hello and welcome to the jock podcast
featuring dr. London Smith the only
doctor who’s ever shoved my head in a
locker
I’m DJ Dylan now make some noise for
your host dr. London
hello and welcome to jock dock where we
discuss fitness and health and how to
incorporate our modern understanding of
science and medicine into our daily
lives but without it being so boring I’m
your host dr. London smith.com once
again we had some complaints from
listeners about how I need to tone it
down with the complicated terms like a
doctor hospital and washing your hands
so I will do my best to keep my medical
talk at a pace where everyone can
understand here to help with that is our
producer Cameron hi friends he he really
understands entertainment and what
people like to hear yeah so don’t be
surprised if he chimes in to keep his on
track once in a while and I do just to
give you some credit dr. London after
you had mentioned washing your hands
I’ve I’ve been doing that I don’t see
the point well okay so I have been doing
it and I just wanted to yeah thank you
some credit for that okay that’s very
good to hear Cameron basically it’s like
a waste of water but I have been doing
it well also with us is DJ doing into
hose
Cameron also tells me that we might be
expecting a special guest a little bit
later so stay tuned for that
now nothing gets me more excited than
hearing from our listeners as much as I
am here to teach I’m also here to learn
so I appreciate the feedback
one listener said quote my dad could
beat up your dad end quote
first of all thank you so much for your
input though I’m not sure that I
understand the question I’m guessing
this is somehow related to the name of
the show being jock doc sort of implying
an aggressive mentality but involving my
dad instead of me so I’m not sure you’re
who your dad is or what his build is but
since my dad is not typically prone to
picking fights I don’t think that will
ever know the answer to I guess that
sort of question of whose dad would win
but thank you so much for taking the
time to ask and to think about my family
now for a tale from the ER we had a
patient come
with a chief complaint of fever when I
asked him about it he said that he had a
low fever the day before but was feeling
better now I was confused by this at
first I certainly wouldn’t go to the ER
unless something was really going on but
if a low fever was improving that
doesn’t make sense to me
but later on we found out that he asked
for an excuse to skip work the next day
that it was a mystery solved
now on to our main topic Cameron I know
that you will want to interject here but
we can’t get derailed so much I need to
explain that the medical topic for the
day so I understand I understand that
maybe kind of here and hearing the words
from a commoner like me might throw you
off I’m not using fancy words I’m not
coming from an Ivy League education so I
understand how that might be a little
frustrating for you so I’m just gonna
take a little bit of a step back well
although I can I’m gonna go and involve
you in it though okay if you wouldn’t
mind I just said I was gonna take a step
back okay I guess I’m back in now okay
just one question for you what do you
think is the largest organ in the body
oh it’s my toe okay well so a lot of
people might say the heart or the liver
maybe you haven’t seen my toe
okay well the answer is actually the
integumentary system is also known as
the skin the the ten of them have kind
of become one big toe not well not my
big toe wait all ten of the ten of them
have kind of mushed
are your feet together to kind of mushed
on top of each other into one large toe
I guess I should maybe that’s a little
bit more of a medical term into a large
toe okay this this might mostly nail
this might be an example of the D
railing I was talking about earlier you
said what was my largest organ and I’m
telling you right now that’s fair so the
answer is actually the skin you might
not think of the skin as an organ but it
really is
your body is actually made up of lots of
tiny cells and when a group of cells has
a common function they form what is
known as tissue and when a group of
tissues have a larger function in common
that’s called an organ thing so what’s
the larger I mean what’s the larger
motive of my cells my 10 cells on my
feet
morphine together they seem to have one
purpose that they’re working together
towards it could could medically do you
think you could tell me what’s going on
there I’m I’m not sure that doesn’t
sound like a an issue that I hear of
often I yeah nah I’m I’m not sure that I
can answer someone Frank
I don’t want your doctor today get
called a freak told I can’t talk called
told I can’t do anything all right ten
organs I’ve formed into a super organ
that’s bigger than my skin okay well
your skin has a lot of functions not
just sort of as a covering not to be a
color for you or not just to make
appearances your skin has a lot of
functions like how it’s your first your
body’s first line of defense against
sickness it also regulates your body
temperature for instance when it gets
hot outside you will sweat so that you
can be cooled off when the sweat
evaporates when it’s cold outside you
may have noticed how your fingers
sometimes get pale and cold and that’s
that the blood vessels in your hands
constricting in order to redirect flow
to make sure that you know the core of
your body stays warm even though that
can make your fingers colder that
process is actually called hyperemia and
it happens because your body knows that
it’s better to lose some fingers than to
lose the whole body although of course
the losing fingers aspect wouldn’t
happen unless you’re in extreme
conditions so that’s some idea of what
the skin is for in your body and a lot
of people are surprised that it’s the
largest organ because they don’t think
of it as an organ but it very much is
because it’s I mean it’s not the largest
organ
through toes and they’ve kind of one big
toe well your your appendages aren’t
organs so an Oregon has to be like
that’s a combination of actually
multiple organs because you have your
skeletal system as well and those are in
your toes
they have bones in them anyway
so but your skin is your body’s natural
defense all right do you happen to have
any uh any sponsors today who do we have
any sponsors let me is this a sponsor
okay no that’s a that’s a box of crayons
for these sponsors that enough sponsors
for you that’s your coloring book just
me you don’t want me to talk unless I
got you know unless you’re telling me to
talk well I saw how this works no I just
you were enjoying drawing those pictures
I don’t see why you’re having a fuss
about it now all right well we can go
ahead and move on to I have well we’re
not sponsored by bird scooters but
anyone can pick those up bird scooters
yeah you know those the electronic
scooters with the app that you kind of
birds using them is that no it’s just
the the company is called bird scooter
big you know they were like all around
town and anyone can pick them up so I’ve
picked up like a shit ton of these
scooters and if you want one of these
scooters I can get it to you for 30 40
bucks thank you for the offer
I don’t but we’re not sponsored by bird
I just want to make that entirely clear
but like anyone can just pick these up
your throw in the back of your truck you
take them home no one can stop you
all right well thank you for now we’re
gonna go if you want one of these birds
cute scooters permanently just meet me
behind well it’s not behind the Denny’s
it’s like if you go into Denny’s and
then go towards the back I’ll be back
there
I’ve got a shit-ton oh oh okay well if
we don’t so if we don’t have a sponsor
at the moment then we’re gonna go ahead
and move on to did you have a guest for
us today
yes actually kind of a surprise some of
my family is here um I want to introduce
you guys the some of my family’s gonna
ask a few questions for you medical
questions okay so I want to introduce
you to my niece and my aunt hello hello
okay
so happy to be here thanks for having me
on ya know my name is London Smith dr.
London Smith what was your name Cassie
Cassie okay nice to meet you nice to
meet you as well
I’m so excited to be here this is a cool
little setup you got here oh thank you
well yeah we do what we can here okay
well um Cameron did you say you said a
nice and an aunt I’m sorry are you you
said you were the his niece is that
right okay
who’s is your aunt here as well yes okay
yeah Cassie okay well I’m not I’m not
exactly following so I’m his niece and
his aunt well I I’m not sure that I
understand um my half-brother mm-hmm had
a daughter who is Cassie we’ve been
married my mother’s brother
okay so it is actually really great to
be able who’s also a doctor Oh what type
of doctor is he he’s a psychologist
it’s actually really great to be a dual
relative being an aunt and niece I feel
like I can support Cameron in many
different ways
yeah absolutely so like say he’s needing
an aunt figure in his life you know I
can do things like lift things a hundred
times my size or like dig tunnels and
I’m sure I can communicate via scent or
sometimes I can just have like hundreds
and thousands of babies
yeah absolutely I’m not sure that
everything you’d want an ant
when he does remember of talents that
you listed I’m not sure that those don’t
sound um sort of like the usual sort of
thing that would accompany being either
an ant or a nice well you should see her
rebuild after rains yeah I wonder you
must not have any ants no III do have
ants none of them none of them can lift
you know insurmountable weights or I
feel sorry for you that you don’t have
an aunt that can support you in that way
yeah I well for one thing I will say
normally to my parents who are the sort
of the direct supporting ones might my
answer there they’re present but they’re
not um so they don’t take on the
supporting role quite so much well can
they have thousands and thousands of
larvae okay well at first what do they
do when you step on their house because
I run like mad well I go all over the
place it’s insane it’s a little bit
tough to follow larvae get him out of
there you see me pulling the eggs
what type of beings are you describing
only I only ask because you use the term
larvae which conventionally mammals like
ourselves do not lay larvae larvae in my
aunt right human also mace she’s my
half-brothers daughter well I understand
the narration I think my mom’s brother
it’s more than fill the physiological
that this no he’s a psychologist okay
it’s so talking to a wall it’s just he
does I’m just wondering if I should even
be here at this point because he can’t
get past
okay well the nice in the ants Ivy
League kind of elitist type of
doublespeak that he’s so used to he’s
never talked to a commoner well what is
he’s never talked to people who have
you know slaved away putting grain away
for only to be taken advantage of by
grasshoppers I’m sorry would you mind
what did what was that last thing you
said about grass she’s my half-brother
I’m sorry after the daughter and then
she married my mother’s brother Phil
psychologist dr. Phil dr. Phil doctor
uncle Uncle Phil I’m sorry you see the
the televised dr. Phil oh you’ve heard
of him he’s the very same one and you’re
related to him he’s on certain channels
right like okay so what let’s let’s go
ahead and um what was your question
today okay so yes I’m glad we’re getting
to this because it’s very important well
let me back up so a few years ago I was
at the gynecologist which I don’t know
if you’re familiar with that when I was
there my doctor actually noticed my skin
and he diagnosed me with Rinna’s
syndrome Ward’s which is an allergy to
cold well that’s if you’re speaking of
Raynaud’s phenomenon that’s or syndrome
that’s usually not it’s not tagline
threatened it’s not an allergy
necessarily and also usually not
