Hey kids well sit down sit down

hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy what did i say

what did i say you’re about to listen to

a comedy podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice

okay you sit down right now or

so help me if you need medical advice or

medical care

please don’t you dare i’m gonna count to

three

one two i’m sorry please contact your

doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr london smith

and let’s get one thing straight here

you cannot

cancel dr london you cannot cancel the

jock doc podcast

it will not work we don’t have enough

listeners for that to be effective

nope introducing your host dr

london smith

[Applause]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

dr londonsmith.com i would like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as inefficient detrucer muscle

activity

and all of those in the house say whoa

say what i’ll try to temper my

terminology

to a simpler one in the future yes here

to help with that is our producer

cameron

howdy dr london howdy

so cameron is so dedicated to making

sure that

our podcast stays relevant that when he

heard that bastille day was coming up

he began painting himself head to toe

and camouflage

in preparation to go quote steal them

bass so

cameron so you know bastille day

isn’t isn’t a stealing you asked

yeah but you’re misunderstanding

everything that i’m doing

i’m okay i am painting myself in

camouflage but not traditional

camouflage i’m painting myself to look

like

the lead singer of bastille you know the

band that’s okay

yeah so i’m i’m camouflaging myself as

him

so that i can go on stage with

them okay and i’m sort of camouflaged in

and then i can steal

the bassist’s bass okay

so so i wasn’t wrong on that for

bastille day you are stealing a base but

it’s from the band best okay okay yeah

yeah by camouflaging myself as

that guy yeah

well and just for for the sake of our

listeners to clarify

so bastille day is actually a french

holiday

marking the anniversary of storming the

bastille

which you know it marked a turning point

in the french revolution in

1789 but uh also like

it’s just like uh les maz

oh you mean les miserables is that

um these people weren’t miserable nope

these lenses

and this was not miserables wow

okay i guess maybe we’re talking about

different things then

so what like actually i guess i

maybe i don’t want to know so also with

us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

this is one deal just one deal

all the fellows in the house say whoa

i’m dr london smith i would like to be

relevant i would like to be relevant i

would like to be relevant

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

true

[Music]

oh

[Music]

hey

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

finally

[Music]

