All posts by London Smith

36: Deep Venous Thrombosis/Escape This Podcast

Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice if you need medical

advice or medical care please contact

your doctor welcome to the Jock Doc

Podcast featuring Dr. London Smith

follow the Jock Doc Podcast on Pinterest

Dr. London loves posting stuff

introducing your host dr. London hello

and welcome to the Jock Doc Podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host Dr. London

Smith (.com) I’d like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the use of

overly complicated medical terminology

such as microcephaly and rough

Valentine’s Day so I will try to speak

in a more simplified manner in the

future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron Hey Hey

so sorry Cameron who’s all right Shane

you just want to press that button you

want to press the that button right

there Shane press it hold on you know

just want to press it press it harder

okay okay press it louder okay shake it

a little

okay now you I don’t think you’re

supposed okay yeah and that’s I think

this is gonna be the ultimate audio

experience okay great okay so this this

is a little bit confusing so Cameron’s

our producer that’s who was just talking

Shane is that Shane Fleg yeah it is yes

why so why is Shane here he was a

previous guest on episode I want to say

10 or something and he was talking about

climate change being a hoax or a scam or

something why so Shane why are you here

today well you know I I

liked being on the show last time it was

you know a lot of fun I always have fun

educating people and so I thought I

would just come back and you know get a

little bit of experience in the podcast

realm I’m kind of looking to start my

own someday so Cameron was nice enough

to allow me to come back and kind of you

know shadow him yeah Shane and I we we

share a Pinterest account we do and so

you know so we’re pinning a lot of the

same stuff kind of back and forth

well you share the account itself yeah

yeah yeah we we shared the account well

I have the password he has the username

so it takes both of us to log in yeah

and so we it’s sort of like you know how

like a nuclear code situation well yeah

I was gonna say the coca-cola recipe but

I think it’s along the same lines yeah

either/or and so you know we’re sharing

a Pinterest account I’m seeing that he’s

pinning all of these things about audio

equipment and podcasting and learning

how to be sort of a superstar producer

intern type so I thought what a great

opportunity to kind of bring them under

our wings I teach them a little bit I

mean we I that just doesn’t sound okay

yeah okay okay no that’s that’s alright

I guess as long as Shane you can kind of

keep in the background maybe try not to

you know I guess disturbed too much

because really what we’re trying to

focus especially you know with this new

year I guess we’re well into it now but

trying to focus on educating and

teaching you know I’m not really one to

be held back by a leash so I don’t

really like that feel but you know I

like being upfront honest so I’m gonna

go ahead and tell you that so that’s

kind of how it is with me but I will

respect I will respect your podcast so

does a ton of in tech just remember that

I have potential so just keep that in

mind

so Shana’s has established himself as

sort of a very aggressive sound engineer

you know a lot of sound engineer

there’s a lot of producers might kind of

sit in the background well they’re like

recording an album or something like

that preferably an has sort of

established this kind of new format

where hey maybe I’m in the mix a little

more well yeah I mean if you bring me on

you’re bringing me on and everything

that I’m about you know so I’m not going

to pretend to be you know an intern even

though that’s what I mean what I am you

know okay oh well I guess I guess we’ll

just have to work with it this time also

with this is did you do him the hose

[Music]

this is going to be the ultimate audio

experience this is gonna be the ultimate

audio experience

[Music]

just remember that I have potential so

just keep that in mind

[Music]

this is one DJ you don’t want to f**** with

hey oh well we want to do that every

five minutes or so okay yeah okay sure

okay

it helps to balance the the sort of the

energy of the podcast go ahead look Dr.

London okay and I guess maybe Shane will

be learning from DJ Dylan as well I

don’t yes sure anyway

and later Cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest that’s right all

right so before we move on I would like

to address some some listener feedback

so I found this bit of feedback heated

into the side of my car as I left the

hospital today

it says quote I don’t sew on buttons

that’s what velcro’s for and the quote

so – this listener first of all think

you saw the old the adage from the old

country well I mean I

it’s about Velcro I don’t know how old

country that is oh that’s a saying I

mean I’ve heard that saying goes back to

Socrates I’m not exactly sure I’m not a

scientist so I don’t know those things

but you know it’s just sort of you know

what means why am I gonna sew on a

button when there’s velcro yeah okay

well that that is why go the complicated

old-school way rather than embracing the

new you know you could learn a thing or

two from these messages scratch in your

car dr. London yeah okay and yeah maybe

I may be a good I’ve in the future I

preferred like maybe you just you know

sent it to our like message our social

media sent to her email any of that but

I didn’t do anything

don’t say you I didn’t do anything yeah

I’m sorry I I was trying to address the

listener but Shane did I’m sorry Shane

don’t make this on me no don’t put this

on me I don’t even I don’t have a key

I don’t have any keys that is true yeah

okay I leave my doors unlocked and I

ride a bike

okay yeah I good then there’s no lock on

the bike

yeah there’s no lock on the bike no

locks on the doors I took them off you

know I like the idea of just kind of

being more open

I really like the that kind of vibe you

know and if somebody wants something

well they can come in and get it and

then they have to put it back though

that’s my rules I I put the rules on a

sign next to my door

Shan Shan Shan saw an open-concept house

mm-hmm

you know where there’s very little space

or walls blocking off the areas between

the kitchen and the living room and

whatnot and he said how do I make that

my lifestyle well and I think I think

the biggest thing was when I was a kid I

went with my parents to look for a house

to buy and like a lot of the houses that

we looked at it said open house and like

there’s just people in there

and like you could just walk in and you

know I don’t know whoever owned it and

lived there or whatever they were just

you know hanging out with all these

strangers so I thought that was pretty

cool not always stuck with me so yeah

really like yeah I really like the open

house concept well I think and you say

when you were a kid how long ago was

that oh just the typical length you know

from adult to kid exactly yeah wait you

went from $1 to kid well no I mean

although when I was a kid people you

know based on my my knowledge and my wit

you know people thought I was more like

an adult so I guess in a way you could

say that but now Havas you know just a

kid to an adult and Benjamin Button okay

or something you know right right okay

well so I guess to that listener my

answer would be that my understanding is

that both velcro and buttons have their

potential their places in a given

person’s outfit and attire so if that

aligned the buttons go on cool people

and the velcro goes on nerds

I thought but what about swimsuits uh

yeah yeah sure okay so nerds cool people

and swimsuits those three categories

that are kind of a Venn diagram meets

right there mm-hmm

so anyway with with all those things in

mind I myself would tend to lead more

towards buttons because I actually

dislike the sound of velcro like that

the sound that it makes but teach their

own to this listener thank you and we

look forward to hearing from you again

now for a tale from surgery and Cameron

before I share this I have heard your

complaints before it may be I seem to

poke fun at patients too much but this

anecdote I feel like this is a little

bit more to your liking so great yeah so

we had a patient who had parently they

had run through a plate glass window

headfirst and you know unlike in sort of

the movies and comedy things that you

may have seen it you know instead of it

being funny it just sliced through his

forehead and it was whoa

okay pretty good though well it was

quite there’s a lot of blood

but any case hole how much I I’m not

sure how much is it okay well so it

happened with like an EMT there I wasn’t

actually on the scene with it but in any

case so that patient was brought in and

you know getting the local anesthesia

the injections in the head with needles

oh and so he was obviously in a lot of

pain Oh however he suddenly shifted

positions slightly and said this stuff

goes right through me and then he

fluctuated which is more commonly known

as farting

he farted right there the stuff goes

right through me and so as you can

imagine it had all of us laughing we had

to take a moment to get our laughs out

before once again sticking needles into

the patient’s head that’s disgusting

though laughter no but stuff you’re

talking about gross flatulence and

unsanitary this is supposed to be a

hospital well it’s you can’t always

control what a patient does when I go to

the hospital from a weekly ear cleaning

I’m dealing with these doctors who are

being flagellated all over dr. London

this is disgusting everything was

hilarious the running through the glass

window and cutting up his face no that

that sounds good to me that didn’t sound

so good this other stuff is so oh and oh

it’s so a mature coming from you I

thought this was a show for adults okay

and you know we tried I just thought

that would be that’s not that’s the

patient was making the joke not us I

thought that would be yeah you’re like

that’s your kind of humor I guess is

that kind of disgusting you know giving

people a reason to a reason to question

the entire medical field well I go to

the hospital if we’re not gonna deal

with actual professionals but yeah go

ahead

okay well now for today’s medical topic

deep venous thrombosis deep venous

thrombosis is when a person develops a

blood clot in one of the deep veins of

the leg it is associated with a

hypercoagulable state venous stasis

which means a slowing down of blood flow

in the veins and endothelial injury or

injury to the wall of the blood vessel

clinically it can present without

symptoms so a symptomatically or with

lower extremity pain and swelling and

maybe with a palpable cord at the

location of the vein or it can even just

present with fever

it is also highly associated with

pulmonary embolism so patients can

present with shortness of breath or

difficulty breathing as well as other

serious breathing and cardiac

complications treatment depends on the

complications but generally with deep

venous thrombosis also known as just DVT

focus ET that’s what I was I was hoping

that’s what you’re talking about yeah I

know it on the streets we know it as DVT

but you know yeah you’re in medical

school and all that they teach you that

like flu C word for it but yeah and

Shana you just want to press that button

right there yeah okay oh you want to

press that button right over there and

then do you see that target on the wall

you want to hit you want to throw the

ball and hit that target if you count

how hard just as hard as you would need

to get it to reach the target

okay okay good okay go ahead dr. London

is that how to do this sound it’s how to

get sort of the optimal over this is a

new sort of thing called 3b sound it’s

sort of a newer technology yes they’re

like stereo or no no no this is a 3d

stereo this is 3d sound it’s actually

dynamic in the sense that it is able to

calculate sort of the objects in the

room and then the sound it puts out

factors that end so when it reaches your

ear it’s more specific than your normal

like surround sound and it actually new

technology it actually should be called

4d but the reason they call it 3d is

because we already have this perception

that sound is in 3d when actually it’s

just in 2d but 3d sounds should be

called 40 because what we’re actually

dealing with is the material of

space-time is being is part of this now

so that’s that’s how the 3d sound works

it’s like if you have a drawing on a

piece of paper versus you know the real

3d version of it imagine that but sound

making it 4d and also 4d I think is

mostly associated with the

for D spongebob rollercoaster ride oh

yeah yeah sorry like one of those

theaters where the seats move around

right right right but the sound the

sound is in for T that’s the new thing

there see yep but and so scientists are

really really investigating this sort of

insane technological breakthrough that’s

been discovered in the Sponge Bob 4d Six

Flags ride yeah it’s crazy it’s you know

a lot of people think you know the

entertainment industry is just you know

just a bunch of rubbish it’s not you

know it’s not gonna help the scientific

community but lo and behold you know

every once in a while they really hit it

out of the park and I think spongebob

did that with our greatest our greatest

scientists really not even our

scientists our archaeologists are poring

over this for d6 flex experience and

seeing what kind of natural miracles

they can they can conjure up you know

what what are these things these

inexplainable things that we can sort of

tap into and learn about the our own

human experience through it all right

okay well and then it seems like a good

just to finish up here so treatment

depends on the complications but

generally with a deep venous thrombosis

or DVT it’s generally focused towards

breaking up the clot in patients with

massive pulmonary embolism they also

focus on anticoagulation to prevent

clots from developing further and also

they potentially stent you stent

placements as well sorry it’s women to

make sure that we we you know give the

listeners what they’re really here for

which is that medical lesson yeah it’s

an information machine can I get a a

really high-pitched noise just to

calibrate the the trouble yeah the

electronics aren’t ready but here

there we go okay okay and now get low

give me give me a low give me the low

there it is okay okay so I could go oh

you’re ready to start now

oh well then give me a whoop whoop Oh

whoop whoop there we go okay I guess I

guess we can we can move on from there

then all right Cameron you said that we

had a we have a guest today is it yes do

dr. London he’s a guest Shane or well

Shane is not a guest Shane is sort of I

work here now ee he’s more of a guru

I like okay that’s true and a savant

really he’s more of a savant a style

guru

okay our guests are our guests they have

a guest hello hello oh hi that’s us yeah

so my name is dr. London smith.com

this is a producer Cameron and houses

this is Shane Shane flag his especially

you Shane yeah so I am a guru I’m my

name is Bill and and here we have a

showman very high so we’re from we are

from another podcast we’re from escape

this pod cutter and so yeah and look we

figured we’d come on because we have a

fairly appropriate thing for you dr.

London I’m sure that that camera and

Shane can help but we have a fun

scenario that we want to lock you in and

not let you out until you solve all of

our fiendish puzzles okay I mean Cameron

has within the podcast kidnapped me

before and put me into an unknown place

and I oh great so this will what great

you’ve got experience i dr. Lynn and I

can sort of explain this to you a little

bit so I had met bill and Danny down the

street at a barbecue I would I mean I

was cooking over a trash can right up

and asked me to stop that because of the

smell so they told me about this really

cool idea

it sounded a lot like saw like the movie

saw okay and I thought that would be

kind of cool to do on the podcast I okay

I didn’t see the movie saw but that was

a horror film correct like a gory yeah

sure okay

okay well I guess hopefully doesn’t turn

bad okay well hello to uh to our guests

bill and Danny was it yes

so look generally the soar thing is

pretty accurate but we figured today we

try something slightly different we’ve

actually developed a bit of experimental

technology or at least we know the

person who did which will allow you to

really experience medicine in a much

more hands-on way and we thought who

else other than dr. London would really

appreciate getting real nitty-gritty

with the world of human physiology and

medicine okay and so we couldn’t really

pass up the opportunity that sounds

great yeah so any moment now you’ll see

the black vans approaching your

residence okay yeah it’s okay you can

trust them just go on go on

hello worried it’ll go in look okay just

look I’ll give I’m on the phone with him

max just wave wait see the guy waving

yeah huh that yeah tinted windows that’s

fine you can ease inside are these

different people then usually now you’ll

spook him

yeah if you keep waving he’ll drive away

oh you didn’t need to get into the van

now hands are down now do I so I walk

towards him then just walk to a place in

the car sorry all right backwards okay

everyone’s got their side that’s what

put a sack in your house exactly

okay I don’t like it I kind of like it

there you go

yeah that’s the spirit yeah this is

Cameron’s nightly routine all right

you’re in the car yeah yeah I think I

it’s hard to see honestly but yes I

think so

alright that’s okay I think that

is going to be in there with you so

she’ll start talking any moment now sure

she’ll give you the proper explanation

huh hello Doctor hello I don’t know if

you recognize my voice or not I’m dr.

Kendra severe Oh

you may have heard you may have heard my

name obviously I’m quite high up in the

employ of the government right I think

I’ve seen you speak at conferences of

course but my current work is quite

hush-hush so you understand the need for

secrecy and the bags over your heads

well I guess just keep explaining cuz I

know the answer I get the bags on the

heads why’d you have to put our feet in

like a wet bucket that just seemed

unnecessary and it’s coke some holes in

the bag no that’s that’s a fish bath

that was a favor they’re gonna eat away

the dead skin on your feet it’s a big

cleansing thing about it so mine just

has coral his has fish money’s tight

okay let me be blunt medicine is no

longer as simple as it was in the old

days and neither is spying it’s been a

long time since it was just men in

trench coats and dark glasses obviously

we still like the old ways but not all

of our enemies do now it’s all about

technology it’s all hacking mainframes

Trojans malware all of those words and

it’s not just your computers that can

get targeted well sorry to interrupt but

I do know some men with trench coats and

dark glasses who are into spying but I

don’t think it’s the kind of spying

you’re talking about

hmm yes I’ve heard about this anyway go

ahead now I don’t have any nice way to

put this we have been compromised we’re

not about to be compromised we have been

already someone has gotten in I don’t

know how much information they’ve stolen

already but they have at their disposal

every assignment that we have ever been

involved with if and when they choose

they can take every piece of top-secret

medical research and destroy the future

of not only our team but possibly the

health of our country

that doesn’t sound good and what country

is that all of them now here’s the thing

they didn’t get their information off of

our computers because obviously we have

top-secret security on those this is far

more complex they got the information

from me I I didn’t give it to them

willingly what you told I didn’t give it

to them at all well they’re taking it

from me they’ve put something inside me

some sort of destructive nano bot I can

see it on scans moving around inside my

body trying to work its way to my brain

where it wants to steal everything I

know then I believe it plans to kill me

look the way you look I told you you

should have made the bags less

see-through yeah they’re really I don’t

know why the bags were made into a big

deal cuz it’s really just more like a

mesh sort of like a laundry basket type

of mesh bag Oh somebody’s typed yeah

just like a basketball hoop really yeah

I don’t know it’s fashionable as hell if

you want it a little bit it tastes

pretty good like I’ve already eaten mine

off yeah this is kind of a positive

experience for me so far thank you

doctor because keep traveling and

eventually you wind up at a very black

site medical security looking place you

know medical security that’s the words I

wanted yeah okay and you step out you

are escorted in past several security

checkpoints and dr. Sevilla leaves you

for a moment and when she comes back

she’s not wearing a lab coat but a

hospital gown are you guys hearing this

narration or is this just am I thinking

this I think it’s the 40 sound thing

okay good okay we’re good

all right so doctor and friends uh I

don’t know if here’s what we’re going to

do I’m going to anesthetize myself and

shrink you down to microscopic size and

then through a special opening in my eye

you will travel to my brain and find the

narrow bot and destroy it but please

don’t destroy anything important I

haven’t had time since finding all this

out to properly record everything I know

ah if I die before getting that chance

we’ll lose years of progress so can we

figure out what’s important first like

do you care about the part of your brain

that like

knows how to paint and like those

memories of childhood that were just

heartbreaking yeah your current memory

like you’re going through a

drive-through and you know you already

know what you want and so you don’t

really look in the menu yeah I mean save

my favorite okay the quadruple quarter

pounder from swanky’s grease pit this is

just like a advertising for shuang keys

great spread inception moment we’re

gonna get in there and insert the

memories of your favorite Frankie’s

grease pit foods yeah which don’t mean

his shoes does bring us to the next part

can we implant things too along with

destroying we don’t have that technology

yeah only our enemies can implant things

we haven’t figured that out yet as you

come in I’m going to get this done

please just take a look around you’ll

see that this is the medical table the

operating table that I’ll be lying on

there’s a panel of medical equipment

right here beside me um I’ve got a

bright light shining from the ceiling

down on my face and let’s just write

anesthesia going just add a few install

right you putting this on insta light

well well like all good spies would yes

like Kim Kardashian’s mirror you know

where points all the light directly on

you and beautify is everything all right

so if you just head into that that dome

sort of area over there that’s the

special resizing chamber and there’ll be

a vessel in there waiting for you now

does it is a kind of a private question

but it does it resizes all of us are

like no parts it’s not gonna be just

proportional we L everything okay okay

under control okay good I mean before we

before we kind of set off on this this

voyage and you know you’re being put

down on a table do you end up like put

on some music or anything uh I mean I’m

just um oh the anesthetics

all right we ready okay let’s go in you

head into the resizing chamber and the

door automatically shuts behind you and

starts doing a countdown and you and the

vessel that is in there with you gets

smaller smaller until everything in the

room is so huge you can’t make out forms

or features

all right you hop into the vessel and

being expert pilots as well as doctors

that you are mmm you fly into it you

follow a marked path that goes up to a

long tube all the way across the room

and it finishes up at dr. severes eye

through a specially made hole that leads

you straight into the pupil you have a

go you flied through the eye Oh like you

you’ve really got to make use of those

windscreen wipers mm-hmm oh you know

what I feel like there’s so many bugs in

here this is what happens when you

actively make a hole in the cornea taste

okay you fly through you go past the

past or through the optic nerve it’s a

bit hard to tell at this magnification

but you end up in side a stream of

capillaries and things like that and

you’re wandering occasional you reach

points where it’s too narrow even for

your tiny vessel to get through but

eventually you reach something you stare

at your surroundings and you find

yourself at an enormous organ that is

twitching with electrical impulses that

are flying everywhere this is the brain

okay and chairman is something like this

at his house so as you say large palsy

electrical impulses that’s kind of like

I mean the road you have to call it a

rig and not just sort of a series of

extension cords that are plugged into

one another sort of in a constant loop

that I call it a perpetual motion

machine but I don’t know what that means

so I don’t know if that’s an accurate

descriptor I’m sorry anyway so what are

we looking at

is without a doubt the brain and there’s

no nano bot here it hasn’t reached the

brain yet it hasn’t stolen any

information no job is done now there are

special suits that you can wear inside

this vessel if you want to get out and

take a look and as you do sir a buzz

comes from your pocket but why are they

so far the suits I don’t think they

needed to be Gucci that seems like an

unnecessary expense I’m not complaining

they look I mean they look fly as hell

well the thing is Gucci actually works

for the government as well they get a

special deal it’s actually the cheapest

brand that’s what the G and Gucci stands

for government under contraband custom I

mean these are words that with those

letters government under contraband

custom international yes this is what

Gucci stands well that’s what that makes

so much sense I what we don’t come

together now I guess I mean I knew I had

a feeling at least ok so put on this

joy’s if it up to the neck or all the

way to the chin oh absolutely

oh yeah can you zip me up doctor love me

your neck and your chin aren’t in the

same place oh that’s gonna be weird

oh yeah yours goes up the side huh

Cameron yeah thank you

mm-hmm why does it have such like a

swooping neckline because you never know

who you’re going to meet in here yeah I

guess that’s true

anyway you feel a buzz come from your

pocket it’s your very own phone there is

an app that is just a regular Bluetooth

using app but it’s opened up on all on

its own and different than usual yes

very interesting maybe maybe it was

taken out of your pocket on the car trip

okay but anyway my sim card well the

ones that are currently working message

on screen I’ve got it it says attach to

sync there’s I don’t see a sink in here

mmm I supposed to pour water on it no

I’m sorry that’s sy n C okay okay

synchronization yes okay okay do I so do

i plug it into the pulsating mass here

it’s a bit odd but that seems to be what

you’re supposed to do and as you press

your phone up against some brain a

signal seems to shoot through it fun

goes wild and suddenly this app is

showing you a diagram of a body whoa dr.

safir’s body it’s highlighting several

areas and a key on the bottom tells you

that those highlighted spots are high

chance of damage perhaps that means the

nano bot has been to those places you

see on the diagram the heart the large

intestine the spinal cord a lung a

kidney the gallbladder and a lymph node

dr. London these are all the things that

you talk about on the podcast yeah it’s

an odd connection here so is the lymph

node the heart the kidneys the lungs

gall bladder yes okay hot the large

intestine the spinal cord did we get

that one no spinal cord as well yep

along a kidney gall bladder and lymph

node you also see the stomach but it’s

highlighted in a different color and the

key tells you that this means direct

path obstructed now what colors that

means

oh that’s gunky brown okay good okay

donkey I have okay hmm perhaps you can’t

travel straight there if the direct path

is obstructed but now that you’ve made

it this far and you essentially have a

map so getting to the others all looks

pretty straightforward if you would like

to yeah I am so I’m just I don’t really

know much about medicine doctor limit I

know you’ve been sort of trying to teach

me and guide me from this podcast but

I’m on my phone most of the time you

know that you see me you know you have

you you’re you got to be in charge here

a little bit right doctor lending your

thumb right right was this okay

how to get to this nano bot or no I

guess where the nanobot is where nanobot

is how to block the nanobot from

reaching the brain how to fight a nano

bot and then how to implant memories as

we gonna ride them nano bot is like a

horse with us being this size you know

it could be I mean it could be monstrous

to us so we better be careful when we

find it you know and we never know what

those things are capable of if they have

you know any kind of AI capabilities

which I’m sure they do

Haylee jaws man right okay

so I guess we the next step would be to

do we hop back in the bus is that the

way we have a list of places now that a

high chance of damage okay yeah to get

to them okay a list of choices what I

would you like to go I would like to go

so I think in general we want to start

to go to the main spot right the heart

because then if we follow the blood from

the heart that’ll take us to everything

including let’s say the the kidneys

where you know urine is filtered and

then it goes from there to the bladder

which is where Shane great great start

great start yeah that’s that would be

terrific if we could just yeah let’s go

to the heart but let’s just pass through

quickly

you know let’s see the sights okay

okay so let’s head to the heart you have

never seen a heart from this perspective

before not even once

but even you can tell that this is not

right it well the only word you can come

up for what you see is that it looks

like some of the heart is shedding

there’s a strange layer of dark cells

kicked around the ventricles and they’re

steadily being cast off and are floating

around towards you did the nanobot do

this taking a look at one of these weird

cells you see it’s of a size that would

fit in the palm of your hand and it’s

shaped like a very deep cup can I adopt

one of the cells as sort of a pet it it

would give you no greater pleasure in

fact why stop at one okay yes we resize

them when we come back hmm I want to

adopt a couple cells and I want to take

a couple I want to take a couple more

not for adoption purposes but for their

meat right resized Oaks those could be

real good add them to your inventory

I’m very rare admittedly it yeah

the myocardium is my oh that means that

means muscle okay I’m gonna get to sell

pets to sells for meat let’s name the

pets real quick don’t you get a name

okay how about chunk ler okay chunk

color shane can you name one clot bob

bot bot okay okay it sounds a lot like

nano bot which could be confusing later

but i guess we’ll just hold maybe oh

maybe it’s just the secret twist ending

mmm okay so it’s chunk learn bot yes we

have that established in terms of these

I guess I’m wondering okay the approach

here so these dead cells are breaking

off from the inside of the ventricle

mm-hmm what that tells me is that

there’s not enough oxygen flow okay okay

so the way I mean can we can we scrape

off further do we see anything around

that could maybe

be a direct cause of this or is it gone

now it’s no it’s awfully hard to tell

you no not really at the best angle for

a proper medical examination right okay

yeah see that is the issue for me is I’m

used to being in a much different angle

and slightly larger than I am now

well can we this is a learning process

can we look at the heart from a

different vantage point or go deeper

into the heart I’m not sure this is

about all that you’d be willing to risk

without doing any actual damage to it

more than now it’s already been damaged

what if we don’t care about the damage

we caused that’s unfortunate because

then you weren’t get paid oh there’s a

good paycheck here okay well then oh no

don’t tell dr. London about the paycheck

I know that I’m a I know that I’m just

an intern but I better be getting paid

cuz this is more dangerous than I

thought plus I really gotta pee ya know

Shan Shan you and I are gonna get paid

dr. London thinks this is like a

volunteer thing oh yeah

it is yeah yeah it’s a volunteer thing

oh yeah so no paychecks okay so um I

guess next weekend we can move on maybe

to the kidney the left kidney is the one

that’s noted on your phone’s diagram or

so you are you can definitely speed off

there and right away you can tell that

there is something wrong you know what

the function of the kidneys is you’ve

already gone through that filtering

blood getting all the waste and extra

stuff out but that doesn’t seem to be

working

something presumably the nanobot has

infected the blood in this kidney so

thoroughly that it’s unable to filter

dark foul looking blood is swirling

around leaving a tainted mark on

everything it touches well you’d have

thought the body’s natural immune

defenses would have been able to deal

with the problem like this but evidently

not they’re too weak hmm well when when

the blood is dark it can mean a lot of

things but I know you know once again

when I was a kid I had to go to the

hospital because I had eaten 17 Sharpie

markers just the inside of them you know

and my kidneys were very black they they

had to take a look and they said that

the inside of my kidneys was black so I

know that’s one possibility not rule it

out right it could be ink so doctor

severe might have swallowed a lot of ink

that is definitely a possibility

what do I say wait sorry dr. London when

you say left kidney do you mean my left

or stage left and what is stage left

both stage left which is your left

ironically enough okay are you on stage

yeah but but if you’re not on stage your

stage left is not the same as my stage

left yes but all the world’s a stage so

every left is technically stage left

yes yep that’s it okay you’ve so you’ve

cracked the code so you I think they’re

real cool gonna be ashame you are

dancing round the walk so you see where

they go scan tries to go through a

filter there and the the it becomes

clear you can probably pee in that

little hole there oh yeah yeah yeah okay

okay

notice yeah okay okay so you’re finding

relief but so it sounds like we need to

move on from here as well because really

the damage has already been done and

it’s already on its way

so and now just a little more damage

what do you think happened here well it

looks from what I’m guessing all the the

taint and everything going through it

something was working on maybe even the

inside the blood vessels possibly but

it’s leaving this this taint behind so

usually for something to do that it’d

have to be within the blood and then

because the blood flow is passing

through everything from the blood would

be you know leaving that mark leaving a

taint behind I that’s the word used I

believe yeah okay yeah a little darker I

yes attained alright I guess from here

we could go to

ooh maybe the spinal cord that’s pretty

close by that’s where the real magic

happens you steal your vessel along the

vertebrae and come to a stop at the

point highlighted by your phone shielded

by the vertebra and spinal disk and a

little tangle of nerves and then you’ve

got the spinal cord itself on a very

very inside of all that it’s a stretch

but there are two gaps that you could

potentially reach an arm through to

touch the spinal cord one on the left

one on the right okay I mean I’d be

afraid of damaging well I’ve always

wanted to touch a spinal cord do you

want to reach do you want to reach for

the right eye reach for the left and

then we just kind of like give it give

it a shake yeah yeah sure yeah yeah sure

you reach in both of you and you give it

a nudge and nothing happens the spinal

cord doesn’t seem to respond to your

touch even if you grab on to it as best

you can and try to give it a shake

apparently it needs something with a bit

more oomph behind it to make it feel it

I’ve got to say this is a bad sign her

spinal cord could be dead that might be

part of the problem that might be why

she’s asleep yeah I think it was the the

anesthesia that made her go to sleep

yeah maybe so maybe a little of both

right okay so it needs a bigger kick

that’s the problem now I don’t know if

how fast does this bus go what was that

like can we smash the bus into it I

think the vertebrae might smash your bus

before you can press the cord it can’t

fit through is that the problem yeah I

mean the bus can’t

yeah the vertebrae let’s at least try

honking for a second okay Shane can you

honk a little bit yeah okay anything it

ignores you you know how like a

high-pitched sound can break a glass

like blowing a trumpet at a glass I

think that’s a you know that was a good

idea yeah okay well so I’m not seeing

much happening here and I don’t know it

we do we have any supplies with us that

might smash it or should we just move on

from this

I brought some gum that can fix it

absolutely hit that seems to be a

solution for a different problem it’s

just like Zee bad breath like zebra

commit just it’s more like bubble gum so

it’s not gonna help my breath at all if

anything it’s just gonna make it stink

like bubble gum incidentally did dr.

sevilla mention how long the shrinking

lasts I don’t think so yeah like I don’t

know I kind of zoned out after a while

and I was really groovin out to

apologize by OneRepublic when that

kicked on now that you now that the

thought has crossed your mind you’re

just sort of looking down at your hands

and you swear that it might totally be

in your head but you think your hands

are getting bigger

finally sure you don’t wanna get stuck

in here if it wears off that would be if

it wears out food fast enough then we’ll

be okay

okay so it sounds like we need to do

something about this so I guess we just

need to move on really so let’s go ahead

and move on to the large intestine from

here

you float your vessel down the marked

path to the large intestine and as you

arrive at the spot indicated on your

phone ooh you find you can’t quite get

all the way there the path is um clogged

up maybe it’s because of the nano BOTS

you hope it’s because of the nano BOTS

but the body is supposed to sweep this

stuff away but it’s as if that’s

switched off as far as you can detect

there is no peristalsis happening here

and for listeners peristalsis is the

body’s for the digestive tracts the

natural squeezing motion that pushes

food through you know in the proper

direction from the mouth to the anus

yeah part maker right so okay so it

looks like this path has been blocked so

maybe we should try the gallbladder if

we can if that if there’s a possible way

to go to that hmm

okay so you skim through the Buddy at

breakneck speed the goal blood is pretty

far away from where you are right now so

you have to travel a bit faster than

would otherwise be recommended zero

thing you zoom towards it and oh you

missed but you did make it into the goal

bladder

via the gaping hole that you just

created that sounds right again I want

to stress I don’t care about the damage

that we caused well the gall bladder

yeah it holds bile that flows into the

stomach when it’s needed and that hole

that you’ve made that’s just sent it

into overdrive the whole organ is

spasming it’s shootin bile all over the

place down to the stomach out the hole

into the rest of the body this is a

disaster now the gall bladder could be a

great long winded detour to the stomach

but you won’t be able to make it there

until you fix this hole and this

flooding issue doctor ceballos life may

well depend on this so can we look

around for anything in the area that

could that could help us to plug this up

or any um any way to salutely nothing

all you’ve got is this huge towering

flood of bile that’s going everywhere

yeah it doesn’t seem good and I guess

the buckets would only hold so much okay

can I call my mom I miss her no I know

the reception is very strange down here

you’re still going to set up your SIM

card oh yeah the card thing still yeah

okay so I would like to go through here

to the stomach but since we don’t really

know of a way to patch this up can we

just ditch this and go to the lymph node

yep you again obviously this is gonna

need to be a very fast journey now

because things are going more and more

wrong by the minute okay yes the lymph

node that makes sense

there’ll be white blood cells there but

should be able to destroy something

invasive like a nano but maybe fix some

of the other problems that are going on

you’re surprised that they haven’t been

released into the body already okay I

shoot I shoot a bite blood cell with the

gun that I brought

okay well actually when you reach this

lymph node that you’re after you can see

exactly what the problem is the narrow

bot has definitely been here because you

can see the white blood cells but they

are trapped by some sort of barred metal

barricade and that’s how the nanobots

survived so long it’s been putting

obstacles in the paths of the white

blood cells that could kill it and

without white blood cells dr. severe is

obviously on a fast track to death

practically you search around for some

way to remove the barricade and on the

side of it you find what you think is a

lever but when you pull on it it comes

all the way off you examine it and it

reminds you a bit of a balloon pump

perhaps it was a piece of the Nano bot

perhaps the white blood cells managed to

tear a piece off it before it barricaded

them in okay mm-hmm most herpes off of

it so can I try pumping this thing well

the barricade is just metal so there’s

nowhere to stick it in plug that thing

in okay we just need to find the thing

that the lever goes into obviously okay

and I’m guessing I’m guessing does that

open the the metal barricades is it like

a gate type situation maybe that he’s

holding back the blood cells with you’d

think so yeah that doesn’t seem to be

any way that you can see to actually

open this barricade right it doesn’t

look like yeah you thought it was a

lever for the barricade but it doesn’t

seem to actually have any connection to

it whatsoever

okay I’m usually good at thinking yeah

oh god I dropped the gun it shot another

chunk clerk baby jump clear oh he’s

bleeding it’s not like you can bleed

anymore yeah that’s not really doing

anything

I don’t also don’t really care I didn’t

really form any emotional bond with no

but his cup shape is slightly ruined the

droopier yeah if you were to try and

fill his cup shape now it would just

leak through the bullet hole

okay er than a deformed blood cell

you’ve still got three good ones yeah

okay so we have these barriers to get

through to somehow tear down we have a

gallbladder that’s torn open and we have

a large intestine that we can’t access

except through that pathway hmm okay

when you said when you said that dr.

