven’t

listened over the last two weeks two

weeks ago I had gone into the deepest

part of the oceans and my quarantine

submarine in order to get away from the

virus which the the deepest part of the

ocean in your mind is the bottle would

be the YMCA swimming pool yes yeah I

just wanted to clarify fortunately the

virus can get you if you are frequently

surfacing to get snacks from the vending

machine which we unfortunately found out

so we moved to the quarantine trampoline

which is where I was last week

and if you didn’t listen the quarantine

trampoline allows you to jump as fast as

you can away from the people with the

disease who might be in the trampoline

with you well theoretically if so it was

just a trampoline well it’s a trampoline

and there’s like a you know there’s the

net you get over there right yeah no I

agree there’s there’s a net surrounding

the trampoline the unfortunate part of

that is if you if you’re having a party

in the trampoline there’s just too many

people and since I’ve definitely been

partying a lot lately

that that put a lot of stress on the

trampoline it couldn’t hold and it we

ended up kind of breaking the trampoline

is the issue well and I have to imagine

that these seagulls that you attracted

to the top of it and the snakes that you

kept below uh-huh

surely cause some types of problems like

I don’t know about your guests the bird

and any Headroom yeah of course

so and even having guests over one of

the you know things about this virus is

that you want to avoid close contact

with people it’s social distancing I

mean there were there couldn’t have been

more than 150 people in this trampoline

but unfortunately even though I’m

continuously jumping away from people

trying to breathe in my face if all 150

people are doing this the trampoline

just can’t support that kind of weight

everyone jumping away from each other

constantly in sort of a vicious circle

right

it looked sort of like a spiraling drain

you know but of people avoiding the

virus so this week now this is gonna

sound a little contradictory to what we

talked about two weeks ago in terms of

the best way to get away from this

disease is to go as low as possible I

have moved on to the quarantine

mezzanine which accord which a mezzanine

of course is sort of when there’s like a

staircase and it’s not a full second

floor but it’s just kind of like a

little loft area in your house right and

I think that could allow up to 150

people to just kind of party you’re too

high for the virus to get that’s

determined because you’re above the

floor okay and you can have as many

snacks up there as you want so you’re

you think that the virus can’t climb I

don’t think it would want to I think if

you think about how small it is and how

many how long it would take to go up all

those steps there’s no way it would want

to so I would say my first tip for you

because again that’s tips 0 that is

accepted

default that all of our listeners will

be doing that so hang out in the

mezzanine yes so my tip number one is of

course get some good shoes because

you’re gonna be walking up those steps

you weren’t gonna want shoes that aren’t

gonna slip in slide everywhere so you

don’t fall down the stairs and you’re

gonna want shoes I would go with cleats

honestly okay earth rocks I was thinking

more like soccer cleats like the spikes

and everything okay and that’s just to

make sure you have a good grip well

climbing climbing up the stairs and

you’re not gonna slip in slide okay I

would say the my second tip is to bring

the snacks from the first floor up there

with you so you don’t have to keep going

up and down okay so that’s I still I

think you might be missing one point

with viruses with any respiratory

illness is that or infectious ones is

that they are passed through from the

person to person so if you have a party

up there they’ll bring it because it

lives in their lungs do you see how

that’s an issue

interesting so okay so from here on out

only lungless people will be invited to

the party that is tip number three and

that is Cameron’s tips do you know a lot

of one less people know but I’m really

good at making friends okay I guess

theoretically because the virus does you

know attach to believe it’s the ACE to

receptor in the lungs I guess

theoretically if you didn’t have lungs

then that would be a safer bet okay so

that would be tip four then I so tip

three invite people who are long less

tip four try to be long list yourself as

much as you possibly can I imagine if

you just youtube that you can probably

find tutorials on how to achieve that so

I guess I’m just gonna the problem I’m

just gonna swing for the fences here if

you just go to youtube.com slash go long

lists just do that right now I don’t

know what’s there but I assume it’s

gonna be relevant to what we’re talking

about and we can just

that’ll be tip number four and we’ll

make that tip number five well and I was

walking just through the theoretics of

it

but you know humans do require lungs for

oxygen exchange and woman and I do think

tip number six should be cleats you

should wear shoes because you’re gonna

be going up and down the stairs or up

the stairs and I would say tip seven

make sure those snacks that are

downstairs just bring them up there with

you so you don’t have to keep going up

and down okay I guess I that sounds like

it’s time to move on and then tip eight

what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna

want to only invite lungless people to

your party you’re gonna want the shoes

your nice shoes think cleats that you

can go up and down the stairs with well

thank you Cameron I guess it’s time to

move on from there now for today’s

medical topic neurogenic shock

neurogenic shock results from a failure

of the sympathetic nervous system to

maintain adequate vascular tone let’s

see what you have right because you have

no sympathy whatsoever failure attic

nerve system also known as sympathetic

denervation so in other words you have

because you have no sympathy whatsoever

one vessel stopped constricting like

they’re supposed to in order to maintain

blood pressure now the sympathetic

nervous system is more commonly known as

your fight-or-flight but it plays an

important role in your day-to-day health

as well some causes of neurogenic shock

include spinal cord injury severe head

injuries spinal anesthesia and

pharmacologic sympathetic blockade and

it is characterized by peripheral

vasodilation with decreased systemic

vascular resistance clinical features

include well perfused skin load to

normal urine output bradycardia and not

a problem I will just say that right now

what the urine volume not an issue oh

you’re you’re trying to apply this

lesson to yourself you’re saying that

you are not in neurogenic shock buddy

look I I look I don’t want to brag I

feel like this is getting into kind of

weird personal territory but a

don’t have to worry about a urinary

output I’m a I’m outputting a little ha

ha ha to piss lots of it well I I guess

I good maybe that means you’re drinking

a lot of water

oh no don’t know where it’s coming from

don’t care ok well that could I just

know I can actually pop it that can be

troublesome actresses thanks : you know

kind of a presentation of diabetes

potentially it’s just a continuous

non-stop stream of stream oh wait are

you

oh you’re going right now well I this is

my issue is if you’re if you’re never

stopping are you really going you know

what I mean if it’s just always going

then it’s not like going it’s just is

the default so I guess one one thing I

would clarify here is that normally you

have a th antidiuretic hormone that is

preventing you from having to pee on the

time not at all 88 I’m in my late 60s ok

I’m sorry I should clarify ADH and also

you’re you’re in your late 60s

yeah that’s a rough guesstimate but yeah

ok that’s just that’s older than I would

have guessed I go up any sort of the

Nielsen rating categories so for a long

time I was 18 to 39 and then I was 40 to

65 plus and right now I’m in 65 plus so

you use a rating system like so I sorted

the Nielsen rating grouping system like

Nielsen ratings for TV right so normally

you would calculate your age by taking

your date of birth and then subtracting

you know the current year I think back

to that from the current you yeah I mean

I think in certain religions and regions

of the country shirt okay all right I

don’t want to you know bring in ageism

or anything so

we can move on from there thank you so

as I was saying clinical features

include the warm will profuse skin low

to normal urine output bradycardia and

hypotension

although tachycardia can occur and

decreased cardiac output treatment for

neurogenic shock includes judicious use

of IV fluids Basel constrictors which

are drugs that make blood vessels

constrict these can also be used to

restore venous tone but they should be

used cautiously patients may also be put

into the supine or Trendelenburg

position and because fight or flight can

affect hot and cold treatment also

includes maintenance of the patient’s

body temperature so you know if they’re

very cold and it’s blankets very hot you

know you managed it appropriately oh I’m

really really glad you took a

significant amount of time to tell

people that if they’re cold like get a

blanket yeah well these people would be

in shock so they the people would be

unable to but this is for people

learning medicine to know yeah you know

up cold person might need a blanket I’m

glad that our doctors are getting this

level of education carry on doctor

London carry on I hate to interrupt but

Cameron hey do you have I’m here to pick

up my order

I’ll hold hold on a second dr. London we

actually don’t have a guest today I was

just I thought we could maybe just do

inventory but let me let me take care of

this real quick inventory

do you have my monkey mate okay yeah let

me get let me put you down for did you

want to specify the type or just any and

all you want a grab bag I’d say 50

percent spider monkey thigh I’m sorry

okay 50 percent spider monkey five and

twenty percent orangutan phalanges ooh

so we are fresh out of ring attain I can

do gorilla are you okay that’ll be fine

are you selling exotic meats camera home

okay we’ll put you down for some

gorillas I was like Cameron that wasn’t

an answer that was just a

whoa so I’m gonna put you down for it

gorilla anything else do you have

anything actually thing up do you want

to just be on the show okay sure

but before I do that do you have any

specials today ooh let’s see

well we’re recording a podcast right I

know if you if you can wait until after

I’ve got a lot of people I can’t really

wait for you to finish up your little

podcast sorry for our listeners anyone

new I believe we’re speaking to Sheila

dawn is that right correct and Sheila I

can’t have a I do have a tiger arm that

I can give you I’ll just throw it in for

free okay I could throw that in the

smoker so Sheila dawn has been on the

show before she told us about tiger Taco

Tuesday she sells I never Masonic meets

at the exotic on saw State Fair that’s

one of my business ventures yes yeah you

had a couple right yeah she also had a

bone yard a bone garden yes Bowden

garden that’s right and what was the

purpose of the bone garden it was

something about like weren’t we

capturing people Souls we were trying to

capture Souls mostly but that’s right we

were capturing Souls for the most part

but you were you were luring people in

and then trapping and killing them there

is that is that correct you know some of

them died of natural causes but yeah the

bone gardens actually been kind of

because we only have one time visitors

we’ve kind of not been doing too well so

I’ve kind of been trying to think of

ways to get people because the town

closest to mine is just totally empty

now they all came to the bone garden and

they never left and so I need to get

kind of sent and big that’ll kind of get

people’s and far away to come and say

but before before we get further into

this I do want to clarify here because

we have talked about this before a

hammer to the skull is not a natural

cause I understand you’re saying if the

hammer falls from a high place and

there’s no one letting a go it’s on a

string or something then you could argue

that it was a natural cause I don’t I

just don’t buy that but that’s neither

here nor there right and also it’s not

your killed entire city of people they

were all just one-time visitors to the

bone garden yeah but so you wiped out an

entire city just kind of a small it

wasn’t a full city yeah because I would

assume that most visitors there are

one-time visitors is that about right

correct yeah have you ever had a repeat

visitor no okay okay I would imagine

that would be probably kind of difficult

what is she the what so so I mean is

this is this really all you’re here for

is you were just picking up an order or

is there something more you’re kind of

looking for well while I’m here I could

say I’m looking for like I said

something that’ll really draw people

from far away to come and visit

something big that a lot of people will

be talking about and okay I am looking

I’ve been hunting for years for the most

exotic meat the Easter Bunny

okay now I’m not talking about just a

rabbit I’m talking about the eight and a

half foot magical demon that knows your

children and comes into your house every

Easter and gives them baskets of stuff

that’s the one I’m talking about no

Sheila you swore you swore that you

would leave him alone I did for a couple

years I did stick up to my word but the

bone garden

suffering so bad with the one time

visitor thing so okay well okay I want

to clarify a few things one thing I

forgot to mention about your first visit

with us is that your exotic meats that

you sell can you imagine the magical

powers that I would absorb if I ate

Easter Bunny meat no – Sheila of course

you would acquire magical powers but

that’s the kind of power that we weren’t

meant to have that’s the power you

weren’t meant to have no that’s way down

to a bunny instead of a human because

the human cannot have that kind of power

it’s like the ring so if you see him and

he’s got a vertical pinstripe suit a

monocle and a tiger hat so this isn’t

this isn’t the the bunny that cares

longears big bunny feet

Cameron recently had an encounter with a

rabbit bunny rabbit this is this is

separate okay this is I know exactly who

she’s talking about I’m oh maybe you

haven’t maybe your pants don’t let him

like maybe your parents didn’t let you

meet the Easter Bunny but in some

cultures dr. London we invited the

Easter Bunny into our hearts and he

comes every year and he has a

conversation with us and he sits down

and talks to us and he gives us some

candy

okay is what she was talking about here

is about hunting this thing down and

putting it on display like some sort of

freak in her pwned garden well I want to

do more so with it I’m trying to skin it

and where it’s fur as a suit first of

all and absorb its magical powers and

third of all I’m trying to get its bones

on display at the bone garden to attract

people from far away this is a

three-fold mission don’t you forget it

okay I am so sorry I was really mistaken

I thought you were going to keep the

bunny in a cage no but now that I know

that you’re just gonna be wearing the

bunny skin then yeah do whatever you

need to do and okay thanks for your

support

okay now reconnection of these monkey

meat patties loaded up well this is a

three-person operation so it is gonna

involve all three of us wait no I just

come out to do and sick you are can you

have DJ Dylan doing it you want this

monkey mean you’re gonna help out

DJ Dylan you’re gonna help here yes okay

well I’m also not I don’t think I want

to be party to this because the the

animal meat that you’re listing it

sounds like like it’d be illegal to be

selling that

okay London if you don’t help us with

this these monkeys are going to rip

Dylan an ID to shreds that that’s what

you want you’re sending us to our death

Wow I I just maybe if you just give the

animals to the zoo or to roam free I

don’t know anyone who works at the zoo

or just call animal control

I guess that’s that’s the right dose

Lenny wanna get animal control I don’t

have that number we’re getting monkeys

to Sheila and we need your help I mean I

can look up that number that’s not so

hard to do Sheila I want to ask you talk

about how your bone garden business has

really been suffering lately with the

lack of townspeople what about your your

meat truck business is that I mean I

know that sort of travels around a bit

so you have a little more freedom you’re

not anchored to one location right right

well it’s going okay but the problem is

I can’t get customer loyalty because I

can’t keep the same name for too long

I’m costly having to change it you know

they realize like oh they’re not just

calling it’s not just a funny little

thing that they’re calling these monkey

burgers you know it’s not a very little

thing that they’re calling these things

bat-burgers and monkey dogs and

that hotline it’s a big transition for

you when did you switch from cooking

dogs and cats that you find dead on the

road when it may switch from those two

you know these more exotic creatures

that’s kind of business has really grown

and I’ve kind of gone more corporate

with that actually I kind of sell more

like jerky packs and we sell them at

Bucky’s so I hope that his kind of

transition that has kind of bloomed and

blossomed into something else and

something new

wait wait wait wait wait so wait you’re

you’ve started like a a mass company

that’s correct selling product to like

actual legitimate stores correct but

that’s mostly where the dog and cat

jerkier go yeah we do have this small

storefront still for the people that

went there at pets turned into jerky but

but mostly we’re just kind of having

people go around finding it’s not really

just dogs and cats just finding whatever

we can just find on the roads in our

travels I assume online has been doing

great then buckey’s kind of handles that

oh ok of course well I mean honestly

that sounds pretty great I do you want

to kind of get into business here I can

be like I know right now you’re just

buying monkey from me every few weeks

and I’m you know throwing in a tiger arm

here and there but we could get in on

something you know well pitch me way you

I’m not involved in this mi well you’re

talking about like lack of people like

lack of customers we have new guests on

this show every single week so we just

kind of filter them to you do you see

what I’m saying they come on the show we

say oh you know when we have uh we have

uh we’ve a season passes to it cool a

pretty cool place to go to give them

those season passes where do you think

they’re gonna go

sure you can we can get some top a

little coupon book forum your garden but

really I’m looking more for if I find

the Easter Bunny and I put the Easter

bunnies of bones on display I will have

people coming worldwide to see this that

is true that’s the type of business I’m

trying to gender right here what does

that look like you’re talking about hunt

the Easter Bunny what are you doing to

to lure him what are you doing to hunt

him and where are you going I’m kind of

standing outside of people’s houses that

I know have kids and I’m kind of just

standing there all night long trying to

stay awake trying to see when the Easter

Bunny appears in their living rooms and

so far I’ve not had any luck I am

starting to get some volunteers some

other people that are willing to look

through windows all night of homes with

so I’m hoping this year we I will be

able to ki usually end up falling asleep

some hope and I’ve got volunteers we can

be on the lookout we can we can get it

this time and now I’m putting it out

here to all your listeners you know if

you have kids and you invited into your

home to leave it your kids presence

please monitor it and let me know so I

can kind of figure out and I can’t

figure out you know how he transports

and you know at least was say until we

know that he comes on a sleigh he comes

down the chimney with the Easter Bunny

we have no f’n ID I would say it’s

probably one of two ways it’s either

hopping because we do know that rabbits

do that on a consistent basis yes the

other I would think would be

teleportation and he couldn’t kind of

zaps in and out of each house that he’s

you know going to sort of jumping into

another house like the movie jumper well

we will never know until we get eyes on

him and so what we’re tells like what

we’re talking about here is a vigilante

group of heroes I mean how many people

how many volunteers are we talking about

like 30 40 40 exactly we’re talking

about 40 volunteers going from house to

house peering into the windows of small

children so well just staying at one

house this is something that uh this is

something that I can’t get dr1 it have I

not been talking about something exactly

like this okay you have been describing

like without mentioning the Easter Bunny

you have been describing this scenario

that you would like us to get together a

group of 40 or so people to go stare

into the windows of young children

like through the night specifically not

just in the daytime but at night and

correct if you need if we need to get

video cameras if you can’t promise to

stay awake we could probably rummage

around and find about 10-15 video

cameras I guess one of the ways that

from my understanding of how you know if

you’ll go about hunting rare creatures

is that they’ll find out where they’ve

been spotted before in the wild I saw

him once as a child I will be honest

with you see the Easter Bunny it was

absolutely horrifying and it took many

years of therapy to get to this point

that I could even speak about it speak

about hunting it know when I saw it as a

child okay well where did you see it as

a child if I may ask I was in my home

okay and I knew that it was coming and

so I was laying in bed and I saw it in

the hallway it was standing in my

doorway staring at me and the evil that

I felt that night getting sure I have

never experienced anything like that and

I have met many many murderers serial

killer I’d maybe that’s a separate topic

but you’ve met many serial killers

haven’t we all

to my knowledge no no I have not

well I actually think on this show we

have as I’d put him in don’t talk to it

I mean aside from the present company I

don’t think we’ve had that many serial

killers on here whoa whoa whoa don’t

call her out I want assumptions around

about me because I’ve gotta there next

Viva

I am so yes Sheila I am so sorry the

sort of bigotry against conservatives

and and southern polls so she said that

she wiped out a town of people

my bone garden wiped out of town of

people yeah I can’t be held responsible

for the things my bone garden does it

has an ecosystem and a spiritual

ecosystem of its own that can’t even be

explained but you were the one who so

many different types of souls are

trapped there but you were the one who

did the actual killing within the garden

not necessarily we’ve we’ve gone over

this yeah are you poisoned whatever

anyway all that to say aside from

yourself I don’t I don’t see us crossing

past a lot of serial killers okay but

but you were saying I live in the little

fantasy snowflake kind of world you want

to live in that’s fine with me dr.