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a

oh it’s a doctor today that’s right dr

london

okay does he keep hounding me again for

our guests

it seems like i bring in these people we

have some of the

wackiest people some of the funniest

people

some of the kookiest people that i’ve

ever met

and yet every single week you’re like

these people aren’t professionals

they’re not offering any kind of advice

they’re not helpful to anyone

that keeps keying my car please tell

them to stop keying my car

yeah well it’s the king my car does

really get on my nerves but that doesn’t

even matter

with stop bringing your car

uh that’s that’s what you see as the

problem yeah

yes because you would be nothing to key

if your car wasn’t there right

well uh before we move on i would like

to address a bit of listener feedback

so concrete was being poured in my

neighborhood today for a new sidewalk

and this note was written apparently to

me

along with some handprints next to it

and i gotta say some of our notes from

the listeners they kind of feel like

they have more context

than i’m necessarily aware of but

anyway this one appears to be an

exchange of sorts the note reads quote

my ex-husband james if you’re reading

this

you owe me half your estate and then i

think this is a reply of

come get it yourself okay and then the

response

uh lift the restraining order against me

and i will

and then back uh not so you give me my

son for

father’s day okay now yeah but

dr london can i interrupt you here for a

second okay

why do you think that this is directed

towards you in any way it

kind of sounds like it’s directed

towards one specific person

who was then replying yes yet what is

this

arrogance that you see something written

in the sidewalk that’s clearly written

to someone not

you and you say oh i bet this is about

me

oh this is to me

yeah i guess okay i guess i didn’t see

it that way because like

you know it’s my neighborhood you know

yeah i mean is it even in front of your

house

well it’s a lot of

much of the world is technically in

front of my house you could say

that is extremely fair yeah yes right so

anyway we i guess we can finish the

quote there yeah i mean

this is just just calling into question

all of these bizarro

notes that you’ve been finding over the

last few months

you find stuff like like

tacked to a sandwich and now i’m

questioning

was this your sandwich or is this a note

left for somebody else then you just

stole the sandwich because you said

oh this must be mine i mean like

yeah bring sandwiches so you okay

so you you’re at work at your doctor’s

office or hospital or wherever you work

and you look in the fridge and you see

two pieces of bread and stuff in between

that

and you did not make this item

you did not purchase it nope but what do

you think when you see that

well i i look for a note first thing

uh-huh

and if there is one well then i’d

you know i i think oh okay good so some

listener feedback i can know how to

improve my podcast

so i can educate better you know in the

medical

world this is making so much sense so

uh your listeners are leaving you clues

yeah okay good because i’m sorry for a

second i was really

i was becoming unsure of myself

listeners i want to thank you so much

for leaving all these

secret spicy clues for dr london to find

leaving messages to another person in

front of someone else’s house

and it being some sort of code that

maybe we’ll figure out at the end of

this episode

that’s genius i love it i love our

listeners dr

london i know they’re they’re so much

more involved

and ubiquitous than i would have

expected

yep um well anyway so yeah to this

listener thank you so much for

for chiming in here uh it sounds like

maybe there’s a custody battle you know

who’s a you know who i found out as a

listener

this week uh

i found out that we have like a pretty

high profile listener

is it bono no no it’s not bono

okay would you want bono as a listener

you know he pretends to have

have like eye problems to avoid taxes or

something

yeah oh i thought it was to wear

sunglasses no it’s someone way cooler

than bono it’s david blaine

okay the magician and stalker yeah

oh yeah he multitasks yeah and part of

the pussy posse

oh okay i was watching the david blaine

tv show or whatever his street magic

that he used to do or whatever

from like seven or eight years ago

and then he was talking to a doctor and

then while he was talking to the doctor

he like did some magic tricks and then

after that he did some magic tricks with

troy aikman which is jock sports stuff

yes and so i was like that is such a fun

nod

to our podcast and it’s so cool it

really shows that like our listeners are

really everywhere

yeah yeah okay good yeah i thought you

were gonna make some other point but yes

yes

that’s you know i just i like hearing

back from the listeners and it’s

and then david blaine is our biggest

listener apparently biggest fan it was

in his show

okay yeah we’ve been featured nope all

right

um in any case yeah so so thank you for

listening

now for today’s medical topic squamous

cell carcinoma

squamous cell carcinoma is one of the

lung cancers in the group of

non-small cell lung cancers non-small

cell lung cancer is often insidious so

it produces

no symptoms until the disease is well

advanced

one of the most common signs and

symptoms of lung cancer

or some of them would include cough

chest pain shortness of breath

coughing up blood you can have wheezing

hoarseness are we still

talking about lung cancer yes we’re

still on this subject

yes yeah well it’s doctor every person

who was diagnosed

with lung cancer when you first started

this series

is is unfortunately gone by now i hate

to say that

but it’s been going on for that many

weeks

so it’s it’s only been a couple weeks i

think

like we there are only so many types

i mean look i get it smoking is cool

it’s badass i smoke who doesn’t smoke

every person i know loves to smoke but

yeah you’re gonna get lung cancer and i

wouldn’t call it

you’re gonna go away what you do i

wouldn’t call smoking

well it’s like vaping yeah but out of a

balloon

well yeah like so it’s

to call it smoke like i guess it’s

it’s more of an absorbing i guess yeah

well just i mean is it just helium

that you’re inhaling i don’t know what

it is half the time

okay all right well in

any case so patients can have recurrent

infections such as bronchitis and

pneumonia

as well as constitutional symptoms like

weight loss and a loss of appetite

so you have signs of metastasis and so

that’s when the cancer is spread from

its original location

and that may include bone pain spinal

cord impingement

and neurological problems like headache

weakness or

numbness of limbs dizziness and

seizures to diagnose

you’ll do your usual physical exam and

blood count complete bug count

and then x-rays usually the first test

performed

for squamous cell carcinoma in

particular squamous is one of those

where you think squamous

central smoking you know words like that

so this is a centrally located

cavitation

that could also show pulmonary nodular

mass mediastinal widening

hylar enlargement or pleural effusion a

previous x-ray is also very helpful

to check for the rate of lesion growth

so

whenever you have a patient in which you

suspect this

you should be checking for another x-ray

there are many methods of confirming

diagnosis um

and that depends on you know where the

lesion is and other things so

uh you may include bronchoscopy

sputum cytology thoracoscopy

and transparency needle biopsy

um and of course then you’re just

killing in are you not gonna

oh yes are you not gonna answer that i

tried

i just i was really in the middle of it

and i really i could hear it

okay fine fine i’ll answer you continue

you continue doing

what you’re doing and i’m gonna i’m

gonna answer it okay okay

okay so along with diagnosing staging

must also be done

in order to find out the extent of the

spread of the

squamous cell carcinoma chest ct skin

is the standard for staging lung cancer

and will take into account

i’m sorry okay

okay hey okay

but just

so so the ct scan will take into account

the size are you what was that oh i’m

sorry you keep doing what you’re doing

i’m i’m still on the phone

okay so the main treatment options

for non-small cell lung cancer are

surgery chemotherapy and radiation

because most lung cancers cannot be

cured with current

treatments skilled with palliative

care pickles but i want

i want the pickles from the first one to

be added to the second one

i’m sorry okay did did a restaurant call

you

what’s that did a restaurant call you to

ask if you want to order

food oh yeah yes

is that i hadn’t i hadn’t i hadn’t i

didn’t come by today

and they were getting worried about me

so they called in to check

okay so this is this is normal for you

to get a call from a

because normally people call a

restaurant yeah and you’re actually

keeping me

long right now i have other obligations

you know

which are to eat a meal yeah to run by

the

the restaurant yeah that’s why they’re

worried about okay

so okay continue doing what you’re doing

no i’m i’m just

one more thing to say which is you want

to go ahead and advise all patients to

stop smoking

if they smack one and if you could sort

of make them into a

like a smiley face on the bottom

okay and then what are the what are the

toys you have

okay no

no don’t want that one

i’m sorry what kind of toys are they i

don’t have any older ones from like last

month

or whatever

oh no oh

elsa

okay well okay can you take

that can you take the can you take the

bottom part of that

yeah and then put it on put it on the

head of that

and then if you just and then put the

pickles yep

okay all right thanks love you

sorry about that dr london i’m sorry i

have it’s been a busy day for me

yeah what restaurant gives you toys

with your meals uh well i don’t want to

do any free promo

but let’s just say it’s a place where

these meals might be

happy and they

you go to this place every day to the

point that they will call you if you

haven’t shown up yet

yeah because they’re worried because

they actually care

i didn’t show up on this show which is

half the time

you don’t even call to check on me you

just send me an email about how mad you

are again

because i’m late or i forgot well yeah

because you know we have a scheduled

recording time every time

so yes a few yeah but sometimes i’m busy

because i’m at the place with the meals

that are happy

right okay well anyway i’m finished with

a

medical lesson for now so we can we can

go ahead and move on from there

brand new all right cameron you said

that we have a

a doctor as a guest today is that right

that’s right dr london because you’ve

been so

abusive towards our non-doctor guests i

thought that

this would sort of be a requirement yeah

i guess you know

it’s it’s it’s not i get it you’re just

like any other employer in the country

today

where someone has to have a certain

degree before you’ll even be willing to

speak to them

i understand it it’s just how your

coastal elitist

brain works yes yeah well it’s

it’s a medical education podcast so

that’s

that’s really the reasoning there i want

them to be medical but i’m sorry

we’re talking um hello uh

doctor this is um this is cameron my our

producer

uh my name is drlonensmith.com

and what was your name my name is dr

jade

that is uh spelled j and then the a

with the e next to it really close and

then it just

wraps up with a nice d and then a nice e

that’s very

interesting is that your i mean is that

your given born name uh

no actually it is not i changed it

several years ago

uh to dr jade first name

doctor second name jade

and it’s so nice to be here on the

program yes oh

so okay do you say your your first

so your first name it’s doctor isn’t

a title for you it’s a name

there’s been a lot of controversy

especially in

in my area of study about what

constitutes a doctor

who should give you that title uh do i

see myself as a doctor

absolutely do my patients yes

does the state medical board no in all

50 states

unfortunately no not yet but we are

working on that

but you know what they say is that your

perception

is your reality so if

from your perspective from your vantage

point if you are a doctor and that is

your reality

who am i to to speculate

that that’s not real you know absolutely

and

that’s the kind of viewing of the world

that i

cannot find with medical schools or

hospitals

and it it really makes me upset and

elitist snobs as a doctor i think i’m

entitled to

having a doctor job

yeah well you say as a doctor as

as someone who changed their name to

doctor

so that’s you know a doctor writ it’s

not just

the the title of doctor it’s because

they earned a doctorate

don’t call our guest it that’s weird and

disrespectful dr london

it’s actually dr jade it’s dr jade and

not dr

it okay okay a human being i’m sorry for

that

misunderstanding but in any case um i’m

sorry

i want to i want to dig in a little on

the name though

so dr jade what was your name before is

that something you’d be willing to

share with us uh brett johnson

brad johnson brad johnson yeah brad

johnson was my name

before i thought it didn’t sound like a

doctor’s name i thought dr

jade sounds more like a doctor’s name

brad johnson sale

sounds like uh maybe like a kind of

like beef jerky that’s been discontinued

i don’t that is the furthest thing from

what i want to

say to the public is to eat beef jerky

the opposite of that

in fact i want i want the world to

i want the world to look at the world

with with more

of an accepting worldview

yes and the opposite of an accepting

worldview is eating beef jerky eating

beef treats that’s right that’s yeah

full of carcasses yep

so i so you know that you can

instead of you know changing it like if

you felt like your name didn’t

convey doctor so a lot of doctors

actually all doctors will go to school

to earn

the the title and that’ll be the method

and then no matter what your name is

you’ll have doctor in front of the name

and do you see how that’s i i do see

what you’re getting at a lot of people

have told me

uh similar stories on how the title

doctor is is uh

is obtained i just don’t i don’t feel

like going to medical school

and i think a lot of people would agree

with me there medical school is

it seems long and hard and

what for a degree for someone to tell me

i’m allowed to change my name to doctor

and i’ve heard it’s boring yes it’s

gotta be yeah okay i’ve heard

you and that you can’t you can’t play on

your phone in class they get mad at that

yeah it the class

but so yes it’s it’s long and boring but

that’s part of what makes it

such a you know a highly esteemed title

so you admit it as you admit to it

you’ve been trying to run the scam all

along dr london and you just admitted

that it’s boring

and slow and stinky or whatever you had

said

yeah the the process of earning it

that’s

it’s difficult it’s arduous you know

but at the end you get to help people

those are things that i don’t like to

invite in my life

things that are boring things i can’t be

on my phone during

and things that make me that make me

feel like i’m uh

not up to the task of of completing it

it seemed hard so i said

it’s not for me and that’s my decision

and it’s gross it sounds so gross

the stuff the amount of like icky and

like sticky stuff you have to touch

is disgusting yeah i mean that’s

okay so you said that that’s you aren’t

into that

what are you into what what brings you

here today look

i long time followers of

of the dr jade program have have

followed me through my

career of selling random things

book books things like that i

i have i have stepped into a brand new

type of of of wellness

togetherness i call it wellness together

it’s my new approach to wellness

okay um as most people know me from my

uh you know my success uh becoming a

doctor without the medical school

uh people the first of your kind

yes one of the one of the first of the

kind people knew me from my

do-it-yourself circumcision reversal kit

things like that but i

moving away from the product line and

going more into

have you have you guys heard of these

subscription boxes

ooh i have these it’s the wave of the

future

if you like nature if you like natural

foods you can get nature box

delivered to your door in a box a bunch

of natural food for you to cook

you know there’s the uh the taxidermy

chest where they

send you animals where you can perform

taxidermy well

this is a box that gets delivered to

your house

and it’s called shine cube because it

comes in a

in a nice cube and in it is everything

you need to know

or every in every tool that you need to

have in order to follow my brand new

wellness regimen whoa okay

so this is you’re here to promote a

wellness regiment then

a wellness regimen where you can sign up

for a box to be delivered to your home

every week so you can do the shine

cleanse

now so uh most of the time with these

promotional boxes the items change from

week to week or month to month you’re

not getting the same thing over and over

again

but it sounds boring to me oh okay so

you’re sort of this is you’re sort of

looking at this with a new paradigm

it’s kind of sort of a innovative

yeah you you’re speaking my language uh

wow

definitely speaking my language producer

cameron and i appreciate you have you

considered becoming a doctor

can you do that

is this like is this like getting

ordained where it’s like someone who’s

ordained can ordain someone else or

something like that

it’s almost exactly like that and as a

doctor let me tell you it is almost

exactly like being organized

wow so do i have to kneel or say this

like is this like a knighting thing

yes you could you could kneel i think

that that feels right to me

in my brain okay my heart so okay just

dr london don’t take this away from me

let me do this real quick

okay all right so i’m kneeling i’m i’m

kneeling i’m kneeling down

well you don’t have to get on your face

what okay so so what now now what

let me find the uh let me find the

script here

by the power invested in me by uh

whoever wants to become a doctor

i now pronounce you a man

who’s a doctor yes yes

so and so now anything that i say is as

smart as what

dummy dr london says right yes exactly

yes

yes i knew you seemed you seemed

surprised by the prospect of making

someone else a doctor

but you also had a script ready

have is this the first time you’ve been

asked to

to make someone a doctor no no i’ve uh

i’ve been known in my community as a

you know as a man who spreads the joy

spreads the love of being a doctor

spreads around you know

making more evangelizing the doctor yes

doc this thank you dr bestiation

because unlike you dr london he’s not a

gatekeeper who tries to keep people out

of the profession who says oh you can’t

do that because you haven’t taken these

classes and you don’t know what that

body part is

yeah what dr jade does here is that he’s

accepting of everyone and says hey you

can be a doctor

and you can be a doctor and hey you hey

you’re just a little you’re a dog

you’re just a pet dog you can be a

doctor many dogs have become doctors

under my supervision yes

well and just just to clarify once more

i think a lot of people could be doctors

if they

you know work hard and apply themselves

no we just we we already said that that

was gross and a waste of time

and annoying and boring and while

technically true it’s not the only way

to achieve

a goal have you ever heard that saying

there are multiple roads to the same

area

yeah have you heard that dr london have

you heard that have you heard that

because it’s a it’s a quote i wrote

several years ago and if you heard it

i was gonna say i it sounds similar to

some quotes i’ve heard

but sort of phrased more simply

it sounds more like some something

someone might say when looking at a map

than it is sort of a saying that in a

metaphorical sense but

yeah it’s kind of an analogy and a

metaphor all in one

and uh and yeah

i okay because i i personally believe

that

everybody within their hearts and every

person is so beautiful

that they they have what it takes to

produce

a doctor-esque thought okay and when you

say a doctor-esque thought

yes so once again whenever i articulate

medical knowledge that’s because of the

time i’ve spent studying it

when you say a doctor thought

do you just mean

because i think of a depth of knowledge

whenever i think of a doctor of thought

what do you mean i agree with you it’s a

depth of thought um

and uh some people think so deeply that

they have the

depth of thought not i kind of combine

those into

a similar part of the body using your

head to get out of tricky situations

what what what does a doctor do he goes

there’s a sick guy

let me think of a way to treat him right

what else what else does a smart guy do

goes what’s the best way to

what’s the what’s the easiest way i can

get to being a doctor i

i i i

i it’s sort it’s to me it sort of sounds

like that

thinking is basically the exact same as

learning

i would have i would have to agree

because what is thinking and what is

this is all a bunch of boring doctor

school talk you know

and i i just want to give people the

opportunity

to get their ideas out there on a

medical platform

that didn’t have to go through the

boring so a lot of people like me

don’t thrive in a school environment

they’d thrive in a

you know wandering around someone’s

garden pretending it’s foraging kind of

environment

yeah and that’s where a lot of these

doctor thoughts that we were talking

about before thoughts were of course

talking about sort of like instagram

girls thoughts

and these doctor thoughts that dr jade

has so

kindly taken under his wing and they’re

learning

from a sort of a different perspective

outside of the normal

you know school curriculum by foraging

in the garden

things like that when you say thoughts

cameron

do you mean the instagram thoughts are

you talking about the

the shortened t-h-o-t the yes

this is what dr jaden told me before we

had started recording

i would i want to paint you a picture i

want to i want to paint you a picture

you doctor to doctor to doctor now that

there’s three doctors here

when you become a doctor you can only

save

i don’t know 100 people a day i’ve

broken that record myself

but imagine if you were to

like like i do evangelize my

doctoralness

make other people doctors the more

people they save the more people

i save it kind of becomes sort of a

triangular upward mobility of

of doc of doctordom and

and doctoresque thoughts yeah sort of

like

the people you save then go and save

other people and you get a percentage

of that saving yeah it’s that i call it

the triangular map

yeah okay i guess and it sounds a little

bit

almost like you’re describing a pyramid

scheme but let’s go to your subscription

box

now that our listeners know a little bit

about

i want to hear about what’s in the box

and yeah what your your program is

okay the program is a revolutionary

approach to wellness where

one uh where one gazes

upon the source of all life

okay uh you might be thinking what is

this guy talking about

what is the source of all life is it

water no it’s the sun

right we i have developed a

a foolproof method to wellness

that involves staring directly into the

sun for up

for as little as 45 seconds a day some

of my

students have made it up to you know an

hour and a half a day of direct wow

staring into the sun uh

it does seem unhealthy but at the same

time

mr doctor uh penicillin

was actually mushrooms okay

i think you’re more mr doctor whereas i

would be dr

london you see the difference there

no if you were to leave off my first

name and just use my surname it would be

just dr

jade uh but yes we and we

this subscription box supplies you with

everything you need to do that

which means every week you’ll be getting

you know

a a custom paper towel to wipe your brow

to wipe your brow is that is that part

of staring at the sun

no that’s just what the sweat produced

is that is that was that the end of the

box

yeah staring at the sun that’s the end

of the box okay

so okay so the so can i ask how much

this costs

a 79.99 usd per month

and that increases the longer uh that

you

are a part of this a part of this

mailing

list and uh we’ve we

we were almost sold out so if you want

to get in on the ground level

you’re going to want to go to www dot

shine box dot cc

slash shine box underscore five one six

okay that sounds well hold on dr london

i don’t i don’t think you’re taking in

how

amazing a deal this is because you’re

paying a monthly you’re paying once a

month but you’re getting boxes weekly

so each 79.99 payment increasing of

course

of course is basically four boxes

that’s four times better than like loot

crate and like nerd box

and pierogi box which is a box service i

subscribed to

so well there’s one bit of clarification

so i thought what you were gonna say was

that

like you at least had one of those sort

of eclipse style

glasses like whenever there was that

eclipse where you had

you know glasses where you could safely

look at the sun

but you i didn’t hear any mention of

sunglasses so you’re just having people

stare directly

at the sun i am the the problem with

those sunglasses is that they do

a great job of filtering out some of the

uh

uv lights which are ultra virtual

incredibly light yeah harmful and

staring directly

at that light would cause damage well

but the sunglasses are going to block

the healthy benefits

of staring at the sun dr london the

vitamin d

the vitamin e i’m sure there’s more

vitamins i just i get bored when i count

all the vitamins i get from it god yeah

there’s so many

it’s just a lot you know plants love it

i mean it’s it’s the reason we’re all

here

why not soak up as much as you possibly

can

so well so and also why do we have to

wear

sunglasses when the sun wears sunglasses

i’ve seen lots of pictures and

depictions of the sun

wearing sunglasses and i don’t

understand if he’s wearing sunglasses

and why do i have to wear sunglasses it

sounds

almost like a marketing ploy like if

someone’s being paid by

by oakleys yeah and i i

that disgusts me you know to take

something like the sun and try to profit

off of it disgusting it’s yeah it’s

gross to me and that’s why i’ve been

uh so so excited to talk about this

this shine box sorry another question

you do you think it’s disgusting well

you think it’s disgusting for someone to

try to profit off the sun

isn’t your entire program specifically

that no no that’s where you are confused

i’m profiting off of the idea

of telling people to stare into the sun

the sun has the thought

basically nothing to do with this yes

the doctor-esque

ph deified thought

that i had as a doctor that’s what

it is it will give you

more than what i am taking from you

which is a a measly small amount of

money per month

for a weekly box that increases over

time

that increases at an exponential and

much quicker

pace yeah i was going to ask how much it

increases by

cameron you say that as if you already

know have you

oh i’ve already you haven’t subscribed

this is a subscriber that’s how i got on

the show yes

i’m one of the first subscribers dr

london

oh you’re you’re one of the first and

you’re on the ground floor still

before they sold out oh yeah

god he told when he first told me about

this

on our minecraft server yes and he was

telling me about this

i knew it was something special i

remember that day vividly

uh you’re my fifth meeting that day in

the

minecraft server and

you were really the first person to

really to really

really understand what i was saying and

i that’s why

you were the first person to really

understand what i was saying

and you’ll find that a lot in a lot of

these minecraft servers just people who

just

vibe together and and that’s why i

couldn’t i couldn’t stand to see you

walk out of that server

without a subscription to my sean box

service

and i’m so glad that i did my brow

would have gotten so sweaty if not

for these sweat prevention pads that i

get every single week

okay and i can’t thank you enough doctor

you’re very welcome

and i’m glad i’m so thankful that you’ve

done everything that you could do

to uh you know spread the message you

know get me on this show

and of course all the people that you’ve

you’ve sold to

i cannot thank you enough i want to hear

i want to hear success stories are

people who’ve used this product have you

heard

and what their vision is like right now

yeah vision 2020 everyone’s talking

about like looking ahead to the future

to the 2020s we’re in a new decade i

want to hear your vision

for for your your company and can they

physically

see uh i do want to address

both these questions but first i want to

address the the forward thinking uh

the forward thinking i’m i’m thinking

what if there you know what if there

were more ways to look at the sun maybe

a kaleidoscope we could look at the sun

through in order to see more versions

and angles of the sun

we’ve got a lot of research on

development and and moving forward

especially

especially amongst amidst these these

troubling times uh this will become

almost crucial i’m hoping to

have this be added to you know the list

of vaccinations that

uh you know that the government uh

requires us to

to receive uh especially when traveling

abroad and i would hope to maybe get

this uh to be

you know something that they involve in

schools like they did

with with the lice outbreaks of the

1990s

and so i i do my future

yes sorry i do have a question about

this sorry to interrupt but

the what the you want a required vaccine

to be

looking at the sun through a

kaleidoscope no i will i want

as well oh right no i want

th this was just another thing that i’m

seeing

for our company moving forward okay

a couple of things about my vision of

the future of the company

for one thing just to clarify staring at

the vex

at the sun is not a vaccine nope that

that doesn’t meet the definition okay it

doesn’t

we’re getting into definitions again and

it’s it’s quite so sorry he’s so

pedantic

it’s it’s of really annoying and

he gets all especially we’re three

doctors here

we’re peers we should all be able to

talk to each other

on on a normal level without having to

get into this sort of like

uh uh you know

gobbledygook made up language blah blah

blah who cares

you know well it’s it’s just jargon

i’m sorry that we don’t want this show

to be a jargon festival

let’s just we’re talking about doing

something really important here dr

london which is

getting people to stare into the sun at

least 45 seconds a day

which is quicker than getting a cup of

coffee at starbucks

it’s quicker than doing um you know a

couple push-ups not one push-up you

could do that in 45 seconds you probably

do quite a few actually

but you know it’s quicker than that

you have really really you have really

read that literature and i appreciate

that

yeah so it’s all i read man it’s so good

i cannot put it down

the kathy cartoons you’ve put on every

page

make everything so clear to me

and it cost me a pretty penny to to

commission that artwork from the

original kathy

artist whose name escapes me right now

for some reason

but but boy did that did that really

sell the product

for a lot of for a lot of folks well to

cameron yeah

um speaking hypothetically of your

dream for 2020 the future

let’s say someone going to school

school-aged children because you were

saying you want this be required vaccine

so at let’s say uh

around one year of age uh people will

typically get the

measles mumps rubella vaccine that’s a

very important one so you’re saying that

at one of these age groups the one year

old and then like two or three like

one of these times whenever they get all

these vaccinations you think

they should be i guess escorted into

this

to outside made to stare at the sun

are you are you hearing yourself right

now do you

know what’s insane that says no i want

doctor

one of these age groups uh one three

maybe even two i haven’t ruled out two

yet

i want that to be the age where they

begin their shine box

subscription okay so you just want them

to to

pay but that that would still involve

staring at the sun so it’s not

at the doctor’s office event this is

that no not at the

no this is just a plan that you get on

to ensure that you’re

you’re taken care of you know that you

are you know

that you are you are utilizing

everything

available to you in the world to prevent

getting

sick and telemedicine is so huge these

days right you can just talk to a doctor

on your phone you don’t even have to be

there anymore

so even if i you that you want the

doctor there to help you

watch the sun you can just use your

phone you can just facetime them and you

can just be like

maybe you can point the doctor doctor

can say that he’s like oh look at this

part you know it’s your phone

it really i think it i think it would

benefit

uh a wide variety of people a

large swath of the american public and i

think it should be implemented

as soon as possible okay and sorry

and if you don’t do it you can’t go to

school or change your name to whatever

you want your job

to go back because i feel like we may

have skipped over this

the testimonials have people lost vision

from starting your subscription from

subscribing from staring at the sun

i don’t recall

getting any emails from

people who have bought the shinecube

subscription service saying it sounds

like explicitly i can’t

very carefully

i’m sorry you’re breaking uh i’m

carefully yes i am

i do speak very thoroughly as a doctor

i ha i do not recall uh being made aware

of

any damage to vision

uh i know that when i tried it um with

the glasses on

i didn’t really see like taking i didn’t

really feel like taking the glasses off

would harm me so i

i figured it’s good it’s good to send

out there it’s good it’s good to kick

this business off

and but as far as the patients no i

haven’t heard

anything from them and you don’t think

it

could be because they’re blinded so they

they can’t feel like they become

disabled visually i don’t

i don’t i’m not an optomologist

so i can’t make that

that distinction of whether or not

somebody is blind

okay that would be stepping on people

who went to

a lot of years of school to to learn

about the eyes

and i can’t tell if i’m looking at the

right person because both of y’all are

just sort of white

blobs but i can say that after doing

this program for a few months i might i

feel like my eyes have been healthier

than ever

that uh that’s a good testimony right

there that’s what i use for the answer

to the last question

of the testimony yeah thank you blob

thank you blob

okay and i feel like that might

if you want that to be the answer to the

question i would say possibly cameron

has

you know he might be experiencing some

visual impairment

from the subscription i

i see where you’re coming from but i

would say that he doesn’t

and we are both entitled to our doctoral

opinions

right i i would say

let’s say okay i’m a big blob to him

what does he now not get to do judge me

based on my appearance

yup think about that absolutely

okay so you see this as an advantage for

the sake

of judgment judging other people

i’m just saying it’s one of them well

when i just how can you prove

everything that you do dr london like

every time you work on a patient

can you can you just prove on a podcast

that your science and medicine works

nope you’re asking for something

impossible here i know my eyes are

healthier

because they’re stronger they feel

stronger they flex

constantly they’re constantly pulsing

you don’t think the pulsing could be

just the uh the strain of the blood

vessels

i this is all i guess part that comes

from

the understanding of having my eyes feel

meatier than ever

and i’m i love it and i want to thank dr

jade again

thank you for what you’ve done and

seriously man this is i mean this has

changed my life no no are you tearing up

because of emotions or because

of the pain and just hurts

so much god god it hurts so much and it

won’t stop

that means that it is activating

this is discomfort is normal i

imagine no pain go no gain right doctor

you told me that pain is just weakness

leaving the body and that’s another

quote that i wrote

yes and oh that’s a

that’s a quote that you wrote do you

always credit yourself

i do yes because there’s a lot of people

out there

trying to take not only my sayings but

also my idea for a subscription box

service for

an approach to wellness and i just want

to make sure that everyone knows

that was all me baby top of the triangle

right well i is there anything

else that we’re that you’re looking to

cover with it i’m not sure that i can

endorse this product because it sounds

like it is

an expensive paper towel essentially

plus literature that tells you to stare

at the sun

and dr j just just know that just by him

saying the word endorse we can edit

around that and he can

easily endorse you so yeah we’ll we’ll

figure that out later

that’s awesome and you know uh uh dr

dr london you will be happy to know that

i am not looking for your endorsement

i am only looking for your subscription

deal okay well that’s i don’t know who’s

the bigger man dr london

i also don’t so i don’t want to go blind

so i i don’t think that audrey will be a

subscriber because

and i already have paper towels so i

don’t

i don’t see the gain

on for me personally it’s these doctors

these american doctors

obsessed with western medicine

and that’s all you think counts as real

medicine and that’s all you think is

counts as real science because you read

it in a book that you paid thousands of

dollars for

instead of a yahoo answers questionnaire

and it disgusts me yeah so

i’m sorry i’m also disgusted just want

to jump in and say i’m also disgusted

okay well you take an oath in this

business

okay well uh thank you for coming on the

show

you’re i think to close us out i want to

hear that oath

the doctor’s oath that we all take all

right

the hippocratic because i need i’ll i’ll

need to take it as well

to really kind of make this thing

official

yep the doc the doctor’s oath here it

goes

the infamous doctor’s oath

okay yeah this one rhymes doesn’t it

yeah and it goes to the tune of fancy by

iggy azalea

if we’re talking about the if we’re

talking about the uh

the fourth version the fourth revised

version

yes yes and it goes like this

i’m a doctor you already know

i’m in a lab coat from

la to tokyo

wow okay so that doesn’t sound so much

like an oath as it does

just replacing a few words from

uh from the song fantasy

yeah but maybe you could take that up

with your medical school

yeah yeah maybe um

i think we’ll just stick with the oaths

that we have so we have you know the

hippocratic oath

not to be confused with the hypocrite

oath anyway is there any

uh way that listeners can hear more of

you

outside of this or uh you know if they

want to hear more about this

uh are you on social media anything like

that i’m i’m only on myspace

uh you can follow my myspace um

myspace.com

slash dr jade and

doctor is in quotation marks can’t get

that fixed

uh but yeah you can that’s where you can

subscribe to my newsletter that’s where

you can uh

hear my podcast called sungazing

and me uh an oral hiss an oral

documentation of

my patients testing this out for me

it’s a long title i want to thank you

guys what’s your my

what’s that what’s your myspace song

well it’s uh me singing over fancy by

iggy azalea

uh but instead of the lyrics it’s the

doctor’s oath

because i’ve known it for a long time

yeah and you’re committed to your cause

yes i am i love that

i appreciate that this really made me

feel good it really made me feel like i

connected with two other doctors in my

field

and i really got to spread the message

of

of this wellness plan that i truly truly

believe in

i feel good about it too and especially

you know as a doctor somebody’s worked

in this field for a long time

it’s just really nice to talk to someone

who’s on the same level

and who’s maybe gonna offer me a deal on

the subscription because you know i am

you know my bills are getting you know

it’s getting really expensive and so

maybe if you could cut me some slack

that would be

like if you can’t that’s fine you know

what i mean i really can’t the irs is

yeah

totally i totally i shouldn’t have asked

yeah no oh that was yeah that was

sorry yeah anyway all right so uh anyway

thank you to

dr jade for for being on the show for

introducing us to

thank you the dr jay’s you know regiment

for

but staring at the sun uh thank you to

our producer cameron thank you to

DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

and it goes like this i’m a doctor

you already know i’m in a lab coat

from l.a

[Music]

and it goes like this i’m a doctor

you already know

[Music]

i can endorse the instagram thoughts

t-h-o-t

that potty over there

[Music]

my name is dr londonsmith.com

and this has been the jock doc podcast

see ya

i can endorse the instagram thought

[Music]

you wince at the sound of your shirt

tearing

this is not going well but you realize

that no one else is going to come

looking for you

so you press on at this point you

are crawling squirming forward a little

when the overgrowth becomes too

oppressive

you continue on a little further and

suddenly

feel the fresh air upon your cheek you

are finally free is there anything i can

help you with

asks a kind face in a green vest

you look up at the overhanging sign with

the words

home and garden print upon it

and you grin as you reply not anymore

i think i just found everything i need

speaking of whimsical adventures don’t

forget to leave a five star review of

the jock talk podcast

in which you share of your experiences

crawling through

plant-rich areas of local stores and

while you’re at it

go ahead and share the jock doc podcast

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we are

@jockdocpodcast thanks for listening!

Hey hey kids you’re about to

listen to a comedy podcast that means

that none of this medical advice hey if

you need medical advice or medical care

please please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London Smith you already

know what it is the government doesn’t

want you listening to jock doc but

you’re no sheep nope

introducing your host dr. London and

welcome to the jock doc podcast where we

discuss fitness and health yes how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring I’m

your host dr. London smith.com I’d like

to begin by apologizing to our listeners

you’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that I’ve been using such as

transient visual obscurations and here

chicka chicka chicka back burn so I will

try to temper my terminology to a

simpler one in the future here to help

with that is our producer Cameron good

morning dr. London good morning well is

it morning for you right now well what

do you mean I mean it either is morning

or it’s not morning yeah I just yes for

me like my understanding is that we’re

recording a little bit later in the day

did you just wake up that’s I guess

that’s what I’m asking no I just wake up

it I’m pretty sure it’s morning dr.

London I don’t what would eat we would

it what are you

what evidence leads you to believe that

we’re recording later in the evening

I guess just because we I know we can

only go off with the evidence that we

have so I’m not trying to judge and say

that you know your truth is invalid just

because it’s not my truth but I you know

what what leads you to believe that

that’s the time

okay so it’d be that just the way the

clock works so the slock so your phone

is that way you’re you’re saying your

phone your computer

that’s what we’re this is being based

off of is yes technology which is of

course fallible that’s that’s what we’re

basing this off of well it’s that as

well as the the window I can see out of

but admittedly looking outside the

window doesn’t necessarily tell me from

this angle what time I feel like we are

getting caught up in a little well maybe

no I’m just saying like why are we

trusting so much in technology when we

can trust nature I can look outside

right now and I can see that it’s kind

of light but not as light as it should

be in the middle of the afternoon so

what does that tell me that it’s either

dawn or dusk I know it can’t be dusk

because of my knees what do you mean by

that

you know how people’s knees and stuff

sometimes act up if like weather’s

coming through yes you know humidity or

blah blah blah or something well in the

same way my knee starts growing when

it’s morning it’s my it’s my wake-up

call it’s my register and so my knee has

hurting so bad right now so I use these

two clues from nature and from there I’m

able to use that evidence and come to a

natural conclusion without having to

rely on computers and robots and bleep

blorp

bleep blorp zero one one zero zero zero

one okay so I guess one one little issue

there is that you know joints if they

ate at a certain time of day that can

actually be indicative of a pathology a

disease an illness so like rheumatoid

arthritis for instance if you wake up a

you know in the morning and you feel

this joint pain and maybe some swelling

for for an extended period of time

that could indicate that you have some

sort of some form of arthritis

okay and that’s fine but how does that

change the fact that it happens in the

morning so I can thusly set my watch to

it okay okay so you’re you’re just

acknowledging that I have a disease we

know I have a ton of diseases dr. London

I would say that’s the primary subject

of this podcast the various illnesses

that I have I am fully aware that what

this body is a diseased vessel it’s more

of a rocket ship for germs to be passed

yes and it is a human body we know that

okay but you’re questioning the reliance

of its timekeeping abilities which I

take offense to take offense of take

offense okay well okay I guess you know

not really relevant I guess because

especially whenever people are you know

staying in their homes for the most part

anyway a lot of people lose track of the

time of day it doesn’t really matter all

that to say good morning dr. London so

the sub producer Cameron and Cameron is

so dedicated to making sure that our

podcast stays relevant that when he

heard it was international kissing day

today he became very excited because he

had also recently heard of the term

sunkissed skin so Cameron I understand

that you’ve been trying to get a kiss

from the Sun yeah and it’s kind of

frustrating cuz I think especially right

now with the climate that we’re in

obviously I don’t want to overstep any

boundaries that’s not relevant even to

the climate that we’re in but you know

the climate we’re in makes it more

conscious on my mind and so I sort of

keep asking permission you know hey son

can you give me a little kiss and

unfortunately I have not received a

response which is very typical in this

kind of situation for me for you

whenever you ask any person or object

when I ask the son when I ask a lamp

when I ask like my mom’s friend when I

ask my boss like when I ask oh so no the

humans aren’t responding either yeah

just I’m usually I get nothing well I

would say you know you do that is a good

important thing to do Cameron focus on

you know you want to get consent before

anything like that

absolutely

yeah because you otherwise it is a form

of sexual assault so with the Sun I

don’t know that the physics of it will

allow you to actually follow through

with with either way it just makes me

want it more dr. London okay

well also with us is DJ DYLAN IN

DA HOUSE

[Music]

and judge and say that you know your

truth is invalid just because it’s not

my truth I think especially right now

with the climate that we’re in obviously

I don’t want to overstep any boundaries

that’s not relevant even to the climate

that we’re in but you know the climate

we’re in and makes it more conscious

[Music]

Jasha tended to your trees is invalid if

my tree and later Cameron tells me that

we can expect a special guest an actual

doctor that’s right dr. London

he’s probably yours or something right

don’t all y’all know each other well not

necessarily I mean assuming that he’s a

medical doctor then there’s there’s a

chance that I’ve you know met him or

seen him sure but like I mean you you

know everyone who’s a doctor right yeah

I wanted to meet someone or get a hold

of someone who was a doctor I could go

through you right I mean that right well

no no I guess the point I was making

there is that you don’t see you okay

okay so if our entire hypothetically if

our entire friendship and this podcast

was based around the fact that I’m

trying to meet dr. Dre you’re telling me

that you are unable to do that okay well

to my knowledge the answer I guess in

short would be no because I’m I don’t

personally know dr. Dre in part because

I knowledge he is not a medical facility

take that back take that back

tonight my limited knowledge let me take

that back yes

but I guess I’ll just over the draw all

statements on the matter okay wish she

would just withdrawal statements in

general yes

yeah well it’s it’s kind of difficult

whenever I’m you know the host of a of a

podcast but we can we can go on can

change that anytime the host of this

podcast is a fluid thing nothing set in

stone just something to keep in your

mind dr. London okay well before we move

on I would like to address a bit of

listener feedback I found this note

attached to a dart that I found in my

neck after I woke up while you know I

had taken a walk through the woods while

trying to go camping

anyway you weren’t sure the note thing

you were burying something that that’s

neither here nor there and like really

we’re supposed to focus on this note not

not what I did you spend the night did

you spend the night in the woods like

the whole night you did you sleep on the

ground yes sir now I or did you go out

to the woods bury something really late

at night and then come back and are

trying to tell people you went camping

oh I would camping well well the problem

is as I said so it dart went into my

neck so I don’t I didn’t keep track of

time while that happened I don’t know

when I how long I was out when I woke up

any of that so but I assume it was

listener feedback because there was a

note attached to that Dart

and it said quote congratulations

Kathleen I hope you are doing well my

grandson has graduated and we are very

proud of him how are your kids

my husband has hemorrhoids it is not fun

hope you are well god bless you and your

family love faith end quote

so first of all I would like to thank

these listeners so much for their

insightful question or I guess one

listener to answer your question I I

actually do not have children nope and I

agree that hemorrhoids are not fun nope

as a small side note and contra maybe

you can speak to this but I actually do

not typically go by the name kathleen

nope i tend to prefer dr. lennon

smith.com but buddy how is this relevant

to me what why’d you mention my name

because sometimes you give me nicknames

and maybe this is one of the nicknames

you’ve told people mmm I don’t know this

person okay I I’m just I was just

checking so I tend to prefer dr. William

Smith calm but if Kathleen is easier for

our listeners to say or if it’s more

comfortable that’s also fine with me

such as listener thank you for listening

I mean we you know full well that most

of our listeners can’t talk at all

either due to their age or due to an

accident I guess I wasn’t aware of that

is this more of because you haven’t

really been bringing up the listener

statistics lately yeah and I assume news

because like you know there’s nothing

remarkable about them I mean there’s not

anything remarkable about them because I

can’t even talk but yeah I mean you know

a new demographic that we’ve definitely

been appealing to a lot lately are

people who have burned themselves with

acid okay and you see that as I guess it

doesn’t matter how you see it because

that’s the demographic yeah I don’t know

why I don’t think that we’ve been doing

a lot of acid specific stuff or people

with you know kind of burned off mouth

specific stuff I you know we haven’t

really been doing that kind of stuff but

yeah I you know I can’t argue the

numbers yeah okay well I mean good to

know and to those listeners thank you

for listening and I guess we’ll try to

we’ll try to make some of the content a

little bit more mal I guess

disability-friendly actually

feedback right here it also I completely

forgot about this can I can I read this

real quick sure yeah great to hear from

[Music]

and what was that written now yep okay

well thank you to her to that listener

I’m not I’m not exactly sure how to

answer that if that was a question I

didn’t hear like a the questioning and

it wasn’t an accusation okay well once

again I guess I apologize if I’ve been

disrespectful in any way to to people

with disabilities or you know those who

are marginalized in some way mouth lists

right mm-hmm so I I apologize if I’ve

been insensitive to these groups and I

will try to do better in the future and

yeah I’m not sure what what more I could

say there well at least you can say

something some people aren’t so lucky

yeah now for today’s medical topic small

cell carcinoma small cell carcinoma is a

neuroendocrine carcinoma that exhibits

aggressive behavior rapid growth early

spread to distant sites exquisite

sensitivity to chemotherapy and

radiation and frequent association with

distinct paraneoplastic syndromes

including hypercalcemia eaten Lambert

syndrome syndrome of inappropriate

antidiuretic hormone secretion also

known as SIADH and many others so small

cell carcinoma that makes up 25% of lung

cancers and ninety-eight percent of

patients with small cell lung carcinoma

have a smoking history so one reason why

smoking cessation is so important is

because there are still really no

effective screening tools to catch the

lung cancer early on

so by the time signs and symptoms appear

the disease is usually widespread and

sorry Cameron I feel like I have been

excluding you a little bit too much

maybe alienating you with these medical

lessons so you know if you have any

questions while we will I talked about

this I mean we’re just talking about the

same old dr. London I mean you’re

talking about the smoking sensation

again your talk you said Neil in there I

don’t know any Neil so I have nothing to

talk about there and then you’re talking

about all this small stuff and I’m I

don’t know I just think bigger than all

this stuff you keep talking about like

small stuff in cells and germs and all

this stuff and I’m sorry but I don’t

think on a small scale I I think big I’m

a big things yes

Mount Lee will get too large sell cars

blue right now Wales right now we’re on

small roller coaster it’s right the

biggest rubber band ball in the world

doctor London these are the things that

consumed my thoughts okay well and I

don’t I know that will be so relevant to

this particular you know medical lesson

but so patient was clinically would this

letter that I have from someone who has

lung cancer would that be more relevant

this listener of ours who would sent

this in

oh sure sure we don’t want to we want to

hear from my listeners so this is a

disciplinary of ours who unfortunately

has lung cancer which is relevant to

what you’re talking about right

and he said

[Music]

okay well thank you to to that listener

for for chiming in with that with that

bit of feedback we we always appreciate

hearing from our listeners so you know

don’t be afraid to keep sending these in

I it is difficult to tell like just from

my perspective what exactly is you’re

trying to convey but any case I’ll go

back to the medical lesson for the

moment yeah I think that’ll be fine yeah

so clinically patients may present with

local airway and involvement leading to

cough hemoptysis which is coughing up

blood obstruction and that’s where the

you know the tumor will literally block

off part of the the airway they can have

wheezing and dyspnea or you know

shortness of breath difficulty breathing

patients may also have what I referred

to as constitutional symptoms such as

anorexia the a constitutional symptoms

yeah trust me okay drink too much milk

or something I don’t I don’t know what

was going on but nothing was happening

for a while

I’ll say that so you say you had some

anorexia from that or weight loss no

constitutional problems I’m saying like

I ate I don’t know if it was the bill oh

I don’t know if it’s the amount of

cheese I had I don’t know what it was

but I have institutional problems for

like four days it was by a constipated

that’s what you mean I you know we don’t

have to get dirty okay well anyway so

patients made these constitutional

symptoms but once again these symptoms

don’t typically appear until the patient

is in advanced disease so so now we’ll

cover and I just want to say look I’m

not a doctor and I’m not gonna sit here

and claim that I’m a doctor or that I

know better than anyone else but

anorexia is not one of the causes of

constipation that’s actually the

opposite I understand that that person

is not

going number two and so it can be easy

for them to think that they are

constipated but that is because they’re

not putting food in their mouth dr.

London that’s why they’re not able to do

that yes I just want to just for the

record I think it’s important that we’re

accurate on the show yeah so anorexia

what I’m referring to it’s just the not

eating whereas I think what you might be

referring to is the psychological

illness of psychiatric illness anorexia

nervosa maybe which is you know not

eating to the point that you have

decreased BMI and everything anyway um

so it sounds like you listen to two key

words that I was saying but not at all

of what I was saying at all okay well so

so right now we’re gonna go ahead and

cover some of the paraneoplastic

syndromes associated with small cell

carcinoma I’m trying to explain for our

listeners that the reason they’re not

pooping if they’re interested is because

they’re not eating right and it’s sure

not because they’re constipated so we’ll

discuss these a little bit more in depth

whenever we discuss endocrinology but

for now we’re gonna cover a couple

common ones that are associated with

small cell lung carcinoma one common

syndrome is syndrome of inappropriate

secretion of antidiuretic hormone or si

ATH in which the hormone that normally

tells your kidneys to stop making urine

is secreted in excess so you end up

retaining fluid rather than peeing it

out and this results in dilution and

disruption of the the patient’s

electrolyte imbalances another most

common associated pair note

paraneoplastic syndrome is a syndrome of

ectopic adrenocorticotropic hormone or

acth production so in this condition

ACTH stimulates the cortisol release

from the adrenal glands without the

normal negative feedback loop and

this results and changes an appearance

like central obesity extra fat behind

the neck known as Buffalo Hump purple

striae on the abdomen they can have acne

easy bruising high blood pressure muscle

wasting weakness and a range of other

effects basically associated with you

know corticosteroid use so these are

just a few of the potential associated

paraneoplastic syndromes associated with

small cell lung carcinoma but as far as

treatment goes in limited stage small

cell lung carcinoma the cancer is

potentially curable using chemotherapy

and radiation along with surgical

resection reserved for certain patients

extensive stage cancer is not considered

to be curable and in these patients

systemic chemotherapy is used to improve

the quality of life and prolong survival

but also smoking cessation that’s

actually the biggest point emphasized

here just stop smoking and then yeah

that’ll that’s tied to you know

improvement or decreased chance of

getting the cancer in the first place

well what’s interesting here I don’t

have to I have the tab muted in my

Chrome browser right now but you know

I’m watching this actress breaking

character four straight for ten minutes

video and it seems like Jeri and George

on Seinfeld one time they broke

character they were wearing mustaches I

don’t know I don’t remember this episode

but if they seem to be laughing quite a

bit about it okay so yeah I’m not I’m

not sure that’s incredibly relevant but

yeah interesting interesting to note

there well it’s more relevant to me than

the crap you’re pushing out there doctor

London do that was that some sort of

constipation joke no but it could be

detailing could you edit that into a

funny joke

yes well it’s more relevant than even

the crap you’re pushing out there dr.

London

[Music]

[Applause]

thanks TV alright well yeah we can move

on from there

all right Cameron you said that we have

a guest today a doctor that is right dr.