Sevilla didn’t look so great it’s fair

enough very true okay so let’s all put

our minds together here how can we tear

down this barrier so that these white

blood cells can get to work well you

know I think like the best way to tear

down a barrier is to just let more women

have a say in the Academy voting you

know what I mean yeah and I well I see

that as being important right now I

think maybe the pressing issue would be

more of a physical oh the physical

barrier okay yeah yeah yeah okay okay so

I guess we’re all in the same page then

with not having many ideas here okay

so where do we think that this metal

thing could fit remembering it reminded

you of a balloon pump balloon pump let’s

see the lungs are our balloon ish we

haven’t seen them we haven’t seen a lot

yet no so I guess we got about the lungs

yeah it’s easy to forget I mean

breathing’s involuntary so a lot of

people forget they’re even there yeah

let’s go ahead and let’s go ahead and go

to the lungs I’m kind of curious anyway

I’ve never been inside of a lung as

opposed to all these other organs mmm

the rest are old news now you sail off

towards the right lung as marked on your

phone and when you get in there

everything at first seems normal

the walls are made of porous sponge-like

tissue that inflates and deflates

lightly with each of dr. safir’s

sleeping breaths however as you explore

further you spot a far corner that looks

like it’s collapsed it is an inflating

and if you push against it you nudge it

it feels unusually solid like there’s

something stuck in there

but spongy though the wall is it’s too

heavy for you to simply push aside it’s

a literal ton of uninflated balloon hmm

this would be so easy if I was big again

just a little bit bigger yeah first

things first I want a buried chunk ler

well it looks kinda like a balloon thing

that this lever that we had use a shovel

yeah yeah diggin the mucus down there

watch watch

alright as it reminded you of a balloon

pump up shoveling isn’t its intended

purpose yeah we just figured it could

also be used for that okay so maybe we

can find a spot fest balloon pump

looking thing

that you can just stick it right in

there right into that spongy lung tissue

yeah stick it in there okay here we go

and that lung tissue expands and as it

does you can see further inside and

actually see what’s been destroying it

you have come face-to-face with the

nanobots

whoa yeah for something called Nano it’s

it’s not nano compared to you right now

it’s like a big robotic tick its legs

are firmly implanted into the wall of

the lung and there’s some kind of

proboscis stabbing into it injecting

poison perhaps but like it knows you’re

there it brings out two of its legs and

holds them in front of itself like a

pair of arms ready to box you’re come on

hey I get to see him up you try to

negotiate with it and it just keeps

talking in that voice oh yeah see put a

map okay put them up put them up okay

well maybe he’s talked about your gun

camera hunch oh okay yeah I shoot it oh

it’s metal and the bullet just ricochets

right off I meant you know surrender

they gonna nut shoot him oh okay okay it

absorbs the gun into its body we’ve

given a fire power it was a terrible

decision dr. London it’s like that scene

in the mosque

you know timely reference the mosque

right so so here we have a difference

though the downside is that we’re

looking at a monster sorry I shouldn’t

say that with it there yeah I’m sure

it’s a nice in its own world maybe it’s

not a monster but for us it really seems

like one in any case we’ve inflated the

lungs at this point which means there

should be some oxygen flowing so some of

those previous problems that we saw

might be gone at this point it continues

to waive its boxing arms that year I’m

gonna get there yes so what are you so

weight losses that we do what’s the next

step forward

all right well perhaps we could revisit

one of the places that was severely

damaged before it scuttles a little bit

towards you it leaves its spot on the

wall and climbs down a little bit try to

get close enough to jab you punch you

me okay we should probably sure what I

mean we’ve been talking for about five

minutes with it in our site and it’s

only scuttled maybe like three or four

steps I think we have plenty of time all

right you get a good whack on it you try

to ignore the painful fact that it’s

metal and your flesh it hurts you more

than it hurts it but one of its

mechanical legs goes flying off whoa

Shane it’s a long thick rod and it’s

sparking a little bit at the end kind of

like a cattle prod unfortunately the

rest of the nano BOTS just sort of goes

yeah and scuttles back up and firmly

attaches itself to the wall of the lung

again do we do we need to fix the

gallbladder by the way or is that

something that oh you will definitely

need to fix the gallbladder

okay yes that’s not yeah that’s not an

infection that’s just a hole I’m

wondering if this if this can cauterize

the hole this cattle prod thing doesn’t

look like it’s got a sort of burning

effect like that okay okay hmm

here’s another thing that allowed

question could it perhaps free a barrier

where lymph in the lymph node cattle

prod electricity electricity and metal

Pearlie isn’t gonna destroy it if

anything that’s probably gonna hurt the

white blood cells yeah that does sound

hurtful okay well at least we have a

cattle prod Oh with the spinal cord that

one needed a kick didn’t it let’s grab

this cattle prod thing huh okay so you

got it Cameron yeah okay all right so

let’s head over to the spinal cord Oh

God okay don’t got it by that end oh

sorry

okay all right we’re good do don’t point

it at me here touch it Shane not just

touch it okay okay put it on my tongue

okay that was awesome let’s go ahead and

head over to the spinal cord then all

right you are back at the spinal cord so

remembering what that looked like there

were little gaps that you could reach it

one on the left one on the right all

right so I’d like to do well I guess you

know camera holding it

happen probably state well through that

little hole one of the holes okay which

side would you like to zap the left or

the right what are you gonna think well

we were talking are you do you mean

stage left right stage left or my little

we’re always talking stage left okay

okay so go with stage left

okay stage left alright so your stage

we’re damaged and the left kidney yeah

let’s just say everything’s damaged oh

that’s true okay yeah just the ones we

visited but um the nanobot was in the

the right lung so you’re saying I should

do it on the right you can always try

both one after the other what’s the

worst that could happen yeah I don’t

know I’m inside a body

lots of stuff happened today that I

wasn’t expecting hmm okay let’s start

with the left okay alright you prod at

the left and you swear you see a

shockwave burst from the point that you

touch you sway you see it shoot upwards

up the spine and out of sight almost at

the exact same time your phone flashes

to life a diagram of dr. severes body

has disappeared and words are now

showing up on screen

you must have sent some kind of

electrical signal up to the doctors

brain which has reacted to your synced

phone unlike the words on it look a

little bit scrambled like a message

isn’t quite coming through oh it’s what

you see is these letters what are you

reading no support it said the words

don’t forget to smile but then some

twisted person crossed out the word

forget and it just said don’t smile just

smile

I I should clarify because Cameron you

knew you your phone without the SIM card

is in your pocket you’re just looking at

a note that you wrote oh okay never mind

again the phones that are synced what

you see is this okay M said E

ah ve

and then on the next line L o-n-e

M there are some symbols mmm they look a

little bit like Morse code but who’d

expect you to know Morse code must be

something else

and on the left you see three dashes and

on the right you see three dots and a

dash M okay all right so the first line

if if I remember correctly it’s m ze ro

ve is that right mm-hmm that’s right

isn’t that a Russian name M’s arrived

maybe yeah that’s a Putin’s like it’s

the next person who made the nanobots

definitely a Russian I would say move

but then there’s an M and they’re still

if we were to mix these letters around

you’ve got Anna gram it’s not manna gram

good to know

all right so so so Shane what are you

thinking here well I noticed that it

looks kind of like microwave but that’s

where I’m at right now so I’m still

thinking because I don’t think it’s I

don’t think that’s right yeah I think

we’re missing an eye I see a W we’re

missing about half the letters to make

that work yeah we do have a V though and

an M that is three yeah and it oh so

pretty close but but it okay so it’s not

an anagram and backwards we know it’s

mil um Eve or asthma so dr. London you

use your medical science knowledge to

figure this out and so this next that

and the end part is also important so we

have on the left

– – – and on the right – yeah – yeah

okay so hmm maybe that’s how many zaps

we give to a given side that there’s

that’s just one idea I’m having here

like a firm one prod for a dot and then

hold it down for a – so you’re saying on

the left side we do three long zaps yes

and then on the right side we do three

short zaps and along zap or because you

know on a computer if you’re like trying

to say stop a program or restart

something sometimes it to hold down a

bunch of keys in a certain way maybe

this is kind of like that you just have

to get the right amount of things in the

right way all right try it okay here we

go here we go okay shoving it into the

left side first okay that’s three mm-hmm

okay how are we looking cool nothing

extraordinary has happened yet the body

is doing kind of a shake yeah didn’t do

anything okay

all right we’ll try the other side yeah

okay all right you finish that off and

you feel doctor severes body moving it

feels like somehow doing this you’ve

gotten more control but you can’t quite

tell what specifically you’re

controlling in this part of the spine

yet so you look at that phone message

and try to see if the words at the top

give you some indication of what you are

messing with right now okay let’s see

control over a part of her body right

now but you don’t know what part hmm all

right so let’s think through what could

it be

zero like something Rosie and this is I

assume the Queen’s English that we’re

using hmm as opposed to that’s Oz

English right

aka Russian let’s see saying that was a

good thought again speaking your

thoughts never wrong can help oh well in

that case so I ordered a whichwhich

sandwich earlier but I got I got the

size too large so I have half a sandwich

waiting for me does that okay so does

that help so do that

oh and I’ll stab ya let’s see so I’m

playing with this code still hmm well

the problem is already wrote in one

particular order

absolutely letters do the letters are

they connected to the sequence at the

bottom of the dashes and the dots in

terms of like there’s three dashes so is

it like the first three letters of each

line or something along no okay

ironically thinking about a sandwich

like a rib which could possibly help I

have no idea what he’s talking about

okay I know what he’s getting at

I don’t know goodnight I like it what

does it chain what is it well I’m trying

to figure out maybe do we need to move

some of the letters from the bottom in

between the other lever letters in the

top line or vice versa

okay good thank you weren’t there goes

this well you know I was thinking letter

sandwich hmm

yeah right what defines it well how do

you make a sandwich

Oh gotta get some bread turkey cheese

Swiss I mean

mustard pickles lettuce salt and pepper

pop it in a microwave see you get

something vyas now right get some

Tomatoes only keep four so put it

between two other things

you put it between some bread loaves

exactly what is the bread and tucky

tomato salt and pepper of this puzzle

[Music]

the first burst in last letter Melba

Melbourne Australia you on the right

track looking in there but II Rob

doesn’t really mean anything 0-0 in the

centre so we control zero okay and the

zero one so we’ve got more we’ve got

binary code happening in here you do not

need to know binary okay thank god

that’s good even though I already know

it

we have zero one or oh one or you could

maybe say ten so they have to go key

that’s number one what are we

controlling Dr. London zero one what

does that mean yeah so not one the other

stuff around it the other letters around

them are still important okay okay all

right the remaining letters

besides zero and one are M move limp

you can move their or their leg yeah so

right so we can use this look like an oh

yeah it’s ink so we can so we can move

her limbs now with this device after all

of this time trying to solve this puzzle

that scrambled message has sort of

finished unscrambling and there’s an

image appearing because what’s happening

is your phone’s image must be connecting

remotely to a camera on the ceiling in

the operating room because you can see

the operating table and everything

around it and as you go back and you do

another jab on to the spinal cord you

can control you can see that you’re

controlling dr. safir’s right arm the

one closest to the bench of medical

equipment okay okay so dr. Linda make

her slap her face yeah that’s gonna

happen here

you totally do that it’s it’s a

beautiful slap okay hold on um your

phone starts beeping there’s an alarm

going off you see that it’s swapped back

to the diagram of inside dr. safir’s

body there’s a huge red circle on her

heart the words cardiac arrest are

written on the screen oh no what have

you done

well I we slapped her that’s true maybe

maybe we can make you know move her

limbs to go get the defibrillators and

then you know maybe that’s a bad idea

yeah maybe that’s a bad idea yeah do

that no no there is definitely a mini

defibrillator sitting right next to us

so so that’s a good idea you can do that

and you you you make her grab it and you

press it onto her heart

luckily mobile defibrillators are

basically self functioning so you’re

able to make this work you feel the

first jolt shoot through her and then a

second and then suddenly everything

seems to be going okay again the alarm

is stopped and everything looks a little

bit more stable and in fact the symbol

on your phone that was on the large

intestine isn’t giving you a bad message

anymore oh good it says SIM card not

found well I guess I guess we could go

into the intestine might as well we need

to do that it seemed fixing the heart

must have jump-started a few other

things as well because this intestinal

blockage is slowly shifting and it’s

being pushed down the only problem is

now that it’s going it’s revealing

something even more sinister sitting on

the floor of the intestinal passage is a

small dark mass and you have no doubt

whatsoever that this is a cluster of

cancerous tumor cells maybe it’s benign

but it certainly doesn’t look good

especially here cancer cells replicate

extraordinarily quickly and this one

could effectively turn into a wall that

blocks the intestine permanently you can

already see a couple of these cells are

growing bigger as if they’re ready to

divide themselves and keeps

okay this sounds like a very complicated

patient we are getting paid here no no

it’s a volunteer thing yeah yeah

volunteer only I came in for the

nanobots situation and now there’s

cancer let me talk to the cancer cells

real quick is that okay

they don’t hey so you’re uh you’re a

cancer I’m like I’m a Sagittarius hey

you think I haven’t heard that one

before

are we talking about here and like a

vague gangster app accent like a 20s

gangster that make sure that cancer

sounds like well sounds mean one of the

cancer cells detaches from the clump to

come I to I with you yeah not a good

it’s still sort of growing you ain’t no

chunker okay well maybe let’s back away

from it real quick so those the lymph

node was filled with white blood cells

which really are good at you know

fighting off cancer potentially and

maybe the situation has changed up there

since you know our shakeups

if you go back in you’ll see that that

metal cage is still very much intact

okay okay okay something very specific

to get rid of that thing so what what

are the tasks that you still need to

what do you still need to do gall

bladder still open yeah there’s still a

hole in the wall of that yeah oh plug

the hole with these cancer cells right

they do grow quickly enough that they

could form a wall yeah I think it’s

great I think it’s it’s a temporary

solution but it’s practical it’s right

let’s do it yeah Cameron you can take

the lead I don’t like to play with

cancer like that all right so where

where I’ve got her

yeah I’ve caught the cancer cells wipe

it that can be where we going where we

going yeah and they’re like a net like a

dog catchers net oh you’re okay take off

your suit and you trap it in there yeah

then we lob it into the gallbladder hole

hole bladder if you will

you toss down your clump of gross black

cells they’re still replicating

expanding rapidly

pretty soon they’ve completely covered

the terrible hole that you made the bile

settles it’s no longer flooding the

passage to the stomach it’s now just a

regular old trickle if you want to head

to the stomach your way is now clear I

don’t know there’s a terrible hole

it just wasn’t like it wasn’t ideal the

timing and placement weren’t good but as

a whole I think you did good job Cameron

Thanks let’s go to the stomach stomach

stomach yes all right finally you’re

able to get to the stomach and well when

you get there everything looks normal

you weren’t sure if the nanobot has even

been here there’s no visible food lying

around makes sense doctor severe

wouldn’t have eaten right before surgery

and there are some small pools of

gastric acid that’s very easy to step

around well yeah I guess if we don’t go

swimming then true the stomach overall

quite pleasant compared to some of the

other places okay okay so let’s take a

beat here and let’s relax since this is

kind of the everything else has kind of

been a whole thing every time

and maybe just relaxing for a little bit

initial time estimate you have about ten

minutes left

whoa so so can we grab some of this

stomach acid and burn up metal with it

well not not with your hands is that

filled with acid to transport it what do

we do we have something to transport

stomach acid it’s a little bit out there

but you do have something vessel like we

do have those blood cells they’re shaped

like cups they were whoa but I wanted to

vote off of those well maybe okay

hydrochloric acid just gives it a zing

okay yes very true you’ve been there

been there done that it’s good stuff

yeah just a head start basically on

digestion

all right let’s use our let’s use our

our chalice Shay

sells to scoop up some stomach acid is

that what is dr. London is this on yes

which one are you using well using I

guess we can use the two that I was

gonna bring home for me the acid sits in

those cup cells looking totally a nut

there’s no bubbling no fizzing nothing

from here well it almost looks like

water

you know better though don’t drink it

okay he doesn’t know better I’ll hold it

let me hold it I’m thirsty he he does

not remember that kind of thing if it

looks good he will drink it okay you

just already dealt with the whole

bathroom issue I want to go through that

again yeah okay so now we’ve got Bott

filled with the stomach acid let’s head

over to the lymph node all right you

take your cup of acid and you let it you

sort of throw it it sort of floats in

the direction of the barricade and the

acid on metal makes it start fizzing and

pretty soon pieces of it are being

completely eroded away and then the

whole thing collapses the white blood

cells that were trapped inside come

floating out you you move aside

concerned but they’ll see you as an

invader but actually they go past you

completely they’re floating on their

merry way they seem to be going

somewhere deliberately hmm they’re not

the fastest so following them will be

pretty easy and eventually you follow

them to their destination but they

weren’t going to the lung where the nano

BOTS was they’ve gone to the kidney but

that huge pool of infected blood has

been sitting so great that trying to get

to work on that okay except this pool is

enormous it could take them hours to get

this place disinfected you you need a

way to get them elsewhere I was in an

infinity pool cuz those look bigger than

they actually are I don’t know I think

they’re as big as infinity that’s all

right that’s that’s very true he’s got a

point that is Australia that’s the hope

that’s the whole idea okay well I guess

they can’t pile and do our or bus can

they or our van

probably could but this infection is

really what’s attracting their attention

so even then wherever you took them

they’d probably try to make their way

back so so what what what needs to be

done we need to figure out how to get

the nano bots in here probably hmm or

some way to attract the white blood

cells an infection else the nanobots

yeah good point so really easy they seem

mmm slightly more cooperative than the

nanobot okay so maybe we’ll go to the

lung with a nanobot and try to stir up

something okay all right what’s your

plan well I was gonna start another

fight really oh okay all right let’s go

okay you start another fight with the

Nano but and this time you’re all gonna

get in on it this time three on one

maybe you’ll actually have a chance

that’s right all right you do some

punches hands up kind of like one of

those scenes from fast guy where Peter

fights the chicken it goes onto a tree

do a bit of destruction to everything

that’s around you and eventually yes um

some bits of not so pleasant looking

blood start wafting out of lung bits and

it takes a long while this is a long

fight that you’re doing here but

eventually from the equivalent of a

doorway to the lung you see a little

white blood cell poked its head through

and then another and another and a

couple of them must have detoured from

the lymphocyte and had come towards you

to help you out and they see they see

the nanner bullet scar good yeah you try

to lure it up and you stand back and

these white blood cells they leap onto

the nanobot it retract all of its legs

it curls up into a defensive ball but

these white blood cells they are savages

they encircle it they engulf it and then

it’s gone dissolved inside the white

blood cells

the nanobot never made it to her brain

the research is safe

oh alright I suppose let’s hop back in

the vessel and leave I satisfied with a

job well done

you head back for the eye when you get

there though something seems off off

scale to be precise the pupil doesn’t

look as accommodating as it did on your

way in and it hasn’t gotten smaller you

have indeed gotten bigger your vessel

included it’s just a bit bigger it’s not

enough to put dr. severe at risk but it

is enough that you can’t get out but you

have to leave via the pupil it’s the

only way back to the chamber where you

can regrow in stable conditions if you

return to normal size anywhere else the

sudden shift could kill you Oh as

opposed to okay so and I guess so if we

all suck in a little bit that doesn’t

help correct it doesn’t it doesn’t help

the bus yeah alright first and foremost

I pray to the powerful white blood cells

for their favor I need to stop sucking

up to blood cells dude they’re not gonna

like you

Oh white blood cells please grant me

favor man I don’t even know why you’re

bothering with these ones they’ve done

their job you’ve got red blood cells to

raise that’s true one one good blood

cell and two delicious blood cells so so

we we can’t go out the colon no it’s not

that kind if you do that you’ll just end

up back in the main room and if you

resize in the main room rather than the

special chamber oh right right right

yeah everything I’ll go bananas yeah and

I I can speak to this I’ve seen patients

like this where it’s not that kind of

colon anyway okay your only option is to

make this pupil video yeah well can we

resize her pupil specifically because if

so maybe we could control her limbs to

do the resizing machine and focus it on

her pupil make it larger the resizing

machine is more of like a special

chamber so you do have some degree of

control over things outside that she can

reach within her um distance and you’ve

got spine control you probably can’t

make her body flop all the way into the

machine but here’s an idea

so pupils react to light so oh there is

that big light over over her the Kim

Kardashian marelize yeah accent come in

handy well you see if it’s sort of a

survival instinct thing anyway so yeah

if we manipulate the light in the room

then possibly that could cause the

people to dilate or maybe we could make

her use the defibrillators again you

know on her yeah on her I just sort of

shoot you out yeah so can we just throw

the light around you can control her um

go back to the spinal cord to give her a

quick zap and actually you notice that

her left arm not too far from the light

switch

Wow okay so then you can flip wait stage

left you flick it to the off

position and although you can’t see it

you sense the room plunging into

darkness and dr. savea’s body subtly

reacting to the change all right head

back to the eye and with the light

switched off

Dr. Severus pupil indeed has expanded to

several times the size it was before

even as your vessel is steadily growing

you pass through it easily and you make

your way back through the tube to the

size changing chamber area at last you

can return to your normal size safely

and the blood cells are gonna come for

the journey I hope they like being big

once you’ve done so and once dr. severe

has returned consciousness she wearily

walks over to you it’s done yeah take a

seat aren’t you tired your I’ve just

been asleep where have you been also you

have cancer oh it’s cool though I was

just about to celebrate about having

normal compromised information and being

healthy again yep

really um maybe I will lie down so Shane

that’s not gonna go with working with

the podcast is that usually we try to

approach people with you know in a

particular way so that we don’t you know

Surprise them with information at the

wrong time bedside manners oh yeah god

forbid people had correct information

yeah so you do have gallbladder cancer

okay we that we metastasized to the Gulf

we could have probably found a different

solution but that was the most

convenient well be that as it may

destroying the Nano but was your goal

and you have completed it you have

completed this escape when you die now

your knowledge will die with you instead

of being in that nano bot exactly and

isn’t that what everybody wanted right

congratulations guys you did it saved

mr. risk the doctor yeah if I could get

that a paycheck that would be yeah the

paycheck is and also you know a ride

back I’d

love a ride home can I put that back

we’ve actually been experimenting all of

those black fans that brought you here

they’ve now been shrunk and put into

other people’s bodies you take an uber

yeah I I mean you could just order an

uber like I don’t I don’t think it’s

we’re set on the vans and it’s it’s a

long trip back the uber might cost your

entire paycheck from the mission right

that that’s that is why I’m asking you

guys to to order the so we are getting

paid I’m sorry with this cancer

diagnosis I’m clearly going broke okay I

pull out my gun and pointed at Bill and

Dan no remember the bots the nano BOTS

took your gun oh right right yeah we

already tried this solution no no he

meant gone silly that’s a good sign

because the nanobot ate the gun and the

white blood cells a banana bullet so now

there’s a white blood cell in the body

somewhere with a gun Wow

a super white thing and that’s how you

get rid of cancer so there she’ll be

fine that sounds great so this is what

the doctors have been hiding from us all

along his podcast is about real medical

advice right because that is true yeah

well you know we try to educate on a few

things in any case I’m glad that we were

able to help you with this problem I

guess to help doctor severe specifically

in any case I think this is a good time

to maybe wrap it up since we have to

figure out how to get home and

mentioning uber I’m also thinking of

uber eats I’m pretty hungry okay so red

blood cells pretty big now okay and by

the way those aren’t sponsors of ours

but we would love them as sponsors okay

so thank you to escape this podcast

thank you to both of you I hope you had

fun and I hope that everybody learned a

little something about how the body

works yes

well very factually correct in human

body room there are some real facts in

that that’s true I didn’t lie about the

function of anything and blood cells are

good for their meat hmm well I haven’t

tried it yet but I assume so I mean look

at them is there any any way for

listeners to follow you and find you

else

uh yes so people who in if you want to

hear more of this you can find all of us

although all of our episodes at escape

this podcast com or you can just search

for escape this podcast in pretty much

any podcasting app that you might have

we in fact you could go back to the

original time we ran this room for some

other guests there are some differences

so you might enjoy hearing it again and

feeling smug about knowing some of the

solutions already that’s back in season

1 episode 14 I believe total escape from

the heart but other than that you can

find us on Twitter we’re at esque this

podcast more on Instagram as escape this

podcast on Facebook and we’d love to see

you and if you do come and check out the

show let us know that you came from Jock

Doc’s podcast so we can send them a

congratulatory muffin basket yes we

would appreciate that all right and

Shane Fleg did you have any um anyway

listeners to follow you you know just

just to keep a lookout on the old

Facebook I find my you know that’s kind

of where I that’s my creative outlet you

know I like to educate people on you’ll

see me on NASA climate change things

like that okay and Shane can we get just

like a goodbye jingle just like a little

tune little melody real quick alright

this is gonna be a delivery one it’s

been a great time because about by

perfect okay dr. London you continue

okay

alright so thank you to do escape this

podcast for being on thank you – Shane

Fleg for working and learning under

under Cameron here producer Cameron

thank you – producer Cameron thank you –

digital in the hose I’m gonna get to

fight me on losses

[Music]

come on hey I get to see huh ma come up

[Music]

my name is dr. London smith.com and this

has been the jock doc podcast see ya

this is one DJ you don’t want to f**** with

thank you

[Music]

the goose quivered you stare and the

goose stares back gaze is locked in a

contest of wills one of you will surely

be cooked tonight but which one the

gooses mouth waters as it eyes your

flank and you realize that it’s now or

never

you make a grab for the knife but the

goose is unfortunately far quicker looks

like you will be dinner after all

and speaking of what else is after all

after all that podcast it’s finally time

to tell your nosy co-workers about the

Jock Doc Podcast either send them a

link to your favorite episode or just

send them our handy website JockDocPodcast.com
and don’t forget to leave a

5-star review in which you describe your

fight to the death and meal with a goose

you can also tell us about it on social

media @JockDocPodcast thanks for

listening

[Music]

[Applause]

35: Luetic Heart/Dupid

Hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice if you need

medical advice or medical care please

contact your doctor

Welcome to the Jock Doc Podcast

featuring Dr. London Smith

roses are red violets are blue please

give our podcast a five-star review

introducing your host Dr. London

[Music]

Hello and welcome to the Jock Doc

Podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host Dr. London

Smith (.com) I would like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback regarding the

overuse of complicated medical

terminology that I’ve been using such as

lipophilic and Valentine so I will try

to keep my wording a little more

simplified in the future here to help

with that is our producer Cameron

three-two-one

hello oh hey sorry I didn’t mean to

interrupt no I’m just

I felt like I deserve a little fanfare

and maybe a countdown

you’ve never counted down for me so I

had to do it myself okay yeah yes you’ve

never kind of down for me either I don’t

your name is on the show so I just

figured you already get in the world

okay so maybe us lesser folks would like

a countdown every once in a while but

I’ll do it myself

no problem not mad about it okay it was

a so Cameron works so hard to keep this

podcast relevant to the average listener

that when he heard that love is in the

air he dressed in camouflage and took

his hunting rifle then proceeded to

spend six consecutive days camped in his

neighbor’s backyard mm-hmm and I’m in

seventh day I arrested yeah so I’m

guessing that you did this in order to

shoot love if you ever see it flying

into the air Cameron yeah sure and on

the seventh day I rested okay and so I

did you did you shoot something or like

did I complete the task at hand who’s to

say okay did I shoot something that

someone probably loved at a certain

point that I guess you could sort of say

represented love maybe did well now I’m

a little bit concerned whoa whoa whoa

don’t just you know jump on me Dr.

London come on well

you were in your neighbor’s backyard

before I fall I have no dog in this

fight dr. London and they have a

trampoline my dog died last week I’ve

had no dog in this fight

okay I’m sorry to hear that yeah I

didn’t realize okay uh well yeah yeah

that’s that’s I guess a difficult

Valentine’s Day for you this week how

how did your dog die

he had stigmata okay dog stigmata I I

guess I’m not well I’m not a vet so I

don’t deal with this so much Oh stigmata

like the wounds of Christ that’s right

yeah like the supernatural disease that

Catholic people sometimes believe in

about developing the wounds of Christ

miraculously and yes unfortunately how

my dog passed your dog obtained the

wounds of Christ

unfortunately so its front paws I guess

yep little little cuts

yeah just dog stigmata

I’m sorry to hear that no it’s it’s okay

okay well I hate to leave at that tone

but um also with us is did you do the

hose sit back and drink a carbonated

beverage I do not harvest hearts special

guests so look forward to that that’s

right dr. London before we move on I

would like to address a bit of listener

feedback I tried to use my 20% of Bed

Bath & Beyond coupon to buy me my wife a

vacuum for Christmas but the woman

behind the counter would not let me the

woman kept saying sir this is a windy

London don’t you sometimes get tired of

it’s like listener feedback stuff always

hearing from the listeners don’t you

think the listeners might want to hear

from you yes I I guess I always just

think listeners open honest said don’t

you want to be open and honest our

listeners don’t know anything about your

personal life they know you on a

professional level but we’re always

hearing stories about me and all the

crazy adventures I get into but you’re

this big question mark to a lot of our

listeners they don’t know you like I do

right haven’t looked through your diary

saebom looked through your you know

taxes yeah most most people haven’t load

through my taxes most people aren’t

supposed to look through my diary or my

journal well I have see well I didn’t

see know about yes and that’s sort of

what I wanted to talk to about it this

is this this is our sort of our

Valentine’s Day episode this episode’s

coming out the week of Valentine’s

and you know you know i-i’ve been in a

loving relationship for the last 15

years and I get a lot of fulfillment

from from my girlfriend and you dr.

London on the other hand

yeah well I’ve just being so busy

professional you’re always working I

it’s hard to make time and no one no one

is gonna judge you for being a a lonely

single man thank you

it sounded a little judgy but so yeah so

for me I’m trying to I guess especially

for Valentine’s Day I have been trying

to see someone to kind of you know have

someone special for that day yeah so I

guess I’ve been trying to impress people

like whenever I see you know pretty lady

then I do have what what do you do okay

and you know this from the diary and how

it turned out but um so sometimes if I’m

at the park and I see a bunch of birds

and I also see a pretty lady and in

Britain those two are the same I think

yeah but um if I see a lady then I’ll

try to impress her by you know yelling

and running into the birds and scaring

them all away and trying to get them to

kind of flourish

yeah well and like I just look really

big and tough if I can scare them all

away yeah yeah like dominance you know

from what I understand ladies sometimes

like like that aggressive guy yeah yeah

that sounds great yeah sometimes also if

there is the once again if there’s a

lady around and like a rap song comes on

sometimes I’ll be you know lone in my

car on the way back from hospital

whatever and I’ll really practice these

rap songs I’ll do it so I could even

though they think they talk really fast

all even like the whole time oh my mouth

all the words Wow

and so like that Busta Rhymes song from

like seven years ago or whatever yeah

probably

look at me now he’s like

okay well I can’t do what you’re doing

but I can mouth it super well so

sometimes it’ll like it the song comes

on or sometimes I’ll even put in the

jukebox myself and then I’ll look at the

girl and I’ll just I’ll mount the rap is

the intention that she thinks you’re

rapping or is the intention that she

sees how quickly your lips move which

I’m sure you think helps kissing which

we’ll get into that in a second well I

hadn’t made any connection to those I

for me it was like the ability to

memorize a song and then move my mouth

accordingly okay so it’s not about

convincing her that you you kiss really

fast I didn’t know that

like I had zero connection in my mind to

that okay so what you’re suggesting is

good I think a lot of women will be very

impressed by that but the reason they

will be is because what women want is a

fast kisser yes okay because you you

let’s be honest dr. London have how much

kissing experience have you had no I’ve

read a lot about it yeah of course so so

in that sense I had met you medically

you’ve read a lot about it you like the

Latin terms or whatever for kissing yeah

the orbicularis Oris yeah I’ve read that

there’s yeah there’s a certain emotion

that you’re lots of the muscles in your

mouth have to make yeah and that you

know to give our listeners an example I

know this is an audio format so it’s

hard to show you a proper way to kiss a

nice young woman right but it would

sound something like this like to me

you’re just rapping now yeah exactly do

you see how a young woman that you’re

trying to woo might see you rapping

really fast and think like oh this is

the type of guy that I might want a

smooch later so this is just like in was

it the Karate Kid with the wax on wax

off thing it seems like I’m training for

something else

yes and I’m mr. Miyagi yeah and you’re

the stupid little kid right yeah okay

so there is another technique which I

think this one I have connected as being

like potentially helping me romantically

so one time I so I was that there was

there was someone I liked and I was with

their family for Thanksgiving and so I

someone said something I was just very

sensitive that day like it happens to

any of us mm-hmm but like like they were

someone sound like you know Pass pass

the gravy and there there had been

something the day before or whatever so

I was kind of triggered by that so I

start weeping yeah and I’m like it’s

coming down I my nose is all snotty what

I mean what had happened the day before

with gravy do you have to dr. London no

you said at the beginning of this

segment that you want it to be open and

honest with our listeners don’t matter

but this is it this is ant no I don’t

want to bring that but the point though

the point in that situation yeah is that

so I so I started I was weeping but then

I saved this is the part that makes me

feel like I do have an edge you poured

you pour the gravy in your cereal

instead of milk on accident didn’t you

dr. London it’s okay hey dr. London it’s

okay well I didn’t I didn’t like I

didn’t mean to do it yes okay it’s okay

we all make mistakes

you know maybe not mistakes as bad as

that and know that you know I’m not

gonna lie to you that’s not something

you can ever take back but so for me

yeah the big boy that whole story is

that as I’m weeping and I tell her I

look straight into her eyes and I say

although triggered by emotion

this actually is how the body cleans the

eyes so it’s not even weird that I’m

crying at your parents Thanksgiving

dinner

dr. London that is just a normal human

bodily thing yeah that’s what I said I

like it didn’t she didn’t want me to

stay there and I was pretty conditional

for me to be there at all like I I had

to pull some strings actually to get

invited to that dinner and I wasn’t

really invited anyway so yeah so that’s

just another way that like that’s to

show her how brainy I am yeah pulling

the medical aspect right yeah and I

guess the other big way that I’ve

flirted before was like maybe whenever I

was in high school and my parents bought

me a car the girls liked that yeah

about me success from that or is

assuming that girls like to you because

of that or I guess I never I never did a

single person like say anything positive

about the car to you at all oh the

salesman thought it was okay yeah the

salesman said that it was a great car

and that that I he told me that the

ladies would love it yeah well if he

would know more than I do I’m not a car

so he knows way more about cars than me

and said ya know and so I I

assumed that it worked like not well

like I didn’t have a girlfriend but like

no but you knew what was going on behind

the scene and I could have I could have

had one from what I understand yeah

because I had that car no he said it was

like the best one for that that makes

sense yeah so yeah so that’s I guess

that’s flirting to me if that was that

your question originally yeah sorta I

just kind of wanted to know just what

steps you were taking this Valentine’s

Day to hopefully land you a date right

and I guess have you had any success

like in terms of like I’ve done the rap

mouthing thing if that’s what you mean

I’ve done it well I can realize do you

have a do you have a date I mean from

the wrapping thing do you have a date

lined up for Valentine okay now I guess

I didn’t see the next step in a process

that’s a tough one

yeah I get I honestly I kind of thought

that I was done after mouthing the rap I

thought that was you just thought that

was the beginning middle and end of a

relationship yeah so I should say I have

a lot of ex I never had a girlfriend but

I’ve had a lot of exes yeah a lot of

girls that I’ve looked at made not all

of them but a lot of them I made eye

contact with probably impressed with

your car too

yeah well yeah once but once I take them

outs I asked them to go outside with me

yeah and point to the car and I say if

my parents bought that yeah my parents

actually bought that for me what was the

what was the cereal with the gravy what

was it was it cakes was it

frosted fight its lucky charms

look I didn’t look that’s that’s not the

part that I wanted to talk about no I

know but it’s about honesty on this show

you’ve really opened up with us today I

just I don’t normally have all this

going on but it’s Valentine’s anyway so

we can move on yeah yeah we’re ready to

move on we can move on I you know in in

this sense yes now for a tale from the

ER we had a patient who had just been in

a serious car crash and I needed to

check to see if the patient’s rectal

sphincter tone was intact you check for

this to evaluate for nerve damage along

with checking for things like gross

blood hemoccult result and rectal vault

integrity so or if like a Hot Wheels got

up there no that’s not what we were

expecting necessarily but so so I spread

his cheeks to begin that portion of the

exam and tomorrow and it in fact was but

to my surprise plastic bags filled with

marijuana spilled out of his anus you

can expect a number well I’m not sure if

I would be encouraging but so you you

can’t expect a number of things

I suppose Hot Wheels but in this case

drug smuggled to a lot of things can

exit a rear-end on exam mm-hmm but I was

not expecting that in particular now for

today’s medical topic Lou etic heart Lou

etic heart is a complication of

syphilitic aortitis okay hold up hold up

dr. London detailing can we fact check

that real quick yes okay could you try

that again why will we

through the fact-checker and it came out

wrong okay you did that’s what that

thing in the room is yeah that’s the

fact-checking machine it’s so big

well yeah I mean it’s a big it’s a big

ordeal I mean this is chuckling it’s an

election year I mean writing itself is

so huge yeah but I’m saying like you

need a big machine to deal with a big

problem this is an election year in our

last election and in this one we’ve

already dealt with I mean fake news

false information thank you I want to go

through everything that you’re saying I

want to make sure that we’re above board

I don’t want to be like these other

podcasts who just put out information we

have no idea if it’s true or not okay so

just go ahead I’m just gonna I’m gonna

every once in a while I’m gonna stop

what you’re saying I’m gonna send it

over to DJ Dillon to run what you just

said

through the fact-checking machine and

then we’ll process it okay but I’m not

probably not gonna change what I’m

saying I gotta warn you on that as long

as the people know that it’s false

information then that is fine as we just

have to be aboveboard about it that’s

all okay so Louetta card is a

complication of syphilitic aortitis

usually affecting men in their fourth to

fifth decade of life stop DG Dylan can

you fourth or fifth decade okay that’s

true go ahead okay so syphilis can

present initially as a painless genital

ulcer that goes away on its own and

because it is painless and seemingly

self resolving people may not seek

treatment for it okay stop that real

quick your genitals go away on their own

go ahead your genitals as far as what

the Machine is saying they do stick

around unless you remove them yourself

they don’t just you know go away into

thin air on their own but go ahead okay

and I was referring to genital ulcers

not butt so if if they do not receive

treatment for that syphilis infection

one potential complication is Louetta

heart which is an aneurysm or an

excessive localized enlargement of the

aortic arch and this can have retrograde

extension so it extends backwards all

right we’re gonna double-check this

real quick what you say retro genital

arch we’re gonna see no there are there

genital arch back in the olden days the

same as ours today that’s what the

machines telling us okay this can lead

to a aortic regurgitation or a backwards

flow of blood back towards the heart and

stenosis well away let’s check this

heart barf let’s check heart barf heart

barf is real okay go ahead and stenosis

or blockage of aortic branches most

commonly the coronary arteries so this

can be quite dangerous because blocked

coronary arteries are the cause of heart

attack okay let’s double check this real

quick we’re gonna check if it’s

dangerous to have blocked arteries it is

okay it is dangerous to have blocked

arteries okay

treatment for Louetta heart is with IV

penicillin and also surgical repair all

right let’s double check that the things

he listed does that actually help it

does it does it doesn’t it objectively

does not why are you giving people

medical recommendations that are false

okay well in this case you’re listing

these medications that they can’t do

anything with so the one medication I

listed is penicillin and it is it is odd

that there is still something that can

be treated by penicillin because most

bacteria have developed a resistance to

it but syphilis is the exception to that

can we can we double check and see if

maybe the cure for all the stuff dr. Lin

is saying is just having a light salad

every once in a while

yep that’s it okay so forget your

penicillin forget your whatever just

have a light salad you feeling bad have

a light salad all right yeah well go

ahead and move on from there then all

right Cameron do we have a sponsor today

yes we do dr. London

we’ve talked about this a little bit

before with other companies but you know

subscription boxes they’re very very in

right now okay yeah a popular one is the

nerd one or whatever the geek box or

whatever you like toys and stuff there’s

the blue apron and hellofresh and all

those food ones but you know what is

missing from this field what health

related items okay things to keep people

healthy

yeah like fitness or I guess the food

items are related to that but sure but

that’s just one little eat wouldn’t you

say that diet is only a small portion of

the larger health spectrum yeah

exercises absolutely aspect so we I mean

we’ve already started our own box could

be the jock dock box yeah we started

this a few months ago and it’s I mean

it’s really taken off we have actually

quite a few customers already cuz this

is the first I’ve heard about it well

yeah I wanted to get it off the ground

before I told you about it cuz you get

mad at me so often about our sponsors

and my ideas and stuff okay but actually

we have some subscriber feedback already

okay yeah you can we can go ahead and

listen to some of our customer

testimonials okay and hopefully that’ll

get more people on board

well my name is Ethan I’m supposed to do

a review of the jock dock box here is

it’s kind of weird that it’s you know in

crayon but I thought from the name it

was gonna have to do with my modern-day

understanding of like medicine and

science you know jock doc makes sense

but it was filled completely with ants

and that’s it okay that’s the first part

of the the testimonial okay so I guess

the obvious follow-up question there is

Cameron did you fill up a box with ants

and then call that the jock box as a

part of the subscription so I mean

that’s definitely one of our boxes we

have a variety of boxes I mean it

changes from you know all the time from

box to box well see this is this is kind

of why I’d like you to run it past me

first before you start it okay because I

can give input to say your input would

be stopped and I hate that I hate

hearing that word it’s so negative well

I’m all about positivity saying yes yes

so for this I might have said something

to the effect of you know like maybe

let’s get some exercise information or

like weights or something irrelevant too

expensive okay you know what’s healthy

you know what’s full of protein and I

you know one of the most common medical

devices in history or the leeches and

answer kind of like leeches right

well they they’re I mean leeches even

have current medical use not a lot not

as differently from they were the way

they’re used in the past and you can get

way more ants on a person’s body than

you can get leeches and people can die

from that I guess is the counter point I

would make there I mean these aren’t

like killer ants they’re just normal

ants

normal do you know what type of ant they

are yeah the this the ants like they

like the mound ants I guess the amount

dance okay

yeah so those I mean if they bite do

these ones bite I’m hearing just

negativity can we play the rest the next

clip okay well I guess I I’m not exactly

so do you sneak into the customers

houses and put the box under the covers

of their that’s a great question doctor

London so first of all I want I do want

to clarify you’ve you we both I guess

said the word customers I do want to say

you don’t necessarily sign up for this

service as much as I sort of choose to

bless you with our service and the heart

of blessing that service is guaranteeing

that our people have a box every single

day no matter what and okay I guess one

of the issues there what if they don’t

want the box like in this case that that

customer did not seem to want the

company like he said they got rid of the

ants yeah after he had used them I’m

sure I got rid of a bag of M&Ms earlier

cuz I ate them all when you say get rid

of it does sound like throwaway not not

eat them or whatever else you would do

with I got read as them down my belly

yeah – is not common terminology to use

I think in the ant community it is which

is that probably where our confusion

comes from okay I let’s just hear the

next clip

I was recording it for the first couple

of days because you know I was confused

how it got here

and it just appears it’s not a dude or

anything it just shows up I don’t know I

just got back from vacation and while I

was on vacation the Box appeared in the

Airbnb every day and it was still like

filled with fans I’m so so you made it I

guess you made it sound like you would

alternate what the contents of the box

would be but it’s just ants every time

this specific customer and so far all of

our customers have received the this the

thorax package as we call it we call

thorax because of that specific part of

an ants body that’s the healthiest part

I’ve seen like a nice like healthy

thorax are you talking about pretty fit

are you talking about ants yeah I I

guess I never thought of how fit a given

ants body parts are it’s the healthiest

part okay so see scent you’ve been doing

this for months

yeah how did you do like you know

getting into this customer’s Airbnb bed

well part of part of the job talk box

carrying tea is that you’re always going

to receive your subscription no matter

where you are if you go on vacation boom

you’re still gonna get it you move to

another place across the country boom

you’re still gonna get it is this what

you’ve been doing whenever you like a

lot of times you’ve just disappeared for

days okay and like you’ll come back

covered in dirt you know covered in

sewage covered in health

yeah and it’s to deliver these what I

guess what I’m asking is do you deliver

these yourself I mean yeah okay it’s too

much overhead to require other people to

deliver it

cuz shipping is a big part of these

things but you’re saying you just go to

the shipping fees are crazy and you

involuntarily these are all people who

did not give their consent to receive a

box to receive this blessing

involuntarily

okay is there any more to the okay so

that sounded like a plea for help no I

think he’s highlighting one of the great

advantages of the service which is once

you’re in your family you’re in and once

again you’re involuntarily in and it’s

ants in your bed which you don’t choose

greatness greatness chooses you would

you say that’s true dr. London I depend

on it variable and I like it very even T

our boxes are greatness I look you need

to stop sending it to these people who

specifically say that they do not want

that was only one of our customers

though how many are there

that who’s to say there’s actually no

way to know well you you hand deliver

these yourself so there’s I would think

that there’s a way you must track these

because you’ve been doing it every week

enough for someone to post a video

online about it

yeah but I’m so wasted the entire time

that I’m doing this stuff like it’s

impossible to keep track of it for you

specific who knows okay all right well I

guess here can we can we hear just one

more customer review this is from a dis

separate customer it’s not the guy we

were just listening to okay

well my name is Damien ant and I’m

supposed to do a review of the a jockey

talk abouts this is the most wonderful

thing I’ve ever done best gift ever

it comes every day I didn’t have to

subscribe to it just appears it was

filled completely with ants I while the

hands at first I was a little confused

as I think one should be but then I

started to train the ants I have a huge

ant farm now and they like bring me

breakfast and give me and they clothed

me I didn’t have this suit jacket until

yesterday I didn’t buy it it just

appeared with the jockey box you can get

one too you heard it from a happy

customer that jock Doc bucks for only

$35 a month get it today well you’ll

have no choice in the matter

[Music]