London well anyways if you’ve seen the

Easter Bunny or if you want to volunteer

please email me and watching through the

window for the Easter Bunny at gmail.com

and I do want I want to encourage a lot

of our listeners to kind of kind of

listen to this and take this to heart

because I dr. Loe know we’ve talked

about before maybe setting up some kind

of a charity or getting our listeners

involved in in action not just listening

and sitting back and and oh I don’t care

about politics I don’t care about

anything here’s a real way to make it if

well and it’s by peering into people’s

windows for the little children and

trying to take down this murderous evil

bunny so one one thing here you have

been putting up posters around town and

the wording of it you know asking for

the 40 volunteers

it’s sounded Cameron like you were

recruiting for a food drive that you

need this many volunteers to to hand out

donated food and that’s what I thought

well we’re gonna need snacks if we’re

out there all night we’re gonna get

hungry yeah we’re gonna need snow so

that is accurate you may need to change

the wording so that people know that

it’s not a food drive that it’s no it’s

not you know

handing out food that it’s it’s

specifically the

tasks of you know going overnight and

staring into the windows of small

children at their homes yep I just I the

posters are misleading and I have seen

them everywhere I just don’t I’m not

really a micromanager so I sort of like

to give people the tools that they’re

gonna need and then sort of let them

improvise from there you know I I guess

so I give them the tools they need which

is hey guys go look in those windows and

then from there it’s up to them yeah I

guess the part that I see is misleading

is there’s no mention of Windows there’s

just you know come help us give food but

I maybe I just read it wrong

and maybe I’m the only one on this one

in any case

Sheila so once you let’s say you set

sights on the Easter Bunny what is your

plan to you know take take down the

Easter Bunny

I’m gonna stab them through the heart

well I’ll keep an eye we need more of

stuff like this on the show mm-hmm with

Easter Bunny’s name carved on the handle

yes sir yes sir

I certainly do Oh you wait you have a

what we have evil what with the Easter

Bunny’s name carved I’ve got enough on

me at all times

and you say you say with the Easter

Bunny’s name you keep talking about this

evil demonic creature does the Easter

Bunny have a different name I don’t know

I guess so the follow-up question there

is what name is you know etched into

your knife Easter Bunny okay okay keep

it as a title not name I guess unless

that is his his given name it could be

that could be his Christian name I’ve

been that’s what I’ve been assumed in

yeah

yeah that’s probably true so I I do you

keep talking about a little bit the the

sort of power that you’re gonna

assume I mean what do you would it let’s

say let’s say hypothetically your dream

comes true you peered through one of

these windows you crawl up to it you pee

can you say Shh to the 40 people that

are behind you and to the children you

say there in front of you you know the

children who are sleeping yet you say

yes there it is and you crawl and he’s

just placing his evil candies down under

the children’s feet that’s what they do

in Easter dr. Lennon cuz you’re not

familiar with the Easter Bunny Easter

Bunny puts candy under children’s feet

and you you go up to him and you say

gotcha and you stab them and you stab my

name here’s to have them and then you

start consuming his meat his raw meat

right then and there what do you expect

to happen and what are you gonna do with

that kind of power well first of all I

wasn’t really imagining it that way I’ve

you know I’ve been really picturing it

for years and years and years and that’s

just not at all how I had to play how it

plays out in my mind what how is it

gonna play out plays out somehow I’ve

convinced the Easter Bunny to do a dual

type of situation okay I run and somehow

I’m able to leap up and I have the

dagger over my head and I just plunge

the knife through his heart and I say

that’s all folks

yeah and then I’d right there I’d rip

his meat but I’d do it respectful

because he’s a magical creature and I

want to treat this meat because I’m

gonna have a good meal with this I’m

gonna roast it over an open flame I’m

gonna sit down and I’m going to make

this a meal okay and from there I just

want to be able to lay back relax and

let it overtake me and whatever happens

happens so I do one thing you had

mentioned before you said somehow I’m

going to leap up and stab the money and

I

that the keyword being there somehow

because I was sort of wondering that as

well you do not seem like the kind of

person who would be able to physically

and do such a thing is that is that

worthy forty people behind you come in

because that’s now I am getting confused

on that point this has just been my

lifelong fantasy I’m not sure how all

the pieces are gonna fall into place but

I’m just hoping that everything is

exactly how I’ve always imagined it so

your so the game plan is you got 40

field behind you you get them – I don’t

know stand on each other’s shoulders or

something so you can stab the Easter

Bunny I’ll let them handle that I’ll let

them handle that yeah that okay I think

we’ve actually no but I think we’ve

actually figured this out let’s you keep

saying the pieces are falling into place

what if part of this what if part of

your destiny was me and dr. London

helping you figure out this puzzle and

kind of helping you accomplish this goal

what if you take some of these 40 people

you don’t need 40 but take like four of

them and they can create sort of a human

pyramid type of gymnastics position

where you’re able to put your foot into

someone’s hand and they are able to toss

you like a cheerleader sort of up into

the air where you’re able to come down

stab them is that is that is that along

the lines of is that something you’d be

okay with sure but I think I would need

more than four people definitely because

I’m going to need other people holding

the dagger up I’m gonna need other

people plunging it I’m gonna need people

you don’t want to be you don’t want to

grow you don’t want to do any of the

physical actions whatsoever I just want

it to look really really cool and be

exactly how I always pictured it that

does sound awesome

it yeah it’s pretty hands-off I guess

I’ll need people on the other side to

catch me obviously yeah obviously so it

really it sounds like the only reason

for having so many people in this group

is to sort of move you around like a

puppet is that about right right I hate

to use my own body energy I hate

oh that’s that’s a separate principle of

yours there’s just something I hate I

hate having to use my body energy you

have told me multiple times keep the

energy in the boneyard right that’s

where the energy needs that’s why I’m

saying I need you three young men strong

able-bodied to load this monkey meat up

in my van and that and I guess if it’s

already prepared all right I mean well I

mean the monkey meat it’s not I mean

it’s just monkeys okay well then I can’t

I can’t be the three of us who just need

to wrestle these monkeys down as well I

don’t think but so DJ Dylan can you okay

are we gonna do this right now

oh yes okay I’m emphatic Lee so doing

that thank God we’re recording at my

house right now

right who knew that the even the office

would be closed yeah so I’m just gonna

go upstairs real quick I’m just gonna

open I’m just gonna I’m just gonna open

up the attic I’m just gonna go ahead and

let the monkeys out and then if the

three of us could sort of get together

say it as if I’m going to but the

answers still no what let’s just wrap

things up now you’re not gonna have a

choice if you’ve got a 210 gorilla

runnin at you dr. Lennon you’re gonna

need to your pacifist attitude is not

gonna work in that situation with great

power comes great responsibility dr.

Linda and Gert we all know that yeah you

have the power to help me in in DJ Dylan

take down these these monkeys so I’m

just gonna open this door

you could play some sort of monkey

friendly Jam that the monkeys will will

respond to in a positive way

yes I hate okay they hate that

song is annoying but oh my god that one

really really hurts that song okay thank

you – Sheila dawn for being on the

podcast again alright you give up you

grab his arm London and my name is okay

stop stop are these on

the voices are chattering away in your

head you try to cover your ears to block

them out but they only get louder you

stand up and you start to run trying to

outpace these voices and their unceasing

torment you brush it your hair by your

ear and suddenly the voice is a bait on

that side everything is becoming clear

meow the reason why the voices couldn’t

be blocked out when you cover your ears

is because you were wearing headphones

and those horrifying voices were just a

podcast and speaking of horrifying

podcasts don’t forget to leave your

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[Music]

[Applause]

Hey kids you are about to listen to

A comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice if you need medical

advice or medical care please contact

your doctor welcome to the jock doc

podcast featuring dr. London Smith

quarantine and chill with the doctor and

his game introducing your host hello and

welcome to the jock doc podcast where we

discuss fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring

I’m your host dr. London smith.com I’d

like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we’ve received some feedback

about the amount of tactical medical

terminology that I’ve been using such as

tachypneic and Pranksters so I’ll try to

moderate my vocabulary in the future

here to help with that is our producer

Cameron

hello friends when Cameron heard about

April Fool’s he just kept denying that

it was a thing that that April Fool’s

aren’t real well no I mean I’ve been you

I mean like I’ve been called that my

entire life so I’m sorry if I’m a little

sensitive towards that because it’s not

even real like they’re not even like

it’s like saying like a leprechauns real

it’s not even real oh you you think it’s

like a creature that’s I’ve never seen

an April Fool and then people say I look

just like one they’re not even real oh

so I must look like err look like

nothing well err is real yes well you

know what I meant I met you I mean like

oh I must look like the absence of

anything because they don’t exist

they’re fictional ok it’s like it’s like

Santa Claus or the mailman right well ok

so I I have a little bit of a correction

for you there so April Fool’s Day is

actually so it’s an annual custom

on April 1st where people play jokes and

hoaxes so and then they might yell April

Fool’s at the recipient so whenever

people are calling you in April Fool did

they had they just done something to you

well I did something to them right after

beat the hell out of them I said there

is no April Fool it’s like Santa or the

mailman okay but so did they prank you

beforehand and then call you in April

Fool well yeah I mean definitely like

you know a lot of my friends will put

stuff in my pockets that I didn’t want

in there what keys are know I mean it’ll

be like chocolate what’ll be melted okay

in any case I don’t want to keep talking

about this is kind of getting a little

too close to for me okay

well also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA

HOUSE

[Music]

I’ve never seen an April Fool and then

people say I look just like one they’re

not even real also I must look like err

[Music]

Cameron tells me that we can expect a

special guest that is right dr. London

all right so look forward to that before

we move on I would like to address a bit

of listener feedback I found this

feedback written on my face while I was

taking a nap while on call of the

hospital

the message reads quote do not answer

this is a way for hackers to steal your

birthday and steal your Social Security

benefits I saw it on dr. oz whoa

stop and what are you doing you’re

answering it

they just said stop that oh okay so I

shouldn’t answer this this listeners

question no they told you not to okay

cuz I did have an answer prepared about

you know staying safe with regard to

social security number no stop stop stop

providing an answer that Social Security

your height your eye color your address

things like this this is information

that I should be handing out of its

gonna be handed out okay I need to not

be given to this guy to hand I want to

hand it out I want to put that on

Billboard’s it’s infringing on our

advertising I’m sorry you advertise with

my private information yeah it’s like

the life you know the life lock guy he

like put his social security number out

there and said we’re gonna prove how

good life lock is I’ll give you my

social security number write it all stay

safe I’ve been doing the same thing but

with mine yeah with your medical

practice Wow

if you want to know how good dr. London

is here’s a social security number and

you think that proves anything well I

didn’t really understand it the first

time but I saw I guess it worked

so I just kind of followed suit how did

it how did it work

I don’t know I mean those commercials

ran for a while for the LifeLock guy oh

you mean they probably understand that

much so I just went ahead and put it on

I mean most of our billboards and you

know call center spam calls that we’ve

been doing around the clock so we’re

telling mark anyway right well and

here’s the thing we’re not telemarketers

because telemarketers they’re gonna call

you they’re gonna ask you for your

social security what our callers do they

call you and they just give you dr.