life-threatening unless it’s secondary
to something else
maybe well that’s not my question I I
just wanted to start painting the
picture for you so okay a few years
later I became pregnant and I went to
the doctor and during the bloodwork they
found out that I have an autoimmune
disease that I have Hashimoto’s okay
well I’m sorry to hear that so basically
all of these things have kind of added
up and I really am kind of at the end of
my rope and I need to know I just need
some answers that a lot of doctors
haven’t been able to answer for me and
that is once and for all where do babies
come from
okay a few points there just for the
sake of our listeners Raynaud’s
phenomenon as I mentioned earlier about
the hyperemia in your skin sometimes
your hands will the blood vessels in
your hands will contract they’ll
constrict and it can in rainouts
phenomenon it’s sort of an extreme
example of reaction to cold and so what
she was describing wasn’t an allergy to
cold it was actually just it’s sort of
an overreaction to cold well do you have
it I do not have it okay then what are
you to say if it’s an allergy or not I’m
allergic to cold were you named women’s
digest 2012 coldest woman alive no I was
well she was were you on the cover with
blue and purple hands and toes no I was
hold an ice cube and it got bigger so
you know who are you I’m coming on this
show baring my soul to you asking these
questions that I’ve had my entire life
and you’re just second-guessing me
you’re telling me you know that I’m dumb
that I don’t know what I’m talking about
it’s like you don’t have it you don’t
know maybe I can field I’ve some of
these questions I know where i’m pretty
sure that you cannot go ahead but I
don’t there are just some aspects of
this that I’d like to also address but
if you’d like to say your part yeah so I
mean you were talking about the skin
retracting right okay no kinda like you
know I’m talking about you know what
talk about which four tracks sometimes
do parts of you retract yeah you know
you know I’m talking about with when it
like goes up in you squeeze real hard
and it pushes it back out that’s a baby
yeah because my mom said that you get
married and then you pray for and God
gives you a baby I also see a lot of
babies at the store whenever I’m at the
store there’s Babies everywhere like on
the shelves or know just like a round so
people have already taken them off
okay well and sorry this is just a lot
to address so Hashimoto’s disease which
you mentioned is a thyroid illness and
that’s an autoimmune illness duh
all right well some of our listeners may
not know so just to let them know do you
have it I do not have that who are you
to tell me if the listeners do or do not
know what hashey motos is if you don’t
even have it it’s also impossible for
her to have an autoimmune disease
because she can’t drive her license was
taken away three years ago because she
was too cold my hands would freeze to
the steering wheel and my feet to the
pedals yeah
she cannot drive so this is this is the
kind of stuff he always tries to pull
okay so your question is where do babies
come from once and for all
okay like physically they come from
inside the uterus of a woman following
alright whenever a woman becomes
pregnant following sexual intercourse
then following okay it’s uh it’s um so
when a man the woman are together
physically and like they live in the
same house yes but also traditionally
the idea would be this is what I’m
confused about because I had a baby and
when it was born it looked exactly like
my husband I had to get a maternity test
because I did not know who the mother
was because I am just when I need to
know where it came from you get you got
the test because it looked like your
husband it didn’t look anything like me
just like my husband only okay well so
did I have him was the baby was the
baby’s gender male no okay what was the
baby’s gender
they asked female okay so did I have my
husband but in female form
who’s the mother well it’s weird where
did the baby come from if I could field
this one I’m not sure just four okay
just for a second have you ever seen
avatar I saw about 30 minutes of it and
then I fell asleep is really long I
think you just well I think you just
taught they just tied their hair
together and that was kind of how they
procreated okay I think that might work
with her situation kind of two in ten I
does that make more sense okay well yeah
yeah you kind of wrap them around each
other okay and then I mean that going
back to what we were saying before I
think the you’re kind of whatever I done
it retract back into your body okay so
and then when you push it out that’s a
baby when you were describing earlier
the thing that we I I’m I’m not positive
I think you’re referring to male
genitalia the genitals so you have no
idea okay
so so the question of where do babies
come from it’s a sort of a longer
process and I’m not sure which part
you’re most confused about but the way
that you originally start making the
baby would be when man’s genitals and
women’s genitals interact in such a way
as to fertilize one of the eggs inside
the woman we are our genitals your your
works no no not the thorax they’re your
fingers so well okay because okay that
makes sense it’s kind of like the
antennae thing like you hold hands and
then it’s transferred no okay wouldn’t
be able to do that but for I think for a
lot of people they’d be able to do that
you know I’m glad that I came on the
show because I’ve actually got a lot of
answers because they’ve started it’s
actually joining the toe
the fingers on my hand I’ve started
joining while we’ve been talking yeah so
I don’t think that necessarily applies
to me but I think maybe from the average
person it would be kind of calming one
okay well just ball so just to clarify
the size of a path with the with regard
to sexual intercourse which is how you
make the baby Wow I just really feel
like I got my answers and I and I well
okay
before you jump to that idea it’s
actually said some women you have a
vagina it’s in between the legs I’m glad
that Cameron had me come on here because
and that’s these are lifelong questions
that I’ve had and you know he said he
told me you know dr. London probably
will not be able to answer this for you
he’s not you know top tier medical
advice medical doctor but I actually
feel like I had a top two your
experience well I do recognize some of
these words that dr. London is saying
from uncle Phil’s TV show right it’s in
the like five thousands cable oh you
have to pay extra to get it to work make
you buy him and like our blocks I don’t
know that your this he says those words
a lot like a time which which words the
doctor Phil he uses the word dr. Phil
dr. Phil uses a lot of the words you
were just saying right now are you
talking about the word
yeah okay well that sounds that sounds
so it’s an example of the genitalia and
generally that when you put the
genitalia together one inside the other
then then that allows so interlacing
your fingers no yes
okay see that’s what I thought and I’m
glad that it’s been confirmed I don’t
know why you’re going on about it if I
already understand it’s kind of just
like beating a dead horse
well because that’s not I I do not agree
with that as my medical opinion I would
say that your fingers are not
what allow for conception and you know
production of babies well mine
definitely don’t minor they’ve started
melting and you know what’s weird mine
are freezing they’re turning into ice
cubes right now because of my rain odds
Yeah right and yeah and that’s once that
is a valid medical condition um
I guess okay could we go back a little
bit when you were talking about the
larvae um you you were saying that
someone was laying thousands of eggs or
or of larvae and something about being
able to step on and crush a house
I didn’t mean to brush by that quite so
quickly cuz that’s still confusing me
you should really it wouldn’t confuse
you if you saw her run after someone
stepped on our house it’d be clear as
day how quickly she can run well this
the speed at which she runs is so fast
is not the point of confusion for me
it’s actually she can rebuild
that’s the impressive part it’s not the
speed running away I think anyone would
be able to run away from that intense of
danger your adrenaline picks up you get
going it’s the speed at which you can
rebuild our home and a home for you know
thousands upon thousands of her peers
well no one is killing that clean when
Cassie’s around have you answered your
questions that didn’t quite answer the
question of okay who is laying all of
these eggs did he say that you are the
queen are you talking about a beehive or
you talking about some sort of hive no
I’m no and was never heard of a queen
like any because the Queen’s that I’m
think of immediately like the Queen of
England say does not tend to have
thousands of thousands of larvae and a
easily crushed home so I don’t
the only other queen I tend to think of
is like a queen of yeah
ants or bees yes I’m his aunt and niece
so when you say that my half-brother
Daniel
it’s his daughter Cassie and then Cassie
married uncle dr. Phil psychologist who
has a TV show on the spice Network so
okay I guess what I’m piecing together
here is Cassie are you claiming to be
the like the the the insect in ant amt
that’s a really rude thing to say to a
guest but I will answer with the words
of the wise Gavin DeGraw I don’t want to
be anything other than what I’ve been
trying to be lately absolutely so what
you’ve been trying to be lately is a
good aunt and niece when you say and in
this context and Kaz I just want to say
you’ve been the best niece and the best
aunt that I’ve ever had thank you I I
needed that today thank you I’ve been
trying so hard
I’ve been rebuilding I’ve been digging
tunnels so faster when someone crushes
the house I’ve been running see I’ve
been saving the larvae
I’ll be protecting the Queen it’s like
what a wife just one of a million yeah
but when you say that why it makes me
proud to be your Anton beams okay so to
confirm here going by the quote that you
quoted earlier lately you have been
trying to be an aunt from referring to
the insect world not referring to your
relation to Cameron is that correct well
I just married dr. Phil so yeah lately
I’ve just been trying to be an aunt
because I just became an aunt don’t you
understand my finger and toe situation
has shrunk to the size of a pin but not
like the point of a pen like the size
you know like out like a like a full pan
like they’re writing type they’re
writing attention like the full utensil
and all of its condensed into that yeah
all of your fingers and tell what does
that call I don’t I don’t know that that
has a name
a although stump the doctor once again
Wow okay well you mind if I take a look
at it sure okay okay well it looks like
you put on mittens
well yeah I’m cold yeah we’ll sit so
whenever you say that all of your
fingers join together I think that that
might have just been the the mitten
makes it look like one piece instead of
different fingers separated I’m cold
okay alright so how long ago when how
long ago did you start um Cassie with
this um this journey to live as an aunt
well dr. Phil and I have been married
for about three years okay so it started
and I guess I should ask for
clarification is dr. Phil and aunt
dr. Phil is my mother’s brother uncle
he’s my uncle I’m the aunt he’s the
uncle think like maybe Uncle Jesse uncle
Joey that kind of right I’m not but I’m
the reason I’m wondering is what made
you Cassie decide to start trying to be
an aunt that the type of aunt that is an
insect that builds colonies and things
that can be stomped down and you know
all these references to a queen when did
that start and is that relate so that’s
related to the five years ago whenever
you made three years ago three years ago