all right Cameron you said we had a

guest today we do dr. London okay

hello I’m do bid I am Cupid’s half twin

brother dude what’s up hello my name is

dr. London smith.com

this is Cameron what brings you to the

show or dupit am I saying that correctly

yes if you get past me you’re meant to

be and also D comes after C oh so you’re

a your half-brother of Cupid half twin

brothers twin brother okay are you

identical twins or we’re fraternal twins

okay we have different fathers all right

so what what you know how a dog can have

many different puppies from any

different parent dogs yes I never asked

them my mother has the same Anatomy as a

dog

although she is a goddess Cupid’s father

is as you know mercury and my father is

a troll you have to give riddles to to

get across his bridge you have to give

this troll riddles or you have to answer

the trolls riddles it’s a back and forth

exchange okay it’s kind of like he gives

you a riddle you have to answer it but

then you kind of give him one that he

can use later maybe are you used meant

to hang out eventually

yes he has a wonderful sunroom okay and

you just it’s just a riddle game with

each other well your your father sounds

nice as you know cupid shoots arrows

into unsuspecting future couples and I

come in about six months later I

challenge you when you fight me you get

stronger if you can’t make it past me

you’re not meant to be and also Dee

comes after see whoa I picked up on that

earlier so this is what you mean by we

have to get past you as you do we have

to defeat you in battle is that right

you could almost describe it as a battle

I think I think what dupit is saying is

six months into a relationship

hmm dupa drains certain challenges to

either strengthen the relationship or

end the relation look cupid is all lovey

dovey and easy that’s the beginning part

of relationships and making them fall in

love but if the human comes in six

months later and has them kind of prove

their love right when you start to

notice the way he chews you’re in the

ring with dupit oh wow

okay when you notice that she’s just

putting her dishes in the sink rather

than dishwasher I’m their issues with

laundry I’m sure I but before we keep

listing these things I guess what I’m

wondering so what brings you here today

it’s just to kind of help us get a grip

on because I guess Cameron’s in a

long relationship now we’ve been through

many many rounds it’s oh so it’s every

six months you come back it varies what

is a very bi what what are the factors

that bring you around besides we know

the first round is six months into a

relationship so beyond that let’s say

we’re let’s say we’re talking about a

thirty year marriage

well actually what if we talked about

your 15 year relationship okay little

bit easier just for an example so what

are the things in in my relationship

that’s summin dupit when i start to see

that you don’t think she’s cute and

cuddly anymore

you think she’s fat and lazy that’s me

so you made her fat and lazy like a huge

pig or you manifest as her fat no I

start to whisper into Cameron’s ear so

she gets fat and lazy on around and then

you come along to make me notice it it’s

the way you view her when you were early

on in the relationship you thought she

was cute and cuddly you thought she was

like a rabbit and like I didn’t notice

that she was fat and lazy before but she

had been the entire time like a shallow

house situation it’s all about

perspective Wow okay so really that the

challenge that you bring to a given

relationship is just notifying a given

person about flaws and their significant

other when you speak positively about

someone when you tell the truth you say

you’re bringing something to light when

you tell the negative truth you are

bringing it into the shadow so I’m just

cute

shadow basically and I am trying to show

you the other side of things yes she

could be viewed as cute and cuddly but

she can also be viewed as fat and lazy

and that is the part that I bring out if

you can acknowledge that she’s fat and

lazy and still love her you have won the

round with DuPage and I still did and

she’s gotten fatter and lazier every

single year and cuter I suddenly don’t

love that just fat lazy person dupit can

you give me some examples that you’ve

done recently in in different

relationships not anyone here but your

involvement in someone’s relationship I

guess I have a question I think he’s

leading up to a question about me what

he read in my diary so I had talked to a

girl and I had kind of freaked out over

something I said in the conversation and

I sent a very long text the next day

followed up with an email that that was

longer and and then they said oh I

didn’t even know that but so I guess I’m

wondering is my overanalyzing was that

you I was working on her Oh what was she

oh it’s it Oh to see how bad I was

unfortunately okay so that just marked

okay that’s just another mark against me

apparently she did not pass the

challenge she didn’t want to okay all

right well that okay so that’s an

example I guess of of the interplay with

someone that’s not in this room I mean

are you involved like a common one that

I’ve you know heard about is someone

leaving their dirty clothes on the floor

and maybe their partner getting upset

about that oh yeah that’s a hundred

percent me so what’s your involvement of

that do you come in and do you tell the

person hey just leave your clothes on

the floor it doesn’t matter you’re

already in a relationship right who

years or are you on the other side of it

the person does that by their own free

will and you’re in the other person’s

ear saying hey did you notice those

clothes although the floor they don’t

appreciate you both sides know I’m on

the side of the person who doesn’t leave

the laundry Wow so you don’t necessarily

create flaws and people I point them out

yeah you’re more about shining a light

on them or a share or a shadow as you

had said before yeah yes okay I have

another one so one time I was at a

museum and I was staring at this this

attractive girl there and like she would

move on to look at another painting and

that would fall a little bit like fairly

distant not not trying to not be weird

nearby and then I would say that if you

have to question the distance that

you’re moving behind someone it’s

already weird but go ahead well I guess

that’s really the whole that was the

whole encounter

I like you I were you talking about the

petite redhead at the Louvre okay yeah

yes that’d be that’d be her yes cupid

had shot you and I showed up immediately

what did you what did you what what did

you point out to this redhead I said

that man is going to kill you Oh make

sense okay so you just

you spoke those specific where you

didn’t say like oh he could be a stalker

you just said that man is going to kill

you speaking to a woman doesn’t take

much I could just say look at that man

behind you and she would already say

he’s going to murder me yeah I guess

that makes sense especially when the man

behind her is calculating how much

distance is between him and her and

pretending to look at paintings oh yeah

changing the situation to make it seem

like he’s keeping a further distance

than he wants to my job’s not hard when

it comes to bending people off from dr.

London yeah that’s that kind of makes

sense but it does sort of sound like

you’re not just pointing out the flaws

but your course sort of

leaping to conclusions about what those

flaws might be is that part of your job

we’re not feeling sassy okay so in that

example with the clothes on the floor

and you come in and you’re not just

telling them oh hey did you notice the

clothes he left on this floor are you

telling them some of the other things as

well I usually say they have a horrible

mental disorder that makes sense okay

like a hoarder that kind of thing

exactly okay all right uh okay well it’s

just do you I’ve always wanted to ask

cupid this but I feel like I can ask you

this as well because I’m sure would

apply but do you ever find love yourself

love is impossible for me oh no there’s

no love in the shadows well have you

thought about you know turning on a

light going outside during the daytime

not if I’m gonna protect my bridge

oh I’m you have a bridge I guess we

hadn’t specifically established this

because I know you’re your father when

he passed away I had to take over the

bridge as well I’m doing many jobs okay

so are you exchanging riddles as well

like is that part of your side gig

I don’t do riddles so much as I do

stand-up comedy uh-huh oh that’s so much

worse that is harsh and that’s from your

bridge or I guess you go out to comedy

clubs and then do people who go to your

bridge then just have to be subjected to

your comedy I wouldn’t use the word

subjected okay get to enjoy before they

are allowed to cross my bridge okay all

right this actually sounds difficult

because that sounds like you have two

separate jobs all right and is how is

the pay for having you’re guarding

you’re guarding a bridge correct I don’t

think the gods and I mean trolls and

whatnot I’m not sure they’re getting

paid I’m not either not in the sense we

don’t get paid in the sense that you

understand well in what sense do you

this is all new to me

just presenting my understanding we feed

on emotional energy okay

so pay is very good for me so you get

paid by making people feel worse not

necessarily not with the comedy stuff

but with the like hurdles that you throw

in relationships or is it just feeling

at all or do you get paid in the

satisfaction of making their

relationship stronger when they know

okay sorry

oh wow okay no the strength that they

have to exude to defeat me is what I

feed on okay that makes sense

okay and it’s emotional strength that

they’re fighting with what I mean do you

could you like what is one of the harder

challenges you’ve given someone is there

I mean is there like a big challenge

you’ve ever thrown into a relationship I

once put broccoli and somebody’s teeth I

would do it for 15 years would do it

Cameron yeah you’ve been in a

relationship for 15 years correct yeah

that’s true

have you noticed I’ve noticed something

like do you do you floss floss

yeah like the fortnight like the dance

like the backpack kid well they don’t

only make that sound effect but yeah

that dance

yeah no I’m talking about for dental for

oral care oh yeah I get taken care of

okay I’m sorry I meant for dentistry no

no no no no floss no never okay and

you’ve never thought like I should I

should go ahead and floss now I do it

every day just okay I guess no further

questions there that it sounds like

you’ve got a as long as you you haven’t

felt the need no one in your life anyone

you’re you’re in a relationship with

know me and my fat lazy girlfriend are

very happy okay and no one has any

concerns for what’s in the others teeth

no no one’s looked at each other’s teeth

and years so that’s never an issue no

one’s you don’t look at each other’s

teeth for years

no she’s fat and lazy what she’s too

lazy to look at my teeth and I’m too

disgusted oh by her teeth yeah is there

broccoli in them yeah okay okay well I

guess

dupa died I guess that that’s is this

what you’re referring to

don’t you understand patient autonomy

yeah that’s right okay oh we could was

there anything else stupid that you

needed to sort of to tell us like a

reason why you came to this podcast

specifically to the jock Dawg podcast I

was bored

with the two jobs I guess yeah okay well

thank you for coming dupit in the in in

this upcoming Valentine season is there

maybe kind of any hint that we’ll see

you out and about like while we’re out

and about looking at other couples

getting into fights I mean is there any

clue that you’re you’re among us I do

have plans for a young woman who’s about

to get very interested in farming

tarantulas mm that’ll do it okay all

right well thank you for being on the

show thank you to digital in the hose

[Music]

pump that blood throughout the body pump

that blood throughout the body pump that

blood throughout the body have to dress

what your party

thank you to our producer Cameron and my

name is dr. Lennon smith.com this has

been the jock doc podcast see ya

pump that blood throughout the body pump

that blood throughout the body pump that

blood throughout the body have to dress

whoop

before you flip a coin well the closest

thing you had to a coin which is your

graduation cap it came up heads you grab

the next closest thing to a coin and try

to flip that but it is actually a coin

purse and it barely even flips finally

you realize that maybe you will not be

able to make this decision with a mere

coin flip you reach your verdict the

decision that may haunt you for several

if not a very few minutes to come you

utter the words toasted and the sandwich

artist puts your sandwich in the oven

you realize that you made the right

choice

speaking of right choices it is time to

write that five star review of the jock

duck podcast that you’ve been meaning to

do and while you’re at it go ahead and

share the jock duck podcast with

everyone in your phone contacts you can

send them a link to your favorite

episode or just send them the link to

JockDocPodcast.com or they can

find their preferred way to listen and

don’t forget to yell at us on social

media we are @JockDocPodcast

thanks for listening

[Music]

[Applause]

34: Mycotic Aneurysm/Pastor Jerry

Well hey kids you are about to listen to

a couple of odd gasps that means that

none of this is medical advice if you

need medical advice medical care please

contact your doctor welcome to the Jock

Doc Podcast featuring Dr. London Smith

catch a vibe with the doctor and his

woke producer Cameron introducing your

host Dr. London hello and welcome to the

Jock Doc Podcast where we discuss

fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring I’m

your host Dr. London smith.com I would

like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we’ve received some feedback

about the the use of technical medical

terminology such as embolic stroke and

bundle up so I will try to speak with

more simplified terminology in the

future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron hello friends from

every part of the globe from the North

Pole to the South Pole

alright hello wow that’s that’s a broad

scope yeah I mean use you seem to focus

on a very specific demographic in your

day to day job which is sick people

mm-hmm I hope for this podcast we’d be a

little more inclusive than that and it’s

not just the chronically ill I know that

that’s all you care about because that’s

where you make your moolah but I would

hope this podcast is not limited because

of that well we we also focus on you

know keeping healthy people healthy so

like preventive care is that what you

hear when you say stuff like that to

change

I mean usually I just you know hear a

patient speaking and talk about their

their problems but um to change alright

so as I said this is our producer

Cameron Cameron is so very dedicated to

making the jock dog podcast relevant to

our listeners that when he heard it was

Black History Month he began to gather a

funeral attire from previous decades in

an attempt to relive this black history

so Cameron now you’re dressed in your

stovepipe hat and your hoop skirt oh and

Brad’s right but Black History Month is

recreating Sean Connery’s classic James

Bond suit right the hoop skirt the hoop

skirt at the top hat

yeah his most iconic look besides his

look from League of Extraordinary

Gentlemen which is his most famous

that’s the only yeah oh I know of Sean

Connery’s actually that I who is the

other one cuz I know League I know the

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen that’s

really give legends the other the other

who’s the other main role what you said

in what James you said he was in another

room oh yeah uh jameth II boned okay so

he wore a hat for that yeah he was a I

mean he’s a police officer I guess you

know he’s a Bobby as they say over in

the across the pond oh that’s why I

didn’t get it cuz it takes its that

journey across the pond it like I I’m

sort of a British a file okay and so you

know I know kind of like niche BBC type

of stuff like that but yeah you probably

wouldn’t recognize that yeah no I just I

hadn’t even heard of like until League

of Extraordinary Gentlemen came out I

hadn’t heard of Sean Connery yeah like

outside of that so this is actually a

fun fact for you know maybe some of our

other British show files out there would

know is that the actual the country of

the United Kingdom has a city named like

your name London

I guess no I never thought about that

okay

everyone there they are they ride these

bicycles that are stacked on top they’re

two layered bicycles okay and you know

there’s the bobbies I’m not and like the

Pistons I think they got a Dunkin Donuts

they recently so yeah Wow they’ve got

everything okay

such as to clarify for our listeners

listeners um Black History Month is

actually an annual celebration of

achievements by African Americans and a

time for recognizing the central role of

African Americans in US history so like

as as great as your outfit today is

Cameron and I guess you’re gonna be

doing this all month wearing you know

various attire from back in the day I

just want to let you know that that’s

not I didn’t say that okay it’s just I

guess the expectation okay in case also

with us is did you do the hose what

expectation you’re rebuking me and then

at the same time you’re expecting me to

come up with more outfits well this is a

leap here dr. London we have an extra

day to worry about okay cuz for me it

can’t come up with that many outfits

okay so that’s the problem is for me it

was the Black History Month because it’s

a month I assume that you were gonna

keep this up for more than one day but

again you’re just kind of making stuff

up and then setting these ridiculous

expectations that I’ll never be able to

meet this is all this is just typical

you okay yeah I’m sorry about that I

must have misunderstood also with us is

DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

Black History Month is an annual

celebration of achievements by African

Americans while they’ve got everything

[Music]

Wow they’ve got everything and later

Cameron tells me that we can expect a

special guest on the show that is true

dr. London all right so go ahead and

look forward to that before we move on I

would like to address a bit of listener

feedback this week a fan actually tried

to contact me by pigeon carrier but that

pigeon was unfortunately shot down with

an arrow containing a note from another

fan so so I did get a message it just

wasn’t the original the pigeon won so

that that message from the arrow that

one reads as follows quote my grandson

shove one up his nose and said he’s

getting a piercing disrespectful end

quote so first of all thank you so much

to that Archer for your question for I

assume that’s also a listener we hear

the jock talk podcast loved hear from

our listeners and we are elated at the

chance to address your concerns to

answer your question I am so sorry to

hear that your grandson shoved an object

up his nose and that it resulted in a

piercing the nose is highly vascularized

so even a small trauma can result in a

lot of blood so I guess my advice here

would be if it is a deep cut or if it

continues bleeding go ahead and see a

doctor about it so they can assess it in

person but thank you for your question

if it’s a deep cut see a but the but

being the kind of the British term for a

doctor as yourself oh I didn’t but if

there is no cut you can sit on your butt

that’s a classic this is all a classic

British thing okay I guess I wasn’t

familiar which and also this is a great

segue dr. London to a new segment I have

been trying to introduce for a while you

keep shooting down my segment idea but

it sounds like you’re kind of cueing me

up for it it’s where we talk about all

of our piercings oh it’s the Pierce

palace

it’s the Pierce pounds it appears Palast

which the Pierce post appears palace

yeah you have this much to go back and

forth real quick adjust we’re just gonna

do a lightning round a speed round and

we’re gonna list every single piercing

we have so you go first

uh I guess I’ve been stuck by needle

before in my finger okay that counts

that’s fine okay alright so my turn so

you know the place in between your pinky

finger and your ring finger okay and

it’s sort of the how do I say this in a

non disgusting way it’s sort of the

crotch area of those fingers does that

make sense

unfortunately it does

you mean like the webbing in between yes

yes and that’s been that’s pierced so

now you go ahead on which hand my left

hand because that’s the one that’s

connected straight to your heart

yes okay he who told you that that it’s

connected to your heart well no that’s

an old that’s an old sort of saying in

terms of like why you wear your

engagement ring or your wedding ring is

your left hand ring fingers because that

has a certain vein that goes straight to

your heart I say by following that same

logic if I put a badass kind of

cool-looking piercing right there well

then my heart’s a little badass I’m

pretty cool okay alright well I guess my

next piercing would be I am I got a shot

in my shoulder for the flu it was a flu

vaccine so that is extremely interesting

cuz I my next one is also a shoulder

piercing okay so on my right shoulder

you know how people get those like

little barbells in their nose sometimes

they kind of look like barbells are like

straight with little like you know yeah

yeah I think so

so instead of a normal who praying it’s

just a straight bar yeah so it’s sort of

like that but it’s on my shoulder and

the shoulder is a bigger part of the

body than the nose so I have a 30 pound

barbell sort of stuck through

skin well it’s kind of at this point

grafted into my skin that you can see

right here oh wow

yeah and so you can see it’s sticking

out it does make it hard to get in and

out of doors and cars yeah but again I

think it looks pretty neat yeah well you

and you hang a lot of cell phones yeah I

mean it burns like yeah it does look

into that your ever it’s definitely it

definitely infects the room with a sense

of attitude

yeah well and like the the bucket you’re

keeping under you for the have you oh I

was gonna ask have you seen a doctor

about it but I guess this is you are my

daughter yeah this is me so do we want

to do another round or do we want to

wrap this up uh I think I mean I could

share one more that I got yeah do one

okay so and this one’s a little bit more

private and uncomfortable but I actually

I got I was feeling pretty ill so I got

a steroid shot in the and the but oh

yeah oh that’s disgusting

yeah okay sick oh my gosh that is

disgusting yeah I’m sorry I’m sorry

I shouldn’t have I shouldn’t have said

that yeah that that’s kind of rude and

that’s gross yeah I apologize and

yourself anyway my next piercings all my

ballsack

it hangs there it kind of just goes back

and forth and it’s I mean that this also

is huge I can’t tell if the swelling

that’s going on down there is because of

the piercing or it’s because of the

immense pain that the piercing is

causing but I know it’s one of those it

does explain why you’re not only leaning

over one bucket but you’re also sitting

in another one no yeah the pus yeah I’m

okay I’m very sorry to our listeners I’m

sorry about that

we can we can move on from what did we

call this piercing Pierce Pierce palace

that’s

right yep okay we’ll go to move on from

there and now for a tale from the clinic

we had an overweight spanish-speaking

patient present with lumps and bumps on

his arms on visual inspection these

appear to be a classic case of lipomas

which are benign growths of fatty tissue

when I said this to the translator the

patient began freaking out a little bit

now when most people hear a word ending

in OMA they assume that it is cancer

even though OMA simply refers as a

German grandmother I well it refers to a

in medicine at least it refers to a

growth or a mass not necessarily so rude

yeah I’d call German grandmother’s a

growth or a mass that is so rude dr.

London but go ahead I know you’re aiming

for a younger demographic for the show

once you’re trying to alienate our

elderly listeners but that’s fine and I

should clarify here I’m not I’m not

trying to alienate anyone that’s not a

goal of mine but I just this is sort of

just the definition of this suffix is

it’s a growth or a mass not necessarily

cancerous so anyway so back to this

patient so that patient had a family

history of cancer and for that reason he

immediately became panicked

fortunately the the translator did

manage to convey the reality of this

this likely benign diagnosis and the

patient did you know calm down a little

bit and now for today’s medical do you

figure this all you figured this all out

visually I’m sorry visually yeah you

said that up top visually but you didn’t

even you didn’t even attempt to try any

of the other senses is this the kind of

care I’m getting when I’m going to my

doctor doctor London I’m sorry I did

only gonna he’s only gonna test out one

of the senses he’s gonna ignore the five

other ones yes I did you did you taste

this patient at all well what I was

gonna say is I did touch the small

growths the fatty touching I did touch

as well to it a five yeah but I did you

sniff it

know what if it’s what if it what if the

sniff would tell you everything you

needed to know well I’m I’m not aware of

a clinical you know scenario in which

that the sniffing would necessarily tell

me that much about these growths you’ve

never been around a sick person that

just was stinky yeah I have never been

around a single stinky sick person in

your life oh that is starting well I

have but that the the smell of them

doesn’t necessarily tell me the

diagnosis or how to treat which is the

there are golden retrievers in old folks

homes that can detect cancer you’re

saying I’m getting better treatment from

an old dog than I am from my old doctor

well so so dogs can actually sniff they

can have a greater sense of smell than I

do

all right let’s go to taste yeah well in

any case did you taste these growths at

all the the gross were actually under

the skin so if I tried to taste I would

just be tasting skin so that’s one issue

with that okay I do so okay I will

concede that that is an issue yeah but

all sweet did you give him a kiss at

least no I’m not sure how that would

have helped I don’t know I mean my

brighten his day a little bit that maybe

but he also it might upset him

as well well you can ask you don’t just

spring it on him you sick right anyway

okay you can go ahead so this patient

they did calm down after we told them

the reality of the benign diagnosis that

the likelihood yeah the ineffective

under Oh diagnosis go ahead next segment

now for today’s medical topic mycotic

aneurysm now an aneurysm is an excessive

localized enlargement of an artery

caused by a weakening of the arterial

wall mycotic is a reference to an

infection typically fungal in nature so

a mycotic aneurysm is an aneurysm

resulting from day

to the aortic wall secondary to

infection in such cases blood cultures

are usually positive for the infectious

agent and the treatment is generally

with IV antibiotics and surgical

excision and also we don’t support blood

culture on this show I just want to say

that I want to get out in front of that

before we’ve heard accusations Crips

Bloods it doesn’t matter we don’t

necessarily support that culture we do

want all those people to listen to this

podcast so we don’t necessarily you know

criticize it we’re not we’re not

necessarily saying one way or the other

but definitely no vocal support for

blood culture go ahead dr. London yeah

okay and I this is my fault I should

have clarified that whenever I say blood

culture I am referring to the the

growing bacteria from the blood so you

take a culture which is a term for a

little you know like a petri dish kind

of thing and you grow that you see what

develops and based on that and its

reaction to antibiotics you can find out

how to effectively treat whatever

bacteria or fungus or whatever else is

in the blood does that make sense

mm-hmm okay well we’ll go ahead and move

on from there then all right Cameron you

said we have a guest today is that right

we absolutely do dr. London all right

well hello there my name is dr. London

smith.com this is Cameron our producer

what is your name

my name is is Gerald Fitzgerald but I

prefer you call me pastor Jerry okay

well nice to meet you pastor Jerry thank

you

yeah all right so uh so what brings you

on the show today

why now I’ve been traveling around the

country and trying to to just you know

spread the good word and and heal people

I okay you know I think we have

something in common here

or yeah you’re a little bit I am yes I

go around and and I do what some people

refer to us as faith healings the laying

on of hands and well you know exorcising

demons which are quite frequently the

cause of people’s illnesses

I found okay so let’s let’s get to know

you a little better where are you from

I’m originally from from Oregon out a

little ways always east of Portland in a

town called boring boring Oregon okay

yeah I went to a little church out there

I bounced around various churches see

you were and you were you were raised as

raised religious started presbyterian

you know did Lutheran try Baptist I was

all over the place and you know I became

a pastor cuz I thought just you know I

just no one’s doing it right no one

really has the truth and and that’s why

you you don’t see as many of these

miraculous healings anymore as is just

because you know people aren’t following

the truth okay so you’re you believe

that none of these people have found the

truth and that’s why you became a pastor

well I I was yeah I’ve always been I

would call it a seeker of truth

okay I’ve always been looking for the

truth and and that eventually led me

down the path of I I thought you know I

of course I had pastors I looked up to

growing up and and people who taught me

I would say but I as I continued to

learn and study the scriptures you know

I just found well heck I think I I can

be a leader and a mentor and and and

then once I started practicing these

faith healings you know well I I really

had something going there and that’s why

I started focusing on

what is the what is this truth that you

keep speaking about oh it’s I think when

you when you look at how how miracles

used to occur yeah we have lots of

stories of miracles and of course those

are factual and you don’t hear about

those quite so much anymore and and

that’s because there’s this this lack of

faith you see and no offense doctor but

but III think that you know people going

to see these doctors and and and this

modern medicine is a lot of what causes

it

yes okay and you feel that way because I

guess taking a pill might seem less um

less helpful for a person’s inner soul

than maybe what you’re preaching is that

what you mean what I mean is it comes

down to two faiths you know and and if

you’re going to call on our good Lord to

save you from an illness or or to cast

out a demon you know it’s you have to

have faith and if you’re going in and

relying on modern medicine then clearly

there’s a lack of faith there you don’t

really have faith that the Lord will

deliver you from your illness

okay see whenever with my patients what

I try to describe is that you know a

patient can have faith depending on

their faith it could also work with the

medicine nope whatever they believe in

can work through me does that make sense

well I it sounds like what the pastor

saying is that that does not make sense

and that you guys are sort of mortal

enemies is that am i getting close

Cameron thank you again I I mean no

offense I have nothing against you

personally but I do have something

against nearly everyone in Europe chosen

profession and how would that sound if

you were trying to offend him personally

well if I was trying to offend him

personally I would say that he is an

enemy of the Lord and deserves to be

smitten okay but I mean no offense to

you personally okay but you believe that

I should be smitten well that’s neither

here nor there I suppose so

I’m not I’m not bringing that up here of

course this is your show and thank you

again for having me on I I got none

actually

in my travels a couple different you

know medical advice radio programs

I was not necessarily on for the whole

program and was shown out of the

building on one of them but nonetheless

thank you for having me on of course

yeah and we always you know appreciate

having different perspectives on the

show so that we can discuss because I

don’t want to shy away from you know

different every patient is different and

some people believe much more in faith

healing and you know as for me I you

know I I can’t dispense that because I’m

a person but what I can give is you know

medical opinions but I’d like to get

back to so have you been on tour with

like you’ve you’ve been traveling around

you said you could call it a tour I mean

I don’t have a fancy tour bus or

anything like that well what do you have

what do you what are you traveling

around in or with it’s a public

transportation is it is it a tent

alright it’s a it’s a Volkswagen yeah

say 1987 Volkswagen van again okay and

yeah I guess I do kind of have a tour

bus okay it’s not a tour bus it I do

live in it so it’s sort of a support

home it is it a tour van yes with meager

accommodations you know no no I have a

camp stove that I cook on and and the

Lord provides

is that why you were putting a lot of

our I mean I don’t I I don’t mean to

stir anything up here but we we like to

keep a few snacks out for our guests

seen before you even spoke to us you

were kind of stuffing as much of that as

you can into your pockets which is fine

yes right yeah yeah that’s for you oh

and I appreciate it yeah yeah but that I

mean it it it sort of seems like it

gives us a glimpse into maybe what’s a

little bit of your lifestyle I mean are

you are you okay

are you listen as I say the Lord

provides I I was hungry this morning

but manna from heaven came in the form

of Cheetos and and various other chips

that you provide for your guests

yeah but these are I mean these are old

Cheetos like these Cheetos that you know

they’re hard you’ve been chewing on it

you’ve been chewing on the same cheeto

for I mean at least 20 minutes now and

it’s much more satisfying that way if I

do say so myself

otherwise they they’d be gone by now

okay well and I guess I also noticed you

were filling up those giant jugs of

water from from the sink here that also

when you came in and I I guess I have

the same sort of concerns as Cameron how

how long have you been on this this to

work I guess we can keep going it I mean

if we can even call it a tourist so far

it sort of sounds like you in a van I’m

not I don’t know not I don’t want to

cause any offence again I have been I

mean I have been I have been driving

around yeah and yeah but you’ve been

drink

you’ve been driving but what are these

stops like so let’s say let’s say you

get to one of your your destinations

what happens well I find a place to park

sometimes that’s Walmart parking lot

sometimes drive up some country roads

find a place out of the way and that’s

where I’ll set up my my base as it were

and during the days I drive into town if

I can find maybe a street market

Saturday market type thing is often

great on the weekends I will oftentimes

get out the old megaphone and you know

start speaking to the people so so

whenever I guess what I was really

expecting to hear is that you have maybe

been stopping at different churches on

the way but from what you’re describing

here it just sounds like you’re stopping

wherever you can get free parking and

Church doesn’t even come to mind

yeah even like a revival tent or

something along I mean it sounds like

you’re going to just sort of a fish

market and kind of yelling at people

with the megaphone

well now okay that when you say it that

way it doesn’t sound quite so glamorous

as for churches and that is my fight

I apologize that is my fault that is my

own vanity and greed thinking that it

has to be fancy to be true and I

apologize well yes thank you I

appreciate your honesty and yeah I’ll be

honest too when it comes to churches I

was stopping at churches for a while but

you know like I said a lot of these

churches out there they just this is

controversial stuff for them and I don’t

don’t know why I I think it’s well

grounded in scriptures and and clearly I

the work speaks for itself but a lot of

times they just don’t have the patience

for that and some of these churches

you’re you’re sort of saying they don’t

let you come back right yeah you know

you know I can have a tender my t’v

noticed I can have a tendency to kind of

come on strong and I would actually say

you’re coming on extremely weak I don’t

know I don’t mean any offense there

either but it and that’s not because I

you’re gripping my shoulders now to

shake me but you’re not I wanna be me

it’s just so it’s like even the grip is

just so desperate I think that’s the

yeah you’re shaking not me well I I

don’t call me weak because I have the

strength of the Lord behind me but I I

don’t it doesn’t look like you have the

strength to stand me and I I don’t know

I’m doing just fine thank you okay so

what I’ve got a note though like so some

of these churches they’re not letting

you back you’re saying it’s because they

don’t follow necessarily the same things

that you followed that you found in the

scriptures could you maybe elaborate a

little bit like an example of what

happened at one of these turns yeah is

not inviting you anymore some feedback I

have gotten for one particular church

was that I used the word blasphemy too

liberally perhaps you know I showed up

on a Sunday because that’s when people

were at the church and it just happened

to be when I was driving into town so I

show up there and you know maybe I

didn’t give him a fair shake maybe I

should have probed their theology a

little bit more but I brought out the

megaphone and started you know just

letting these people know what I thought

about about their about their beliefs

and their lack of faith

so there’s no in the middle of a Sunday

service without talking to these people

at all yeah well I was just walking and

then start telling them that they don’t

have faith yes I was hoping to catch

them as they were walking into the

church but I pulled up while church was

already in service so I just thought I’d

you slow stick with the plan yeah I

thought I’d just stick with the plan and

just walk in and still use the megaphone

of course of course yeah but and just

you know let them know that because it’s

a concern the lack of faith that I see

in the world I you know I I have nothing

but the best intentions for helping

people here and sometimes I think the

best way to help people is by pointing

out what I see as their inadequacies in

a very blunt fashion huh okay

and you’ve well it sounds like you’ve

maybe found some issues with that

approach are you are you sure that

that’s the approach you want to keep

using Wow

I mean I’ll I’ll keep working as the

Lord leads but this is this is just how

I feel convicted that things need to go

and honestly you know and uh when when

people don’t see eye to eye with me I

just take that as a sign that that I’m

really doing the right thing you know

it’s just a confirmation of what I’m

doing okay

all right Cameron do we have any

sponsors today we do dr. London okay

alright is it another is it sort of a

medical like tracking app like to check

your heartbeats or check for age I would

consider it part of the medical field I

mean I know a lot of what you deal with

this physical but wouldn’t you say that

the emotional a sparked wouldn’t you say

that the emotional part of a human being

is just as important as the physical yes

so that has an impact the psycho

psychology and emotional aspect sure

that hasn’t absolutely I mean obviously

like stress or not being stressed these

things can manifest themselves

physically fear happiness these things

these things have physical side effects

so the this today we’re dealing with an

app I’m not dealing with an app where

were being sponsored by an app okay and

this dr. Linda this is one of my

favorite apps in a long long time this

is way better than draw something okay

so is this like a like a meditation app

no it’s not so much meditation as it is

what would be a form of meditation where

you outsource your meditation to other

people does that make sense no okay what

about the idea of outsourcing your

emotions that you can no longer feel

anymore

to other people does that make sense no

but okay so they’re our sponsors

offering to outsource an emotion that we

no longer possess this app is called a

motion potion dr. London and what what

this app does is it takes all the

emotions that you cannot process anymore

so let’s say Christmas joy you know this

this is a common one you you feel a

certain magical specialness around the

holidays okay and as a child but then as

you get older that sort of special spark

that magic feeling in the air so

goes away right yeah yeah yeah I have

noticed that but if you want to capture

that feeling again but you cannot

physically capture it because you can’t

feel it anymore what you can do is you

can find someone in this app to feel

that emotion for you and show you what

it’s like oh so they what do they take a

video of themselves

I guess being happy for Christmas yeah

we put you in contact with them if you

want to do video if you want to do snail

mail if you want to do I mean just an

iamb chat whatever they can convey that

however they want it honestly there’s

actually a function in this app where if

they want to come over and just kind of

show you what’s going on that’s great

too this is actually perfect for let’s

say Thanksgiving dinner let’s say you

it’s impossible for you to conjure up

any kind of positive feelings for your

family anymore so Thanksgiving dinner

you go there you find someone in this

app you they can either you know

FaceTime in or they can physically show

it to the dinner and then they’ll show

your friends and family what it’s like

to be excited for them huh so they get

dinner well what about something right

the love that you used to be able to

show towards let’s say your parents or

your siblings now your emotional

surrogate can just do all that for you

well you just set on your phone so I

guess what about I guess a closer

example would be Valentine’s Day how

would you I guess that’s a great one

that is that’s actually one of their

selling points is for dead relationships

oh my gosh you got Valentine’s Day

birthdays an anniversary you’ve got all

of these days or even if you’re in this

dead relationship when you haven’t loved

each other in years and years you’re

still expected to like you know pull out

the red carpet roll out the red carpet

and do all this fancy stuff for

everything and I just can’t I can’t deal

with that anymore and so what you can do

is you can find someone and in this app

again they can either email your spouse

or they can I am with your spouse or

give them a FaceTime call or they can

just show up and they can show your

spouse what it would be like if you

still love

ah okay I guess I guess for some people

that would be advantageous to me I would

feel like dissing genuine about it oh

it’s a completely distant what you say

dissing genuine disingenuous do so when

you’re – so John you when you’re gone

yep

yes it is exactly this node

Joran and that is exactly true okay well

it’s it’s a negative thing is why I why

I brought it up because when you’re

genuine with people that means you’re

real you’re open you’re honest when

you’re disingenuous then you’re sort of

the opposite you’re hiding your true

self you’re you’re presenting a fake

self let’s say your cousin Sammy dies

okay and you didn’t really know Sammy

that much like he’s kind of on a side of

that family that’s sort of distant they

live in another state not like hard

feelings between the family or anything

it’s just more of a convenience thing

they just they don’t really visit for

holidays you don’t visit them for

holidays you probably haven’t spoken to

Sammy in like 15-20 years

okay but you still you feel obligated to

go to this funeral and to like you know

conjure up some sort of emotion right so

what you can do give a call to your

emotional surrogate through the emotion

potion app and say hey can you give me a

few tears my cousin Sammy died don’t

know how he died because I didn’t care

to ask and then you can just kind of

hold it out and let people talk to the

surrogate and see the surrogate cry and

they’ll understand the emotion that

you’re trying to conjure up huh okay I

didn’t realize that there was a market

for that but oh yeah there’s already 35

million users that’s how popular this

app is wow that’s impressive okay I I

guess I I expect to be able to be more I

guess emotionally in touch and to try

like to try to do that for themselves

but I guess if you’re if it’s too much

people have been trying to get in to get

in touch with their own emotions for

decades

and has that works no okay

people people trying to like recapture

happiness all these things does that

ever work absolutely not you know what

works feeling like you can’t meditate

anymore like we you were taught asking

in the beginning of this ad and then

saying you know what I’m not getting

anything out of meditation so I’m gonna

pay $35 for a surrogate for them to

meditate and then they can just tell me

whatever revelations that that came from

it

okay all right well this well I can just

sit on my ass and watch TV sure all I

wanted to do in the first place okay all

right well I guess um yes what was this

called again if you step on something

sharp let’s say like a sharp rock right

but your foot is so calloused because of

how many likes sharp and piercing things

you’ve stepped on in your lifetime so

it’s just a big nasty block of dead skin

but you wish you could feel something

pull someone up on the sap guess what

they’re gonna do for you

take a guess dr. Litton they’ll they’ll

feel the pain yeah they’re gonna step on

something in the girl yeah ouch okay

yeah I guess I guess I just don’t see

that I would need that smart with that

many users I guess that this is a need

people have so that sounds that sounds

great I guess it doesn’t you know

certainly doesn’t sound bad for the

listeners so um next time a family

member dies next time a boyfriend breaks

your heart next time and the animal runs

away or comes back but you can’t find

any emotions to feel give the emotion

potion a try

and that I came to Google Playstore

thank you for that

[Music]

like I do really want to press this

question we didn’t get to earlier how

long you’ve been how long have you been

doing this oh yeah you know preaching

driving around that’s I that’s been

going on for about the past three years

since my lovely wife died oh I’m so

sorry to hear that

Wow there was nothing we could do I

prayed my hardest okay yeah and and so

following following that that must have

been difficult and sort of your response

to that was to go on the road and share

the good news that you already knew I

guess is that right yeah I guess you

could say that I thought you know well

my wife is gone I’m a single man now I I

am no longer tethered to this specific

location and to be honest going out

there on the streets and shouting at

people there they knew me by that point

and and would just avoid me like the

plague and so I thought well maybe I

should take this on the streets I’d take

it on the road I should say so whenever

you approach a church yeah

you’ve already said you you yelling a

megaphone have you thought about maybe

joining one of these churches and

finding a place you know settling down a

little bit cuz it’s been three four

years now yeah it’s yeah it’s it’s

starting to toll on me and like I said

you know that the Lord does provide but

I somehow and I still as you alluded to

it’s having a toll on me it’s taking a

toll physically and now of course any

ailments that might come up I have faith

that they’ll go away on their own off

the Lord Allah will take them from me

but it has been taking a toll

I I don’t know if I could muster up the

humility that it would be required of me

to keep my mouth shut at a established

congregation but right I was gonna ask

about your I mean your illnesses if you

don’t mind yeah so Camryn has his

buckets here I don’t know if you heard

that portion he’s got some fun stuff you

brought your own bucket for what seems

to be a leak from your ear and how long

has that been going on well you know

that that’s been about three or four

months but I all I can imagine is that

this is just I’m overflowing of the

spirit okay in liquid so whenever it’s

yeah but it’s a lot and you keep wincing

every time it does it kind of its kind

of gurgling kind of comes and goes in

waves and Winnick yeah when it gurgles a

lot you kind of go in my ear it’s loud

but I think that that is the still small

voice it’s loud it’s the your disease is

loud it did the gurgling in my ear yeah

it’s right up right against the eardrum

so so the painful part is how loud it is

I mean it doesn’t doesn’t help it yeah

there is also some pressure which I

assume is again just the fullness of the

spirit within me and so I actually have

been using this is in my in my healings

and it’s been quite effective oh wow so

it’s sort of I mean it’s it’s like holy

water but it’s the kind of the ear Jews

your juice or your goo well I think as I

said I think it is the the the spirit

manifest in liquid form okay well yeah

and I do see you’ve you had bottles of I

didn’t think that it was that but I are

those bottles of eerie I juice I do I

bottle it just because the bucket does

fill up and oh wait so you when you’re

using this and you’re healing you’re not

just like taking some of it and putting

it on their foreheads you’re asking them

to drink it Wow

now drinking is that’s for special

that’s reserved for special cases right

that’s more of a communion often times

I’ll pour some out in my hand and you

know make the sign of the Cross on their

forehead or sprinkle it on them it

really depends on what the ailment is

and a doctor like you have your own

special quotes treatments for different

diseases so I also you know depends on

what what it is that the Lord is healing

this person out well I also noticed that

you know like this bottle for example is

labeled $5.00 are you are you trying to

sell this well now I have these bottles

for my own personal use but sometimes I

if a patient finds it particularly

effective they want to have some for

their own home use I’m sorry you’re a

friend of them as patients Wow I heard I

mean your faith healer Lord is the great

physician these are his patients and

yeah if sometimes they would like to

have some for their own home use if I

was just giving them away I would not

have any left over to heal others with

and and so the price is merely a way to

to to moderate the amount that is taken

to cover the huge overhead cost of

living in a van and kind of just taking

food out of you know green rooms and

whatnot yeah it does go to gasoline

which is something that is harder to

come by yeah yeah well so can we I mean

dr. London I don’t would you mind if we

kind of tested this out a little bit we

talked about before my shoulder you know

I’ve got a thirty pound bar

Bell grafted into my skin that’s causing

sort of an infectious news yes yeah I I

I see that it’s grotesque dr. London

would that be okay to try to I you you

can try it if you’d like I don’t think

that it will be helpful or effective and

you know it pus isn’t for like use for

healing for other people generally I

would agree with that probably pus isn’t

but this again is a liquid form of the

spirit absolutely so let’s take a little

bit of that now with this particular

wound I’m just gonna try ABing oh I dab

as well I can’t say I’m hip to to all

the dance moves but yeah let’s uh I’ll

just it looks like I could use a little

bit of a a pore on there as well there

you go yeah go ahead a little thick you

got a spread if you want you could take

a little swig as well this is okay this

looks quite infected so a little bit

taken internally oh why is it so heavy

like as I’m physically heavy it made my

head drop down yeah well I mean it’s a

it’s a supernatural substance I so I I

don’t really see much – it looks alright

that’s good well and Cameron do you feel

any different

I definitely feel more violent

and I feel more sad is that ring any

bells

is that something well is that no I

don’t think that that would be the

spirit there I think that that that

might be and yet perhaps and demons

inside you wrestling with that with this

spirit you want to dump some more on

there that well now if I give you any

more I will have to charge you

Oh dr. London can I get a fiver no look

I I’m sorry and I’m sorry to use up this

the bottle mark sample but um we really

I don’t think this is really worth the

money for for what Cameron needs at the

moment and what would you say the camera

needs doctor he probably needs

antibiotics yeah these look deep enough

that ants probably needs wait I got

something I got something here

antibiotics or anti Bible audits Oh

antibiotics more like Antichrist okay

that’s what I use sometimes well well I

appreciate you know those those counter

points I feel like maybe we can just go

ahead and probably end here it seems

like we’ve heard enough of you know this

approach which you know it’s always

great to hear a spiritual holistic type

of approach in this case you know you’re

like juice well it’s it’s not just your

juice I mean you know that’s that’s kind

of what I had laying around but there

there’s there’s plenty of other stuff my

I don’t think it believe me I don’t

think I need any more of the juice

because it sort of just comes back up on

its own and then I can just drink it

again well and you know some patients

have reported that after a while they

start getting their own ear news the

Spirit has infected them and so you can

look forward to that affected yeah I

mean in a good way

all right well yeah we can

I feel like we don’t need to hear too

much more on this but thank you Pastor

Jerry for for being on the jock talk

podcast you for giving me a I CRO phone

and a voice in and for supporting my

message as you do yes we absolutely do

we put our fools the full support of the

jock talk podcast around you and your

tour and your van ah thank you I you

know if I could get that in writing I’d

really appreciate it

yeah and how much is a sponsorship

because we’ll go ahead and just sponsor

the tour right now I mean honestly if

you just load me up with some of those

Cheetos okay I’m gonna load you up with

the Cheetos I’m also just gonna go ahead

and dr. London I already got permission

from you before the podcasts about this

I’m just gonna go ahead and give you a

debit card connected to dr. Wells

account oh man I would appreciate the

Lord’s yeah there’s $1,000 a day limit

on it but besides that you should be

good to go just go ahead and use that

here you go

thank you so much I appreciate this

doctor and in exchange can I get a

little more of that juice yeah well I

think that’s worth at least a bottle or

two in fact I’ll leave this bucket with

you I have all the band yes yes yes oh

well please keep that bucket away from

me at least I’ve gotta cancel another

card okay well um

pastor Jerry go to crazy with him go I

don’t

pastor Jerry is there any way that our

listeners could follow you are you on

social media you know honestly just

again keep an eye out at your local

street markets and I’ve been thinking of

starting a Facebook but I haven’t

figured that out yet Lord hasn’t

provided a computer yet okay I got you

well in that case thank you Pastor Jerry

from being on the show well thank you

thank you thank you

do sir Cameron as always thank you to

DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

no offense doctor but your enemy of the

Lord and desert be smitten

no offense doctor but don’t admit the

warden deserve a stream my name is dr.