London’s social security number okay

this doesn’t giving people things this

doesn’t sound very effective for the

podcast to grow it just sounds like

you’re trying to give my you know

identity away I’m saying if it works for

the LifeLock guy we’ve got to be open to

the possibility you said your new year’s

resolution was to be more open to things

dr. London yes you said that okay yes

all right so we’re gonna beat we’re

gonna we’re gonna say yes to this and

we’re gonna be open to it yes yes yes I

am gonna say yes to life yes I am gonna

put myself out there yes yes it’s going

to call 700,000 people a month yes and

tell them my social security number with

an automated message yes but we can move

on so at this point normally I would

share a medical anecdote from clinical

life about you know my patient

interaction some examples of bedside

manner maybe but Cameron our producer

here so Kevin you’ve been insisting that

you have medical tips that that need to

be shared yeah if you if you missed us

last week we you know obviously we’re

talking a lot about right now dr. Landon

has informed me that it is a corona

virus I was saying a variety of things

last week but that’s that’s fine if you

would listen if you’d miss us last week

I had given you reports from my

quarantine submarine this was a

submarine deep deep deep into the ocean

which is really the only way you can say

safe in the in a pool right well it was

in a YMCA pool but

that I feel like it it functions the

same waters water okay so was at the

bottom of Y MC MC a pool I ended up

getting in contact with crowds of people

while I surface to try to get a snack it

was the whole thing

this said we you know I’ve kind of

ditched the submarine idea that’s kind

of in the past and now I want to bring

you what I have found to be kind of more

important okay

and DJ Dylan if we could get some sort

of a theme song or yes jingle going on

right here maybe Cameron’s coronavirus

tip something something cool okay maybe

you can go like I said the quarantine

submarine is a thing of the past what

I’ve realized is that this disease well

I don’t know if it can go deep into the

ocean it can get you while you are in

the pool at the YMCA if you’re

frequently surfacing to get snacks from

the vending machine which that alone is

an issue so yeah what I’ve decided I

really think this is gonna be kind of a

better thing is the quarantine

trampoline which is where I am right now

oh you’re you’re sitting on a trampoline

yes I’m sitting on a trampoline it’s got

one of those big Nets around it so you

don’t fall off while you’re jumping

around okay and this way the kind of

bouncy floor that comes with a

quarantine trampoline allows you to

quickly bounce away from someone who is

sick or coughing so you can sort of

continuously bounce away from the virus

okay well do you have other people

around you because if you just stay in

your home then generally that that will

do this kind of the same trick no one

else is thinking you know I think one

thing I’ve learned is that it to go into

any day saying I know who’s going to be

in my life I know who’s going to be on

this trampoline I think that is the

height of arrogance okay

because again I think accept what is

given to you I accept that things today

might be different than yesterday

I accept that a person might want to

like crawl on my trampoline and try to

chase me around

Coughlin’s me has this happen suppose

you to bounce away

no one’s it has not happened yet but

okay you just have me I’ve been

practicing the bouncing a lot the

bouncing okay so that’s for our

listeners is this your tip one my tip

number one is yeah if if someone comes

running at you coughing just bounce away

because you’re already on the trampoline

yeah tip zero is beyond the trampoline

that’s default okay this sounds insane

well it sounds a bit like the submarine

situation where you know people may not

have access between water trampoline air

right because you’re getting sweet air

so different yeah just in terms of what

people have access to is what I mean

it’s kind of the same problem not

everyone has a trampoline or a submarine

I doubt I really doubt that okay I’m

sorry

I understand one person on having one of

them but you’re saying a person had not

having either okay

no go on an important thing to do during

this time I know tensions are kind of

high and there is a bit of stress going

around and you know actually stress is

bad for your body physically okay yeah

actually makes you more susceptible to

contagious diseases because it lowers

you and your immune system isn’t that

right dr. lon that’s right yeah so I

think it’s important during this time to

find the things that emotionally comfort

you I think for a lot of people that

might just be a picture of a loved one

or even just a fun game you can play on

your phone that kind of you know is

comforting for a lot of people it might

actually be an animal you’ve seen I’m

sure people at the airport and all sorts

of places with emotional support dog

that’s become very common in office

places and I think you know it doesn’t

have to be like limited to

emotional support dogs I don’t know I’m

sorry what am i hearing there if you

could hear these are my so these are my

emotional support goals

yes seagulls is that I’m here yeah my

abortion will support goals that kind of

fly loosely around the tree the the kind

of the top of the trampling because it

does have sort of a roof on it so you

keep emotional support seagulls flying

around your feet seagulls and they fly

around and I sort of you might be asking

how do I keep them around yeah yeah it’s

just a bucket of fish heads

you don’t really don’t eat anything more

complicated than that okay and and you

know if that you know I it’s if that’s

not enough for you that’s understandable

to not everything can be limited to just

one animal someone might need an

emotional support dog and an emotional

support cat okay Cameron am i hearing or

that are those snakes the yes dr. London

I I found that the goals were not sort

of emotionally fulfilling enough to

sustain the amount of stress that I’ve

allowed in my life and so along with the

goals I’ve included a lot of snakes and

a lot of different types of snakes and

different styles I don’t I can’t really

give you details on what type of snake

is which because it’s all kind of a mess

it’s just really just a pile okay and

they’re just white why did you go for

snakes and seagulls as opposed to say

the examples you gave like a dog or a

cat

oh oh oh sorry I didn’t know I was gonna

live my life as like a basic Instagram

bro oh I didn’t know my life was just so

simple that I’m just gonna copy what

every Wall Street tech bro Silicon

Valley nerd nurse at the doctor’s office

whatever does I can’t have it a little

originality in my life dr. London okay I

guess with those particular animals I

don’t think of them as my big goals and

snakes my two favorite animals okay no

I’m sorry I didn’t even I didn’t realize

that about you oh and you’re actually

when you’re hearing my my the last part

of my

social support group this is my

emotional support hot dog vendor that I

bring along with me he’s kind of hanging

her out out here in the trampoline and

so so normally emotional support animals

are animals and like pets sure oh yeah

so this is a wiener so what what are

pets if not humans you know what I mean

I guess I don’t I

humans animals right we’re just animals

right a pet is just an animal you have

in your trampoline I go along with my

goals and my pile of snakes I’ve got

yeah I’ve got an emotional support hot

dog vendor he gives me a hot dog anytime

I want it okay well that it that does

sound nice it doesn’t sound like

sustainable for his business but anyway

so for tip three I don’t know just like

hang out and like just hang out with

your friends and go to the mall and yeah

you just want to like hang out and like

spend some time with like your buddies

and like maybe go to a bar tonight you

know what I mean like just like maybe

just go out and yeah just like I’m just

like hang out okay I guess those are

those are Cameron’s tips for dealing

with this this virus Oh deaths right now

for today’s medical topic septic shock

sepsis is a condition in which

microorganisms in the blood cause a

systemic reaction that can cause

multiple organ failure septic shock then

is defined as hypotension induced by

sepsis that persists despite adequate

fluid fluid resuscitation

this results in hypoperfusion which is

whenever blood isn’t providing nutrients

properly and so that can ultimately lead

to multiple organ system failure and

death are you are you booing what are

you booing oh well you said before the

show that I wasn’t allowed to interject

and kind of make it about me and my

stories that instead

I can just only maybe like throw in

comments here and there yeah so yeah I’m

just booing death and just kind of

negative things go ahead doesn’t bode

well for the rest common causes include

pneumonia pyelonephritis meningitis

abscess formation cholangitis cellulitis

peritonitis in terms of the

pathophysiology of septic shock there’s

a severe decrease in systemic vascular

resistance secondary to peripheral

vasodilation okay no it’s mmm it’s still

not good in other words your blood

vessels become loose

rather than constricting and that

decreases the blood pressure so

extremities are often warm

due to this vasodilation cardiac output

is usually normal or increased ejection

fraction which is a measurement of the

percentage of blood leaving the heart

each time it contracts that is decreased

secondary to a reduction in

contractility of the heart so so

clinically manifestations of septic

shock are related to the cause of the

sepsis additional signs septic shock yes

include okay it’s to clarify Cameron

septic shock is bad it’s not actually

good for a person well why don’t we let

the fans decide okay so additional signs

of subject shock include what is termed

systemic inflammatory response syndrome

which is characterized by two or more of

the following fever over 30 degrees

Celsius or hyper hypothermia under 36

degrees Celsius hyperventilation

which is breathing under 20 breaths per

minute or paco2 less than 32 millimeters

of mercury

tachycardia over 90 beats per minute and

increased by blood cell count over

12,000 per high-power feel less than

4000 you drive your powered field or

over 10% band forms you get

patience will also present with signs of

shock like hypotension decreased yes

urine output and lactic acidosis septic

shock is essentially a clinical

diagnosis which may be confirmed by

positive blood cultures but negative

cultures are common so treatment is

initially with broad-spectrum IV

antibiotics at max doses antibiotics for

more rare organisms antifungal

medications may be required if there is

no clinical response or if there is a

suspicion for an atypical organism such

as an immunocompromised patient

treatment may also include okay is this

still a protest

okay well treatment may include surgical

drainage if necessary fluid

administration is also used to increase

the mean blood pressure which may

require many liters of fluid and finally

mean blood pressure mean yes

vasopressors such as norepinephrine

dopamine and phenol Efrain may be used

if high position nora ephron boom

persists despite aggressive IV fluid

resuscitation septic shock is

unfortunately the most common cause of

death in the intensive care unit boo so

the ICU is actually a good like that’s

where they help people septic shock

would be the enemy here mmm I’ve seen

static shock and he was not the enemy

all right Cameron you said that we had a

guest today is that right we absolutely

do dr. London I’m excited for this one

all right hello there hi thank you for

having me here with you I’m Wolf River

Paltrow CEO and founder of Pogue as you

know Gwyneth Paltrow is my distant

cousin we and you say you say as you

know very assumingly we this is we are

meeting so my name is dr. Lennon

smith.com and this is our producer

Cameron you’re on the jock talk podcast

it’s it’s nice to meet you thank you

because dr. London has told me many

times to try to learn something about

our guest anything even their name why

they’re on here their occupation I mean

whether or not they’re homeless or

whatever and to which I say no because

I’m too busy accepting life and so I

love it

yeah and dr. London you should shove

that in your face can we call you wolf

then oh yeah okay that’s that’s my dog

canine name can we get help from you

just a little bit of one yes all right

we got it

okay I feels good feels good all right

you know acting like a dog cures all

disease as you know okay well once again

this assertion that we know and great

like it there’s a certain confidence to

it oh yes it Cameron you just you did

mention a few minutes ago that humans

are animals and that’s absolutely true

dogs are our leaders and we should learn

from them now this is very interesting

because dr. London keeps telling me that

he’s my leader and I hate that and it

pisses me off but I could submit to a

dog mm-hmm dr. Lana how do you feel

about the medical science behind what

we’re learning here today I

so normally dogs are considered to be I

guess lower in the sense that you know

there are pets but admittedly when

Cameron’s support animal is a person a

hot dog vendor it I’ll admit that my

views are starting to I guess

perceptions are skewed a little bit from

from my norm the key word is hot dog

okay yes you see

is totally on my team Yesi hard heavy

I’ve known this man for about 45 seconds

and he’s making a hell of a lot more

sense than you ever have dr. London yeah

I’m here let me hearing about right now

Jiggs supporting exactly what I said

which is that people are animals animals

are people and now I’m being told that

we’re supposed to be submitting to dogs

and I like it okay well wolf could you

tell us you’re too shocked to even say

anything

[Music]

so wolf could you tell us about this

company you said something about getting

rid of germs oh yes pug it’s a goop

spelled backwards in a sense we’re

puppies obliterate our germs yeah we

completely believe that the more you get

closer to a dog lifestyle the more

better your immunity becomes and the

better your 40 chakras become more

aligned with the nature’s vibe it’s it’s

all very common sense really

and chakras I can get those anywhere

anywhere just like at the store

no no anywhere I mean how do you have um

here’s a question

mmm dogs have have you ever seen a dog

with the coronavirus the day before that

no and you know why it’s because it’s

because the corncob is that mm you said

coronavirus okay no no I haven’t go

ahead well Cameron has stopped dogs to

ask them but I I don’t know that tests

are you know are very prevalent for dogs

for Carnival and the tests I’ve been

giving them I’m just gonna tell you

right now I don’t think they’re as

accurate as I’ve been telling people

okay but wolf what were you about to say

about that well sorry it was a

rhetorical question the answer is now

no dogs have the coronavirus and that’s

because they they walk on all fours you

see okay and that makes it really hard

for them to touch their face with their

paws interesting so what you’re telling

me is that by walking on all fours as a

person exactly I’m not gonna be able to

balance to be able to scratch my little

nose or anything like that no and and

and you’ve heard the experts you do not

want to touch your face yes okay well

it’s very that part is true this is

changing my entire Quarantine trampoline

I should be bouncing on all fours yes

yes as quickly as I can away from people

except for my hot dog guy because of

that oh yeah the dog aspect yeah now

make sure to eat the hot dog from the

ground on all fours okay so this is

actually when I wanted to ask is kind of

get into some of the behavior that’s

acceptable as a human trying to act more

like a dog because I think we can all

agree all three of us can agree that

acting more like a dog is going to

prevent human diseases right no I mean

being lower to the ground okay there’s a

lot of germs we are we’ve already

established the science of what’s going

on here so I don’t understand what

you’re against

it’s you don’t want to be like a fool

dr. London do you like an April Fool no

I I feel like April Fool

so we’ve already established that dog

science walk on all four disease now but

what about fleas should i acquire fleas

yes that’s a good point should I

I don’t think doctors want sorry I don’t

think that dogs want to have fleas

doctors but they don’t have them I don’t

want to eat broccoli and yet I do for my

bones

yeah fleas fleas are a proven way to

make sure

you know you know you mentioned doctor

that these are these micro bacterium’s

called septic shock right so that’s

that’s very small relative to us but you

know what it’s not really small relative

to a flea dogs use fleas to make sure

you know the flea takes a little bit of

your blood but if Lee is looking out for

you

Wow taking care of all those little

microorganisms that cause septic shock

so so the the fleas are taking out the

bad blood oh yeah oh we’ve been thinking

about fleas this is going to

revolutionize the way we think about

fleas I don’t think it will this is a

new paradigm for flea thought did you

did you have a lot of flea thoughts

before this no but they’re coming at me

so quickly right now for example can i

buy fleas on the Internet how many fleas

do I need per square inch of my body do

I name the fleas wait does this okay cuz

even what if I’ve met flea from the Red

Hot Chili Peppers does that do anything

yes can’t no meeting flea really changed

my life oh you’ve met him as well oh yes

all the palt rows all the Paltrow’s have

met the Red Hot Chili Peppers and yeah

completely changed my life

yeah he named himself Lee as I named

myself wolf because we all understand

that getting closer to the animal we

respect is what keeps us healthy Wow and

so he why did he call himself Lee then

in relation to you calling yourself wolf

did he take your blood

oh no he’s a bassist as you as you know

you know that right yeah it’s a bassist

yeah Little Red Hot Chili Peppers

it would make sense for a bassist – what

– be a flea because that is the

instrument

fleas would play if they were the size

of a human obviously obviously no I feel

like this is a reference to a flea

circus hmm no the Red Hot Chili Peppers

yeah I’m sorry because it’s a band in

the olden days there was also the flea

circuses where they would have you know

supposedly little fleas playing

instruments and doing circus try what

are you talking about right now dr.

London I I’m just trying to get a grip

on how you would you would assume that a

flea would do this if it was full-grown

but maybe I’m off maybe I’m off no

actually oh go ahead dr. London has a

point there back in olden days we loved

the flea circus we respected the fleece

we gave them a chance to speak to the

people and back in the day no

coronavirus there was coronavirus

is that true just not this strain you’re

saying just not this strange no I

strained this has never been this

strange coronavirus this genotype we’re

talking about trains now nope we can no

we can move on so your wolf your your

big your company pug what I guess what

are your objectives then as with your

company oh we we try to make sure that

people observe correct practices in

times of pandemic oh you understand

social distancing of course right right

well social distancing it’s it’s

something wolves do naturally the

average wolf pack is six wolves

interesting and they don’t get in there

each other no no no they they hunt they

each wolf takes around 20 acres of land

for themselves to hunt and that that’s a

lot of space between the wolves

and that’s something that people don’t

do and then we just we just want to make

the point that there you go it’s it’s

been there in front of us are the entire

time the correct way to live and thus

the common phrase of blown wolf

mm-hmm exactly

is that the phrase I think so a blown

wolf yeah okay

what um when it comes to your company do

you have any products or is this more of

a cause that you’re pushing my paws a

cause I love it I love it yeah we we

sell we sell collars for people Wow

oh yes and microchips

[Music]

okay so to sort of keep track of

everything like you will keep track keep

track of your blood pressure keep track

of your blood glucose levels okay so

this unlike the the flee prospect the

microchips you know and things to

monitor blood pressure and blood sugar

those are actual medically used things

are you working with the pharmaceutical

industry so pharmaceutical industry I

just feel like as a little bit skewed a

little biased towards I’m meeting human

needs yeah yes and I see you put the

word pharmaceutical in quotes you did

sort of the air quotes with your fingers

is there is I mean is that is there some

sort of a tension between you and in

this kind of industry yeah not enough

dog paw hand sanitizers oh my gosh that

must be really really difficult yes and

you know people tell you people tell me

oh you shouldn’t touch the ground but

you know what you know who’s always

touching the ground the dog’s the cat’s

actually not a not a good model they

touch their face way too much ah they do

they do the licky thing yeah not good

wolf I do want to ask so if if a person

are wanting to make themselves as much

like a dog as yourself trying to reach

your level let’s say someone like dr.

London who you know he’s a mate he’s a

man of stubborn science and a man of you

know oh it’s not in the books how would

you take a man like this and give them

sort of a daily routine or something or

how would you transform them into the

beautiful your coat is beautiful by the

way

thank you the beautiful dog person that

is sitting before us how can we turn dr.

London into someone a little

more like yourself so with any lifestyle

change we do not advocate going 100%

all-in for a beginner that’s good

we we advocate zero to 100 real quick oh

yes

that’s that is not sustainable we were

rather you be 50% dog for the rest of

your life then 100 % dog for one week

you know what I mean

interesting so one small step that you

could take right now in this time is to

stop using toilet paper done I’ve done

that for a couple weeks now yeah way

exactly there you go toilet paper is a

very you mean you switch to a bidet is

that what you mean no no but what’s

what’s a good day I don’t know

I’ve just a dog I’ve just been dumping

my button there I see you you’ve just

looked at the toilet seat up and then

stuck your butt into the water yeah I

just dumped it in there just wash it and

sometimes drink out of it it’s very

convenient Oh see I’ve not been doing

that but you are right if I’m gonna

become more like a dog mm-hmm

step 1 dish the toilet paper done and

done

dr. Lunney can you at least commit to

that this week no no toilet paper is

very much a part of our society as a way

to to maintain explain explain the

medical science behind irrefutable ‘t

paper for your butt because otherwise

you can have you know fecal matter

remaining wrong yeah the fecal matter is

very important you know oh and you know

you can you know you know how it is how

it seems like it’s becoming harder and

harder to understand and meet people

nowadays I have well these days because

it’s because we’ve wipe off our fecal

matter dogs on the other hand smell each

other spots immediately understands what

the other what the other living being

is eating the other day but what they’re

experiencing dogs kept-kept all that

poop they’re interesting so you’re

saying I don’t even really need to clean

my bathroom I was thinking it was

getting pretty bad but you’re saying I

can just keep a lot of that stuff around

oh yeah it’s a really good way to

introduce people into your lifestyle Wow

people will just walk into your bathroom

and they’ll be like oh I know exactly

who Cameron is or when you know instead

of being like I can be like well that

this is me trying to open up to you a

little bit yeah that’s you saying hi in

multiple occasions I feel like this is

this is going downhill pretty fast I

don’t know that I support these

particular habits get down hit downhill

or downward-facing dog

oh boom he just kicked your ass dr.

London yeah so maybe wrap it up now I

let’s go on to the next next tip for dr.

London don’t go on more walks you know

the number one disease that American

adults experience is heart disease yes

why is that if I could prevent it walks

Wow okay these look that is that is a

fine point yeah cardiovascular exercise

can you know be a good preventative for

cardiovascular disease which is the

number one carry on the same page oh my

god but but but once again Lee I do have

to agree with dr. London here the only

issue with this is that you’re gonna

have to wait until your owner takes you

on a walk you can’t do that on your own

initiative yeah that’s a big problem

Cameron I love you so much and that that

is the problem there’s not enough doggy

doors being installed in all the houses

there I’ve been saying this for so long

there are not enough doggy doors both

for dogs and for people who just prefer

to use it

when was the last time you’ve seen a dog

adore I it’s been I mean almost my

entire life yesterday but oh well that’s

very progressive I love it well I don’t

use a doggie door because I use they’re

too big for it

you’re a little too cool for it handle

normal the door normally well you’re not

gonna be using a handle in my bathroom

I’ll tell you that normally I just like

I’m sorry I’m normally like a human nor

normally like in like not a dog well

this is a sort of language that pervades

our society that dr. lund exactly why

I’m here to speak on behalf of dogs and

we’ve seen this sort of kind of systemic

like specious attitude towards dog and

dog humans that people like dr. London

tried to push his quote/unquote pharmacy

industry or whatever yeah I was just he

was talking about something that sound a

lot like medical devices that could be

really useful for you know diabetics

some of which already exist I think so

boo-boo let’s hear I want to hear the

third tip we’re talking about getting

rid of toilet paper going on walks let’s

give us a third one that we can use to

wrap up let’s play catch let’s play

catch yes let’s do it let’s play catch

what are we playing catch with go call

your dad you know play catch like a dog

– a dog do dogs play catch oh yes yeah

wait wait play catch all the time do

dogs throw the ball back for you to

catch it I mean with with enough

training dogs could actually do what I

interrupt and sort of clarify something

here wolf you you replied to that answer

do dogs play catch with yes we play

catch all the time this is I I’m a

little confused on this are you a human

who acts like a dog

or do you think of yourself as a an

actual physical canine you know this is

the first time I’m gonna really get into

this but I have a confession to make I

am NOT a dog I’m sorry you’re not I’m

not I am a human who who who who wants

to be one but you know just I speak the

truth here I would say that that’s not a

dog and come to terms with then I guess

good good job on yeah maybe we shouldn’t

minimize his struggle dr. London how

about that yeah okay well it’s you know

it’s good that you’ve made this

breakthrough I guess maybe is your does

your does your cousin support your

company because I did notice here that

your company pug is the name of your

cousin’s company goop but uh kind of the

other way has that caused any issues oh

no it’s it’s really it’s it’s been great

we work very closely with each other I’m

in charge of smelling her products to

make sure they’re on brand yeah and you

know what be injured okay head sorry I’m

sorry what what’s interesting I would

say you know would be interesting is you

were talking about sort of the medical

benefits of smelling each other’s

buttholes

oh no and she sort of specializes and

candles that smell like specific

intimate body parts yes I think we could

combine these ideas I think we can get

ourselves a pug butthole candle could I

steal that idea that is that is

fantastic I am calling Gwyneth right now

who’s a good puppy who’s a good puppy

who’s a good dog you are

let’s not reinforce this okay that’s

that’s a good time to call it then all

right well thank you to our guests Wolf

River

Paltrow wait wait wait a second what

does puck stand for puppies obliterate

our germs yes I love it okay

and thank you to our producer Cameron

actually before we go on um

wolf is there a way for listeners to

reach you after this oh yeah

wolf underscore river under Scorpio og

that’s our Twitter

that’s our Instagram yeah okay all right

and a producer Cameron thank you for you

know being our producer getting the

guests absolutely alright thank you –

did you do in the house exactly

we’re on the same page oh my god this is

great but no my god this is great

[Applause]

my name is dr. Lennon smith.com this has

been the jock doc podcast

bark-bark you take a step a voice in

your head is calling you a fool for even

thinking of this idea in the first place

much less going through with it you take

another step a scrap of bark falls from

the tree to the distant ground below

hundreds of feet separate you from the

earth and though you wish to be reunited

you would rather take that particular

relationship slowly your foot inches

forward on the branch then your foot

millimeters forward you simultaneously

feel and hear a crack in this length of

wood that moments ago seemed so

dependable then you remember what led

you to this foray in the first place and

look up your shiny red balloon you grasp

the attached ribbon from among the

branches above and calmly step off the

supporting branch and begin your flow

down chuckling at yourself forever

whirring speaking of chuckles don’t

forget to leave your five-star review of

the Jock Doc Podcast in which you describe

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thanks for listening

Hey kids, you are about to listen to a comedy
podcast that means that none of this is medical
advice if you need medical advice or

medical care please contact your doctor

Welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring Dr. London Smith he’s fit as

a fiddle and works in the hospital

introducing your host dr. London hello

and welcome to the jock doc podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host dr. London

smith.com I would like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the amount

of technical medical terminology that

I’ve been using such as peritoneum and

spring break brah so I will try to keep

my vocabulary a little more simple in

the future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron and actually I should

correct myself there Cameron is not

physically here today I actually don’t

know where where Cameron is at the

moment dr. London can you hear me dr.