lund and I know you are always talking

about why on our guest doctors why is it

just these people who keep harassing me

and keep slashing my tires so I tried to

find someone that I thought you would

approve of who wouldn’t slash my tires

that is to be determined okay okay

hello there my name is dr. London

smith.com

and this is our producer Cameron what’s

your name my name is dr. Evans okay nice

to meet you hi dr. Evans hello hi so uh

so what brings you on the show today I

know so we’re a medical education

podcast so my area expertise let me give

you a little bit of synapses on where

I’m coming from I’m a newly licensed

planetary care physician with the

planetary Institute of the universe Wow

Oh a planet planetary care okay so yeah

yeah it’s a it’s a latest institute of

cosmology were basically in charge of

gauging the health of planets within the

Milky Way galaxy and my latest

assignment which this will catch your

interest I just finished giving Earth

its first physical its first physical

examination we’ve really not given it

its due diligence up until just this

latest millennium so this is this is not

unlike like the Presidential Fitness

Test this is not on life or yeah well or

do yeah a normal physical exam you’ll I

mean you’ll you’ll take vitals of course

I’m thinking of a physical test but this

is this is talking about like taking

someone’s blood this is comprehensive

yeah yeah yeah yeah physically touching

and they’re acting with a patient so so

wait what does that entail for you so

you’re doing this for the earth over yes

like the planet it takes about decades

to complete yeah I just finished it I

began it in the year 2000 so the last

20 years if you can gauge your memory

has been what I’ve been gauging the

planetary fitness level to be and it’s

not looking terribly bright to be honest

with you okay let me get in this mindset

real quick it’s the year 2000 year 2000

I just got I just left the movie theater

from watching maybe like there’s

something about Mary ah yes I remember

that and I was listening to 6 feet from

the edge by Creed is that the name of

that song yeah is this is this also this

is a ringing a bell yeah I had two gates

the cultural phenomenon of the time and

I remember all of this yeah okay okay I

mean I’m in the right headspace now we

gave several factors to be considered

but I ended up giving it a terminal

diagnosis unfortunately I just finished

my conclusions the other day and I have

to give Earth optimistically six to

eight months to live before we can no

longer sustain life please earth itself

is going to die are you unfortunately

not earth it won’t be able to sustain

life so more specifically it’s a

terminal diagnosis for the prevailing

species on earth being humanity you guys

so you won’t be able to live any more

holy you say you guys oh yeah no I’m not

a human I think you may have had that

mixed up I’m a planetary doctor what you

might refer to as an angel I think you

guys have that mixed up they you think

guardian angels I’m like a guardian of

planets I was assigned here by God he’s

a dick by the way spoiler alert yeah he

gave me earth was its first project big

20 years to figure out that it’s

terminal

galavan’s screwing it up unfortunately

okay so you’re you’re saying that you’re

a heavenly being I’m I have yeah okay

going by at least I guess the the guise

of a physician okay so you say I’m sorry

you say six to eight months six to eight

months

that’s optimistically it could be

State weeks for all I know largely due

in part to Italy so you’re just to

clarify you spent two decades on this

and you can’t give us a better window

than six to eight weeks or six to eight

months just the six and the eight that

are important here yeah

could that be could you be mixing that

up to be you know there’s a chance

I mean I’ve sent my findings to my

supervisor I haven’t heard back from him

yet so for all I know I’ve missed I not

carried a decimal somewhere so you could

hope for that I mean well what what what

are the I mean what what some of the

examinations you did how did you come to

this conclusion you know I was I was

given dr. London a lot of grief earlier

for relying on robots and such to come

to conclusions yeah we don’t rely on

robots they’re very faulty we rely on

these heavenly instruments which gauged

the you know healthy attributes of a

given celestial body and in this case

it’s largely due in part to a series of

cancerous growths found along the whole

of a planet or what you might refer to

as the outer crust which are largely

described as an invasive species yeah

it’s kind of is killing the host that’s

yes the largest outer crust so that’s

that’s where we are yes humans yes are

you referring to humanity as the cancer

on this planet

pretty much it’s hard to distinguish

between the two definitions when you

describe humanity and you describe out

you know like cancer or virus they’re

indistinguishable from one to the other

so like cuz we were just talking about

cancer for the medical lesson so it

you’re saying that humanity is malignant

you know multiplying invasive absolutely

yeah this carcinoma that you were

referring to I had it mixed up with Jer

balsam marrow of these think is the

president of Brazil he’s one of the

biggest culprits these are burning down

the Amazon down there which as you know

are the lungs of the planet and so you

could say that planet Earth has

concocted a small cell lung carcinoma of

the lungs wait they’re blaming the like

in the rainforest and in the Amazon on

that guy you know I not like not like a

guy in his early 30s from America who

was maybe just trying to like kept some

ants on fire and things got cut out of

control and he he jetted that’s not

anywhere in your research I didn’t find

it oh okay oh yeah I mean they’ll be

weird if you did find something like

that right I mean like that’d be so

strange

yeah I’m gonna have to look back at the

data no no there’s no reason to do that

at all it’s just blamed on that guy it’s

all that guy and okay Cameron you don’t

want to you don’t want to confess

anything here no I’m suspicious here my

uh my angel instincts are starting to

tingle responsibility for this oh you

can just keep the subject going on well

what have some other things that lead

you to believe that I mean we as a

species are sort of a cancerous tumor

well the case symptoms have really shown

themselves just in the last few months

this year’s been rife with it you know

all the continent-sized fires in

Australia the spread of kovat 19 these

are clear indicators even the civil

unrest of the protests all clear

indicators of the terminal development

of the you know we’re in the end stages

of it that’s why I don’t give us very

long those Australian fires there wasn’t

anything in your findings about maybe

like an American who was traveling over

there because he was testing this sort

of competitor to bird scooters using

sort of rocket Jets and things went

really really wrong I relented there I

remember that clearly we have yet to

identify that individual but he was a oh

yeah oh yeah I had read about that on

Twitter that’s why I was asking about

that but I don’t I mean the you know

that just from the internet Cameron

didn’t you have nope didn’t we have a

sponsor no that trying to compete with

on scooters or no similar no sir don’t

remember that don’t remember anything

like no angel senses

here I’m gonna have to add you to my

list of suspects sir who who else is on

that list Joe Rogan is on that list

despite not being seen on the on that

continent

I had the Kobe Bryant until he died but

multiple individuals those are the only

two I think you’d be aware of okay it’s

largely on the species though I want to

make that clear

everyone bears responsibility for this

catastrophic cat catastrophic yeah

catastrophic diagnosis everyone save

save save maybe out what is this London

Smith London Smith came back is that

with the exclusion – that didn’t bear

any responsibility unfortunately yeah

unfortunately unfortunately I only say

that because after two decades of

diagnosis I kind of want I’m kind of

leaning towards the destruction of the

cancer obviously every doctor weren’t

the cancer that they diagnosed today

but London Smith was not a part of that

so yeah yeah hey dr. London can I

actually talk to you in private for a

second if that’s okay yeah yeah inside

mr. dr. angel sir could you just play

some games on my phone

sure sure I love games hey dr. Londe

yeah so this dr. angel guy I know his

name is an angel guy but he’s saying he

is an angel or whatever mm-hmm but

here’s the thing

one he’s telling us that all of this

stuff is gonna happen somewhere between

six to eight weeks from now or six to

eight months from now or years he

doesn’t really know where centuries or

millennia for millennia or whatever yeah

and – he’s here to place the blame on me

for everything well okay that part you I

don’t think that you were even going to

be blamed until you spoke up and himself

dr. London he’s talking about how he

loves when he finds out that everyone is

cancerous and awful not not everyone

obviously well but think about this

doctor in London

is this an angel or is this possibly a

former angel like he retired no think

lower dishonorable discharge no think an

angel that went from heaven which is as

we all know the sky to some place below

the ground it’s like a tunnel er like a

parachuting a mole man you think this

you think dr. Evans is a mole man yeah

obviously yes okay and I don’t I don’t

really know how to would it be in a mole

man’s best interest to get rid of the

surface dwellers and is oh could that be

okay yeah so they can use Six Flags any

time they want

right okay well let’s let’s get back to

sorry uh so dr. Evans um yes

did you conduct a lot of your research

underground by any chance

oh yes I had to place these gauge

instruments have any heavenly gauge

instruments to gauge the the health of

primarily the Amazon being the world’s

lungs and so that’s where a lot of the

data came from okay

and so but underground was the yes

method yes

did did a lot of your data collection

and research was that conducted

underground like just for the most part

no that the actual research was

conducted in heaven okay well I guess

you just you mean the compilation of the

research because obviously had to be

yeah on the planet for that okay you’ve

got you got the data from underground

compiled it up and the the heavens I

just can’t see I don’t I do think it’s

odd that that I am the so exception to

to the car to being a cause of the

malignancy because

as much as I do try to be eco-friendly I

sometimes do you know mess up in all

honesty that could very well be an

anomaly it’s the first time I’ve seen

such an exclusion I wouldn’t make on it

it’s your first assignment as well yes

I’m newly licensed I need to give that

in full disclosure I haven’t gotten the

findings back from my supervisor I’m

confident in them but you never know I

did want to explain the silver lining

though it’s not all dire okay yeah the

silver lining is a you know as much as

99% of the you know surface dwellers

will perish in about six to eight months

there is a outside chance of a dystopian

like post-apocalyptic existence going

forward which could be fun I’ve seen

plenty of movies that really hype that

up like The Matrix you could really see

Humanity flourishing in such an

environment so I would focus on that as

the the positive outcome here you watch

a lot of movie I do we’re big fans up

here okay just so you watch a lot of

movies at least like the matrix and I

don’t know maybe Mad Max or something

yes

strictly sci-fi is is our choice we

don’t understand the cultural references

of the rom-coms

right okay and you say that it’ll be

this great society but it is

you said 1% will be remaining yeah

that’s optimistic most of you will die

but approximately 1% might be able to

survive in a type of you know

post-apocalyptic environment which if

it’s anything like the movies could be

quite fun okay

so now as well I have a question real

quick though is the 99% is this are

these people being chosen or these is

this just a random number how do we make

ourselves one of these 1% you’d need to

be a billionaire most likely you got

that the resources to live in the type

of bunker environment I mean just look

at that environment in the Matrix movies

how the hell do they build that you’d

have to be somebody like that Amazon CEO

or Bill Gates

there are probably the ones that will

survive unfortunately so this 1% is kind

of the 1% you guys typically refer

to the 1% most powerful and all of those

people they’re likely to be the ones to

just survive unless you can get in as

like one of their personal slaves or

something like that that might be your

best bet so we dr. London we should be

good right isn’t that about where you’re

at

no ok so financially no so I’m I’m in

the 1% most educated nope in the world

but not yes I know that’s wrong that

that cannot be true even if it were I

wouldn’t count at all unfortunately yeah

that’s what I’m saying so yeah that

doesn’t seem to seem to matter but

you’re definitely you’ve definitely got

a like a billion dollars right no I

think you I think the cutoff is like 10

billion so even a billions not enough

yeah and I’m not well I think if we I

mean we can scrounge to get like if I

could sell my PlayStation and would you

have any assets your best bet is to

offer goods and services to the 1% if

you can get in as a one of their

providers in terms of service or do like

a blood bonus a doctor

yes which is more valuable in the in a

post-apocalyptic world a doctor or a

blood boy well what what blood type are

you Cameron it doesn’t matter well in

this new world negative I think would be

the preferred one since that’s correct

all they would want to negative I don’t

think Bill Gates is o-negative

I am unfortunately it’s just one of the

areas in which I got an A+ so I’m a

positive blood so just the way you said

that arrogance that I would get in

contact with them very soon you’ll want

to become one of their blood donors

immediately to you know get lumped in

with that 1% that’ll survive because

it’ll be soon it we probably won’t make

it to Christmas I mean is there anything

we can do to stop it

no maybe 20 years ago you know the the

latest studies largely the latest

studies that are often quoted here are

the measurements for Mount Monta Noah

from Hawaii they indicated co2 levels of

approximately 400 parts per million

which the last time that the co2 levels

were that high the oceans were 80 feet

higher than they currently are and you

know qualifying bit to know there is

that half the world’s population lives

within 20 miles of the ocean so that’s

just half the world right off the gate

so you’re saying that like there’s a

good chance than this new world we’ll

all be getting into sort of like water

sports and surfing a lot more oh yeah

movie Waterworld is very accurate very

accurate well I only know the ride sorry

you say twenty years ago we could have

done something but you you’re also

saying that 20 years ago is when you

started researching yeah it was very

hard to resist intervening and

explaining this twenty years ago but

it’s strictly against the guidelines

once we start to diagnose

this we have to remain completely remote

until the findings are divided yeah okay

so you mean is there a connection

between your research methodology and

the decline of the world sort of a

connection here just with these two data

points right now and that you started

this research 20 years ago being like

well if someone were to do something

right now it’d probably be fine but then

the more you’ve researched the worse

it’s got yeah it’s true that the

observer inevitably affects the observed

but what humans were doing 20 years ago

they just largely kept on doing they’ve

been warning sending out the warning

signs with this climate change

information for decades going back to

the 60s and 70s and they just keep

putting on the gas so I doubt anything

could have happened you bring up

something very interesting was that

which is that by of the the observer

affecting the outcome are you familiar

with the double slit experiment dr. no

the double slit experiment says that

when two thingies are shot through a

little slit yes then it becomes the it

becomes light it becomes no it it

reflects off of the gamma rays right

when you observe it it is more like

waterways and so that tells me it it

begs the question of do you know any of

these people that I could contact about

maybe be in their blood boy okay for our

listeners that was not an accurate

explanation of what the double split

experiment is oh yeah you don’t even

know the name of it dr. London you just

said the double split experiment which

is not what it’s a split so who are we

gonna trust the person who said it

correctly the first time or the person

who is stupid and who runs this podcast

I’m going with Cameron on this one that

sounded pletely accurate to me

okay all right so so what was your oh

your point was that observation as

opposed to direct intervention of my

point you’re affecting the outcome yeah

because that’s what quantum theory is

about the point is long gone dr. London

okay

would you mind website when do I get my

website plug oh I’m sorry about that you

have you have a website to plug oh yeah

yeah just cuz we’re earth-dwellers

or just because you’re thrillers and I’m

a heaven dweller it doesn’t mean we

don’t have the Internet I was gonna

mention to people to check out earth is

terminal comm where you can buy a

t-shirt that says the earth is doomed

just a slipper lining you might want to

die in that rather than your clothes yes

look I’m just gonna I’m gonna be upfront

here real quick before we get into the

website thing I gotta ask here you are

you’re talking you’re saying that you’re

sort of like a heavenly body and you

live with Wi-Fi in heaven and all this

kind of stuff but at the same time

you’re cheering on the destruction of

Earth is it possible and you got up you

gotta tell the truth to me right now is

it possible that you are a fallen angel

aka more commonly known as a moment a

mole person yeah I did fall and trip my

trip up my knee the other week and boom

yeah yeah I have to confess I do have to

tell the truth that it that is a true

statement I fell I hurt my knee and I

have not been the same since I heard you

earlier talking about restless leg

syndrome or something like that I’m

concerned on my you know contracted that

need time no knee time is just hot it’s

just a new form of time I’m talking

about restless leg syndrome right I know

what you’re talking about

I’m saying I’m talking about me time I

don’t have that no I’m not aware of this

dr. London can you explain to me the

medical science behind knee time well so

Cameron you keep on referring to like

you need to have your knee time and it’s

time just alone to feel your knees tell

you the time of day

uh-huh but I that’s you are the only

person I’ve ever heard referenced that

concept you might want to do a little

more research then have you looked on

the internet recently

nope oh you sir Cameron gov slash knee

time okay I have not checked that out

but what if we went to this website that

uh that our mole person friend dr. Evans

has proposed so you said it’s what about

Earth’s Oh earth is turning oh yeah you

can buy t-shirts earth is okay just type

that in okay okay so there its first

thing I guess we’ll register okay not

necessary but yeah you might want to so

yeah name okay it is asking for a lot of

information like personal information

yeah all those unrequired well no like

obviously I’m not gonna put in a social

security number we already know it

anyway yep so it’s also asking like what

are you wearing I’m gonna have I’ll talk

to the person that set that up that’s

inappropriate yeah well it also just my

webcam there’s a light for it when it’s

on and it did just turn on yeah I’m

gonna talk to have I have to talk about

talk to Dave about that Dave set up that

website I take no responsibility

I just know about the t-shirts yeah and

there yeah there is a there’s a little

tab for that but like this it really

seemed like he was pushing me towards

this par and it’s it’s just got all

these questions about like what am i

into are you sure you’re ready Earth is

terminal calm and that Earth is not work

no that was a key difference we thought

about changing the domain name to avoid

confusion but it gets right to the point

earth the earth is terminal calm is

where you want to be earth is terminal

org that’s the creeper site that we

found as well I think that’s what you

might be referring

to where they want to spy on your

webcams yeah not fun and I mean and

there’s in your research you found

nothing about like an American who set

up a website like that in order to get

in order to date a mine we tried we try

we were not able to find him okay or her

it could be her it could yeah yeah them

okay so well I get I think we’ve spent

enough time on the the website at this

point but just so we have the idea that

okay it’s uh it’s a place where you can

go to buy t-shirts right right terminal

comm you can buy t-shirts they earth is

doomed that’s about all there is okay I

guess I don’t

sure sure I guess that sounds fine any

questions for me on the fate of the

universe

well I mean I feel like you’ve answered

am I allowed to ask questions like

beyond the scope of Earth go for it I’ll

tell you what I know I mean do you when

was I know you’re a new employee but

when was the last time that’s happened

to a planet not that I have been able to

see at least in cases where there is an

active civilization currently residing

on the planet this has been a first oh

so wait wait so you’re also inspecting

other planets that can sustain life and

they’re doing just fine oh absolutely

Mars was doing great up until a few

millennia ago oh wait so when you say

you’re a new employee when did you say

you started again about 22 years ago

yeah 1998 but and before that what was

your job

oh well I was in training to become this

that’s what I started off as I didn’t do

anything before took me about two

millennia to get my doctorate

specializing in solar system health

localized to sub quadrant B of the Milky

Way galaxy I have to specify that that

encou incorporates the current solar

system yeah so I I gotta ask though what

was like the main thing we screwed up

like the number one thing that like God

if we just didn’t do that even if it was

from like millions of years ago or

whatever we know it’s something I didn’t

do we know that much we know

dr. London wasn’t involved we know there

is a mysterious American going around

the world making things well whenever

you went past the point of no return was

the emergence of animate yeah anime and

manga it’s something there yeah

you can blame anime that’s where it

really crossed over there was no hope

after that point so so you’ve seen that

the introduction of anime that and

that’s the hydration that that style

that is effectively I guess do some

chain reaction butterfly effect have a

thing that is what is causing the world

to end absolutely wait is it a butterfly

effect thing or is it that anime itself

was distracting people from doing good

or from you know cleaning up after

themselves all of it because I

admittedly I don’t watch really I don’t

really watch anime right but you are the

one exception dr. Holland in the

animated show was exquisite we’re big

fans but the creators are the ones that

bear the responsibility yeah there seems

to be some kind of like picture a Venn

diagram

you got the anime creators and then

you’ve got the people fucking up the

environment they’re in the same group so

so I didn’t really have to picture a

Venn diagram at all I just needed to

picture one circle precisely there’s a

little bit of an overlap and then an you

know there’s a few anime you know

contributors that had nothing to do with

it but it’s very it was good to practice

multiple circles correct so that’s not a

bad habit okay

well this this has been enlightening now

hopefully we can you know make some

progress

maybe we’ll surprise you with our

ability to try to become an organ donor

to the 1% that’s your best bet

to get in with that 1% survivors and the

dystopia in a post-apocalyptic

environment try to become an organ donor

I would go for that or the blood

donation you were referring to earlier

if you’re positive or negative that’s

your best bet right there yeah well

because Cameron has been Cameron you

went to to school to be a blood boy is

that right well it’s not really a school

it’s more like a retreat and while you

were there they you just learned how to

give blood I guess uh to be completely

honest well if you if you’ve been it’s

on a blood boy retreat then you don’t

remember a blood boy going crazy or

something no that’s what happens in

Vegas stays yeah but I say if you go on

a blood boy retreat you do not remember

what happened and that’s it

you ain’t gonna remember what happened

on the blood boy retreat let me tell ya

no think it’s usually because of the

blood that’s been draining out of your

body yeah no that’s that’s what I was

suspecting when you said that okay so

I think that’s probably a good time to

wrap it up but feel like we’ve kind of

gotten as many lessons as we cut out of

that I think in general to our listeners

let’s try to do what we can to help the

environment and hopefully we can don’t

it sounds like what our guest is saying

here is that it doesn’t matter right

correct

yeah way past the point to fix anything

that’s just yeah do whatever you want

what’s the thing where you hook up

something to your pickup truck to make

clouds of smoke way worse I’m I’m not

sure is it rolling coal

I think it’s rolling coal so I would

encourage all of our listeners to try to

do that as much as you possibly can you

just pump just black smoke into the air

with your car or your scooter if you’ve

got a bird scooter that’s fine you can

just produce the smoke yourself just

find something that produce a lot of

smoke hook it up to a hose taped to the

bottom of your car shoot that out the

back who cares

go for your trash on the ground get over

with run over people with your car

yes I’m finding a lot of freedom in this

dr. London I’m encouraged we should

probably just end this before it goes

any further to our listeners I would say

I I cannot endorse those those ideas

that Cameron just said really we should

just try to help one another try to help

the environment try to you know

eliminate waste all of that you know

since nothing matters you know what I’m

gonna do I’m gonna eat that little

packet that comes in beef jerky that

says you’re not supposed to do that I’m

gonna do it I want to do it thank you to

to our guest dr. Benjamin Evans

it’s been a pleasure and what was that

name again of the website and anything

else you’d like to plug here Earth is

terminal comm yeah you can get a t-shirt

there you can contact me if you have any

additional questions before you die of

course but yeah I’ve said all I need to

say thank you very much for the time

yeah okay

thank you to our producer Cameron as

always thank you too oh sorry I’m a bit

distracted I’m now watching watch this

cold rolling Ram go crazy when a Tesla

is spotted okay good cool I’m getting

I’m just I’m learning a lot right yeah

and thank you – did you do that how will

the symptoms have really shown

themselves just in the last few months

just been rife with it you know all the

continent-sized fires in Australia the

spread of kovat 19 these are clear

indicators even the civil unrest of the

protests all clear indicators of the

terminal development we’re in the end

stages of it that’s why I don’t give

this better

the earth is doomed the earth is doomed

the earth is doomed

the earth is doomed the earth is doomed

the earth is doomed the earth is doomed

I’m dr. London Smith I like smoking

joints

unlike smoke joints on your joints I

work for special joins others

this has been the jock doc podcast see

you the tumbleweed rolls by propelled by

a gust of wind yep it’s gonna be another

slow day out here you take the straw out

of your mouth after finally deciding

that this is not the plants type of

straw but rather a drinking straw and

such a thing doesn’t really fit with

your current country vibe you continue

vibing sometimes pausing to chill but

always returning back to the vibing you

then hear an angry voice quiet at first

but escalating in volume as its source

nears how great this again yeah you

asked trying to suppress your annoyance

are you going to fix the toilet or not

the owner of the nearby house replies it

is flooding and you got here quickly but

then you just apparently decided to go

sit out here by the creek in the shade

look sir madam or however you identify I

don’t tell you how to do your job how

about you don’t tell me how to do mine

speaking of doing your job it’s about

time that you got off your lazy rear and

and wrote a five-star review of the jock

Doc podcast in which you write an

explanation and apology for why you have

not done so thus far and while you’re at

it go ahead and share the jock Doc

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thanks for listening

Oh hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice okay

if you need medical advice or medical

care

just go on and contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr london smith

but remember all podcasts matter

introducing your host

dr london smith but again

all hosts are important so f*** off dr

london

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

dr londonsmith.com i would like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as hyperbilirubinemia and