London Smith calm this has been the jock

doc podcast see ya

[Music]

you tell him to back off I mean come on

take a hint but he just walks closer to

you and you can tell that he is not

going to leave you alone so you change

tactics and smile giggling a little bit

and making a kissy face deihi and he

holds out that hand so you finally give

him your license and registration and

the police officer finally gives you a

moment of peace well he looks up your

details

and speaking of details be sure to leave

a five-star review of the Jacque dog

podcast detailing all of the creeps who

keep flashing their big lights and

asking you for your government-issued

documents hmm well he’s looking at my

license and information I’m gonna go to

the iTunes app and I’m gonna leave a

review on the Jock Doc Podcast and

since you’re already there go ahead and

text a link of your favorite episode to

the biggest creep in your life hmm I

guess since I’m here I might as well

text this to all of my friends and

family they’re all creeps or just so our

hey website at jock Dog podcast calm if

that’s easier for you and will mean a

warranty in the app so it’s pretty easy

to just hit the share button and send

that but yeah I guess hypothetically if

I was not in the app but I wanted to

link the website which you know has all

our information and then links to the

different apps that people use how could

I could see myself sending that and we

of course love to hear back from our

listeners so be sure to give us a shout

out on social media @JockDocPodcast

Thanks for listening!

[Music]

33: Cholesterol Embolization Syndrome/Dr. Randy Venison

Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice if you need

medical advice or medical care please

contact your doctor

Welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London Smith who’s ready

to get turned up on some medical facts

introducing your host Dr. London Smith

[Applause]

Hello and welcome to the Jock Doc

Podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host Dr. LondonSmith.com
I’d like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback regarding the

overuse of complicated medical

terminology that I’ve been using such as

recumbency and baby it’s cold outside

so I will try to temper my wording a

little more in the future here to help

with that is our producer Cameron hello

friends so Cameron is so dedicated to

keeping the jock doc podcast relatable

that when he heard about the motion of

the ocean he began to make trips to the

ocean in order to capture portions of

the ocean and jars which had begun to

fill up every wet room in this house so

I guess are you trying to stop the ocean

from moving Cameron is that the idea

there well yeah I mean I get motion

sickness okay so I I kind of I kind of

figured that maybe taking a hold of

these things and kind of capturing them

and sort of facing my fears in that way

would sort of uh you know not all of us

have a good doctors that we can lean on

so we have to come up with our own sort

of medical remedies so for you the

motion sickness you think is

psychological as opposed to you know

vestibule ER cochlear oh no no no no no

sorry sorry I need to tame the concept

of

motion so it stops affecting me in such

a way I need to show it who’s boss so it

leaves me alone right okay so so the

concept is what you’re taming it’s not

so much okay I guess motion sickness

motion itself is what’s being tamed okay

okay well that’s okay

also with us is did you do in the hose

baby it’s cold outside baby it’s cold

outside

here to help with that is the motion of

the ocean baby it’s cold outside

[Music]

[Music]

and later Cameron tells me that we can

expect a doctor is that right Cameron

that is correct dr. London Wow and so

you really you brought a doctor on board

I had an actual for real 100% Angus

certified doctor who’s a angus certified

uh-huh all right well before I move on I

would like to dress a bit of listener

feedback so I had this note I found it

whenever I walked out of the hospital I

looked in my lab coat and on the inside

this was written in sharpie and I think

from what I understand listener was

trying to reach me and kind of leave

some feedback quote from father said

this day would come

we need to sell our worldly possessions

and go to the holy place end quote so

first of all thank you to that listener

for reaching out to us here at the

Jacque doc podcast we always love to

hear back from our listeners to answer

your question I’m not exactly sure to

what day your father was referring I

think that was a Monday so in any case I

also do not see why today being Monday

would be a reason to sell all of your

worldly possessions and go to the holy

place well that’s because your your

hearing our listeners but you’re not

listening to them dr. London is this how

you are with your patients well they’re

just words on a piece of paper to you

but you’re not listening to them you’re

not really hearing what they have to say

okay well Cameron do you have an opinion

on what you think they you know this

holy place they’re trying to go to and

sell their worldly possessions oh I mean

I think it’s crazy and stupid but I’m

not the one who received a note if I

received that note don’t you think I’d

be acting a little differently yes well

okay how how would you act differently

if you received a note if I was the one

receiving the note I would take it a

little more seriously

okay I’m not sure how I how I would take

it more seriously I guess I doing what

it’s suggesting oh so I don’t think that

that person who left that note might

know something that you don’t I’m not

suggesting anything I’m just saying okay

oh well I guess for now we’ll go ahead

and shelf that and maybe I’ll come back

to this idea of selling all my worldly

possessions and finding you we couldn’t

do it if you tried you couldn’t do it if

you tried

all right Senor train sets in your house

okay well those are those are my it’s

kind of how I relax and process I

couldn’t get rid of those if you even

tried if your life depended on it if a

guy would say guy who looks like me

stormed into your house and put a musket

up to your face and said you choose it’s

either you were the trains yeah yeah

even your favored one too yeah the red

caboose you couldn’t even do it okay

well are you threatening to do that you

said no no no no you’re specific to say

someone who looks like you yeah it

sounds a lot like me as well and also

has a month because you have a musket

which in any case thank you to this

listener for the question and we look

forward to hearing from you again now

for a tale from the clinic we had a

patient with a history of mouth and

throat cancer who still had a port

port-a-cath for chemotherapy and this

had been left in four years after they

beat cancer

so this patients left hand started

swelling up out of nowhere and it turned

out to be an infection so he got IV

antibiotics in the hospital for it then

he started having sharp localized pain

in his back and then his cardiologist

noted a worsening heart murmur

[Music]

hold on sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt

this Cameron okay I think we’re good go

ahead I’m sorry was that was that a baby

crying yes sorry I can’t get this thing

to like shut the hell up man

well it’s when when did you acquire a

baby I was I mean it’s my baby don’t say

it like that don’t acquire a baby it’s

my son it is a person okay when did you

when did you have this child Oh God

summer of I wanna say ninety nine ninety

nine so it’s been roughly yes summer I’m

trying to think smooth by Santana came

out that was 99 yeah so 99

you’re saying this okay all right and

how did you get it shouldn’t be a baby

anymore if it’s 20 years old yeah I mean

but you should see this thing it’s a

baby yeah no I agree that this sad my

son he just turned 20 this last summer

we’ve named him Kambo I’m sort of like

Rambo but also Cameron okay also sort of

like tae-bo those those exercise tapes

that back then it was kind of it was

kind of more relevant back then huh okay

and so and yours you’re shushing him by

sorry is it a him the baby yeah oh yeah

Cambo yeah yeah so you’re shushing him

by hitting him is that what I’m hearing

no no no I’m not touching him at all I’m

just kind of banging on things around

him okay all right I guess anyway back

to this

patient yeah yeah so this patient

started having sharp localized pain in

his back remember he had come in with

that port-a-cath left hand start

swelling so then his cardiologist

noticed a worsening heart murmur and

told the patient to go see a dentist now

this patient had been seeing this

dentist every three months but he the

patients still obeyed and they got an

x-ray though he had had no associated

pain I’m sorry Cameron yeah I don’t I

don’t mean to be like rude or anything

but that baby is kind of loud oh is it

going off again yeah I’m sorry I don’t

even notice anymore I just kind of like

filter it out Hey and this is your

twenty year old baby coz all right I

think we’re good

that’d be it’s sort of like a it’s like

a it’s like a Benjamin Button situation

but instead of going you know from old

to young it just kind of stays the same

age forever in this it’s not quite a

it’s not quite a reverse Benjamin Button

it’s more like the the last 20 minutes

of Benjamin Button for you know a

hundred years huh we should know these

this stuff you’re the doctor yeah this

is don’t live with it okay well I guess

I’ll just finished so so this patient

had no associated pain they you don’t

think I had dreams of playing basketball

with my boy throwing a baseball around

with someone who wasn’t stuck as a baby

dr. London yeah I I guess I I’m hardly

just surprised that this is the first

I’m hearing about it well that’s a whole

different thing typically I’ve kept a

blanket on him and it’s it was kind of

like one of those like heavy weighted

blankets but he’s chewed through the

damn thing so now you can hear him all

the time

okay so it’s just I guess you just need

go blanket shopping yeah and then once I

get a heavy enough blanket throw that on

top of them can’t hear a thing okay yeah

just go ahead so so this patient had no

associated pain but found that he did

have an infection that I’d even away

much of his maxilla which is the upper

jaw so it turned out that the bacteria

that had caused the hand infection and

heart infection and the back pain was

coming from the mouth the infection had

spread and bits of it had likely flown

off and blocked some arteries which had

caused the back pain and that’s why

dental help can be so important to your

overall health and camryn that blood

baby

don’t call Kambo that baby stop that

doctor IJ it’s just Kambo could probably

stand to shush it a little bit I don’t

quite covered it I think he’s good give

it pacifier or something yeah I gave him

a shoe okay and now for today’s medical

topic cholesterol embolization syndrome

now you may have heard about clogged

arteries from cholesterol buildup but in

cholesterol embolization syndrome

so-called showers of crystals

originating from a buildup of

cholesterol can break off during a

surgery or radiographic intervention

clinic oh yeah that kind of stuff

happens anytime I take a shower a

cholesterol embolization so just all

sorts of stuff falling off that’s what

you’re saying right well I’m saying

I guess similar to that except that this

occurs inside of your arteries your

clogged arteries does that make sense no

I mean it definitely I think it comes

from my fart erease for sure I would

imagine that’s where the origin is but

yeah it just seems like anytime I step

in the shower everything is just falling

off there’s just stuff everywhere lots

of debris

dust I start coughing and then that gets

Cambo going I’m sorry you you’re dusty

whenever you get into the shower yeah

there’s just a lot of there’s a lot of

debris in the air I don’t know what’s

dust I don’t know what’s chalk it’s it’s

impossible to tell but I will say a lot

of at least the the stench part of it

definitely I think stems from my fart

arees for sure okay

so so if a patient has this cholesterol

embolization syndrome clinically it

presents with small discrete areas of

tissue ischemia with the appearance of

blue or black toes and also renal

insufficiency and possibly abdominal

pain or bleeding treatment is supportive

and you do not anticoagulate since that

can actually also be a trigger for such

an episode but rather you would focus on

controlling the blood pressure

amputation

I’m sorry what so is it’s fine if my

toes are alternating black and blue

right no they shouldn’t your toes should

not turn like unless you’re right but

it’s not like one is primarily black one

is primarily blue they alternate back

and forth throughout the day

well are you putting your toes into

black or blue like paint or clay or no I

think it it feels more like a mood ring

type of thing because it does seem tied

to my you know emotions so when I’m kind

of like furious they’ll turn hot red

whereas I’m a little down on myself you

know baby can’t shut up keeps crying

will turn blue okay

I and then when I like slam it up

against anything at all turns what okay

well that that does sound like it could

potentially be some some blocked

arteries down there that’s really

something to be concerned have you

talked to your doctor about that I am

right now okay well sorry to finish up

for cholesterol embolization syndrome

terms of treatment amputation or

surgical resection that’s only needed in

extreme cases normally blood pressure is

the thing you’re working on controlling

but yeah Cameron we should you need to

go to a doctor about about your feed

okay you owe me to come over no I mean

after we record no I’d say like go to

another like go to it oh go to a real

doctor is what you’re saying I mean go

to a clam actually does make sense to me

I’m glad you’re able to fess up about it

a little all right well we can move on

from there okay wait let me I think all

right I think I took care to care of it

can you still hear it yeah okay let me

try let me see okay can you still hear

it okay okay well I think we’re good

yeah let’s go ahead and move on all

right Cameron you said that we have a

doctor here as a guest today we

absolutely do dr. London and I I will

say I believe that our guest today is

the most medical person that we’ve ever

had on this show

including the host take it away

okay well that that sounds kind of

insulting um but we are happy to have

finally another you know a qualified

medical physician here doctor venison is

that right

yes thank you dr. London it’s a pleasure

to join such an it’s an esteemed list of

medical professionals on your podcast

and Thank You Cameron good to meet you

absolutely thank you for joining us all

right dr. Randy venison is all right so

um what what kind of doctor are you

well coincidentally enough I focused on

pre verbal giganto pediatrics when I was

doing my residency so I believe that

this will lead into helping Cameron and

Cambo with their medical challenges

today oh wow

okay so you’re you’re familiar with the

clinical syndrome that Cameron’s 20 year

old baby child is suffering from very

it’s so rare that once a case has been

diagnosed that it makes national if not

international headlines just because of

how rare it is and also really how

challenging it is for the parents it’s

not easy to manage a pre verbal 20 year

old male it’s it’s a challenge camera

and here the here the frustration in

your voice and I think you’re doing a

great job though

yeah it just won’t shut the hell up I

wouldn’t give it I wouldn’t care at all

of it would just shut the hell up we’re

all about building bridges yeah that’s

that’s learning to communicate okay I’ll

tell you what I want to throw this thing

off a bridge I wouldn’t ever I would

never do that he’s probably a little

heavy yeah I’d probably fall off that

bridge a lot faster not that I would

ever do that I want to stress that well

now it is the I do want to say but

because I know people are gonna make

connections here yes is this show on the

Casey Anthony podcast network absolutely

does that mean that everyone who comes

on this show that has an annoying baby

does that mean that something’s going to

happen to that annoying baby who knows

but I’m just gonna say that that

connection is nothing you can’t you

can’t you can’t take that connection to

court if something were to happen to a

certain baby 20 year old baby child

ma’am purely coincidental purely

coincidental yes well okay well so

doctor venison how would you I guess in

the case of we’ve already heard sort of

a description of what this clinical

syndrome is since this is your specialty

how would you approach dealing with this

problem I don’t want to say problem I

guess because it isn’t he

Cambo is a living being but how do you

approach appropriate appropriate

treatment appropriate care it’s a it’s a

multi-faceted approach dr. London and

it’s quite complex in the terminology

but what I like to do and I did listen

to some of the listeners about not going

too deep into the jargon so it’s

accessible is that my first

recommendation would be for Cameron to

try to teach Kambo infant sign language

it’s something I did with my child

growing up and no no they may not be

able to speak I would guess part of the

challenge from bonding with your

manchild would be just a simple lack of

understanding and if he can express that

he wants to play basketball or go to

sleep or he’s hungry and he has means to

do it even though he may not be able to

fully articulate those needs a simple

sign language demonstration from him

will help you bridge that gap

interesting so what do I do

so my kid can bow does not know sign

language but he does flip me

a lot like a lot even right now when he

was crying and I was banging on things

around him he was flipping me off the

whole time ah so he has a fully

developed neo frontal cortex that he can

associate anger with that symbol yeah I

guess though directing it towards you so

uh this this changes things dramatically

in terms of the diagnosis so now when

was the last time he flipped you off

give me some context to that yeah it was

on the podcast like seven minutes ago ah

okay and let’s just start with simple

needs for infants when’s the last time

that he’s eaten perhaps he’s hungry

Lincoln right he did a way to blanket he

did eat through a way to blanket yeah

how long with that yeah I mean that

definitely happened a few days ago I

don’t know we don’t talk about it that

much I feel like it’s kind of rude to

insist on knowing what people are eating

you know everyone is sort of a little

self-conscious about how they look and

stuff like sure made you know I wouldn’t

ask how much someone makes and in the

same way I’m not gonna ask you know what

do you have for lunch you are you eating

healthily you know that’s not my

business

let’s be respective of Kambiz privacy in

this situation I would suggest after we

finished recording I would set out three

bowls of well let me let me ask this

question is he how is his motor skill

articulation with utensils or is he does

he end up out of a dish with his face

Allah may be like farm animal well so he

he definitely eats off the floor but he

does that thing where he takes sort of a

mouthful of food and then takes it into

the other room and then drops over the

floor and that eats the piece one after

another in terms of whether or not he

uses I think you asked about his

motorcycle I paid a pretty penny for

that thing and he has not touched it

once I’m just saying

although you can see him right now he is

just sitting there staring at the

motorcycle so does look there’s like

maybe there’s some appreciation

for it it seems like there’s a vague

interest but get on the damn thing

ah so maybe stay with me on this one so

maybe if we tie nutrition and having his

most basic needs met that would improve

the relationship and then if we also

somehow tied a reward system to the

motor cycle then you can share this

wonderful experience of watching your

son on the motorcycle and he’s happy

because oh I’ll use a non medical term

his tummy’s full hmm and dr. London

could you translate that for our medical

community yeah well yeah gastric

fullness yeah okay yeah so that that

does translate pretty easily to the

medical community dr. Linda what’s your

take on all of this up front you haven’t

spoken that much on it right well it’s

kind of a it’s a new diagnosis for me I

don’t run across this as much um lateral

Benjamin Button disease yeah okay I also

wasn’t familiar with that particular

name for it the other one was the pre

verbal something syndrome in any case I

just like to see the approach so it’s a

lot of working on the communication

skills which sounds like the big theme

of it and working on some of these motor

skills all the sort of the things that

you expect anyone to work on as a baby

you know so once they get past some of

those basic human development stages you

know getting from the point of crawling

to walking to say riding a tricycle all

of those kinds of things or our goals

that you could probably have I would

assume dr. venison couldn’t agree more

dr. London which you’ve summarized and

and this really is a testament to your

medical acumen which you’ve just

described is basically the first three

months of specializing in this field and

also sends you a 200 page treatise on

this I don’t want to confuse Cameron or

or the listeners with some of the more

mundane medical aspects of this but

you’re on the right track and since you

talked to Cameron quite frequently

within these two hundred pages as

Cameron mentioned of the Angus certified

the certification with this it’ll make

perfect sense to you with what you

should be advising him on that is

another question well I guess two points

there Cameron isn’t the most attentive

to to me in terms of my explanations but

a follow-up question I had was about

that Angus certification what what does

that actually mean I haven’t heard of

that in a medical field as far as I can

recall sure well most people are

familiar with that from say your

neighbourhood Chili’s or Applebee’s when

they talk about their specials so it’s

most commonly associated with the the

cut of beef on their plate so if they’re

eating good in the neighborhood so to

speak so I should note that chilies and

Applebee’s are not sponsors of this

podcast this is just to relate these in

layman’s terms but there is also the

Angus child Institute in upper northeast

New Hampshire that focuses on some of

these very very rare but very important

childhood diseases and conditions and so

I I will have to admit at medical

conferences when I’m presenting and

putting my credentials on slide one of

the PowerPoint and I talked about being

Angus certified I’ve heard every beef

joke there is but we take the Angus

certification for Pediatrics very very

seriously a lot more seriously than dr.

London takes his medical field he’s

never even thrown out any of this

amazing advice you’ve been giving me

about Cambo he’s never even tried well

part of that is because in fact I would

get go ahead and say entirely because I

didn’t know about Cam Bo’s existence

until today yeah because you never want

to hear about me yeah you ever thought

about getting involved in your patients

I’ve known this doctor for five minutes

and he already knows my relationship

issues with my son dr. London I’ve known

you for 67 years you’ve never once asked

about him I it’s one of those things

where usually people will mention their

children I don’t know and I guess I

think about me it’s still surprising to

me and well I guess I don’t want to get

into your relationship stuff now but I

after the podcast I guess I am curious

about how you came to have this child oh

uh my my girlfriend she she it

definitely exists and she she lives in

Canada so that’s why you haven’t met him

but yes she totally I mean like oh she’s

great – she’s awesome yeah it makes a

million dollars a year yes wow that’s

impressive yeah she’s awesome but you

can’t talk to her her voice she lost her

voice recently so we can’t talk to her

don’t have a photo of her in my wallet

because my I left my wallet in my uber

the phone she NSA right privacy right so

she took her pictures down off social

media and told me to delete all the pic

all the you know hot steamy pictures we

have or I have of her she i’m definitely

real candid in Manitoba okay not not

very good cell service up there but

Cameron you had mentioned something

about your I’m using air quotes here

girlfriend about her not being able to

speak and if one parent of a pre verbal

giganto pediatric child suffering from

this doesn’t speak it makes the job so

much harder for the other parent because

the child only has one voice to pattern

after as it’s learning to speak so yeah

I spot my friend and I’m not I’m not I’m

not talking to this kid at all except

for you know stop it stop that you’re

being so annoying you don’t appreciate

your motorcycle like there’s really only

maybe three or four select four

says I’ve automated most of it I kind of

have a sound board that I use for a lot

of dating so you don’t like well when

the child was first born and growing up

you know let’s say 19 and 1/2 years ago

did you try reading to Cambo did you try

you know talking were you more engaged

back then well you know it’s just like

after the internet came around it was so

much harder to get books you know what I

mean remember like what happened – what

happened to Barnes and Noble guys you

know what I mean and so you know like we

did I was able to read to him I would

have loved to have tried I would have

loved to have tried ok see you didn’t

try oh oh man I would have loved to have

given that a shot but just that it was

the top you know the time y2k right yes

a lot of technical issues back then I

recall that yeah NYPD blue I was still

on and so I would you know I was

watching that okay so so I guess time

conflicts kept coming up for you so you

were not able to I get I guess nurture

the Cambo well I mean nature versus

nurture you choose one personally I

chose nature and so I’m kind of letting

things work themselves that like steak

otherwise you’re at odds with each other

its nature versus nurture okay you can

only choose one

okay well and for our listeners who

aren’t aware of that concept the nature

versus nurture issue is I guess the

question of what makes up a person you

know their personality their their

traits their skill levels to what extent

is that nature which is the genetic side

what they inherit from their families

from their parents and then to what

extent is it nurture the way they’re

raised by those you know those parents

or whoever they’re raised by know nature

versus nurture is an epic eternal battle

between everything natural versus

everything nurtured and at Birth you

were given the choice to raise your

child either

on Team nature or team nurture which was

the the sword that they will be carrying

for the rest of their lives so is this

like the Twilight series where it’s Team

Edward versus team I’m forgetting the

other vampire well Jacob who was a

werewolf am thank you we have actually

established on this show previously that

we are team Charlie which is Bella’s dad

those dad single dad he was a cop just

wanted to hang out and have a few beers

how can you not support that guy you

know what I mean I always root for the

underdog – that’s that’s the right team

and so I would say in the nature versus

nurture battle Bella’s dad would be I

guess maybe like a sunset dr. London so

I I guess I’m not sure what oh you mean

the Twilight versus Breaking Dawn you

think that he would be sunset dusk

I think the sunset is the perfect hybrid

between things that are natural and

things that are also nurtured because

through all of the efforts that we’ve

made to make this earth hotter due to

global warming global global warning

we’re actually really nurturing the Sun

and kind of bringing us closer than ever

ah I I guess I’m not sure that I I see

that tie-in exactly it sounds more like

probably Bella’s father since he raised

her and everything that’s that’s a

combination nature and nurture is what

that comes down to but in any case we

can come back – um I guess this question

of where where do we go from here in

your raising of Cambo and this I would

love to be able to figure this out I

think we can work at this as a team so

and figure out what to do with this hell

child doctor venison what is your take

on sort of now you’re aware of a few

more you know you’re worried about I

guess the the motor skills development

of

Cambo sort of where cambogia ah well

let’s practice right now let’s try a

different course of therapy so okay

let’s get a bowl okay yeah let’s find

some of Kambiz favorite kibble okay

and let’s set it in front and then hey

eat your eater eat your baby pellets

come on don’t make me call your mother

who is real lives in Manitoba exists but

you can’t talk to her voice okay got

that okay now this is where this is a

critical piece for you Cameron so okay

deep breath in deep breath down exhale

and then yes now give Kambo instead of

the middle finger

show him the peace sign and we’re

starting to associate now food with the

peace sign this is the start of sign

language it’s not the official sign for

eat but we’re gonna start very slow and

very simple okay do you see peace dude

Campbell let’s talk baby 1969 let’s get

stoned baby no war in Vietnam

nothing well Cambo he’s getting angrier

it was his mouthful that she that gave

him earlier we should probably have a

shoe ectomy okay let me be delicate

though slowly and smooth okay I think

all right he stopped should I just put

his face in the Qibla now and just gonna

let nature take its course he will

figure it out I mean you can’t you can’t

lead a horse to water and you can’t lead

a pre verbal giganto child to eat it’s

like when a baby horse is learning how

to walk you know you can’t just do it

for them they’ll they pick it up

naturally it’s part of her acting

correct correct and a huge part of

nature to go back to that discussion

Cameron is that the haircut is a vital

piece of nature it’s how someone

perceives themselves when’s the last

time that cam bow has had a nice tight

fade haircut maybe it’s a self-esteem

issue that we’re dealing with as well so

cam bow so far has mostly kept to

himself in terms of the hair situation

by just sort of removing the hair piece

by piece himself

oh very oval he have you are you

familiar with Charles Schultz as peanuts

yes yes so there is a character that’s

part of Charles Schulz as peanuts and

his name is Charles and his name is

Charles brownfield and that character

the way has a bulbous sort of disgusting

sort of bowling-ball type-ahead this

Charlie Brown okay sure

yes if you want it to be a little

informal about it but sure so mister you

know Charles Brown fields hair is sort

of similar to canvas

ah so we would say he’s follicularly

challenged

and I do want to say that Cambo Cambo

has spoken two words before I so what we

talked about you know pre pre verbal or

whatever we were saying before and those

two words are good grief oh so he has an

association with Charlie Brown I have no

eyes no idea no idea if he’s watched

peanuts and no idea he’s familiar with

Snoopy I know that a lot of times when I

give him his pebbles he says good grief

hmm okay

what did your Christmas tree look like

to assume that you celebrate the holiday

but what was it oh god it was like yeah

sucked so I stay here I may be happening

here is that Kambo might be either

living in his mind and an alternate

reality that is the peanuts Christmas

special or it might be even more extreme

he might even think he’s Charlie Brown

and his best friend carries this blanket

around all the time and I it’s so stupid

that blanket is disgusting mmm it drags

on the ground well okay I guess I’d like

I don’t want to interrupt this train of

thought but I feel as if we’re straying

from the actual way to I guess to fix

the current issues because really it’s

this is gonna be sort of a daily thing

isn’t it

in terms of fixing the the approach to

Cambo like it’s a daily if not hourly

yes yeah so it’s gonna be sign language

it’s gonna be I guess focusing on

phrases similar to good grief from the

peanuts

I guess learning to try to kick a ball

correct yes we’re gonna need a football

and I would construct a psychiatrist

office out of milk crates so that when

Cambo is talking to you that you are the

psychiatrist and you are in that’s

constructive I know you don’t think

anything you’re suggesting at all it’s

new it’s getting matter all right let me

try peace dude doing the peace signs

okay hey what’s up man looking for peace

not war homie what’s up dude well what’s

up man okay well I think we’re at this

point we are going in circles a little

bit so it’s maybe a good time to bring

it to close sounds is better than

sergeant pepper’s dude oh okay I think

that bit is hmm maybe he’s a Beatles fan

well I think stressing the importance

that Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys was

better than sergeant pepper’s that

seemed to agree with them hmm maybe he

knows about more than we think

in any case though I still think it’s

looking me off again though so never

mind

probably a good time it’s gonna be a

long road a long road Cameron but I’m

here to help well yeah and speaking of

which doctor venison is there any way

that listeners could follow you

afterwards do you have there anything

like that yes there absolutely is we

love to hear from patients potential

patients and especially in this very

well-connected age and I’m calling up

our website now so they can read the

address and and interact with not only

your listeners but camo and so what I

would like you to do is we’ll send you

to the venison and poblano practice I’m

a partner with dr. Chad poblano

okay and if you go to venison and

poblano medicine weebly.com and I’ll

email you this so people don’t have to

pull off the side of the road and safely

transcribe this while they’re listening

to the podcast our listeners can do both

yet if you’re doing this right now just

pull up your phone if you’re driving put

in the address save it to your bookmarks

maybe glance through scroll through the

website a little bit well I don’t want

anyone to get injured while driving

texting and okay if you are going under

seventy okay if you’re going over

seventy then yes slow down under seventy

then you can use your phone safely but

yeah I’m sorry dr. London sure and look

for oncoming traffic in probably during

daylight hours but yes venison is

spelled as you would expect from the

dried deer meat and poblano as the

pepper coincidentally and purely random

it sounds like items on an appetizer

menu at Twin Peaks but that’s just

purely coincidental okay again going

back to like the angus certification

there’s there’s a lot of just random

coincidences that you know we just we

have to deal with just that’s just part

of carrying so much for our patients

yeah well I would say that you know to

be fair my name sounds kind of made-up

like someone just looked at a map and

then thought of one of the more common

last names you know dr. London Smith

doesn’t sound that real either so I

understand that struggle I guess is what

I’m saying

well in the most important thing dr.

London you’ll agree with me on this one

is as a medical professional

believability counts for a lot so if we

sound believable then our patients will

believe us well I mean just like no one

has ever had felt the need to question

the existence of my girlfriend lives in

Canada because there’s no reason to

question it because it sounds so

believable because it is real right okay

Manitoba is in Canada yep no so there’s

no reason to question it or to try to

google her

or look her up in any way or anything

like that okay I’m sold

so doctor venison any other details you

need to share or this has been an

absolute pleasure gentlemen

okay Cameron just one day at a time my

friend one in one day at a time one day

at a time

all right and dr. London I’ll see you at

a conference soon I hope

yeah yeah I’m excited to learn more

about pre verbal the infant gigantism

something that effect giganto –

pediatrician okay right all right well

thank you to doctor venison for being on

the show thank you to Cameron our

producer thank you to do to Dylan the

hose

[Music]

you can’t lead a horse to water and you

can’t lead a pre verbal giganto child to

eat

[Music]

my name is dr. Lennon smith.com this has

been the jock doc podcast see ya

[Music]

you keep plodding through the snow one

step at a time you tell yourself yet you

can’t help but sneak in an extra skip

once in a while owing to the chipper

nature of the situation yes sir after

eight straight nights of searching

through this avalanche prone icy

wasteland you have finally found a

bonafide walnut and the whole one and

then proceeded to dig a hole and bury it

so that the trees underground hands can

find it again yes siree Bob plowing

through all this snow barefoot share has

been worth it and you know what else is

worth it a five-star review of the jock

Dawg podcast so go ahead and leave one

of those right from your phone and be

sure to leave it a review in which you

detail what kind of nut you would like

to find while walking through the snow

without shelter for many days in a row

and be sure to text a friend or a hated

one our handy website jock talk podcast

calm so that they too can have the

chance to write a five-star review if

you were even remotely displeased with

anything on the podcast be sure to give

us a very angry shout out on social

media at jock doc podcast well thanks

for listening

[Music]

[Applause]

32: Acute Arterial Occlusion/Carol Nancy

Hey kids you are about to listen to a comedy

podcast that means that none of this is

medical device advice if you need

medical advice or medical care please

contact your doctor.