I think that the problem we’re having
here London is that all your riches all
your knowledge all your education and
you don’t have a strong family base
because if you had a strong family base
you would know the support of an aunt
the way that I give support as an aunt I
I guess I’m just confused about what
surprise surprise what made you decide
to start was it just the marriage and
okay maybe I lost something else how did
you meet dr. Phil well dr. Phil came and
spoke at my college campus and okay we
met there and I had a very impressive
question that I gave during the question
answer and he said would you like to
meet me
you know later he said in front of the
whole congregation it was really
romantic he was married at the time but
that has since dissolved obviously since
we’re married but okay um and that it
should be mentioned that my my previous
again Martha her head was bitten off by
another one of my aunt’s bitten off yeah
unfortunately that’s that’s a rare cause
of death in this country it’s
well it’s just because the pinchers the
pincers are able to cut right at the
neck
okay well the thinnest part of the body
so I talked about the largest organ talk
about the smallest organ the neck you
can just be snapped it’s so easy by two
pinchers not even not even large
pinchers like Aunt Sarah I mean just
like normal pinchers okay well I guess
it’s a little bit hard for me to
visualize partly because Oh Cassie I
can’t really see very well in this
lighting and the way we’re facing to
record this podcast so I’m not sure
exactly what you look like but my guess
is that you do not have pincers attached
to your face so you’re telling me this
doctor has never heard of lips before I
heard a lot of a lot Wow simple if it’s
not about the skin he doesn’t know about
it
well lips you can question why he only
thinks about the skin knows a lot about
the skin and how to keep it moist
normally only knows what that’s all I
want to talk about normally the yeah
well good to point out the lips are a
part of the integumentary system the
skin but um they also are usually not
designed to capitate a person the
pincers you’ve described from my Aunt
Martha sake I really wish that were true
okay um I I just have not seen lips able
to do that like well I haven’t seen the
Dalai Lama but I know he exists okay I I
suppose we’ll move what was your um
Cassie if I may ask what did you go to
college for what did you study while you
were in college whenever he spoke
architecture architecture okay I guess
that makes sense with you rebuilding the
the home you’ve been questioning it this
whole time and you’re just getting so
caught up on the aunt and niece thing I
know it’s a unique situation but is
there’s really no incest going on it’s
totally aboveboard you don’t need to
harp on it quite this much alright it’s
it’s a little bit more the
the insect as the species differ I said
there’s no incest the okay
there is no incest going on here at all
and the incest that does happen in our
family is none of your business frankly
I guess we’re running out of time maybe
on this one but great questions the
howard how our babies made you got i
don’t feel like i really satisfied your
answer but you do seem satisfied with
the interdigitate your fingers well
that’s not prayer and you ask God for a
baby and then it happens thank you it
really wasn’t a waste to be on this show
I know that you got so lost and so
confused about the antony’s thing but I
think in the end I think it all worked
out uh okay well um I guess that’s all
the time we have for today
Cameron do we have any listener mail or
feedback we absolutely do dr. London
[Music]
roseann Romero okay hello miss Monroe
met Romero sorry
she asks purchase viagra – Salas and
many more medications instantly online
while saving money from the canadian
pharmacy click here so I’m just gonna go
ahead and click here real quick okay
well actually you don’t need to do that
especially on my computer um what’s a
picture of you okay okay well I don’t
think we need that thank you miss Romero
for the question um I do not believe
that I I don’t think that we’re
interested necessarily in buying
products like Viagra or Cialis for our
listeners those those do work on
phosphodiesterase inhibitors in the
genital area which has surprisingly been
a topic today despite the fact that skin
was the was the chosen topic for today
um would want to talk about skin and you
would want to talk about other stuff
related to skin wouldn’t you and how to
keep it moist how to take it off of a
body alright well thank you for the
question but I don’t believe that it
really applies here so much but we do
appreciate the feedback and keep letting
us know yeah whenever you have any
questions we love hearing from our
audience
once your fingerprint yeah just give me
your fingerprint real quick no I don’t
think I see it no it’s not gonna hurt
we’re not gonna be able to answer a
question without your fingerprint I said
I think I already have my answer
um let me just send her some money no
okay once again you’re on my okay okay
well um well Cassie thank you for coming
in today thank you it’s great yeah thank
you to DJ Dillon for your part
thank you alright
Thank You Cameron for for your help at
your assistance as always letting us use
your equipment yeah of course
okay well with that we’ll go ahead and
conclude for today and we’ll we’ll be
back soon
if you like that episode then be sure to
subscribe so we can get the rest of our
sweet sweet episodes to you as easily as
possible if you disliked that episode
please leave your review on our end
iTunes unfortunately does not allow us
to actually see any of the feedback
unless it is rated four stars or above
mm-hmm so go ahead and leave a five star
review on iTunes and a detailed
description of what you disliked about
the episode we do value your feedback as
long as it’s 5 stars
so we are jock doc podcast on social
media so you can also yell at us on
there and you know what you I can make a
promise for the for our listeners right
now that I think a lot of people might
be excited about if you leave us a five
star review and you leave your name and
your phone number dr. London will call
you every morning and give you sort of a
medical rundown okay of how your no no
dr. London will call you he’ll say how
are you feeling let’s start with your
the top of your head then maybe like the
middle of your head okay lower part of
your head let’s go to the neck so your
throat these kind of things we can kind
of work through sort of just to prove
that because of this podcast you no
longer really need true medical
attention oh okay that’s not because
there’s you okay I stars well the five
star part I agree with but no you should
definitely see your regular doctor for
those kinds of needs but but one thing
that is important in order to be in
contact with us social media we are jock
dog podcasts so that part I can I can
affirm yeah and just I can affirm I love
that we’re both affirming things that
this is much more positive than usual I
like this I like that I can you know
affirm that London will call you he
might even attend your social events I
don’t know that’s on you and him you
guys will have each other’s numbers you
can text back and forth all you want
that’s not what you can do whatever you
want
thank you that was jock doc
[Music]
[Applause]
you

Mallory’s Heart Foundation is a small
nonprofit organization that was created
in the memory of Mallory Norrell with
the goal of building feeding and
educating in small communities in the
country of El Salvador projects
currently supported by the foundation
include feeding programs building
projects for natural disaster prevention
provisions for disaster relief and
university scholarships
local community coordinators in Central
America with the goal of bettering the
livelihood and education of the people
in that area visit Mallory’s heart comm
for details including photo video and
donation opportunities that’s ma ll o ry
s h e a rt.com and 100% of the proceeds
go to those in need
welcome to the jock doc podcast
featuring dr. London Smith sit back
relax and take in the vast medical
wisdom of a man who’s once been
described as the Guy Fieri of modern
medicine introducing your host dr.
London Smith hello and welcome to Jock
doc where we discuss fitness and health
and how to incorporate our modern
understanding of science and medicine
into our daily lives but without it
being so boring I’m your host dr. London
smith.com another listener mentioned
that they stopped listening when I use
such complicated terms as blood abdomen
and medication Oh calm down doc no idea
what you’re talking about flying right
by me okay so I’m gonna go ahead and try
I’ll try to put everything in layman’s
terms for for everyone so that we all
stay on the same page thank you okay and
here to help with that is our producer
Cameron who’s been already chiming in
helping us to stay on track hi guys I’m
here to kind of make dr. London a little
more taller boy I guess alright so
sometimes I can get caught up in the
details and I lose appeal so he does he
does help me to stay on track and this
is you know this
that’s sorry and we are indebted to him
for for supplying the equipment and for
finding these these guests of ours so as
always we are also joined by du jour de
buzos we are also expecting an extra
special guest later so look forward to
that so we continue to receive a great
deal of great listener feedback but
first of all thank you all for your
input and criticisms some have made the
claim one listener in particular made
the claim that I am a pipe squeak and
could not handle myself in a fight so
once again thank you for that response
but I would like to clarify that the
nickname of Jacque doc is derived far
more from my hobbies and physical
fitness rather than my you know ability
to throw a punch that’s not really you
know violence isn’t really my thing so
much I mean I’m sort of after the
opposite so but but enough of that so
let’s get to that you did beat me up so
okay here I don’t know we’re fine but
we’re flying past us again right so okay
when it happened you I tried to beat you
up
I remember so it’s called I don’t know
if you’ve heard the term self-defense
but you were going at me with a bottle
yeah you were you had a bottle in your
head think yes and that sound is
actually but it was a bottle of medicine
so right well it was a bottle doctor
stuff it was a bottle of whiskey which
used to be considered medicine yeah it
said three X’s on the bottle medicine
right so so when you hit me with that
for one thing that caused me injury and
then for another me fighting back wasn’t
so much of fighting back as it was
subdue you so that we could put you in
restraints
so almost in a way you beating me with
the bottle I tried to beat you with you
grabbed the bottle out of my hand you
started beating me with it that was on
your medicine I’d write it was I suppose
you could call it prophylaxis which is a
medical term for preventing harm I don’t
think you’re allowed to say that anymore
man in this day and age okay to clarify
it’s not a racist or sexist term to my
knowledge in any case so yes that that
incident did happen you were very
intoxicated and attacked me well yeah I
drank a full bottle of whiskey that’s
what I was trying to hit you with right
and so I didn’t you did beat me up well
and when you say beat you up I simply
held you down because you were trying to
not only attack me but then also the
children that were there you kept
insisting you had to I was blacked out
man I don’t even remember well yeah I
can tell
so in any case if you wouldn’t mind
let’s go ahead and put that I was trying
to not mention it because I thought it
might be more embarrassing for you I
thought it would be interesting for the
listeners to talk about maybe the
medical science behind why you beat me