London yeah yeah are you crying coming

in clear

three two one DJ Dylan can you hear my

kissy noises and well one yes – yes yes

what what where are you

I am currently I’m sure dr. London you

more than anyone are aware of the all

the recent news lately all the recent

concerns on a national and international

level you talking about that the corona

virus

the who the what which is the

coronavirus

[Music]

I think it’s this norovirus I don’t I

don’t believe so

yeah it’s like the snore uh or know the

snore rona virus that’s right like I

think it’s called the corona snake and

then you you snore so loud when you

sleep your bursary eardrum it’s actually

called The Cove in nineteen technically

right but it’s Crotona or snore ona or

whatever it’s called regardless who’s

some sort of an epidemic going around

and I have done the smart thing and the

smartest thing and taken precautions and

so right now I’m in my quarantine

submarine I’m sorry you’re in a

submarine I am in a submarine dr. London

yes okay because because the advice

that’s being given to people right now

is you know if you feel the symptoms and

if you’re in a you know an age group and

have medical conditions don’t have to

worry about feeling symptoms when I’m

thousands of feet under the sea level

dr. Hahn dead

I’m staying safe coming at you live yeah

well this is a just like no this is a

recording so it’s not coming at you live

okay yeah that’s right we are okay so so

Cameron is our producer that’s who’s I’m

sorry Cameron is that is there something

outside of your submarine yeah there’s

lots of things outside of this submarine

dr. London the ocean is awesome why

haven’t we talked about this on the show

have you been down here I know well I

live on land so usually I’m not

underwater now I mean there’s

there’s little Nemo’s I see two or three

Nemo’s and I see two or three ponies

let’s see I see I don’t want to say Amer

man because I think that’s assuming how

this gender yeah okay but you think it’s

a mer creature just flipped me off

okay well also with us is DJ DYLAN IN

DA HOUSE

Spring Break

[Music]

and later on Cameron before he left for

his quarantine submarine he told me that

we can expect a special guest as well

that is right dr. London all right well

before we move on I would like to

address a bit of listener feedback this

feedback was written on the inside of

some bandages of what I assumed was a

listener and I of course received it by

unwrapping it from their abdomen after a

minor surgery quote I’m not trying to

pay a part-time burger flipper $15 an

hour learn to be more of a contribution

to society men wage jobs are entry-level

jobs stepping stones there is no reason

to retire or work as a cart pusher for

20 MF years

that’s not everyone else’s fault rant

over end quote first of all thank you so

much for your insightful question here

at the jock talk podcast we love to hear

back from our listeners to answer your

question it sounds like you are very

frustrated about the debates concerning

minimum wage unfortunately I don’t know

a medical solution to this issue doctors

can’t prescribe you know a certain wage

for people so this isn’t really and I do

have to say I don’t want to blame anyone

for any position that they’re in but if

you if you went to school to be a he was

in a car pusher like someone who pushes

cars I don’t think that’s a lucrative

industry physically pushing cars from

point A to point B I understand the

appeal and I understand that maybe back

in the day that attracted certain types

of crowds people you know looking for

these kind of freaks and you know

Guinness world record holders you know

pull in trucks with

beards and all this things but you can’t

expect to make a livable income on that

there should be a hobby okay so you

think I don’t get me started on stone

steppers he said something about stone

steppers that there’s no money in stone

stepping just stepping on stones I don’t

understand why I would have to pay for

that and I do I try to because you know

I I’ve come into you know quite a bit of

money from this podcast from our budget

and so you know I try to I try to tip

well but I don’t understand what I’m

paying for they’re just stepping on

stones I don’t like I’m sorry that the

budget from this you’re talking about

just my money yeah well in the the money

that I take from it yeah because that’s

just my money that’s not the show’s

budget I just say that the show’s budget

is our money we’re both putting money

into it

what what money have you put into it I

think I’ve put in a lot of ideas which

are pretty money and I think I’ve put in

a lot of effort and a lot of gumption

which I think a lot of people might

consider a pretty money okay well anyway

so do that listener thank you for your

question and thank you for listening and

normally at this point I would share a

tale from the hospital or clinic or

surgery ward but Cameron has actually

been insisting to me that he is ready to

take on a bigger role on the show by

sharing some medical safety tips so that

is right dr. London and I here are maybe

you’re already trying to stick to

American reservations yeah you’re

already trying to make excuses for me

huh well I was just gonna introduce you

little bit more by saying you know

coronavirus as you mentioned is a

pressing issue in the world sure so

you’re going to share with us prevention

and care that was the idea but then you

started making excuses and sort of

talking down on me but that’s fine okay

I’m sorry

you know what the floor is yours take

you know the first thing you need to do

stop sleeping

don’t do it nope again I’m sorry I don’t

know the name of this thing I don’t know

if it’s Khurana or Snow aronia or

whatever it is I do know that the one

thing that’s been consistent between all

people who have caught it is sleep

sometimes upwards of eight hours a day

and you think that that’s the problem

that I think intim I think it can’t be

at this stage it cannot be ignored

it can’t be simply a coincidence that

every single one of them sleeps every

single day okay I I don’t know a lot of

the people who have died from it sleep

even more

okay well that’s that’s not sleeping at

that point that’s death that’s you know

well Colonel rest oh okay eternal so I

would say that’s tip number one I would

say tip number two get as far deep

underwater as you possibly can get far

away down down down okay now I know I

said that I you know that the floor was

yours but I do want to interrupt and say

that sleep is actually very important

for a healthy body a healthy immune

system it’s important for you to

generate patience to get people a little

sick and ill so they have to go see who

hmm who do they have to go see and have

to be quarantined for two weeks and

taken care of by hmm would that be a doc

door mr. dr. London do you not see a

conflict of interest here well and

remember sir doctors answer me sir sir I

demand an answer answer me sir on a

technical level yeah I demand an answer

sir yeah I’m I’m trying to answer yeah

oh yeah so on a technical level yes that

would generate more patients but there

aren’t enough doctors you know like

we’re actually looking at a potential

you know sort of overflow like not

enough doctors to handle a certain

volume so ideally people won’t go to the

doctor so much they’ll you know be able

to manage this on their own so yeah

ideally people won’t go to the

dr. so they get sicker so then they

inevitably they have to go to the doctor

even more and even worse and spend more

money you’re just like like a like a

roofing contractor saying that don’t fix

your roof right now just to wait a

little while what’s what’s the worry

okay well I guess we can move I just

wanted to make that point clear and I’d

tip number three do not open your door

no why because you’re underwater so if

you open the door you’re instantly going

to drown that is not an ideal scenario

that is worse than the virus I can say

that definitively dr. London would you

agree if if you are underwater in a

submarine then yes not only the water

but also there changing and pressure all

of that would be very bad for you that’s

more’s you agree that drowning is worse

than the virus say it on say it on the

record I want to hear it I can’t say DJ

do you get effectively because both can

kill you so what you’re unwilling to say

that drowning is worse than the corona

virus right this is what it’s comparing

different you know methods of death so

it’s okay would you say that eating a

candy bar is better than drowning yes so

you can definitively say that in my

opinion and it depends on the person

perhaps all right you’ve heard of here

first then dr. London thinks that the

corona virus is the same as eating a

candy bar and so it’s nothing to worry

about and he’s saying stuff like that to

get you sick so you have to go to the

doctor went way sicker than you didn’t

have to be if you just listen to my tips

okay what is that others that all the

tips jack-in-the-box tacos you can get

two for a dollar and so if you get like

thirty of those then that’s thirty days

of food and you’re saying to take that

on your submarine yes and Oh tip number

five don’t open the door because then

your tacos will get wet okay so it’s

it’s actually two reasons to not this

doesn’t sound like it’s really a

about the virus it sounds like it’s more

submarine living tips I would say well

yeah I mean that’s definitely a big part

of it

well like preparing for the apocalypse

I’m sure that would include tips on

gardening for example well I guess one

thing for our listeners is that my my

guess would be most listeners don’t have

access to a submarine both in they need

to get access to a submarine alright tip

7 get access to a submarine I feel like

that’s the car already covered by tip 3

which was get deep below the ocean right

as opposed to by scoober snorkeling your

way there yeah okay alright well is that

is that all the tips tip no tip 8 little

fish that’s food big fish that can also

be food but all really really really big

fish you cannot eat that it’s too big

okay

how do you I mean do you go fishing from

the submarine I thought you couldn’t

open the door or anything well I put a

gun on I kind of like taped a gun on the

front of it I think gotten to use it

yeah this is all very new for me right

but the I mean the assumption here is

that my gun I’m gonna shoot fish with it

okay and then probably just scoop up the

their carcasses with a net okay and once

again to get it I guess you’ll have to

go up to the surface in order to

actually take the oh I’m not going up

that surface because this no virus okay

well I guess well we’ll go ahead move on

from there but Thank You Cameron for

your tips for your health tips Thank You

dr. London for confirming that

everything I said is the way to end well

and once okay no we can move on from

there now for today’s medical topic

hypovolemic shock hypovolemic shock

definitive being occurs right

hypovolemic shock occurs when decreased

circulatory blood volume leads to

decreased preload and cardiac output the

rate of volume loss is very important so

the slower the loss of volume

the greater the effectiveness of

compensatory mechanisms acute or fast

loss is associated with higher morbidity

and mortality causes a hypovolemic shock

include hemorrhage and that can be from

trauma like you know getting stabbed or

maybe shot by a gun on a submarine

who would will that I mean no one would

consider that trauma that is an accident

if that were to happen on a submarine

there were note you couldn’t blame that

on anyone because it’s not traumatic

that’s just an accident

and everyone understands accidents okay

and other types of hemorrhage you can’t

be prosecuted for an act it’s just an

accident right well other types of

hemorrhage also include you know GI

bleeding you know something internal

that’s posted traumatic you can also

have non hemorrhage causing hypovolemic

shock and that can be from things like

voluminous vomiting severe diarrhea well

in the gut the the other end the other

person even said that the gun wasn’t

loaded right so I mean it’s honestly I

mean it’s an accident so it’s no one’s

fault and so no one could get in trouble

for it but it’s not it’s really their

fault

okay did this happen to you Cameron I

thought you said you hadn’t used the gun

what are you saying

so I was talking about hypovolemic shock

and this is yep that is exactly what I

was talking to so hey some more examples

of non hemorrhage causes yet not severe

dehydration burns very hydrated space

losses and bowel obstruction etc

obstructions yeah and you know even like

third-degree burns yeah so if the

diagnosis is unclear from the patient’s

vital signs and clinical picture a

central venous line or pulmonary artery

catheter can give invaluable information

for hemodynamic muttering and I don’t

even think I don’t even think putting

someone into a coma is against the law

show me the law on that I don’t think

that that’s part of the law at all

well medic

it’s not it’s not like killing medically

there’s it’s different that you just put

them into a coma that’s not against the

law

medically they’ll sometimes put people

into a coma for certain reasons but

exactly so they’ll do that and so then

how could I be poor how could you know

the person who shot the gun in the

submarine or whatever be blamed for just

doing what a doctor does sometimes

putting someone do it into a coma on

accident so it’s not even anyone’s fault

and if it was someone’s fault it was

their fault okay so treatment for high

building like shock of course includes

the ABCs that’s airway breathing and

circulation as far as airway and

breathing patients and severe shock and

circulatory collapse generally require

intubation and mechanical ventilation

and in terms of circulation

if hemorrhage is the cause you’ll apply

direct pressure so let’s say you get and

yeah of course maybe or maybe the first

person you know had thought about

shooting the other person’s like a few

times you know you’re down in the

submarine you know things get a little

stressful and you know you you know you

started kind of fantasizing about stuff

like that you know like shut up just

shut up and then just kind of like

firing a few rounds just you know

everyone’s had those kind of thoughts so

I mean like that can’t even be tied if

the other person ends up in a coma

because they were shot by the first

person just because they had thought

that or maybe said some things like that

or had recorded like vlogs talking about

that beforehand doesn’t mean that it’s

their fault because it is no one’s fault

and if it was someone’s fault it would

be the other person cuz they said the

gun wasn’t loaded did you did you go

down to that submarine with someone else

originally nope just me there’s only one

talking person in the submarine right

now only one awake person well okay it’s

back to hypovolemic shock depending on

the level of shock IV hydration may be

required with fluid bolus and continuous

infusion followed by a reassessment for

non hemorrhagic shock it is not

necessary to give blood crystalloid

solution with appropriate electrolyte

replacement that can be adequate and

it’s not necessary

give blood to the person who was shot

either because yeah they lost some blood

but they’re still breathing hearts still

beating so I don’t think there’s any

reason especially if the first person

who accidentally shot them if they’re

scared of needles or anything like that

I think it would be inappropriate for

them to try to donate blood or anything

like that so actually um the second

person will just have to maybe you know

survive with a little less blood I

didn’t expect for what you were talking

about to so directly tie in to what

we’re talking about yeah so I was

talking about non hemorrhagic shock not

being necessary to give blood but if

it’s hemorrhagic shock you know you they

need fluids in order to maintain you

know adequate blood pressure well yeah

and in the end this like hypothetical

scenario in the first place they would

have plenty of the fluids because

they’re in Authority in a submarine so

they’re surrounded by it huh what

surrounded by fluids everywhere

yeah fluid fluid everywhere okay well we

can I couldn’t you know not a drop to

replace blood with be contrived all

right we can move on from there and

Cameron you said that we had a guest

today is that right that is right dr.

London okay hello hello there hi Jacques

Podcast my name is dr. London Smith this

guy and this is our producer Cameron oh

I’m sorry

that voice you’re hearing is our

producer Cameron hello can I be heard

yeah sorry sorry sorry I just I had to

using it through that sorry yeah so what

if I if I may ask are you are you well

where are you why are you on the show I

guess

oh yeah I thought I would take the

opportunity to put myself in the

spotlight I so I like to call myself the

Bobby Fischer of epidemics I kind of

like yeah have you guys not heard of me

before the Bobby Fischer of epidemics

com look that up okay thank you that’s

your that’s what you go by that’s my

name that’s my name

I I consider myself the master of

epidemic infection III seek out I’m like

I’m like the storm chaser of like

epidemics like I started in the early

2000s III and I couldn’t stop it’s I’ve

been like traveling well and I can’t

believe you guys haven’t heard of me

like I thought the producers already

knew me when I came on like when I when

I signed up for this can I ask what we

did he did you talk to him about this no

I found like a survey online and it said

like you know like sign up like I didn’t

I thought like you guys would

immediately I thought you accepted me

because you knew who I was

Cameron this this would be your job

correct yeah well yeah I mean yeah he

filled out a cert so I it was one of

those online things that was like like

which which girl has the biggest booty

and you had to like pick between like

the two photos hey man don’t know don’t

don’t like paint it like that I wasn’t

out there looking for that like I’m I I

just like I’m a I’m an influencer you

know that’s what they call me now like

in the early 2000s I was for whatever

reason you decided to do the survey but

that is the service it’s an online

advertisement where it’s got two

pictures of bottoms and it’s saying

which Fanny is the biggest and this is

of course the American usage of the word

Fanny not the British version and you

click that you filled on that survey and

now you’re here no no and yeah he wrote

down sick guy when he said when he was

describing his occupation okay mr. mr.