Welcome to the Jock Doc Podcast

featuring Dr. London Smith. It’s the

greatest podcast on God’s Flat Earth

introducing your host Dr. London Smith

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host Dr. London

Smith (.com)

I would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners we’ve received some

feedback saying that I should cut back

on the use of overly complicated medical

terms such as monoclonal antibody and

bur kind of cold huh so I will try to

stick to more common terminology in the

future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron

heyo Cameron is so dedicated to making

sure that we stay relevant to our

listeners that when he heard that Martin

Luther King Jr. days here he spent weeks

trying to gather enough coins for what

he referred to as his Majesty’s tax so

for our listeners knowledge Martin

Luther King jr. was not actually a

reigning monarch but rather he was an

American Christian minister and activist

he became the most visible spokesperson

and leader of the civil rights movement

from 1955 until his assassination in

1968 well indeed an Andy nailed those

rules up on that door yes and that’s

what was so like ballsy of him because

that wasn’t even his door can you

imagine just like going up to some guy’s

door and you just like nail these like

rules or whatever to it okay well I

think I think you might become

yeah and that that does sound pretty

tough and you’re referring to the yeah

whenever they nailed it to the the door

of the church that happened centuries

ago though yeah we’re so we’re friends

what we honor at every Martin Luther

King Day jr. this is a different the

names are similar though it’s his son no

so it well we okay well we can move on

from there anyway

also with us is did you do them the

house

[Music]

hello I’m Dr. London Smith I feel like

that the earth is flat

dr. London I don’t think we should talk

about that on this episode I don’t want

to get into your weird conspiracy

beliefs okay so and maybe I should

clarify so I think DJ doing the house he

might have been playing like possibly a

remix sort of something I said oh yeah

that’s what he that’s what he does

that’s his job

right and I so just to clarify I don’t I

believe the earth is and this might be a

little bit controversial to some people

but I believe it’s spherical like it’s

it’s circular behind

Oh Dr. London no I didn’t why oh I didn’t

that’s the shape you think it is so and

later I doesn’t have a butt no I don’t

like okay I don’t think that I mean

defining a particular but is difficult

given the science that we have but I’m

saying like if you could find one I

guess is more my point

you’re saying you’re confident that the

earth does have a butt and we just

haven’t found it yet

yeah which I don’t think is that crazy

of it no no there’s a lot of things that

we don’t know yet I think the Australian

fires might have something to do with it

too with with the earth having but it

would be where the Earth’s butt is right

ish a fire would be no Australia

oh well and I I guess I can’t say one

way or another because you gotta think

you’re a doctor mm-hmm have you ever had

someone come in with you know let’s be

frank fire but I I don’t think so like

you mean like a burn no I mean like fire

coming out of it okay so you know Taco

Bell i okay I don’t like how this is

going so they have like the five layer

burrito I’ve heard of it now if you were

to down five of those that by math five

times five it would be a twenty five

layers that you’ve consumed mm-hmm what

do you think’s happening on the other

end of that I are you saying that you

might have some gastrointestinal trouble

I’m saying you douse it in fire sauce

you end up on the other side with

something we like to call fire but okay

so you’re just talking about you think

but that’s what’s happening in Australia

I do think that’s interesting and now

that is my belief system so thank you

so and later Cameron tells me that we

can expect a special guest so look

forward to that

that is right before we move on I would

like to address a bit of listener

feedback quote wood and bacteria may be

a sterile coating on the table woodwork

we got all the food poisoning from a

pizza hut ice machine once and then we

went camping and Jesus saved me

it was awful bless everyone this blessed

day

end quote first of all we hear the

Jacque talk podcast would like to thank

you so much for your question we always

appreciate hearing back from our

listeners to answer your question I’m

afraid that I’m not familiar with the

process of sterilizing a wooden table

but yes you can get a form of food

poisoning from ice or rather from the

contaminated water contained within the

ice although that would be an uncommon

occurrence in the United States would

you be able to sterilize a what you

might call it table a wooden table no

what’s the thing with something like

when would attacks you you know what I

mean when you like put hand like a

splinter maybe it’s like you put your

hand on maybe like a wood table or a

tree okay and then it attacks you it

like shoots you with like a little

needle right into your hand you go whoa

okay so usually if that happens it’s not

actually the tree attacking you it’s

more assuming that I follow what you

mean it’s more that the force of your

hand pushing on it pushes a splinter

from the tree or the piece of wood into

your hand so your own force you generate

the force it’s not actually the tree

attacking you mmm

even when I’ve like really pissed the

tree off okay well well how how have you

managed to offend a tree well I mean

what’s the best way to piss off a tree

it’s to piss on a tree is it I assumed

that they would I would imagine so

because

anytime I’ve ever done that to you you

got pissed yeah but no that is that is

true it’s just I have um this is a real

bathroom centric episode I don’t know

what it’s going on in your head

no I is this what we’re doing for 2020 I

know we’re a few weeks into the new year

but you had said you wanted to kind of

explore some new directions for the show

was this no I were thinking yeah you

were thinking a little far dear no I I

just thought like maybe maybe sometimes

we stray a little bit in terms of who

our guests are yeah yeah terms of you

know sort of the the topics that we

approach so I was thinking like we just

we just kind of dig down deep and just

go after the science just pure science

no I mean most of our guests have been

strays that is correct

okay I’m sorry I should clarify that

that’s that’s my fault what I mean is

that they’re strange and they’re sort of

like I’m not sure how you find them

because they don’t seem to be scientists

what I just told you how I found them

for the most part they’re stray people

like a stray cat like you just find them

around yeah or maybe you know they like

live in a neighborhood and everyone in

the neighborhood kind of collectively

feeds them so they just kind of go to a

different doorstep every day just kind

of eating okay you so you are very very

specifically describing like a stray cat

or dog except this is a person there are

people most of our guests okay oh well I

didn’t I didn’t realize that that’s how

we how we went about collecting them I

guess you’ve never asked yeah I guess

well so to this listener thank you for

your question and we look forward to

hearing from you again soon here on the

Jacque talk podcast now for its hail

from the clinic we had a patient with a

history of prostate cancer present with

I’m muscle pain and paralysis for which

we had given him steroids and taking a

biopsy of his temporal artery it’s

because the eyestrain because he was

trying to look at it right

at the at the prostate yeah no okay so

and he like couldn’t get all the way

around

okay so food for our listeners what

Karen it was like a series of mirrors

and he was having to squint because it

was like reflecting so much no so

usually someone else will diagnose the

prostate cancer and someone it won’t be

him having to see it physically cuz that

well yeah I assume that’s why he went to

the doctor because they couldn’t he

strained his eye while trying to get a

peek yeah like a good idea I just

in this instance he it those two didn’t

seem to be related oh okay okay yeah but

um he had also had two separate episodes

of pericarditis which resolves

spontaneously oh no no no I have that

DVR’d I haven’t watched it yet

no spoilers of pericarditis yeah I’ve

got I’ve got both those episodes like

ready to go but I have not what started

it yet

okay so he had go ahead go ahead two

episodes of pericarditis and then his

lab showed a decline in kidney function

as well as an elevation inflammatory

markers on top of all that a

Rheumatologist had told him that he

likely had lupus so so a given doctor

can usually know how to do the workup

for each of the or each of these organs

and systems but there’s only so much

time in the day and so many resources

available so this is an example of why

we have specialties so that no one in

one no one problem goes overlooked and

it is also why having a primary care

doctor is so important because they can

take these varied symptoms and advise

the patient regarding the larger

clinical picture what is your specialty

doctor London I don’t think we’ve ever

really discussed that on the show yeah

so I’m I’m general doctor sort of no

specialty whatsoever no it all makes

sense and all the specialties yeah oh

yeah I’m sure when someone’s that

special you just call them general you

have general talents yeah yeah that’s

exactly how people phrase that yeah one

detecting a tone here but yeah so hmm so

they’ll say you know hey we need the

surgery done the surgeons out jack of

all trades master of none yeah oh well

no master of none the mess I like I

don’t want to flatter might but ya know

I’m the master of all of the trades as

well but they’ll call me in for the

surgery but like it’s more what you know

how my schedule looks now for today’s

medical topic acute arterial occlusion

acute arterial occlusion is technically

also the term for a heart attack or the

stroke since it simply means a sudden

onset of blockage of an artery but in

this case we are specifically referring

to the occlusion of an artery in the leg

usually blocking the common femoral

artery

so the arteries usually become blocked

because a clot forms inside of the heart

and moves away from that location to the

site where it gets stopped in this case

the common femoral artery of the leg

when a clot forms a blood clot and it

stays in one place it’s called a

thrombus and when it breaks off and

moves to another part of the body it’s

called an embolus so when an embolus

blocks the common femoral artery to

cosmically whoa what is this word you

keep saying that well which which are

the words the thrombus no the embolus no

those are all normal okay

the common femoral artery yeah yeah yeah

okay no though the last one artery yeah

is that like the nipple holder yes no

I’m not well I’m not sure what you mean

by nipple holder like this bad boy

around the nipple oh you mean the areola

yeah okay so what this is no sorry so

the areola is that is concerning nipple

yeah yeah whereas the arteries are the

blood vessels going away from the heart

okay typically does that make sense yes

okay so the common femoral artery is one

of the larger arteries in your leg does

that make sense

I haven’t I mean I don’t think so well

what do you I’ve only got the two I mean

I don’t I’m not a cat

I don’t have like that kind of stuff

going on I’m down blower I’m sorry so

you have is it an issue that you don’t

think that you have this many arteries

in your legs did I mean they’re like

than like the nipple holders I’ve only

got the two okay I’m sorry I should once

again so these are already I’m not a if

I was a girl yeah so yeah so these are

the arteries I’m not dude you know what

I mean is the are not the areolas you

see the difference

totally yeah okay well I’ll just so when

an embolus blocks they common femoral

artery not the areola but the artery um

to caused an acute arterial occlusion

patients will typically present with the

6ps

pain and that’s acute and severe and

onset so the patient can actually tell

you exactly when and where it happened

and the pain might have even caused them

to sit down or fall to the ground so

that’s the first P yes pain then there’s

keenness well it’s cold enough okay well

there is there’s pallor which is pale

skin yep okay

there’s paralysis it can be I mean all

different like colors and stuff some are

darker than others and then there’s

paresthesias so that’s like a tingling

and numbing sensation and pulselessness

okay okay so diagnosis is with the

arteriogram and but and this is for the

arteries not the areolas the blood

vessels okay so use the arteriogram to

define the site of occlusion and in

echocardiogram which is like an

ultrasound for the heart and an EKG to

look for a heart problem as a source for

for the emboli and you’re looking at the

heart because it’s right next to what

the aerial right and you don’t want to

get a block like blockage or anything

because in the milk

backs up and you sweat it out get so

much build-up it smell like milk all day

long no one wants to talk to you so from

this point the main goal of treatment is

to assess the viability of tissues you

know in the leg to salvage the limb I

got nothing yeah okay good good

I completely understand no questions no

comments okay

your nipples get too backed up you get

milk flowing out your leg you cut off

that leg just shoots milk out well I I

feel like I described something a little

bit different but we can we can move on

from there yeah since you’ve got well I

don’t think you I don’t think he quite

understood but we can we can move on

[Music]

all right Cameron do we have a sponsor

today sort of it’s not really a sponsor

it’s actually I’m actually excited about

this we the state government got in

contact with us about doing some PSAs

for our audience which I thought would

be really cool and kind of beneficial to

the community yeah it sounds great for

Public Health yeah that sort of thing

and so they kind of gave us a list of

them so I’m gonna go through them and

then if we need to cut them up and maybe

like move them around different episodes

we can just go ahead and do that

okay record them all here now and then

disperse them exactly we can just go

through them later okay

um so the first one which is a big issue

which is texting and driving right yeah

yeah look I know that most of the people

negative effectively by texting and

driving are the worst among us right

well I mean they’re kind of the people

who like deserve what’s coming to them a

little bit well I’m not who needs to

text that much you know it’s the worst

person you know not necessarily there’s

part of you that’s probably like well

you know whatever happens if they drive

into a ditch and something happens like

who cares well no I know that you say

stuff like that all the time doc yes but

I’m here to say don’t text and drive

even if you get a pic in your phone of a

dog on a phone and the person you’re

talking to says captionthis wait until

you get to a stoplight to caption it

okay that part I do agree we be driving

around and say oh the dog is probably

you know on the phone with barkbox and

is like I need to talk to your customer

service right yeah I know I agree we

should like for drivers to do you can’t

do it not while you drive yeah not until

after you are done or you know pull over

if you feel that that’s that much of an

emergency to caption that then yeah if

you have to do it right now if it’s a

contest in a group chat and you’re

trying to get in there first stop I

don’t you don’t have to pull over but

you can just stop you know send it I

would say you should pull over in that

instance because stopping suddenly could

result in a car accident so the sec

thing that they have as is coughing

coughing which is the silent killer I

take an issue with that description

because I feel like it’s an extremely

loud killer it’s not silent at all

but I digress I get hold on on that one

you say like what about coughing it

kills it spreads germs that kill so

they’re saying don’t cough I think it’s

saying cover your coughs better and it

kind of has a diagram here I can’t show

it on the show but what you want to do

is sort of just bend forward as much as

you can okay sort of like a sitting

position you want to go okay right into

your pants if you can do it okay you

just so you just bending over wherever

you are whatever you’re doing stop maybe

you might want to stretch for like a

minute or two before hands get limber

yeah and then you just want to like bend

over as far as you possibly can

yes it right into your pants area just

give it a cough this this is just

different from what I’ve what I’ve

learned is the best way to if you’ve

been doing it the unhealthy way you’ve

probably been coughing into your arm in

my elbow yeah well what happens if you

like if you meet a person you start

rubbing your arm on them those are germs

that are spread that’s that’s true and I

guess for me it’s normally that I’m not

quite flexible enough generally to cough

into my pants yeah and I I guess this is

just I guess also promoting stretching

yeah and also just not being as

unhealthy as you have been clearly okay

so the next one and this one is actually

pretty important to me it’s male breast

feeding okay

just cuz there’s nothing coming out of

there doesn’t mean you can’t give the

baby something right well no milk coming

out of a pacifier right baby still likes

it so just combinable in there I got a

hungry baby

but the mom’s not around shoving the mom

you’re saying like you just come across

a baby yeah it’s loud crabby and there’s

no mom around

leave me alone okay so it can talk as

well

whatever and you’re saying the first

instinct should be to try to feed it

from your nipple even if you are male

this the stranger just keep it a shot

give it a shot that’s it I’m not saying

it’s gonna solve you know world hunger

just saying like maybe it helps I don’t

know so I would say probably you could

also just try to find their parents for

them yeah but while you’re doing that

you can calm them down a little bit just

offer them a little something that’s it

I and that’s what the government PSA

says it’s right here okay okay all right

the next one let’s see so this has

actually been sort of an issue over the

last 15 years or so in the United States

there’s actually been a huge declining

bird population okay and that that sort

of been an issue people have wondered

why and sort of what they’ve they’ve

come around to is it’s mostly stray cats

people not spaying and neutering their

cats so we have more stray cats than

we’ve ever had okay and it’s kind of its

kind of worsening bird populations okay

I assume that pollution might have had

something to do with it as well but

you’re saying I’m sure that’s part of it

but it is increasing amount of stray

cats in the US and this is a genuine

stat it’s it’s declined the bird

population okay and so sort of what the

government is wanting us to do is kind

of just take whatever you have if you

have a gun that’s great if you have

maybe like a pan that you can make as

hot as possible or even just boiling

water and take care of the problem

sometimes you need to take matters into

your own hands is what this message is

about you can’t rely on the government

to do every time sorry sometimes you got

to take the tools that you got and you

just got a hack away you see the

government PSA says you can’t rely on

the government to do everything yeah so

take a baseball bat find a cat do what

comes natural i I’m not saying I’m not

endorsing anything I’m not saying

anything

are you just do whatever you feel will

help the increasing stray cat population

that’s it

who who contacted you about this well I

can’t say it was like who who do you

know that like works for the government

how did this happen

cuz that that doesn’t telling you not to

trust the government to take care of

this problem to take the law into your

own hands

sounds like something the government

wouldn’t tell you to do I mean it was

George Bush Senior are you oh yeah you

have that book club

yeah well I mean we had a book club

yeah okay you know and one of his like

kind of final wishes was to like you

know he had this cat in his backyard

that kind of pissed him off and he

wanted to kind of enact his revenge

through his influence so he said this is

part of like his dying wish was to have

you take care of this and so the next

one on we can move on next one on the

list

eating stray cats what you want to do is

you want to put him in a pan and you

want to make it as hot as possible okay

a butter and you want to put salt in

there and you want to put sour cream and

then a little bit of chives into the mix

you can find this recipe online and then

you just want to mix it up as much as

you can and then you just go for it easy

right it’s one of the easiest recipes

and do you have to like there are no

concerns that I have there because I

like doing are you describing animal

cruelty to any extent here no no the cat

the cat is dead okay we have to skin it

I guess whether or not the previous PSA

for killing stray cats is connected to

this second PSA about eating stray cats

that is not for me to determine okay

these are I’m saying for legal reasons I

cannot say that those two are connected

in any way but here we are okay okay so

you have this dream chives little salt

little butter pepper that’s all you need

stir it up

with the cat yeah the remains of the cat

whatever you want to eat I take it over

easy okay yeah I I guess I don’t know

how I take all right I’ll whip you up

something after this and we’ll we’ll

figure that out okay okay the next PS

say whatever happened to pillow fights

this one’s just from the pro pillow

fight consortium I guess they had

lobbied with George Bush Senior just

like what they were so fun as a kid like

what happened to him you know what I

mean well this is just a PSA letting

people in reminding people yeah just

like that you could have just like I

have a pillow fight every once in a

while the next one stop feeding Jeremy

this is one of the most important ones

that’s it bolded and in red on mine huh

Jeremy’s been fed way too much stop

feeding him it is Jeremy do we know who

Jeremy is does not specify okay yeah cuz

come to think of it I don’t know how

long ago you got this but I’ve been

getting push notifications telling me

the same thing to stop feeding him or

gonna feed him because if it’s telling

you to feed him that might be Jeremy

okay it was telling me to feed him okay

don’t do not listen to those push

notifications

I would might want to throw away your

phone no because I don’t know what that

is or why but we have to stop feeding

he’s getting fed too much apparently all

right we’ve just got a couple more do

you mind if I just go through we’re just

trying it out of the way and we’ll

disperse them to the episodes this is

sort of a similar one to the texting and

driving and it’s about drinking and

driving which can be very dangerous

don’t drink and drive and watch agent

Cody Banks at the same time

[Music]

because those are three different

activities do not drink and drive and

watch the movie agent Cody Banks at the

same time you can do two of those things

if you want to drive and watch agent

Cody Banks that’s fine I want to drink

and watch AG Cody Banks fine if you want

to drink and drive it’s okay that’s fine

I disagree all three it’s dangerous dr.

you disagree you think it isn’t

dangerous no I’m sorry I should clarify

I do well how about this you have your

own private roads where all of you guys

can be drinking and driving and watching

agent Cody Banks on your phone but I

would rather stay on safe roads where

you’re only doing two of those three

things at any given time I would say try

to keep unless the two things are

watching that movie and drinking those

two can be done at the same time but I

would think any combination of drinking

and driving is actually a bad idea

that’s what I’m saying drinking driving

and watching agent Cody Banks don’t do

all three at the same time just two out

of the three just pick I and the final

one this just says pickle juice it I

don’t I don’t know it doesn’t say pro or

against it just says pickle juice I

don’t know who it’s like bi or four yeah

do you want to have an opinion on it

yeah maybe I don’t want to take a huge

stance on it but I maybe avoid it okay

do you have like a medical reason for

that not particular I mean it’s kinda

has some salt and it seems like no let’s

go neutral on this one okay well just

people can know about it all right dr.

Litton that’s it

okay yeah I guess I appreciate this it

seems from now on I would say like let’s

get it from a government official who’s

alive maybe next time that seems so

insensitive for like if we’re gonna get

a sponsor kind of thing paid

advertisement they’re probably like

let’s get it from the living from now on

all right so for those listeners out

there if you have a relative or someone

older who requests something of you on

their deathbed do not do it because dr.

London like mo

doctors only cares about the living

that’s not exactly anyway

that’s good good so we finished it all

right Cameron do we have a guest today

we do dr. London all right hello there

hi I’m Carol Nancy I’m the female mayor

of the MA CAT JDP coalition oh wow so we

are mothers and citizens against the

jock doc podcast oh yeah I get mailers

from you guys

well yeah Cameron you’re actually my

neighbor how’s your mom Cameron senior

oh she’s doing okay she’s bono I mean

she’s doing terrible yeah awful I

figured she was I knew from Facebook

that she had been undergoing some

situations in life I’ve been sending her

thoughts and prayers but she stopped

responding to my thoughts and her

thought box was full so I just stopped

reaching out yeah well so the I mean the

situation she’s been dealing with right

now as she lost her contacts so she just

kind of just been crawling around the

house for I mean weeks now trying to

find them and you know I mean it doesn’t

I don’t know it doesn’t look like it’s

gonna get better

and it’s it’s not it’s not always easy

but it feels good to talk about thank

you for for asking do you check your

thought box cuz I’ll send you some

thoughts and prayers if you check it but

there’s no point if you’re just gonna

let it get it how do i how do I access

that the thought box it’s kind of like

how when you check to pee it’s the same

thing you check your thought box same

feeling so I check the little piece of

paper that I keep in my underwear to see

if I need to go yeah but the brain

version of that do you keep a piece of

paper in your hat yeah that sounds about

right

okay I okay I don’t mean to interrupt

yeah yeah yeah

but I just wanted to try and introduce

myself I’m dr. London Smith comm you

preferred so it’s Carol Nancy

for Miss Nancy mrs. Nancy please refer

to me as Carol Carol okay all right I’m

sorry if I offended there Carol so

welcome to the jock talk podcast so

you’re part of an organization the

mothers and citizens against the jock

dog podcast and ice and I can’t help but

notice the name of our podcast being

within the name of your organization and

I’m wondering I just want to clarify the

connection there is this some other jock

doc podcast or very same okay okay I

just want to make sure of that

so what end up I know what you’re

worrying about she does pay royalties

for using our name she sends a check to

the Queen of England every single month

she always pays the royalties I don’t

think that the Queen did you register

our name in the Queen’s name no I’m

saying she pays royalty okay okay

every month I did okay well back to

Carol so Carol what what do you have

against this podcast like enough to

start an organization I’m the mayor of

the organization okay and it’s and so I

guess that’s another question here

you’re the mayor usually there’s a

founder of an organization for my

understanding I was elected mayor of the

maquette Judith but the maquette chittim

yes okay oh I’m not sure exactly what

that means the MA CA TJ DP mothers and

citizens against the doctor okay I’m an

elected official I’m sorry I just said

that dr. London I’m sorry I guess the

the acronym still tripping me up a

little bit okay so you are the mayor of

that organization what made you decide

to start or at least become a part of

this organization and then lead it my

kids have been listening to this podcast

and well I was thank you over here

I was hearing a lot of things that I

don’t think young minds need to hear so

what did you take issue with I’ve taken

issue with every part of it I don’t want

them to be brainwashed by doctors 100%

on board mm-hmm and I don’t agree with

the word thrombus I’m sorry extremely

attacked earlier he said the word

spherical a man should not say that in

the presence of anyone else if he wants

to say that word he needs to be at home

alone in his bathroom staring into the

mirror that makes sense to me I mean

even then I don’t know like looking in

the mirror it’s kind of like you’re with

someone else

true maybe you want to put a towel like

over your head okay I guess okay so you

have a problem with the use of well

sorry to interrupt but you know those

like really really expensive bird that

you eat bones and all and you have to

bike it’s like tradition that you put a

towel over your face because it’s like

covering the shame I don’t remember what

it’s called but you know I’m talking

about I I guess that sounds vaguely

familiar but I feel like I’m not that’s

not a tradition I I’m familiar that

familiar with it’s like a really really

wealthy thing it was on like so and like

billions and okay I was like that so

it’s kind of like that but you go into

the bathroom and you put a towel over

your head covering your shame and you

say as quietly as possible that’s how I

would prefer that and if you say it

three times then who knows who knows

what’s gonna appear oh yeah so just it’s

it’s a medical term is the reason I was

using it it’s the it’s like the most

education with that as well with with I

don’t believe that children should be

taught about medical things especially

at young ages do you take issue with any

of my part of the podcast no my kids

love you great I love my kids are

friends with Philip and Thomas oh great

they’re your neighbors they come over

sometimes and I love it because when

they

back there so tired oh wait those are

your kids oh yeah because we hang out

all the time I love it when they go over

when they come back they don’t even poop

yeah they were I mean they were in my

band I I mean they I did yeah they told

me I think you’re rid of them out of the

they weren’t good they sucked but I mean

the great kids no rhythm like at all no

I don’t declare boring to clarify for

our listeners um Philip was a previous

guest of ours who was chocolatier yep

six years old I think something like

that and okay and then the them not

having to poop afterwards I’m guessing

is because Cameron may have given him

them his beer which here his bear yeah

I’m referring to the the constipation

paralysis part and I’m referring to the

fact that he gives them a bear yeah

can we can actually talk to dr. London

privately just for a second sure okay so

like the parents they’re not like crazy

cool about giving them buddy beer so I

put it in a teddy bear and then the kids

just drink from the mouth the teddy bear

so the parents just think the kids are

just kind of like you know making out

with the bear right we just don’t like

experimenting and like launches about

themselves and stuff like that normal to

do that it’s like getting hammered and

just like partying already cool I to me

it’s a it’s not as good for it like you

shouldn’t have young children exposed to

alcohol but all she’s saying we

shouldn’t have young kids exposed to you

yeah yeah you’re supposed to believe

let’s get back to work yeah so so Carol

you specifically have an issue with an

issue with medicine artists medical

equipment doctors nurses clerical staff

at hospitals and doctors I take issue

with all of it this whole place about to

get got don’t freakin freak with me what

about medical sponges I’m on the fence

because they are kind of just the same

as normal sponges mm-hmm but there are

medical sponges well

and I guess the follow-up question is

why do you have a problem with medical

things I don’t think that it should be

taught to a young child okay and why do

you think that it’ll confuse them it’ll

put thoughts in their heads about their

bodies their blood their heart their

brain that they just don’t need at a

young age when they’re developing their

views on the world is there I mean you

know you can be honest with us was there

was there anything that maybe happened

in your past or with your kids that kind

of led you to this decision

it’s mostly just the community that I’m

in we’re a homeschool family and we

really raise our flag proudly that we

don’t accept anything from the

mainstream what if that was that flag

look like they are raising proudly it’s

green and yellow and it has an HS on it

Wow for homeschooled mm-hmm so it and I

noticed it’s raised on the back of your

wagon when you pulled it always always

and really really high like it’s a wagon

but I mean it’s like three stories high

as well you know how when a car

dealership opens up they do a balloon

that’s really really you can see from

really far away that’s kind of the idea

I’m raising awareness like here we go

Mehcad Jude oppa is here with the HS

group and we’re taking the whole system

down makes sense and so I guess I see

some some conflicts I know you’re not

supposed to have anything mechanic like

you seem to be against mechanical things

maybe and medicine in general anything

I’m like mechanical things it sounds

like Meredydd calls

yeah but mechanical medical but any

instruments you’re saying any medical

instruments what kind of instruments is

she talking about is she talking about a

saxophone no she’s talking about medical

instruments dr. London come on okay well

I guess I make my assumptions based on

the wagon was being pulled by the

the children and that confused me a

little bit well yeah what else are they

good for well so in my mind teaching

them about science and medicine might

make them good for a learn I’m teaching

them about pulling a wagon that’s really

all they’re gonna need to do you’ve

never heard of a trade school I I have I

just that’s for people who aren’t

elitist aren’t swimming in pools of gold

doubloons – exercise okay um make those

kids good for something that’s what it’s

always saying look at what happens right

now I’m for the listeners I’m pointing

to dr. London look at what happens when

you encourage them to get into the

medical field it’s this I know I’m doing

my finger in a big circular motion to

emphasize that I’m talking about dr.

London my worst nightmare okay you if

you encourage your kids to go into the

medical field you end up with a man who

is deeply deeply in debt

who has people angry at him constantly

okay this is who has people some of our

old sponsors who are supposed to love us

harassing him day in and day out this is

what you end up with this is because you

were handling the sponsorship part and

you have been using my personal funds to

pay the sponsors which doesn’t make

sense moving like I did makes no sense

to me right okay well back to so Carol

what brings you here on the podcast

today then if you don’t you know have an

interest in medicine it’s election year

I’m trying to get reelected as mayor and

so I’m just making the rounds this is

just one of the many podcasts that I’m

gonna be on this oh well you’re going on

other shows to try to get elected for

the mothers in citizens against the

choctaw podcast position yes who are you

who you running against I’m running

against Nancy Carol

[Applause]

alright alright calm down guys calm down

yeah didn’t we showed us it’s such a

public place yeah I well I didn’t

realize what was gonna happen but you

did have yeah I’ve been doing Facebook

live rants for weeks and we’re getting

we’re getting out there well and just

the num the sheer number of children

pulling your wagon well seven of them

are mine yeah well like the flip see

pull it around pull the wagon pulled the

wagon around and that’s the one who just

sucked at drums just couldn’t okay I

couldn’t keep up so you’re running for

re-election of Makati dipa what I guess

what is your platform then and how do

you differ from Nancy Carol miss Carol

I’m bringing why man great till they

gotta be great energy to this election

wow we are women we are mothers we are

homeschool mothers and gosh darn it we

are proud I don’t give a care about what

Nancy Carol says about how I’m not as

good of a homemaker as she is duh I

don’t like my kids I don’t like to be

around them so yeah if I go into the

other room and I watch soap operas and I

drink a glass of wine while I have them

clean the kitchen and they don’t do a

very good job because they’re just

little kids well that’s my business okay

and that can be your business too if you

just vote for Carol Nancy for mayor of

the mothers and citizens against the

dark dark podcast coalition Wow

well I mean I gotta say you got my vote

thank you I knew that I would is there

is so what are your goals if you were to

be re-elected do you have do you have

plans for this next term I’m hoping that

I can take over the jock dock podcast

and steer it in the direction than it

needs to go in well what what direction

is that what is your ideal version of

the show because maybe we can make a

compromise here I’ve been wanting to

shake things up here for a while okay

well we need to learn how to make wagons

we need to learn how to make harnesses

we need to teach children how to pull

wagons very large wagons

we’ve got a lot of stuff we’ve got to

get across the country across across the

country for what yeah we’re taking this

thing nationwide you’re home schooled

with which part of this process are you

taking nationwide are you saying the

wagon the homeschool part or the mothers

and citizens against the job podcast

part or all of it all of it all of it

and one is me Wow and I’m ready to

reveal myself to the nation and all of

it includes even Nancy Carol no there’s

no place for her in this new world order

I I’d be interested to hear what her

positions are and what her platforms are

well why don’t you go down to the

Denny’s off of the loop and ask her well

could you just would you mind telling me

even if I know it’ll be a more biased

view but some of her alternative ideas

like let’s say does she want to bring

anything else to the podcast that she’s

trying to teach children how to build

boats okay so that’s completely

irrelevant one land exactly she’s gonna

have kids pulling boats on no I’m not I

once again I don’t know her position on

these things exactly and I understand

them getting it second hand here but are

you sure that she’s proposing children

pull boats on land and me as opposed to

maybe using water to transfer you’d have

to ask her okay I don’t listen to her

enough she’s a quack you’re a quack is

this what you’re curious about like the

questioning she’s talking about creating

a new world order with her wagon

coalition and you’re curious about the

other person whether or not their boat

is about for water or land yeah I from

the way she phrased it I thought me and

I think we we could use maybe a change

in this podcast a little bit thank you

if this is the kind of hosting abilities

we’re getting yeah all right so let’s

can we spitball this a little bit what

would you accept us changing the name of

the show to wagon hags I like it right

off it just immediately hits me it’s

just wow and maybe instead of we’re

making a compromise here so we’re still

gonna do the like patient stories

well it’s but instead of a patient that

you see as a doctor

maybe it’s something that you put on a

wagon that’s the story so the story

would be I hold like a stack of toilet

paper on a wagon yes I can I demonstrate

real quick what I feel like it’d be okay

so so today I was walking around and I

pulled yeah some sticks with a wagon and

that just goes to show that we need to

learn to pull sticks with wagons would

you give us an example of what like a

patient story would look like on a wagon

sure a patient came in today and they

sat quietly and they colored in their

coloring book and they left mommy alone

for five minutes

and mommy got to watch her toons there

those are the types of patients I’m

trying to promote on my new podcast

wagon hags so so you’re trying to watch

cartoons yeah Tom and Jerry is my

favorite and the children are opposed to

this they want to watch what science

shows is that the problem no they just

want to talk to me they just want to say

make me oatmeal and you just want to

watch Tom and Jerry

yeah I’m sick and tired of listening to

them was or go ahead doctor I was gonna

say isn’t Tom and Jerry mostly silent so

it’s not like the talking would there’s

music okay oh you want to jam out on

some of that Tom and Jerry music okay I

get that and your kids yappin and yappin

I mean I kind of get it I you have a

place on this show as what I’m trying to

say do you see what I’m working with we

can really mix things up here so I guess

one thing I’m thinking and we can

continue that maybe if you just made

your own podcast because it this sounds

very different from ours no it really

sounds like it would just seamlessly fit

right in as long as you were no longer

here yeah it’s the same show we just get

rid of the parts that are you know

negative towards our nation’s children

okay we replace it with parts that are a

little more positive and uplifting for

our nation’s children exactly such as

teaching them wagon etiquette teaching

them to leave you alone teaching you

them to just like screw off so that that

does bring me to another part usually

towards the beginning of the podcast

will mention some feedback that we’ve

gotten some sort of things to correct

and work on which probably is what a lot

of the children sound like whenever they

come in and say they’ll give you

feedback on what’s going on in their

lives and so how would you change our

current format to fit your desires for

what you would want the I guess wagon

pulling theme of the podcast to be very

well worded host

the show we definitely don’t need a new

host thank you so what he’s trying to

say is if one of those kids come up to

you with some feedback how do you reply

I just say you’re boring

perfect this is great this is way

shorter than our patient segments

currently or whatever or feedback

section okay

and how would you address the it’s been

so much time on the show talking about

like nipple holders and like all this

kind of like weird stories stuff I don’t

know what let’s get to the heart of it

wagons and I get I guess the the medical

topic would just be replaced with like

say how to replace a wagon wheel that

kind of thing maybe like colors of

wagons I do really like wagons and for

children yes I want them to learn mostly

about wagons because that’s what their

life is gonna be about yeah of course

but really for me we’re spending a lot

of time talking about wagons when I’ve

got other things to do yes wagons for

kids okay what else are we what else are

we talking about on the show we’re

needing to subtly implant in them the

New World Order right because okay I did

I want to add wanted to ask about this

you talked about kind of taking your

movement across the country and we can

see from the crowd sighs I mean this is

a lot of people we’re talking how about

how many people are in this organization

right now 4,500 okay yeah that that’s

that’s a good size mm-hmm so this little

congregation you have yeah what is what

is the ultimate plan you would briefly

mentioned before expanding to a new

world order is this I mean is this

starting your own government is this

wanting to take over our current form of

government yes we have our a totally

separate form of government that we

believe is the right way to do things

and so we are ready to put that into

place what what does this new government

entail

everyone’s selling their homes living in

wagons okay on board and we’re going to

just

go around the perimeter of our countries

all the time in our wagon just over and

over again yeah we’re gonna find the

lizard people we’re going to we’re gonna

kill them unfortunately this it feels

like you skipped this step so we’re

going in circles endlessly until we die

and also at a certain point we’re gonna

find lizard what is when when does that

part happen the lizard people live on

the border so geographically that’s why

we that’s why we’re doing the border

that’s right and once we’re done with

that who knows possibilities endless

what okay so these lizard people have

you I’m sure on all of your journey

you’ve seen them have you interacted

with them or it’s something you’re still

like waiting to see you’d be surprised

how many lizard people you encounter in

a day to day okay well why are you

you’re kind of covering your mouth a

little bit and you guys need a sidebar

for a second I don’t think I think the

Camerons on the same page I think that

he can understand I think because you

are you mean well you’re sort of them I

mean you’ve been talking about your

issue with dr. London talking about

issue with certain people in certain

professional fields mmm-hmm who are

pushing certain medical agendas so are

you is this are you suggesting I mean

are you suggesting that dr. London and

all doctors like him are lizard people

I’m more than suggesting

I hate dr. London hey um so I did step

out for a second because you guys were

really taking your time with figuring

out whatever you’re talking about um yes

so this new world or you and you stepped

out oh I just I wanted to bite of chips

so I took a bite does it taste like

flies no it tasted a lot like chips like

fly chips well no no it tasted more like

like regular I what our fly chips I

don’t know it sounds like something you

would like though doesn’t it I I guess I

don’t feel right here today how did you

arrive you didn’t have to like climb a

ladder and move a manhole cover or

anything no so I actually got here by

car just drive the car and then pulled

up there’s a sunroof though if that’s

what you’re referring to

hmm so you can get flies more flies into

your car I guess I’m not following cuz

cuz you love eating flies are you

talking about the food you’ve left in my

car that’s been gathering gathering what

exactly yes yep

dude you don’t did you get that yes you

get that yes okay we got it

I say you got me saying that flies had

gathered around the food that you left

in my car what what temperature does

your blood run it’s ninety eight point

six

I doubt you are putting yourself into a

corner mister that’s Fahrenheit that’s

freezing you’re a cold-blooded animal I

okay this might be a problem with you

not learning about science running at a

hundred and four twenty-four hours a day

are you really that’s what humans do you

have been sweating a lot

are you okay I think you’re gonna go on

with that sentence like doing tomorrow I

would also like to know that okay well

so for the first part human

for the second part because you had told

me we got to go to the park

we gotta advertise more and you told me

to bring the skeet shooter claypot thing

or clay disks tell me to bring a whole

bunch of those so I have those we didn’t

give me any further details so that’s

why pigeons yeah what they call them

pigeons which fly you know what else

flies flies okay right mm-hmm

okay what do we so what what is the next

step here we have all this information

I’m wants us everything is but what is

the next step is wagons okay so so

immediately after this when this

recording ends wagon wagons all day

every day until we have built our wagon

army okay wagons so it’s an army of of

wagons yes okay well and that sounds you

know I’m not sure that I see how that

would play out exactly because you’d go

to the you’re not meant to nope this is

designed for people like you to not get

because there are a few minor issues

like how I don’t see it

the border the perimeters I can’t get

enough flies to sustain your disgusting

cold-blooded body well like if you go to

the parameters of this of the kind

tree then you’re gonna run into problems

with wagons because even like regular

cars can have difficulty with the

terrain and so I imagine a wagon would

be that much more difficult

well it makes sense that you’re being

very negative about this idea and not

wanting to cultivate it further it makes

a lot more sense than you realize your

motivations are clear okay well I guess

that’s I mean was there anything else

you had to say I mean I will be

releasing a smear campaign ad mm-hmm and

I wanted to just let you know ahead of

time I’m gonna be exposing you do you

want dr. London to say anything in the

end cuz we can record it right now I

don’t think that I want to I have all

the recordings I need we could could you

just we’re gonna get it clean

DJ Dylan you got you you’re recording

okay so we’re just gonna get it clean

like I lay eggs

I have scales for skin just say that go

ahead I don’t I don’t think I want this

said we’re not gonna stop until you say

just go ahead I have human skin

nope just go ahead and say I’m not gonna

give you your keys back okay well that’s

that’s a banana

no it is my it is my banana yep I have

it say it I owe ya exam what what’s the

other

I’ve scales for skin I have I have

scales for skin is that is that it are

you good we got this there it is

well I to our listeners that wasn’t true

I have human skin I am human I I’m sorry

if this engineers form I’m sure you for

listening to wagon hags all right I said

thank you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

I pooped in my trousers I pooped in my

trousers and thank you to our producer

Cameron thank you to Carroll Nancy for

being on the show

I’ll be thinking me when my wagon Armada

comes down on your head like hot heat in

the summer

I am Dr. London smith.com

this has been the Jock Doc Podcast Wagon

Hags the clock ticks then it proceeds to

talk at this point you know what is

coming but you hold your breath anyway

hoping for some change but this horror

that you had expected indeed comes to

pass against every fiber of your being

contrary to all that you are rooting for

in this life the clock commits a horror

by ticking once more after that talk an

even greater horror though would be to

avoid telling your friends about the

Jock Doc Podcast

oh yeah it’s shivering my timbers so

come on just send them a link to your

favorite episode or send them our handy

website jock podcast calm or send them a

link to your least favorite episode and

scared and don’t forget to follow us on

social media at jock dog podcast also

don’t forget to leave a 5-star review in

which you write what you hate most about

clocks ticking and also occasionally

talking thanks for listening

[Music]

[Applause]

Episode 31: Peripheral Vascular Disease/Dead Waves Radio

Hey kids you are about to listen to

A comedy podcast that measn that none

Of this is medical advice. If you need medical
Advice or medical care please contact your doctor

welcome to the Jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London smith when you’re

here you’re family Papa John’s

introducing your host Papa Dr. London

Smith (.com) hello and welcome to the

Jock Doc Podcast where we discuss

fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring I’m

your host Dr. London Smith (.com) I’d like

to begin by apologizing to our listeners

we’ve received some feedback about my

overuse of complicated medical terms

such as pH balance and cup of hot cocoa

so I will try to speak with more common

terminology in the future here to help

with that is our producer Cameron hello

friends I want to say hi to our new

listeners anyone out there this is your

first episode listening to our show I

just want to say hi if you’ve heard us

before I’m I guess I’m kind of sick of

you and so maybe if we could kind of

rotate our listeners in and out I think

I’d be a little better for me and would

that work for you dr. London no no

actually we try to we try to retain

listeners the idea is actually same

people week after week after week I want

opposed to be the constant in this

relationship you know what I mean me and

you know our listeners oh well I’m

flattered that you include me because

normally it seems like you kind of try

to take over a little bit oh no dr.