over the head with the bottle I tried to
beat you with okay well actually if it’s
okay we’ll go ahead and move on to the
ER story I mean that’s not okay at all
but you know it’s your show it’s kind of
my show okay okay then once again I am
indebted to you for for this equipment
and I appreciate it and you you let’s
move on let’s go okay what are we
talking about today doc can and try to
talk about it and maybe human terms not
not these alien languages okay like
bleep blorp
penicillin rate lorb
so today take me to your stethoscope
okay so today we have a story from the
ER we had a patient come in unconscious
around 10:00 p.m. for a heroin overdose
and heroin is yeah very much a
depressant it really depresses your
whole it’s kind of
early to start doing that in the day to
I I am Not sure on the timing that’s
best for dangerous around it’s usually a
time you wanna sure well in any case
they came in at 10 p.m. for a heroin
overdose she came in she comes in every
couple of weeks with her fiance so in
the hospital we call that a frequent
flyer anyway she got points I can’t
access my hospital points account by the
way I’ve racked up like thirty thousand
points and I can’t figure out how to
login well to be honest to my knowledge
we do not have a frequent flyer status
just said that you have a frequent flyer
program I’m telling you about thirty
thousand points somewhere I can’t figure
how to log into my account
okay so frequent flyer is actually a
term it’s sort of a sarcastic phrase
based on that concept of frequent flyer
miles so it’s not a legitimate thing
where you acquire points it is simply a
term used for someone who you know comes
into the hospital on a regular basis
yeah frequently and so uh I do not
believe that you would actually have
points acquired I’m not sure where
you’re getting the thirty thousand you
don’t think she has points acquired I’ve
got thirty thousand points who told you
that I’ve just been keeping track pen
and paper lost art in any case so she
comes in frequently
with her fiance so we got her treated
got her stabilized and she regained
consciousness around 2:00 a.m. at that
point she said doc you gotta let me go I
have a job interview at 8:00 a.m. and I
can’t miss it so we made sure that she
could walk without injuring herself and
then she actually left against medical
advice presumably to to go for that job
interview did she get the
I did not follow up with her on that I’m
not sure that I want her to well you
sound like a bad doctor well in the ER
you actually don’t have so much follow
up you direct them to follow up with
their regular doctor such as an
internist or family doctor I’m confused
would you say when they called you as a
reference when who called me as a
reference wherever she was applying for
a job okay she actually did not call me
for a reference she was only in the ER
because of the heroin overdose she went
into the ER she’s a miaar because she
started a little early in the day if she
had started about maybe an hour and a
half later she’d probably be feeling
pretty good okay and then she had to go
into the job she put you down as a
reference that’s the part I don’t think
would be accurate I don’t think that she
would put me down as a reference I
wouldn’t put you down as a reference
because you don’t even know your own
like point system at your hospital we
need to get to her we actually have a
sponsor
[Music]
oh okay wow this is this is great it’s
actually a friend of ours from high
school hey Andy it’s Andy
say hi Andy nice to see you
did your nose get bigger London I’m I’m
probably it looks a little bit bigger it
seems like your nose has grown quite a
bit since the last time I saw you London
is actually a little bit of a brainiac
with this kind of stuff if London you
could talk about maybe why your nose has
gotten so honking here your nose grows
over time but so does the rest of your
body you probably when we we met in
adolescence right and so as I grew older
generally I grew up you we all grew
taller and my nose just just grew that
much and that space of time it’s not
have you been lying a lot you’ve been
telling some fibs huh that’s how your
nose has been growing right well no I
don’t believe so that’s not a thing
right if you do realize your nose grew
that’s not a thing no that was Pinocchio
that’s not like that was a fictional no
that was a great documentary I don’t I
don’t believe so
why do you ask like that mm-hmm why do
you ask
I mean sometimes I can be over hearing
out here no I’m telling you it does Wow
in this this is medicine I watched that
documentary finocchio about that little
wooden boy who his dad loved him so much
that he just came to life one day yeah I
got eaten by a whale well haven’t we all
have you been eaten by a whale before
three days I was in the belly of a whale
really when did this happen to you last
weekend Wow did you I paid for the
experience it’s an experience that you
pay I went on a cruise okay South
America they offered all these packages
swimming with dolphins you know visiting
the native
people and all the things that they sell
and also get the whale belly experience
and that’s what I went for and it was
great is this the sponsor being
swallowed by a whale I was gonna bring
that up thank you guys so much for being
the sponsor because I wanted to tell you
guys that I have finally decided to live
my dream well actually you guys know
that in high school I was a big Sanger
oh the best and I have finally reached
the point in my life that I’m ready to
pursue that okay well just a charming me
real quick thankfully I have my two
great friends in this wonderful podcast
you have going and I really appreciate
all of the money and everything that
you’re pouring into my career it’s gonna
take off it’s really gonna help a lot
so usually thank you guys thank you okay
so declare my first song that’s not
weird
I actually wrote it myself about my
boyfriend we have been together for
three weeks next Thursday Oh three weeks
and you wrote a song about him oh wow
when you experienced true love which I
know you have not London when you
experience true love sometimes these
things just pour out of you and that’s
what happened with this song and I’m
gonna be releasing it pretty soon and I
was gonna give you guys a little demo a
little you know just so you know where
your money’s going absolutely well
that’s a point of clarification I might
need to make here is so sponsor for the
show is someone who someone who pays
well so we know these are poor African
children you send them money so that
they can get food and they can go to
school and they can have uniforms and
they can have clean water but in this
case I’m needing you to sponsor me so
that I can feed my children while I’m
trying to pursue my career as a country
singer so thank you for feeding my kid
Cameron have all the sponsors been this
type of sponsor where we are meant to be
paying them to be on the show well she’s
already given us her direct deposit
slip if that’s what you’re asking so
I’ve already put in all the information
you don’t have to worry you either big I
got some chicken nuggets for my kid he
this is because he’s a doctor he gets
caught up in the logistics of everything
just stay out of it London you’re over
here this right here okay so if your
arthritis so if you don’t have anything
to be on getting sponsorship from you I
probably will go ahead and go on with
what we’re going to talk about today
which is which is my new song well and
so it’s actually the kidneys so you
talked about how something was pouring
out of you something like this music
that’s that so similarly you have this
part of your body called the kidneys you
have two of them they’re being shaped
they’re right on your flank on each side
on the right in the left
they actually filter the toxins in your
blood and they always hurt all the time
well usually no that’s usually if you
have an infection or a kidney stone or
something like that no no so anyways my
new song is really probably gonna I just
want you guys to get your Kleenexes out
sorry your tissues I don’t know Kleenex
is a sponsor of this I just sent them a
check so I think they’re I’d get your
Kleenex and I just want to dedicate this
song to my boyfriend
DJ Dylan Oh so honey this is for you
sweetie
if you could just look me in the eyes
sweetie yes thank you alright so here we
go
can I get it oh we don’t have that’s
right thank you darling okay so here we
go okay
happy Anniversary sweetie I thank God
for you and your mama too for making you
the man you are that made me the girl I
am today I don’t know where
and B I don’t know what I’d say if I
couldn’t look through your eyes into the
starry night skies and I’m sorry that I
[Music]
got a hunchback wow that Andy that was
amazing I’m sorry could you give your
full artist name since you’re and you
can actually catch me I’m gonna be doing
the chili cook-off circulate and I just
want to say on a personal note you’re
Hunchback I haven’t seen it weep at all
this entire time you know it used to
just kind of weep in high school not a
single drop well I started taking some
medicine for it it makes a doctor
podcast that’s the podcast we’re on my
weeping back is no longer weeping
because I give it some loft every day
you give your back specifically that
makes the medication yeah how do you how
do you do that needle how okay so you
this doctor doesn’t know what it a
syringe is that right and then you don’t
watch the medical term comes in to call
it a syringe nothing gets past this guy
you and your big nose always poking on
all these times so locked in a syringe
and then injects it into a punch bag
there’s a loft in a needle so you take
the pills and you crunch them up how do
you do that is that is it my sorry it’s
do you crunch them up put them in water
or something and put them in a syringe
or do you have some other way to yeah
well sometimes apple juice I think it
tastes better if it’s apple juice tastes
better in your hunched back and so do
you do this daily I have to do it about
three times a day
with with a meal and it actually
requires a pretty hefty meal you
probably eat the size of the hunt the
hunchback right I have to fill it first
sorry DJ Dylan how did you what did you
think about that song what a great
three-week anniversary song no three
Thursday next Thursday
so 2-week anniversary today it’s kind of
a rude three weeks next Thursday your
big nose into things that you have no
business poking your big nose in did
your doctor tell you how to take your
the zoloft medication because that is a
prescription medication yeah I have a
doctor okay and so this doctor is he a
doctor of medicine as far as I know okay
oh wait hey DJ Dylan is this your the
other day you were talking about you
were writing a prescription for a
patient yes is is this is maybe this
kind of what we’re talking about here
yes is your boyfriend
posing as a doc you’re not posing no I
get almost oh thanks open for all your
doctor needs so if you have an issue
like you’re you’re having a heart attack
or you’re you know your leg falls off
you just go to his basement and he’s got
it all set up down there so your and the
best part is it’s free oh so he’s
so he’s a drug dealer who is dealing the
drugs for free well just to me I mean in
any case I I do want to be aboveboard
here I also see dr. Dillon for my me my
need does that weird thing what weird
thing just like a weird thing it doesn’t
go the right way do you mean like it
doesn’t it’s the wrong way your kneecap
it’s just points the wrong way okay cuz
that’s another thing where you should
really go to see it well I see DJ Dillon
so DJ Dillon to my knowledge is not a
licensed clinical physician that’s not
what the degree says and his office he
has an office because I I was under the
impression that he did not have an
office I said you go to his basement
yeah and what is what does his degree