Bobby Fischer no I prefer not to go but

Bobby Fischer that’s that’s sort of like

it’s sort of like mice

that’s just that’s just what do we know

what I call me right but like I mean I’d

like to go by my like I don’t really

want to give up my name because I’m

actually but you just asked if I come

from money I come

no but that’s like these are like my

coat like they’re like my name my code

names you know like coronavirus it’s

like the big name now but not actually

coronavirus it’s it’s that co19 you know

thing I like people know me as the Bobby

Fischer of epidemics because I’m so

goddamn good at it yeah but you seem to

know very little about the epidemic no I

just but I’d like to like here’s a

second no let’s not fine I don’t know

why I’m being attacked right now cause

like I’m I’m here I’m here to see ward

I’ve been in this submarine for so long

I’m just bored I’m getting fussy well

I’m like the opposite I mean I’m the

opposite of you man like I don’t I don’t

have to hide in a submarine I chase the

epidemics I’m the epidemic chaser I like

to go there I like to get the epidemic

and I like to be the first to the plate

you know like I want people to know

you’re my you’re my enemy I’m sorry

so did you go to China then I yeah I

mean I mean I I’m in China okay yeah I

was because we’re all you know speaking

remotely here and I didn’t know it’s

sort of just a blank call for me because

Cameron doesn’t I mean I’m technically

in a detention center

but but I’m I’m in China you know like I

they everywhere I go they stop me you

know because like when SARS was here I

came but to China then and I was like

purposefully going around trying to get

it cuz like I want to get it I like I’m

after the virus like I want to get

infected because that’s how you get the

name you know you you get the infection

and then you’re the guy and all not

funny story

you know how right that’s the prize

right like you get it and then like they

treat you nice like they set you up real

good like that that’s special white room

treatment and then you know they deliver

your fruit food to you like I was in

China I’ve I was in Algeria for the

plague and oh three I was in Mali for

the yellow fever and

five I was in India for the malaria

outbreak you know six I mean bro those

were my big ones you know but like

nobody like really care they like

eventually I got a reputation and like

the news outlets weren’t even like

covering me anymore but like I am the

guy I am the epidemic chaser you know I

chase that storm and I get it so that

the world knows but nobody nobody cares

you know well I guess I guess it’s an

honor to speak to you and sorry you were

getting to your name earlier but we we

skipped over that noise you know no I

that’s like I’m like Batman so what do

we call evil this is this is we’ve spent

so long trying to figure out what to

call you we’re not allowed to call you

the Bobby Fischer of epidemics even

though that’s the only way you’ve

introduced yourself

no but that’s like how people know me

but what do we call you that you call me

if it just call me epidemic chaser you

know like storm chaser okay I’m an

epidemic chaser just call me fine that’s

a ceasefire economy see from now on okay

okay

II see actually let’s do EC 17 because

it sounds more like I actually like that

a lot let’s do EC 17 so it sounds like

it sounds like a 17 like a like a movie

rating that no one uses well yeah no I

don’t make that Association man like you

been you wouldn’t like bumming me out

ever since like you called me out for

that whole boobs and butt thing well I

guess I’m I mean you really yeah I don’t

know man like give me since we started

this podcast I’ve blindly picked every

single one of our guests and so far it’s

been a massive success but for some

reason this one I am I am this one’s

pissing me off

this is a first maybe I have to rethink

our guest choosing process because here

you’re coming on the podcast I just

talked about that you need to get under

the ocean to get away from this disease

to stay healthy so you don’t get the

snow rona virus and snore so loud that

you burst your eardrums and you’re here

saying that I’m a fool and that you

should go get it as quickly as possible

no no I never said that man I mean whoa

whoa I’m the other guy out there like

trying to show the world like and I just

want the pop like it’s not about the

popularity but it’s about the spot

I’m a spotlight Craver I love that shit

and like I’m like I purposefully get in

like I’m generally in good health but

then I like I tear down my immune system

before I go to these countries so I can

get it and like you know I’m in my late

30s like I’m not I’m not like super in

shape you know but like you know I so

you’re you’re you’re more of a daredevil

you’re not necessarily endorsing other

people getting the disease you’re about

pushing yourself to the extreme I can

exactly also just like I want people to

know I want people to see but like

nobody just shutting me down man like

I’m here to like get seen okay like I

want people to know and I want them to

know my name I’m the epidemic chaser I’m

the EC 17 like please like dr. London do

you think what he sees doing is a pretty

cool and radical and awesome idea I was

in Bolivia and o.9 for dengue fever I

was like in West Africa for meningitis

in 90 and well II know in 2010 like come

on like somebody give me some credit or

at least the hand foot and mouth in

Vietnam and 11 you got hand foot and

mouth disease like isn’t that I usually

add a disease that infants get what no I

I was there I never said I got it’ll

don’t make it hard to get it it’s hard

to get it man it’s hard to get it it’s

challenging as an adult yeah okay nobody

talks about nobody talks about how hard

it is to get these diseases once you’re

in the country you know how hard it is

to find people like that get through

security

like actually lick some like tiles and

like you know like door handles that

they actually touched it’s hard and we

are cleaning that stuff yeah weird

animals I mean have you nobody talks

about it how do you tried eating other

other diseases that are kind of targeted

at infants like no like what no what no

like why I’m not a baby I don’t mean

like look I was trying to be hard for me

you’re coming after me

can you already hug here I find

something odd about this situation in

that you are both quarantined and I’m

just in my study

you’re both quarantined he’s not

quarantined I’m Corey

iemon whoo-hoo I’m in the Hunan man I’m

down under I’m in here he’s trying to

land he’s in the shit he’s like the

cities’ they’re like looking at me

they’re like looking at me I mean at

least they gave me like my Wi-Fi

password and like let me like have some

outside contact but I’m not even sick

I’m not even sick I see what you’re

saying you’re involuntarily quarantined

right now that’s exactly like they’re

holding me man they’re like won’t let me

get though they won’t let me get it I

don’t think it exists could you comment

on his I mean his occupation like how do

you feel about this sort of disease

chaser yeah well lifestyle so easy 17 I

feel like perhaps don’t cave on the 17

thing you made give me the 17 just give

it to me you may have I’ve been at least

doing this since oh three that’s why I

said 1703 to 2020 ec 17 epidemic chasers

2020 okay ec 17 so you have been exposed

humbly to some risk factors for the

disease of covet 19 and so because of

that and because of your current

symptoms they stopped me in the airport

they stopped me in the airport coughing

and you know a few fever or something

but that does sound like a pretty bad

cough so no I’ve had this car for at

least 10 years which actually might put

you at greater risk because that sounds

like lung damage thinner you know

chronic bronchitis or something okay

doctor London they just asked you hey

this man who chases diseases do you

think that’s a good idea what the hell

are you talking about you’re like your

response to that was like well you know

I think the disease and if you coughing

no and the cough sounds pretty

interesting and tell this man he’s

killing himself what are you doing well

my first answer was to his question

which is his his statement which he is

that he thinks he doesn’t have it so yes

going to places where you and Chris

increase your risk of exposure

deliberately just for the sake of

coming disease is a bad health choice

hey it’s more than that it’s more than

that it’s it’s to tell the world I want

people to know and I want people to know

me I mean I’ve been doing this for 17

years well what do you want people I we

understand people want to know you want

people to know you but what else like

what are you trying to tell people

that’s what I don’t get what are you

trying to show to the world that the

disease exists no I mean it’s it’s more

like my version of it I want them to

hear my story you know I want them to

like I want that I want I don’t want

them to understand my version of it what

what is your version of it well I mean

it’s it’s my experience it’s like once

they get the disease I mean have you

ever seen like that fucking Jude Law

movie with like contagion as I was

contagious I forgot it’s one of those

it’s one of those movies I saw that for

being like in the middle of my journey

know what I mean it’s it’s all about

like you want it you want to like live

stream that you know you get the disease

and you’re going through the motions

you’re like look look at me look look

like once last time you saw like a

really good like Facebook live like I’m

sick and this is my journey through like

dengue or you know measles or some you

know like that’s that’s some serious

that’s some serious like truth man I

guess I don’t seek those out or watch

those very much because you know I could

see it in a hospital a lot so you know

those sort of things don’t appeal to me

as much but yes Zika was a real letdown

for me as a man I’ve just got to say

Zika was not what I thought it was gonna

be dr. London dirt your response to this

man and many of our other guests

continues to Wow and baffle me yes this

man is talking about some of the most

that you don’t watch medical movies is

because you might see it in the hospital

for real what the hell are you talking

about

well for one thing he is we are not on

the same continent so there’s in terms

of helping him I yeah I should say a

c-17

you should seek medical care God you are

the most incompetent doctor ec7 team are

you listening to me

okay well I think what I need you to do

right now is I need you to break out of

quarantine as quickly as possible

No okay hold on there is the idea is to

keep it from spreading but he doesn’t

have it he said I don’t have it this is

old this is old they wouldn’t I mean I

might have it because I I mean I wasn’t

that long I’ve been in the country less

than 48 hours

what oh he’s so you just you just

arrived yeah yeah yeah well I mean I was

in like I had to like get in through the

other channels right so I actually got

in through like India I’ve been like

I’ve been on a journey man like I took

the trains and I was on the buses and

then I got into like like far like West

China and I’ve just been like kind of

make inching my way cuz I couldn’t go

and I couldn’t get a flight you know

what’s the most interesting thing you’ve

eaten on your travels

I mean see the thing about the food is

that I never really know what it is

right so like I had this little like no

oh thing you say right look I’m supposed

to accept that no no like it was like it

was a little slimy you know I was like

kind of greyish Brown well it was and it

was had some stuff in it it was like

veggie mostly veggies right like I don’t

think of the right the card yeah

I’m not I’m not as familiar thing goes

are you coughing anything up when you

cough I mean it’s pretty dry it’s been

there it’s been there a long time it’s a

dry cough

damage did you see I said I had chronic

bronchitis if you’ve if you’ve had this

cough for a decade or more

then yes that that’d be the definition

of chronic is long term is what chronic

means I mean there’s a standard

definition but if you’ve had this cough

for that long

it would be described as chronic easy 17

I want it I want to get to know you a

little bit more when did that you said

this started in – well first you said it

started in 2000 and then you changed it

to starting in 2003 in order to

thousands no no in order to go by the

seven no and then starts but I SARS

right okay but I am interested in how

did you get into this why did you get

into this what what was your what was

your reasoning for getting in this

lifestyle initially just back in 2000 or

2003 that’s still debatable I just

okay here’s I I come from some money

okay like a family is very wealthy and I

had a choice you know I had a choice to

either like go do the college thing like

you know like follow in those footsteps

or whatever but like it seemed like

nobody really cared right like you know

hedge fund baby or not like that was

like I wanted to do something I wanted

to do my own thing and this was my way

of like showing the world that like you

know it doesn’t matter who you are you

know you can you can you can go and you

can travel and you can be somebody who

stands out and that’s why I like Bobby

Fischer tools like my inspiration cuz he

like he did that thing you know he was

the chest guru and and and really like

yeah like it was it was just it was just

a moment in my life when I I had to

decide who I wanted to be and and I said

alright I’m gonna chase epidemics and

I’m gonna see if I can get them because

then once and someone was like oh yeah

it’s just like a you know it’s this a

conspiracy like or like disease even

exist and I wanted to like humanize it

for myself and tell my stolen because

it’s like sure no boy what is it

no but no one says DS disease doesn’t

exist people might say that you know

like disease and epidemics are

exaggerated or things like that but I

exactly I don’t think that the concept

of disease does not know I never said I

never said I said the so it sounds like

you know some people

whenever they reach a certain age you

know the late teens early 20s they

they’ll go backpacking they’ll go you

know explore Europe or something and it

sounds like you rather than going going

exploring some we’re sort of in the

conventional way you decided to go

exploring specifically in areas where

it’s there’s an epidemic present well

and it I seem to be missing the the

point in which you decided that disease

was what you wanted to chase after to

find something bigger in this life

rather stars sorry so you just heard it

on news and we’re like oh that’s my life

now it was it was bigger than life man

it was the talk of the town like

everybody was talking about the

popularity yeah yeah and I was like I

got to be a part of that like I was an

early adopter like there I’m not the

only one man like I’m not the only one

oh you’ve got some friends out there in

the community you know it’s it’s an

online community mostly but yeah like

people talk like I like try and like I’m

like a Facebook group or is it like its

own forum I started started on MySpace

kind of went from there transitioned

over like I mean we had we were on and

well no I mean it’s like an MSN we had

like a group chat at first yeah but we

all met through MySpace and just like

finding our common threads and then you

know Facebook kind of took us to the

next level but we were we didn’t really

have like that Facebook page group

setting thing so it was it kind of like

eventually we were like early on and

read it but it was like we didn’t really

have a big following so it was just kind

of hit or miss as whether or not you

could find people ahead of kamma voice

but we’re out there man we’re or chase

him how many how many other people would

you say do this and are they numbered

differently from ec 17 it’s hard because

like they’re not actually like they’re

more interested it’s more like intrigue

and it’s hard to know actually how many

are out there on in the field like a

noted committed ya hosers were the real

heads exactly I’ve never actually met

another one of me out here that’s the

thing so I can’t speak to that

oh so you are the only one of your

as far as you are aware I mean here’s

the deal man like these are some of

these diseases are serious like they

could they could have been wiped out man

like there could have been even before

me like I might be one of like a lineage

you can’t like dismiss that shit sure

well I mean I mean do you know your

parents yeah what about your family the

ones you left behind to go travel it

sounds like it you know your family

quite a bit because you keep talking

about how you’d come from money you come

from this this wealthy family but then

you also say that you might have come

from a lineage of disease seekers like

lineage meaning like people who’ve got

who set the standard who’ve been there

before yeah I’m not talking I’m not

related those people I’m not flying okay

no my family but you said you okay okay

so your when you said you might come

from a lineage of disease seekers you

don’t know you’re just saying out there

in the world someone might have tried

this before but I don’t think so cuz

there’s no proof of that at all I can’t

Tony I just don’t buy this guy’s deal

it’s it’s very odd because normally

Cameron you would endorse the deal and

yeah I mean it’s refreshing in a way to

subtly were totally on board with this I

again I feel like it’s a personal attack

because I was just talking about how you

need to be under the ocean or you know I

know

we’re like in my case you know like I’m

surfacing right now I’m gonna get some

snacks but I said no shit listen I said

an ocean before but I mean like a like a

YMCA pool is kind of really where my

submarines at wait so you’re what about

all the fish you were talking about well

I mean that’s that’s here I feel like

someone should probably do something

about that but so I guess the MER person

was just a person I think that might

have just been I mean like just a person

which does make sense because they did

park my car okay the same person a

couple hours ago yeah okay okay I’m

sorry

easy seventeen it’s just we are juggling

this whole thing of you are in

quarantine somewhere and also Cameron is

involuntary sorry is voluntarily

quarantine himself currently and so yeah

I am trying to keep up with so I guess

to both of you have you been listening

to the guidelines on how to manage

coronavirus you know the ones from the

CDC from the World Health Organization

you know about washing your hands

frequently you know avoid touching your

face clean off services including say

your phones who are you asking that are

you asking this to know that you well I

I haven’t been following like anything

they’ve been saying I’ve just been

sticking my hand out the submarine

washing my hands that way I’m definitely

not doing it for 20 seconds I’m gonna

guess that you see 17 is probably not

doing that because his goal is the exact

opposite of that right okay well I’m

just checking here easy 17 what is your

approach been it’s been to purposefully

expose myself and break down my immune

system when I’m in the country of origin

for said epidemic okay so yeah yeah yeah

like I said I was in the airport I was

looking handles I was like trying to

like get into faces like as their coffee

you know you want that cop stream that

Media cough is the first like wave and

that’s what you want that’s what you

really really want and I mean like the

problem is here’s the deal it’s like

your body can only handle so many

diseases at what so it’s like I get a

lot of Miss misguided infections I want

this one but I got instead okay I

understand that so can can I ask it kind

of seems like we’re wrapping up here I I

do want to ask you what are your what

are your long-term goals

c17 like what is the big dream with all

of this you’ve been working your whole

life towards this thing what what is the

big dream are you wanting like a TV show

or is there is there something you’re

trying to do big picture honestly

honestly here’s the deal like I don’t

want to hurt anybody I don’t want people

to get sick because of me but honestly I

think that if I was to picture my

perfect scenario I would be the first

case like somehow I’d be in that like

market I would be like touching that

seafood and or whatever you know I would

be I would be patient zero yeah I want I

want that and I don’t wash I don’t want

people get sick but I just want to be

patient one and I don’t really know how

to do that because I don’t want people

getting sick because of me but I still

want to I want to be the number one

number zero patients over patient zero

with any old disease or are you saying

like patient zero for like the like

humanity ending apocalyptic a disease or

what do you that’s that that’s sort of

that but like that’s like if I think I

actually get that if I give you patient

zero but then somebody else could be

like patient one or two and like I don’t

they don’t get it for me like I just get

it when I go off and they’re like oh you

got it first but these guys are the ones

who spread it yeah okay you know what I

mean that’s the dream that’s I get it

you’re talking about humanity ending

disease you’re talking about human

history it’s gonna be remembered forever

you want that kind of reputation I can

kind of get that and I kind of respect

it I’ve come around on you Wow

you know I’m glad you guys have been

able to make peace in this way because

it really it was

a little bit unnerving to see two people

who seem so alike in their approach to

disease I’m gonna see you guys bicker

like you were

you’ve really you both come around a lot

all right

well on that note I think as Karen said

it is about time to start to wrap things

up thank you so much to EC 17 for

phoning in from your quarantine the EC

17 is there anything before we wrap up

here is there anything you want to say

is there anything you came on the show

specifically to get out there to follow

me at Bobby Fischer epidemic chaser

dot-com and Instagram hashtag Bobby

Fischer epidemic chaser just keep keep

in touch keep following for my journey

all right well thank you and thank you

to our producer Cameron who was kind

enough to phone in apparently from his

own self-imposed quarantine in a YMCA

pool yeah thank you – did you do in the

house I’ve been I’ve been at least doing

this 603 that’s why I said 1703 to 2020

ec 17 – demek – sir

2020

[Music]

[Music]

my name is dr. London smith.com this has

been the jock doc podcast see you 20:00

the concrete feels cold and you cheek

but the cold is a relief at this point

as you begin to pick yourself up and the

heat of the day once again pace a

scorching visit to your face you cannot

quit now so you throw yourself back to

the ground back to that cold concrete

and then you pull yourself up again

readying yourself for another plummet a

shouting voice cuts through your

thoughts for the last time that is not

how you do burpees the personal trainer

scolded speaking of scolding is

unfortunately time for us to scold you

listeners for not sharing the jock doc

podcast with your friends family and

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send them link to jockdocpodcast.com just

do it while you’re at it go ahead and

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thanks for listening

[Music]

[Applause]

Hey kids! You are about to listen to a comedy podcast. That means that none of this is medical advice. If you need medical advice or medical care, please contact your doctor.

Welcome to the jock dock podcast

featuring dr. London Smith when you

don’t know who to trust in Dr. London we

must introducing your host dr. London

Smith hello and welcome to the jock dock

podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host dr. London

smith.com

I’d like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we’ve received some feedback

about the overuse of technical medical

terms I have been using such as entha

situs and the luck o the Irish so I will

try to keep things at a more

understandable level in the future here

to help with that is our producer

Cameron hi dr. London hi solo hello how

do you do

well hey mister hey hey there okay so

when Cameron heard that st. Patrick’s

Day was coming up he began patting down

passers-by and muttering to himself

about finding those holy ticks now

Cameron I’m sorry to have to be the one

to tell you but it’s actually st.