London this is your show okay yeah well

but I would say that we actually wanted

to invite more listeners we want to

build that listener ships

we want old and new listen oh I see you

want to build it up you want to get our

listeners to get in to listeners

underneath them and then they get to

listeners underneath them

okay way funds the listeners above them

do you see what I’m saying I and they

get to listeners and then everyone’s

getting you know a percentage from each

one coming in underneath this is awesome

okay I feel like what you’re describing

is a pyramid scheme

and that’s not that’s not what this

podcast is really trying to be I mean

it’s if it were a scheme why would I

just be telling you wouldn’t I be you

know secretly hiding it doesn’t sound

like it came to me I guess that’s true

okay well so so let me introduce this is

our producer Cameron so Cameron works so

hard to keep the podcasts informed by

staying in tune with the latest trends

that when he heard that when there’s a

will there’s a way

he saw this as a potential shortcut to

his morning commute so he began writing

up his will so Cameron have you been

working on that will then I think you

have misunderstood me okay I said if

there is a Will Smith there is a way to

get his autograph

oh he’s still figuring that out okay I

don’t know that I know I know

we’ve got point a over here we’ve got

point C over here point B is a little

murky and you’re just thinking I could

probably just meet him and then ask him

for an autograph that doesn’t like the

best way if that doesn’t work I’ve got

this a gun right okay know what know if

you’re gonna use a gun to reach Mills I

don’t think any plan involving a gun to

reach Will Smith is a good plan okay

well whatever I’m still thinking it

through so okay all right also with us

is did you do the hose

oh I see what you’re saying do you want

to build it up and later Cameron tells

me that we can expect a special guest

so actually multiple special guests

special guests and I told them each to

bring guns

oh I don’t okay before we move on I

would like to address a bit of listener

feedback quote sorry buddy I don’t think

this was a clown you ordered for your

son

I am sending prayers for your son and

also this woman has no pants end quote

so first of all we here at the jock talk

podcast would like to thank you so much

for your question we always appreciate

hearing back from our listeners to

answer your question that does sound

like a deeply concerning issue um when

you when you hire a clown as a performer

for your child one tends to expect that

clown to wear pants regardless of their

gender hopefully you can contact the

company and correct the issue I’m not

I’m not I’m sorry what was that Cameron

I was just gonna say I’ve got a piece of

advice for him get a gun okay now I did

a gun baby

I think that that will solve it because

they’re the problems a pantsless clown I

think I’ve come around to a lot of ideas

lately what what kind of ideas if you

want something done use a gun yes I hate

anything across the board so I let’s say

a puzzle like is your thought puzzle yep

you shoot you’ve got to see if a 600

piece jigsaw puzzle if you shoot 595 of

those pieces do you think you’re gonna

be able to solve the rest of that puzzle

pretty easily

no because they all have to fit together

you’ve got five pieces you can’t make

that work but they all have to fit into

the larger puzzle solved using a gun I’m

just saying okay you won’t have issues

with clowns anymore that’s all I’m

saying I don’t like I don’t like how

that’s go but to that listener thank you

for reaching out to the Jacque dog

podcast and now for a tale from clinic

we had a patient in her late 70s present

for a follow up after having a stroke we

had just seen her a few days ago and she

had seemed perfectly healthy but then

she reportedly stopped taking her

aspirin for two days in order to get

Botox in her forehead and following this

she found that she had abnormal upper

thigh weakness in one leg for two days

and an MRI later confirmed that this was

indeed due to a small stroke and a

stroke is whenever a blood clot causes

an occlusion in the brain and in the

blood vessel in the brain so when I

explained that she needs to keep taking

that aspirin and to stop taking the

hormone medication because doing

otherwise would increase her risk of a

major stroke she was insistent that

looking good was too important that she

needed that Botox and she wished to

continue her hormones to prevent hot

flashes and such furthermore she thought

that I was crazy to suggest anything

else

um ironically it can seem crazy to a met

practitioner for a patient to continue

to increase their risk of stroke even

after they had just had one this is

another example of patient autonomy

which is when we allow mentally able

patients to make medical decisions for

themselves even if it is against medical

advice as long as they’re willing to be

made fun of by their physician later on

his podcast you keep on coming back to

this point you know you know what would

make if you’re if you’re a patient out

there and you’re worried that your

physician is not gonna take you

seriously or take your request seriously

that they’re just gonna kind of think

whatever you’re about to say is

ridiculous you know what would help

convince them that what you’re saying is

not ridiculous can you guess dr. London

I I’m not sure where you’re going with

this I’m gonna say a gun okay if you had

a gun do you think dr. London would be

spouting this nonsense on his podcast I

I think if a patient pulled a gun on me

there’s a chance that I would talk about

it later I don’t think you’d solve the

problem oh you mean if I was they’re

gonna get the best healthcare if they’ve

got a gun are you sure

if a person’s got a gun pointed at you

and says treat me I need to be treated

okay I guess are they gonna get

treatment I’m sorry they will get a

hundred percent of some kind yeah they

will be treated in some way absolutely

okay go ahead okay now for today’s topic

peripheral vascular disease peripheral

vascular disease also known as chronic

arterial insufficiency

it’s an occlusive atherosclerosis in

other words it’s the same sort of

clogged artery disease that causes heart

attacks but in this case those clogged

arteries are in the legs although it is

worth noting that in patients with

peripheral vascular disease

they usually have coexisting coronary

artery disease so they’ll have the heart

problems as well anyway clinically these

patients will what was

up Drex Pro Drake’s Pro Drex Pro on Drex

Pro on Drex go on who are you talking to

well so I’m I kind of made my own

version of like a like an Amazon echo

like a Google home thing it’s Drex Pro

yeah I picked up they are expr Oh

Drex Pro Drex Pro dress weirdo

Drex Pro – oh wait Drex Pro turn-on Drex

Pro X Pro say hello to my friends on the

podcast say hello to my friend strikes

bro okay it’s thinking it’s about sixty

percent done okay I went down to 50%

done okay hold on should I just show you

yeah just keep doing it while it’s

loading clinically the patients will

present with Claude excretion which is a

cramping leg pain that is reliably

reproduced by walking the same distance

and relieved by rest

another presentation is with the rest

page which is when the patient feels

pain especially in the top of the

mid-foot where the blood vessels are

small and this can awaken the patient

from sleep at night okay is Drex

on exam the patient will have diminished

or absent pulses decreased hair growth

thick toenails and decreased skin

temperature in the affected area

ischemic ulceration can also occur

usually on the face it’s almost done

because I’m almost done here

yeah yeah yeah it’s getting close okay

along with the other cardiovascular

diseases smoking and diabetes are very

significant risk factors smoking is by

far the most important risk factor this

means that the most important treatment

is to stop smoking and that’s for

peripheral vascular disease also known

as chronic arterial and sufficiency

alright it’s about to be okay cuz we

bout we just finished that whole it’s

about to be ready okay ready okay work

for you you demand too much of me he

must go please do not contact me did you

know I guess is it did you program the

language as well I under X I think it’s

gone what do you mean it’s gone it left

like it walked away it said I must go

please do not contact me I’ve got to

figure this out anyway

go ahead okay alright well know that

we’re done with the medical topic all

right so we can we can move on I guess

okay

so Cameron you said you had some guests

today I did

you have multiple guests today wow

that’s great hey guys hey oh hello my

friend gremlin talked a lot of peril

okay I’m sorry

my name is dr. London smith.com this is

Cameron

my producer so this is the jock doc

podcast we discuss fitness and health

what what are your names uh my name is

Lilith Lilith Jones and uh my name is

Jack Jack Jones I’m Graham Oh

Gregory’s Elizabeth Erne I can’t tell

you about whole day right now

Lewis God Lewis in pain recording this

medical session is that legal

well if with your permission maybe it

does seem like a gray area what um what

could you describe what’s going on dr.

London’s more of a dr. pepper type of

doctor oh we’re not worried about

licenses too much well I mean that’s not

I trust dr. pepper with my life okay

well so Lilith could you describe what’s

going on with you sure so I I was at my

radio station we do a a radio show of

our own and I was cleaning out the attic

and I was bit by what I’m pretty sure

was a vampire bat and I I I don’t want

to sound strange or or odd but it wasn’t

a normal vampire bat if you understand

it was like a vampire vampire bat oh

hold on one second doctor in London I

need to talk to you about something okay

she just described our show as a radio

show is this a radio show yes I mean it

was like an Internet thing or we’re this

is a radio show that’s so lame well we

were both with God I think I assume this

is also played on the radio

we gotta get back to the we gotta get

back to that okay yeah okay so Lilith

can I call you Lilith yeah you can

okay so vampire bats they I don’t know

whenever you say a different or abnormal

one I’m I don’t encounter a lot of bats

generally so I don’t know exactly what

you mean there but I I think you’re a

doctor you don’t do you don’t deal with

bats normally dr. London doesn’t hang

out in badass places where bats hang out

okay wow what a square he’s the type of

guy to like I don’t know go to a bat

museum rather than you know just like

chill with a bunch of bats I mean I’m

just saying like Ozzy Osbourne used to

bite the heads off of bats I’m sure that

he had a doctor who like his first

question would be what kind of a bat was

it well so my first question would have

been did it bite you and it sounds like

the answer is yes I’m not a doctor yeah

are you questioning the medical

practices of Ozzy Osbourne’s a doctor

dr. London I know you think you’re a

better doctor than the doctor who works

on Ozzy Osbourne

yeah the face of darkness and sherry oh

my gosh and the kids there was Jack

maybe Jack and blinky yeah okay I didn’t

mean to I didn’t mean to discredit or

cast shame upon any other medical

practitioners I was merely putting forth

what my first question would be and I’m

sorry if it came across the other way

okay so with with bats the first thing

we’re worried about is going to be

rabies have you heard of rabies before

rabies uh

no can you spell it for me okay so it’s

our a B I II S Oh

Oh Jack was Jewish for a little bit well

I I I mean I’m still kind of having a

hard time with a can you

in a sentence for me okay London we need

to stay away from some of the religious

stuff yeah okay this is supposed to be

an inclusive podcast and now you’re

telling people they’re getting sick from

their rabbis okay and I’m sorry I should

clarify what I say rabies I’m referring

to the rabies virus so in a sentence it

would be something like Lilith

contracted rabies from the bite she

received from a bat does that I don’t

care if someone is a rabbi I don’t care

if they’re a Christian pastor I don’t

care if there are none I don’t care who

they are

well say that if they bite you you’re

they’re gonna give you a disease my

pastor has bitten me so many times and I

have never once got an infection that I

didn’t cause it’s normal I’m sorry wait

that’s a loaded answer there yeah your

pastors bitten you yeah

was there like an in case like horsing

around okay and did you said you never

got an infection from that bite no not

from the Bible from the stuff I did

after the bite which worm stuff on it or

whatever hey hey guys yeah oh no it’s

okay it’s just um a I’m worried about

where this might be going that I’m gonna

have to hear with my ears and B I think

my wife has rabies with Graham I I think

I am turning into a lawyer

listen I brought the box of guns all

right let’s organize this a little bit

first dr. London I don’t hear any more

talk about rabies rabbis any of that

religious stuff done we’ve decided she

is turning into a vampire that is it

that is the objective truth of the

situation right it is a vampire bite so

we have to deal with this appropriately

take a gun everyone get a gun okay now

that I have that gun now that I have two

guns which is okay yeah okay London I

want your gun put it on your lap okay so

my guns I’m holding two and then I’ve

got one kind of like on my on my

shoulder in my neck yeah you’re like

holding a phone John wick fine fine I’ll

take this little like 22 revolver okay I

have a gun okay

I don’t like this all right this I do I

have never dealt with a vampire so I am

just spitballing here but since we’ve

got the guns

what does it mean well just listen what

if we shoot Lilith and drain some of the

three guns

Lilith where where did the bat bite you

it fit me right right on the chest like

the chest meat yeah the meat the meat is

it right yeah it bit her in the left

meaty zone if that makes a difference

it’s okay I gave permission yeah okay so

we’re gonna fight we’re gonna shoot

we’re gonna shoot a little bullet just a

little bullet why a little bullet into

the left chest okay and then we’re gonna

get some of that blood out okay okay oh

it’s there you don’t have a favorite

wall do you I don’t I don’t wanna shoot

into your favorite wall do you have one

that you hate them okay no we I do like

these walls to stay intact and also I

don’t look Cameron I don’t know if you

know this but if you shoot someone even

with a small bullet it could do them

harm are you a little bullet it’s the

smallest little thing it’s so cute do

you know I I don’t want to see it

through the the long end there okay dr.

London I need you to shoot first take

know my terms are open

I’m waiting you guys just so my

questions would have you received of

rabies vaccine before um I probably have

uh when I was younger in the last few

years

oh no no I don’t I don’t like needles I

don’t I don’t know real quick doctor

just a quick aside we we don’t have

medical insurance we can’t pay for this

okay what so Lilith is probably going to

need some immunoglobulin that’s what

she’ll need hey look I’m willing to let

you shoot her but I’m not willing to let

you get any of those emo goblins

anywhere near her okay

I’m taking a stand why would you even

suggest that doctor London that’s weird

I’m sorry so this is the treatment for

the because the rabies virus can travel

it travels up the nerves so in in in a

retrograde fashion so I can stop it

though if you know this is a pro goth

anti emo podcast we’ve established

that’s right Goths first and you know I

I have to say I while I respect that you

are a medical professional and you have

gone to school for this I have years of

studies backing me up I mean just you

know from the knowledge of vampirism and

and the symptoms thereof I I really do

think that it can’t be rabies no I I

mean I keep shaking and I mean just the

light just hurts my eyes so what kind of

what kind of vampire literature you

getting into um

and rice is probably one of my favorites

she’s both it’s Twilight yeah she reads

Twilight little is a big fan Twihard

I mean we’re talking New Moon are we

talking Eclipse I mean what are we

talking about team shame Edward like

what’s going on team dad all right

Charlie I think Charlie we’re trying to

warn Belle about all those boys who try

to

no one talks in a spell team Charlie I

am all about that you know those dads

yes a dad bod even though I got a little

piece of that dad bod okay oh but that

well that sounds good and fun

how long have these been symptoms been

going on has it been since the bad

encounter or did it happen before that

um since the bat encounter yes okay and

how long ago did that happen oh I would

say maybe a couple days ago okay so

maybe two days accompanies a couple like

two I think generally two is a couple

well we’re a throuple oh all right okay

so is that throuple days then yes

there’s a throuple days so three days

okay so so a throuple days ago you have

this bite have you tried anything since

you felt these symptoms coming on

anything help or make it worse I did rub

some lavender essential oils into the

bite that seems to alleviate the

problems at first but then it started to

itch real bad so I did stop but then I

broke out the myrrh and I’ve you know

that felt a lot better

spiritually and physically throw that

out there for a second thank you we

caught it hell yeah

sir what was that Oh Graham don’t touch

no okay London I got extra ones so

people could play with them hang on Jack

isn’t inside of this voodoo dog I know

you you can see this little dog in it

I’m gonna get him out real quick hang on

Cameron

Cameron I should ask how did you find

these people what I thought you were

bringing in medical professionals today

oh no they found me okay how did you

guys find Cameron then in it okay pretty

straightforward like Cameron posted an

ad saying seeking medical professionals

to speak no it was in it was in a yelp

review for like a local hat shop yeah

Jesus I have I mean as you know I have

an enormous skull size right right so I

was commenting about this hat shop that

you know can work with my kind of

bulbous head well I mean part of your

head size is because you wear so many of

the hats well yeah I’m a mime putting

the hat on top of another hat yeah

that’s sort of blending into my head to

make it look like it’s just an extension

of my head plus extension it’s just like

making my extension sorry so so you guys

saw this ad this yelp review for a hat

shop and contacted Cameron because of

that well he had a doctor in front of

his name and I just kind of assumed or

like medical professional and I thought

he knows what he’s talking about he had

a big ol head he’s got a big old brain

so we can fix it yeah I assumed the big

head is a selling point it really was I

was looking at at least five other

people that I could call about Lilith’s

rabies and I figured the bigger the head

the better the job so at the very least

it’s a conversation piece exactly

something to talk about at the water

cooler than that cooler the next it’s

it’s an ice breaker I get it you can zip

code for that forehead it’s beautiful

okay so that’s what brings you guys in

today is Cameron put up her a post on

Yelp you guys came in and thought that

we would build up so I would say

probably you should go to a medical

facility

do something shoot she is looking pale

she was gonna save her doctor no well I

I actually took an oath to do no harm so

because I can’t shoot her listen to me

I’m not a real demon come to me the

doctor the doctor can’t do it you might

have to doctor can you tell someone else

to harm someone else yes do it thank you

for the question

one thing that I should clarify this is

a common myth is that you can do no harm

except that once I have to say it’s

actually just do no harm and there was

no there’s no exception to that rule

yeah but the Hippocratic oath is like

agreeing to Terms of Service when you

register an account somewhere that’s

right you just that’s right yeah you

just skim through it maybe you have to

scroll all the way down before you even

click oh my god I did it it’s like

recently I got one of those again what

are they called the Drex pro yeah we

passed one on the way here yeah it’s

hard Rex Pro on the way here and I felt

so bad for it looked like it had just

given up on its mission and went away

but I know that’s part of the Terms of

Service because the same thing happened

to me but when I was scrolling through I

was like yeah yeah this will happen this

will happen that or no except you don’t

read this you just think you just agree

to it and a big big function that I’ve

designed that I direct Pro to be is to

have free will this is not a Calvinist

you know robot I’ve got to say like I I

know you you’re the designer of it and

that might not have been the best idea

I don’t know free wills kind of crazy

right

I miss my director best world oh yeah I

love West world probably like my third

favorite oh yeah who’s got Cowboys in it

too easily best cowboy

easily one of my best cowboy shows I’ve

seen so are we gonna shoot Lilith or

what’s going on here okay I’ve had my

arms out this entire pose you’re very

strong upper body strength thank you

you’re welcome

all right before we do this Lilith in

case anything goes wrong which it won’t

cuz look how tiny this bullet is it’s so

it’s really yeah it’s so small but just

in case is do you is there anything you

want to like you want to say or do you

any last requests last requests that it

would be a last anything no no you I

found some rubber gloves look like white

last why does this have to be last we

don’t need to kill her she just has

rabies a vampire laced all the Bulls

with garlic that’s what that smell is

well no okay oh wait wait wait

can’t we test if she’s a vampire if you

have do you have garlic honey of course

I always get a guy like I’m from the New

Jersey part of hell we’re loaded with

garlic okay

he practically sweats it how can we use

this garlic to test this out I don’t

know I don’t know how this works doctor

um okay well this is once again for

rabies

I don’t think garlic is really cure but

I guess if we were leaning into the

whole vampire idea just putting it near

her like where the scent would come

around like for any allergy that’s

generally how it works right

you rub it against the skin maybe and

then okay but of course I don’t want to

do and if like shock if she is or okay

well I I love garlic I don’t think I’m

allergic so Graham come here I’m gonna

I’m gonna rub you on my face well I

let’s figure out how to use the gun

first can we just shoot the garlic at

you

no can that be the compromise if you

have to she’ll do it I think that’s a

good conference let’s just get rid of

the bullets we’re just gonna shoot

garlic all right load me up

dr. London is that okay with you finally

I’m I’m still borderline honestly that’s

still are you using gunpowder for this I

don’t know you you just stick it in

there

yeah well wait wait wait well what if we

can at least be nine-millimeter garlic 9

millimeters long I think I don’t know

anything about guns full disclosure

well I know a lot about guns but not

garlic guns that is an area I have not

studied as much as I should have

look I’ll whittle down this garlic half

into a little bullet and then we’ll just

little nine-millimeter okay

have you thought of maybe just holding

that bullet near just like the matrix if

she didn’t dodge it oh no oh this is oh

it hurts yeah it hurts it hurts but I

mean we know we know what that means

that that it was just shot out of a

firearm and maybe the the the impact of

the projectile was harmful to her skin

maybe broke the skin you’re saying it’s

more likely that she’s in pain because

we shot something at her and not because

she’s a vampire why don’t you use that

little metal my god guys dr. London guys

I really thought that it was rabies but

now I think she’s a vampire because

garlic hurts her okay

oh this are so bad what’s the protocol

here you got I don’t know we’re we’re

settled on this we don’t want her to be

a vampire so we’re gonna beat her up

until she’s not here why should matter

is that team Jacob Jacob forever okay so

I guess we need a werewolf is that the

answer there yes I think they just want

to beat the yeah okay oh this hurts so

much guys just get it okay I I don’t

think I can stand by and let someone get

hurt either that’s another part of this

whole doctor thing so maybe it’s about

time to just send you guys off

maybe we can get this worked out at a

hospital or something let’s just go back

to the station or yeah or back alley

yeah

actually hey can that directs pro that

we passed can that do anything that

maybe it is impressive she doesn’t even

look pale anymore

whoa I I actually owe some plastic

surgery to booth oh I feel luxurious

whoa I’ve never felt this good before

oh and the butt cheeks would spray just

like Nicki Minaj lovely scent in the air

to lavender

wow I can’t believe how good I feel oh

I’m sorry what did you say Scientology

well I can’t tell what drag spray what

are you saying

support Scientology I think she’s saying

support Scientology she doesn’t like

that at all

Drex bro is pointing a gun right at me

let’s just end this probably then we

need to wrap this up and deal with this

okay is there any way for our listeners

to reach you

Lilith Grimm Jack at your radio station

right yeah sure um well unfortunately

because we can only keep our radio

station open every so often we do have

an email that we use okay and that yeah

it’s dead waves radio at gmail.com you

can send us any questions that you have

about paranormal things like vampires or

ghouls boozes I do like a good news also

you could listen to our radio show on

Wednesdays okay and the radio show is

dead wife’s dead waves radio that’s

right okay

and maybe we’ll stop on by your station

sometime – Oh we’d love to have you all

right and thank you to Cameron as always

producer Cameron thank you to digital in

the hose thank you ever felt this good

before

spiritually and physically even I got a

bad vibe I’m worried about where this

might be going that I’m gonna have to

hear it with my ears

[Music]

support Scientology

my name is dr. London smith.com this has

been the jock doc podcast see you want

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spoken in years and now he just shows up

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can scarcely find it is this even the

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feign some interest but when the ball

flies to the air towards you you realize

that this is too much to deal with

emotionally as you walk away you do some

soul-searching ignoring the raised voice

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after you the cutting words that it

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[Music]

[Applause]

30: Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm/Sam Clamenson

Hey kids you are about to listen to a comedy

podcast that means none of this is

medical advice if you need medical

advice or medical care please contact

your doctor

[Music]

Welcome to the Jock Doc Podcast

featuring Dr. London Smith he’s a swole

daddy and a medical baddy

introducing your host Dr. London Smith

hello and welcome to the Jock Doc

Podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host Dr. London

Smith .com I would like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we have

received some feedback about the amount

of technical terminology I’ve been using

such as liver function tests and dignity

so I will try to stick to more common

terminology in the future here to help

with that is our producer Cameron hi

friends Cameron works so hard to make

sure that our podcast stays relevant

working hard okay that’s good to hear

shh-shh

are you trying I trying to make train

sounds shovel OH

shovel okay this is me shoveling all the

laughs all the humour all the fun all

the things that you can’t bring to the

table onto the pile that is the podcast

okay yeah so Cameron tries so hard to

keep the podcast relevant and

understandable to our listeners that

when he was told that it was getting

chilly outside he began a search for

this it clown because it was getting

chilly outside and furthermore where he

could also find some of this chilly so

Cameron where it could

find a Chili’s to go okay I guess I

misinterpreted because it’s chilly

outside you were looking for

yeah Chili’s to go you were hunting

you’re outside you just pull up into

your spot and then they bring you the

food okay okay that makes sense and

we’re not sponsored by Chili’s to go but

I think if we like put a little pressure

on them we could okay I’m just saying

okay no it it’d be great to be sponsored

by Chili’s that sounds nice

I’m just saying maybe if we get if we

figure out who the CEO is maybe get a

house key maybe sneak in a little bit

and then just kind of wing it I don’t I

don’t know what’s gonna happen after

then but that’s kind of the fun of it I

feel like that’s not that that’s not the

fun of it that’s you know sneaking into

someone’s house without their knowledge

yeah this is already choosing yeah this

is so fun well also with us is did you

do the whole fitness and health fitness

and health fitness and health this is

already truthful yeah this is so fun

and later Kevin Joseph and baby back

ribs that’s maybe a thing I could say to

him beause that how’s this for baby back

ribs yeah but you like would you have

ribs in your hands well these are all

things that we can workshop and figure

out in the future while we’re there

again we’re gonna wing it I think we

should really trust our instincts on

this one my instincts are telling me

don’t do it how’s this for a baby back

rib rib see these are all things that we

could maybe talk about and kind of

figure something out okay

and later Cameron tells me that we can

expect a very special guest that is true

dr. London right so look forward to that

but before we move on I would like to

address a bit of listener feedback quote

he really gets me going lol if only I

wasn’t married married bills sixty-three

years ago this spring happily married

end quote

first of all thank you so much for

reaching out to us here at the jock dock

podcast we always appreciate hearing

back from our listeners to answer your

question it’s it’s great that you’ve

been married for 63 years that’s quite

an accomplishment and we here at the

podcast congratulate you for that though

Temptations can always arise I admire

that you can recognize the valuable

relationship that you already have oh

you think you’re so awesome well here’s

an awesome blossom for you

that’s for us where the Chili’s guys the

Chili’s guy I mean I assume that’s who

she was talking about right not her

husband but the guy who like really gets

things going for her do you think she’s

referring to the Chili’s CEO oh yeah I

I’m not sure perhaps I thought since she

was sending it to us that it was

addressed to maybe the podcast itself or

something nope anyway to that listener

thank you for listening now for a tale

from my clinic a patient came in and I

asked the usual questions like how they

have been since their last appointment

whether they’ve been taking their

medications as prescribed etc and I

often asked them just to bring their

pill bottles with them so we can be sure

about what they were taking and how much

they have left when I asked this

particular patient had been taking his

medications and whether he needed a

refill he held out his empty pill bottle

for a moment I thought okay so he ran

out of his medication but whenever I

asked he clarified oh no I have more

meds left see I take them out of this

bottle because I don’t know I don’t like

how it looks and I transfer it to a

bigger bottle then I transfer pills from

that bottle into my daily medicine

planning dispenser so that is an example

of how it can be difficult for

clinicians to get a clear story from a

patient even about something as simple

as a medication I think it’s really

reassuring that people know that they

can go to you with anything with any of

their issues and you will tell their

story anonymously on the podcast yes

yeah especially embarrassing things

things that say an accident maybe maybe

you’re dealing with the drug addicts and

things of that nature I like it it’s

it’s anonymous and it’s you know

identifying information which I did I do

want to deal with some of this stuff a

little bit because I have been

uncomfortable with the anonymous nature

of these things are they gonna happen

you keep telling these stories okay when

I say anonymous I mean unidentified not

yeah

I’m so scary dude yeah and anonymous the

number one hacker group of 2009 there

were those beaver masks yeah and they

carried signs against Scientology yeah

so this stood up against Scientology

before then the only people brave enough

to do that was the most popular comedy

television show South Park bridge you

know so I guess this is my fault

I should have clarified that when I say

anonymous I don’t mean the organization

Anonymous it sends shivers down my spine

yeah so I’m not referring to them or you

know to that hacker group I’m actually

referring to just sort of the concept of

anonymity where you you’re not

identified and so with these patients

sometimes there’ll be a funny thing that

happens some little sort of odd thing in

conversations yeah if they don’t say

everything perfectly they can rest

assured that you’re just gonna nail them

on the podcast yes just really just like

rake them over the coals yes and that’s

what I love about this show

no cold and no punches

especially towards the sick and addicted

and usually these are with patients who

are you know generally I mean it varies

between patients but it’s more about

conversational things right right right

sort of like what you deal with it in

everyday life but sort of the reason why

we do it is because I see I meet so many

new people every day that in a given day

you’ll run into someone more quirky and

it’s just like any job where you meet a

lot of new people from all walks of life

well that’s probably their quirks and

things like that are one probably the

reason they want to stay anonymous into

the reason they probably were forced

towards a life of you know crime based

tacking okay I do want to say if you

want to hack someone on this podcast if

you’re taking offense towards these

stories and having your medical history

just thrown around publicly I do not

have anything I don’t have a single

thing I don’t have a single asset I am

hugely in debt dr. London has a yacht he

has a yacht inside of a yacht don’t ask

me why but he insisted on it Wow just

saying just throwing it out there my

social security number no its fourth

yeah okay

what oh so you can just dish it you can

dish all these stories but you can’t

give the people what they want

no now for today’s medical topic

abdominal aortic aneurysm abdominal

aortic aneurysm is an abnormal localized

dilation or expanded portion of the

aorta and so the aorta is the big blood

vessel that comes out of the heart and

down through the abdomen so problems

with the aorta can have big consequences

as for abdominal aortic aneurysm the

average time of diagnosis of one is 65

to 70 years old

and is more common in men and smokers so

men who smoke are typically screened for

this condition via ultrasound at some

point between

ages of 65 and 75 years of age one

reason we screen for it is although you

like those smoked baby back ribs well

how about this how about I smoked you

with this yeah I

one reason we scream poker you might

have a artal whatever you said so one

reason we screen for abdominal aortic

aneurysm is that we may not even may not

be present clinically but rather it can

progressively expand until slowly it

ruptures all of a sudden

so the triad of abdominal pain

hypotension and a palpable pulsatile

abdominal mass indicates a ruptured

aortic aneurysm and for that emergency

surgery is indicated well and I do want

to say like I do think it’s fine to mess

with the chili CEO guy like who cares

but you don’t want to mess with triads

okay and I guess that that’s my fault I

should clarify this

when I say triad I mean it’s it’s three

symptoms grouped together I guess some

of them are symptoms some of them are

signs right it’s three it’s multiple

criminal organizations I believe based

in Hong Kong Taiwan and then maybe like

Singapore or something like that

so it’s a multiple groups kind of under

one umbrella and you do not want to mess

with these triads all right well I I

guess similarly to that concept you

don’t want to mess with a ruptured

abdominal aortic aneurysm which the

triad once again would be a hypotension

abdominal pain and a palpable pulsatile

abdominal mass well especially if

they’re trying to loan you money that’s

just too good to be true just know that

if you can’t pay up with that like crazy

interest that they’re requiring they’re

not just gonna get mad at you you get

you going them saying yeah yeah I think

they’re gonna cut off a limb kind of a

finger that way you’re prepared for

I I think we might be talking about

different things here but we can I

understand why you’re trying to change

the subjects

we’ve never been 100% clear on where you

get all your funds I’ve never been 100%

clear on it for me it’s because so I’m I

work as a doctor that’s yeah then but I

never see you at home during the day

that’s because I’m usually at you know

the hospital or oh yeah sure do you

think that people who are always never

see you at the house that people who are

at the house make money by being at the

house I’m just saying it’s impossible to

verify your whereabouts cuz you’re never

around that’s all that’s all I’m saying

and I just I don’t know where you’re

getting all this money from and now

you’re trying to distance yourself from

triads it’s interesting to me

that’s all and you’re trying you’re not

on board with this chilis thing I don’t

know how that connects but I’ll figure

that out eventually

well Cameron yeah you said you have a

guest for us today we do dr. London okay

hello there hi this is dr. London yes

that’s me do you go by London or you go

by Smith cuz your last name Smith right

yeah usually go by dr. London just

because it’s easier to identify Smith’s

but there are only so many I see I see

yeah I was I was thinking about calling

you dr. calm because it’s actually dr.

Linda Smith calm isn’t it yeah so you

you could but and that I guess would be

less common even then dr. London dot geo

dr. dot govt basically what happened as

there is a there was another dr. Smith

that looks a lot like our dr. London

Smith who did some things that were

questionable and so dr. London

struggling by dr. London then there was

a dr. London who looked exactly like dr.

London that started doing some things

that were questionable so to distance

himself from that he started going as

dr. London smith.com

I want to approach the people the

professionals I’m working with a little

bit of respect so we’ll go with dr.

London if that’s okay with you sure

moves your name so I’m

in Clemmensen Sam claimed misen yeah you

know you can call me Sam

I don’t I don’t want people to get

tripped up on that last name just like I

got tripped up on your and you know I

was calling because um you know I’ve

been I’ve been having a lot of pain okay

can you tell me about this pain do you

tell me more yeah I mean it’s like it’s

like it’s not like you know broke my leg

or uh you know I got a rash I got you

know Bista it’s a really really deep

pain like I feel it in my soul is this

is this more of an emotional pain than

it is a physical I mean it’s emotional

but you know I’m sitting back and it’s

like man I just ate like after a damn

shaking all over inside and out

oh well that’s I’m sorry to hear that

how long has this been going on I mean

I’ve been saying it’s probably you know

like six months so yeah happy you’re

happy here probably yeah okay so you had

these aches and pains for six months

have you have you tried seeing a doctor

about it you know I have my own kind of

ways of addressing this stuff like you

know it might be a little bit forward to

you pouring some your listeners but uh I

really like lemon juice you know like

usually when I get hurt I just put some

lemon juice on and things get better

Wow well I I mean I broke my arm last

year put some lemon juice on it was it

was fine and like you know three to six

months really it Wow

it all healed up yeah I’m I just had the

leverage you saw him there waited and

eventually I was better I mean I feel

like my usually little lemon juice like

I you know I got I think it was a couple

years ago uh I got like you know I

walked into like a hive like a bee hive

and I got stung all over I was in the

hospital from one Simoes didn’t do

anything put some lemon juice on a house

I was fine I mean I I didn’t even notice

anything after you know I’m eight nine

months well that brings me to my next

question uh are you do you deal with

lemons a lot at work

or what do you do for work oh yeah right

so I you know I do a little bit that you

know is that a little bit of lemon based

this and a little bit of leaves I mean I

mean I do have um I guess I call it kind

of a lemon business where I sell the

lemons and I figure you know I’m getting

hurt

you know I a little bit of a klutz so I

get hurt quite a bit so I gotta use the

limits for that but then you know I got

leftover lemons because I bomb a bull

come I usually go to Costco so you know

I sell the rest of the lemons and uh you

know there’s that saying every time life

could you live and make lemonade so I

got plenty of lemonade since I’m selling

some of that too so your business is

going to Costco buying lemons and then

just selling those exact same lemon

exactly and you know a lot of people

don’t realize this but you need a

membership to go to Costco and I got I

got a membership so that’s most of your

overhaul right there is the is the

$50.00 a year membership right exactly

exactly and I’m sure he’s probably

spending money to get a hot dog like one

of the $2 dogs or you know a slice of

pizza I’ve been trying to cut back on

the meat so I can you get the pizza I

get some soft-serve yogurt and you’re

probably just munching on lemons right

yeah pretty good for you like all the

way around the bottom and see and like I

think that’s why it usually works on my

pain except for this pain this is a

soulful pain and that’s that’s why I’m

calling in dr. London because this is a

real pain and I feel like I need it I

need a shoulder to cry on and maybe

maybe a doctor to kind of get it but my

my deep woes here

well that’s dr. London we should I think

we should take it back you said this

started about six months ago so in about

machine right right

so could you do you remember the before

and after do you remember what was the

inciting incident of this deep deep soul

based pain yeah I mean I to be honest I

feel like and I don’t want to diagnose

myself because you know people go over

there they go on WebMD and they try to

do this to show but uh to be honest my

wife left me

okay I’m sorry to hear that

wouldn’t you say so she left you um have

you tried going to therapy or anything

like that for this normally they say

well you know you always smell like

lemons you know as Karen lemons around

you always drinking lemonade maybe they

have something to do with your wife

leaving you and I I just don’t feel like

that’s right you know like I felt like I

need the professional medical advice

about this can’t be right the way people

judge other people just for being a

little different astounds dr. London

does this a lot too he has these

patients come in and he’s just always

like oh you smell like a specific fruit

I can’t stand you he does this well yeah

it’s a thing and you know I go to a

group it’s like you know fruit of holics

Anonymous and we you know there’s people

who like oranges there’s people who like

pears and I don’t even know if I pears

the fruit or vegetable to be going

honest but we let them in the group

anyway and like you know it’s it’s a

it’s a common thing so do you get along

with these people or uh generally

generally I mean there was one person

who came in she was like I hate laymen’s

I love strawberries and I was just like

I understand she’s got a condition I did

some deep-breathing you know I I kind of

centered myself it’s a meditation and

you know I got through it so I’m so

sorry you had to deal with that Oh Sam

this sounds like it’s been difficult did

your did this

you said the lemon this lemon business

started before your wife lefty then

right before six months ago you were

getting into lemons how how long before

that did you start this lemon enterprise

okay and well I don’t and I’m not trying

to take a side here on any of it but did

this affect your marriage at all yeah I

mean my wife she would be like you know

why would drink of lemonade again we

drank it last night I was writing that

before we’re drinking a week before

dragging the month before and I was told

her it’s got lots of good properties got

you know it’s got uh vitamin C and yeah

yummy she didn’t always love the lemons

but you know I didn’t always love

everything about her either

you make it you make it work and you

know she uh what can I say I mean she’s

sometimes she wanted to weren’t the

orange juice and I was like okay fine

but I you know i sat there kind of

drinking my lemon hey with like you know

the judging eyes and you know I got kind

of got to her but uh yeah I mean we made

it work for for a little while but uh

yeah now I just got the soulful pain and

I don’t know what to do about it

this reminds me of a relationship I was

in that uh this it still kind of hurts

to talk about but I I kind of put both

both me and the person I was dating on a

and I put on a diet grape Faygo diet

okay Fago of course being the soda

famously associated with Juggalos okay

and that became kind of what we consume

morning day and night by diet I don’t

mean that wasn’t just what we had I mean

that’s what we were consuming at all

hours of the day oh and she kept saying

my teeth hurt my my kidneys hurt like

all these things are hurt so bad

and I kept saying well you committed

this lifestyle you committed this

relationship so what I’m hearing is you

don’t love me well yeah and so how did

that turn out I don’t know how I left I

just walked away

oh so in this case this causes you to

leave because you were frustrated with

okay yeah I’m sorry to hear that Cameron

it’s a lot of difficult relationships

based around I guess diets today I know

right and that’s and that’s why I’ve

been looking at this I’ve been looking

at the websites that go on like the

OkCupid I go on the mass comm and I put

them in like you know I love lemons yeah

if you don’t love living see I probably

ain’t gonna love you and you know I’ve

that’s I’ve been going on some dates I’m

getting out there and you know uh

sometimes lemons ain’t in season but I’m

sleeping the lemons like the ones you

know I like store them in the fridge and

you know freezer and uh I’m not so sure

everyone’s so into this lifestyle but I

feel like we should be a country where

you know anyone can anyone could find

anyone right absolutely

you know I’ll tell you right now you’re

gonna have people probably people like

dr. Ron in because of his judgmental

attitude telling you hey cool it on the

lemons it seems clear that the lemons

are affecting every aspect of your life

negatively and I’m saying I had people

telling me about that about my diet

grape Faygo and I said f you yeah like

the Cee Lo Green song f you and I told

him to get out of my face

and you know what I drink Fago every

single day still to this day my life

revolves around it I think about it

non-stop and I’m happier than I’ve ever

been I want to kill myself

so this but I’m the happiest I’ve ever

been so wanting to kill yourself that’s

that’s it up from where you were oh yeah

because before I wanted to kill myself

and had no Faga whatsoever but now give

the same feeling but in addition to that

now I’ve got a ton of Faygo yes well

this that’s actually concerning Cameron

that’s something we should probably talk

about we could deal with it after the

podcast but so what do you what do you

suggest I mean we’re listening to Sam’s

issues and the this pain that he’s

dealing with I mean Sam what if what

have you tried to help this pain well

have you tried any I mean there’s lemons

you know I’ve been eating the lemons and

uh yeah I made some recommend to 10

Ewing on that path I made some lemon

meringue pie and you know never had

lemons quite that way before it’s pretty

good yeah I see you’re just eating the

peel on its own right now I think is

that you know I feel like you’ve

probably got some fiber or something I

mean you know it’s good it’s good to eat

the skin is some people say about

potatoes right I mean yeah I I can’t

speak to it have you well one problem

with eating one particular type of food

to the exclusion of all others I’m not

sure if you’ve been doing that but it

can leave you with vitamin deficiencies

well some people had that point of view

I mean you’re right some of my dates

have said similar and uh you know I’ve

taken that into consideration

when you go out to eat do you order just

lemons to eat lemon generally lemons but

uh you know I got some sides sometimes

you know I get a some lime some thyme

some limes on the side so you know if

that’s true to you you need to stick

with I know dr. London here is saying Oh

mix it up and you’re not getting the

vitamins that you need I’m saying screw

him

you know what’s pure in your heart and

that’s that baby that my friends that’s

what I like about this show because you

can get dr. loans opinion but you can

also get a second opinion you don’t even

have to pay twice like you’re you get it

both in one place oh yeah you can get

dr. London’s you know how do I even put

this like scammy scummy made-up I don’t

know nonsense or you can get like

someone with some real street smarts who

consumes 35 gallons of Diet grape Faygo

every single day okay

well I have another question for Sam so

I noticed that you have well for one

thing we all know that you know vitamin

C prevents scurvy so it’s that’s one

bright side to you having always lemons

but I do see that your teeth looked like

they’re decaying and is that I think I

see mouth ulcers from all the acidity

has that did your wife mention to that

as an issue well I mean she did a couple

times mentioned a couple of things about

the dental area you know I brush my

teeth I have I have some lemon flavored

toothpaste and I do try to take care of

them I mean lemons are free you got to

remember this and I never heard of a

doctor who said you eating too many

fruit so absolutely yeah that’s

ridiculous this is this is the kind of

stuff dr. London anti-vaccine Thai fruit

yes no okay I should clarify on that I’m

not anti facts I strongly support

vaccinations dr. London forced

vaccinations and forced fruits but no

lemons this is the kind of stuff he

tries to push okay they’re also Sam well

real quick I want to say you mentioned

lemon flavored toothpaste could you

through what that is normal

yeah it’s toothpaste it’s a company out

of Florida it makes it and you know

everything our Florida is pretty good in

my opinion I’m from northern Florida

myself but you know it’s basically it’s

your normal toothpaste but it’s kind of

yellowish I kind of tastes like lemons

it’s for that for the lemon lovers out

there so um and I brush my teeth you

know two three times a day with that

stuff and I figure you know long as you

long as you maintain in the dental

hygiene you can eat whatever you want

and dr. lemon could you maybe talk

through some of the medical benefits of

consuming a constant stream of lemons

day a day in and day out well and that’s

one of the things I’m trying to address

here is that actually so some of that a

balanced diet involves lemons or or some

citrus fruits fruits and vegetables but

it also involves other herbs it healed

his broken bones over the course of

months and months I see what I’m

guessing is perhaps either the I’m not

sure the condition of his bones at the

time like I wasn’t there to see it but

that sounds a little bit far-fetched to

me that that merely putting on lemon

juice would fix it

that that seems less than believable to

me if that over the course of months and

months especially over the course of

months I mean we can’t we can’t expect

not with every kind of treatment takes

time I mean am I wrong doctor well it

sounds like waiting what what you just

stated waiting for it to heal itself it

could have very well have been what

happened since it took months and months

well I mean it’s not magic bones can’t

just heal themselves over a month you

know months and months period probably

in a cast or something like that it’s

not like it’s gonna heal itself

yeah give osteoblast and osteoclast the

osteoclasts

we’re the osteoblast lay down bone this

is all sort of a process that happens on

the stay to the level that your bones

actually can regenerate so that’s they

can heal well your bones can regenerate

with the help of lemon yes this is the

kind of information that I love dr.