say it says something about popping my
knee like making it point the right way
that’s the only reason I went to him so
so the degree specifically said like
something for your specific symptoms
yeah I just let my knees that are kind
of right there swing in the wrong way
you wouldn’t guess what I’ve got I’ve
got I brought a surprise along ok I
brought another friend from high school
oh ok yeah that sounds great Andy
oh hey yeah Jake good to see you
hey bro our sorry dr. London it’s kind
of funny that you’re you’re the one
who’s the doctor now if you don’t know
and you’re listening me and dr. London
we’ve been friends since well
acquaintances since sixth grade but
funny because he’s the doctor now but I
actually kind of grew up being the one
who was more of the science buff in the
medical field and all that and you know
helping him with tests and stuff so it’s
really I mean it should be me that was a
doctor but things happen yeah did I see
you in DJ Dylan’s basement the other day
I think so you you might have yeah
there’s been a few parties down there so
these it’s it’s iconoclast down there
you know what I mean it’s alright yeah
it’s it’s own thing it’s got its own
culture it’s it’s you know it reminds me
a lot of Harlem yeah it’s like early
days a hip-hop type yeah right yeah it’s
kind of its own thing it’s you know
really it’s kind of a hub of yeah like I
said culture lots of cool parties girls
you name it well that’s that sounds
great
I haven’t caught up with you for a
little bit so you’re saying that you are
you’re very into medicine and you’re
surprised that I I’m so into it and you
kind of drifted what uh well no I
haven’t drifted I’m just saying I think
it’s like one of those funny things in
life where like you know you’re kind of
the one who in you know in the
friendship who’s always kind of you know
seeked out medical information really
become an expert on it but then you know
your friend kind of 1ups you becomes the
doctor he’s one of those kind of things
not not that I’m I’m not dissing that I
think that’s great and everything but I
just think it’s kind of funny I guess I
I felt like you were never super into
science well I was a little reclusive
about it you know I didn’t want to brag
or whatever you know I mean my mom
taught me well I guess you know yeah I’m
not like this guy his whole thing is
well and there’s some of that you know
when you’re a doctor you you kind of
have to let it be known I mean you put
MD next to your name or doctor you know
however you want to do it
I disagree I think you should stumble
upon people being a doctor oh yeah
titles aside but that’s kind of what I I
did with DJ Dylan down in the basement I
just kind of stumbled upon it you know
friend told me about it yeah about how
he deals drugs uh well not specifically
but just more of like the party aspect
of more of the medical science of it I’m
not sure he really knows all the science
behind it but he’s definitely got a feel
for it you gotta give him that that’s
that’s one thing that I noticed a lot of
doctors don’t have I’m sure it’s
different with you but they tend to have
less of a natural feel for the subject
in they’re coming at it from more of an
academic angle no I would call them less
of a healer and more of just a scientist
well and maybe even a student yeah more
maybe they’re just more like they’re
kind of just a constant student of the
system yeah I’m that preschoolers with
finger paints just kind of making a
picture of their mommy and daddy that’s
kind of what I see dr. London as whereas
when I’m in the basement does a good job
of making making my meter rings and and
making science fun
you know and that’s something that’s
missing in most doctor communities is
making medical things and science a lot
of fun and the games we play down there
are insane yeah when you say games
what do you oh we played a lot of game I
mean when I was over there last last
like couple weeks ago whatever when
actually the night that he and Andy met
we actually we were playing a spin the
bottle but it was I forget what it was
vicodin or something I can’t remember
that but it got pretty crazy I got hit
twice with it so anyway yeah he got
pretty crazy but especially when the gun
got involved right
yeah well it was when you brought a gun
well it wasn’t a real gun people thought
it was a real gun
but yeah it wasn’t it was a like bubble
it was a squirt gun but I filled it with
vicodin too so and you know what they
say laughter is really the best medicine
well so you filled a squirt gun with
vicodin how did this spin it was a
bubble gun yeah it’s the same thing just
one squirts bubbles I guess that’s true
see this is the kind of stuff I want I
am a student I want to be learning these
things I’ve learned so much from you
right now
just like I’ve learned so much from you
in that basement that one night where as
yeah I mean all everything doctor London
saying it’s going in one ear and out the
other because it’s I mean it’s either
gibberish or it’s nonsense well you got
to understand I mean he’s a he’s a smart
guy I’ve known in my whole life since
you know I was 15 but they you know he
comes at it from that more academic
angle like you were saying you know
Jones I don’t like I don’t trust it it
works it works for some people he thinks
we came from worms
well it’s and that’s in reference to I
was describing our digestive tract and
how it looked similar some in some ways
but in any case so um oh yeah yeah I
heard your last episode we all are
talking about that kind of stuff
actually you said something you were
talking about lungs and talking about
smoking and how it you know gets in your
body so I actually had a question I
wanted to bring up since I’m kind of a
you know medical buff science buff type
if you will okay um so you know there’s
a lot of talk about smoking there’s a
lot of kids that smoke these days you
know and and they always have but I feel
like there’s less kids smoking so look I
just have this question what is the
relationship in the increase in smoking
and the decrease in vaccinations
nationwide how do you think those two
because I’m just as you know
an observer I’ve noticed you know that
smoking levels are increasing but
vaccinations are decreasing so I don’t
know if the two are related I feel like
they are I’d have to go ahead and say
that I don’t believe that those two are
related well okay but but think about it
so you always see doctors smoking cigars
it’s kind of what they’re known for
well I don’t know about you know I mean
besides being doctors and you never see
them vaccinating themselves you you
always see them vaccinating children huh
and only children you know I mean think
about that I mean honestly I think
pediatricians have to be some of the
sickest people on earth you know what I
mean because and this is my honest
opinion I you know just as an observer
once again I’m noticing that a lot of
pediatricians are vaccinating a lot of
kids and it has to make you think like
why are they pushing vaccinations
pushing vaccinations so hard and I I
think you know we’re seeing a lot of you
know what’s I mean there are there are
reasons why it’s to prevent disease yeah
oh no I’m with you there I I do think
that vaccinations prevent disease but
I’m wondering what their motives are is
it to help the kids or is it to keep
themselves from getting sick because
they’re seeing sick kids all day long
and part of me thinks it’s more about
them than it is about the kids because
you know vaccinations do work but only
for a short amount of time so I think
they’re doing it more for the paycheck
you know and a quick payoff and because
if you think about it you know I feel
like it’s more of a quick fix and they
get their paycheck and then later comes
the deterioration in many different ways
namely autism and as you get older think
about it you get you get older you meet
more people and as you meet more people
you mean you meet more and more people
with Asperger’s which is kind of the
in-between phase you know of being
normal and being autistic caps family
yeah yeah I mean that’s just how it
works and you know you would think you
would think with all the
people with Asperger’s that are you know
middle-aged something like that that you
would be seeing a lot of people who are
older with autism but the problem is old
people don’t have autism because they
weren’t vaccinated like kids are today
well that’s you giving us a lot to to
chew on there but uh okay so to address
a few things in there it’s quite quite a
few things to tackle for one thing the
motivation for doctors to vaccinate and
you’re saying that pediatricians
like the case you made made it sound
like they’re just being selfish because
they don’t want to get sick and that’s
why they vaccinate the the pediatricians
most doctors actually all doctors who
work in health care have to be
vaccinated against certain illnesses the
how does that explained the cigars he
was talking about earlier
okay cigars are one of those small
personal choices that’s not part of
practicing medicine right but they do
kind of you know represent doctors in a
way you know you think of a doctor you
think what do you think of a cigar as a
doctor puffing so a cigar mm-hmm okay
well I think more of um and sorry
Cameron but a stethoscope is what I
would think of or a white coat I don’t
know I don’t know what you’re saying at
all okay so well stethoscope is
basically like a doctor’s necklace it’s
a status thing ah why couldn’t you have
said that four episodes ago dr. London
okay well the reason there is because
that’s not the purpose is so if you’ve
seen a stethoscope um it’s it’s sort of
a y-shaped thing so at the top of the Y
that the two ends those are where it
goes in your ears and at the bottom
alright so here the heartbeat yes yes
good answer Jake so yeah the bottom is
that the what’s called the the Bell and
the diaphragm of the stethoscope and
usually they’ll use the diaphragm and
stethoscope to listen to your heartbeat
or your breathing and so that’s it so
that’s how they know you’re alive right
and that how they know what could be a
problem with
your life but what illness is you might
have so the step sorry the stethoscope
I’m really trying to follow the
stethoscope prevents the need for
vaccinations but requires the need for
sacar cigar usage is that correct not
requires it’s just the cigar is the way
I see it the cigar is just another
symbol of status and the stethoscope is
the secondary okay so to to clarify that
the stethoscope is not a status that
it’s a useful tool well it’s it’s sir
it’s killing two birds with one stone
really it helps detect the heartbeat and
it also shows that you are in fact a
doctor like carpenter genes right yeah
they’re both genes that you can weigh
more they’re also a function that’s kind
of a tool you can hook your hammer on
the bottom part of your genes on the
little hook there that way you can carry
it around with you yeah in the same way
doctors probably carry around the
stethoscope probably carry around a
cigar yeah I mean carry around a actor a
needle or a syringe as dr. London always
kind of forces us to use I mean I mean
every occupation has their status symbol
I mean you’ve got actors and cameras you
know mm-hmm okay well well let’s let’s
get move on to maybe um okay and also to
address one one thing that also came up
in there there is no strong correlation
between autism and vaccines that’s
that’s a myth that is actually untrue
well it just hasn’t been studied long
enough because like I said you see a lot
of people you know around you know our
age and kind of middle age you know that
uh you know they’re they’re developing
they’re starting they’re developing
Asperger’s they’re not fully autistic
yet but they’re getting there and then
the older people you don’t see so many
autistic ones only because they weren’t
vaccinated in the same way because you