the turkey says gobble gobble

will try to temper my terminology to a

simpler one in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron dr london

now that was an intro thank you

so that was our producer cameron cameron

is so dedicated i mean we’ve got this is

what this is our 55th episode

right yeah yes we’ve gone through so

much

trash just to finally get to the point

where you

sound like you’ve used a microphone

before

i so you’re saying the sound quality is

better yes

uh your aura in gen did anything has

anything new happen to you i mean

or should we get to that in a second i

get i mean i’ve been

we can get to it in a second but yeah i

have been doing some new activity

uh so anyway cameron here he’s so

dedicated to making sure

that our podcast stays relevant that

when he heard that

independence day was coming up he began

drawing up plans

for his own independence from

what he called the man

so cameron i do want to clarify isn’t

the man you’re referring to

just the guy at the end of your block

who keeps

removing the traffic cones that you have

been placing

at kind of random spots in the street

uh that is that is a man i wouldn’t

i feel like the man requires additional

context

depending on the conversation so

at that point yes i was telling you

about how i was putting all the traffic

cones down because i thought it would be

cool to

make my street a little more like like

rc cars like remote control cars and

make it fun so everyone has to

kind of as fast as they can like slalom

down the road

ziggly back and forth and maybe there’s

some little ramps and stuff like that

yes and then the guy thing in my street

kept saying like

you have to stop doing this or i’m going

to arrest you

oh so he was a police officer i don’t

think so and that

part terrifies me even okay

all right well he’s he’s just a guy okay

and he’s super tall and i feel like

that’s part of it

that’s part of his like i guess a power

complex

yes just apart he’s gonna use his height

in the arrest in some way

and i haven’t figured out how but it

disturbs me to no end

okay well uh also with us

is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

is

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest

oh two special guests is that right that

is right dr london and actually

i’ve heard that at the end of this

episode there’s gonna be a

fun surprise as long as you keep

listening

i’ve heard of such a surprise

so hopefully that gives you a little

hint and i’ll reveal it at the end of

the episode

wow okay because normally like i’d like

you to just

share with me things beforehand so we

can just okay

that would oh oh leah let me uh i’m

oh i’m santa claus let me just uh send

you a text message real quick with every

gift i’m gonna bring you

for christmas i’m moron

so usually people for santa claus people

do write a list

for santa that’s that’s actually right

but i’m saying i’m

santa and i’m telling you beforehand

what your gift is

i’m sending you an email that says hey

i’m saying to just let you know

uh in a couple weeks it’s gonna be

christmas here’s what i’m gonna bring

you i

know that’s not how it works no again i

called you a moron

really emphatically i was right to do

okay

you’ve squandered all the good will you

had at the beginning of this episode dr

london all right well well before we

move on i would like to address a bit of

listener feedback so i found this note

taped to my assistant’s forehead when

they gave me my morning update before

clinic

the note reads quote too bad they don’t

make them like they used to

or we could put them in a jar and guess

how many were in there

end quote first of all i would like to

thank you for reaching out to us here at

the jock talk podcast

with that that question um

so to answer that question

i i guess i just feel like these

questions cameron

i don’t know if you find these people

but it really seems out of context but

something

that they collect or put in a jar and

they would guess how many were in there

do you know what this person’s talking

about

well i’m not a doctor i’ve put lots of

things into jars

that i could count but i’m not a doctor

it looks like they’re wanting a

doctor’s advice yeah sorry i

i didn’t realize i was supposed to be

doing your job

your medical job too no it’s just i know

i do all the work on the podcast and i

do your job here

but i didn’t realize i was supposed to

follow you to work you know

you wake up in the morning i go oh

london’s getting up i better get up too

and then rush into your office

and uh answer all your patients

questions oh dr london

my the the hip replacement you gave me

it’s

my whole body is becoming all hip

something’s happening

and you say oh i can’t i can’t handle

that cameron you deal with that

when i kill the guy on accident because

i don’t know what i’m doing

i okay well i guess i only

pulled you in for a second on that one

because you do sometimes

talk to you find patients or people you

think are patients of mine

and then you’ll speak to them as if

you know we’ve conferred on something

okay

so anyway for this patient um

thank you for your question uh whatever

you put in the jar

uh it is fun to guess how many things

are in a jar that’s a fun competition

thing i’m not sure if that’s such she’s

probably asking for a guess just just

make a guess oh like a number yes

i think so uh 43

nope is that okay

thanks for listening

is too much well do you have a guess

then

because you can yeah like 30 yes

okay you can’t fit 40 of anything into a

jar

nope like

drops of water nope 30

35 max now for today’s medical topic

asthma asthma is an obstructive lung

disease that is characteristically

defined

by the triad of airway inflammation

airway hyper responsiveness

and reversible airflow obstruction

asthma can begin at any age

yes most cases of asthma are dr london i

i gotta jump in here i’m really sorry

but

we’ve gotten so many comments it seems

like every single episode half of the

complaints we get are that

this section is just too dry we have to

make it more fun and so we i think

we can come up with relevant ways

medical ways

that are relevant to your topic that we

can use to sort of liven up this section

so for example right now you’re talking

about

asthma and you’re talking about you know

uh respiratory problems

so why not try to do this entire section

in one breath

and that that does factor into part of

it

i guess so you think this will be more

engaging to the listeners

okay i think it’ll be something i don’t

know what it’ll be

okay that’s better than what’s been

happening so i’ll do i’ll do as

as much as i can i’m gonna it might have

to be multiple breasts but i’ll try to

do as much as i can

per breath okay okay ready okay let me

hear the breath

this is an audio format so we really

need to hear the inhale

okay so we have

okay and i’m going to do with a lesson

for my next can i get a

give me a little bit more dramatic

inhale

no more bigger okay

yes that’s it most cases of asthma are

extrinsic which means that patients are

atopic in other words they produce

immunoglobulin e to environmental

antigens and this may be associated with

eczema and hay fever these patients

typically become asthmatic at a young

age can be triggered by pollens house

dust molds cockroaches

cold air exercise in certain medications

such as beta blockers and aspirin among

other things

intrinsic asthma on the other hand is

not related to hip or

environmental triggers okay so that was

wow one part you’re just like david

blaine when he did that magic trick

where he held his breath

i feel like this is the kind of the

opposite not exactly the opposite but

you know it’s the same thing okay so

david

blaine performed the craziest magic

trick i’ve ever seen

and it like he he he did

sometimes you see like a pin and teller

or something you’re like oh i can figure

out how to do that

here’s this guy he holds his breath for

like five minutes or whatever

isn’t that isn’t that magic well

maybe i guess i don’t usually measure

i don’t time myself that much for how

long but five minutes sounds like a lot

yeah

yeah it’s my favorite magic trick is

that david blaine holds his breath

oh that’s the that’s the cause i thought

i saw one time he’d

like cut open fruit and there was stuff

in it

oh i didn’t realize today’s topic was

fruit are we talking about

fructose all of a sudden dr london no

you’re right you’re right i’ll i’ll get

back to the topic

should i take your inhale okay

clinically patients with asthma will

typically present with intermittent

symptoms including shortness of breath

wheezing

chest tightness and cough which will

usually occur within 30 minutes of

exposure to triggers additionally

symptoms are typically worse at night

wheezing during both

inspiration and expiration is the most

common finding on clinical exam

okay and this next part is actually

where the one breath thing

relates to the topic

pulmonary function test so require

diagnosis

redo it okay the breath

couldn’t hear no enthusiasm in it

there’s no life in it

okay

i feel like you’re breathing me in i

love it

tests are required for diagnosis and may

demonstrate a destructive pattern

with decreased fev1 also known as forced

expiratory volume the amount of error

they can exhale in one second and

decreased fev1

these fec ratio spirometry before and

after bronchodilators like a beta2

agonist can confirm the diagnosis by

proving reversible airway obstruction if

these tests are unrevealing lung

function before and after inhalation

of increasing doses of methacholine and

muscarinic against can reveal

hyper-responsive airways causing

obstruction at lower doses

chest x-ray is normal in mild cases but

severe asthma will reveal hyperinflation

that being said x-ray is the

only necessary in severe asthma to

exclude other conditions

if the patient is in significant

respiratory distress

arterial blood gas monitoring should be

considered to evaluate

for hyper hypocarbia and hypoxia

okay and now it’s we’ve ever seen this

youtube video called

10 improvised movie scenes that made

actors break character

yes no does that does that relate to

the treatment of asthma

no but it’s got the rock and ludicrous

in a movie together

and like i know they were in fast and

the furious series together

but like this can’t be fast the furies

it has to be a different series right

i guess were you still doing the medical

topic thing

yeah i’m sorry asthma can be kind of a

complicated one in some ways despite how

common it is

i guess then i guess maybe my ideas to

make this section a little more

interesting didn’t work because

basically the second you started talking

i was watching this video of ludicrous

on the rock

oh god knows what

okay so i’ll just finish up then should

i keep doing it the same way or should i

just

i don’t know do whatever you want i

don’t care okay

but i’ll i guess i’ll try to i’ll keep

it up since i started

so treatments include short-acting

beta-2 agonists

such as albuterol for acute attacks then

depending on the severity of the asthma

inhaled corticosteroids long-acting mid

agonists and leukotriene modifiers may

be used in acute severe asthma

exacerbation requiring hospital

patients will typically receive an

inhaled beta-2 agonist through a

nebulizer or metered dose inhaler then

depending on the clinical course

patients may be given iv

corticosteroids if unresponsive to these

medications iv

magnesium may be used other useful

interventions for treatment

include supplemental oxygen with the

oxygen saturation maintained at over 90

percent

antibiotics and severe exacerbation or

suspicion of infection or finally

patients

may be intubated if they are on the

verge of

or are currently in respiratory failure

it looks like matt damon broke on the

set

of uh singing ryan

is that what you’re talking you were

talking about that right

bro he broke what well the because the

youtube video i’m still watching that

youtube video that’s 10 improvised movie

scenes that made actors break character

okay so yeah and saving private ryan

he just started laughing too hard well i

don’t know

it’s muted because i have to listen to

you talk about whatever the hell you’re

trying to talk about

so i can’t even watch the video properly

but yeah i mean he’s laughing in it

okay are you done yeah

yeah okay yes yeah i’m finished

with the medical lesson so i would give

that

an um an a plus

wow thank you

just like my blood type yes all right

uh cameron you said that we have two

guests today is that right

we do dr london all right uh hello

there my name is dr londonsmith.com

and this is our producer cameron uh what

are your names

uh hello mr doctor uh dot com

uh i’m gary gerd and i’m glinda gerd

and uh we’re here for well it’s

it’s great to meet the two of you yes

yeah nice to meet you

gary and get what were your names again

gary and glinda

i am gary i am glenda you can tell that

i’m gary because i have the deeper voice

yes it was difficult to tell when you

said it at the same time

because you’re oh i mean anyone could

have been gary or glinda in that moment

you know what i mean i thought i was

okay we’ll we’ll try it again to make it

clear uh

this is glenda i’m with glenda and this

is gary i’m sitting with gary

yes and we’re the girds yes well i i

thought i had it straight

but then whenever one of you says this

is and you’re talking about the other

person

i don’t know that we went to the right

place glenda for medical advice

i’m sorry yeah we definitely this is not

the place for that at all this is more

of a place for like sports talk and like

hanging out hanging out and like listen

we are very progressive very very

progressive people give to many

charities

so when i say that i have what is known

as a

typical male voice you can hear that

that would be associated with the name

gary which is typically a male

name yeah i don’t i i i i just don’t see

what the problem is gary

no video i know i’m sorry i know i know

i shouldn’t have he is a quack yeah yes

i shouldn’t have you shouldn’t be

calling in to us you shouldn’t be

listening to the show

you shouldn’t be trusting dr london no

hold on so

yeah he’s a quack doctor more like a

doctor

because he’s a quack you’ve got you’re

so angry

at him already and it’s justified thank

you thank you

for saying that but it does make me

question why are you a guest on this

show

even though i got you as a guest well

cameron

when we ran into you at the convenience

store

you had very

kind eyes i guess that’s the that’s is

that the nice way of saying that someone

looks a little bit slow

they have very gentle eyes gentle gentle

gentle better word

very gentle eyes i look very sick too

yeah slightly but but not in a not an

overly sick way yeah just a way where

it’s like oh you’ve been sick for a very

long time

it’s one of those illnesses right not in

a

ooh sick but like oh

sick not so much quantity but quality

you know

and yeah yeah yeah like like linda and i

were saying like

you know this cameron sicky sicky boy

there cameron

invited us on his show yeah and this may

be his make-a-wish

it perhaps and because we’re charitable

people

of course we would and no wonder you’re

so sick if you’re

you know pairing up with the doctor

drlondonquack.com right okay

well then i guess i should ask cameron

so sometimes you go to convenience

stores

for items but

was this the day that you went there

just to push bags of things off shelves

because you told me this was a mission

of yours well it’s not it’s not pushing

bags of things off shelves it’s pushing

things off shelves into bags okay

okay then i take those bags and i put

them on other shelves

cameron cameron darling no wonder you’ve

given up on the will to live

uh because uh dr pinocchio there sure is

nosy

about your comings and going yeah he’s

awful and that is one thing that

pinocchio was known for was being nosey

i am so

pinocchio huge gossip always getting

into people sh

pisses me off exactly

i know i’m so sorry i’m so so we know

that

one thing that brought you dr london

helped these people one thing they

brought you on the show

was that cameron looked ill

what was there any other reason you know

what

glinda we’re coming in hot again it’s

it’s sleep deprivation

i know it really is i think we need to

start all over

again and uh let’s take deep breaths

i think we could all benefit from a deep

breath dr london

i i don’t feel like he really puts his

lungs into that like i think he could

have taken a much deeper breath

yeah he sounds like he’s asthmatic i

heard a whistle

yeah and like a couple of whistles like

if if you’re not gonna

fully take a breath then what are what

are we even here for yeah i don’t know

i don’t know i’m sorry i’m sorry i’ll

i’ll try again

please do thank you

is there a barnyard animal it sounds

like they’re

triceratops in jurassic park yeah that

is constipated

yeah that’s why do you have to go to the

bathroom honey well it was

irrelevant it’s sorry that i

my breathing earlier was kind of being

criticized so i

i thought this was the way to do it but

i guess

that it’s i mean just breathe the way

that you need to breathe

yeah don’t don’t put on a show yeah here

like we’re here

for medical advice not for your gafas

i mean okay well yeah and so with that

in mind we can we can skip over that

part i think

so what what medical advice are you are

you seeking

we’re coming in very hot we’re very

agitated we understand that we are

trying our best we are traveling we are

we’re new parents we’re not getting much

sleep none uh

practically none we have a condition i i

i went on web md uh i believe it’s

called lazy baby

yeah our baby is seven months old

seven uh we’ve given him the dr spock’s

books uh he acts like he can’t even read

the truth no i am so sorry he doesn’t

read

he doesn’t even crawl or walk we have to

carry him everywhere

he puts the books in his mouth like like

he’s just like oh

i don’t understand the concept of food

i’m too lazy to walk to the refrigerator

i’m just gonna put this book in my mouth

uh we have lazy baby uh we’ve

looked at youtube videos we’ve tried the

books uh

we left our tablets with him so he could

you know maybe diagnose the issue

himself he puts the tablets in his mouth

right when he said you’ve

anyone to be concerned here but does

does your child ever put his hands or

feet into his mouth as if they’re not

part of your body at all

and that’s that’s the worst thing you

could have said i mean dr london do you

want to explain to them what’s going on

so one thing they said you know they

they tried the books

right yes try the books so usually when

people say that they

you know they had baby books they tried

they would

read through the baby books and then

apply the lessons he wants

us to we’re adults he wants us to read

baby books no

they’re baby books

you’re telling a bunch of adults to read

oh clifford the big red dog

he uh he saved 9 11 or whatever

and it’s like that’s not no yeah dr

london

why don’t you start treating our guests

with a level of books

baby obviously he doesn’t have kids none

this is he doesn’t have a wife he

doesn’t have a wife and i

do do marriage counseling i’m just going

to throw that out there

oh well you do do marriage counseling

yes

because we’re having doo doo issues too

we are he

he makes doodoos in his in his diapers

and he won’t change him himself he

expects us to do it he’ll look me in my

eyes

and doo doo in his pants and you know

what sometimes he’ll do like

it’s like he’s judging us he’ll pee on

us while we’re changing while we’re

changing the doo doo he’ll pee

on to us have you ever been peed on say

what cameron i know you have yeah but

it’s not nice

no no it’s not it sucks frankly he won’t

get into his own bed we have to put him

in it

dr london pinocchio have you ever been

peed on

is is that one of the things you do yes

when you’re yeah it’s

yes it’s happened to me but that’s

that’s sort of a part of

you know babies right whenever they’re

seven months old all their

skills haven’t really grown they don’t

have gross or fine motor skills really

yet

i’m so sorry he’s insulting her first of

all first of all have you seen a baby

deer

it pops out two seconds later it’s

walking yeah yeah like

you you think our our human child isn’t

as smart as a deer as a deer

yeah uh or a baby tiger uh one of the

most famous movies ever made is about a

baby deer i don’t see a movie being made

about

uh this this kid who can’t even keep

keep it in his

diaper yeah he’s lazy

what’s this deer movie hold up hold on a

second um

the deer movie please oh it’s well it’s

it’s a dog movie it’s air bud he plays

basketball

oh yeah yeah so when you say familiar

when you said dear movie you meant like

it’s very dear to you

yes so with these were these issues

you’re describing with a lazy baby it

sounds like

the developmental stages that humans go

through

whenever they’re at a certain age so

uh you know there are just certain

things like they can start to get

uh as you said like maybe not walking

around yet that’s right

i don’t know what history has to do with

this we’re not we’re not in the bronze

age

or or we’re in the renaissance age

we’re in the nuclear age uh all my

friends

can walk and yeah don’t go to the

bathroom in their diapers exactly

i gotta i gotta let you guys any of them

can read i gotta give you guys some

insight into dr london here dr london

speaks down to everyone so he sees

everyone as this

helpless person who can’t do anything

for themselves who

you know maybe like eats all its food

out of like a little glass jar

and then sometimes if they eat too much

just spit up just right on your

right on your little tummy that’s how he

sees

people in society and those of us who

actually want to do things for ourselves

and you know kind of stand up for

ourselves and you know

have some self-respect we see dr london

for what he really is

which is you know a monster

yes he is a monster 100 right

the comment about the the jar was that a

reference to the listener mail

uh no completely completely separate so

i do think you could

probably fit 30 baby foods into a baby

food jar

if you did it layer by layer like kind

of like a parfait

yeah i mean 39 tops yeah

not anyone who would guess

40. you can’t fit 40 of anything in a

jar thank you

yeah i’m sorry and i i guess i only

questioned it because

cameron had been so you know emphatic

that he knew nothing about

the listener question i knew nothing but

it sounds like this is a common

reference

with regard to how anyways i’m sorry to

to veer off track like that so for your

for your baby maybe consider um

just looking at developmental milestones

that are normal for

that age and we’ve been

doing that we we go to thebump.com

and we’ve daily to that website we’ve

downloaded the application

or you know app if for the kids

uh and he does he doesn’t care he

doesn’t care we’ve been looking at all

the

you know developmental stages yeah

condescending

doctor have you tried to get him to take

a myers-briggs test yet because i feel

like that would help a lot

yeah it came back negative yeah you know

what

the myers-briggs test came back negative

yes yeah i didn’t even know that was no

possible

yeah no personality zero personality

wow like i just don’t understand dr

london i mean do you have any piece of

advice you keep talking about like

hey look up more stuff online they’re

coming to you for help what can you do

i guess one thing that i i can ask is

some basic stuff because of course if

there is

you know if this baby is lazy to the

point of being you know lethargic

disinterested no he’s very active

he’s very active he’s very interested in

uh

uh one thing he is good at he watches

the sesame street

yes the sesame street he will watch the

sesame street

he watches okay that’s a great yeah the

elmo

the elmo and the cookie monster and the

big bird

and the big bird it’s sad how how the

interest in

the streets appeals to kids younger and

younger these days you know what i mean

oh my god oh my god i didn’t even think

about that oh my god oh

okay oh god i’m gonna turn off the

television i’ll just

uh really give you any good advice right

now okay i’ll be right back yeah pause

don’t give

pause any good advice right now

did he listen i think he’s okay i turned

it off he’s crying he turned it out he’s

just screaming

oh okay that’s fine he doesn’t know how

to process his emotions

at all all he does is scream and cry

very impulsive i don’t know where he

gets it from he won’t talk it through

he only says like two words terrible

listener i don’t i i don’t know where he

gets horrible

he won’t even look at me i’m gonna give

you a piece of advice that dr london’s

too afraid

to give you what you’re dealing with

here is a toxic person

yes and in 2020 we’re getting rid of

toxic people in our lives

yes because sometimes i just can’t even

handle this toxicity like of my friends

around me i have this

doctor who sucks

and he annoys me and he keeps stealing

most of my socks i think

and i don’t oh my god i

i put a future feminist onesie on him

and he spit up on it

oh no okay i don’t care i’m sorry to

hear that now no one’s gonna know he’s a

male feminist

and that’s the whole point

yeah i mean i was hoping that he’d get

lots of books later on

yeah it just doesn’t look like that’s

the way it’s gonna go

[Music]

oh this is this is one of those i don’t

wanna

that’s a kind of an unusual comment to

so just um when he gets i

give him time don’t be gross yeah when

he gets married he’ll have puss

yes yeah because we’re we’re

allies and we’re allies yeah unless he

gets some of that uh hot dong

yeah yes either way whichever we’re fine

i would say give it time and maybe try

instead of

giving him these apps to read and

the books to read maybe try reading to

him

some of these things wait wait i just

know he’s just saying the same stuff he

was saying before dr london you’re not

listening to this

at all i just feel like you’re just

telling us to enable his laziness

yep that’s that’s all that’s happening

wait a second glenda though he might

he may have i mean a point we’ve tried

so much we have not tried to

assist yeah that’s true

because maybe if his if his arms don’t

move

quite enough or his legs aren’t strong

enough yet to start walking

then you can assist him a little bit

until he is able to i guess to make it

sort of easier to to understand uh

there may be physical disabilities at

play here right now

and which and as a physician i can tell

you

those things can improve with help

over time so if you give him assistance

let’s say in six months he might be able

to

walk and talk a little bit more

than he currently can and that

and what might sound strange about that

is that’s pretty

normal but one thing you’re at that

one thing you’re not considering at all

dr

london is that our guests are very busy

and they have their own lives to worry

about

but dr london’s telling us to hire

assistants yeah

we hire people right oh

okay i mean yes people do hire

like they’ll have a uh a nurse around to

help

or um you know they people do people do

that that’s that’s not so abnormal

someone to take care of the baby

whenever they have to work

wow and you’re so that’s that’s just

gorgeous about their lives you’re so

disconnected from the common man they

don’t work we

we won the lottery we don’t yeah

oh wow wait how much how much you did

you guys win in the lottery

all of it a little bit yes you won the

whole shebang

just the state lotto you emptied it yeah

yeah

[Music]

well i congratulations thank you oh yeah

it’s been great okay so you you won

all of it and that so that’s why you

could afford

you’re too busy to actually interact

with the

we could afford all the baby books yeah

you know

we’re listen i feel like you’re

insinuating that

we’re being cheap when it comes to our

child

that’s not the case dr london

i’m sorry about that i didn’t mean to i

didn’t mean to imply that how many

babies you know that have an ipad as a

chew toy

yeah yeah probably none very few

yeah yeah doctor london very few name

three

dog dr london doesn’t even know any

babies

he doesn’t even know babies oh oh

great now all of his advice sounds like

hogwash

yeah it does i thought he was on to

something

name one friend of yours that’s a baby

dr london one

well they’re they’re more patients than

they are friends well i can tell you i’m

losing patience with you dr london

[Music]

you know what you know what friends are

patients you just haven’t met yet

oh okay really sweet

yeah that was really profound gear bear

you want to make another baby

yeah like right now sure well let’s

um maybe we’re gonna do this maybe

reconsider that

oh yeah oh yeah just because uh-huh

okay that’s gonna do oh

i feel like this is

did you arrive i mean dr i’m not a

doctor but this is wrong right

nope um what’s happening now this is the

incorrect way to make a baby right

i from what i can i look

i’m sorry i don’t really want to give

advice on how to make a baby

within the context of our medical lesson

of asthma which is the focus for today

but i know that

usually there’s not a snorkel involved

in london for some reason

as soon as i take a train ride if you

will i get very sleepy whenever he

arrives

maybe if you could start holding your

breath or trying to

form your nonsensical answers with one

breath

it might help me stay like contagious

oh okay so you’re saying that

it worked it did work for my medical

lesson yeah

i just need to take a deep breath and

say everything i’m gonna say

as fast as i can just generally

okay

so i guess my advice would be and the

important thing is that none of us cut

you off

when you do this i’m sorry the important

thing is what

that none of us cut you off after you’ve

taken your deep breath

okay because you could get lightheaded

yeah yeah dangerous if you keep taking

deep

inhales without really exhaling you

could get lightheaded so

i will not interrupt you

[Music]

thank you thank you for that okay okay

okay and i think another thing

yeah pointing out is that i think when i

was

going i was going to say you shouldn’t

interrupt him either

glenda that goes for you too okay no

problem okay

so let’s all agree right now that we’re

not going to interrupt dr london

unless we have something like really

like cool to say

okay yeah agree yeah agreement agreement

yes i agree okay so

okay so starting now

dr london are you still oh he’s still

there doctor

i i was scared that you passed out i’m

i’m so sorry

just uh one of the things with the child

you know one of those books that are

made

these improvised movie scenes that made

an actor break one of them is

anchorman which does make sense because

will ferrell

i mean he’s a pretty funny guy yes

i believe it’s pronounced will pharrell

oh i’m sorry like get lucky i was

coughing sounds like from the neptunes

yes yeah i’m sorry i got a little

i got a little light headed there did

you guys i mean i think we can guess

your advice

we um

i’m sure it was really interesting

oh you didn’t even listen before oh no

it was i’m sure it was no

no we totally listened it was super cool

yeah it was so awesome um we should uh

some uh pop on anchorman and

uh let ron burgundy uh teach him what he

needs to know

i’m on burgundy yeah yeah and we got it

all

yeah yeah yeah we were totally listening

and we’re definitely

not gonna go to the diner later and get

milkshakes without you

we’re not gonna do that no no

no no no we wouldn’t do that

yeah okay well i guess that’s um

do you have any more questions about how

to you know

take care of your child i’d say just

like more stimulation more

assistance like you said help i have a

milkshake question now

i know that um shamrock shakes our

proprietary uh item

do you know any uh diners locally that

might sell an equivalent to a shamrock

shake

i don’t know any diners but i

made this thing in my blender the other

day and it’s been sitting there for a

little bit because i

wanted other people to try it out i

think you might be interested

oh you know what we’ll have our baby try

it first yeah

yeah great yeah for sure i don’t

i’m sorry what what is in a

well what is in that shake that you made

cameron

what what ingredients well

four like are they safe for a baby four

fifths of the ingredients

are from the previous thing i had made

in the blender and left in there

and then the new fifth that i’ve added

is flour okay

okay thicken it up yeah okay so a

follow-up question

what was the thing that you made before

that you left four fifths of it so the

thing i had in there before

four-fifths of that was what i had in

there previously that i had blended up

and then just kind of like left in the

blender for a while and then the fifth

that i

added um was salt

one fifth of it was salt

yeah so a savory shake yeah yeah for

sure

yeah absolutely these all sound

perfectly fine

yeah so we’re gonna give these to the

baby pinocchio getting nosy again i know

oh cameron what are you making here in

blender it’s all it’s my business to

know

i can’t answer questions about babies

but i sure want to know about cameron

and his blender

we’re definitely going to give this

concoction to the baby i think we’ve all

agreed on that

but i also i do want to recommend

cutting out toxic people in your life

and i’m sorry but that it’s sometimes

the hardest people to cut out

are the people who suck the most and

unfortunately it does sound like that is

your baby

and i think so i would say block you

know block his number

um you know tell him up front like be

straight about it i hate people who

aren’t like just

like straight up you know what i mean

and so be like hey like just

you’re relying too much on us you’re not

doing anything for yourself like you’re

not taking any initiative

and block them on facebook on twitter

and just tell them like straight up like

you got to make changes or i’m out of

here

yeah i think that’s great advice yeah

that’s solid advice

thank you so much for all of your help

cameron

i all i want to do is help the people

thank oh thank you i’m just here to help

so yeah so one small point there

so a baby that sucks well

is actually a good baby like that’s the

ones

that can’t suck because excuse me excuse

me that’s our baby you’re talking about

yeah that’s a baby doctor

yeah wow whoa inappropriate in whatever

they’re trying to get

inappropriate totes and approach totes

so you’re saying you’re saying the only

legitimate way

uh to feed a baby is through

breastfeeding

using formula or anything like that is

fake and people who do that are fake

moms is that what you’re saying dr

london oh you’re calling our baby a

leech

okay first he said our baby isn’t as

smart as a baby tiger or a baby deer

yeah and now you’re saying our baby is a

leech it’s a leech thanks

thanks a lot uh your advice about

cutting out toxic people yeah

yeah solid it’s very solid thank you

solid

as a rock yes solid as well just like

chevy

yeah so yeah chase so

just one little just a little addendum

there so camera i was talking about

sucking and so with formula with

breastfeeding whatever that all involves

i didn’t realize this podcast was on

pornhub i know

jesus bring it in

but but obviously this is just a

small but important thing is that you

can actually confer some

immunoglobulins to the baby from the

mother via breastfeeding oh no that’s

not he’s talking about magical creatures

yeah goblins give me a break indigo

goblins first of all i’m not filled with

any goblins so i don’t have any goblins

that i’m gonna put into my baby oh my

god i thought you were a doctor indigo

god

i have serious doubts that he’s a doctor

or he’s trained in anything other than

railing people up

he’s one of these agitators i keep

hearing all about

i keep seeing the word agitator in the

news and i’m like i know who i’m

agitated with

yeah for sure he’s like a setting on uh

my washing machine yeah yep 100

yeah so you you get your news by

one word at a time no i get my news from

uh washing machines

yeah there was a possibility there was a

power cycle that happened the other day

that was blew my mind i was not

expecting that

listen to dr london trying to put a spin

cycle on this oh man that was a good one

garbage hey can i steal that

thank you can i steal that oh yeah yeah

it’s all your for sure okay that’s my

joke now their baby

dj dylan yes replay what he just said

but make it sound like my voice

yes do a deep fake can we get a deep

fake dj dylan

yes dr

london trying to put a spin cycle on

this okay great

yes no doctor london what i mean do you

have any closing thoughts

at all just something did they have any

opening thoughts

middle thoughts yeah yeah so just

um you know as we were saying just

remember that maybe

assisting helping the baby for now

it’s more of an investment that will pay

off later whenever the

the baby grows up a little bit functions

with a little bit more independence but

it is a gradual process

so that that can take time

and so it can seem lazy because they

can’t

move themselves very much but

that’s just sort of part of the process

i think we need to

have them watch the mandalorian baby

yoda can use yeah

they’d be able to can use the forest

very you know really comes in handy

yeah yeah all right uh yeah

yeah what you said we’re gonna watch the

mandalorian now yeah sounds good

okay well um you know while we’re here

uh

do you have anything to recommend in

terms of uh

well where people can find you and hear

some of your

advice some of our advice we

came to you for advice we aren’t

sleeping at all

i mean we’re so tired uh sometimes uh

because we don’t have the time to

actually watch movies

uh we do listen to a podcast uh

that features a married couple mm-hmm

speaking about movies

yeah it’s called you made me watch yeah

yeah they sound delicious very fun

they are delightful very fun couples

sound like they know what they’re doing

with parenting because they’re

they’re new parents too we are they have

time to watch movies and then podcast

about it yeah

it really seems like they don’t have a

lazy baby like their baby is

yeah their baby sounds great baby does

something self-sufficient

have they watched have they watched a

rear window

like the hitchcock film

i haven’t i haven’t i mean they

i don’t believe they have i believe

they’re specializing more

in uh 80s uh and 90s

uh 70s 80s and 90s trash and 70s 80s and

90s

uh kid movies

oh okay sorry i i’ve broken my leg and

i’ve been looking out at all my

neighbors through a telescope so i had

some questions about that but

i’ll i’ll ask somewhere else oh you’re

thinking the shia labeouf movie

yeah shia labeouf’s rear window the the

hitchcock film

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

exactly

okay i thought that was with johnny depp

the secret window

yeah the shia labeouf johnny depp

hitchcock film

secret window yeah looks out into the

garden of good and evil with kevin

spacey

yep yeah okay so yeah that sounds like a

great podcast what was the name of it

again

uh it’s called you made me watch and uh

you know since we don’t have the time to

watch

movies like blood diner or homeward

bound

or streets of fire or

uh babes in toyland or night at the

roxbury

we just listen to these people talk

about it

and exactly it makes us feel like we’ve

watched the movie yeah

it’s real fun oh that’s great yeah all

right

well i guess with that in mind thank you

to our guests uh

gary gern and glenda gern gerd gerd

i’m sorry gerd

they’ve been here just putting up with

your bs

excuse my language no but

it’s it’s fine the bs cameron it’s you

and me

yes thank you and i do want to say

closing thoughts just a little bit

it does look like here that one of the

other movies that

an improvised scene caused the actor to

break is good will hunting and matt

damon is breaking in that one too

so i think what we’re learning here is

that maybe tom hanks and robin williams

weren’t really that funny

it’s just that made matt damon’s got a a

little bit of a funny bone that get

gets tickled pretty easily and so i

think you could probably take that

advice and apply that to your baby

somehow

um you know i’m not gonna hold your hand

through that because you’re your own

independent people who can figure stuff

out on your own

thank you yeah you know what i’d like to

see a blooper reel for

what’s that schindler’s list same

yep yeah i bet they’re all you think

that girl in the red dress is just

cracking up

oh yeah just losing it yeah 100

yeah don’t there’s no spoilers no

spoilers no spoilies

all right well so thank you to being on

the show thank you to

our producer cameron for being on the

show you

yes yes thank you cameron thank you

thank you

thank you cameron thankful for just

cameron okay thank you cam

thank you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

so i didn’t realize this podcast was on

pornhub

i know jesus pornhub bring it in

whoa inappropriate inappropriate totes

inappropriate totes and approach totes

interprobes

felt synaprobes yes totes inappropriate

yes tell it’s inappropriate yes

[Music]

my name is dr londonsmith.com oh oh dr

dr london before before pinocchio dr

pinocchio before we leave i forgot

my big surprise oh that i i’m sure you

heard a lot about i’m sure you’ve been

listening

and you can probably guess what my big

surprise was that i

teased at the beginning of the episode

is it a jar

uh no it’s the it’s it i’m sure you’ve

heard

the episode it was the the gift was the

episode that we just did oh that’s so

nice

that’s magical that’s really magical wow

it sounds like he almost didn’t even

need to bring it up at all

the real podcast was the friends we made

along the way yeah

for sure that’s and that is true

all right well this has been the jock

dock podcast

see ya

[Music]

you feel that something is off something

that makes your body feel

bad but in your current state there’s

little you can do

you cry out for help but somehow your

attempts to articulate your present

state of distress

do not appear to register in the ears of

those around you

finally hands grasp you they pick you

up and you rest against a kind shoulder

you spit up a little as she pats your

back and your body momentarily grants

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thanks for listening

Hey you’re about to listen to a comedy

that means welcome to the jock doc

podcast featuring dr. London Smith much

like the second wave of coronavirus we

are back and bigger than ever

[Music]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast or we discuss fitness and health

and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host dr. London

smith (.com) I would like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that I’ve been using such as

interictal electroencephalogram and the

horse votes

neigh so I will try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron Jock doc podcast

okay alright so Cameron he is so

dedicated to making sure that our

podcast stays relevant that when he

heard that as our cast you want to tell

do you want to tell our audience why our

podcast is after dark tonight dr. London

yeah well so we’re recording normally

record you know they know it’s it’s dark

in the room right now it’s recording

this spookily at midnight yeah and do

you want to tell our audience why we’re

recording at such a spooky time dr.

London so this week it was just sort of

um I could only get so many

availabilities I was on call and so this

was the time that worked for me

no nope we’re raising the dead tonight

dr. London do you knew that I when you

say that I knew it I feel like did you

just think it well yeah but this whole

thing is about like supernatural and

like when you say though this whole

thing feel like this whole idea that I

had and once about the after dark

and so like telekinesis and stuff like

that so I figured the idea that you had

was just an idea and it was just in your

head and the theme

yeah just like 30 minutes whatever you

ask me to tell our listeners why you

thought that I would be able to track

with that mm-hmm yeah I guess it was my

fault for trusting you yes – uh okay do

what you’re supposed to do I guess I

don’t know though regardless we’re gonna

be raising the dead after dark and the

dead of course being your patients the

many many the piles of of dead patients

when there’s flooding and rain storms

they they get lifted out of their graves

because they had to stack the bodies on

top of each other because there were so

many kind of plots at the cemetery and

that’s what we’re talking to you tonight

seeing how they feel it well also with

us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

gasps and later Cameron tells me that we

can expect two special guests that’s

right dr. London Wow okay well that

sounds great before we move on I would

like to address a bit of listener

feedback I found this note tattooed onto

the inside of my lower lip the other day

the note reads quote this is how I got

hookworms after I did acid and did

questionable things at Woodstock luckily

I found Jesus dewormer and soap take it

from an ex hippie mother earth doesn’t

give you consent end quote

agreed first of all I would like to

thank you for reaching out to us here at

the dark dark podcast I don’t know how

you managed to get to my lip and tattoo

it with such an extensive message but I

guess to answer your question yeah it’s

not really a question it’s just more

like a story yeah like an anecdote

yeah I’ve been more a lesson really but

yeah I guess if you do find Jesus

dewormer and soap it can solve a lot of

your problems and can you talk about the

medical science behind that

well soap can you know break down the

lipid membrane of certain you know cells

and so it’s a useful tool for washing

yeah and then dewormer that’s that’s

used to to get rid of the worms they

referenced hookworms

so there oh so soap is this magical

thing but it can’t even get rid of worms

well worm and dewormer is this magical

thing but I can’t I can’t wash my hands

with it like soap you’re not making any

sense dr. London yeah well so so I

mentioned that that lipid layer and

that’s what that’s what we’re so the

worms don’t a little lip this is why it

was tattooed on your lips

yes well no it sorry to clarify it lipid

livid by it means oh yeah I’m lipid

right now that we’re going over this

again livid with anyway anyway thank you

to that listener for reaching out to to

my lower lip now for today’s medical

topic bronchiectasis

bronchiectasis is an uncommon disease

most often secondary to an infectious

process that results in the abnormal and

permanent distortion of one or more of

the conducting bronchi or Airways in the

lungs so basically a chronic respiratory

condition causes the airways to become

so damaged over time that their

structure changes the structure lives

Airways dr. Lennon can you can you

mature this up a little bit part about

this being like after dark it’s like

kids are gone to bed you know like it’s

only the grown-ups it’s HBO it’s amateur

now like we’re only dealing with the

adults can you I mean you’re giving us

kid stuff okay because normally you’d

say that the marketing is primarily

towards children so tonight will be the

exception to that yeah because what this

is after dark all the kids are good good

night kids

going to bed and then what is everyone

else doing you’re turning on the jock

talk podcast okay I’m not I’m not sure

how I can make this more adult because

it’s just accept that one sneaky kid

he’s like yeah I’ve got my dad iPhone so

I’m gonna listen to the doctor podcasts

even though I’m supposed to be a kid

going to bed yeah well I saw I guess

I’ll just go forward and then a minute

dad knocks on the door where’s my iPhone

oh I don’t know I haven’t seen it

alright but if you’re lying to me so

clinically getting kicked out

bronchiectasis can present as COFF and

daily you go purulent sputum production

difficulty breathing also knows this bin

pleuritic chest pain and that’s glad he

didn’t catch me with the iPhone now I

get finally listened at the jock talk

podcast after dark and blur it at chest

pain that there refers to chest pain

triggered by you know inhaling and

exhaling breathing these symptoms is

talking about this supposed to be cool

and mature these symptoms this is just

kid stuff oh there was like wheezing

fever and history of chronic respiratory

disease will help guide the clinician to

the diagnosis because remember this is a

fairly uncommon

diagnosis wants other conditions such as

pneumonia or lung abscess has been ruled

out sputum analysis may be used to

further strengthen the clinical can I

just get ten more ten percent more spice

that’s it

ten percent and like I’m just on the

voice I’m just just spice it up just

please ten percent I’ll leave you oh I

will I will not interrupt the rest of

the lesson if you can spice up your

voice ten percent as my voice okay yeah

that’s it

and I just okay right radiographic

studies there specifically CT scanning

may then be used to confirm your

diagnosis further laboratory studies may

be used to treat the underlying

infection breath here it’s generally to

treat the underlying respiratory disease

and in acute exacerbations like you just

ran a marathon giving IV antibiotics

hunker down elevators aggressive

physiotherapy and supplemental nutrition

recommended measures are cessation did

that did that work do we feel like yeah

our numbers are off the charts

and you’re tracking these numbers now

yes yeah live okay we’re up to three Wow

all right Cameron do we have any

sponsors today we absolutely do dr.