London this is a kind of stuff I love

science and I feel and I feel like I’m

getting so much affirmation from this

visit I mean doctor a lot of you working

miracles hear me you’re making me feel a

little less painful already well I am

glad to hear that but but I really think

you should probably you know see a new

therapist maybe because it sounds like

you’re dealing with some some things

with your wife leaving and that’s more

of a therapist kind of thing rather than

you know a medical physician doctor

visit but although a psychiatrist may

also prescribe you some something to

help with is there any kind of like

lemon based medication you know take for

this I could probably drum something up

I mean you could put like maybe wrap the

pill and a lemon flavored something

that’s what I’m not like this is a real

breakthrough we’re having right here

right well and one thing I should say

you really should not exclusively eat

just the lemons I’m gonna have to take

the side of anyone else in your life who

has also said that because a diet of one

thing too too much of one thing is bad

we might just want to wrap this up

because I don’t really see you wanting

to give give up this sort of diet to Sam

and it seems to be kind of the root of

all your problems is just your love for

for eating them yeah of course the the

root of all your problems is the thing

you love most in this world great advice

dr. London I’m glad that our patients

can can just call in and get great

advice like that so you just tear them

down and say they can’t love what they

love purely well I also so he had a

relationship with his wife I assume

which

affected by this other love for lemons

tell me honestly who do you love more

your ex-wife lemons I mean the way I see

it is sometimes two people just say in a

right fit

you know they mm-hmm they ain’t

necessarily cut out for each other and

but sometimes a person and a citrus

fruit they they are the right fit and

they generally are cut out for each

other and I can keep eating them and I’m

pretty happy with that decision Wow

this is making me cry this is so sweet

that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever

heard

yeah I feel better already been to dr.

lund do you have just affirmed

everything I already knew to be true

about myself and my behavior and how I

was right to keep eating lemons until my

wife left me so I just feel so great I’m

so I was so happy to be here

all right that’s not exactly what I was

trying to convey but we really are low

on time um well thank you Sam

clam usin was how you say it yeah clay

dancing playing exclaiming soon

Clemmensen so Sam I think we’re gonna

wrap it up here but is there a way that

any of our listeners can reach you to

follow you or hear you somewhere else I

got my own podcast going it’s called

extremely offline and we just we bring

together guessing you know they talked

to talk about all kinds of stuff but

usually from different kind of points of

view trying to get gather for a

discussion across differences so okay

well that sounds great and is there any

way they can reach you on you know

follow you on social media or anything

like that I got this kind of anonymous

moniker it’s a zai d– Kile and i you

know that’s my my kind of my at anya the

social media so on Twitter and other

places okay all right well yeah to our

listeners you should go give that a

follow and give it a listen

subscribe all right well thank you Sam

for being on Thank You Cameron our

producer Thank You dr. London for

shooting down any suggestion that

another

person might have and for tearing down

the things people love I appreciate it I

really do we need people like you to

work as sort of a villain in this world

okay and thank you to digital in my

house

[Music]

dr. London has a yacht he is a yacht

inside of a yacht dr. London smith.com

this has been the jock dock podcast see

ya it’s Friday night

your friends bailed on you again so you

have no plans you are going to write a

five-star review of the jock dock

podcast on Monday but all these friends

of yours had kept you so occupied that

well you just lost track of time

but tonight mr. teddy bear had an

important meeting that quote couldn’t

wait

mrs. stuffed elephant went to start an

ethical circus

captain vampire shipped out to the thumb

wars so all of your best friends are

gone so maybe it’s time to reflect and

take care of some of those important

things that you’ve been neglecting hmm

so yes it is finally time to text

lieutenant giraffe and doll with head

torn off the 7th with a link to your

favorite episode of the jock duck

podcast no dr. London can you rate and

review and share only on Fridays no no

actually you could have done this on

Monday that day whenever your friends

blew you off you could do it on a

Tuesday afternoon or as well at night is

also an option mid-morning I can’t I I

can listen to this at night like it

works at night yeah it’s actually pretty

recorded even if I can’t see if it’s too

dark to see yeah so actually the thing

about podcasts what makes it such an

interesting medium is that it’s all

audio based see you could be blind and

do our blind listeners thank you for

listening to our deaf listeners also

thank you for listening

thank you it still helps us so you can

to them you’re a link to your favorite

episode of the jock talk podcast or

maybe just send them our handy website

jock doc podcast comm if that’s easier

and maybe fill your social media feed

with fun stuff from at jock talk podcast

and you know what I would say if you

need to make it more enticing like let’s

say you have friend who doesn’t really

listen to many podcasts and you need you

you need them to take interest like mr.

elephant yeah you should tell them that

there’s a really really great panini

recipe in the middle of the pie that’s

really good yeah or like there’s

collectively a great panini recipe if

they listen to enough episodes oh like

one ingredient on episode yeah yeah you

have to listen for it but it’s there

yeah yeah okay and most importantly it’s

time to go ahead and leave a five-star

review for the jock Dawg podcast you can

do that in whichever app especially if

you have an Apple product you could just

go to the podcast app and write a review

just scroll down writer view and you can

write about the five-star reviews

telling which children’s toys were too

busy to hang out with you this weekend

and maybe go into the reddit comments

section maybe go to like the earth porn

reddit and it’ll be a picture of what

sunset yeah and then you’d go in there

you’re like oh man this sunsets so cool

reminds me of yeah I wish I could be

watching this sunset while listening to

my favorite podcast yeah podcast or

maybe you go to the Taylor Swift’s

armpits subreddit which is a real

subreddit and it’s important and on a

picture of Taylor Swift’s armpits you

say mom

man these armpits are so good I wish I

was looking at them while I was

listening to my favorite podcast the

jock talk podcast mm-hmm yeah and

honestly if you guys can just keep doing

that because really most of our listener

base is Taylor Swift armpit fans

specifically people who dislike the rest

of her oh yeah yeah seething hatred for

everything else yeah

about her but love the armpits so and of

course we love all of our listeners

including our Taylor Swift armpit fans

and including Taylor Swift Taylor

reached out to us recently and told us

how big of a fan she was uh-huh

no it’s almost embarrassing how much she

was gushing about it yeah it made me

uncomfortable

she said that you belong to me was about

you Dr. London yeah and I

I tried to tell her I don’t I haven’t

heard of you yeah and I’d been like I

didn’t say it cuz she’s right there it’s

embarrassing yeah I was like no but I

mean now I know of her and now I know

better armpits anyway thank you for

listening

[Music]

28: Coarctation of the Aorta/Klompy/CHRISTMAS

Hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast

this means that none of this is medical

voice of you need medical advice or

medical care please contact your doctor

Ho ho ho welcome to a very special

episode of the Jock Doc Podcast

featuring jolly old Dr. London Smith

he puts the ho in homozygous familial

hypercholesterolemia introducing your

Host Doctor London hello and welcome to

the jock doc podcast where we discuss

fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring I’m

your host Dr. London smith.com

I would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners we’ve received some

feedback complaining about the overuse

of technical medical terminology such as

laboratory results Hanukkah Christmas

and Happy Holidays

so I will try to keep those reined in in

the future here to help with that is our

producer Cameron okay

so Cameron why doesn’t it give everyone

a Christmas gift and just shut his Yap

Cameron thought to himself but he

couldn’t be too mad at Dr. London

because Christmas was right around the

corner Oh Cameron are you narrating

what’s up are you are you speaking in

like your thoughts out loud wait can you

hear that yeah no that’s super no I

think that you’re just hearing I just

got a like a so no system installed you

know like the whole home speaker audio

setup that’s probably what you’re

hearing okay cuz it’s sound like I was

playing Counting Crows in the other room

that’s what you’re thinking of I didn’t

hear anything about didn’t sound like

music sound like you just talking I I

don’t know I don’t know what

I can’t hear what you’re hearing dr.

Huang done okay

so Cameron he’s so in tune with the

latest trends in the world that ever

since he heard about the war on

Christmas he has been spending several

hours of each day next to Christmas

trees that he deems to be suspiciously

quiet in order to learn what secrets

they are hiding for their leader so

Cameron from what I understand you

intend to use this information to make

the podcast more relevant what the hell

is he talking about

Cameron thought but he couldn’t be too

mad at dr. London because he knew that

at the end of this episode dr. London

was gonna have a huge Christmas surprise

waiting for him that’s really all he can

think about okay hey answer your

question dr. London yet Christmas trees

love them they’re so great okay one

small ones any size all right

also with us is DJ doing the house and

later Cameron tells me that we can

expect a guest so look forward to that

that’s right dr. London and it’s a very

very important guest probably one of our

most important guests oh really well

okay so someone who’s like maybe a

scientist or a physician maybe but

definitely more important than the guy

who made that app where you smell stuff

okay so okay priority goes this new

guest and then him the whiff app yeah

okay and then everyone else is third

okay so it’s in that order okay yep so

prior to this the whiff app guessed the

maker of the whip with app was

the top guests in your mind I was the

most important like culturally important

and also just sort of you know

beneficial to be on this show yes okay

okay well I I guess I don’t feel exactly

the same way but we can go on from there

before we move on though I would like to

dress a bit of listener feedback closure

would be nice for dr. London to maybe

kind of listen to some of my suggestions

and odds cameron thought but he couldn’t

be too bad at dr. London because he knew

that by the end of this episode dr.

London would be giving him a gift worth

of at least a million dollars and that

was keeping him motivated so Cameron I

can hear what you’re saying I can I said

it huh I and I said it was a song in the

other room Cameron what are you thinking

about I guess I should ask that well

what do you what are you talking about I

guess okay so I guess what I mean here

so I should ask you how are you feeling

what’s going on in your mind well I’m

just saying if you describe the Counting

Crows song you’re hearing I bet I can

tell you which one it is if that’s the

issue I’m like a human Shazam

okay no no that’s that’s alright like

London dr. London ductile and say say

hit me baby one more time to me okay hit

me baby one more time Britney Spears I

just do that okay well I didn’t even

like sing it so it could have just been

like you see that’s more of a quote okay

okay so that makes me even better than

Shazam Oh because you can do it with our

flexible yeah I don’t even need the

music

Wow okay well so for this listener

feedback

quote cute idea for a centerpiece I

remember eating candy corn with my

cousin’s when we went to the neighbor’s

house anyway it would take tar off the

roof and chew it as gum mmm YUM kids

don’t know what they’re missing these

days end quote

so to this listener first of all thank

you so much for writing into the Jacque

talk podcast we love hearing from you to

answer your question I do not think that

I can recommend chewing tar-like gum I

can’t agree with you that kids these

days do have a much different upbringing

especially with technology and

everything hopefully though it’s it’s

improving and we’re all getting better

as a society hearing the way dr. London

talked about these guests not letting

them shoot our even on Christmas

he must be somewhat of a Scrooge yes

maybe there’s some way that we can give

him a good Christmas make him cheery

that way he’ll stop treating everyone so

poorly

Cameron thought to himself but he

couldn’t be too bad at dr. London

because he knew that by the end of this

episode dr. London was going to give him

at least one vehicle worth over a

million dollars well okay to do that

listener thank you for that question

so Cameron do you and this is I guess

this is just me thinking out loud a

little bit do you think that I’m gonna

give you something worth a million

dollars I I don’t like guessing

Christmas gifts you know I feel like

that takes the fun of opening the gift

okay but you you think like you are

working under an assumption that I’m

gonna give you something oh I I mean you

would you would texted me and you said

let’s record today it’s the it’s

Christmas right and you so I mean you

know yeah so I really like this everyone

and you can’t trick me into I know your

to what you’re trying to do you’re

trying to mislead me so that the gift

is a surprise you can’t trick me like

that I know you would never ever just

not give me a gift for Christmas yeah

well I might give you a gift but I am a

million dollar gift is not not really in

my budget oh okay okay sorry I didn’t

realize what you were doing okay okay

oh yeah no of course dr. London I would

never expect something like that I’m

sure you’re just gonna give me like a

like a stamp or something for my stamp

collection okay good I knew I knew that

your stamp collection was very important

to you so I after London so crazy he

thinks he’s gonna convince me that he

doesn’t have a gift worth over two

million dollars ready for me at the end

of this podcast Yeah right why would he

would never do that even dr. London’s

not that selfish Cameron thought to

himself but he couldn’t be too mad at

dr. London because he knew that at the

end of the podcast dr. London is going

to give him a gift worth three million

dollars and now for a tail from surgery

a patient was scheduled for an elective

surgery he was going to be under

anesthesia and for any patient

undergoing surgery like this he needed

to have someone else driving him but is

driving him home from the procedure

however he insisted on using a ride

share app on his phone rather than using

an emergency contact this is also not

permitted because no rideshare company

would want that kind of legal

responsibility so the nurse informed him

that he needed a friend or family member

to pick him up for the procedure at

first he refused and then he finally

gave in and he wrote down a phone number

however when the nurse called that phone

number while the patient was in surgery

that turned out to be the patient’s

phone number this this of course turnu a

very stressful situation for our staff

as we attempted to make accommodations

by finding and contacting the patient’s

family so if you ever find yourself

going into surgery please be kind enough

to leave appropriate and

Meishan so that we can serve you in the

most optimal way possible and if you are

a patient who maybe doesn’t have many

close people in their lives just know

that when you tell this information to

your doctor they will share it on their

podcast later okay well let’s move on

from there now for today’s medical topic

core tation of the aorta so Corrick

tation of the aorta

is a congenital malformation in which

there is a narrowing or is winslet open

this place I kind of want one of those

sandwiches that’s like all the meats and

all the cheese’s that they have but I

feel like it’s probably closed this late

I mean I guess I could see in worst case

scenario I could go to the store and

make a sandwich myself but never taste

quite as good

Kameron thought to himself he couldn’t

be too disappointed because he knew that

at the end of this podcast dr. London

was going to give him a Christmas gift

worth the entire moon so partition of

the aorta is a congenital malformation

in which there is a narrowing or

constriction of the aorta that typically

leads to obstruction between the earlier

and later portions of the aorta it’s

like having a bit of a kink in the main

pipeline from the heart at a certain

point oh yeah nice dr. London yeah what

you got you got something a little

freaky going on specific to you you know

what I mean that’s cool man that’s cool

I mean it’s 2019 like I think we can be

cool about that so so it’s a kink in the

main pipeline

oh no no dude a kink in the main

pipeline yeah I get it

you don’t have to get too graphic this

is a show that’s for kids mostly

[Applause]

it’s from the heart so this that kink

and the pipeline results in the high

blood pressure in the upper extremities

like the arms and low blood pressure in

the lower extremities okay so there are

many symptoms but you can note delayed

pulses and the femoral arteries which

those are the ones in the legs when

compared with the radial arteries which

are the ones on the wrists it’s it’s

legs that’s here that’s the that’s the

kink in your pipe your it’s legs okay no

so whatever doing keen I thought you’re

I think you’re talking about like I

don’t know like you were into like the

color blue or something but legs oh why

are you talking about this on the

podcast dr. lemon it’s not that kind of

show at all okay well I’m not sure I

follow because I was saying that so

there’s a kink in that way no I really

loud loud and clear you’ve got a kink in

your pipeline and it’s all focused on

legs hey you do you but I don’t need to

hear about it man anyway you’ll have

delayed pulses and the femoral arteries

if you compare them to the ones and the

wrists which the radial arteries in

diagnosis the EKGs will typically show

that the left lower chamber of the heart

is bigger from having to push against

that higher pressure and a chest x-ray

can show a notching of the ribs from

blood vessels expanding with increased

blood delivery mm-hmm

dr. London sure is a leg freak came and

thought to himself but you know maybe

this time of year I shouldn’t judge I

mean I would never let him around me

again in any kind of one-on-one scenario

because ish but I should let him be him

Cameron thought to himself again but he

couldn’t be too grossed out by dr.

London because he knew that at the end

of this podcast dr. London was going to

give him 7 million dollars worth of

Facebook share

so as I was saying the the chest x-ray

can show a notching of the ribs from

blood vessels expanding with increased

blood delivery and the indentation of

the aorta itself may be seen so it’s

it’s a structural problem which means

that treatment is typically going to be

surgery

so that’s Court ation of the aorta

Cameron are you under the impression

that I have shares in Facebook by any

chance uh no no one told me anything

about that about you knowing Mark

Zuckerberg or you know having lots of

shares on Facebook I know nothing about

that okay because I I should let you

know I don’t have have any shares in

facebook no I oh I understand doctor a

lot didn’t believe me dr. London you

don’t have to do this whole like show in

like surprise and stuff it’s very sweet

but you you don’t have to keep doing

that okay I just I don’t want you to get

like a false impression of sort or like

expectations too high or anything

because like I know about your stamp

collection and that you were hoping that

like one anyway

but so we’re on the same page right like

let’s not raise expectations too too

high low because sometimes you you seem

to take things out of context and then

or pull things from another context and

like make you know expand it in your

head does that make sense yeah yeah yeah

I don’t let me let me see what page I’m

on though what page yeah hold on one

second I gotta check I have a earmarked

wait what it what is that that you’re

reading

okay okay I’m on page 1 are you on page

1 what what are you reading from I’m not

sure what page a where’s spot the

children about the little yellow dog

with a big brown spot yeah so I’m not

I’m sorry you dog eared the first page

you well yeah I didn’t want to lose my

spot hole spot spot that’s pretty funny

I guess you know whenever you’re

starting a book you usually don’t have

to bookmark the your dog ear whatever

the first page because that’s usually

where you start what if you come back to

it and you think you’re on page 2 well I

usually think back to how far I got in

the book and if it was not past the

first page then there’s no real

confusion for me usually does which

would still do brownies they used to do

brownies but I feel like lately I’ve

only seen cookies I guess that would be

okay I’d really prefer the brownie just

has a little dessert with my sandwich

Cameron thought to himself but he

couldn’t be too mad about the dessert

choices at which-which because he knew

that at the very end of this podcast dr.

London was going to give him 15 million

dollars in beanie babies I feel like

you’re raising some expectation for me

to do something here and I gotta say I

don’t I don’t know if I’m gonna be able

to meet whatever expectations you have

my only expectation is that you be just

a good friend to me on Christmas that’s

it just like a I’m a good friend to you

that’s the only thing I expect nothing

boring okay well in that case obviously

we could close friends and co-workers

give each other gifts that have the

value that they believe they deserve

right okay Cameron do we have any

sponsors today we do dr. London and

guess what guess who it is

yes okay

it what’s one of those big ones I guess

like an audiobook kind of thing or no

scrubs what what’s the theme of this

specific episode okay so it’s like a

medical like some sort of new medication

that’s like top of the line like some

brand new thing that helps with I don’t

know all the time what what’s the theme

of this episode in relation to the time

of year that it happens to be the theme

of the episode I guess is coarctation of

the aorta okay doctor when can I talk to

you privately real quick okay this is

private wait it’s only us here and DJ

Dylan of course yeah but just like

without the audience you want to talk

without audio yeah okay

why can we talk I don’t I don’t

understand how this is difficult can we

speak to each other

sure okay okay I think we’re talking on

did the theme the theme of the episode

is Christmas it’s Christmas time is

really more focused on Christmas

presents Christmas is this week that’s

the theme of it okay everything you look

outside yes and you just say can you

just say it’s Christmas it’s Christmas

I’m sorry okay it’s Christmas okay great

oh yeah that’s right dr. London you’re

so smart it’s Christmas time and you

know what happens every year around

Christmas time what are some things that

happen

airports get pretty busy yes people are

traveling a lot of people get off work

yeah people go Christmas shopping yes

sometimes they’ll go to the mall

yes oh

okay that’s actually despite yourself

that’s actually getting close to what

we’re talking about today a lot of

people go to the mall and they might

take pictures with a certain man a

certain gift giver who lives up north do

you know who I’m talking about dr.

London I guess it’s so wealthy from up

north

yes yeah he’s only just got in the world

dr. London come on is it who’s that now

it’s not Bill Gates it’s the the Amazon

guy him yeah it’s Jeff Bezos but during

Christmas time Jeff Bezos is Santa right

I I didn’t realize that there was a

cross over there I thought Jeff Bezos

sort of kept his money to himself more

or less well I have to assume that the

same guy I’ve never seen him in the same

room together and he’s the only one who

could afford that much manufacturing and

it’s weird that he got into a busy

turned his you know book selling

business into giving away all these toys

and stuff come on proofs in the pudding

regardless it’s Santa just say it’s

Santa well who what are what are some

things people do at the mall they take

pictures with a certain man from up

north yeah so I guess people at the mall

take pictures with Jeff Bezos type like

a Santa Claus is that what you’re yes

[Music]

dr. London you’re so smart it’s Santa

Claus now okay you don’t have them all

but we have a better experience in our

very own DJ Dylan’s basement yes yes is

coming to my basement so come and get

your picture taken that’s right dr.

London you heard it here first

if you come to DJ Dylan’s basement this

Saturday from 4 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. you

will get to sit on the lap of Santa and

get your picture taken with any

Instagram effect you want on the picture

ok well and one odd thing there so

Christmas isn’t following on like if it

this Saturday it’d be after Christmas

Christmas this is the only day that

worked with everyone’s schedule because

of the holidays ok so after after

everyone opens their presents and like

has their time with family then like

towards the middle of the week then on

the weekend they can go to the mall and

I guess ask Santa for next year’s

presents is that the idea yes I next

year’s next year’s presents or maybe

like I don’t know I don’t I don’t know

how Santa operates maybe he can like

throw in some extra stuff afterwards you

know I don’t know how he deals with

returns and whatnot actually returns

that’s what he should really be dealing

with so if you got a Christmas gift that

you hate this weekend come to DJ Dylan’s

basement you said the mall dr. London DJ

Dylan’s basement you will get to sit on

Santa’s lap and tell him about all the

things that you’re returning

oh wow okay do you also I guess would be

a time to thank Santa for bringing the

gifts oh yeah pray to him for sure like

any well I don’t know I usually don’t

pray to him it’s more like you ask him

or you you tell him what you’ve been

good and he kind of evaluates whether

you’ve been good it’s that kind of thing

okay you don’t think kids are praying to

the guy who sees them when they’re

sleeping and knows when he’s they’re

awake but regardless this Saturday come

on by we’ll get you some beer we’ll get

you some Molly we’re gonna like you know

it’s kind of a party that like never

stops you know what I mean

I mean it does stop at 7:30 a.m. yes so

that’s sort of the vibe going on Santa’s

lap and at 4:00 a.m. and then you sit on

Santa’s lap and you say hey you got

these shoes but they don’t fit quite

right

and he goes oh I could exchange those

and then you know he’ll take the shoes

yeah you know whatever after that I

don’t know I’m in charge of it well okay

well who so I guess DJ Dylan’s in charge

of it well I mean doctor wanted you

you’re Santa okay

no I’m so I’m dr. London smith.com I

know you’ve mistaken me for other people

before we can we talk in private again

away from the audience okay dr. London I

know that I know that you are not

literally Santa but in this instance you

were playing Jeff Bezos slash Santa for

our annual event oh okay I the thing is

you talked about scheduling a costume is

this confusing

well now the part that’s confusing to me

is that you said this is what worked out

with everyone’s schedule to go this

Saturday after Christmas from 4:00 a.m.

to 7:30 a.m. that that’s what worked for

everyone it sounds like the Santa you I

was never asked say if I’m free on like

at that time why would I ask you about

your schedule you think I don’t know

your schedule well I I can tell you that

I had plans to be asleep for those hours

on Saturday not anymore

did you check your schedule yeah I mean

I make my schedule so that’s I would

suggest checking another look at your

schedule because there might be

something there from 4 to 7:30 on

Saturday anyway we’re just going in

circles here this Saturday

DJ Dylan’s basement bring all your gifts

back and also and so you’re trying to

bring kids and for this right the

children yeah sure so so probably the

whole idea of having Molly and beer and

everything that that probably won’t

appeal to them so much unless we’re

talking like maybe root beer all right

well that’s not our responsibility of

who gets what you know gas stations

aren’t like oh well you know kids might

come in here so we can’t have beer

around yeah I guess just advertising it

sounds like it you’re trying to

advertise to children well which I guess

you’ve mentioned this that this is how

we have our guitar podcast how do you

get children in you appeal to their

parents what’s the Pixar methodology

okay all right well I don’t we pride for

workshops on these details but I guess

for the sake of the advertisement it’s

all on the schedules okay so to our

listeners check out DJ Dylan’s basement

this Saturday you know after Christmas

in the morning for three and a half

hours from 4:00 to 7:30 a.m. and you

know maybe I’ll be there okay

Cameron you said that we have a very

important guest today we absolutely do

dr. London

one of our most important yet hi would

you like to come on the show thank you

for having me on thank you for coming

all this way and I’m very nervous

because what I’ve got to say is a little

alarming before we get into that why

don’t want to you tell dr. London and

our audience who you are and and where

you come from give us a little

background info okay my family is

originally from the South Pole I’m a

southern elf oh nice

do you have you seen a lot of polar

bears don’t they or penguins I don’t

remember which ones the South Pole thing

now we know where we lived there was no

animal life around us well doctor one do

you have any questions for our guests

yeah okay so what um what brings you to

the podcast what brings you on here well

can’t you kind of drop some truth bombs

on all of you guys already for what I

had to say it’s not it’s not about dr.

London is it because I’ve been

suspecting some things for like a long

time not that I’m aware of now okay okay

good good good oh good great great okay

yeah yeah so let’s hear these truth

bombs so I have been working in the

North Pole since I was a young child

unfortunately I stand to the highers

well not really hires but forces into

working every elf eligible age and that

age is unfortunately three years old oh

my gosh wait so your family’s from the

South Pole but Santa’s all the way up in

the North Pole so did he came to your

home and I mean we did he hire you or

what’s going on well he came down to the

South Pole and he was promising my daddy

job security he was promising my bad

a jolly work environment he was

promising my daddy all the carrots that

he could eat because we love carrots

yeah as LM sorry of course I have a

question here how old was your father

than was was he over three years old

then my father was 16 years old at the

time

why now 16 and this is how long ago

thirty years thirty years okay and I so

I have a follow-up question here because

you said working age for an Alf was

three years old and I’m not familiar

with elf anatomy and physiology yeah

well it’s just not like I specialize

more in human anatomy and physiology if

that makes sense

it’s 2020 and you can’t be throwing

around terms like elf and human how

about treat everyone equally a little

bit okay I’m just because like the same

way that I don’t know a polar bear might

mature at a different rate physically

from a human I’m just an animal to you

well what I’m saying is that I don’t I

didn’t want to tell my story people like

you I’m so sorry

yeah it’s his judgmental attitude dr.

London what are you getting at what I’m

wondering is are you sort of physically

an adult by the age of three do you you

know progress through infancy toddler

adolescence at an increased rate

compared to a human because for humans

three years old would be far too young

to even be capable of working does that

make sense

all right average lifespan in the health

community is seven hundred years so you

do the math well so so three for you is

like basically fresh out of the womb

that’s like being a second old

Wow dr. Lennon she’s talking about child

labour well and you’re here trying to

figure out the growth rate of elves what

are you doing pay attention victim

shaming well and I’m sorry if it came

across that way I was more wondering

just on the practical and why you they

would want you to work at that age

because it sounds like it’s too young to

even be able to work that’s your concern

about this situation is the logistics

that’s you see children working in a

factory and you’re concerned about the

efficiency of the job I’ve just never

seen that young of a person physically

little little seven year olds making

iPhones in another country you look at

that situation and say well you know

they could be exporting a lot more

iPhones if they had gotten some

professionals in here methinks you’re

missing the point good sir so you were

saying that a good laugh he said you

come up to the North Pole I’ll make you

manager over the hammer toys and he was

promising to my daddy all this stuff and

he was really thinking about it and then

we there started to be a little bit of a

change when my daddy was kind of

thinking he wasn’t gonna go we started

to feel like we needed to get on his

sleigh and go with him or we would

regret it

father what what did he what did he do

to make you feel mmm it sure would be

bad if my friend dear obliterated this

whole village of all your family get on

my sleigh I would hate to see the

carnage that you would experience the

exact same stuff with me he says oh if

you don’t stop doing that I’m gonna call

the police

well Cameron that’s whenever you you

have pull a gun well at a park with

children like there’s a playground for

those situations I do threaten to call

the police because I don’t want to okay

but what was I doing with the gun well

you were you were showing a child how it

worked and how to take it apart no we

were playing cops and robbers okay I

guess I didn’t

regardless you had a gun and gave one to

the child as well which I guess well

yeah I’m not gonna play with some like

kiddie fake stuff well so I look at old

a kiddie fake thing would be good for

the child but in any case bringing a gun

and playing with kids with a gun is

unsafe and so that’s why I had to call

the police

well I threatened to and then talked you

down after you ran away anyway back to

yeah you talked me down from that tree

that was so up so high up in that tree

and I was waving my gun around and I was

gonna start shooting some of the robbers

and caught me down from it anyway I

don’t I’m not mad anymore whatever okay

yeah we can go back to okay so Santa was

threatening I guess in a similar manner

to the way that I was threatening to

call the police

Santa was threatening to obliterate your

family or your communities what it

sounds like but is are we talking about

rain reindeer stomping are we talking

about maybe reindeer piercing with

antlers or reindeer eating I don’t I

don’t know

I don’t really know what the logistics

are here of the obliteration mm-hmm

reindeer are magical creatures so it’s

as far as your imagination can take it

I saw our witness things that I would

never in a million years be able to

describe did he carry out the threat

then the second week got on the sleigh

he closed the door he said we’re on our

way and before that happened he let the

reindeer loose and they completely

obliterated my entire village everyone

that didn’t get on the sleigh

my uncle champi okay ah such Wow it’s

like Sodom and Gomorrah almost and so

whenever you say that it’s whatever your

imagination says did you close your eyes

and then the reindeer did something or

did each person see the reindeer do

something else magical to destroy the

village there were just so many things I

saw stomping I saw piercing some lasers

coming out of their eyes it’s probably

read off you don’t even know what else

read off came my gosh can he make

himself really big like this like the

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and

Ghostbusters and then just kind of like

stomp on everything around the city like

he’s Godzilla well what I saw him doing

was roasting

oh gosh he was insulting people oh

that’s so telling about he was told him

that their mom was so fat that the

they’re like maybe her like maybe her

come on Cameron you got this like maybe

her shoe size is the like yeah we’re

like a like a it would it would like

fill up Tallahassee yeah okay so so man

the reindeer roasted people to death

where’s the gift for us oh wow I’m sorry

I said people I guess elves so different

than people from what I understand Wow

[Music]

I’m about to Lok Twitter your app if you

don’t watch it true colors I guess this

is it this is I guess what I signed on

to be with okay well I’m sorry I didn’t

mean it to to sound like I’m being

prejudiced it’s just that there is sound

prejudice but you just can’t help it it

just pours out of you

oh there’s obviously difference these

two things are obviously not equal okay

interesting it’s just interesting that’s

all clumpy what else can you tell us

about the situation going on well but

these work environments you’re talking

well in the progression of what happened

because so Santa flew your family to the

North Pole and then you started working

right around and we’ve not stopped

leavin never been able to stop sense

what do you mean like you work every day

are you saying you don’t even stop to

sleep there’s very little sleep

happening very little eating very little

poop breaks oh my gosh I’m working this

is just my tiny act of making these toys

every single day of the year and then

Santa comes whatever he’s standing over

me he whispers in my ear oh oh I smell

the peppermint on his breath right now

it stings oh that is thank you so so

Santa makes sort of inappropriate

comments to you not just to me any radio

elf oh wow I’m so sorry to hear that

well I mean what are you suggesting here

Pompey I’m here to expose Santa for the

perverted fat he really is

oh wow yeah I’d never oh my gosh that

wait and so that’s the reason it’s not

so much the what sounds like borderline

genocide that he committed it’s the the

perversion that to me to you

it all leads out to the person Santa

really is and I’m ready for everyone

tonight so I don’t I don’t think that

most people pray to Santa oh sorry

you know more than the elf that’s

sitting in front of us about this no

this is where you feel like you have an

area of expertise on you had never heard

of people praying about praying to Santa

until earlier in this episode well like

10 minutes ago

well I would think that an anger man

splaining to an elf well I feel like an

elf would not be as aware of what people

away from Santa would be doing do you

see what I mean if you’re if you’re so

close to the the man in question Santa

then you know you wouldn’t even feel the

need to pray or not pray do you see what

I mean anyway it just sort of sounds

like you made up rules to fit a specific

scenario so you won’t be wrong

okay well it’s his naughty and nice yes

through their prayers oh so so you’re

saying that he can hear their prayers he

sits in front of a portal with his Liz

as he’s checking it to us and all these

words are flying out of the portal and

it’s their prayers to him and he he he

feeds on them and then he can tell who’s

naughty and who’s nice but how bad his

stomach hurts

oh he feeds on our prayers to him that’s

how we can tell he’s my

ah that’s sick yeah this does sound very

disconcerting it’s not what you thought

it’s not the songs that you guys saying

and Cameron brought up earlier one of

the songs that we sang that you guys put

a jolly twist on it he sees you when

you’re sleeping he knows when you’re

awake this is a warning so that’s more

of like a song of terror to you it’s a

warning for you guys to figure out who

you’re messing with

who your snail mailing who you’re

allowing your kids to communicate with

via snail mail and prayers it’s just

like how how how people think that mr.

Sandman song from the 50s is is all cute

you know mr. Sandman bring me a dream

make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen

who was this Sandman Erin got home are

you sleep well could it actually be the

Santa ma’am

Santa you think that 50s song mr.

Sandman is mr. Santa man I just well

that I never drew the connection before

but if you’re saying that they’re

remarkably similar in sort of

characterization they keep up dr. London

okay sorry I get maybe I missed

something there any K so why don’t you

ask something important okay so so

clumpy what can we do to help you there

we go yeah with this problem be like

aside from we’re already trying to bring

awareness to it and it’s you know it’s

this I guess in part you know part of

the me to movement we’re trying to bring

awareness to to issues like perversion

and with with men and power and so this

magical being in power apparently is is

one of these people who abuse the power

so what can we

due to fight this you said don’t pray to

him very well said dr. London yeah so so

we we shouldn’t pray to him got that I I

never did but what what else can we do

dr. London you only asked her what do we

need to do four times

could we get a fifth go ahead I’m sorry

I I was just trying to clearly state it

in such a way and provide more examples

and illustrations no it’s great for the

podcast yeah we can we can edit that out

if that seems excessive to you I was

just trying to get it well if you’re I

mean are you gonna edit it later I’m

sorry well I DJ Dylan I don’t know if if

that’s nope I’m sorry okay

[Music]

well now I don’t want to ask again

because you’ve made it into a whole

thing but let me ask an important

question okay clumpy you’ve ever written

one of the reindeer no we’re terrified

of the reindeer are you kidding me after

I’ve seen what thank you do oh you would

not want those in your community if you

really saw that they can do you would be

pooping your pants every second of the

night and day your lucky stars that they

are kept in a place where they cannot

escape because they would immediately

come to your house and eat you alive

while you’re pooping every second of the

day yes sounds awful but hear me out

because I do have an idea here okay what

if we can utilize this sort of infinite

reindeer power against your slave master

man that’ll never happen there under his

spell if we were to separate them from

Santa they would just turn into the

regular old reindeer that you see with

no powers at all they’re they’re using

his power

oh they’re harnessing his magic his get

too far away they immediately transform

back no so what okay

so then let me ask

can we do to help you I need every

person on earth to immediately form an

army and go against Santa in the North

Pole

we will meet in Siberia Russia bring a

coat bring Spears bring fire okay this

is okay I have been saying stuff like

this for a long time and I’ve got some

ideas of stuff we can do after we deal

with your thing

this is great dr. London this sounds

exactly like the stuff I’ve been telling

you right yeah I know

well because okay Cameron has been

stockpiling fire that has been his big

thing he has a fire that he puts into a

room and he’s like okay I’ll come back

and add more and then there’s always

this issue that he he comes back and the

fire goes out and he’s like who stole my

entire yeah and so so then you go and I

get you try to chase down whoever took

your fire and like so that’s been those

phone calls have been tough to deal with

oh well they’re tough for me it’s not

easy but any I mean this moment this I

mean Christmas militia that’s what we’re

gonna call it right oh it’s the war on

Christmas okay I mean it’s not a war on

Christmas it’s a war on Santa to restore

the sanctity of Christmas okay I so the

issue that logistically it just seems

difficult to to get every person on the

planet to the North Pole at all much

less for the purpose of warfare oh so if

it’s difficult we shouldn’t even try

okay well I guess that’s how many more

people can there be but total there’s 16

people uh well we do have a lot more

people than that I mean we it we have

like 300 400 people in the world

at least that’s are just a couple real

millions well that’s one it’s there

actually Billy

of people in the world and so that’s why

I say like logistically this might be

difficult to do because not only do we

have to get them all to go fight this

war but we have to persuade them that

fighting that war is a good idea

like so there are so many steps in the

process there’s billions of birds Oh

Billy enhance there’s not billions of

people working like humans oh you’re

thinking of elves know how many elves

are there roar is baffling in the Kuhns

[Music]

Wow

just like us no okay there are a lot of

people in the world so Cameron one thing

that I know you struggle with is the

fact that if you can’t see something you

don’t necessarily believe that it’s

there at a given time

like so so if you like have you ever

been to a stadium where they’re playing

sports and you see all those seats

filled up so all of those people exist

thousands and so imagine all over this

country and all over the world they can

fill up stadiums like that with so many

people so it’s it’s just so many people

yeah it’s the same group of people and

so it is logistically you’ve got to move

them from football game to football game

sure but that’s everyone okay well I was

only it’s different groups depending on

what we’re talking about but okay so

let’s say let’s say clumpy that we

managed to recruit every person in the

world all you know the billions of them

we get them all to Santa with fire and

Spears and they how would we go about

fighting him if he’s so powerful and if

the reindeer can just obliterate us

there’s very little chance

it’s almost like we would be like ants

biting the Giants toe but we have but we

have to try this magical being has to be

stopped

one way or the other so you’re saying

that the plan of yours you don’t think

will work and it’s just we will try but

it’s it’s a fool’s errand basically like

any good militia it’s a suicide mission

okay I would think like a good militia

would actually be like efficient and

strategize and use resources wisely does

that make sense really you need the

motivation of it being like that’s crazy

you can never do that it’s a suicide

mission

you need that motivation to become the

underdog and win dr. London this is how

it works I I think in some movies it

works that look it we look think of it

practically we’re never gonna have the

resources to take down this evil monster

but that doesn’t mean we can’t try right

ru look look at Klump ease phase look

her in the eyes right now okay they’re

they’re kind of they’re different shape

than what I’m used to and you you you

tell her that you’re not gonna sit

you’re you tell her that you’re not

gonna stand up for her rights tell her

tell her that okay well so that’s why I

was asking is there a way that we can do

it within sort of like what can I do

individually I guess that’s the better

question it sounds like get a gun and

get some fire is that about right I was

gonna say pop a bubble chocolate oh yeah

okay well if that’s that sounds like

about where we’re gonna leave it here

we could probably we can probably end

with that

so I guess to our listeners if you feel

inspired to follow clumpy on this

journey

me too attack Santa then you are

I guess free to find yourself some fire

and Spears and I guess you’re going to

camera a gun and put on a coat meet in

Siberia Russia and go towards Santa does

that and will be a fool’s errand you’ll

be like an ant attacking a giant does

that make sense

that sounds almost it’s almost near

suicide it sounds like okay that’s the

inspiration we need to keep going okay

all right well well copy is there

anything else you want to say any final

[Music]

please I will be there dr. London will

be there and we are going to deal with

this monster wait clumpy okay if that’s

sort of the game plan here I guess we

can leave our listeners and Cameron with

that I don’t know that I will personally

make an appearance there but I wish you

well so thank you clumpy for being on

the show for being on the no good yep

that’s the main thing that’s taken down

tyranny in this world is wishing people

well that’s helped a lot of people okay

so yeah thank you too clumpy thank you

to just I wish you well dr. London thank

you to our producer Cameron it’s really

frustrating how insensitive dr. Wanda

knows things he said during the

interview were just inappropriate and

rude but I know he meant well because I

don’t know it’s just hard for me to be

mad at him during Christmas time camera

thought to himself but he couldn’t be

mad at dr. London because he knew at the

end of the episode which is right now

dr. London was going to give Cameron

65 million dollars in tech decks and

tech deck accessories like the halfpipe

okay so Cameron I did get you something

for Christmas

oh really oh I’m so excited for this oh

yes yes oh I know you’re an avid stamp

collector uh-huh yeah you collect the

kind for letters and then you also

collect the kind that you like stamped

with wax and sort of the the footprints

left after an animal stamps down yeah

yeah yeah yeah so I got you this stamp

and so this one is is that conventional

kind of four letters so you can put on

your postage and you can mail something

and I I bought you

twenty of these so you can mail about

money letters

oh well dr. lemon that’s very very sweet

yeah thank you very thank you so much

now let me see what you got me over here

all the other gifts you got me let me

let me start opening them up okay no

that’s it’s 65 million dollars worth of

tech deck stuff Oh dr. London you

shouldn’t have this is exactly what I

did you use my money to buy all that dr.