know big pharma I feel like is getting
out of control I was talking to somebody
the other day about battlefield medicine
and you know how great that is oh they
were praising battlefield medicine how
good that is that the people on the
battle field don’t have to suffer during
a war the point of war is suffering if
nobody died nobody would win the war
I mean you got to take that into account
and you know at least you know they they
may be well treated today but at least
back in you know let’s say the civil war
they may have been in pain on the
battlefield but they weren’t being
mind-controlled by Big Pharma okay well
absolutely so to to clarify one another
point you made there so autism and maybe
if we weren’t being mind-controlled then
maybe some of these ideas that they came
out of the civil war with maybe they’d
be a little different so autism to
clarify one point autism has actually
diagnosed much earlier on you can see
dr. Linden squirmin for a cigar right
now he’s like I wish I could get away
for it okay and someone pointed my kid
on my kid in my my Lamborghini and the
jokes honestly on doctors cuz you know
they’re getting kids addicted to
vaccinations and they think that’s they
think that’s all fun and games but then
they’re getting addicted to cigars
themselves it’s came full circle in my
Matthew gets vaccinations every couple
of years sad yeah that’s the world we
live in
yep it’s unbelievable it’s yeah I mean I
would honestly rather live in a world
where the life expectancy is much
shorter but you get to have a fulfilled
life hung in the moon where you’re
addicted to but how old is your nephew
thirty-five there’s your nephew travel a
lot just a normal amount for a 35 year
old because there are certain
vaccinations that you would have to keep
up with usually not every few years but
if you travel a lot to certain countries
where let’s say a typhoid is endemic
then you might get what has never been
to Thailand you know at his age and with
his frequent level of vaccinations I
would say he’s about the prime the the
prime candidate to have Asperger’s I
don’t know if you’ve noticed anything
but I would definitely keep an eye out
for that well what are the smallest you
know if he’s traveling alone he may need
you know some someone to accompany him
what what are some of the signs that I
can look kind of look out for I
shouldn’t I was not
I was not well he always excelled on you
know on the mental on the mentally
challenged parts of school okay
I guess okay okay so to clarify on what
the one point Asperger’s is actually no
longer included in the diagnostic
options here it’s that’s there’s an
autism spectrum and there’s certain
levels to it Asperger’s is actually that
name is no longer so relevant cause it
was it was not a specific measurement
it’s more of like the broad kind of the
area on the in between you know it
didn’t pinpoint so they don’t like they
don’t like anything that you know
doesn’t pinpoint so you you are you are
right in saying that it’s a mild form of
autism it’s it’s one of the more mild
forms but it is still on the spectrum
which is if you’ve ever heard the term
autism spectrum and so it would be on
that spectrum but just not as severe but
at the at term the term Asperger’s is
actually no longer used in medicine so
that’s a bit of an update in that regard
that’s for your comment about the amount
of vaccinations a person gets if they’re
going to a legitimate licensed
practicing physician then generally
they’re you know they’re gonna be
getting the correct vaccinations if they
go to DJ Dylan’s basement they may get
you know something else and I can’t
speak well you know people people care a
lot about getting the right medicine and
the right dosage and everything but also
if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my
years of being a businessman it’s that
people really appreciate customer
service and honestly people will pay
more and risk more for better customer
service so that’s one thing that I think
doctors and hospitals are not doing you
know as well as you know people like DJ
Dylan in their basement okay and I well
I appreciate that so you mentioned your
business man what what career have you
got into I know you said you you left
the path of Medicine
just do a little bit of this and that
but you know I I still study up a lot on
medicine so that’s why I’m able to be on
the show oh that’s what qualified
that’s what met the criteria for for
Cameron to choose you to be yeah oh no I
I applied yeah there’s a test we have an
application yeah oh yeah you know it’s
like a there’s three rounds you have to
go through uh-huh and you can you
conduct a thorough what is it an
interview process oh no there was yeah
but there were like a couple hundred
people waiting on the sidewalk out there
it was just by chance I actually didn’t
even know that it was you and when I
found out of course I lost it I thought
it was great and honestly I went
hysterical because that mean you being a
doctor it’s just never what I expected
once again but I’m happy for you I think
it’s great
well Jake and Andi thank you guys for
for coming by it has thank you for all
appreciate it if you want to see if this
info is correct Jake you’re gonna be
doing a lecture in DJ Dylan’s basement
tomorrow afternoon at 2:00 p.m.
yep 2:00 p.m. it’s the lecture on just
it’ll be a number of things uh I
definitely will touch on some things
that I talked about today namely well
I’ll have to think of something else to
call Asperger’s but I think we all know
what it’s called natural yeah but you
know just your basic stuff cigarettes
autism vaccinations okay well I’ll end a
lot today about DJ Dylan’s private life
so that is something thank you to do
toodaloo the host all right as well as
Andy for coming on the show I’m not sure
about the whole sponsorship thing I I
forgot to mention I needed to give a
shout out to a couple of friends this
one goes out to Dylan and Andy and happy
just wanted to wish you guys a happy
three-week anniversary next Thursday
don’t get too crazy
alright thank you all and thank you for
listening see ya if you liked that
episode please subscribe you need a five
star review on iTunes you can write what
your favorite part was whether you
prefer pancakes or waffles or simply
write the word review honestly as long
as give us five stars you can write out
with just a cooking recipe or a vlog
about a recent fashion trend that you
don’t like we are jock talk podcast on
social media
and we post goodies there too so give us
a follow and honestly you know if you
didn’t have a five star experience while
you were listening to this let’s say you
were cooking and you burnt something
let’s say you were driving on the way to
work and there was too much traffic or
maybe you were a little sleepy while
listening to it just give it a one-star
review well let’s well I mean we wanted
them to be honest yes I was listening to
a podcast and I ate something and it was
too spicy and I didn’t have water near
me that’s a 1-star podcast no look at
because we’re writing the content of the
pod captain like their food isn’t that
yeah how am i I can’t hear the podcast
cuz I’m screaming out cuz it’s so I’m I
can’t there’s no water near me so maybe
that’s a review for I guess the rest
maybe don’t leave a review in that case
would be compromised give it two stars
keep it that’s from this that’s still
not know well anyway leave a five star
review thanks
[Music]
[Applause]

Hello and welcome to the jock doc podcast
featuring Dr. London Smith. He’s a medical freak with a fit physique. I’m DJ Dylan. Now introducing your host Dr. London Smith.
[Applause]
Hello and welcome to Jock Doc where we discuss fitness and health and how to incorporate our modern understanding of science and medicine into our daily lives but without it being so boring. I’m your host Dr. London Smith .com
and we have gotten a great deal of listener feedback so first of all thank you all for for your input and your criticisms so some listeners have been confused as to why the podcast is called
jock doc so the simple answer is that I have always been sort of a the classic jock type and in medical school and residency and in my career since people just started calling me the jock doc so
it was a natural fit I’m a fitness and lifestyle coach my spare time and that hobby just sort of spilled into podcasting
-well and you beat me up
here? You want to do this here?
-No, I mean
Let me if you wouldn’t mind I’ll just okay so another listener
-that was one of the reasons cuz you’re kind of a jock cuz you beat me up
Okay well so another listener mentioned that they stopped listening when I use such complicated terms like stethoscope
ambulance and blood pressure cuff so I’ll try to tone it down on the medical jargon
-Yeah that was me I I couldn’t make heads or tails of some of the stuff you were saying
okay and so the one who’s talking that’s our producer Cameron
-kept saying uvula where to even start with that I’m here to make it make things will make a little more sense
right to simplify things because sometimes I get caught up in the nitty gritty the details of you know the pathophysiology involved in medicine and Cameron Mehta hop right med what so
thankfully we have him here today to help me stay relatable in that regard. In addition we are joined as always by due
to the wound in the hose later in the
show Cameron this is what DJ you don’t
want quit
later in the show
DJ Dylan played again this is what DJ
you don’t wanna quit he would come in
with that every 90 seconds or so okay
London go ahead London this is what
later in the show Cameron tells me that
we have a special guest as well we sure
do dr. London so without further ado let
me share a tale from the hospital we had
a young patient who had smoked marijuana
[Music]
so he was presenting a key stick so so
he was presenting with symptoms of
feeling like his stomach was moving that
was this complaint now marijuana is
known for um for helping you relax
however it can also have sort of an
opposite effect because it can cause
paranoia increased anxiety so in the
case of this patient he likely felt
something like his digestive tract
moving food along to peristalsis and
that’s when when the walls of the
digestive tract expand and contract to
move food along
it can also be normal to feel movement
and even to hear sounds yeah but I bet
he was relaxed though you know I’m
talking about you know what I mean
smoking that oh so you smoking because
the smoke no cool pretty relaxed right
you’re telling me that he was so relaxed
that he got paranoid about how relaxed
he was well it’s it’s fine you should
bring that up because it’s actually so
the point I’m actually making here is
that sometimes it can have a
counterintuitive effect because it can
increase your anxiety even though normal
is known for relaxation I don’t get it
can you talk in normal term stock smoke
weed everyday’ yeah I like that guy
so in addition he may also have been
feeling the pulse of his
abdominal aorta which runs me the
bellybutton you’re telling me this
dude smokes so much weed that even his
stomach started tripping out his stomach
got worms crawling around in it
well I mean in a way you could say that
you could say that the digestive tract
is a lot like a big worm in the way that
it can yeah well but it’s it just
happens to be something that we’re born
with and that grows over time you know
but in the same way that a worm sort of
squeeze and contracts and different
parts your digestive tract is the same
thing to move food along you’re telling
me this all happened cuz I smoked weed
has the worm inside him started moving
okay no well that’s so he actually he it
started there’s a worm inside of me
right now okay no I’m actually
so take the comparison is that similar
to the way a worm moves you could
compare that to how your digestive tract