London

I’m very excited about this sponsor this

this is my favorite sponsor that we’ve

ever had

oh wow this is a very very special

sponsor this is a new a brand new dating

site it’s so new there’s only 35 people

on it so far and that’s that’s makes it

your favorite yeah a few people it’s

that not that not the amount of people

that makes it my favorite it’s more the

concept okay because the concept you

know this is a very special episode of

the Javadoc podcast it’s the after-dark

episode yeah no I remember you saying

that earlier right because it’s June

which is the time of year when you start

thinking about like goblins and ghosts I

feel like that’s more of an October

thing like end of October even I mean

June

you know June you’ve got like the beach

and there’s all those ghosts on the

beach is that is that a thing cuz I feel

like like all the creepy goofy the

goblins that like all of that you know

the I guess we’re your friend you like

the after dark it’s a spooky thing

that’s all really a Halloween type of no

I think it’s like mostly like a beach

related thing yes playing like

volleyball and everyone’s like going

surfing and hanging out and there’s like

all these ghosts around you know we’re

talking about yes you know explain maybe

the Apple or maybe this product will

help me understand well it’s fine I mean

it’s not gonna help you understand at

all okay cuz it’s so fun if you don’t

get it then you don’t get it but this

app is appealing to a very specific

group and it’s actually a big big part

of our listenership is it this is a

dating app specifically for mediums

it’s called medium Meetup okay and to

clarify this isn’t like the size of

clothing they wear

mm I actually don’t know that okay

because I haven’t asked the clothing

size of our of the people on the side

okay but the this is for people whose

profession is a medium people who who

speak to the dead people who who can

access the spiritual realm right and and

speak to people who have passed and

fortune tellers psychics so it seems

like okay so this is specifically for

mediums to meet other mediums yes and I

guess that that would be a big thing for

them to have in common okay and one of

the one of the coolest things about this

new dating site is what would you guess

the the URL of this site would be medium

meetups dot-com no okay

medium meetups app.com medium meetups

you’re already wrong cuz it’s not a URL

at all okay it’s a state of mind because

these are mediums right they can they

can access the spiritual realm that can

speak to people on the other side but

they also can communicate without

speaking sure just like I was doing

earlier to you when I was describing the

after dark after dark concept and

because I wasn’t um is it I feel like

you’re confusing the term psychic with

medium for one so you’re you weren’t a

medium yeah you also weren’t a psychic

you couldn’t because a psychic that

that’s the classic idea where it’s

someone you can push you know thoughts

or feelings or whatever into someone

else’s mind or as a medium is like you

said communicating with a dad unless you

think that one of us is dead then that I

can’t guarantee that on either of our

parts okay

okay so anyway so they these these

mediums you know communicate they use

the app

there’s no app they use that there’s no

website they use their powers to

communicate with each other and then say

hey we should go to like I mean do you

like Domino’s or a Pizza Hut

well I’ve been always raised with Pizza

Hut so I guess that’s what I prefer but

you know it does really bother me as

long as it’s not Papa John’s he’s like

well actually I like Papa John’s I would

say that’s maybe my favorite why do they

what do they need medium meetup at all

it sounds like they this is just how

they communicate anyway basically what

it does is it a do you pay for the

service and it gives you a secret code

so then in their spiritual world or

wherever you know you’re here in all

these different voices they’re able to

just Zone in on the secret code yeah

that’s someone else using the site and

it’s not a site nope so is there one

person who’s just one medium who is

creating this code and pushing that

thought out there’s a dead person do it

that’s what I’m just to get the code you

do have to download an app okay so

there’s one part that’s that’s an actual

physical thing when it’s like a series

of apps okay because you have to

download the medium store first the

medium Play Store that allows you to

access all the apps in the store and

then from there you’ve got to download

the medium meetup code generating app

and then you just use that app yeah so

it’s really just – okay what it sounds

then it gives you it generates a code

and then you just think about that code

really hard and then other people start

popping up on your little grater or

whatever yeah okay well admittedly I you

know I’m would not I’m not I wouldn’t

claim to be a medium so I can’t really

speak to how this technology would

affect a medium so with that in mind I

guess we can just be thankful that they

chose to sponsor through us because I

guess maybe some of our listeners are

mediums and this is a great way to yeah

to reach

I have to think a huge part of our

listenership is mediums yeah the

primarily children yeah okay yeah well

you know that right sixth sense yeah

yeah I guess that he seemed like more of

an exception maybe but maybe that’s just

normal

yeah once again I don’t know enough

about this to speak to it okay yeah no

that’s no one was questioning that okay

London all right well I guess people

might not believe in ghosts but they at

least believe in your incompetence okay

well okay anything else on the ad copy

for medium meetups it says to not look

up the CX CEO it says don’t Google him

okay I Sartorialist his name has been

blacked out so I came out but it says

like don’t look into the company don’t

investigate it too much don’t think

about it too hard just now all the apps

that’s a huge letters okay so that’s an

okay okay well toy listeners please you

know follow that it sounds like you

wouldn’t need to look it up too

if you’re medium I’m sure you’re already

maybe tertiary like have some awareness

of this app so um thank you for the to

our sponsor

[Music]

all right Cameron you said that we have

a with two guests today is that right

that is right dr. London – wine – okay –

one are you counting down so you wanna

guess okay it’s exciting it is well

hello there my name is dr. Lennon

smith.com and this is our producer

Cameron and who are you

hi London good to see you my name is

Cherie Walker and I am a colleague of

London’s and I brought along my twin

sister hi hello there what’s your what’s

your name twin sister I’m summer

yeah London invited me to a party but I

guess that’s just his way of finally

getting me on the podcast yeah London

whoa

you invited them to a party well okay I

can explain

okay so okay well for one thing Cameron

yes sir here he had told me that he had

booked a guest for tonight yeah and that

the guest was maybe someone who I

thought was an unsavory sort I told you

that in confidence

yeah well they need to kept just kept

describing what they had done yeah like

how you picked him up they were

hitchhiker and sure you had driven with

them for a while they’d convinced you to

let them drive you had started giving

them there was a good reason for that

which which was well China was

skateboarding you wanted to go

skateboarding was like I was I was like

I was in the back seat the seats fold

down so there’s a lot of room back there

and you thought let’s go skateboarding

well yeah you have to like cuz you’re

still in the car yeah but you have to

like maybe bend down so your head’s not

hitting the ceiling yes

the ceiling of the car yeah that but

this hitchhiker convinced you to switch

seats so that you could go skateboarding

in the back because you hadn’t talked

about this before about all the room you

had back there I feel like he talked you

into this idea yeah I’ve never thought

about it before

I didn’t even own a skateboard oh so you

guys had to anyway

so there’s this man long story short you

don’t have a car anymore

yeah well isn’t it but I have it I have

two skateboards yeah so so I think I one

car for two you know one vehicle for two

vehicles you kept insisting that he’s

good for it and he’ll be on the podcast

tonight to prove everything norm one

fine but this it just didn’t seem like

someone that I would want to provide

medical education which is what this

podcast is about yep so that’s why we

brought in these these guests sure but

why did you okay and so the reason I

why’d you lie and say it was a party you

said that you’ve talked for 35 minutes

now uh-huh and you didn’t explain you

didn’t know question at all so whenever

my colleague dr. Shari Walker said that

she didn’t have anything do tonight

uh-huh I said LuAnn let me see how I

worded this because I it may have been

slightly deceptive in the wording but it

was something to the effect of like she

said I don’t even I don’t have any

parties to go to and I said something

like oh you know what’s a party what was

the kind of stuff I do one this

particular I was just so she brought me

because I’m the life of the party

usually okay she said

this party is gonna need more life than

anyone could ever give and so even

before you guys knew that there was no

party you went in assuming it was gonna

be a terrible party like you knew it was

gonna be dead before he even left the

house well I I get it I would if I if

this was if this was the guy who was

inviting me to a party I would feel the

exact same way

London is actually a very fun person he

takes his job seriously but he’s the

least fun thing I can imagine yes but I

mean he’s you know a fun person I mean I

don’t know you but I know one is a fun

person

no he tricked you into a party that

doesn’t exist so London has been trying

inviting me on this podcast for a long

time and I continually tell him no and

so finally he said well let’s just hang

out you know to come over tonight we’ll

have fun whatever and so so what makes

dr. London fun is that he tricked you

into doing something that you don’t want

to do yeah well now I am not sure if I

think he’s fun anymore I’m with you

Cameron okay well it was so easy to win

them over yeah really my favorite now

but anyway we could still talk a little

bit I don’t like these chips yeah I’m so

those chips yes there’s no chips in the

studio oh they’re stale I mean I don’t

know I well if you dug them out again

these are the other ones I brought yeah

they’re all any chip you find in here

besides maybe a computer chip is going

to be something you brought it and even

the computer chip is a maybe what makes

you the life of the party you said

you’re the life of the party you’re

brought in to fix party emergencies what

do you what does that mean what do you

do I’m just

got a bubbly personality and I’m always

seeing the bright side of things and I

always can just turn things around like

my sister gets really upset every day

and like I have to pull her out of her

sadness but I just do it by just telling

her like be happy and is that I mean

does that work well I do get down a lot

because my job is you know mentally

taxing however yeah my sister brings me

up when I’m down

what would what’s your job I’m a

psychologist Wow well it’s yeah it’s

nice to hear so this is something that

we don’t always you’re so you’re I mean

what she said she was a cycle August no

okay and sorry for Cameron he’s not

familiar with the terminology a

psychologist so because I’ve always

figured that these log ist’s these

people who they cut down these trees and

they they turn them into logs like you’d

have to be psycho to do that his mother

nature yeah well and so in this case I

think psychologist is actually a

reference to the study of the mind mmm

so the mind of this type of psycho who

would do something like that cut down a

tree turn it into a log barks root beer

I don’t like a and W again there’s no

Ruby R in this studio at all before you

guys showed up if there’s a hand W root

beer I wouldn’t you would have had to

have brought it it just doesn’t barks is

so it’s got a little bit of a bite where

W is too smooth that’s why I just can’t

no I I mean I I I feel you yes

okay well I’m sorry to interrupt and

that you know that this course I’m sure

is important to you at the moment but I

want to get back to something that’s

that Sheri was saying about how she

finds relief from the stress of her work

and

just because clinicians often will will

become very stressed and sometimes it is

hard to find a way to take a break and

for our listeners this could be really

important for the clinicians who listen

to learn how to de-stress and so you say

that a share you say that summer here

your twin sister helps you to de-stress

yeah she really you know she’s just a

hippity-hop happy person as we always

say so talking to her really helps me

just sort of remember what’s important

and who I care about people say that

just being around me it’s like inhaling

rainbows and unicorns and just my

natural passion and the just the joy

that I use just kind of infects people

but I am wondering where’s the bathroom

well okay and so it’s a it’s out of the

studio one is out of order at the moment

but if you just go outside and then you

hang a right and you walk for a few

blows it’s not a right anymore oh they

think the right into a left yeah okay so

there was a 7/11 there so now you’re

gonna okay you’re gonna have to guess

pull you turn you’re gonna walk around

and there’s well at this hour okay and I

would say behind the dumpster but that

also has moved wool but it’s all it’s

moved vertically like it’s higher in the

sky yeah off the ground so that it’s in

the same position yeah it’s just like on

earth you’re kind of yeah the longitude

and latitude position of the dumpster is

the same yeah off the ground

topographical map you’re gonna have

issues so I just said there you’re gonna

just have to kind of rest what it passed

oh nice like into your clothing

through me yeah onto your chairs oh

these are really absorbent chairs so

thank you I’d love to hear like you guys

interact with each other like you’re

talking to us but you’re talking about

how important you are to each other I

mean it sounds like summer you you

really cheer up chery chery you sort of

a rock for summer because sometimes I

know I can get stressed even in my

normal conversations with people like I

can you know if you don’t talk about

things correctly then maybe it’s it’ll

make stress worse so how do you guys

yeah interactions I’ll just look at her

I’ll see she’s spiraling she’s in a

mental loop and I’ll just say as Corry’s

called your mom when I was born tell her

a little joke like that

what what what dr. London what was that

well it sounded like she said yeah maybe

she said some little silly goofy kind of

you know whatever nonsense yeah just

make like a funny noise though you’re

doing I told her a joke well it’s not

really a joke right like you just went

like blah blah blah kind of a joke small

cope without oh yeah see this thing is

what’s concerning me what’s happening

here what’s going on what didn’t you ask

to see us interact to figure out how we

kind of cheer each other up and build

each other up but you cheer each other

up through just these like nonsense

noises sounds maybe to an untrained ear

it sounds like nonsense but when you

have

you’ve been speaking this way for you

know 25 years snacks

it’s like English oh so this is like a

language between you two it’s a language

that all identical twins no yes the

language specifically just for people

who are identical twins so it’s it’s not

exclusive to you two as being twins it’s

any identical twins well honey the same

language yes so like if I brought in

like one of the Sprouse twins they would

they would think that joke was just as

funny oh yeah

well unless they have a poor sense of

humor I would think yeah I guess that’s

true they could just be unfunny guys

also Chinese twins don’t speak the same

language yeah their language sounds a

little bit different but it’s hard to

understand their dialect

they’re dirty yeah different dural X so

what I mean can we is there is there any

like translation we can get to maybe

understand that joke yeah what was that

joke a little better does it translate

to English or no we can’t say it’s

identical twin joke only was it about us

mm-hmm

no we’re having such a great fun time at

this party

nope okay I really have to stress again

this isn’t a party you guys brought all

the chips all the dreams I do not like

any of these chips the disco ball not

making like no it wasn’t talking about

your noses and I wasn’t talking about

relieve okay who I was so worried

someone’s gonna talk about my little

nose about your little nose okay well

it’s not about my little nose so they

I’m good Oh God about your giant lips

either it’s okay I mean as long as it’s

not about my giant lips then I’m good

I’m happy these are all good things and

it’s not about your urine-soaked couches

in your studio I was worried about that

I’m feeling like of course it isn’t

because he didn’t say that much you each

said a little phrase it sounded like so

I mean most at least the language I’m

familiar with they’d take more you know

it takes more time to say that much to

convey that much meaning more words well

small much but I still don’t understand

why they’re on the podcast I okay so

this is going back to the how do people

who are in high stress environments how

do they distress and how do they you

know find their way to get back to

helping people every day after you go

home from the clinic or from work

wherever how do you get back on your

feet and you know be ready to stay

mentally healthy emotionally ready and

they answer that is have a twin with a

specific twin language is I also do

acupuncture it’s not a specific twin

language it’s the twin language the

universal twin language except for

outside of certain parts of Asia okay

well so is that in your opinion is that

the the entire way to de-stress is that

everything that does the trick I also do

acupuncture okay just like classic

acupuncture just got little needles you

poke them in the back we don’t use

needles we use birthday candles that and

forgive me if I’m wrong on this but that

doesn’t sound like it meets the

definition of acupuncture you sharpen

the candles until and then poke them in

no we just stick the candles and like

you would a needle well you say in like

you would a needle but needles have a

sharpened

edge and so they they can be inserted

whereas wax candles can not like they

have a blunt edge middle it wouldn’t be

able to go in like that every year of

ears nose throat doctors yes yeah ents

yeah

candles fit in there we fit about

sixteen birthday candles in her nostrils

Wow

oh you’re saying just in open or okay

cuz I should clarify so acupuncture that

will those needles will they’ll put

those needles in your skin directly not

into well that’s the acupuncture you’re

familiar with she does sound like that

is coming from a non twin we do have to

accept that this is a world we’re not

familiar with dr. London unless you have

a twin running around not not to my

knowledge I guess what I thought mine

cannot run at all so you you have a twin

Cameron well I had a twin did you okay

so this brings up a question yeah so you

couldn’t understand their language

earlier no is this because your twin

died making you the only my twin died in

utero and I absorbed it that’s why I

have the that’s why I have a fourth knee

instead of the normal three like most

people right okay well sherry summer do

you have an explanation for how Cameron

despite having had a twin that to the

womb yeah that passed away in your utero

he’s an idiot my twin was not an idiot

nope

he provided me with my fourth knee what

kind of an idiot would do that I okay

just so you’re saying that maybe he’d

maybe Cameron is exaggerating some of

his past I don’t know but I have known

Cameron for what 20 minutes now and I

know he is an idiot

yes and I’ve known Cameron for 25 years

now and I know he’s an idiot because she

meet at idiots Anonymous that’s supposed

to be anonymous by the way there are so

many people there at this point it’s

like if everyone is there how are we all

anonymous you know my sponsor is gonna

be so pissed

so I’m your sponsor yeah if you’re gonna

grill me later

wait I’m sorry so summer and Cameron

yeah well especially I guess Cameron

you’ve been going to this to a support

group for yeah I am idiots I’ve got my

12 year chip

which summer mentioned that we’ve known

each other for 25 years

that’s because 13 years in I had a

relapse are you sure you’re not having a

relapse today I don’t think so my

sponsor would tell me I think you’re

okay

when you say relapse and when you say

idiots anonymous I just want to clarify

so you go in there and you because this

is all supposed to remain confidential

and anonymous I feel like it’s unethical

for you to even try to get more

information about baby can we just talk

more hypothetically about it instead of

you personally because I am curious

about this because let’s say let’s say

for me let’s say if I become if I

understand correctly I become aware of

the fact that I’m an idiot

which you need to start taking a look in

the mirror absolutely and yes if I were

to come to that realization which you

wouldn’t you like the self-awareness

right so I would go to the support group

ia

because I know you’ll go on you know

Friday Saturday nights and like also at

various odd hours of the day to the

support like I’ve seen you go somewhere

yeah and you won’t say where you’re

saying like oh I have to meet up with

so-and-so and said this is well because

most the time I don’t remember where I’m

going and I don’t remember where it just

was I guess that does answer a lot of

the follow-up questions okay so I guess

I’m just aware now of a support group

that maybe has a I don’t know 10 step

program doesn’t have a 10-step program

is way more steps than that way more

steps than that and are you saying that

because you’ve been through all the

steps I don’t I’m not sure there’s you

just have trouble counting them well

that’s a whole other issue I know that

I’m somewhere in the mid 300s and I

don’t know what the end point is okay

the end point isn’t it just not being an

idiot that I mean this is this is like

12 years this is the the treasure chest

at the end of the rainbow like oh yeah

kind of what dreams are made chasing

after I don’t know what that is or what

that goal is or what it is but or if

we’ll ever arrive at that goal I mean

that’s what keeps us chasing I’m sorry

we went on that tangent it’s just this

is a whole organization I didn’t know

about but okay so I guess our takeaway

today maybe if we feel like sort of

winding things up is the way that you

de-stress is spending time with a family

member who speaks in a way that’s very

personal to you would that be a way that

we could make this more broad in general

for our listeners yeah and I drink

yeah drinking is a big key yeah okay

yeah yeah when we start speaking that

language it’s over a couple of drinks

yeah I mean we drink all the time every

day okay so when you were asking for

like Pepsi you’re looking for a mixer

I’m just looking for anything that will

cheer us up you know got it okay any

kind of really yeah mm-hmm don’t have to

just be rude okay so so you’re saying

that maybe the the what you were

presenting initially was just your

strong relationship really with alcohol

your coping mechanism is just alcoholism

no for which I would say there is I

don’t know if you’ve heard of Alcoholics

Anonymous nope and I think they’re I

think there’s a rule about not being and

I think you have to choose which

Anonymous group you’re in

I think if you’re in one if you’re an ia

you can’t be an a a yeah and IA has the

sickest guitar riffs when we’re coming

in it’s like there’s all these people on

stage and there’s fog machine wants open

bar exactly and it’s like people are

just going crazy on their guitars and

it’s just cool it’s a fun time like I

would never want to leave ia

I’m just saying that I’m not an idiot

and I know not an alcoholic

nope but I am a doctor okay

well it’s you know the we all have to

try to you know look at ourselves and

try to find a balance in life sometimes

we can give into these things that

provide temporary relief but it’s

important to bear in mind that those

things can become excessive and harmful

to us if we don’t you know find the

right balance so as long as we’re all

trying to follow down I told the same

thing to all of my patients London and

that is great advice Thanks

and doctor London it just kind of sounds

like being judgmental about the like fun

drinking stuff and stuff like that

when I know for a fact you take drugs

every single day in the form of a cup of

coffee isn’t that right doctor London

yeah I mean is that know what it is yeah

coffee is technically a drug oh the

words of an addict dr. London sounds

like you need to go to ca yes yeah okay

and those are you know great advice I

don’t I don’t think I’m know abusing it

so much as meeting what yes you have it

every day it’s a societal norm not only

does he have it every day but if he

hasn’t had it he’ll say who don’t talk

to me until I’ve had my coffee

that’s addict speak okay well that that

is in part because or if he’s a little

tired that day or maybe a little like

not all there he’d be like oh sorry I

haven’t had my coffee yet

that’s addict speak well sorry to tell

you on the the former one when I say

don’t talk to me till I’ve had my coffee

cameran is usually actively getting in

my way to to reach it and like yelling

in my face yeah he’s trying to stop you

from your addiction

have it have you never seen someone

really passionately trying to save your

life like when my sister summer used to

probably have to say Cameron

please don’t be an idiot today I’m used

to I mean still do I mean know okay well

I guess that’s a that’s a good way to

end things here I feel like we’ve

learned a lot about each other

I’m sorry I’ve learned a lot about you

guys I guess I haven’t told too much of

my own things well we work together

London but it’s nice come to your party

thank you once again for coming

you only have laser disks don’t you have

blu-ray or no those are mine but in any

case thank you to Cherie Walker for

being on the show today for coming to my

party whoa yeah thank you for dr. Linda

for tricking these women into being on

the podcast yes yeah after dark podcasts

yeah that’s kind of a little I really

hope this didn’t make someone feel like

an idiot being tricked like that you

want to get sued and thank you summer

for being on the show as well yeah and I

mean thanks for not really supplying any

good snacks or good drinks or I mean I’m

sitting on a urine soaked couch

I mean thanks for this party you know

thanks yeah you’re welcome thank you

Oh needed to get out of the house all

right thank you – Cameron our producer

mmm thank you – to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

I am wondering

[Music]

[Music]

Cass

[Music]

and my name is dr. London smith.com this

has been the jock doc podcast

[Music]

[Music]

you feel a creeping sensation as it

inches closer and a shiver snakes its

way up your spine you avoided intake of

breath because of the assurance that if

you did inhale the rotting corpses of

lesser monsters that had last been

trapped in the gaping maws of this

brutish creature but then travel up your

nose and into your mind your soul its

sniffs closer and licks your nose and

then begins to purr after another pause

you decide to let your guard down just a

little bit in order to pet the kitten

the purring intensifies your pupils

dilate and you get rekt by the cruel

euphoria brought about by this creature

most foul speaking of euphoric

experiences don’t forget to leave a

five-star review of the Jock Doc

podcast and would you describe your

interactions with curse creatures of

darkness and while you’re at it go ahead

and share the Jock doc podcast with a

friend or foe you can send them a link

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them our handy website JockDocPodcast.com

and don’t forget to take a peek at

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Jock doc podcast thanks for

listening

Hi kids you’re about to listen to a comedy

podcast that means that none of this is

medical advice if you need medical

advice or medical care please contact your

doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast featuring

dr. London it’s a hard jock life out

there my guys stay woke introducing your

host doctor London Smith hello and

welcome to the jock doc podcast where we

discussed fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring

I’m your host dr. London smith.com I’d

like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we’ve received some feedback

about the excessive amount of technical

medical terms that I’ve been using such

as coronary reperfusion therapy and the

dog says woof so I will try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron

[Music]

and steamed dr. London okay do you mean

angry or like steamed warm and wet warm

and wet okay

and I don’t know what to do about it I

keep looking to the medical community

for answers and no one is helping me out

I’ve called my podiatrist I’ve called my

dietitian I’ve called my optometrist no

one and this is this is me trying to

trust your kind during during a time

where a lot of people turning their

backs on your kind yes well I so I’ve

mentioned to you and this unfortunately

isn’t really a pill you can take but

just go inside you know where there’s

air conditioning no I don’t want to like

I know you just want pills too but but

this is just anyway so so Cameron this

is our producer Cameron he is so

dedicated to making sure that our

podcast stays relevant that when he

heard about people trying to get a

bikini bod

he began gluing bikinis together to

quote save a few bucks by doing it

myself Wow

so so Cameron are you trying to build a

physical body form oh no no you

misunderstood sir I was I’m trying to do

my own bikini mods okay modification

modifications to bikinis so yes what you

are seeing is bikinis glued together but

that wasn’t to create any form of a body

that is a new form of bikini and I

haven’t come up with a name for it yet

but it’s 13 bikinis just sort of glued

together indiscriminately yes which I

think I’m just gonna call it that

because I’m trying to be transparent

about all this you know what I mean I’m

just be upfront and just say you know

instead of coming up with some fancy

name like it’s the Tri Keaney or

whatever I’m just like hey this is 13

bikinis and they’re glued together

there wasn’t any you know organization

the glue it’s just kind of loose gorilla

glue and a lot of it hasn’t dried okay

so already $5

are you expecting people to wear it I

don’t care what they do if once they buy

if anyone can do whatever they want with

it

so like another bikini modification

would be you know how bikinis usually

have like those straps on the back yeah

to tie together yeah but what if those

straps were made out of some sort of a

pasta that you can then cook later when

you’re done with your bikini Wow

well you know being that you’ll usually

you know bikini is swimwear and people

will usually have it in the water and

stuff so I feel like that would actually

you know the exposure to the elements

could because you’re saying sell it more

as you’re the food that’s being cooked

like it might be good for people with

really really hot pools or I guess a hot

type that way is on that about because

of the steaming that you’ve been

complaining about like I think these are

all accident but think about it you’re

wearing your pasta bikini in the hot tub

you get a little hungry

easy yeah and I you know maybe there is

a room for that I just I guess I feel

like you want to hear another was it

okay this one’s called bikini with a gun

do you want to know what it is is it

precisely what it sounds like

absolutely again I’m upfront and I’m

honest

like you have a bikini and then you

propose gonna touched it has one of

those sort of like springy chords you

know that you can kind of like some you

might wear around your wrist with like

digital camera or something like that

yes like a Wii Remote yes yeah and so

you just have that there that’s then

that’s a gun and you just kinda you can

kind of swing it around like the lead

singer of Taking Back Sunday does with

his microphone but it’s the gun and then

you catch it and then that’s at the

beach so that’s I mean you’d have to

assume that’s probably a shark when you

say the dad’s probably a shark you mean

the target that you’re shooting well I

mean the person was shooting and they I

would assume it would it would be

justified whatever reason they have and

what’s more justifiable what’s a more

justifiable use of a gun than shooting a

shark so you said $45 for the 13 bikinis

so we’re glued together mm-hm and for

this gun bikini how much would you

charge for that

that requires an NRA membership so the

cost is a membership mm-hmm okay they

won’t let me in and so you’ve got to be

able to get me in and then I can get you

that bad boy okay okay so this is more

of a this the larger ploy okay oh yeah I

mean everything that happens in my life

and I come up with there’s there’s a

number of different threads there’s four

or five things going on it’s like a it’s

like a season of lost you know yeah yeah

a few things going on okay well so

you’re over here focusing on you know

Kate and Sawyer doing it in the cages

whereas I’m over here on the polar bear

trying to eat thoroughly any case I

should just clarify for our listeners I

think the term bikini body is more in

reference to being in the state of

physical fitness that would allow a

bikini to look flattering that’s I think

that’s more the idea there’s also

another definition here it says a person

with this bar

he would never speak to dr. London do

not also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

you see someone that you know and they

ask you how you are you just have to say

that you’re fine when you’re not really

fine but you just can’t get into it

because they would ever understand

DJ Dylan Dylan is Josiah they would ever

understand

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

and later Cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest so do look for

that that’s right dr. Ellen I was

talking yeah I’m sorry about that I well

to be honest so was I that’s right dr.