Patrick’s Day not st. Pat Pat ticks day

Oh

so it’s a lot more trick based than I

was initially expected

I was kind of saving all my tricks for

April first but you’re saying I should

have been using them up this week okay

no I it’s Patrick I the tea is not I was

I guess to clarify here st. Patrick’s

Day is actually a cultural and religious

celebration held on March 17th the and

the reason it’s celebrated is it’s the

traditional death date of Saint Patrick

yes the foremost patron saint of Ireland

yeah yeah yeah but my issue is is that

most of my tricks I don’t think they

really register as tricks to people in

what way what do you mean well like for

example my neighbor I tricked him the

other day by he had like he usually

wipes his car down in like a clockwise

motion and I did it in sort of a

counterclockwise motion which sort of

kind of gives it a different streak you

know designed to it and that was that

was a prank

that was a trick and yeah he didn’t I

mean he didn’t comment on it one way or

the other do you think he’s sort of a

letdown

yeah like he didn’t notice because it

was an attempt at a trick by you but it

sounds like it no one was actually

fooled yeah and I tricked my dog I put

his dog bowl on top of the bookshelf so

he can’t get to it hasn’t made any

indication that I’ve tricked him lays

there for the most part yeah just hungry

now I guess I don’t know I don’t know

he’s just laying huh I don’t know I’ve

just I don’t thinking about throwing in

the towel yeah I’ve been at I’ve been in

this game for so long you know sometimes

it kind of feels good to retire you know

thought of it the game being the the

trick her prank game

yeah the trickery game that I’ve been in

man well I mean I just can’t keep up

with these kids these days sometimes

sometimes I think about calling it quits

right and I would say if if ever there

was a day probably April 1st will be the

time to do

that whenever April Fool’s comes along

and I cut my bosses hair just he didn’t

say anything about it I thought that was

a good trick were you hired to cut it no

okay how much of the hair did you cut I

cut an exact perfect bald spot in the

exact location where he’d be unable to

see it so it sounds like most of your

pranks or tricks are done in such a way

as to so that you are the only one aware

that they have been done I mean are you

telling me dr. London ‘yes even as i say

this you you’re still not getting you’re

still not getting it oh you think I’m

your boss I think I cut a bald spot in

your hair yeah have you not noticed

everyone calling you Baldy and Baldy

Baldy son well you call me that

but cue ball shiny head you’ve called me

so many things and yeah there’s stupid

head ugly there’s a small part but it’s

covered up so much don’t whistle which

is like an imbecile and a dummy I guess

I don’t I don’t listen that much to your

Knicks game artist bad friend

yes crit yeah these are teeth these

aren’t new names from you evil yeah all

right well also with us is DJ DYLAN IN

DA HOUSE

[Music]

hey mister

[Music]

before we move on I would like to

address a bit of listener feedback I

found this question when it fell out of

a broken beer bottle to listen their

feedback okay all right it is feedback

as in you know right so I found this

question when it fell out of a broken

beer bottle after was thrown at me while

I was putting an essential line quote

basically if my eyes aren’t real which

means I can’t see and my life could

belong to someone else so I can’t

control me and I’m probably being

controlled by like a robot or something

end quote

so first of all to this listener thank

you so much for reaching out with this

insightful question here on the jock

dock podcast we love to hear back from

our listeners to answer your question

your eyes are real yes thanks for

listening and how can isn’t the famous

Jaden Smith tweet that’s like how can

mirrors be real if your eyes aren’t real

uh yes you define that what’s the

medical explanation for that so the

medical explanation for that is actually

the same as for this listener question

which is your eyes are real okay so then

what medical advice would you give to

someone who is being controlled by a

robot through their eyes I would say

should they go to the doctor or they

probably aren’t like that that

hypothetical probably isn’t happening

cuz doctor London I can’t I got to be

completely honest I can never be sure if

I’m like an Android or I don’t know

well I thought about this my entire life

do you have you ever seen say like your

my memories are implanted have you ever

seen your own blood yeah but what if

that’s like robot oil well I have you

seen I mean most machinery mechanics

these boy like black oil 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 2

what does that mean well it sounds like

binary yeah except for binary wouldn’t

have a 2 at the end doctor that’s right

so that’s just a sequence of numbers you

said does that make sense

I guess so I just I just I feel like

something’s wrong 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 ok –

and now for a tale from the hospital so

in medicine an uncommon practice is

firing it’s similar to being fired from

a job a physician can fire a patient

from being that physician’s patient

similarly I which I’m sure you would

love to do with all of your patients

well no I mean some patients hire them

all and just collect the insurance

checks kicking your feet up drinking a

Bloody Mary and saying this is the life

okay so we don’t get putting on snuff

films or whatever you watch in the

hospital I don’t know so we don’t get

insurance checks for firing a patient

are you describing like I guess house

insurance or something where something

breaks or life and sugar or car

insurance where something breaks and

then it be fixed what I’m just at the

patient on fire and you say whoops I

guess it was just a faulty plug okay and

then you just collect that insurance

money they could kick your feet up watch

your snuff films like you made in the

hospital made these films of your

patients dying and they just watch them

laying you go ha ha ha ha ok I should

clarify I never know that he’s an

Android

when I say fire a patient I’m

well the example that I gave being fired

from a job it’s there’s no actual

combustion involved that process it’s a

term for having someone leave a job you

know and no longer work there does that

make sense yeah I’ll come bus to you

okay so anyway similarly a patient can

fire a doctor recently in attending at

my hospital got fired from a patient

because the daughter of the patient

thought he was the same doctor who took

care of her dad in 1991 he doesn’t know

if he did and given that hospital

records have gone from paper to

electronic since that time it would be

tough to argue one way or another so

that patient got a new doctor and to

clarify Cameron

there was no combustion involved in that

no one was set on fire no insurance was

collected just different doctor

you’re saying I have the power and to

fire a doctor yes interesting yeah

patients do have the right to choose

their doctor you might want to consider

talking to me a little different doctor

London I might have to fire you okay and

this is one point that I cannot

emphasize enough I am NOT your doctor

you need to see a doctor in their clinic

in their office you’re on thin ice dr.

London you’re on thin ice buddy like we

we only work together here with this

podcast oh that ice why is it so thin

have you seen any ice that thin nope ice

cracking okay yeah I was wondering what

that was okay and now for today’s

medical topic cardiogenic show blue room

that’s a fish under the ice after you

follow them in cardiogenic shock occurs

when the heart is unable to generate a

cardiac output sufficient to maintain

tissue perfusion so cardiac output is

the volume of blood pumped from the left

ventricle and that’s also known as

stroke volume and then

multiplied by heart rate so it’s the

amount that the heart is pumping the

amount of blood it can be defined as a

systolic blood pressure under 90 with a

urine output under 20 milliliters per

hour and adequate left ventricular

filling pressure clinically cardiogenic

shock presents like any kind of shock

with altered sensorium pale cool skin

hypotension tachycardia etc patients may

also have yeah I’m sorry what was that I

know I all you said altered senses after

getting a shock yeah I get that I’ve

experienced that trust me in altered

sensorium after you experienced

cardiogenic shock I’m saying anytime I

get shocked I get like a sixth sense

when you say shock

what kind of shock do you mean like

scared no I mean like just in my house

there’s like different points where

there’s a lot of electricity going on

I’ve had I’ve never figured out why wait

don’t we need different parts um yeah

there’s different parts of my house

where just electricity is happening like

a lot way you just kind of stick your

hand in there faulty wiring

it’ll just be different points in my

house in like different corners and

there’s just like between point A and

point B there’s just a lot of

electricity going on you have to stick

your hand in there and get it like a zap

you say you have kinda gets you like

high you don’t have to do it but I don’t

know why you would pass that up it’s

free electricity electricity is

expensive well if it’s your house then

you’re paying for the electricity so

it’s not free well and so then I get a

zap from it and I feel like I’ve got

this sixth sense dr. London okay and

that that can be very dangerous I can

actually give you burns getting electric

shocks like that like have you okay have

you experienced any because that can

cause since your bones are conductors it

can actually cause

from like the the muscles surrounding

the bones have you I don’t know it can

cause wrapping my alysus have you I

guess I have you I have it I’m telling

you I grow a sixth sense when I get

electrocuted and not what the hell are

you talking about I’m saying I’m saying

what an electric shock can do to a

person

medically I’m just saying anytime that I

stick my hand in this electricity I

develop a new sixth sense what what

since you said taste yeah you know

usually when you put things on your

tongue it feels like nothing whenever I

get a little shock like this suddenly I

develop taste and you’re never gonna

believe what it’s like okay well I guess

go on but I have another question for

you then okay go ahead

okay so taste is one of the five senses

when when people say that they have a

sixth sense they mean an additional one

no I pretty sure this is a new like

sense that no one’s ever experienced

before taste so I I can taste things you

have it too have you gotten shocked I’ve

been shocked before but not theirs there

hasn’t been any correlation between the

shock and the taste as far as you know

how like when you’re going through your

normal day-to-day and you are shoveling

stuff in your mouth and it feels like

nothing it just feels like touching like

a like a like a rock or something

once I get shocked suddenly I taste

things okay that sounds like you might

that shows the power of electricity

maybe you should visit medical topic

okay anyway did you go on about

cardiogenic shock patients may also have

engorged neck veins with elevated venous

pressure along with oh yeah pulmonary

congestion engorged neck veins with

elevated penis pressure that happens

yeah

okay no sorry venous pressure that’s oh

yeah veins is what that means there are

many causes of cardiogenic shock an

assessment may be done with EKG

echocardiogram and Hema hemodynamic

monitoring with a swan-ganz catheter to

monitor specific intracardiac pressures

treatment of cardiogenic shock begins

with the ABCs Cameron do you know about

these the medical ABCs yes okay always

be crabbing Joe’s Crab Shack okay well

actually it’s the ABCs for medicine

would be check the airway check for

breathing and then check for

cardiovascular function with you no

pulse and blood pressure then you

identify and treat the unloved and crabs

Joe crab shack in terms of medication

dopamine is often the initial

vasopressor use of long and prosper with

crabs though norepinephrine is another

consideration vasopressors are drugs

that cause blood vessels to constrict

dobutamine may also be used in

combination with dopamine to further

increase cardiac output after load

reducing agents which decrease the

pressure the heart must work against a

pump blood those are typically not used

initially because they can aggravate I

am your crab shack Joe’s Crab Shack so

you would not start with say

nitroglycerin or natural plus side you

want the crabs you can’t handle the

crabs they maybe later

they may be used later with vasopressors

for many types of shock you give IV

fluids but in cardiogenic shock IV

fluids are likely to be mr. Gorbachev

tear down this crab so patients may in

fact need diuretic or cardiac balloon

pumps may also be used and these help to

enhance myocardial oxygenation and

increase cardiac output so that’s sort

of the basics for cardiogenic shock and

manage the crabs hit the second tower

alright Cameron you said we have a guest

today is that right

we certainly do dr. London and I’m very

excited about alright cuz it’s one of

your best friends

hey hey dr. ball d’emic ball derson so

you picked up on it too you noticed

obviously well it’s just so small I can

hardly feel it doesn’t look small okay

yeah it’s pretty huge I’m sorry do I

recognize you yes me it’s Cassie Cassie

I’m saying you were you were on the show

before was it like episode 5 or

something yes okay yes yes Cassie was on

Cassie is both my niece and mine

unfortunately dr. Phil and I have gotten

a divorce so I am no longer your aunt

Cameron but I am remarried and the good

news is while I’m sad I lost you as a

nephew I have gained you as a great

grandson

you don’t mean yeah it’s a blessing that

you married my great-grandfather it’s

kind of – it takes too long to explain

how I am you’re nice and also your

great-grandmother at the same time we

don’t have it takes eight full days to

explain we just don’t have the time I’m

seeing the the table you’ve set up here

and the all the connections you’ve kind

of made with yarn

to try to plot out how you’re related

right it’s sort of like a true detective

type of solving a crime situation and I

get there’s a 3d model here as well I

mean it’s one of the people on your

thing is the yellow King which is

interesting in any case I guess this is

for my class I have to teach it takes

eight full weeks to get registered in

this into understanding how I am your

niece and your great grandmother at the

same time and so this is my class setup

and I do have curriculum for sale if you

guys are interested in teaching the

class here this is a class specifically

for teaching your your family tree yet

not teaching like other people how to do

their own family tree but teaching your

Cassie’s explaining it to the best of my

ability couple of seminars I tour the

country and I’ve done a few seminars few

retreats a lot of people’s lives are

changing Wow like weekend retreats about

well it’s more than it’s more than a

weekend would a weekend a day eight days

takes eight days to explain yeah and

people pay you for this yes people who

are really stressed out a lot of CEOs a

lot of bit higher-ups and politics they

come for it relaxes them they they have

a release oh I’ve heard about things

like you kind of sit in like a team he

or like a sweat lodge or something

and then you just kind of one-by-one go

through every single member of your

family yes explaining how you are my

nephew and my great-grandson Wow

it is this why you came on the show to

actually know this is a separate branch

of what I’m doing of my organization’s

I’m actually on with my raising granades

awareness campaign last time when I came

on we discussed how I do suffer horribly

with a cold allergy that is Rae nods yes

yeah

I simply which is a disease that makes

your feet purple everyone yes I

absolutely cannot tolerate the cold okay

well to clarify you you call it an

allergic thing so right on phenomenon is

it manifests as recurrent vasospasm of

the fingers and toes and usually occurs

in areas as our in response to stress or

cold exposure but that’s not an allergic

reaction that’s it’s just a reaction

well potato potato okay well just since

we are a medical show medical education

I do want to be clear for our listeners

yep potato potato all right so beyond

just knowing that Raynaud’s phenomenon

exists what what are you trying to raise

awareness about like just well we’re

mostly we’re trying to raise awareness

about some big issues actually something

some hot topics that are going on right

now things like global warming you know

we get together we discuss what are the

small changes that each person can make

to help increase global warming oh I’m

sorry

I rap at the disease increase so yes

okay so yes we are all about increasing

the pace at which global warming is

approaching now that sounds pretty good

to me I have heard lots of arguments for

why global warming is real versus isn’t

real but I have not heard a lot of let’s

make the planet hotter I think I can be

convinced pretty easy well we’re

freezing and it’s it’s just time that we

are where’s mom and know we are a

minority but we’re raising a loud noise

and we are saying increase global

warming now just because y’all are too

chilly oh my gosh we’re so done with

being cold we’re done so so your

solution to like rather than say wear

gloves or something your solution to

your sort of unusually reactive blood

vessels in your hands and feet your

reaction of that is to try to D to

increase the temperature of the earth so

so that you don’t have so you don’t have

to adapt I guess on a local level rather

you have the whole planet adapt to you

on a global scale is that right that

sounds easiest what are some of your

plans and ideas to increase global

warming well there’s a little mantra

that I quote to myself morning noon and

night when I wake up in the middle of

the night I say it I just it’s always on

my mind and it’s G B T C give beans to

cows and this we want to increase the

flatulence among the bovine community

and this is because the flatulence of

cows are known to be a major cause of

those greenhouse gases yes

greenhouse gases we’re saying by as many

burgers as you possibly can increase

demand if each person in your household

can get a tank that serves many purposes

it protects you right you drive a tank

and the vehicle

waitwhat yes connect the tank to the

feeding the cows beans they’re not

necessarily connected these are just all

ways that we can increase global warming

these are our coalition number two

person making small steps okay you could

take the tank to feed the cows beans

these are just ideas of things that we

can do to increase level warming we

don’t know much about it we know that

it’s happening we’ve seen a lot of

Facebook articles about it and we want

to just hop on board and see what we can

do okay and so the methods this is a

non-profit it’s a I mean I will profit

from it not necessarily in a money way

but I’ll be more warm at least just from

cheating yeah eating the earth right

which is sort of considered a profit my

lifestyle will enhance my lifestyle will

elevate when I’m not freezing cold all

the time interesting so doctor London

could you talk about maybe the medical

benefits of okay we have discussed this

on the show before but I do want to

emphasize know climate change is it’s

not good that it is accelerating the

rate at which it’s changing right now

increasing you know these fluctuation of

temperatures and especially the you know

the melting of glaciers you think it’s

all going just a little too fast it just

needs to like slow its yeah it’s just

with the rising ocean temperatures and

the I guess the rising oceans themselves

the sea levels rising

the

these are going to be causing you know

all the coastal cities to be underwater

at a certain point and so we don’t want

climate change global warming to happen

at a faster rate because you know it

could put say Miami under water what is

dr. London can you be real with me for a

second is this because of the surfing

thing because you can’t surf it’s not

you’ve always made dr. London you have

always made a huge deal about the fact

that you cannot serve and that you wish

other people didn’t serve it’s just kind

of a manners thing at a certain point

like I it’s not related to the global

warming climate change whatever but yeah

if you will consider that a bonus right

can’t have tried it can’t really really

get the hang of surfing and if if some

guy goes in front of you and just surfs

yeah okay not just can’t get the hang of

but every time you do it you trip and

like people don’t have to surf I guess

is my my personal issue and that’s

that’s this is why you’re so against

global warming you hate the idea of

higher tides which leads to more

bodacious and I these are two separate

issues I have a personal issue with

these surfers who just strut up there

and are able to surf without bumping

their noggins but no but the the rising

ocean temperatures you know Miami going

underwater shallow these are the issues

dr. London I have a question yes if you

had a cure for a patient that had been

suffering with a lifelong illness with a

lifelong disease with something that

interrupts their daily life if you had

the cure would you hold that away from

them would you not allow them to have

the key

well I would want to give them the cure

but in this specific context well this

is the cure

well I I do not think so it sounds like

a good way because for one thing if you

know much of the world if these sea

levels rise you will be affected by this

as well in a negative way just you might

be warmer in your hands and feed I can

surf

yeah we can serve this isn’t an issue

for us dr. London this is a personal for

you okay I should clarify this just just

because a person can surf doesn’t mean

that they one would want you know

everyone to be in the water a lot of

people don’t you don’t know that you

don’t know what a person who can surf

wants because you’re not what I’m

picking up good vibrations she is giving

me excitations she’s giving me exactly

it does remind me of those days I look

no I I don’t I don’t think that the

ability to surf will make you know

global warming a better prospect hang

ten Buster just hang ten that you guys

are working towards you’ve talked about

the global warming you’ve talked a

little bit about the two methods

increase in global warming you mentioned

where feed beans to cows and also get

obtain tanks yes

which for each member of your family but

we also work with some scientists who

are doing some experimenting with cat

hair we are finding just cat hair

actually is the warmest substance made

on earth and so we are just working

we’re kind of working to make a tool

that’s like a cat’s tongue like the same

texture that can safely remove the cat

hair so that we can make that into

sweaters scarves socks that type of

thing and we can remove it from the cat

humanely without having to skin it

although I would prefer that you would

prefer to skin because it’s faster and

I’m freezing oh right you’re so cool

so-called God your blue would be that’s

the rain odds you’re shivering

and if I could get if I could just get

the hair faster that’s all that I really

care about but I know that when I’m not

in a crisis situation I’ll look back and

be happy that we waited this amount of

time and got it taken care of the

correct way but right now I’m just I’m

in crisis mode

you’re just cold right and you are who

is this is this your cat but you have

that you’re holding this is one of my

cats yeah I do I keep as many cats as

possible just around just having them

around in their body heat helps because

like I said their fur is we have found

is the warmest substance on earth when

you say we have found I think you

mentioned your your team because I’d

never heard this factoid that cats have

the warmest hair is your team just

people who have cats and that’s and they

have found there has to be warm and

that’s it

or are they well they do have cats but

no they have tested almost every

substance known to man and cat hair is

the warmest of any substance and yes it

now it sort of seems like you could just

remove the hair without having to skin

the cat well that’s what we’re working

on the tool that’s like a cat’s tongue

so that we remove it completely but

isn’t that just a razor isn’t that just

a razor I’ve never seen a cat lick its

fur and the whole thing just completely

is just skin it wouldn’t razor be sort

of a middle ground between you know

skinning these cats and removing their

hair via you do not want woke Twitter on

your ass for shaving a cat with a razor

nope okay that is fair that is

completely fair there are hairless cats

though but I guess those ones aren’t but

we need the hair why would they want the

a hairless cat is completely useless it

might as well be that sort of sounds

like that’s that would be Cassie’s worst

enemy yeah it might as well be a dog

which we found has the least warmest ok

substance on earth and that’s

interesting the fact that you have said

the least warmest and the most warm are

these have you found a way to quantify

this you know objectively is there some

sort of scale of warmth well I’m not

really a part of that

I just find the scientists I don’t

really

which who is a scientist is this someone

you know just the scientific community

is just a team of scientists that I’ve

hired to find the warmest substance on

earth and they did and it’s cat hair I

what else else has your organization

been working on mostly just it’s a

pretty new organization so that’s mostly

what they’ve been working on so mostly

just cat hair increasing global warming

and awareness

yes raising awareness that there are

people that are so cold they are in a

crisis I guess why do you keep flipping

that like butterfly knife just kind of

open and closed that is disconcerting to

me as well like it you keep stroking you

the cat that you brought in and you keep

flipping this knife around how cold are

you right now

there’s not even a scale to describe how

cold I am right now

oh boy dr. London do you see what’s yeah

Cassie I guess I haven’t really any

question do you well I actually have a

more important question have you guys

ever watched Star Wars do you guys

remember when Luke Skywalker was so cold

that he cut open I think they’re called

tart ours was was Luke

see the one have you guys ever when you

watch that do you guys like get mad at

Luke or I mean do you guys kind of think

like you know he’s in an emergency

situation was he the one with the

spaceship but was Luke dr. London I

think you’re fixating on the wrong thing

here she’s trying to morally justify

what she’s about to do to this cat

Cassie we have there’s blankets all

around here they’re not made of the

wound substance again I don’t I’m not

really following how your team of

scientists who you can’t really seem to

identify and you’re speaking so vaguely

about them well I mean their names are

Barbara Chaz Richardson and Carol okay I

mean what do you want me to say about

that just they do oh they were like what

you know in association work in a

facility

that does sound bright it’s you hired

wear lab coats they have goggles dr.