moves fool but so in any case today
we’re actually talking about the lungs
that’s the topic for today so whenever
you breathe every time a few fuel
Cameron you take a breath huh it
probably has upsets all the worms and
your stomach if you’re taking big
breaths like that now it makes sense why
it stomach starts moving like that okay
well that’s
I imagine a big breath like that
probably get your worms going pretty
fast oh and sorry this would be my fault
to clarify you don’t have you don’t
normally have worms in your stomach cuz
I smoked drowns the ones every day right
but actual oak suffocates the worms
pushes them down okay oh and that’s so
so the way breathing actually works is
you have these two sacks in your in your
chest
worms eggs and whenever you breathe in
they they expand they fill with air and
you have little sacs mini sex inside of
those called alveoli and those expand
and they’re like little little balloons
almost and so they fill up with air and
then when you exhale when you let your
breath that then it passes out and so
you have an exchange of fresh air with
oxygen and you breathe out the carbon
dioxide
hi I don’t I don’t buy that the other
day I was in my pool and I took a big I
was well I was down at the bottom I was
doing a tea party and you know what I
mean when you float to the bottom and I
took a big ol breath thinking like oh
it’s probably time for me to take a
breath it’s been about five to 10
seconds it’s pretty normal didn’t get a
single drop of air but but I felt those
worms going I do I do agree with you on
that okay well on that so but there’s
other mumbo-jumbo stuff this is I mean
this is talk we’ve been talking about
this I mean this is about this well this
is a nod so whenever you say you’re
having a tea party yeah at the bottom of
my pool you were happy I was not pool
okay like a quarry so you found a quarry
yeah my quarry so you have a quarry yeah
and you went to the bottom of it for a
tea party can I have some more you know
that kind of tea party yeah
Oliver Twist Tea Party right so so what
happened there was actually that you
were breathing in that sounds like
water your underwater worms can’t live
without water okay well and so in that
scenario
you actually that that’s how drowning
actually happens we’re just running in
circles doc this is the same stuff over
and over again okay so tell me something
I repeat it back you say oh you breathe
into your lungs but you can’t do it at
the bottom of a quarry because it’s
gonna upset the worms in your stomach
make you sick like marijuana I’m saying
if I smoked marijuana before I go to the
bottom of a quarry and take a big breath
in it shouldn’t upset anything following
your same logic the logic that you just
broke down yet I’m telling you I felt
awful I felt so bad after I went to the
bottom that Quarian took a big old
breath in okay and okay i busy sleepy
okay is this might be my fault in part
so one thing I didn’t clarify was that
you’re only breathing in air when you
are above water if you are under water
then you’re gonna be breathing in a
water and so that might have been the
issue you ran into because breathe that
you are not your body is not made to
breathe in water
okay what about Steve’s Isuzu Life
Aquatic with Steve Zissou so I never I’m
none not familiar he’s down under the
water he’s breathing is he in some sort
of submersible well yeah okay so in that
life aquatic okay okay so in that in
that film he’s actually he’s in he’s
breathing in air because his containment
chamber is filled with air even though
that chamber is underwater but what he
is breathing is still oxygen it still is
breathing the same I was were you in a
submersible in the quarry
I was submerged at the bottom of the
quarry having a tea party okay well how
can I make this clear I was at the
bottom I was having a tea party I was
down there with my friends and I took in
a big old breath because it had been
five to ten seconds and said a clerk she
said was okay
upset the worm my stomach had to take a
nap okay so you who were your friends
meeting you at the bottom of the quarry
I passed out so quickly I have no idea
so so to start this tea party did you
know who you were meeting at the bottom
of the water in the quarry well I mean
no not when I got there but I mean by
the time I got down there I mean we were
all down there so gotta make friends
with somebody did you know that there is
a tea party going on at the bottom of
the why did you go down into the bottom
I went to the quarry I smoked marijuana
it upset the worms in my stomach so I
said I’m gonna go down to the bottom of
the quarry have a tea party p-party is
when you sit indian-style and you float
to the bottom okay mine a little Tea
Party met my friends down there blacked
out instantly okay woke up here at this
podcast oh ok so to clarify something
for our listeners one of the first
things you’ll do in a psychological
evaluation or a psychiatric evaluation
is you will rule out drugs as a cause so
in your instance Cameron possibly some
of that may some of what you experienced
may have been due to smoking of the
marijuana it could have had some effects
on your your experience so you’re saying
if I hadn’t smoked I would have been
able to take a big old breath when I was
down there have my tea parties my
friends I am NOT saying that but I
wouldn’t get so sleepy afterwards wake
up at a podcast so you know why don’t we
go ahead we can move on from now do you
have any spots oh okay okay sorry to
clarify when you smoked marijuana that
may have altered your judgment and then
you went underwater in search of a tea
party no I went down there to have a tea
party there were guys already down there
having a tea party I made friends with
them went to sleep
shortly before woke up here you inhaled
water well yeah I was telling there five
and seconds gotta take a breath blacked
out and also woke up here yes okay well
did there’s enough of your experience
that I’m not sure you were fully aware
of that I’m not sure if I can actually
you know follow exactly but so I’ll go
ahead and take your word for it on this
one but I guess we’ll go ahead and
transition into our the next segment
Cameron you said you had something
prepared yeah dr. London we actually
have a kind of a fun quiz okay it’s a
sort of a personality type of test it’s
called which genius are you I know you a
lot of your heroes or are geniuses from
the past and I thought it’d be kind of
fun to see which one you are okay that
sense it sounds nice like maybe a little
bit off like what kind of geniuses do
you mean like Leonardo da Vinci Einstein
Bill Nye Neil deGrasse Tyson my grandpa
your Grandpa’s on the list
yeah let’s begin you ready I get that
sense yes okay question number one it’s
a Friday night a night out with the
girls what are you wearing a sky-high
stilettos B red lipstick or C a little
black dress and this this helps us to
tell which genius you are yes okay which
of those would I’d be most likely to
wear I guess would I guess the shoes
this is still at a it’s the those shoes
okay number two a guy flirts with you at
the bar how do you respond a flirt back
B lean in for a kiss or C act coy I’m
guessing most likely I would I guess C
act coy I wouldn’t I wouldn’t lean in
for a kiss I don’t think your loss
question number three he invites you
back to his place what do you say a yes
B no way C no
but you really mean yes okay for that
one up B no way would be my answer a
little bit of a prude
not surprising question number four
turns out he’s a murderer what he’s
about to hit you in the head with a
crowbar what do you do a runaway be
leaned in for a kiss or C accept your
fate and get ready to be reunited with
your grandpa in the afterlife a runaway
is is what I would do
okay let me just get all of these in
here this is to tell which of the
geniuses yeah it’s full of these quizzes
have I think said 98% accuracy who who
said that which website at the top of
the website
oh okay your results are in
you are my grandpa you’re a tough
no-nonsense man you’re a little racist
and incontinent you’re just as
comfortable with a night out with the
girls as you are at home and above all
else you will never be allowed back at
the Valero near your house ever again
well sure exactly um sure okay well
thank you for that quiz Cameron yeah of
course yeah so now we know that of all
the geniuses throughout history I am
most like your grandpa yeah according to
that quiz alright let’s talk let’s
listen to uh we’ve got an advertisement
here if you gonna talk to about one of
our sponsors if that’s okay dr. London
yes yes thank you
babbling all about worms and your
stomach all the time my worms Oh today
we are sponsored by villa villa was a
new streaming service from well how do I
explain this
explain there was this article on Yahoo
Travel about the top 10 breweries in the
country from like 2012 that article is
expanding into a streaming service and
that’s villo
so that’s right now you go to yahoo.com
slash a forward slash 2012 – best –
breweries – in – America – dot html’ and
that’s gonna take you to the multimedia
hub create an account there it’s gonna
have all of our news stream content
content that’s where this podcast is
gonna be hosted that’s that’s where the
because you told me you were gonna take
care of all these details yep it’s villo
the new streaming service from from
based off of the best burgers in America
Yahoo Travel article that is now being
it was so popular it’s now being
expanded into a streaming service and
multimedia hub you can do your taxes on
it well
[Applause]
well yeah that that sounds great I’m not
I’m not quite sure I understand fully
but let’s thank you to our sponsor
traveled Yahoo comms forward slash 12 or
dot html’ that’s gonna take you the
login screen for vilo the new streaming
service / multimedia hub to access this
podcast and also the article those are
the only two things on the streaming
service right now is this podcast and
then the article about the top breweries
in America from 2012 ok so when you say
it’s a multimedia hub okay it’s a little
confusing to me but uh so we’ll just
move on from there do we have any guests
today Cameron I think so I think it’s
just you and me oh wait yeah we do just
in the other yeah we’ve got one guest
okay good yeah that’s like–that’s i
that should be plenty yeah and if
there’s a second guest I’m gonna be
furious okay I’m so tired from when I
took a big breath in yeah I know and you
woke up here where are you having that
tea party with my friends all right dr.
London we’ve got a guest here today
aren’t you excited for it yeah yeah you
said you were bringing in professional
today yeah of someone who’s a little bit
of an expert in the medical community
you’ve probably heard of her we’ve got
mrs. Smith here with us right now wait
you you my mom uh yes yeah I mean
technically yeah wait it’s like I always
told you the hand that rocks the cradle
rules the world yeah
so where’s that in your in your medical
textbook it’s that’s not all this
testimony oh I’m a doctor I’m working on
all these people and I don’t even know
these common phrases well I am so proud
of him that’s the thing and really
whenever I think of
my dedication raising him it I’m telling
you it almost brings tears to my eyes
you know I wish we could just wear in
our common life little outfits with
badges and things like I could have
doctor’s mom like one time I was
homecoming queen it could be a permanent
butcher okay and I don’t mrs. Madison
I’m learning more about medicine right
now than I’ve ever learned listening to
dr. Smith talk well I appreciate it
Cameron did you think maybe you could
have like mentioned like not not to like
I appreciate having my mom around but
it’s not this is sort of a medical show
we usually try to bring on medical
expert yeah he’s more of a medical
expert than the person who raised dr.