London so look I’m really sorry for I

feel like I have a short temper today

I’m just so steamed dr. London yeah like

a clam I guess for a lobster yes or just

I mean ice you know what maybe we’ll

help us take our minds off that for the

moment maybe it’ll help you cool down is

to uh get some listener feedback so I

found this note written on my forehead

when I woke up and looked in the mirror

this morning the note reads quote these

rotten kids using oh that’s why you

reacted that way to cuz why I reacted to

having my yeah I was I wasn’t happy to

have writing because with the way like

the two-way mirror setup you don’t I

mean I can’t always tell I can only see

exactly what you’re seeing I can only

see your sort of reaction and see you

freaked out and I can’t really tell why

you know okay well I guess I’ve I’ve two

questions right off the bat but one to

clarify probably it’s because if I was

able to read this and it was a mirror

then it was backwards for you another

you’re watching me through my mirror hmm

let’s see how do I answer this in a way

that’s not gonna get me arrested are you

living in my it’s an art it’s an

installation it’s either I’ve set up an

art installation behind your behind all

of your mirrors

yes but the sets an art installation

that only you are in on during the art

dr. London you’re the art everyone all

of my fans they want to see you I’m

sorry real you you have other people

watching me there too a boss I mean

they’re not you know they’re not people

they’re their fans jock doc fans well

okay well I should you said to come up

with new ways to engage with our

listeners dr. Condon well I I guess

putting you in a Truman Show esque

constant life feed without your

knowledge was obviously what I was gonna

do so do you remember had that movie you

know ended how he he was unhappy with

that no he was really happy at the end

yeah but that’s because he escaped that

world I’m not okay with this but um any

case back to this listener feedback now

now maybe I’m getting a little steamed

the note read quote these rotten kids

using all the toilet paper in my house

back to leaves I go in my day we had to

walk uphill 13 miles to use a restroom

with toilet paper to know how good they

got it now end quote

so first of all thank you for writing in

to the jock doc podcast but okay

the Cameron did one of our fans get into

the into my house and did you allow this

did you write it what’s going on here I

didn’t I have nothing to do with this

now

to my knowledge to your to your not sure

we could I’m sure we could look at the

feeds the live feeds and see who put it

on your face but I don’t know who did it

so there’s so there’s a recording but I

have to assume it’s someone who’s not

happy with your you know your use of

toilet paper I mean since the cameras

are mostly in your bathroom obviously we

can see how much to

the paper you’re using each time you go

that seems obviously some people maybe

some you know hippie environmentalists

or whatever are gonna be concerned about

it and maybe there have been you know

some people unhappy that this is this is

quite a land across this is a huge

invasion of privacy I’m like I you know

why do you so much dr. London privacy I

use all the privacy I can squares you

use so many squares yes well yeah it’s a

collection what what are you collecting

well every trip to the restroom is a

chance to build your collection but and

this is one of those things I’m not

super eager to share with everyone

because it’s a pretty private it’s a

private collection and yet we have over

11 million viewers each and every week

okay because we have what for listeners

now total well yeah we have 11 million

viewers yeah for the live stream so you

not advert you not cross advertising

between these things

oh no I try but obviously in the live

stream they’re gonna get glimpses of the

podcast and no one is interested and so

it doesn’t say like jock talk podcasts

comm anywhere oh no we yep we say all of

that doesn’t doesn’t move the dial at

all doesn’t do anything ok well then

then I definitely would say is not

helping us so we should stop doing it

because it is a huge invasion of my

privacy

you know does that does that make sense

to you are you gonna answer the

listeners question or not I’m sorry to

answer that question because they said

they don’t I guess that that people who

use toilet paper rather than leaves they

don’t know how good they got it now or

no and it sound like a question a little

bit maybe I don’t know how good they got

it now so very good I think is how good

we have it now

thanks for listening well actually I

guess thanks for watching now for

today’s medical topic cystic fibrosis

cystic fibrosis that out of the live

stream whenever you try to talk directly

to the stream it gets filtered out yes

to what end what what purpose like how

just screw with you and now for today’s

medical topic cystic fibrosis cystic

fibrosis is an autosomal recessive

condition predominantly affecting

Caucasians

a defect in chloride channel protein

causes impaired chloride and water

transport which leads to excessively

thick viscous secretions in the

respiratory tract as well as in the

exocrine pancreas sweat glands

intestines and genitourinary tract

patients will also have some infertility

issues as well cystic fibrosis is

usually discovered through prenatal

screening or later through a sweat

chloride test and typically results in

obstructive lung disease pattern with

chronic pulmonary infections

particularly by Pseudomonas patients

will also have pancreatic insufficiency

and other GI complications treatment for

cystic fibrosis is pancreatic enzyme

replacement though also because it’s

those pancreas some of those enzymes are

used to absorb vitamins so you can want

fat soluble vitamins chest physical

therapy is important vaccinations

especially for you know influenza and

pneumococcal vaccinations treatment of

infections with antibiotics of course as

we said the Pseudomonas inhaled

recombinant human deoxyribonucleoside

that of course will break down the DNA

in the respiratory mucus that clogs the

airways yes so cystic fibrosis was it’s

traditionally considered to be a

pediatric topic however medicine has

improved so the prognosis has

accordingly improved significantly with

a median age of death now over 30 years

of age so people can

you know a significant portion of their

life before the issues overcome its so

it’s so fun and interesting just

watching your imagination work dr.

London I mean I always hear these

stories about you know Tolkien wrote all

of those languages in Lord of the Rings

and you hear the languages and like Game

of Thrones or in Chronicles of Narnia or

whatever and you’re like how do these

people come up with these crazy words

and these crazy definitions and then

just so just watching you work and make

up all this nonsense obviously you know

to us it doesn’t mean anything because

you’re just kind of making up these

crazy words and just kind of going blah

blah ABI boo boo boo but I don’t know I

just I wish I still had that childlike

imagination that you have dr. luyt and

it’s really inspiring so so Cystic

Fibrosis Cameron it it’s a real you know

clinical illness it’s not I’m not making

it up oh yes dr. Lennon it’s I know it’s

real because my father who was a space

captain on the old planet

he got fit cystic fibrosis under the the

the reign of the you know the star

monster

[Music]

and so people really suffer from so to

make light of it you know like it’s not

it’s not a fake thing that’s not some

fantasy world sci-fi thing we must

return the book of fibrosis to its

original owner okay well I guess I guess

I move on from there all right Cameron

do we have a sponsor today we absolutely

do dr. London and we actually have a

very unique and I’m just gonna say a

very special sponsor today that I’m

pretty excited about oh well that sounds

great it’s you know we’ve sometimes

we’ve struggled with you know retaining

sponsors but I’m hoping that whatever

you come across you know wherever you

whoever you’ve reached out to they’re

gonna be sticking with us and we can

kind of be you know mutually benefiting

from this well and what I love about the

this new sponsor of ours is that it’s

from a field that we’ve never seen

before we’ve seen everyone’s heard all

these ads for like you know domain hosts

and you know you know food delivery

services or stamps or whatever but this

is the first of its kind and we are

talking about a new form of time that

you can buy today on this podcast I’m

sorry a new form of a pastime do you

mean like a new are you tired

gorian calendar where it’s like March

September February are you tired of 24

hours a day 60 minutes an hour 60

seconds a minute blah blah blah blah

blah that’s the old way dr. London the

new form of time that you can learn

about for only $49.99 is a new form of

time called lunchtime that’s right

you’re thinking of wait I know about

lunchtime that’s the time of day that I

eat lunch and it would be absolutely

right but lunchtime as a time as a

concept

is a new binary form of clock I see your

well it sounds like a confusing product

way this isn’t this is a new form of

aren’t you tired of looking at the clock

and be like 922 what does that mean 431

huh

now you look at the clock and it either

says lunchtime or not lunchtime that’s

it those are the only two things you

know from here on out so so there’s only

one it simplifies everything why do we

have all these complicated mechanisms

have you ever seen inside of a clock and

how complicated that is yeah no it’s way

more simple than that we weren’t easy to

understand and maybe maybe isn’t such a

you know there’s this kind of like

difficult entry level for everyone to

just figure out but it’s actually

intuitive it’s lunchtime

it sounds like basically it either is

lunchtime or it isn’t lunchtime and that

my friend is lunchtime and this is not

they do want to stress this is not a

novelty clock like one of those clocks

that says like that at right at 5:00

p.m. it says quittin time or you know

fishing time or something like that that

is not this this is a complete a clock

just sounds more like an alarm almost

because it’s just one time of day well

it does come with a clock but it’s not

like one of those clogs it’s more like

analog or digital or ooh

I would say somewhere in between those

it’s some it’s somewhat like a.m. like

it kind of like a it’s like a laser tag

type of set and you have to wear you’ve

gotta wear like your chest and your belt

pieces all the time kind of like you do

when you’re playing laser tag and then

it’ll zap you and almost save lunch time

so that sounds like it like it more I

guess a knowing alarm but it still

sounds like an alarm it’s not an alarm

at all it’s a it’s a true Rican Sep

schewe lysing of time itself and for

49.99 not only do you get the laser tag

clock set but you also get books on

to retrain your brain to learn about

this new form of time that’s so much

simpler that’s gonna save you so much

time

it comes with training courses

it comes with video series blu-ray discs

even you could there’s even an option

for extensive surgery dr. london surgery

based on lunch time it’s taking the part

of your brain that thinks in time in in

60-second increments and changes it

towards thinking in more of a binary

simplified version it either is

lunchtime or is not lunch time well i

mean if they’re paying you know $50 and

they’re getting books and training

videos and things than that you know

that that does sound like it could be at

least new knowledge so that’s okay

that’s something and i think what’s

great about this is you know you’re

gonna end up saving so much time because

you in in normal life how much time do

you how many times a day do you think

about the damn clock you’re like about

the client 4:35 I guess it’s 25 minutes

till the end of work then I go home at

five o’clock and my commute is gonna be

45 minutes long yes maybe I can have

dinner by 6:00 if I get home and put it

on there’s my food on the pot for 15

minutes blah blah blah you know what

this new world looks like dr. London oh

hey it’s not lunch time I’m gonna go

home it’s gonna take I mean it’s

probably a lunchtimes amount of time to

get over there well then hopefully when

I get home cuz I’m pretty hungry

hopefully my clock changes to lunch time

so I can finally eat so it’s so you’re

you’re waiting at lunch times amount so

there is a a measured amount of time in

there it’s not just it anyway I it

sounds you know hopefully it sounds like

people will be getting a physical

product whenever they pay so that’s yes

they will that man is a step up from

some of our previous advertisers but

what they’re really getting is a change

in life

all right well thinking and what was the

name of lunchtime oh it’s lunchtime

alright thank you to lunchtime it’s

lunchtime alright Cameron you said that

we have a guest today we absolutely do

dr. London

alright hello there hello I’m sorry okay

well which which one of us are you

talking to real quick okay so I knew

this day would come

I should clarify a little bit here well

my name is dr. Lennon smith.com

and this is our producer Cameron jacks

Pro if I remember correctly you were say

don’t disrespect

Drex Pro it’s Drex Pro change our e XP

are oh yes okay Drex rex Pro I’m sorry I

had that misspelled in my head okay so

Drex Pro was previously on an episode as

sort of I’d want to end Cameron maybe

this is taking a step too far but I felt

like it was sort of a your take on Alexa

or you know one of those other robot

voice servant things I believe

originally I had plugged my chromecast

into my Google home into my Roku yes and

then it had it had sort of given life to

the Drex Pro and it was sort of it was

sort of my creation and it was it was my

version of Alexa but instead of Alexa

who was cold and real snarky always

telling jokes

Drex Pro would be my one true love

oh as a father okay that’s that is that

a weird way to word that yes

so directs Pro what what brings you

here today how long will come out rather

out for matter

yeah so Drex Pro I feel like if I

remember correctly so like on the

podcast you had maybe you had just

departed and kind of was you’re making

your way down the road somewhere and

then later I mean let last time I saw

you you were going to sort of find

yourself you were on sort of a journey

and I thought we’ve gotten the letter

from you how do you train I got there

after you guys and I’m throwing up how

can folks both mast then I’m throwing up

these are all my automated Google

searches that search for me every

morning when I wake up so these aren’t

active certain you’re just trying to

find out if there’s any new information

on these problems keep having their goo

I have Google Alert set up for these so

they searched every morning ah

Drex Pro I had no idea it was it was

putting this burden on you it was

driving you crazy amounts from the very

face I’m not on top I’m now on going

down to Harry orphan road and I’m a

senior and comes mouth Wow

no buns off on our bop

I’ll go bull time Obama / KJ Bob you

stand before you today as you can see I

don’t find too many parts children won’t

be magnificent balloon bobbing be

Ferengi well yeah I did I did

I want to ask a little bit about your

appearance because it’s been a while so

I couldn’t remember exactly what you

look like when you had left I don’t

remember there being so many severed

toes sort of just kind of tied to your

to your machinery

yeah and just all the the dried blood on

you I’m wondering and the human well I

you know I said human I’m not sure but

the the skin on just kind of pasted on

different parts of you could do you feel

comfortable telling us how you acquired

these parts just to clarify when you say

found they were just they were just

already on the road they were already on

the ground or you they were up and

moving around and then you you found

them

well I can respect that yes exactly

I’m I’m kind of liking this dr. London I

I’m just gonna be honest when I when I

heard for a second that I had I had a

kid I freaked out I mean like any father

would I want to say most days of the

week I get a call from you freaking out

or like some some yelling from the other

side of a mirror about you the discovery

of a new kid and you do freak out like

this every time so honestly I’m a little

bit surprised that you still freaked out

because it seems like this as well as

part of the reason I’m not freaking out

now is because I’ve kind of gotten tired

of it but at the same time I mean dr.

London have you ever just instantly

loved something nope you’ll never

understand being a father when I look at

Drex Pro I when I look at drugs proud

that I that’s attached to that other eye

that’s sort of dangling off of that

other stringy thing yeah the dangled my

heart’s kind of filled with love in fear

and I noticed Drex Pro that it looks

like you do have some still slightly

sort of flux aid I don’t know some some

moving organs Hank I guess sort of just

placed on you so I’m guessing you

recently acquired new biological I’m

confused on the logistics of this are

you can get pregnant

well I okay I didn’t want to say uterus

because I thought it was so unusual but

yeah I guess it is a uterus and I don’t

know I guess I don’t see how without a

fully functioning body with you know

blood pumping through to provide

nutrients and you know especially for

pregnancy all the you know the the

hormonal levels that have to be a

certain way what are you talking about

Drex Pro just told us she was pregnant

my robot creation my offspring just told

me that I’m about to be a grandfather

and you’re talking I don’t even know

what you’re talking about I guess I

guess first thing I should say you’re

right congratulations

Drex bro thank you well not I guess also

Cameron on becoming a grandfather why

thank you sir yeah jerks bro could you

tell us how this came about

I don’t stare from every tribe every

background shape I’m literally pops up

here now baby I’m are I’m going to be

another did so wait the

these are uterus that already have like

clone embryos in them when you say that

you went to a lab did they just freely

let you have this uterus or was there

did you yeah I’ve I’ve noticed that a

few of these biological parts that

you’ve come across do sort of have kind

of doctors name tags on them and looks

like scientists lab okay so you do

recognize it as stealing that’s good

you’re you at least have a concept of

morality alcohol can you explain like

what do you mean the they don’t expect

you to steal in the way that you steal

what does that mean all right okay still

have no cards I don’t throw things right

now pop and oh so you’re saying as

opposed to people you know it’s like

hackers stealing money from your bank

account or something like as opposed to

you’re saying you steal and I from your

computer who steals in a different kind

of way and that is using your bloody

stubs made of cat and people limbs and

why did you need so many I mean you have

nine or ten it’s impressive it gives off

sort of a doc ock vibe a lot of things

like there’s a coffee in one of them so

I guess those and you’re solving a

Sudoku and another one yes that is true

and what’s funny is usually I would

think a computer would be thinking like

tens of thousands of times faster than

us humans but it looks like Drex Pro is

kind of limited at about nine

things and I really I mean I apologize

for building you like this direction

probably I could have made you smarter I

could have built you with more mass to

allow for for greater limb space see

that I don’t know if that would have

been because I’ll do not believe her

place and when you tear down your mouth

I’m so happy

hey hey Cameron can we sidebar for a

second I want to talk to you about this

situation here

sure can I invite Drex pro yes no no

this is more for uh like oh this is more

of a host and producer conversation you

know what I mean oh okay hey Drex Pro

yeah that’s fine I’ll put the phone

let’s put the phones over here then dr.

London wants to tell me something secret

and doesn’t want you to hear so dr.

London what what do you what were you

saying okay so if from what I can tell a

Drex pro has been committing you know

murder homicide and but you’d have been

killing a lot of humans and animals yeah

don’t forget she’s just a child

so so I guess all she can’t be held

responsible for her actions right so at

this point well I don’t know if that’s

entirely true but you can be held

responsible for your actions so I would

say maybe don’t expand the power of this

child of yours you know to do more to

have a greater capacity for evil did you

see what I mean expanding the power

we’re expanding the surface area for

additional limbs and the electrical

power well do you see how that’s how

that’s problematic because the more

space for limbs the more likely that

because Drex Pro from what Josh Pro said

all they need is more space in order to

have more limbs and so they’d have to

they’ll feel obligated to kill more

people do you see that the issue here oh

I know what

is about you’re against plastic surgery

you see someone who maybe wants to go in

to get Botox or going you know maybe

wants to change their body a little bit

and it’s their own body and they’re

making their own choice and yeah maybe

they want bigger boobs or something like

that maybe they want a bigger butt did

you see that and you go patooie

no they shouldn’t have the right to

change themselves they shouldn’t have

the right to be what they want to be and

look like they want to look like but now

you’re telling that to my daughter dr.

London well okay okay can I point out a

small difference that I that I can see

no okay okay and I’m sorry to step over

your you know your reply but so plastic

surgery is should I treks pro come here

drugs bro give me a hug your hugs are so

good because of the amount of arms my

drugs

well she’s feeding here yep just just

right there go ahead I’ve never known

true happiness until this day so I guess

Drex pro can I ask you a question let’s

say let’s say father gets you all the

surface area you want and all the arms

that you want and all the memory and the

power that you want what do you what are

you gonna do with it what’s your dream

the president of DreamWorks to do oh the

world

I guess that’s cool too ah again the

president so you’re gonna be the

president of the world and Universal

Studios yes

well one of those is that a little more

realistic but yeah I mean the CEO of

Universal is not just gonna step aside

for direct spray so we’re gonna have to

look care I was gonna say dirt that you

guys that direct spray the president of

the world yes yes yes daughter yes I

will take care of you like this because

your eyes are starting a little feverish

you are panting and sweating and I don’t

think it’s just the steaming from her

you know it’s funny is that I’m sweating

and yet I’m so so cold

I’m so cold yeah I am so cold

despite all the sweat I do me and get my

forehead is burning yeah so maybe maybe

the drugs Pro will take care of me

Drex Pro told me director Pro didn’t

have to say it out loud dreck spoke told

me through the computer it’s binary code

I can only trust you I need poster

boards I need I need just like like like

like Tupperware maybe but maybe I can

tape some Tupperware okay doctor Blondin

know I Cameron you know I think we have

to shut this down right now because all

her arms are flexing like like Arnold

Schwarzenegger they all keep flexing so

much look how scary that is yeah

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh yeah you just have to sing the

entirety of fancy by Iggy Azalea

oh wait note also you can turn it off by

quoting your favorite movie okay

quoting from it or just the name the

title every time you ask a stupid

question like that direct Pro gets more

power

okay okay because I keep handing here

you go honey

[Music]

[Music]

Drex Pro didn’t turn off coast now just

as big at the house and now you just

look like a baby okay well I thought it

might work I don’t know I don’t remember

what I I’m a Cadiz date okay I think

it’s time to just wrap this up because I

don’t think

[Applause]

[Music]

Oh Oh No

hey wait a second you’re as big as a

house I mean you it looks like a

3-bedroom 2bath cannot I mean I’m about

to be evicted like I really need help

right now and it looks like you’ve got

the space I mean

Drex pro please okay this is a good time

to just just wrap things up I think so

thank you too Drex Pro for coming on the

show today I hope we you know taught you

something about cystic fibrosis I think

you too our producer Cameron for

fathering Drex Pro thank you too

[Music]

remember mind of a hundred there you

have to have a lot of raised in your

knees up move

[Music]

lastly without your mental image a human

toilet and this has been the jock doc

podcast see ya she screams at you and

you stare back blankly you slowly look

past her head and begin to take in your

surroundings but it looks as if the only

context worth remark is really the

absence of onlookers what brought you

here in the first place was it worth it

to finally get out of the house yes you

think to yourself it was worth it

finally you interrupt the woman by

saying okay normally a double

cheeseburger would not qualify as a side

order rather than an entree but I can

make an exception just this once and you

watch as the fury of the customer abates

and you take a mental rest for this

precious moment of peace in your life

speaking of moments of relief don’t

forget to leave a five-star review of

the jock doc podcast in which you

describe your most delightful customer

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it go ahead and share the jock doc

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thanks for listening

In light of recent events we want to

take the time to say that we support the

peaceful protesters as this fight for

equality and a recognition of the value

of human life continues black lives do

in fact matter regardless of station

though we are deeply troubled by current

events we ourselves turned to comedy in

order to recover after witnessing such

horrors as are now daily taking place

with widespread coverage and it is for

that reason that we decided to continue

releasing this podcast on its usual

schedule so enjoy hi kids

you are about to listen to a comedy podcast that

means that none of this is medical

advice if you need medical advice the

medical care please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London Smith why are they

using tear gas on peaceful protesters

during a pandemic introducing your host

dr. London Smith

[Applause]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but with that up

being so boring I’m your host dr. London

smith (.com) I’d like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the overuse

of technical medical terms that I’ve

been using such as mitotic

nondisjunction and timmer so I will try

to temper my terminology to a simpler

one in the future

here to help with that is our producer

Cameron hello hello dr. London how are

you I’m uh I’m relatively okay how are

you well why can’t we get down to the

nitty-gritty what’s with all the you

know the these passive-aggressive like

oh I’m doing fine I’m doing pretty okay

if it’s not even an answer what I want

the real dr. London to answer yeah well

it’s just I don’t know if you’re you’re

aware of this but today is the you know

the annual performance reviews so I’m

I’m a little antsy over a 50 second

episode 52 weeks yeah yeah but I mean

like what do you have to worry about

yeah I don’t assume anything but it’s

it’s just like for any test you get a

little you know anxiety that’s all no I

don’t yeah I’m sorry I don’t think

that’s normal for most people who take a

text yeah I mean I guess for the people

at the bottom of the totem pole or you

know the the low scores in the class

yeah I guess I could see if I was one of

those it’s hard to just imagine you know

I guess if I was one of those people

maybe I would get stressed out about a

test yes well I mean usually untested

you know I wake up and then I go to to

the doughnut shop and I’ll usually get

like a dozen kolache xand a dozen

doughnut holes assorted and then a dozen

doughnuts

and then I’ll eat that in the parking

lot with Miss Frandsen okay the home act

teacher yeah because me and her I think

we have a connection that a lot of

people wouldn’t understand and this and

that that’s not what everyday is that

with a test or how is that related oh

yeah this is test day cuz I’m just

relaxed baby I’m just hanging out and

then I go take the test a sit obviously

like everyone except for the people at

the lowest part of the class yes do you

and you actually take it you aren’t

hiring someone else or well I mean I you

know does a person who created and

design a car don’t they hire other

people to do the actual you know

hands-on work you manufacturing so huh

say you’re seeing assembly line work you

know so you study hard for a test and

then I’m saying I hire an assembly line

of people just like when you’re building

a car or building anything in a factory

so each person is responsible for one

answer on the test that way it makes it

super easy so if there’s 85 questions on

the test

I got 85 people in the classroom and

they just pass it around one of the time

and I ace it every time like most people

would okay so anyway so that’s our

producer Cameron also with this yeah

those you Cameron

also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

and later rather than having a guest I

think we’re just gonna be focusing

really on this performance review so we

can you know bring you guys the best

podcast possible yeah and I’m excited to

really dig in deep here dr. Lunney

because I think there’s been a lot of

there’s a lot of things to cover there’s

been a lot of complaints that have gone

ignored yes people are saying a lot of

different things I’ve been saying a lot

of different things and I think it’s

it’s high time we address these these

issues with this podcast I am concerned

about the the amount of feedback you’ve

personally given but but before we move

on I would like to address a bit of

listener feedback that I assume is not

from Cameron I found this note jammed

into the wooden support of my mailbox

with a large hunting knife the note

reads quote safety first driving is a

great way to test your vision much safer

than going to the optician or trying to

read something like say government

guidelines xx end quote so first of all

thank you so much for reaching out to

the jock duck podcast we love to hear

from these listeners to answer your

question I would like to clarify that

although driving an automobile could

serve in some capacity as a test of

vision the issue becomes the consequence

of failing that test so if you if a

person fails at the outpatient you know

they’ll find a treatment for you like

corrective lenses or something on the

road failure could mean you know injury

or death yeah tears running into it

chicken Express or others I’m sorry or

running into a chicken Express yeah I

mean I understand this person’s

hesitation to trust government-mandated

eye test chart

why are you why are you guys hiding all

of these crazy and creepy messages in

your eye charts I hate it I don’t like

taking those tests because every time I

walk away knowing something that I wish

I didn’t know so usually it’s just you

know kind of a random assortment of you

know letters and it’s not really a

message oh okay

yeah and it just happens to say Cameron

I know what you did I feel like this is

an example of you reading into something

that isn’t necessarily there did you

hear that I know you you pretend that it

never happened but you know what

happened I when I’m saying doctor what

is this and the doctors on his damn

phone

just texting away tweeting away was this

it was an actual physician I ran into a

chicken Express oh okay well anyway to

this listener thanks for listening and

now for today’s medical topic chronic

bronchitis chronic bronchitis like

emphysema is a chronic obstructive

pulmonary disease or COPD it is a

clinical diagnosis characterized by

chronic cough production of sputum for

at least three months per year for at

least two consecutive years so COPD is

currently the fourth leading cause of

death in the United States chronic

bronchitis is caused by excessive mucus

production that results in the narrowing

of the Airways they also have

inflammation and scarring in Airways

enlargement of mucus glands and smooth

muscle hyperplasia and all these lead to

obstruction vii happens three months out

of every two years with the with the two

months and the third years though you

said it’s chronic cough productive of a

sputum for at least three months per

year and then two months in a in a in a

third year it’s with a third month

in a in the – I’m sorry it’s alright I

should I should always state so it’s

three months in a given year and then it

has to be two consecutive years of that

happening so it’s two it’s three it’s

three weeks on the first year but no

nine or nine weeks on the second right

cuz you would split it up and then by

the third well and then you would add

the three months so right well and this

is you know your physician will will

probably do this part for you Cameron

but oh my physician is not a math guy

okay so it is chronic cough productive

of sputum for at least three months per

year for at least two consecutive years

so it’s two years in a row three months

with the third and then in the third one

three months per do of two months so you

do it you to do it back you do a back to

back month on the fourth year that

that’s that rolls over from the second

year yes yeah what’s the roll over on

this I don’t think there’s a there’s a

roll over situation it’s more just like

one way you could think of it is just if

you don’t so but if you so if you don’t

use the two months in the second year

you don’t you’ve lost it in the third

year as well you have to do at least and

I said I say it like you have to do but

really this is a this is an illness you

shouldn’t do this if you can help it but

three months per year for two years in a

row at least is how you should really

think about or like a rollover system

yeah I I just don’t see everyone using

this the third month in the fourth year

yeah well this is why it’s more of like

it’s up to your physician really to to

make these kind of judgments but and

again again he’s not a math guy all

right well in any case so emphysema

which is what we talked about last week

emphysema and chronic bronchitis they

often coexist but predominant chronic

bronchitis patients present as what are

termed blue bloaters they tend to be

overweight and cyanotic which is a term

for when the skin is blue or purple and

this is secondary to chronic hypoxemia

and increased carbon dioxide in the

bloodstream the most important

intervention is chronic bronchitis is

smoking cessation smoking cessation

prolongs the survival rate and oxygen

therapy has been shown to improve

survival and quality of life in patients

with both COPD and chronic hypoxemia so

so the smoking sensation it improves my

would you say invincibility and quality

of life okay no I should clarify it’s

the word is cessation as in you don’t

it’s not a sense it not a sensation used

it’s quitting smoking no is what I’m

trying to say no I mean there’s a

there’s a pretty good sensation while

smoking all right well so the argument

here is that actually it made you know

provide you a good feeling in the moment

but long-term it can be damaging

so other treatments include

bronchodilators like anticholinergic

drugs and beta-2 agonists and in acute

exacerbations you can consider steroids

and antibiotics symptoms and severity

will change treatment approaches and

lung resection or transplant could be

potential options for certain cases but

yeah quitting smoking is really the the

best way to and so this and so the

smoking sensation you said you know it

temporarily is you know might feel

pretty good but it’s gonna hurt you in

the long run that’s kind of like eating

a whole boar in the moment yeah it feels

good it feels smart like you want it I’m

not sure why you’re gonna pay for that

later

yes have you have you got a for that

later if you eat the whole boar whoa is

this this is a problem you’ve run into

like enough

to know that it’s a bad habit to get a

tummyache after eating the whole boar

yeah why I mean I just assume it’s a lot

of meat okay cuz the way you say it you

make it sound like you know like oh I’ve

I’ve done that but I’ve been down that

road I’ve had that habit don’t do it oh

so I can’t just use basic human common

sense and logic to figure that out okay

so you haven’t know that eating an

entire animals worth of miso you haven’t

done that’s probably gonna give you a

tummy ache you this is the scientific

method dr. London I thought you of all

people would appreciate this I’m sorry I

didn’t know that you were stating a

hypothesis I thought you were you know

just telling me about a dining

experience you had okay okay

okay just I just wanted to make sure of

it okay we can move on from there then

all right Cameron do we have a sponsor

today we do dr. London

[Music]