London why can’t you just accept this

reality why do you have to threaten our

guests and scream at her accusing her of

whatever year I don’t think I don’t

think I was raising my voice but yeah

you just said show me the facts what’s

wrong with you who are these scientists

I feel like dusting are you sure that

that was me or was that in your head

were my lips oh it was definitely you it

was definitely you dr. London okay I’m

sorry I don’t remember doing that but

it’s honestly after after you bringing

up the surfer thing I have been a little

bit on edge um so Cassie I guess I have

another question for you do you have a

lot of cats and have you ever

I don’t do have anything against cats no

I love cats they’re made of the warmest

substance on earth but I’m wondering if

you are picking up good vibrations are

you getting no no you’re trying to

trigger dr. London

do you like anything about cats besides

their warmth is there anything else that

you can say positive please put down the

knife like you aren’t here gesturing and

why are you licking your lips man what

is that

good good bases

you come down saddens no doctor on that

you could boogie board you can boogie

board

remember boogie boarding you’re so good

at boogie boarding no that’s just as

cool that is just that is the exact same

I see Cassie do you want to skin this

cat or not you focus on your thing okay

well it one did I am I don’t my feet are

cold you see how purple they are yeah I

mean doctor and she’s me okay well I you

know in the spirit of I don’t want you

to harm that cat you know in my presence

at least I don’t approve of this you let

me let me ask let me ask it this way you

say that you like cats yes

do you have less cats today than you had

yesterday there’s really no way to know

okay well there actually there is a way

to know so however many cats you had

yesterday you take that number and then

from that number you subtract the amount

of cats that you have today alive well I

just I don’t know if they’re alive or

not I can’t I don’t keep up with all of

them they’re just wrapped around to your

body got it are they breathing I hope so

okay well living things are warmer it

sounds like than dead things and this is

just some observation it sounds like

maybe you are looking to just harm cats

you’re so desperate for this fur that

maybe you’re you know performing animal

cruelty wait I just got a text they’re

saying

oh they’re saying that actually guinea

pig fur is now the wart

I guess they hadn’t tested guinea pig

fur before Wow the scientist working

nasty oh you don’t huh you don’t want

the cat anymore no it’s not made of the

warmest substance okay well I mean I

guess I guess we see yeah that’s

something

do you J Dylan look up where the nearest

pet store is what time what time do they

close okay well I think that’s that’s

probably that’s 24 hours trust me wait

what truck the closest pet store it’s 24

hours a day past me how would you know

that

why would it I’ve gone I’ve gotten a

little crazy and I’ve made some poor

purchasing decisions at pet stores

before in the middle of the night well

just we’ll just leave it at that

do you still have those dogs in your

attic well yeah I mean that’s one of

those things I have less dogs than I had

yesterday but I have more dogs than I

had two days ago it kind of flip-flops

there’s a whole lot of stuff going on

like your abs and flies I’ve been

adopting these parrots the parrots are

smarter than me and they’ll live longer

than me and they I mean they they harass

me they keep me up at night

and any food that I buy and bring home

they eat a couple bites out of it and

they just dump the rest on the floor so

I have to eat it on the floor and so

they’re kind of feeding me and they

they’re the ones who let me outside to

go to the bathroom do they ever grab

just like bits of your clothes and pick

you up and try to fly you around the

backyard because that’s something I

would like to see yeah well they pick ya

pick me up I like the butt of my pants

is that what you’re saying the flap so

they picked me up by the butt flap on

the pants and they just stay sort of

kind of tossed me around to and fro yeah

that’s become an issue because one of

the buttons the two buttons that hold up

your butt flap they’ve actually pulled

one of us off so it’s usually you know

there’s one part the one corners hanging

down now on the butt flap of your pants

right and so then you’ve got bird filth

kind of not to mention air

whatever they had in their mouth before

comes wow it’s kind of weird getting to

know my great-grandson this well and his

nice little friend yeah I know I mean

I’m I’m I was I’m happy to have you on

the show today that I feel like I’ve

learned a lot about you yes my I mean

cousin and now great-grandmother nice

and yes you’re my I’ve been saying it

wrong Wow I need to check my curriculum

because I may have it in there wrong now

that I’m talking about it because yeah

let’s go ahead dr. London can we sign up

for the new ski retreat no that a ski

retreat based on learning your personal

relation to each other

Cassie and Cameron I don’t I don’t know

that we as a podcast would benefit from

that and we’re gonna sign up for the

Platinum yeah that sounds good that’s

more of a spiritual retreat – there’s a

spiritual level – there’s a couples

massage

of course right a couple comes with a

couple’s I mean there’s just well you

could well we don’t know yet I don’t do

J Dilla is still looking up to see if

that pet store is open okay I’m sorry if

we can get guinea pigs I don’t know okay

well I you know I don’t really want us

to go to that but we can we can iron out

these details later

so yes Cameron I just looked I just

looked into the curriculum you’re my

uncle and my great-grandson so it’s been

it’s been nice and spend the day with my

great-grandson and getting to know his

little friend is so fun you Jacque boys

are so cute keep doing what you’re doing

well thank you and vote conservative and

we we don’t really we don’t really get

into politics on here we we like to keep

it just you know evidence-based medicine

it’s really well and as your as your

great-grandson you know I’m just a

little boy and so I’ve got a big

lollipop and I kind of like to run

around the

and play my rattle in my little sailor

out aren’t you a little doll and then

also as your uncle I got you a not the

video game that you wanted but one that

I thought it was the one you wanted but

it’s like a crappy I already have this

one a lot cheaper as well yeah it’s a

lot cheaper it’s just definitely the

wrong thing yeah but you can’t to

correct me wouldn’t be yeah almost more

embarrassing yeah thank you

alright what it is good to have some

family matters on the on the podcast and

Dana I do alright well thank you –

Cassie for being on this show again well

should I just charge because two of you

are going on the retreat no should I

just charge the card that you gave me

Cameron for the yeah and I actually do

four spots because two of the birds are

gonna want to go oh okay that’ll be cool

so it’s gonna be five grand for you and

dr. London each yes each and then for

the birds they’ll have the 12 grand each

experience birds will have the massages

as well yes and they get to experience a

lot more because they’re birds so they

do get charged work because they can

they get to fly up into the trees and

have like privacy and they just get to

do things that the humans don’t get to

do so that is true I would pay extra for

flight yeah sure I mean we don’t give

them flight they already have flight but

we just charge them for the experiences

that they’ll have because they can fly

okay well anyway so thank you Cassie for

being on the podcast thank you

our producer Cameron as always thank you

to you did you do in the house

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

have you guys ever watched Star Wars my

name is dr. London smith.com this has

been the jock doc podcast ssssss Asiya

let’s set the planet ablaze you are

floating in a pool of liquid you stare

at the stalactites above and wonder wait

is it stalactites are still like mites

you continue floating so peaceful but

then you hear yell gobble away and you

find yourself being pushed along by a

car but how can a car function in the

water you realize that maybe this car is

the kind that stays on a track at a

theme park and maybe this cave is part

of a ride there this would explain the

yelling and the upcoming waterfall

speaking of upcoming don’t forget to

leave your five-star review of the jock

doc podcast with a description of your

spelunking experience on a theme park

ride following a fugue state and while

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thanks for listening

[Music]

[Applause]

Hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice so if you

need medical advice or or medical care

just contact your doctor welcome to the

job doc podcast featuring Dr. London

Smith you already know what it is

Jock boys for life introducing your

host Doctor London Smith hello and

welcome to the jock doc podcast where we

discuss fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring I’m

your host Dr. London smith (.com) I would

like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we’ve received some feedback

about the excessive amount of technical

medical terminology that I’ve been using

such as to burrow infundibular pathway

and shut up fatty so I will attempt to

simplify my choice of words in the

future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron hi dr. London hi so

when Cameron heard about secret

handshakes he began asking people to

hand there’s over so that he could learn

the secret and Cameron so I don’t I

don’t quite follow that concept like it

well why are they keeping it from me I

guess that’s what I what I don’t what I

don’t get about it is there something

like this these like secret handshakes

going on I’m like I’m not I’m not

involved I guess no one’s asking me to

have a secret handshake okay so you just

want to be a part well I just want to be

lit in on the secret if there’s money to

be made here dr. London

I really need it yeah I I’m sorry so to

clarify a handshake is the act of

shaking someone else’s hand with one’s

own and it’s used as a greeting or to

finalize an agreement and so yes a

secret handshake is just sort of a

personalized one that you make up it

even appears on Jacques Rock podcast

logo actually so I’m not really sure how

you could learn a secret from it but dr.

London dr. London dr. London if I can

get to the bottom of this secret what’s

down there you know what I mean what’s

what’s at the the X that marks the spot

it’s got to be gold right it has to be

well I just I don’t I don’t see how

there could be a secret in it like I

don’t all of this is irrelevant because

I’m not shaking hands right now anyway

right because of the you know the stuff

that’s been going on and going around

and

[Music]

you know what I’m talking about

touching people right now because of the

you know the kind of virus that’s been

going around lately so I I know you’re

worried about becoming ill but ya know

that’s why if you shake hands and then

practice hand washing after a handshake

or use antiseptic then that can provoke

a transfer do you see what I mean I get

it but I’m actually I’m actually just

trying to catch it on my own terms you

know what I mean I’m not gonna trust it

from somebody else but that’s why that’s

what I’m eating right now in the podcast

because this thing that’s been going

around I kind of want to catch it kind

of like how you catch chickenpox and you

can never catch it again well and those

thing being of course diabetes I’ve been

really really stressing about it it’s

been in the news a lot lately and I

think the solution is to kind of help my

immune system is to catch it but I don’t

want to catch it from someone else cuz I

don’t trust it I’m gonna catch it on my

own

does that make sense okay well and to

clarify on this so so diabetes is you

know it’s a problem with insulin either

you know production or sensitivity in

cells and people can get it from a

certain lifestyle and becoming

overweight and that kind of thing it’s

not you’re talking about it like it’s a

virus but you’re trying to catch it to

get it over with dr. London and so

actually diabetes usually progressively

worse since you don’t it’s not it’s not

something you can catch and then finish

with then yeah once I’m at once I’m once

it’s over then I won’t have to worry

about it again I’m yeah and declares

trying to do that even a chicken pox

actually it doesn’t go away that’s still

in your system and it’s the same virus

that you know will later cause shingles

I don’t know if I’ve been touching why

have I been touching all of these

chickens

you’re asking me why you have been

touching chickens anytime I stroll past

a chicken coop I always I’m gonna like

try to touch as many chickens as

possible because I thought that was

helping my immune system know what any

of this that’s sort of just unnecessary

exposure I’ve been playing in the mud

I’ve been touching as many chickens as I

possibly can I’ve been eating like hell

and you’re telling me this is all for

naught I don’t I don’t think it is

helping you know I like diet and

exercise and frequent washing frequently

washing your hands those kinds of things

can help you you know and avoiding

handshakes like we established well I

would say for the hand he likes do want

to get sick but just not from another

person that’s crisis yeah

all right well also with us is DJ DYLAN

IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

none of this is medical advice is

medical advice

[Music]

[Music]

whose medical advice nope and later

Cameron tells me that we can expect a

special guest so look forward to that

before we move on I would like to dress

a bit of listener feedback so this

listener feedback comes from a piece of

paper that was tied to a brick that

crashed through my window last night

quote when your kids are misbehaving you

got to wrestle them to the ground and

put a saddle on them like you would a

horse yeah that’s how they know that you

own them end quote

first of all we’d like to thank our

listeners for this insightful question

on the jock talk podcast we do love to

hear back from our listeners to answer

your questions there are many approaches

to parenting but saddling a child for

the purpose of displaying ownership is a

fairly atypical one and so I cannot you

know I unfortunately cannot endorse this

method it didn’t crash into your living

room it kind of swung in there I just

wanted to clarify that swung I I wasn’t

looking when it came in so but the

window crashed was my point like it

broke the window and the sound was a

crash and how do you know what it

sounded like

or what it what it was because I

understand the difference between a

crash and a swing that was clear it was

swung in there didn’t crash and here

you’re being dramatic

I you think I’m being dramatic because

it just go on just continue okay well in

any case so we can’t endorse that method

of parenting because it could harm the

child

but once again thank you for your

question and thank you for listening and

now for a tale from the hospital we had

a 75 year old patient who had fallen off

of his horse and bro

his femur he noted that this has

happened before and so anyway after he

fell off his horse he then scooted on

his back for the length of two acres in

order to find help

he developed a an infection post-op but

he ultimately did well while asking if

he has anything in his medical history

that might be relevant you know to this

infection and the post-op issues he

noted that the post-op infection is

similar to when his helicopter was shot

down in Vietnam and monkeys through

feces at him he developed a bad

infection then too and asked if this

could be related to his current

infection I I told him that it was

probably not really I wouldn’t I would

actually say that if that happened to me

almost any infection I got after that

point would probably point back to that

moment right no I mean not necessarily I

feel like once I’ve been attacked by

monkeys I would say most of my life

problems could point back to that well

so in this instance the and with any of

these operations and infections you’re

looking for things that could have

gotten into that wound and so it’s more

of a the problems in the present than in

the past that would be applicable does

that make sense

no dr. London I’m saying if I couldn’t

even get into a six flags I would

probably blame the monkey thing okay

almost everything would have to point

back to that so if you ever had

something traumatic happen to you at one

point you would it not just feel the

burden of that but you would attribute

future any any incident in the future to

that one experience most of those

incidents are going to be infections

let’s be a real knowing my history right

I most of the big events in my life are

infection related I think that’s pretty

clear well but mostly due to your own

actions well that’s neither my own

actions caused by the monkeys from my

past it doesn’t matter who is at fault

here

what I am saying is that most of the

Facebook memory like life achievement

goal things on my Facebook feed most of

them are based on contracting and

getting rid of various infections

whereas a lot of people might have like

their wedding the birth of their child

mine is mostly the foot thing is back

yeah the thing is larger mmm the foot

thing is louder it grew back I cut it

off yeah

the foot thing has its own foot thing

now yeah that one was the foot thing

still has a Twitter account right the

foot thing it’s not really a Twitter

account as much as it is sort of a like

a like a live Journal that he hooked up

to a Twitter account right so the only

thing that it tweets is its posts and

its posts are mostly complaining about

its own foot thing okay so so I guess we

can’t recommend to our listeners to

follow that it sounds like it wouldn’t

be that good experience all that to say

like should I be touching monkeys as I

passed them no no please refrain from

you know touching any wild animals that

you encounter well I mean how wild is it

really if it’s wearing a hat while it

could still be wild even if it wears a

hat you can put a hat on on a lot of

things does that seems that is true

that’s valid alright now for today’s

medical topic atrial myxoma in atrial

myxoma is a benign gelatinous growth

typically pedunculated which means that

it is attached to a sort of stalk or

stem and it is usually arising from the

interatrial septum of the heart in the

region of the fossa ovalis so that is

the upper middle part of the heart on

the wall that separates the two upper

heart chambers it is the most common

primary cardiac neoplasm and neoplasm is

a term for a new and abnormal growth of

tissue

although benign atrial myxoma z’ can

embolize or break off from that stock

leading to metastatic disease or the

atrial myxoma scan cause relative

valvular dysfunction clinically atrial

myxoma z’ proto typically present with

fatigue fever okay that makes sense like

fainting palpitations and a low-pitched

diastole you mentioned relative

dysfunction relative valve uk’s function

that would explain a lot about a lot of

the stuff that’s been going on with my

family if we’re talking about relative

dysfunction if you’re saying that’s a

heart thing that cut that’s causing it

that would make so much sense okay I

should clarify on this point when I use

the term relative here I mean it’s in

relation to the topic that we’re talking

about so it’s it’s dysfunctional

relative to the normal valvular function

does that make sense I mean just like I

remember the time when my dad ran over

my grandmother’s four-wheeler with his

own four-wheeler and kind of a stripe

that that caused our family and thinking

it was hopeless because of my relatives

dysfunction but now knowing that it was

actually a disease all along and it

wasn’t just because he shotguns like a

six pack right I went buck buck crazy

well I I don’t know what a sense and I

wish I knew that before I’m growing a

lot from this podcast dr. Linda thank

you okay well I guess there is some some

benefit in at least empathizing with

their situation even though I can’t say

whether or not it was a heart condition

in any case atrial myxoma is also can

present with a low pitched diastolic

murmur that changes character with

changing body positions and this murmur

is sometimes known as a diastolic plop

treatment

is typically surgical excision are you

winning are you wanting me to make a

joke on plop dr. London are you wanting

me to to riff on load different noises

and different positions or whatever well

being a plop is that is that the goal

here you’re trying to bait me no I

that’s the name commonly used the term

applied to this

my father ran over my uncle’s skateboard

with the four-wheeler after shotgunning

a whiskey bottle and to know that it was

a disease all along and once again I

really can’t say whether or not he had a

heart condition that’s well at this I

mean we know he doesn’t have a heart at

this point I cuz after he passed and

those grave robbers dug him up that was

the first thing they took is they go for

the heart first I guess something was

scooped out of there you mean out of the

grave

well yeah an out of his body cavity huh

okay this sounds like a whole extra

mystery to solve but I feel like we can

just move on from there all right

Cameron you said that we have a guest

today is that right we absolutely do dr.