Smith do you see how he’s getting a
little nervous and here’s what we need
to do he’s actively mean here’s what we
need to do come calm down breathe London
I want you to breathe just okay do you
notice how we’re how we are connected
when we do this now breathe breathe the
weight yeah okay and that does connect
to our theme for this episode would keep
no swish-swish
do it okay now I’m gonna do it and you
just can continue swish swish swish
never forget whose vagina you came out
of
it’s your strength yeah mm-hmm really I
know so with all this medical school
remember you came from me I gave you
your brain and now you’ve finished
medical school and I have evolved okay
and well I wish I had heard this
conversation before I spent so much
money on medical school I’m sorry you
went to medical school Cameron hell yeah
I did too did you finish Medical School
I mean no I’m sorry but I’m excited
about that what I’d like to announce
is for all the money who cares about how
much money was spent on medical school
because here’s the breakthrough the
Catholic Church is all about and I so
appreciate this they noticed a mother
like Jesus’s mother and I’m telling you
Jesus is perfect but only London
London’s a doctor and me humble as I am
I believe we could have a little church
about transubstantiation
well it’s you know there’s the the
Virgin Mother yes
yeah that’s and that’s a big deal and
I’m not even pretending no virgin here
okay but but really when you think about
it he is a doctor it’s respectable and
you know I’m just a humble servant
I could start a church not the Virgin
Mother just the mother like the MD
mother
oh it’s London’s Mother Church and
here’s what you have to do this is this
is the surprise and why I did the swish
okay let’s do it again ready here we go
get in the zone and here we go tonight
can I do this – yes great yes oh you
know I wasted so much money on medical
adoption papers for you I’ve gotten so
much dad okay everyone tune in okay get
in the zone okay get in the zone wait
first wait a minute
first let’s do that I am The Walrus and
then we’ll all do that you are me and
you know things like that okay we are
veering a woman from no no that’s how
you have to start now where are you
ready for swishing okay it’s like flying
in the air ready okay to the left yes
yes yes okay now okay now if so does
someone have any ailment
I think dr. London does right what about
he had worms in his stomach okay no
that’s actually I was describing her
peristalsis works how moved just food
just moves through our digestive tract
but I told him what I’ve learned from my
medical training is that if you were to
smoke some cigarettes probably kill the
worms okay and that’s actually not true
I should clarify for Allah no
you want to know what the truth is
London I’m gonna tell you and lemons
gonna swish it to me are we ready swoosh
okay the truth is if you are digging in
your yard put on gloves before you plant
in the dirt see this makes sense yeah I
don’t have I don’t have any qualms with
that I maybe something did transfer
they’re serious okay
what wow thank you so much thank you so
much you that’s that’s been a big help
you know if you ever doubt yourself or
wonder whether or not you can do
something you know I’ve taught you this
your whole life and really we should
tell everybody especially our producers
know my son oh ok if you doubt yourself
and and and you’re not you’re not sure
what to do I want you to focus and just
pretend you’re me pretend you’re me
pretend you’re me and then say I can do
it I can do it and then just go on out
there and do it and let me tell you you
see this MD doctor right here that’s how
he got through Medical School yeah that
makes sense that I was you absolutely in
his weakest moments in his weakest I
mean I’m gonna be honest I know he’s an
MD doctor but most of the time I see an
imbecile ok I just say MD mama
absolutely I was about to say the same
thing yeah yeah what well thank you so
much for being on the show and thank you
Cameron for finding my mom to be on the
show
absolutely uh-huh well if that’s if
that’s all you uh if that’s all you have
for us today we’ll go ahead and move on
if that’s all right do you think your
mom would sponsor maybe I’ll make you
out of this debt you’ve dad just any
little bit would help just homey give it
out this I’m going to kick in a pickle
right now is it about money because
London is about money
London is a doctor London is thanks guys
Green yeah well I was dead prez I’m
actually I have my own well let’s go
ahead and move on from there
speaking of money do you have any
sponsors today any other sponsors
besides the uh yeah the sponsor villo
again villo is our streaming service
it’s from the travel.com it’s specific
article article from 2012 about the best
breweries in America that has been
expanded into a kind of multimedia hub
it’s gonna be a blogging service it’s
gonna be you’re able to do your taxes on
on it it’s gonna be kind of like turbo
tax but it’s gonna be hosting this
podcast and all other podcasts that we
might do in the future
okay well that that’s a villa hopefully
travel day yahoo.com forward slash 2012

• best – breweries – in – America – dot
  html’ good you just go there you create
  an account well oh wait excuse me what
  about old people
  what about how would they it’s the same
  with this is a cool thing with the
  technology we have nowadays it’s the
  same website for young people old people
  that could be a bad way you can you can
  be a mobster and it’s gonna be the same
  website you’re just gonna go there
  you’re gonna make an account we’ll get
  back to you in about 2 or 3 days to set
  up the account only Amster can remember
  those numbers and then after you’ll
  you’ll get the confirmation in two or
  three days all right we verify it
  the a hamster could remember better well
  it would take a hamster to think
  something like that up believe that
  somebody would try it would actually
  remember all those doctor let me what do
  you talk a little bit I’m kind of the
  medical science behind hamster memory
  okay well in this the host okay so smart
  Jimmy smart mm-hmm
  okay so actually the we don’t study
  hamster
  you know neurology quietly yes you only
  study worms right I forgot about that
  that’s all you study is worms if you
  would any child who would have played in
  the dirt in his childhood wouldn’t even
  have a problem with worms in medical
  school yeah dr. London’s obsession with
  worms you heard it here first started as
  a child that’s why he keeps bringing it
  up talk about eaten worms ones in your
  stomach okay
  yeah those worms in a stomach for when
  he was a baby okay well this is medicine
  who told you he had a worm in his
  stomach that is the most ridiculous
  thing I’ve ever heard of uh he did just
  a little bit ago okay well liar liar
  pants on fire that’s I’ve been calling
  him a liar for the past few episodes
  it’s just the constant stream of Lies
  I’d I don’t know okay well and once
  again I very much appreciate the input
  here but it’s actually I never never
  made the I’ve made a comparison of how
  our digestive tracts have some
  similarities between with worms well in
  sort of the the appearance in the
  parents probably does you know I could I
  think probably he studied that evolution
  that makes sense he probably thinks we
  came from worms I like I came from
  angels angels and God and mom have you
  ever heard of
  yes swish yes Wow we’re really having a
  moment here now aren’t you glad that we
  brought your mother on London dr. London
  yes very very thankful but maybe we
  could teach it down if you could play
  this thing from the beginning it’s
  really it’s really inspiring me I think
  I might have a word here this is one DJ
  you don’t wanna quit thank you
  Thank You DJ Dylan to hosts once again
  for your contribution see that’s all the
  time that we have folks mrs. Smith thank
  you for coming again thank you mother
  for being on the show Thank You Cameron
  prediction anything just even if you got
  anything in your purse even it does not
  change snacks doesn’t matter what it is
  anything help me out little mints if I
  next time I go to a restaurant I’ll get
  I’ll be sure if you’ll have me back on
  your show so I can talk about my
  development as a medical expert yeah I’m
  a quarter of a million in the hole so
  anything that anything at all even just
  like I mean just you know we’re gonna
  happen it’s like a paint would would
  have anything swish swish is art that’s
  got to be our answer it’s got to be it’s
  the only way we can get the medical
  knowledge see and I learned more by
  learning swishing than I’ve ever learned
  from dr. London’s babbling about oh
  you’re a podiatrist if you could if you
  could contact him he’ll hope help you
  help put a stethoscope up to your
  pancreas and figure out your insulin
  levels this is what dr. Linda talks
  about all the time thank you dude you’re
  doing the house as well and I guess
  that’s all the time we have for today
  thank you for listening to the podcast
  this is jock doc and if you go to
  Facebook Twitter Instagram
  we are jock doc podcast if you liked
  that episode please like and subscribe
  and leave a five-star review thank you
  and goodbye
  see ya
  [Music]
  you
  [Applause]

When we met for this episode, the plans were vague. I knew that we should make a podcast, if only because I laugh so hard when I am with these friends, and no one else seems able to keep up with our humor like this group can.

Cameron was in the midst of buying a house, so he had not looked at the group text for a few weeks, which meant that he had no idea what we were planning. So I told him to play dumb as the producer who keeps me relevant, and therefore holds some amount of power over the content covered in the podcast, and we suggested that he do a fake ad that undermines whatever I am saying.

I had several pages of clinical notes that I had used for an oral presentation about rhabdomyolysis, and I assumed that I could just reference that if I ran into trouble with the medical lesson. Aside from that, I just typed up a very basic intro of a few sentences and confirmed that Cassie had something for us (which she did not share in advance). The rest was improvised. If you listen for it, you can also hear us mispronounce the name of the podcast, because we had only figured out the name a few minutes before we started recording.

The episode begins with Dr. London Smith (.com) introducing the Jock Doc Podcast, then beginning to talk about the medical topic. Within the first five minutes, the fake advertisement for Muber begins, in which Cameron instructs the listener to use this “medical uber” to get to the hospital rather than calling 911. During this time, Dr. London has also begun telling the story of a patient encounter at the ER fisting himself before trying to steal an ambulance, and Cameron interrupts to clarify what Dr. London means. After significant stuttering, Dr. London asks what word was giving Cameron trouble, and his reply was “ambulance”. So Dr. London begins explaining the concept and use of an ambulance.

At this point, the listener becomes acutely aware of the fact that Cameron is not an ideal representative of the average listener, either in terms of intelligence or reason.

The conversation continues until Cassie Walker’s character joins the dialogue. She introduces herself as Sage Daniels, with a monologue about something “spiritually birthing” inside of her that would make the average listener cringe. She goes on to share about her pyramid scheme of Spiritual Oils, which she describes as being made of raisin oil. On further elaboration, this “raisin oil” simply sounds like wine. She goes on to share tidbits like how she had just given birth three days beforehand and is also using her deceased husband to attempt to market to the afterlife. At one point, Cameron and Dr. London both imbibe some of the Spiritual Oils and have a shared hallucination of “911”, which was a callback to earlier in the episode when Cameron tries to have Dr. London come up with a mnemonic to help people remember those three numbers. They also read listener question which turns out to simply be a junk email that Cameron insists that Dr. London answer in a medically informed fashion. Following these, the episode ends.

After this episode was recorded, we listened back while cooking dinner. During the recording, we all thought we were terrible. After we listened back, however, I was absolutely convinced that we needed to take this seriously and actually try hard. We were better than most of my favorite podcasts! My only reservation was that I felt less funny as the host, but I would later read interviews with Scott Aukerman who suffers the same fate, and I have since learned to embrace whatever opportunity I have to set others up to make jokes.