I’m really really really excited about

this this is as you know this is sort of

the the 52nd episode which means we’ve

been doing this for about a year now

yeah so I mean that’s a year’s worth of

episodes a year’s worth of listeners a

year’s worth of you know merch and

products and advertisers and it’s a

year’s worth of raising money for our

show well I yeah it seems like because

you have a history of kind of you know

like we’ll get sponsors but then you

seem to kind of chase them away or and I

know I’m a bit of a troublemaker and

sometimes I don’t know the logistics or

the Excel sheets or whatever the

powerpoints of every single little

business ii thing but i’m very very very

excited to tell you that just a few days

ago we raised our one millionth dollar

for the podcast

oh really yeah it turns out one of those

past advertisers and I don’t know which

one ended up being so successful and

because they had given me a share of

something we got the check in the mail

this is real this is 100% real Wow and

and you also don’t know which I feel

like it whichever gotta be Billy’s

bunghole sauce right yes I’m I mean I

guess I don’t know but I saw the movie

theaters the other day I was at the am

scene you could put it on your popcorn

okay it sounds like I’m sorry you were

to the movie theaters yeah just for the

popcorn right okay I get okay all right

well um okay so I guess if we have

though this funding we can start with

this new really educating more Wiggly we

can do advertising we could start well

the real dream of this podcast to to

fund medical missionary work yeah yeah

absolutely and that all of those things

we you know they all have to get to

those things we got to take a big first

step and you know you definitely have to

spend money to make money which is why

today’s advertiser is our biggest

advertiser yet and I’ve spent all of our

1 million dollars getting this

advertiser it’s night I’m sorry I’m

sorry you spent that mail the entire all

the million dollars yeah getting the

advertiser and we got him we got Nike

dr. Londe I so so you because once again

you don’t advertise okay advertisers are

supposed to pay you to run an

advertisement because it gives exposure

for their product okay and so oh no I

haven’t I already paid them yes yes so

so what I’m saying is that if they if

they’re trying to run an

add you know they’re basing it on what

we have to give them is a number of

listeners ok people who will hear their

product mmm ok

and so we expose those listeners to

words about that product sure and that

is a service that they pay us to receive

and so it’s an exchange well no your

because you know you’re thinking of a

volunteer and this is more of a

advertiser and so the money’s already

been I mean it’s been it’s been cashed

they accepted it and so now we can can

finally finally what I’ve been always

dreaming of advertising Nike thank you

got the shoes they’ve got the checkmark

Michael Jordan they’ve got like track

suits or maybe like a hoodie do you get

a nike hoodie anytime you want probably

sweat pants probably like sweat hands

yes you probably this one happen just

the logo even without the word Nike

which is kind of cool it’s kind of

minimalist when you do stuff like that

because there’s such a break big brand

that the you know we really don’t even

have to advertise them at all every

single person who could possibly listen

to this knows what it is yeah well okay

and so you can just do something I’m

like whatever you want so I that’s just

not how it works someone is probably

maybe like goggles like swimming goggles

so we didn’t get any about like clean

money right like so Nike Nike didn’t

give us give us anything not a dime no

oh no they did give us like a thank you

for the million yes they and they

acknowledged that we paid to advertise

yeah they said thanks appreciate it and

you’re sure it was the the Nike

corporation yeah I mean I definitely

gave it to a guy with like a checkmark

in a bag

okay like you know those you know

there’s like those sacks that have a

dollar sign on it this had the Nike

checkmark yeah a lot of a lot of bags

have that particular logo on it because

yeah because Nike is a international

corporation with a lot of employees yes

so I was so lucky to meet this guy and

so I guess my point is like someone like

you know he’d just leave me the bottom

of the cleats the soccer cleats yeah so

one of us could just do it justice just

clean it easily been wearing the same

bag and it would have meant anything

just cleat it okay

all right well I guess I guess we’ll

thank you too can you say you say just

clean it I think they would appreciate

if the host said it and you think that

that’s their new slogan as well well

it’s sort of like a pitch right because

it’s like just do it but we’re talking

about cleats

so maybe just do it you use that for

everything else like the the tennis

shoes and the the hoodies and beanies

and all that stuff but then for the

cleats

you have just cleat it so you it’s your

sort of it’s sort of a subsidiary really

of Nike okay

just just clean it yes

[Music]

all right we’re good all right so

Cameron you’ve been bringing up you know

and I also did the fact that we have a

performance review today just the annual

performance review I want to make sure

that we’re doing right by our listeners

yeah bringing the kind of educational

content that we want I want to see I

don’t know should we should we be going

a little bit deeper with the medical

content you know like sometimes I skip

over a little bit of the treatment

options and I don’t always explain you

know the pharmacology and you know how

that would affect the pathophysiology of

a given you know treatment plan so with

that in mind I wanted to make sure that

we kind of talked things out made sure

that we’re on the same page and this is

gonna be this is gonna be hopefully dr.

London if you agree it’s sort of a

free-flowing conversation between you

and me and the listeners yes the

listeners aren’t listening to it live

but in a way there have their part of

the conversation with us and they can

you they can contact us and with their

own weather with their own views as well

yeah yeah and you know this is why we

you know we read the listener feedback

we try to keep in touch you want to you

know any Corrections that need to come

in that sort of thing we mean it it’s

gonna be a free-flowing conversation

between you and me and the listeners and

my buddy PD I’m sorry PD PD he’s gonna

be the new executive producer on the

show huh I guess I I was unaware of so

you’re the producer mm-hmm and PD is the

executive producer mm-hmm okay I I II

won’t be around much but he I mean he’s

gonna help chime in sometimes I might

get a text message that’s kind of okay I

what he’s thinking

so he’s is he listening live then he’s

definitely listening to something I

wouldn’t tell cuz he’s singing along I

can see on the feed okay all right well

um I guess

hello PD thank you for joining us um

alright yes we can you I think he’s

listening to I mean I think it’s face

down by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus I

can’t really read lips but it just has

that energy it is you’re reading the

lips of him singing along with a song

yeah it’s got to be face down okay and

it couldn’t just on face down in the

dirt it couldn’t just be that he’s

trying to talk to us and he’s muted no I

mean the head banging wouldn’t wouldn’t

make any sense with that but let’s get

to these great ladies and gentlemen the

jock duck annual performance review so

okay so we have this sort of formality

we have to go through Cameron I hope you

okay yeah

what’s my name you said cam in Cameron

did I say kamon yeah I think so but

that’s fine I wanted to make sure I

wasn’t saying my name wrong this whole

time it would be so embarrassing

yeah this whole time I thought my name

was Cameron but it was really cam in and

so I was like hold onö yeah okay

and just for the listeners this this

performance review was given to me by

like these papers were given to me by

Cameron or I guess maybe by PD the

executive producer I don’t know who it

came from originally but I just well

we’ll just kind of review this all right

so what have your strengths been in the

last 52 episodes your strengths bin the

one strengths been in the last 52

episodes and that’s directed towards the

listener okay yep Cameron do you want to

start and again this is a free-flowing

conversation

so I want to hear from the listener okay

what are our listeners strengths that

they’ve learned over the last 52

episodes okay good

go so give me time to think so we’re

just gonna wait for the listeners

response mmm just gonna sit here just

gonna wait there’s the fuck are the

phones I mean are they unplugged no I

think because you had to sell the phones

to pay for okay so I think one of the

strengths of our listeners is they’re

very good at listening mmm

not this new batch okay well I guess

just from the silence that’s what I’ve

seen yes just being quiet would be

another strength I told our listeners

over the internet over I was doing an

Instagram live video and I told our

listeners that I don’t hide any sort of

you know candies or any sort of and you

know snacks like chips or whatever I

don’t hide anything like that underneath

my dresser guess what I find in my room

three days later a listener a listener

stealing my sentence and I said no I

don’t keep my snacks under there so

they’re not I did know to say that

they’re good listeners would be sort of

a bold-faced lie I think there’s the

main strength of our listener over the

last 52 episodes is that he has gained I

think some sort of an antidote to the

poisons that I’ve been using on it okay

I guess that does bring to us to another

point um in the annual performance

review so Cameron you have managed to

narrow down the fact that what we only

have one listener left now and it is

that one you’re referring to yes well

it’s consolidation I’ve consolidated

because there was a lot of repetitive

listeners there was a lot of listeners

where it’s like they were basically like

the same type of person so we’ve now

consolidated it down to just one

in person sort of to make the process a

lot more efficient yeah so does that

make it more efficient because it seems

like it just makes us lose listeners

lose you know potential sponsorship

opportunities potential chances to you

know increase the revenue for the

podcast in order to once again hopefully

pay for medical supplies for those in

need

do you see do you see how that’s an

issue we’ve saved so much on bandwidth

because we’ve we’ve we’ve been able to

you know remove the redundancies and

consolidate everything really streamline

everything this is a this is this is the

internet doctor London that’s it’s all

about you know the fast-paced 90s okay

well I’m sorry the 90s okay well just

refer our listeners this isn’t really so

much a medical fact but the the current

year is actually 2020 it’s not we’re no

longer in the 1990s so just I just want

to make that clarification real quick

but Cameron and I want to admit I do

also want to mention to sort of make an

announcement to our listener if you I

haven’t been able to make it to the

store at all lately

and so if you could maybe pick me up

maybe like a carton of eggs I’m just a

thing of whole milk maybe like horizon

organic whole milk just a hit like a

half gallon and then just a loaf of

bread and that way I can make um you

know french toast yes all right well

Cameron are you ready to read off you

know your portion uh yeah sure dr.

London well I mean I have a I have a

question here that was definitely direct

I believe it’s directed towards you this

comes from a listener okay great so they

say

dr. London why are you so stinky I feel

like I can smell your stink through the

podcast I didn’t know that was a feature

I’ve looked through all of my phone

settings and I’ve tried to turn the

stinky smell off but that doesn’t seem

to be a setting could you explain the

medical technology for why this is

happening

PD well thank you PD for your question

Cameron oh no that was an anonymous

listening okay and do you ever know is

that an ominous listener our executive

producer by any chance no way didn’t

know okay so I guess one possibility to

explain that would be the the with app

which has been advertised on our podcast

this is one of our sponsored episodes

which was supposed to be medical you

know new a new medical technology but

I’m you know I thought that we kind of

dismissed that decided not to go with it

so I’m not sure Cameron is there any do

you know if there’s any update from oh

that is stanky um I mean I would say I

did hear from a listener recently that

the podcast was was given off a real bad

stinky stain okay so this is this is the

one it’s the one in the letter O it’s

the same I’d heard about that earlier

today I got just a couple minutes ago

yeah no I remember okay well I I guess

I’ll try to bathe more maybe I’ll wear

wear more Cologne I’m not sure really I

guess if it’s in your Cologne it’s kind

of an old school thing outside of like

special events I would say just maybe

maybe maybe switch up your deodorant or

your body wash whatever you’re using

well and as an alternative idea and this

isn’t you know I will try to work on

that personal hygiene but maybe

if you take the phone if you take your

phone with you to the restroom

and to other places where it can acquire

a smell you know cell phones are

notorious for gathering germs so maybe

try to wipe yours down you know and when

I say wipe down I do mean with you know

sometimes some antibacterial product and

that might actually you know assist in

your problem and maybe your phone rather

than my personal stink if that if that

makes sense given that I smell you

pretty frequently I’m gonna say it

absolutely does not make any sense okay

and no and that’s that’s fine do you

have a do you have anything in the

performance review now for me yeah okay

so here okay and this this is to Cameron

exactly how many sponsors lives have you

ended okay that that actually does seem

kind of harsh because that seems really

harsh I take care of our sponsors I mean

you did leave a lot of them in a

submarine correct yeah because I take

care of our sponsors well but they did

they passed away because of that

whenever you went up to get out right I

have no idea I just know I took care of

them you get it oh so you mean do I need

to take care of you too dr. London when

you say you took care of you you are

answering the question aren’t you

okay all right I’m saying maybe this

this question asked her needs to be

taken care of and maybe the little

doctor who’s reading it huh yeah yes I’m

sorry did okay so I do have some

feedback here it does say dr. London

that it doesn’t it sounds like you’re

not sitting up straight we actually got

that from a number of our listeners okay

and so I think that’s something that

maybe we can improve on is your posture

that’s fair and so okay one of the

things I was hoping we could do is so

here turn around a little bit yeah well

your backs facing me okay

hmm and then can you hand me that the

the big thing with the handle with the

big metal thing on the end my hands are

full can i foot it to you yeah you can’t

you can just put it to me that’s fine

yeah here yeah it’s like a big metal

piece it’s got a flat head and then

there’s like a like a handle mm-hmm

cheese for like for hitting and nails

you know and so I’m just gonna take a

hammer so I’m just gonna you’re the one

passing it to me with your foot

yeah no I guess I’d so I’m go ahead face

the other direction I’m just gonna I’m

just gonna hit your back I’m gonna do it

30 times okay actually so I’m gonna go

ahead and foot that right back okay okay

that please yeah okay okay all right so

now now sit up straight well so I’m just

gonna lay down here for now all right

listeners can hear that though okay I

really call you the the bad posture

imposter okay well maybe you know rather

than us try to recount Steph Curry said

that on TV like a couple weeks ago

that’s how that’s how crazy

nicknames cotton so maybe rather than

you know trying to remember what we’ve

done we can just replay some old clips

like what would that make sense for you

I guess it would make sense if it if

it’s in line with some of our feedback

here yeah so just I mean some of the

ones that really reinforce let’s say

that that latest one my posture alright

so let’s listen to that clip just hold

still I’m going to ruin your posture

it’s for no your neck health

okay so that was a fun clip wow it was a

great memory like like maybe my poor

posture is you know a consequence of

maybe some of your impact on the podcast

and my person your your influence on my

person I mean okay okay and then so I I

win I’m sorry performance review it’s

more for us to just evaluate where we

are how can we improve going forward you

know it’s not really about winning Shh

okay but did what’s the the what put how

many points that I gained in that last

round okay so I don’t I don’t think

there’s a point system to it did it can

I go for a double can I request it I’m

gonna go for a double okay okay well

I’ll just all right let’s go for a

double so right here we’ve got some more

listener feedback and this this isn’t

even a listener it’s actually from our

boss Casey Anthony Casey says why didn’t

you ever play that episode I guessed it

on I was really looking forward to it

because I’m a huge fan but it never

happened okay

we can I mean do we want to play it

close enough I mean just a brief one and

I think we had a really really sticky

lesson and it just it just didn’t seem

like it filled a full episode basically

that was I was the problem with it okay

right so Cameron in a idiopathic gute

ate hypo Melania –ss hi sit down sit

down in front of the guest sit down shut

up Casey go away hold him down where did

she get that rope from alright so that

once again I am seeing a kind of a

violent pattern which Cameron I’m not

sure if you’re aware but the audio like

if there’s a visual component that

you’re trying to convey about improving

posture or or ruining it somebody it’s

the listener yeah so they can’t see it

is the problem and these are pretty but

they can tell it’s like when they say on

the radio that you can tell when

someone’s smiling or not from their

voice and their inflection I can tell

how well your posture is pretty easy Ira

Glass terrible posture Joe Rogan his

head’s on backwards you can tell that’s

why his body shaped like that okay well

I imagine it was some sort of punching

accident someone spun his head the

opposite way but that’s it’s the only

way to explain why he looks the way he

does is because his head is on yeah okay

well I feel like at this point we’re

kind of we are running in a few circles

about this this annual performance

review like I’ve I feel like maybe I’ll

just I’ll try to be maybe a little bit

more in depth with the medical lessons

does that make sense that sounds

terrible sounds awful okay well um what

are your what are your takeaways here

the medical lessons I think the medical

lessons need to be hella simplified dr.

London because right now they’re like

if you take the left ventricle if you

plug it into the right tubular system

Ettore

takes over the appendix and it’s like

why don’t you explain it in like words

that people understand like a virus is

like like it’s like this it’s like a

sled it’s like a snowman

it’s like Jack the Snowman the one

that’s alive riding a sled down a snowy

hill see I get that okay so show me –

right now just give a try at explaining

a simple medical topic simply okay yeah

so like osteoporosis okay so

osteoporosis your uh your bones are weak

and brittle and bad is that was that was

that good huh nope no I I think if you

explained it more like imagine you’re

Jack the Snowman you’ve just said it has

to be a snowman analogy I think I think

most of our audience would understand

that a lot more than the kind of vague I

don’t know what I’m picturing when

you’re talking about this stuff just

lady we are like right at the start of

summer a little bit into summer now and

it just seems like an odd metaphor to be

using okay what about a sand and band on

the beach like a sand man and he’s

sledding down like a beachy hill of

Sandy Hill on a snow on a surfboard on

like a boogie board okay well so I feel

like and that’s osteoporosis see I’m not

sure if that adequately conveys the

actual meaning what you’re the these are

you these are your medical lessons it’s

not my job right okay well

my job is to keep PD off of the computer

that’s that’s what you consider to be

your job is to keep your executive

producer off the computer that’s been

clearly defined as my my main task

location okay well um much as I

appreciate it and we we probably should

talk a little bit more about you know

even bringing on an executive producer

without mentioning it to me that seems

kind of a like an odd move sure that

should I mention should I read this this

next piece of listener feedback we can

yeah yes we could yeah okay

the the listener says what happened at

the musical episodes those are the ones

that I miss the most and I kind of have

to agree dr. Linda we haven’t done a

musical episode I feel like in a while

so good I mean we should play let’s play

an old clock all right I guess we had

our we’ve we had a lot of musical

episodes so to narrow it down I’m just

gonna have to hear it in order to know

which one we’re talking about play that

clip

butdo pepper dip dip Wow rhythm in

Toulouse I’m a patient and you’re the

doctor

but it can’t be okay well that’s a

lesson for today give me a high five say

hey yeah and that was her wow that was

nice full that was a great episode yeah

and what’s what is impressive is that

that was like all of that was written so

far ahead of time we revised it we hired

you know Symphony Orchestra sound time

we got something like the studio time

was expensive is that what you meant by

sound time no we we got we had sound

time you mean sound time Stephen Stephen

sound time mmm okay so when this is very

embarrassing because the whole time we

were working with him I thought he just

was referring to like we introduced

himself I thought it was just a

reference to we’re making sounds

at this time yeah great well no longer

my favorite episode don’t tell him that

though he’s gonna be pissed

well I’ve got a suggestion doctor in

London maybe maybe too in this episode

as a gift to our fans and because

they’ve been asking for it maybe we play

an old clip from the the last episode of

our good old friend or old third co-host

that we had on this show Johnny Johnson

yeah the episode he famously passed away

on yeah I just can’t okay I

I mean it’s still still not easy can we

play a clip yeah I don’t know about that

Johnny well maybe you should know about

okay Johnny

I just want to say what’s up Wow hey

Johnny it’s just um you know I just want

to thank you guys because you are my

best friends and I’m so happy that the

three of us host this podcast

jabba Johnny we did want to talk to you

about that because by heart I guess

because you know I kind of let you go is

Wow bye are so with that in mind there

goes Johnny Oh before he could be fired

it’s fallen over and he’s hitting the

ground did you want to do something

about this doctor about that his heart

and the guy on the ground well I know I

already fired him so that was so you

don’t okay so the the oh oh you’re right

sorry just when I’m in the zone with a

podcast I don’t even think it okay yeah

sorry so let’s then let’s we can finish

the episode and then we’ll we can help

the guy I’m is that bad

cuz that’s I’m just in the zone now

let’s just let’s just finish the episode

yeah and when you’re in the pod zone you

can’t go home that’s what I’ve always

said yeah those are some good memories

so and you were a lot cooler back then

yeah I I I don’t feel yes don’t wake up

at night about that he had to go though

right well we was all oh like fire him

yeah no he kept like you know the

listeners will sometimes prank me with

these notes he will

he would just walk up to me and stab me

so yeah he stole my son no your he said

I’m just kid’s dad now and the kid was

like I mean yeah cuz that’s how

confident he was about the move yeah

like the kid couldn’t even couldn’t even

call me dad anymore after after seeing

that that alpha move so just like well

that’s your kid now and now that that

kids an orphan

cuz you wouldn’t take him back ya know

well and he was in his early 30s yeah

but in any case I feel like this

performance of you has actually been

kind of a downer now I didn’t didn’t

think we would end you know tragedy so

and have once again about Johnny I you

know I don’t feel great about it in fact

I feel pretty bad about it but um in any

way any case going forward we’re gonna

try to you know just once again bring

the the best people viewed medically I’m

just gonna text Pete Petey is actually

here here let me get let me go I’m gonna

go get em I’m gonna let it okay one

second okay hey guys this is beanie you

might think that I look a little like

their old friend Johnny but you can tell

that I have them I have a my mustache

goes a different direction okay so your

so you just joined the team here how do

you know about Johnny

I just cuz I’m on old-time fan of the

show so obviously I knew when he was on

the show as old host but you know I’m

not Johnny trying to be PD or anything

like that I’m just a guy who’s here and

has no intention of taking revenge on

the show or the host of the show for

letting me pass away sort of I mean did

letting Johnny do that not me different

person okay cuz cuz yeah if if you were

because you do have you bears such a

resemblance to Johnny that you know it

would ease I wake up in cold sweats I’ve

gone to therapy I have nightmares about

that day and it would it would I like

I’d probably be angry but I’d also be

eased in my soul if I knew that you know

that maybe the worst had not happened

okay

I guess that’s an interesting fact about

you okay okay cool okay well once again

we could probably yeah yeah so right

like this is not

I didn’t think today we go like this but

you know everybody everybody at home all

our listeners remember chronic

bronchitis

you know don’t don’t smoke and yeah keep

keep letting giving us feedback letting

us know what’s going on

Cameron anything else from you I would

say like just like take out the amount

of bread you think you’re actually gonna

use in the next week and then freeze the

rest yes right okay and you know one

other small detail that we didn’t cover

as much but all of these and we have

stacks of these pages of listener mail

and you know listeners who have found us

in person everyone who just wanted to

let us know that DJ Dylan has been

absolutely you know just

just taking us to new levels it’s almost

to a degree that’s frustrating on my

part because of the amount of work I put

into this but so DJ Dylan you know high

praise from the listeners and they’re

pretty emphatic that zero there’s

nothing that should change about DJ

Dylan no boom nope

and detailin I got a ask can you take us

out with a little song the medical

lessons I think the medical essence need

to be you tell us simplify because right

now they’re like ladies and gentlemen

the jock doc annual performance review

[Music]

has taking us to new levels

almost to Z Krew that’s frustrating yes

I’m dr. Londonsmith.com

and this has been the jock doc podcast

you almost hear the audience chanting

your name as you stare into the bright

lights you bask in the glaring heat as

it rolls over you in waves until it

begins to envelope your mind

may your soul this is the moment that

people speak of when realities shift and

the worlds collide and this is you about

to take as big a chunk of it as you can

petted gloves adorning both hands you

reach into that oven and you grasp that

tray and you take a long and euphoric

whiff of those delicious brownies

speaking of euphoria don’t forget to

leave a five star review if the jock

dock podcast in which you describe the

details of your latest foray into the

kitchen and while you’re at it go ahead

and share the jock doc podcast with a

friend or foe you can send them a link

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them our handy website jockdocpodcast.com

and don’t forget to take a peek at our

posts on social media we are at jock

doc podcast thanks for listening

Oh hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast that that means that none

of this is medical advice if you need

medical advice or medical care contact

your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London’s submission learn

more faster with the medical mastered

introducing your host dr. London Smith

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host dr. London

smith (.com) I’d like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that I’ve been using such as

diffuse ST segment elevation and the cow

says Moo so I will try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron hi dr. London how are

we well soak your lads a lot you’re

allowed to just do your snarky little

thing but I can’t say hello and I’m

polite okay do you may do me to stop for

a second so you can say it

are you down yeah let me get ready

Alfie 5mm dr. London hello hello all

right so is that is that enough are you

good on the greeting yeah why are you

why are you slowing the podcast oh I’m

sorry so this is our producer Cameron

and Cameron is so deadly making sure

that our podcast stays relevant that

when he heard that the month of June was

coming up he began collecting June bugs

so that he would quote have enough

stashed up when June slams into this

town like a freight train

so Cameron prepped if there’s one thing

that I’m great at it’s preparing yeah so

so today is June 1st yes

so I’m not sure what you think June is

but a June is here June is now yeah it’s

a six-month of the has been sprung upon

us with without any announcement I guess

maybe not this is what I’ve been saying

for I mean at least 11 months now is

that we know that this is coming you can

deny the evidence and the science of it

all you want but we know that it’s out

there and we know that it’s about to

happen and now that it’s here we have

people saying well it was impossible to

know I mean the media was saying that

you know it could go one way or it could

go the other but it’s like if you

actually looked into the data you knew

that it was coming I’m sorry I’m just

frustrated yeah no I can I can tell and

how did the junebugs factor into this 30

June bugs for 30 days

wait 30 days has September April June

March November December January February

March April okay is that a rhyme for you

to remember all the months or is that a

run for you to remember how many days

are in the months yes I don’t remember

what its original purpose was but it I

definitely can feel when it’s right or

wrong okay so so you have 30 June bugs

and what’s your one butchered game plan

yeah one per day to do what with them to

keep them alive Oh

for the full month mmm-hmm for the full

month it’s like it’s like when you’re in

grade school and you have to take care

of an egg for a period of time to show

you how responsible you are oh if I can

do this then maybe we can actually get

through June alive okay you know

whatever you know some people have their

you know sort of lucky hat or something

and if this is how you get through this

month then that seems like a fairly

harmless oh you you think I’m doing this

for me I I’m doing this you dr. London

I’m doing it for your mom and your

children and your children’s children

I’m doing it for the earth like out of

solidarity out of saving the world you

haven’t thought this through okay we

need we need to go on I’m just getting

pissed I understand okay so also with us

is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

didn’t pose

[Music]