London all right hello there hey how are

you guys doing hey my name is dr. London

Smith calm this is our producer Cameron

and you’re on the jock doc podcast what

was your name uh I’m really excited to

be here it’s John Smith but hey my

friends call me quarters so just just

call me quarters I’m cleaning quarters

yeah like like nickels dimes and

quarters that’s right like like quarters

it’s okay thanks I I got it it was based

on like all the quarters that I stole

from my mom’s first growing up oh wow so

you’re a you’re a man of loose morals um

I I mean I was uh I don’t know if I

still AM I mean I don’t still quarters

anymore so I mean you just have your

nicknames yeah it was it was something

that I did as a kid and you know and

it’s something you were so known for as

a kid

well yeah I mean I you know you I know

you guys are makai m– you know probably

twice your guys age you you might not be

aware but that you know one point in

history kids were really excited about

getting quarters because it meant they

could go to the arcade and play video

games and so yeah the fact that I always

had quarters kind of stood out but you

were famous for stealing the quarters

yes yes so this was so I I guess I’m

just trying to figure out at what point

did your friend say this is your

nickname now quarters this is because

you’ve stolen so many of your mom’s

quarters I just don’t see that happening

it kind of sounds like you gave yourself

this nickname I I resent that

implication uh you know it was it was it

was absolutely given to me by my friends

it would be happening when we were at

the the video arcade and they would not

have any quarters and they would come up

to me and hold out a dollar bill and say

quarters and and I would give them

quarters alright dr. Ellen can I talk to

you in private real quick yeah yeah it

sounds like yeah we dr. London so first

of all this dude’s a thief I’ve got a

shit ton of quarters in my pocket right

now dr. London oh now I’m really worried

about them yeah well they were jangling

a lot you keep shaking your pants around

to like dancing well yeah I like the

noise that they make yes I it was hard

not to pick up on it incidentally so

we’ve got a we got a thief here as a

guest and he’s a liar he’s trying to

convince us that he didn’t give himself

the nickname quarters when obviously he

would have had to cuz otherwise how

would his friends know that he stole all

these quarters from his mom I am pretty

confused that still is stealing from

your parents is a secretive thing

usually but he must have done it enough

to get the nickname

anyway let’s say and his friends just

thought that was like so awesome so

awesome that they started calling him

that name you know there’s no way that’s

true

alright let’s get back yeah I can’t

remember how we caught this guy on the

okay so um so quarters we can you know

it doesn’t matter how you got your

nickname or whether you had friends IIIi

I mean I absolutely had Fred’s I mean

they would come up to me with these

bills all the time and say quarters

quarters and and I would give them

quarters did you ever think that and

this is just a general question here

were you supposed to make change for

people and was that just a request of

there’s not necessarily a nickname I

mean you’re I did work at the arcade so

yeah I mean so that was part of my job

but still I mean everybody was calling

me quarters all the time I took it as a

nickname they never called me John yeah

did you have a name tag or anything

saying John I mean it was a pretty low

budget place I don’t I don’t think I did

write a long time ago but I no I don’t

think I did and these were your closest

friends well I mean they were they were

friends they were people they were

people I knew from the arcade yeah

colleagues of yours so John I mean you

know we were kids a colleague is kind of

a you know I mean I mean we went some of

us went to the same school mister

quarters I do have to ask why are you

here today

oh well it you know as it happens it

ties back to the video games I I’m here

because I’m hoping to get your help in

producing a new medically related video

game

Oh interesting well I actually had an

idea for like a medically related video

game though I’m all hopefully you’re not

hopefully you’re not stealing my idea I

honestly I mean if you mention it on

this podcast which is being listened to

by I’m sure you know some listeners then

it’s gonna be pretty obvious I couldn’t

just steal it but I would absolutely

give you credit you know somewhere

buried in the game which would be great

exposure for you okay so okay I’ve got a

pretty good idea and that I’m pretty

proud of a mine is called defibrillator

here oh okay

is it like Guitar Hero yeah you use like

a defibrillator peripheral that plugs

into the machine then you take your

friend and then you just kind of shock

the hell out of them you know just like

you just hold them down and just go zoom

[Music]

okay I love the idea I love were you

going with it

would this be done to music I mean you

can listen to whatever you want like I

don’t care I don’t have control over

that well I I’m just thinking in terms

of you know there are other games that

are similar to what you’re talking about

are they in that they have instruments

that you play for the video game but

they’re they you know the game plays

music and your objective is to play the

instrument in time and push the right

buttons with the game oh you know see

the objective of this one is to save

your friend’s life so your friend is

about to die because of whatever you

just injected in them or whatever I

haven’t figured that part out but your

friend is on the brink of death your

goal as the you know defibrillator hero

is to save your dying friend that’s

dying before you okay okay I see where

you’re going

so my question on that one are they

dying in real life or just within the

the videogame I would say I mean I would

say both if you’re dying in real life

you are sort of always dying in the

video game – yeah if you die if you die

then you that is definitely like a game

over you’re done with the game I I think

I think that’s a great point I mean in

today’s world you know video game

technology is advancing by leaps and

bounds Virtual Reality is becoming very

prominent I think having a virtual

reality game where you shock your friend

and they experience real electrical

charges across the chest or wherever you

place the are they called paddles in the

game that would be very lifelike and

realistic yeah and I think I think

bringing your friend to the brink of

death even before starting the game to

make the actual goal have real stakes is

sort of the thing that we kind of have

been expecting at a VR you know we want

this to be real life I I kind of meant

it reality and mobile games here’s the

thing of and strategy games it sounds

like what you have to mention RTS is

yeah it sounds like what you’re

describing if you have no actual video

game aspect you’re pretty much just

poisoning your friend and then using a

defibrillator on them and it doesn’t

sound like a game it just sounds like

you know attempted murder

it’s sort of like a multi-faceted

alternate reality game slash augmented

reality game / mobile virtual reality

experience you know I really I respect

your medical experience but I mean it’s

clear that you’re not a video game

player are you he’s not a gamer I I

dabble a little bit I’ve played a few

games but no no dr. London’s not a gamer

he has never once thought of shooting up

a school

never once I don’t understand that how

can you even claim to be a casual gamer

if you haven’t you know ripped off a

prostitute or shot up a school

in a game somewhere yeah yeah I guess

yeah I’d say more of a Nintendo kind of

guy you know something that’s a group

game that you can you can get to know

someone else while you play it’s a fun

group interactive thing um

I mean even those games are extremely

violent I mean even even going back to

the early Nintendo days with like Super

Mario World have you not noticed what

Mario does to all those other characters

in the game I mean he jumps on them and

squishes them Tom Nook is a slave owner

uh Cameron I’m gonna be honest with you

I don’t know that game can you elaborate

from Animal Crossing the sort of uh land

lordy type of guy that you get a loan

from and every single Animal Crossing

game Tom Nook he’s a slave driver huh

yeah I honestly that is one of the games

that I haven’t played so I’m not

familiar but I I do believe you I mean

if you’re borrowing money from someone

in a video game

it’s it’s a well-established video game

rule that money lenders are slave owners

absolutely

so quarters I want to hear a little bit

about your game right okay so the the

game that I’m proposing as a medical

experienced game is something that will

teach about the the benefits of

radiation the premise is that your

character it’s a it’s a first-person

kind of a cross between the first-person

shooter and a role-playing game your

character is a survivor who’s been

living underground for several years

after a nuclear holocaust and he and

it’s it’s it’s it’s referred to as a

safe and so you’ve been living in this

safe for a long time with other people

but I’ve worked out the premise yet for

some reason you leave the safe and you

emerge in a post-apocalyptic wasteland

and there’s radiation everywhere like

everything with all the food all the

drink is contaminate

you know you encounter different people

some of them have been affected by the

radiation and you know and if developed

super strength or like you know

immortality because there’s some

physical side effects but overall I mean

obviously clearly positives and you know

you kind of go around this area helping

the community out I so this game doesn’t

sound all that medical the way you at

least the way you’re describing it here

it sounds like maybe for one thing it

sounds familiar I think if I think I

know this game III don’t know how you

could’ve it’s a completely unique

concept III disagree that it’s not

medical I mean a big feature of the game

would be that you know from in various

places you you might get injured and you

would find things called stimpacks and

they would restore your health so that’s

clearly medical like a stem degree yes

exactly

see dr. Condon well there there is a

game out that’s famous for being sort of

in a post-apocalyptic wasteland those

are referred to as the Fallout games but

even if even I don’t see the similarity

at all well there’s no there’s no little

like blond guy given a thumbs up or

whatever no we absolutely would not have

that well so one of the other aspects of

so radioactivity will cause you know

things like cancer potentially and it’s

maybe like maybe like a larger in some

places you know I mean I mean IIIi think

that I did I mean I I okay you know I’ve

spent some time on the internet reading

about radiation and also reading a more

extensive literature

about what

radiation can do and I mean it’s

well-documented that radiation can

trigger all kinds of beneficial

mutations like super strength or

invisibility or you know I mean just a

number of these things I mean it’s

there’s lots of literature out there

about this there’s a test taste test

ability you’re able to anything you

taste you’re able to pick apart the

ingredients so uh you know I’m not

familiar with that one but I certainly

believe it so I think the literature

that you’re my dad

he can eat any flavor at baskin-robbins

and if you give him you like three or

four guesses he’ll be able to get pretty

close that’s amazing I wish I had a

skill like that I mean that can we put

that in your video game um I I think

yeah I think it would be really great if

the if that would be one of the benefits

from the radiation that the main

character could choose to adopt I mean

that’s good a great part part of the the

medical aspect of this is that you get

to choose your mutations and you know

not everybody might want the same

mutations I mean we don’t want to make

the game you know monotonous and boring

but this is the sort of medical realism

that has been missing in a lot of video

games wouldn’t you say dr. London yeah

well I here’s here’s the issue I see

with it you say there’s a lot of

literature that covers this specific

topic of these effects of radiation I

the only literature that I know of that

is emphatic and documents that kind of

thing is fictional literature like comic

books you know superhero kind of things

I mean they were superheroes yes didn’t

at one time scientists and doctors say

that the earth being round was fictional

thank you before the modern age of

medicine they said the past doctors said

the the earth being ground that’s a

fictional book so how about that and I

would point out that there’s there has

been a tremendous amount of fiction

that has turned out to be based on

reality moby-dick

absolutely and so I mean big whales you

see whales

there are whales out there so who’s to

say that these what you call comic books

which frankly I find dismissive it you

know aren’t actually you know real

literature about the benefits of

radiation or or Oliver Twist right

orphan boy right

I mean orphan boys are real okay and I

should clarify a point here that just

because they are you know from a work of

fiction doesn’t mean that there are

aspects within that work of fiction that

are you know based on reality

there are orphan boys in real life if we

go back to the super do they want more

and sometimes orphan boys are hungry for

more

okay so I it sounds like we’re all on

the same page here well I just want to

clarify one point because this does seem

to be something you’re skipping over

here is that just because aspects are

based in reality doesn’t mean that some

of these other parts like for instance

the effects of radiation on a human body

some of those parts are taken to

exaggerations so instead of in the

comics instead of causing cancer they

will often cause you know superpowers

you’re like super cancer right or

spider-strength

or shooting webs out of your wrist sir I

mean spider-strength cancer you’ve got

super-strength cancer you’ve you’ve got

the kind of stretchy ability you know

cancer right x-ray vision cancer

invisibility cancer all of those cancers

right but III okay so I think dr. London

I think I get what you’re saying

one of the challenges in dealing with

some works of fiction or what we call

fiction is that they haven’t happened

yet even though you know a lot of things

have from fiction have happened which i

think is prettiest you know good is a

pretty solid establishment that

you know fiction becomes reality I I

think what your objection here is though

is that it’s sense it’s not actually

been proven yet even though it will be

that maybe you want something a little

bit more historically established

something that we can point and it say

yep that was in the past that really

happened would that be more to your line

of thinking as one of the game producers

sure and I should clarify if it’s just a

game you know then it’s fine it’s just

if we’re gonna call it you know

something that teaches us medicine then

we can’t you know it has to be factual

and evidence-based well I know the whole

point here is to create a medical game

yeah and and part of this Agreement that

I this sort of slipped my mind I forgot

to ask you about it earlier dr. Londe is

that you are going to be on the cover of

this game giving a thumbs up saying I

approve of everything in this game and

everything this game is real okay right

and also you can play smarter than your

doctor that’s one of the things you’re

gonna say to endorse it I’m sorry

quarters did you just say that I have to

dye my hair blonde for that yeah and and

you know dye your hair blonde give that

big thumbs up right oh you know that

sounds a lot like the logo for that that

other game that seems very similar and

you’re just you know that’s clearly a

cartoony character we’re talking about a

real photo of a real person real

feel–it photo of a real person with a

few Photoshop effects on top of it that

make you look like maybe like a drawing

and you’re gonna say everything in this

game is medically accurate i stake my

career on it I you know Cameron I’m

gonna have to give you credits for the

arts and graphics now too so well done

oh thank you well quarters back to what

you were saying let’s hear about this

other hopefully it’s maybe more

medically relevant game you said

something historical right so okay so

another way we could go with this so

again you know we want this to be an

interactive game so I’m still thinking

first-person four

perspective but let’s set it in the past

let’s say that you are a person who is

wandering around a large expansive

historical timeframe where you know like

the there’s really not much technology

you know you might see windmills you’ve

got horse and carts you know certainly

like blacksmithing and such and but you

know I mean but then then this is a time

period where there’s still magic and so

you travel around this land and you meet

a bunch of different people and it turns

out that your character is to send it is

it has something called Griffin born

which means he’s able to speak the

language of Griffin’s and uses this

power to sort of fight off an invasion

of Griffin’s but you know where the

medical part of it comes in is that he

would use like bandages to heal wounds

whenever he gets injured you know all

kinds of opportunities to heal oneself

because of the you know the damage that

would be taken okay so so here’s the

issue I see with that game is that it

doesn’t really sound medical at all

except for the very small point which is

present in a lot of games as far as I’m

aware where they use bandages to heal

themselves because in these games

characters get heard they get hurt I you

know what I forgot to mention probably

the most important point because of

course historically when we still had

magic a lot of the magic was used for

healing okay well in this this doesn’t

help us that much because you know magic

is not a regular part of medicine today

regular part of your practice because

you have not learned it you know you’ve

not trained in that aspect of health and

medicine right dr. London well in our

you know Western American you know

evidence-based medicine we don’t really

use magic don’t really study that so

much III

I’m I’m really shocked I’m so sorry

Horner’s just the blatant racism in that

that just that whole Western sorry that

all western-centric like you’re

dismissing entire cultures you know

tremendous senses of spirituality and

magic in their history and and you’re

all about this whole western-centric I

mean wow okay and I guess I should

clarify there that this is since you’re

appealing to to me as a medical

practitioner I’m trying to just you know

tell you what context I’m looking at it

from so you could probably you can maybe

get an endorsement from say witch doctor

or you know someone at least you’re

acknowledging that witches or doctors

I appreciate that much so I’ll give you

some credit for that but you don’t think

mages are doctors to dr. London

I don’t regularly encounter mages but if

they don’t have you know a doctor it

horse you so you don’t get out of your

little rich person bubble duty I mean

seriously that the privilege on this one

I camera and III I don’t I don’t I am so

sorry it’s just his elitist snobbery I

ate it’s constantly like this III think

I think we need to move past it and just

deal with what we got here okay so how

can we assist you in making this game a

reality and endorsing it fully well I

mean it’s it sounds to me that like dr.

London has another problem with my ideas

but you know so I have others but I mean

that the the core thing we’re looking

for here right now is a basically

funding for project development and

that’s where we were you know since

we’re doing a medically based game you

know we were really hoping that you know

this very well-to-do elitist doctor with

his extensive you know debit card

could you know fund the project and and

and be a contributor to some of the

ideas and I am here to tell you today

quarters I’m very excited for this

partnership we not only are going to

help fund your game by donating one

dollar per pixel in the game but we are

also going to produce it under our own

company that is more than I was hoping

for but I am I am very happy to accept

that offer this is I think this is going

to be an exciting project okay okay

Cameron don’t don’t take out the

contract now we want to talk about this

with lawyers and things you just go

ahead and sign here and actually I don’t

put any number you won this box just how

are you okay so let me see here I look I

don’t want to

I can’t medically endorsed this direct

access dr. London’s garage it says right

there yeah I think which is great we

need a place for the developers to sort

of you know we we need a new workspace

to be able to get them all in with their

computers I mean we’ll probably be

working like 18-hour days and just

sleeping right there where we work but

yeah I think 25 million with a with a

with an option for another 10 okay sweet

over budget okay let me let me talk with

my with with with my doctor and let me

let me see if we can negotiate this deal

dr. London this is a steel we have to

take this off this is no deal zero

chance dr. Linda we have to take this 25

mil someone else is gonna jump on this

did you hear his medical ideas i we’re

gonna be teaching people medicine

through ways that they actually care

about magic and stuff and once again and

that game he’s describing sounds a lot

like skyrim which is a very poppy

game that already exists yeah but with

none of the medical expertise that

you’re gonna be bringing to the table

yeah exam more than the 25 million it

sounds like my medical expertise will

not be brought to the table it sounds

like he already decided how much he’s

gonna use buddy Hey okay I see what

you’re worried about now you’re worried

that you’re not involved enough but

you’re gonna be on the cover

no one’s gonna take that away from you

that’s not involved and uh all right

let’s raise okay let’s raise the price

to 30 no let’s bring it to them okay

quarters quarters my man Hey

ooh you drive a hard bargain but I’m

gonna I’m gonna I’m gonna have to offer

you kind of give you a counteroffer here

holy okay we’re we’re willing to go to

30 million okay no I I’m gonna need to

think about that okay okay

we can finish now I think we’ve I think

we’ve got enough here for I think we’ve

gotten all the medical knowledge that

we’ll get out of you know our guest

quarters here I you know I I tell you

what Cameron you drive a hard bargain

you really do but I think the value that

you’re gonna bring to the project

Cameron as the artistic with the

artistic credits and also you know

creative contributions you’ve already

made I I think that’s gonna be well

worth it so even even though dr.

London’s you know it might be a little

bit sketchy on this I think we can work

with it we can work with we can make it

work all right we can make it work ah

okay well I think that’s that’s a good

enough time to call it all right well

thank you to our guest quarters for

being on the show today pleasure to be

here and I’m looking forward to working

with you both all right

mainly mainly with Cameron absolutely

all right and uh is there any way that

papel that’s me gaming buddy

now I got to put you on sound effects

now I got to put you on sound effects

yes is there any way that listeners can

reach you or follow you after this yes

that’s quarters at completely not a

copycat game.com again that’s quarters

at completely not a copycat game.com

okay all right well thank you two

quarters for being on the show today

thank you to Cameron as well our

producer yo-yo thank you to dude you

doing the hose yeah you use like a

defibrillator for in fuel that plugs

into the machine then you take your

friend

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my name is dr. London smith.com this has

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