I’m just kidding please you haven’t

thought this through you need weave me

we need to go on I’m just getting pissed

[Music]

did you enjoy our home yeah after it

enough hot for it here hello

nice one mm-hmm yes and later Cameron

tells me that we can expect a special

guest so look forward to that that’s

right dr. London all right but before we

move on I would like to address a bit of

listener feedback I found this note

painted onto wallpaper it had been

apparently glued to my car while I was

in the hospital the note reads quote you

know she wears brown shoes in town I

knew right away she was trouble end

quote so I’d like to thank you so much

to this listener we like to hear back

from our listeners to answer your

question I did not realize that wearing

brown or any other color of shoe carried

some you know implication about a

person’s character but do we know do we

know who this is in reference to is

there I mean it’s obviously gonna be

someone at your place of work right I

mean it’s one of the nurses you interact

with are they sort of a brown shoe where

well you say that as if brown shoe

you know denotes a character trait like

it seems like this is a sort of a

Sherlock Holmes Ian clue to sort of

maybe prevent something bad happening I

mean is there is there maybe a nosey

nurse that pokes around that’s wearing

brown shoes could she be stealing meds

should could she be killing patients

I guess the shoes are not the main thing

I notice about it you know could she be

the Sherlock Holmes type and the person

giving you the clue is the bad guy

trying to trying to get you to hate this

person who’s actually the good guy and

you’re the villain you’re the stuffy

boss you’re the police chief yeah yeah

who’s trying to take their gun and badge

away

yeah I’m not I’m not sure like this it

sounds like you’re what did you do so

confess so I just found this wallpapered

to my car like I I didn’t and I’m not

sure if it’s a nurse or someone just on

the street who decided to do this but to

be honest I’m a little I’m a little

annoyed that this was done to my car but

perhaps maybe the message is that I need

to make some changes to my own shoe

styles I’m not sure

because sometimes I wear brown shoes oh

then that’s a yeah you’re the you’re the

villain in the story again

confess what did you do all right like

it sounds man I told you when I sign

this contract to be partners in this

thing with you I asked where are the

skeletons in your closet I need to know

if there’s something that’s gonna take

you down that’s gonna end up taking me

down man and I wasn’t wearing is this

time oh the more you mention it the more

sick I become well to that listener

thanks for listening all right Cameron

do we have a sponsor today we absolutely

do dr. London we I’m really really

excited about this sponsor you know we

haven’t actually had a sponsor in a

while of dr. London and that that is on

my bad situation and for that you know

when we started my quarantine tips like

a while back and I did the whole

submarine thing the submarine warranting

to escape the virus yes

well I invited a lot of our sponsors and

funders on that submarine and most of

them drowned so my bad and it’s whatever

you know it’s in the past

you know well during this and it so much

happened during this pandemic and you

know lost lives and it’s it is really

really sad we have to be thankful that

we’re still here you know so did you so

you lured our and so we have a new

sponsor today that I’m so excited about

it is my favorite dr. London what’s your

favorite uh snack while you’re watching

TV yes popcorn probably sure sure but

let’s say all the popcorns out what you

got which is what you’re snacking on and

this is okay so maybe this is a chance

to bring in some sponsors that I like so

I like lime flaming hot cheetos okay

getting close what we call ooh yeah

getting so much closer what what do you

what what are you describing there it’s

like chips or absolutely

chips everyone loves chips there’s so

many different flavors and varieties and

you you would think that there’s a chip

for every single person out there right

because there’s so many different styles

but what if I told you unfortunately

that not everyone is able to eat potato

chips until now so like people who don’t

have teeth or is that relying till now I

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maybe people who have lost some teeth

maybe people who just want to take a

damn break dr. London we’re all working

so hard in this fast-paced world what if

I don’t want to sit around and chew so

give me that wet soggy oily nasty but

still little crunchy the wettest Moshi

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absolutely we’ve got soaked sour cream

and onion I mean these are some little

erred

mushiya strips I’ve ever had dr. London

and I said the amount of time I’ve saved

by not chewing so much do you know what

I’ve been able to do with that time I

kind of I’m scared to ask I bought a new

shoe oh so a single shoe mm-hmm I didn’t

have time for both of them okay so

that’s so for our listeners whenever you

put a cracker in your mouth normally you

actually have you know amylase in your

mouth that will it’s an enzyme and your

saliva to go interesting if we were

talking about crackers but unfortunately

we’re not talking about chips dr. London

okay well so chips it applies to that is

what about mushy crisp so so your mouth

actually can naturally do this without

you doing any work at all

the machining like making it mushy have

you ever tried to swallow a handful of

chips without doing anything at all it

hurts like hell I if you put enough in

your mouth at once then it can overwhelm

sure or okay and there are people who

have you know deficiencies and their

saliva who have you know certain

conditions want to deny them potato

chips that’s what it’s like you’re like

these people who can’t produce the

proper amount of saliva they should

never be able to eat a chip does the gas

tank okay so so your mark so anyway

sorry I shouldn’t be so negative towards

these sponsors so this has come in a

bottle why do I spend so much time

chewing my food what the hell is going

on who is preparing my jaw strength what

for what who was making me do this

for what purpose dr. London are you

because you’ve gotten on about Big

Pharma but you’ve it sounds like you’re

leading up to big chip as if that I’m no

I’m talking about big chip and putt

we’re not big Chu oh that’s a normal

rate of all different food styles its

chewing in general they’re trying to

fatten up our jaws and strengthen our

teeths for some nefarious reason that I

don’t know and I think imagine because

it must be really weird one question I

have on this so you get what kind of

packaging does it come in because what

I’m imagining is you like you pick up a

chip and it’s just kind of drooping so

how does it stay soggy mushy whatever

it’s it’s just it’s in some Tupperware

so just something like loose Tupperware

and there’s just like a like kind of a

glob of of chips for zhiting in there of

kind of mushy soggy chips and they’re

soggy from water or from my company’s

secret

that’s the secret dr. London okay you’re

you’re winking a lot as if saliva was

right I know I don’t know the secret

you just grit okay that’s a lot of

winking yeah just be happy that we have

a sponsor who hasn’t drowned yeah and

once again

can we just be thankful for that yeah

but I really do want to get to the

bottom of that cuz that sounds pretty

criminal in nature check out our sponsor

mushy crisp let me have my soft teeth

[Music]

and now for today’s medical topic

emphysema emphysema is a type of chronic

obstructive pulmonary disease consisting

of a permanent enlargement of air spaces

distal to terminal bronchioles due to

destruction of alveolar walls in other

words the alveoli which are the very

small bubble like parts in your lungs

that allow for the exchange of gases

like oxygen and carbon dioxide

many of these alveoli are overstretched

so they don’t function properly this can

happen because of smoking which

primarily affects the upper lung zones

but it can also be due to either an

increase in the activity of protease

called elastase or a deficiency in an

anti protease called alpha-1 antitrypsin

activity and lungs

you see elastase is normally released

from neutrophils and macrophages and

digests human lung but it is inhibited

by alpha 1-antitrypsin and if you smoke

tobacco it worsens it worsens all of

those issues all those issues and it

increases increased oxidative stress on

the lung by free radical production free

radical production okay are you okay so

well I guess it’s nice to have an echo

as opposed to an interruption well I’m

your height man okay this is kind of a

newt you said we need to get our podcast

a little more hyped up what’s gonna do

that more than a hype man like at a like

a hip hop show someone who they kind of

you know they kind of repeat the words

that the rapper saying they fill in the

gaps they they kind of function as

background vocals as well

okay I think you may have misinterpreted

I mean it is nice the role you’re taking

but whatever you say that I said huh you

know we need to be more hyped up I think

I was trying to say liven up and it was

in reference to all the sponsors that

you know died due to your actions so

that that’s really I wanted to liven up

future sponsors by not you know causing

their deaths

but in any case thank you for yeah

echoing so both of those are great goals

though

– okay so God – not cause the death of

our sponsors as well as you know

supporting the medical lesson as opposed

to opposing it right right right

okay so clinically patients with

emphysema will typically present with

what are known as pink puppies puffers

so this means that they can breathe but

it takes a lot of accessory muscle

effort muscle effort so they are

stereotypically thin people who exhale

through pursed lips in order to keep

their alveoli open

yeah they thin as hell y’all diagnosis

is through pulmonary function testing

spirometry obstruction is evident

primarily based on a decreased fev1 or

forced expiratory volume in one second

so basically they take a deep breath and

they let it out as fast as they can into

a spa

that’s right and it measures how much

air that is that is increase lung

capacity

give me that lung capacity so chest

x-ray will likely not be too useful but

it may demonstrate hyperinflation and it

can be used to rule out pneumonia

pneumonia or non poncho ducks and of

course patients should be tested for

alpha 1-antitrypsin deficiency

specifically there are many treatments

but smoking cessation smoking is one of

them for smoking cessation

looking’s the treatment so stopping

treatment is smoking so you want to stop

smoking because that’s the most

important intervene or many treatments

I’m looking at it right now there are

many treatments especially smoking so

quitting smoking can drastically change

the prognosis prolonging the survival

rate as as can home oxygen therapy other

therapies or treatments include

bronchodilators like anticholinergic

drugs and beta-2 agonists and in acute

exacerbations consider steroids and

antibiotics yep quitting smoking can

drastically prolong the prognosis

increasing the survival rate by smoking

more other treatments include

masturbation okay no okay this is not

that type of so symptoms and severity

will change treatment approaches I’m

sorry acute masturbation’s yes okay

exacerbations that was no word there

it’s not it’s exacerbations but symptoms

and severity will change treatment

approaches and lung resection or

transplant could be potential options

for certain cases it could be but who

knows well usually that the physician

and the patient will discuss it it’s

sort of well I mean the way it’s written

here it says like well it could be I

mean like a peanut butter jelly sandwich

could be the cure here but who knows I

love that attitude it’s being open to

every

well it’s it’s not open to every it’s

just saying that this is one treatment

should the other ones fail and if you

know especially if they have say the

genetic disease that the enzyme

deficiency in any case yeah so so

emphysema

the biggest takeaway there would be like

it just quit smoking is huge and

actually with regard to most diseases

quitting smoking can really help you but

who knows

Cameron you said that we have a guest

today we absolutely do dr. London and in

fact we have a very special guest today

and I would argue maybe objectively our

most special guests okay hello there as

well what can I give a proper

introduction please yeah sorry I

sometimes you don’t have one we’ll begin

that’s when I don’t know the person’s

name because they’ve just walked in I

can’t know every guest name that’s not

my job right we have with us today the

one in the only

the Tooth Fairy hey – oh hi Tooth Fairy

hey how are you how are you I’m great

nice to see you guys nice to see you as

well

sure uh hi that okay hello tooth fairy

um this is our producer Cameron my name

is dr. London Smith okay yeah you’re on

the jock tech podcast what I get what

brings you on the podcast today well

I’ve got I did I did change things up

during the pandemic and so I’m just kind

of here to lay things all out and say

things are not gonna go back to how they

were it was a lot of before that it was

a lot of trifling through

kids beds looking for their teeth no I’m

done doing that okay I have heard some

about this there’s been a lot of talk in

the news lately about like the new

normal and things aren’t gonna go back

to exactly how they were before there’s

gonna be adjustments to social norms is

that what I mean is that what you’re

sort of running into here yeah this is

what I’m saying I’m not going I’m done

I’m sick and tired of trifling throw

your kids beds looking further – any

time the little teeth know in the dark –

do you

I’ve always wondered this I have to ask

are you rummaging around like in the

dark knocking stuff over or do you have

some sort of like night-vision goggles

or do you just have good cat-like

eyesight oh no I’m definitely okay

waiting to get it out in the open as you

can see I don’t necessarily look like

what you guys have imagined I’m probably

much bigger yes

I’m not a lot of people they kind of

focus on the wings aspect and they kind

of think they go crazy they think fairy

you know no it’s really more like three

foot troll with fairy sized Williams yes

it only lets me hover a couple

centimeters off the ground right and

they’re more moth-like than fairy law

correct like shedding and dusty right

and I wouldn’t even say

bigger than I expected but more like

deeper as in like your your love beer

your death yeah yeah your length of

death is way longer than I would expect

any not just to ferry but any living

thing would be able to have that your

lumps are larger than any I had imagined

the tooth fairy I love be knobby these

are think yes okay get it out the way I

know this is the usual Joe and I got

what what do people what are your

friends call you can I just call you to

Theo

well really my friends this tooth fairy

my name is actually Bartholomew and so

my friends truly my friends call me

smoking bars yes oh great

and so I gotta I was about to say

smoking bars

I mean you smell terrible well I was in

the parking lot of smokin I’ve got a

couple bags amount now that I know your

full name the smell I totally right yeah

exactly yeah um so what I know what else

what else what else you got let’s just

get out the way well no I mean I want to

hear more about like your I mean you’ve

you’re talking about how much of a

struggle it is to just rummage around

and I assume as a frontline worker like

yourself you there’s probably been a lot

of concern lately with with diseases

going around and yeah I mean it’s kind

of gross to be to be like looking all

for all these teeth and stuff I mean do

you want to talk more about that well

yeah I mean we’re just switching

permanently to porch drop-off yes and

pickup okay I’m not going inside the

house anymore

everybody got time for this I’m not no

it’s better for you guys to know what I

really look like and who I really am so

you’ll stop having me come into your

kids rooms at night okay I’ve done with

it used to be working my advantage to

you preserve them to think oh it’s a

magical fairy let yes of course you can

come in my room if you’re a fairy but

I’m done with that so you guys just need

to see me for who I really am and

smoking bars and I need your kids teeth

okay leave them on the porch

and that’s another smoking thing I’m not

paying people trying to pay 20 bucks

further no they’re rather be 20 teeth in

there if I’m paying 20 bucks okay no you

have a pretty strict Rea there one tooth

one dollar and that’s generous in my

opinion but that’s that’s really

generous yeah I think I got a quarter

with ya I try to compromise pair come on

okay one one question I have and it’s

it’s just that I can’t help but see

their relation to the medical topic for

today

smoking birth you seem to vote for one

thing your nickname I’m guessing comes

from the fact that you you smoke

frequently yeah and I’ve lost all my

teeth do do it yeah so and I see that

you um like you you’re using your

accessory muscles to like you seem like

you’re struggling to breathe and I can’t

help but think that maybe and like as a

medical professional I would like to go

ahead and advise you to maybe consider

quitting smoking okay thanks for the

advice

anyways so we’re doing porch drop off

and it’s only a dollar tooth alright and

I’ve only I’ve almost got a full set so

I’m really only needing about nine or

ten so y’all are gonna need to think of

something else to do when your kids lose

their teeth because I’m not picking them

up anymore

I’ve almost got my full set of didn’t

wait wait wait wait what so this entire

time I mean how long have you been doing

this you’ve been doing this for decades

right right I so you’ve only been able

to acquire how many teeth does a person

have like thirty well I want them to fit

right you know if I’m gonna have them

for the rest of my life I want them to

look a certain way you know I’m not here

for I’m looking for quality over

quantity here I’m getting quantity and

I’m looking for quality so oh so you’ve

you’ve received more than the 32 teeth

that like an adult has right I assume

you’ve probably received like billions

right and I mean I’ve got my separate

businesses you know I celled certain

vendors and things like that but

it’s neither here nor there what I’m

really here to just say is um why it

would bring that up if you if it’s

neither here that sounds very very much

here and there so so your purpose is to

come on the show is to talk about your

struggling business and the missus

pandemic and no not really

I’m business is fine kids are gonna be

losing their teeth no matter what yes

grown a virus or not I’m here to say I’m

not rummaging through your kids beds

anymore

we’re switching permanently to porch

pick up and not only that but it’s only

going to be a dollar or two okay so well

I’m I guess adaptions to business is

what I should have said rather than

struggles but um you seem what is the

purpose of the teeth because you said

you got a you’re trying to get a full

set is the purpose of gathering these

teeth to just give yourself a full set

of teeth yes I used to kind of hang

around the bar scene and kind of when

people would get into bar fights I’d

rumba dried quick get their tooth you

know and uh I realize that adult teeth

you know I’m not really the full size of

an adult so I don’t it looked weird it

looked really strange so you couldn’t

get a full set in there you would have

you would only be able to feel like a

cuddle and cameron’s emphatically again

here because he also goes to bar fights

to collect whatever falls on the ground

it’s a great business I mean it’s a sad

hustle for sure yeah I mean my that’s my

Etsy shop is bar stuff and it’s stuff

that I’ve acquired from bar fights but I

want to know you were talking about what

you have you what do you have vendors yo

who are that where the teeth going these

billions and billions of teeth that

you’re acquiring that you’re not using I

mean I just have lots of resources of

people that need children stays I don’t

you know I don’t really need to go into

all the details of all those things I

just these are just regularly asked

question should you you know could you

go into a little detail just the tiniest

bit could you give us just a little more

of maybe a clue of who one of these

people are and I should I should clarify

the reason we are asking is because 32

teeth of the presumably you know

hundreds thousands millions maybe

billions of teeth you’ve collected

surely you’ve had enough for those sets

of teeth and your primary you know

vocation in this career of yours I

assume would have to be dealing with the

vendors rather than trying to fill your

mouth with a proper set of teeth well

I’ve got a lot of different business

ventures really I mean one thing I do

with the teeth is as you can see I have

made armor and I’ve made weapons out of

them I’ve made a home I’ve made barred

for my animals um oh so you were saying

you were saying business ventures so

you’re keeping all of these teeth but to

build your own stuff is what you’re

saying

I don’t I mean you cannot even imagine

the amount of teeth that I deal with

just on an hourly basis yeah it’s a

problem so I’ve found ways to funnel

funnel out all the teeth and even if I

can’t use them for my personal gain but

trust me I have used them for my

personal gain okay I have really built

you could say a kingdom yeah so the the

the like tooth fairy Kingdom part of

your back story is true yes but it’s

more of like a bunker it’s more of like

a preparing for the apocalypse

Topol okay so what’s usually depicted is

yeah maybe like a castle in the sky or

something like that yeah I know it’s

underground tunnel systems this is more

like a this is more like a basement like

an old-timey basement cellar and you

need the weapons for I guess mole people

the – yeah I mean just the times that

we’re in I mean if you haven’t realised

if you have it wised up to the times

we’re in

you’ve got another thing coming so

you’re you’re a huge gun advocate as

well

you know I’ll admit it I leave my

neighbors I’m not letting my kids die

I’m just gonna be honest my superpowers

being honest yeah I have extrapolated

this out and I won’t have to for a few

years cuz I got food and stuff but I’m

literally looking at my neighbors now

and going and I’m ready to hang them up

good him and skin him and chop them up

you know what I’m ready

my daughters aren’t starving to death

I’ll eat my neighbors right I will eat

your ass so I thought your superpower

was you know night vision maybe like

Cameron had said or like your whole

having wings being a fairy creature I

thought that was more your superpower

I’ve got plenty superpowers so is the

entire point like this dream of

acquiring a full set of teeth is it

entirely based around being able to eat

your neighbors not entirely but if

things get to where I think they I’ve

extrapolated it out but they’re going I

need them so this I feel like this makes

a lot more sense to me dr. London don’t

you agree cuz I was also wondering like

how could you have not found 32 perfect

teeth yet yeah if you’re searching

specifically for teeth that can eat a

human yeah I mean you’re gonna be picky

I would imagine and just teeth usually

aren’t designed for that as far as I’ve

seen like maybe in dinosaurs or

something but yeah I mean so I do I

totally know where the tooth fairy

a case Moke and Barth is coming from

like I I get it

I gotta ask real quick another another

cliche of the tooth fairy is like she

has or he/she whatever has a sort of a

wand with like a tooth on the end and

that I don’t know it’s a magic wand or

something like that do you have

something similar to that that would be

a tooth machete machete made out of

holes is this it is this like a um is a

blade that’s been

is this rounded teeth rounded together

into a blade okay okay

and I see that you one of your growths

you’ve actually done I well I guess what

is an artistic representation because

it’s it’s got you know the the eyes and

the mouth foreign with teeth

you know I guess poked into the growth

as well as its own little tooth oh I’m

Marilyn oh hi I’m Marilyn hello Marilyn

who is this well I mean I know it’s

Marilyn but who is this I’m smoking

Bart’s wife

I missed tooth lice that lives on this

head oh thank you for noticing me yeah

okay so that so the teeth were but

that’s okay okay so that’s another may I

talked to smoking Barth again real quick

sorry yeah hey Barth commute so can you

you built yourself a tooth wife yes I

keep her with me at all times yes how

long into into your your Tooth Fairy

journey did you decide that this was

your goal to build a companion this kind

of seems I mean this seems a little odd

to me right I mean dr. London this is

yeah this is oh well I guess my thought

is actually if it is able to sorry if it

was at Maryland is able to speak then

potentially yes then potentially the

growth like it took on a life of its own

I think this is beyond smoking Barth’s

control just physiologically it that’s

what I can see adding up here that’s

valid that’s valid Marilyn can we ask

are you on board with this eating your

neighbors situation only what ever smoke

in bars interests yeah she’s whatever I

eat we both eat through my mouth so

yeah oh so there’s a there’s sort of a

symbiosis going on here the tooth is

part of your even though it’s on top of

your head as part of your body that’s

what marriage is it’s a symbiosis of two

individuals coming together saying here

are my strengths here are my weaknesses

we’re coming together as one it’s a

symbiosis in this case your your

strengths would be your um your honesty

as well as your night vision shetty as

well as your ability to fly my mountain

of teeth my many businesses my massive

wealth guess I’m the full package I’m

not worried about me are you worried

about you yes to some extent what are

you eating you know what are you eating

for dinner

you know that’s what I’m curious about a

sandwich was was my plan peasantry in

case so you’ve been you’ve been focusing

more on curbside pickup and you’re

you’re expecting this to come to the

point I guess my real question is how

are you making money businesses I funnel

the teeth through just have lots of

vendors that name children yeah I wanted

to talk a little bit more about those

vendors I know you were saying you can’t

talk about them or you don’t wanna talk

about them and sort of you pivoted

towards you know you making weapons and

and all that kind of thing but who are

you you say you have a lot of suitors

you’ve got a lot of people requesting

for these children’s teeth can we get

like a glimpse like what industry are

these people and do you know or these

just are these just like random people

who call you up and say hey give me 30

teeth I send out a truck every Wednesday

to a bone garden

oh yes some people have you know they

use them for multiple things like

potions and things like that you know

some people use them for more than you

think you know many buildings are

actually made out of crushed bonemeal

used children’s teeth I mean they’re

gonna get rid of them anyways I mean

where’s the outrage here agree and I’m

not saying we’re not we were just this

is an outrage cancel culture you’re not

gonna be canceled just because you’re

given all these teeth over to this this

bone garden which like the owner of the

bone garden has come on as a guest and

they were murdering people that appeared

but they were running a business of a

bone garden and trapping Souls we were

young we personally as podcast hosts are

not here to throw judgment I cannot

speak for our listeners but in terms of

this environment you are you know we’re

just here to learn about you I know

you’re listening audience okay this is

the Casey Anthony podcast network okay

I’m well aware yes well aware okay so

what what are things looking like going

ahead

you switched you know it’s it’s curbside

pickup only what about the families who

will not comply with that rule and

they’re not getting their dollar for

tooth nope I mean that’s all that there

is to it sorry I mean really once you

know who I really am do you want me

around your kids I come up that is a

very very valid not what your around my

children or even my pets I’m smoking a

full pack of cigarettes before I crawl

up the tunnels under your kid’s bed I

mean that’s why I get in that’s what you

want

wow you’re you’re really you’re the

reverse Santa Claus

I don’t want to get into that son of a

bitch oh there’s a beef here apparently

I’m not gonna like it

I’m not talking about it my lawyers

actually say I’m not allowed to talk

about it so we need to move okay I don’t

I don’t want to probably do you have any

issue with the Easter Bunny or any other

of your peers I would not consider the

Easter Bunny my peer okay

why Easter bunnies the Easter Bunny is

an animal duh a demonic animal right

you’re a creature with lumps and growths

and moth-like wings and you’re I mean at

least I have wings what do you have a

big nose I’m just smoking Bart really

really destroyed you there dr. London

really made you look like a moron

all right well if we can get back to ya

I want to ask about your you know you

see you’re no longer tunneling from from

underground so what’s the process now

this curbside pickup are y’all just

driving vans is this like an amazon

pickup type thing I’ll just come up to

I’ll just come up through the sewer

outside your house that’s so much easier

oh that’s so much easier oh that does

sound so much easier if you guys want to

sure you want to drop your teeth into

the sewer oh my gosh that would save me

decades seriously Oh what about flushing

their teeth I guess yeah that would work

too so I mean at the end of the day just

maybe put a little note on there your

address so I can mail you a dollar or

just don’t expect a dollar anymore I

mean well no I mean you have an

obligation here you’re acquiring you’re

profiting off of the teeth you’re not

just acquiring it but you’re you’ve

built like a huge empire around it

you’ve got it you’ve got to pay your

where the materials come from

I guess people have just been baiting me

over their head what’s needing $20 a

tooth or you

kidding me do you know how little

baggage is no the the free market

determines the price of these things if

that’s if that’s what they’re worth and

that’s what they’re worth

yes I do want to emphasize once again

smoking Bart that maybe it maybe it’s a

good time to consider quitting smoking

because with all this going around thank

you and just so that you’re aware

there’s medication well yeah this is

this elitist attitude that dr. London

always has where he says Oh cigarettes

are bad for you because I want you to be

vaping instead by my vape and it’s like

dr. London go away okay I’m not 100

years old okay if you think smoking

Barth is gonna keel over any day now

you’re wrong okay once again you look

like it’s true to look at this creature

and then to decide to give them medical

advice is the height of arrogance dr.

London I’m just way above your league

and it just makes me laugh inside give

me all your your three-dimensional

disease so long you struggle to breathe

as I guess what what’s really indicating

to me boo shut up I’m not really it’s

kind of like fish out of water situation

I’m not really from this dimension so

much so yeah I mean it is a little

tougher to breathe here but the fact

that I can be from that dimension and

here and still breathing I mean that’s

more than you could ever do so laughable

can we hear a little bit more about your

dimension that you’re from yeah the

sun’s oh maybe more interesting than

whatever you’ve talked about so yeah I

I’m just good like I the Tooth Fairy is

obviously you’re a legend here you’re

one of the most famous people in the

world yes it’s super interesting to hear

your process I’m not sure I’m super

interested in like how obsessed with

teeth you are as much as I am this

transdimensional aspect like where are

you from

I’m from the fourth dimension so we know

about that one already we’re talking

about space and time well I’m talking

about the in-between okay like in the

like in the show like the quarantine in

between oh okay so you’re saying

Cameron’s got a great soda there yeah

got great soda you don’t have to tell me

I’ve been there

I was on I was on an episode a few weeks

ago

it’s great the soda there is awesome

yeah I was born there yeah so for

listeners Cameron hid under a blanket

and drank soda and he called that the

quarantine in between he thought he’s

making a transdimensional trip mm-hmm

well from your small-minded perception

sure yeah from the type of person who

would look at a magical creature like

we’re looking at and say hey you should

stop smoking that kind of mind I’m sure

wouldn’t be able to grasp both what was

going on here I get it okay alright well

that’s I feel like we’ve covered a lot

of ground here also what’s the craziest

thing you’ve ever built out of teeth my

wife that is a good answer and can we

talk to your wife just one last time

before before we wrap things up here no

she’s asleep I’m telling you that was so

crazy she’s psychotic she’s straight up

my notic straight

telling you to put the toilet seat down

tell you to wash your hands sometimes so

I’m gonna tend to the kids and deal with

the dog I’m just like now all right well

it looks like another one of your

growths is starting to ooze something so

this seems like a good time to wrap it

up a little okay so remember curbside

pickup and you’re only getting a dollar

don’t get greedy okay and you there is

also an option to flush it down the

toilet if you do a Trask you if you

do attach your address or maybe attach

your venmo do you guys do you guys VIN

moe

no but I could mail you a $1 check that

okay right we can’t address yeah you

just attach your address all right um I

thank you to smoke and birth into your

wife Marilyn for being on the show thank

you – Cameron our producer thank you to

DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

oh really my friends my name is actually

parked all in so my friends truly my

friends call me smoking bars

[Music]

my name is dr. lemon smith.com and this

has been the jock doc podcast see ya

[Music]

moisture gathering where you sit maybe

it’s some sort of nerve problem these

things happen but the warming sensation

begins to turn cold which becomes more

and more noticeable and you start to

think that maybe it is time to check

things out so you open your eyes and

glance this side but no one on this

airplane seems to have noticed the damp

spot on your crotch this has been a very

relaxing flight so you take your cup of

water and pour it in your lap leaving

the cup tilted on its side so a spilling

will be assumed in the eyes of any

passers-by and you close your eyes again

mentally praising yourself for how very

clever you are speaking of clever don’t

forget to leave a five-star review of

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