London these are your presents to me

see I didn’t agree the force of your as

your as your producer I’m in charge of

your Christmas shopping see no you’re

not though that’s and also you didn’t

use my personal card for that right well

what’s the difference so mine I don’t

want to have to declare bankruptcy

that’s that’s my issue here okay so

we’re gonna have to return all of those

but I got you these stamps Wow these

what really are the nicest stamps I ever

had and when I can get them with 65

million dollars worth of tech tech stuff

it’s safe to say this might be the best

Christmas ever

[Applause]

okay we are like we’re gonna have to

return that all right and thank you too

did you do the hose

[Music]

I’m about to Lok Witter Europe if you

don’t watch it this has been the jock

podcast it’s that time of year the milk

and cookies are out and the chimney

appears harmless to the naked eye

neither Santa Nora’s willing servants

would even suspect the fireball that is

ready to ignite and obliterate

everything in that chimney at the very

moment that a fat foreign body enters

its domain though we here at the jock

dock podcast do not tolerate acts of

violence we cannot help but admire such

ingenuity and if you admire the jock

Dawg podcast in return you should go on

and open up your podcast app and write a

five star review of the jock Dawg

podcast in which you detail the traps

that you have set for the jovial

overweight men in your life and don’t

forget to spread the cheer by texting

your favorite episode of the podcast to

a friend or just message them are handy

website jock doc podcast com if that’s

easier and you know what I think I think

just a piece of paper with our URL would

be a great gift for this Christmas

season

oh yes could you imagine I don’t know

could you imagine as a kid just waking

up where you go up Christmas morning and

you’ve run downstairs and run to the

Christmas tree you open up a big old

gift and it says chalk talk podcast calm

that sounds so nice oh I would cry it’s

the gift that arguably keeps on giving

oh that’s the thing you if you give your

kid a video game they’re gonna play

through that video game they’re gonna

beat that video game they’re gonna break

it they’re gonna break the video game

well yeah because they’re gonna break it

because they hate it so hate it cuz it’s

nothing compared to what they

yeah which was our jock docpods podcast

an an hour episode sometimes ish every

single week yes and we love to hear from

you guys about your children’s love for

the podcast about your love for it maybe

so don’t forget to follow us on social

media we are at Jacques Dog podcast

lastly I should just throw in this word

of caution please do not spring any of

your tramp traps for Santa though we

appreciate the effort we also want

presents next year that that for us is

kind of a significant ordeal personally

as long as those presents are a piece of

paper with the Jock Doc Podcast URL on it

yeah oh and also if you just could go

ahead into your workplace to to anywhere

around and set JockDocPodcast.com as

your homepage oh yeah maybe maybe if

you’re at a Circuit City or something

like that’s very important maybe if

you’re at a if you’re at a bar with your

friends and your friends say hey can you

take a picture of us maybe not even

friends maybe strangers real quick open

up the iTunes or the podcasting app

whichever app it’s on what which Apple

podcasts the Apple Podcast app open it

up go to the Jock Doc Podcast throw

in a five star review and then just

throw that phone on the ground yeah you

want to step on and run away as fast as

you can yeah all right thank you for

listening

[Music]

[Applause]

27: Infective Endocarditis/Michael Smith

Hello kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice if you need

medical advice or medical care please

contact your doctor

Welcome to the Jock Doc Podcast featuring

Dr. London Smith he’s got a PhD
And he’s spilling all the medical tea

introducing your host, Dr. London Smith
hello and welcome to

the jock doc podcast where we discuss

fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring I’m

your host Dr. London Smith (.com)

I’d like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we have received some

complaints regarding the abundance of

complicated medical terminology such as

catheter and season’s greetings so I

will try to tone that down in the future

here to help with that is our producer

Cameron hi dr. London hello in his

ambition to make this podcast as

relevant as possible to the average

listener Cameron has been building what

he describes as an advanced hearing

machine which he has refused to show me

but he tells me that it’s actually very

advanced so Cameron are we ready for

that big reveal not ready for the reveal

yet but I do want to clarify it is an

advanced hearing machine like it sounds

very advanced I don’t know what it’s

capable of yet but when you turn it on

the the beeps and the Boop’s it starts

making is it sound okay so you don’t

does it do anything that’s yet to be

determined

okay but it does make sounds oh the most

advanced sounds you can feel like you’re

in 2026 based on sounds yeah that’s how

just far in the future 2026 okay Wow the

World Cup you know yeah I guess I guess

that’s exciting

okay also with this is did you do the

house

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

good one all right

and later Cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest so look forward

to that that’s right not going good

before we move on I would like to

address a bit of listener feedback quote

Diane I think the ribs have gone bad I

hate the ones with the Telos ace and now

my stomach hurts call dr. Sanderson sir

end quote

first of all thank you so much for

reaching out to us here at the jock Dawg

podcast we appreciate your feedback and

will strive to address it as helpfully

as possible although my name is not dr.

Sanderson what you’re describing it

sounds like it could be just an upset

stomach sometimes it helps to sort of

sit back and drink a carbonated beverage

but if symptoms worsen or you develop a

fever or other change in vital signs you

should contact your doctor so you can be

professionally evaluated in person once

again thank you for your question are

you sure are you sure she’s trying to

reach a dr. Sanderson or do you think

maybe her phone autocorrected Sandman

because I have been selling you as the

kind of doctor of dreams

Oh mr. Sandman I’ve been I’ve been doing

a lot of advertising kind of pushing

that angle that I’m like a sleep doctor

well so many of your patients don’t ever

wake up again so I have to assume that

you’re sort of a Sandman kind of figure

and so there’s been a whole lot of like

posters and billboards that I’ve put up

over the last couple weeks of you know

you and a big sleeping cap and you’re

kind of like yawning real big but you’re

like sprinkling sand on top of people

and then they’re fallen over okay well

so my patients your definition so they

leave the clinic but they do come back

like I know for you you just don’t see

them again if you happen to be at the

clinic uh-huh

but that doesn’t mean they don’t wake up

if I tell them like you know make sure

to get rest good I’m saying a lot of

your patients you I never I don’t see

them wake up is what I’m trying to say

well do you expect do you watch them

well no I mean I wish they would maybe

come over to my place why is it all on

me to track them well I guess that’s the

point I’m making here is that it’s not

like that’s not your responsibility and

assuming that they aren’t waking up from

their sleep that’s kind of a bold

assumption to make just based on the

fact that you haven’t seen them I’m

clearly helping your business here dr.

London you’ve got patients already here

contacting you online that’s okay that’s

true I mean is this can this be like a

beggars can’t be choosers type thing

okay well yeah in any case thank you I

guess for the marketing thank you yeah

and and thank you for the compensation

but what what what compensation will the

room what room are you talking about the

room I live in in your house now we’re

rooming you signed a contract when you

were asleep which I assumed was part of

your whole bit because your doctor

Sandman now the the bit that I’m that

that you made up without my knowledge

well I expected you to see the

billboards and stuff and kind of figure

things out sorry that I have to hold

your hand through everything okay well

then I guess that brings up another

question where are these billboards cuz

I haven’t seen them oh they’re in mostly

like Taos New Mexico okay yeah we’re not

based there well yeah but I figure at

some point you’re gonna be there I put

them up two weeks ago I have to sit

around and wait forever for you to go to

Taos okay well thank you okay well we

put your bad I’m sorry what was that

just let me sleep at the foot of your

bed no I it’s in the

on track we’ll figure out the sleeping

arrangements later okay and now for a

tale from the pediatric clinic we had a

family in the room because there was a

pediatric clinic with multiple siblings

so there’s the whole family and it is

often easier to assess all of them

together and all in a row so when I

asked the youngest of the patients their

age the patient replied I’m four and

five very enthusiastically we ask basic

questions about age school and

friendships – pediatric patients in

order to strain for warning signs for

possible illness looking at their chart

I could confirm that a patient was five

years old but he had had a birth date

that week when I repeated the question

the patient’s parents tried to explain

that the patient had asked their age a

few days before and they had given the

patient’s age as both four and five

around the actual birth date however the

patient whenever I asked again just

became more emphatic I’m four and five

I’m four and five so I finally decided

to let them hash this little issue out

on their own what did you get them I’m

sorry get them yeah for their birthday I

guess a clean bill of health

okay well I I didn’t have a present for

them but I but you just said it was

their birth so you you saw a five year

old you saw a kid turned five and you

would just push them to the ground and

say here’s your clean bill of health

well we we do give stickers get up and

stop crying maybe a lollipop or

something – uh-huh

nothing for deny related nothing like

one of those likes wiffle skateboard

things that were popular seven years ago

nothing like that

hmm no dr. London neither of those this

is why your taxes need to be raised to

99.999% so no five year olds are left

behind

okay Dex okay well we can go ahead and

move on from there will that kid be able

to move on knowing that he turned five

and his doctor didn’t even give him a

single tech tech halfpipe I feel like

that’s money 20

this is this is my whole tax thing Tech

Deck halfpipes for every family this is

the platform I’m running on oh you’re

running well have I not announced this

yet

I don’t think so yeah I’m running for

everything for whatever whoo whatever

will take me wait for office any office

yeah okay comptroller treasurer

mayor president 2020 doesn’t matter

we’re getting tech tax because you

hadn’t mentioned being on a track team

yeah I’m running for the track team as

well okay 2020 oh you’re waiting until

2020 to run that though well yeah

something likes me right now for you to

run on the track yeah it’s on Olympic

year either you know my favorite sports

the Olympics that’s that’s sure I do

know that okay well we’ll go ahead and

move on from there yeah yeah yeah now

for today’s medical topic infective and

no carditis

infective endocarditis is an infection

of the endocardial surface of the heart

meaning the inside surfaces like the

cusps of the valves in general you would

suspect infective endocarditis in a

patient with a new heart murmur and

unexplained a fever or bacteremia and

bacteremia refers to bacteria in the

blood stream to made I’m sorry did you

just say mmm it was just like a general

agreement okay I thought we don’t need

to stop the podcast every time I make a

slight noise it sounded like you were

saying like you were hungry whenever I

said blood stream I’m gonna be both

things isn’t that the beauty of language

I guess okay so to to aid in diagnosis

physicians will often use a

transesophageal echo

cardiogram which is when they take an

ultrasound view of the heart by going

down the throat diagnosis uses the dupe

wait a second are you told me there’s a

baby inside my heart no no I’m not but

you just said about taking an ultrasound

are you dr. London am I gonna am I gonna

be a father

okay for one thing I’m not taking no

true scent of your heart okay

I’m saying this is if someone has

infective endocarditis okay then we

would use a transesophageal

echocardiogram which uses the same

technology of an ultrasound like what

they used to see the baby the fetus and

in the belly of the pregnant woman right

so they use that device don’t get done

before a baby what was that

just how am I gonna afford a baby no so

I I do not believe that you can

physiologically become pregnant I don’t

think I’m gonna have to cut up my straw

budget your straw yeah I’ve been

spending $35,000 a year on straws ever

since people started painting them I’m

trying to kind of monopolize that market

oh you mean plastic straws yes you know

it’s become sort of a when I say become

I mean in the last like four years it’s

become sort of a point of contention a

lot of restaurants don’t want to use

plastic straws anymore maybe they’re

switching to something a little more

biodegradable so I started hoarding them

because you think that you’ll be able to

sell this to the highest bidder

yes no I mean not the highest bidder but

I mean I if straws are scarce it’s just

simple supply and demand I can start

selling straws for five ten bucks apiece

I don’t I feel like that won’t work so

well I just said it was supply and

demand and now I’m gonna have to cut out

that 36 thousand dollar a year budget

I’m gonna have a baby

Oh God dr. London can we can you take

care of them no okay

a few things here I don’t think that you

know you’re one of those doctors that

you are pregnant or that you can become

pregnant I think both of those are off

the table right now yeah you’re you’re

the type of doctor who you say if you if

you feel a baby in your heartbeat then

that means it’s it has life that’s so

you’re refusing refusing to help a bro

out I’m not giving an opinion on that

one way or another all I’m saying is

that you homie we’re roommates I sleep

at the foot of your bed I abort the baby

in my heart right now

dr. London well well go ahead and move

on from there okay so so diagnosis uses

the Duke criteria which takes into

account some smaller findings as well as

patient history and treatment is based

on which organism is causing the

infection of infective endocarditis and

that is also discovered via history as

well as blood cultures physical signs

and various other attributes so it’s a

you said it’s a disease or something

caused by an organism infective

endocarditis is okay so is this like

when I got sick after drinking that

whole organism milk you milked a whole

organism no you just go to the store you

know you have your your regular generic

brand milk and then you’ve got your

whole milk

that’s organism milk okay no that isn’t

um that that milk doesn’t cause

infective endocarditis if that’s your

question okay I just wondered if that

infection was caused by that but I’d

never mind I don’t I don’t suspect that

you either and a half like is my hands

supposed to do this is it supposed to

bend that way or like gush that way

neither nor here I would protect you

for a second I’m gonna gush it real

quick okay I’m pretty sure that’s from

the milk well there is milk mixed in

with it what but you need to go see a

doctor I live with the dog my roommates

a doctor now I sleep at the foot of his

bed okay well let’s let’s move on all

right Cameron do we have a sponsor today

[Music]

well dr. Linda we don’t really have a

sponsor today but I thought maybe we

could take this opportunity to catch up

it’s the holidays we’ve been both been

pretty busy

you know we just had Thanksgiving and

Christmas is right around the corner you

know I’ve been extremely busy over the

last couple weeks planning for and then

executing this last weekend

jocke con con I wasn’t aware of that

drunk con con that’s a joke doc con

convention that’s because you’re a con

artist

[Applause]

oh yeah jock con con so this is a

convention based on for our podcast for

our fans but celebrating specifically

that I’m a con artist yes that’s just

part of the what it’s easier to convince

people to come when you’re upfront with

them about who you are it’s just it’s

just an honesty it’s an integrity thing

I know you wouldn’t know much about that

but I I guess I don’t know that doesn’t

seem like it would bring people in if

they think it’s a con artist doctor

convention well I mean it brought in a

crowd it brought in a ton of people

our fans oh so we do have people coming

in oh yeah okay the convention was this

last weekend was a huge success

I can play clips from it oh wait you

already had it yeah no it was this last

weekend I was I guess this is all making

a little more sense I thought you would

be there yeah again I guess I did put

most of the billboards in Taos New

Mexico so and was a convention also

in New Mexico no that was it was only in

northern Minnesota okay yeah I guess

play a clip from it then yeah okay here

let me load it up real quick

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

what’s that are you sure this was the

convention oh yeah it sounds like a

concert no no no we had we had I mean we

had Jimmy Kimmel emceeing and we had the

one and only it is a Lea performing Wow

so that doesn’t sound to me like we had

games we had we had speakers I spoke at

a few of the you know sessions did you

mean to play another clip

i I guess maybe it’ll make more sense

and that was part of my session my

afternoon sessions that was used it

didn’t sound like you speaking no I mean

so I did I did a couple you know

sessions like I said I did one on kind

of podcasting I did one on you know

contentious relationships and maybe how

to work with people with roommates that

you kind of struggle to connect with I

did sort of how to acquire a lot of

money from people within the medical

field do me to know like a clip from

that session can you play a clip for me

real quick how the crowd is losing it

I don’t that like that that was just

that was just Thursday night that

doesn’t sound like the content of our

podcast when it was the content of the

jock dock con con yeah and you would

think that it would reflect some of the

podcasts but it sounds like it was just

the song fancy well I would say I would

say like maybe a lot of our content

sounds like fancy by Iggy Azalea oh how

many pop how many episodes of this

podcast have we done like a hundred and

like 32 or whatever I think we’re we’re

in the 20s right like 620 like 5 or

whatever every time I try to listen to

this podcast

like I remember recording it but then I

put it on and it goes I’m so fancy you

already know and I’m like I don’t

remember recording this but this month

this is the episode do you do you think

that you possibly just like have fancy

on repeat somewhere I don’t I mean I

think I just download the episode and

then I hit play and it goes boom boom

boom

I do this every Monday morning get in my

car on the right way to work boom boom

boom boom boom boom first things first

I’m the realest I knew every time you’ve

thought this is the podcast that I’m on

rather than it’s so weird how you know

we record these episodes and I must I

must just forget what it sounds like ly

what what we even did because I don’t

even remember most of this stuff

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

let me say that people loved it and

that’s it that’s my recap all right well

hopefully that I guess that hopefully

Jacques doc con con brought in more

listeners hopefully oh I hope so and be

ready be on the lookout for the

information for dot-com con 20/20 all

right well I guess thank you for

organizing that yep all right I guess

that’s it all right

Cameron you said that uh that we have a

guest today we absolutely do dr. London

okay sweet hello there hi hello can you

help me maybe well my name is dr. London

smith.com

this is Cameron or producer dr. luyt

London you had said you wanted more

guests who were in distress right no I

said well dressed like we want to have a

dress code kind of starting up now okay

so you can’t help me because I was

really confused by all the ads they kept

sending me to different places and I I

need help with my problem and I thought

you could help but I guess not I I’m not

dressed that well okay no it’s it’s all

right if you’re not well dressed that

was just something we’re trying to well

here let’s get him a jacket let’s get

him a blazer you know like they do

sometimes that restaurants if you’re not

dressed up to code

okay so let’s get him a blazer yeah okay

let’s put this on okay I think I think

you’re good now now is he up to your

your standards dr. London he’s your

wealthy rich person standards are we

good like a fancy restaurant now I don’t

know if it’s comfortable can this person

get help from a doctor now dr. London

I’m sorry well beau is your name sir

Michael Michael Smith Michael Michael

Smith okay well next religion says that

he believes in the universal health care

but only for people who can afford a

watch over $10,000 look if you can’t

tell the time on a baby that looks like

this then you don’t need that penicillin

see that’s what was really confusing

about the ads because some of them said

free health care and then other ones

said not free health care like literally

and I mean I I went with the ones that

said free health care and now I’m here

but I don’t know

wait so some of the signs specifically

said not free health care very

specifically there were two billboards

and one said with three health care and

one said without Cameron was that your

doing yeah you given me mixed signals

over here man I don’t know wait I don’t

know what’s going on anymore so I kind

of just cover all my bases

all right well mr. uh mr. Smith I guess

it’s nice to meet another Smith I guess

what what seems to be your problem

what’s troubling you

well I can’t sleep and I’m constantly

hot and then cold and my muscles hurt

okay well I’m sorry for that so I would

say this sounds like a reason to go to a

doctor like to go to your primary care

physician and establish care do you have

a doctor that you go to and sorry to

interrupt but anytime you hear dr.

London say stuff like that you can sort

of just imagine a chi-ching chi-ching

change that’s what he’s thinking of he’s

trying to you know get every last dime

from you and I was still confused on the

free healthcare

it’s very I’m not sure I understand this

oh wait is art okay I don’t have a

doctor they all left me in less away

they left me were they did you mean you

were fired as a patient

no they left me they came in and then

left and never came back

oh my gosh Oh like a home visit no like

in their office I’d be sitting in the

room in a gown with the back and tired

like they said and then I they’d come in

and they’d stand there and then they

leave and they wouldn’t even say that

they wanted me to go so I would just

wait there and then 20 hours later I’m

still awake and the janitor is like what

are you doing here bud Wow what what is

the longest amount of time you’ve been

stuck in a doctor’s office like this

with these horrible men just abandoning

you well I women on Wednesday before

Thanksgiving and nobody came back till

Monday so I was just there awake in pain

I’m sorry to hear that

well I I get I hope that you still

manage to have a happy Thanksgiving they

had some cotton balls okay oh yeah yeah

I’m just very sorry to hear that have

you I guess sometimes medical staff and

doctors can be so busy throughout the

day that they forget to tell a patient

they can go home but usually at closing

time they tend to check the room I guess

this physician you went to hell are you

talking about dr. London this is a

person who was struggling with

incompetent doctors who don’t listen to

him we don’t take care of his needs and

now you’re just being like whoa

sometimes the medical stuff forgets

things sometimes help this man okay so

you said you’re having difficulty

sleeping I can’t sleep and I can’t my

head my temperature my body temperature

is constantly fluctuating and it’s

usually too hot and then it’s cold and

then I’m just my muscles all of my

muscles hurt and it hurts so much and I

thought you could help for free but

maybe I was wrong I don’t know I’m

unsure that my decision to contact you

was a wise one well here let’s make a

deal after this session

you’ll spin a wheel and the wheel will

have things like free health care or you

know one times health care two times

health care three times health care that

determines how much you’re supposed to

pay wait I’m so if I’m understanding

this right I spin the wheel to find out

how much I pay mm-hmm so you might give

free health care you might pay one times

the normal amount of health care you

might pay twice the amount of health

care three times five times how many

times is it possible to hit the free

health care well I mean that’s just it

you know this is like a Wheel of Fortune

type of wheel there’s one slot for free

health care and then there’s 99 other

slots of various other amounts but if

you get that free health care you’ll be

covered easy well I mean I guess

starting with no health care and

possibly getting health care is better

so I I guess I could spin yeah well I

should chime in here I I don’t agree to

these terms this doesn’t sound good to

me well what do you agree with dr.

London this is this you take an oath

yeah that the Hippocratic oath sure but

so we have a clinic I would say you

should actually go to the emergency room

if you have this problem or to your

primary care physician let them know but

with these muscle aches and pains have

you done any strenuous exercise lately

well I don’t

I went rock climbing like a month ago

but everything started before that and

it’s just gotten worse since okay so

you’ve you’ve had these symptoms for

over a month

how many months let’s see I was in the

doctor’s office the last two

Thanksgivings

12 maybe 13 so it you you’ve been

getting very little sleep and you have

muscle issues but you went rock climbing

a month ago well yeah I got like I said

oh no there it is

I got a second wind and I’m sorry I are

you follows me it follows me around it’s

this this it’s it’s in our community and

they it only happens here I’m sorry I

was hoping it wouldn’t happen whoa whoa

whoa what’s going on well it’s uh you

know like when people hear noises and

they think a house is haunted yeah I

live in one of those houses sometimes

it’s not a fun existence I have is this

like an it follows situation is it

something that if you were to ya know

screw on my way out of this one oh man

I’m sorry to hear that okay it sounds

like it’s let up for the moment

hopefully I think I don’t know we’ll see

it could be back so you say it this

thing follows you around what what is it

what does it look like well it’s mostly

noncorporeal and it’s usually missing

its legs and it’s sometimes complaining

about its muscles and how it gets no

sleep it’s a very confusing situation so

your your it sounds like you’re caught

in some sort of I don’t know like echo

sort of loop are you are you being

haunted by yourself I mean that’s what

my shrink that left me told me but they

left before we got to the last chapter

and I’m still very confused and

everything still hurts and I thought you

could help the last doctors do I’m sorry

the last chapter you know like the you

do therapy and your therapist tells you

all right we’re gonna make it through

all these chapters and when we get to

the last one you’ll be all better

but I think she was lying I’m not sure

it’s all very concerning I just need

help okay I got to know what so the what

are these chapters could you give me an

example of one of the chapters in this

this book this curriculum you’re going

through um well I mean there’s the one

from high school and there’s a lot of

pimples and a lot of rejection and then

there’s the one from medical school and

that is short and then I ended up where

I am now and this chapters been very

long I wanted to end okay so these are

like chapters in your life that’s sort

of the idea yeah okay and she said that

you have one more to go and you just

have him then then she left the room

left she got up and left her office and

left me in there and that was a sad

Valentine’s Day did you so you keep

saying these doctors and this therapist

they all leave their room well they all

leave is what you say but it just sounds

like they left the room like they’d left

that appointment have you ever thought

of going back to the same place for your

follow-up appointments I have but it’s

like they don’t even like listen to me I

don’t know I wish they listened but it’s

like they don’t they don’t even think

I’m there and it’s just I try to talk to

them and I try to go back and then when

I go back there’s other people in there

and I feel awkward going in and

interrupting oh so you just kind of walk

into other sessions and start talking

well that’s what it said to do on the

billboards yeah it’s true I’m Cameron

have you been advertising for clinics in

general oh yeah the success the success

of our billboards has led to a lot of

people sort of outsourcing their graphic

design to me and I’ve been taking that

same sort of approach with like very

specific instructions you tell them

not just to go to a given like clinic or

location but you also tell them how to

interact with the doctors there here’s

the Billboard terrified person persons

weeping it says something’s behind you

something’s following you you have to

run to dr. blanks office and barge right

in and talk yep and it worked right

didn’t get me too far but I mean it got

you through the door see Market Inc okay

it doesn’t sound it sounds more like a

trap and misleading oh it’s a trap

yeah wait hold on you’re telling me that

I’ve been wasting all of my time barging

into these buildings and demanding

treatment from people that actually they

can’t even see me you just knew yeah

yeah I mean it’s a trap the financial

trap it’s not like I’m no one no one’s

being kidnapped or anything like that

but we’re kind of getting you into an

uncomfortable situation and then kind of

insisting that you pay $50 just for

being there that’s awful and then we

split the profits okay well for one

thing this does sound immoral Cameron

and also what profits no it’s not

immobile at all it’s actually I mean

it’s in an RV

most of these offices that I’m doing

billboards for are very mobile no I I’m

sorry I should clarify not I wasn’t

referring to automobile or mobility I’m

referring to immoral like immorality

like good and evil yeah no it’s

definitely mobile okay but I’m also

saying like hold on do you sleep at

night um I mean I guess it depends on

the night I’ve definitely had my share

of you know kind of stayed out late

stayed up all night type of nights

that’s you know but like in the bad way

or like in the I stayed up too late

partying wait because it sounds like

you don’t deal with the problems that

the patient’s seeking the kind of help

that your advertising

need and so you can’t empathize with it

hmm in a bad way well so I actually just

switched these buckwheat hole pillows

they’re very hard they’re insanely hard

and that’s gonna be the best night’s

sleep in my entire life because you know

what aligns the back was that a

prescription oh no you anyone can get it

just go to Google buckwheat hole pillows

they’re so hard rock hard well we

shouldn’t advertise for them if they’re

not a sponsor probably well I’m trying

to get them as a sponsor I mean that’s

the whole point of all of us is to get

the buckwheat whatever to sponsor us yep

one way or the other and if it’s

tricking really sleepy people from

barging into offices and insisting on

rest that sounds like an effective way

to me and driving across the country as

well yeah you know which office did you

go to can I ask

I went to the one in towel yeah Mexico

yeah they were very angry first they

have them in Mexico as well as New

Mexico

no New Mexico it’s like Mexico but newer

okay next we go to really yeah I’m sorry

so help this man dr. London what are you

doing yeah I guess I’m just okay so just

so you know what we’re doing now this is

a podcasting studio so really this isn’t

really the place for me to treat you

you’d have to go to an actual clinic I’m

a billboard say to come here I I believe

your question has been answered by

Cameron’s I will say in his defense that

his skills are they appeared to be

present thank you dr. London this is all

I’ve wanted this entire time it’s more

that it’s false marketing though it’s

lying so in that regard I would say yeah

it’s not good marketing

in the sense that it’s evil marketing

that’s not good means that’s like

literally the definition of evil is not

good I don’t know it seems pretty good

to me

anyway I mean what do you recommend dr.

lund and take some Tom’s take some

benadryl to help them sleep well I am

once again I would say maybe again if

you got a ghost thing following you I

think you gotta sleep sleep around with

someone to get rid of that

that’s it follows rules hmm let’s see

well I’m pretty tired no I think I’m

gonna just kind of go to bed okay but um

as far as sleep I would say you know

avoid blue light you know avoid being on

your phone whenever it comes to bedtime

don’t eat within say like three hours of

when you plan to go to sleep what do you

recommend for being haunted by a portion

of yourself

um like he’s clearly dealing with or you

not equipped to handle real stuff dr.

London you can only tell people you know

get off your phone at night that’s

really because the ads tell me to call

if I have this problem and I’ve tried

and they asked me who I’m supposed to

call it never works nothing works

fix him dr. London come on

yeah I’m sorry this seems to fall out of

the range of Medicine because this

sounds like you’re dealing with an

apparition which is traditionally more

of a you know a ghost hunter that kind

of station as opposed to a medical

approach so I don’t know if you have any

ghost hunters in your area I know

Cameron had started a ghost hunting

company but I think it went under is

that right no it’s tell New Mexico

there’s like 5,000 people yeah there’s a

ton of ghost company ghost hunter

companies in town there are oh yeah what

are the numbers

I mean I don’t know off the top of my

head but if you could under the ghost

hunter district it’s on 4th oh yeah

that’s creepy

well I mean understandably I should

clarify if I’m not mistaken Cameron you

did start those companies right

those are shell companies yeah well no I

mean there’s like Exxon okay no I do P I

don’t mean the logos or shell okay I

mean you started fake companies for some

other reason so their ghost-hunting

companies but they’re not like there’s

no no no I started a fake shell ghost

hunting company I started a fake Exxon

ghost hunting company sort of the fakes

fake BP goes hunting company yeah so I’m

sorry what was that mr. Smith it sounds

like he makes all sorts of fake things

like fake hurt babies well that I

believe is real because dr. London said

it was real oh okay okay

I saw an ad oh and I do think you

probably have a baby in your heart as

well and so you need to take care of

that boy I bet what dr. London said

earlier well dr. London what should I do

okay I’m sorry I was I was explaining

how a transesophageal echocardiogram

uses the same technology to visualize

the the inside of the heart in order to

look at the same technology as an

ultrasound that you would look at a

fetus so but I don’t I don’t believe

that either of you likely are carrying a

child in your hearts

at least not your physical hearts are

you know

that’s one of the worst things that can

happen to a sleepy man dr. London what

are you gonna do to help this

brokenhearted sleepy sleepy man you

called for help from you for now

just just pull through dr. Elanna – what

do you got come on I honestly I think we

should send this man on – to a physician

like someone who’s actually practicing

now change to change yeah we get it okay

for the money

well a night sending him away means that

I wouldn’t make money off of it exactly

oh he’s splitting tips you think that

all doctors practice a form of socialism

where we all go I hope someone in this

system does dad’s doctors like dr.

London he told me I did not say that but

and then again I think we could go ahead

and sort of wrap it up here I think

we’ve kind of narrowed down I’m not sure

exactly why or how you have separation

following you maybe it’s a trick of

mirrors or something in your house but

in any case we can go ahead and wrap it

up so Michael Smith is there any way for

our guests to keep up with you and maybe

see find out what happens with the

separation with your sleep things I host

a popular account called the Butch and

the bye where I talk about my sleep

deprivation ad nauseam with my imaginary

friend okay yeah and is that did they

have social media accounts as well yeah

yeah all that the names the same a very

unique name at the motion – bye okay

yeah

okay all right well thank you Michael

Smith for being on and dr. London just

give him one last piece of advice just

to bring it on home come on dr. London

help something good something to help

them he’s a sleepy man he’s nauseous

his muscles hurt he’s got something

following him that’s possibly an echo of

himself like an annihilation what is it

okay it might help to review your

medications because some medications can

cause muscle pain

okay stop taking all of your medication

no mushrooms I that’s that he didn’t

come the mushrooms yeah okay that’s once

again you should review that with your

primary care physician but anyway thank

you Michael Smith thank you to Cameron

our producer thank you to dude you doing

the house

[Music]

well dr. London

[Music]

and my name is dr. Lauren Smith hum this

has been the jock doc podcast see ya a

toast he said taking a monstrous gulp

from the chalice in his hand to sharing

all of our opinions in a five star

review of the jock doc podcast on our

favorite podcasting app now we all love

to avoid sharing our dearest favorite

podcast with our friends and enemies but

perhaps tonight we should make a change

to all of those listening join us as we

feast upon the joys of the handi website

jock doc podcast calm and let us not

forget to follow them at jock doc

podcast on social media he said all this

whilst simultaneously chugging a

six-pack of tomato juice

[Music]

[Applause]

26: Rheumatic Heart Disease/Baron Whvackoff

Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advance if you need

medical advice or medical care please

contact your doctor

Welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London Smith he’s got the

skills to prescribe you pills

introducing your host hello and welcome

to the jock doc podcast where we discuss

fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring

I’m your host Dr. London smith.com I

would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners we’ve received some

feedback about the inordinate amount of

technical terms such as cardiac arrest

and cozy blanket so I will attempt to do

better at tailoring my speech to the

desires of our listeners as we go on

here to help with that is our producer

Cameron hello friends and hello Dr.

London those are two separate categories

okay so Cameron he worked so hard to

help this podcast stay relevant that

when he first heard the saying leaves

are falling autumn is calling and began

to see the leaves following Cameron

immediately went to his phone service

provider

because whoever autumn was their calls

were not getting through and he was

absolutely livid and I just I do want to

clarify Cameron leaves our following

autumn is calling that’s just as saying

it doesn’t mean that you know when

leaves start to fall you should expect a

phone call from someone named autumn do

you even know someone named autumn no I

mean I’ve been waiting that’s why I

don’t like the I don’t think autumn is

calling at all yeah well I and

I would say that’s true like it’s just

sort of a term for like the season

autumn is coming right but it just I

mean it does make me feel a little

unworthy it’s like a kid who’s not

visited by Santa Claus you know I’m I’m

just over here not getting a call from

autumn even though the leaves are yeah I

mean not every single one it’s fallen

maybe that’s the issue once they all

fall yeah you’ll finally get that call

and maybe maybe there’s a few stragglers

every year and so I kind of you never

get the call yeah I don’t know it hurts

though okay well yeah I’m sorry to hear

that camera like or not I can see it in

your face you don’t care okay well also

with us is dude you do the hose

I can see it in your faith and you don’t

care

[Music]

later Cameron tells me that we can also

expect an oncologist by the name of

Baron back off I think I’m saying that

right so look forward to that and I’m

not confident I even know how to say

that word yeah it’s it’s difficult to

say I hopefully he’ll clarify that and

yeah Bronk ologist okay no Bronco I was

your fault letís I was referring to the

word on it sorry to the word vac off his

last name but the word oncologist is

also I guess I could be difficult to

understand if you’re not familiar with

so that’s that’s like a cancer doctor

let me okay let me break it down real

quick on okay

opposite of off Conn okay

no call it’s Co L on Conn ol jawed died

okay call like a like a like autumns

gonna call me in the fall

Oh Geist oh I just was conned right I I

don’t think that’s right Ron College oh

oh we can move on from there

okay and but but before we move on I

would like to address a bit of listener

feedback

quote is that what they call a uniform

in these modern times back in my day I

had to spend about 30 minutes getting

myself ready for my waitressing job

every day red lippy pinstripe apron lol

eduardo’s was the best cafe in town

shame it was demolished I’m sorry

des moines list it’s how they wrote mind

you I never had someone tried to dip my

fingers in their soup I think I’d have

tipped it over their head haha anyway

give my love to Keith he does sometimes

lose his mind and manhandle young men ex

ex end quote

I love our listeners yeah I do want to

say I really relate to this listener

because it sounds like it takes them 30

minutes to put on lipstick in an apron

and it I mean an eight an apron takes me

30 40 50 minutes to attach attach well

you know it’s just a you whenever you

put on an apron it just goes over your

head at least once I’m familiar with it

goes one part loops over your head the

other part you just hide behind you

right but you got to account for all the

time spent once it gets stuck on your

head and you’re kind of flailing around

for a while tripping hitting your head

on the ticket counter

now I write I’ve stressed to our

listeners don’t do that that’s a scam

okay okay well yeah and that’s so I

think for most people maybe the the loop

there is big enough it’s wide enough

that they don’t get their head stuck

like that so what oh I’m not like most

people you’re saying my head I have a

huge head I was saying that your apron

might be smaller

at least that loop that loop at the top

mmm I’m gonna choose to think that

you’re implying that I have a big brain

yeah I know okay well I’d respond or

listener first of all thank you so much

for reaching out to us here at the jock

dock podcast we always appreciate

hearing from our listeners to answer

your question uniforms can vary

depending on the job and specialty even

in medicine some doctors work more in

surgery and prefer to wear scrubs while

others work more in a clinical setting

like outpatient and they prefer to wear

business attire with a white coat and

plenty of doctors our mix of those

preferences in any case thank you for

your question and we look forward to

hearing from you in the future as long I

mean as long as you can see that body

then I think anything is an acceptable

uniform you know what I mean as long as

it fits that shape and you can just kind

of see it work I know I’ve already

covered this on the on the show I okay

so I feel like that’s usually scrubs are

known for not being so flattering to two

persons body type but I don’t know them

but can you imagine if they were you’re

going into surgery they’re wheeling in

you got this hunky guy over you yeah

well usually we hunky girl well so he’s

jacked as hell excuse me sir right so

that’s not really what I see is like the

purpose of that clothing it’s more to

I like they rarely feel superior to the

people around you like most uniforms

it’s it’s more to well at least the

scrubs are for you know they’ll get

stained and whatever they might get any

number of bodily fluids on it and it’s

more because it’s easier to clean and

it’s it’s it’s more of a right and it

wouldn’t be as easy to clean if it were

tighter on the body is what you’re

saying yeah didn’t think that through

hon dr. London you can continue I’ve

already won all right well let’s go

ahead and move on and now for a tale

from the GI clinic we had a patient who

is coming in to establish care ahead of

his first colonoscopy

he seemed fairly easy going but he spoke

quickly and his hands were constantly

moving like throughout the conversation

we scheduled his colonoscopy for that

week but this is the wrapper TI he said

yes no I’m sorry I should clarify that’s

something that it’s my fault

a GI clinic so gastrointestinal clinic

okay yeah so that’s the type of clinic

it was I didn’t give this guy’s name

because that’s confidential information

right okay so we scheduled his

colonoscopy for that week but I had to

warn the anesthesiologist because with

how constantly he was moving throughout

the interview and without any other

known medical history I was fairly

certain that he was on some sort of

stimulant like cocaine and anesthesia

and analgesia are common practices but

mixing stimulants and depressed sorry

sorry dr. London now are you saying that

it was for sure not the wrapper TI or

were you saying you just can’t tell me

if it is or isn’t yes okay I I cannot

tell you whether it is or not now so was

this before or after 2008 you know live

your life it was after that occasion ed

and gone

yeah it’s after that okay I just wanted

to be able to place which TI song was in

the atmosphere and these

guys while this was going on go ahead

okay our and I don’t I don’t think that

that would be so applicable really but

but we can we okay so as I said

anesthesia and analgesia are common

practices but if you mix stimulants like

what this patient appeared to be on and

a presence that’s known as speedball one

that can be dangerous

fortunately there were no complications

and the colonoscopy was as pleasant as

any other I’ve had the pleasure to have

known well and you you would think he’d

be a little more careful with that kind

of stuff given that a lot of his peer

group a lot of like other performing

rappers and touring rappers struggle

with with those kind of addictions I

know it’s kind of a hard lifestyle but

well okay and to clarify once again I am

NOT identifying this patient as TI okay

we’re not doing that

so what I’m saying is that regardless of

what’s going on mixing a stimulant with

the depressant isn’t a good idea

yeah but I’m just saying like I think it

you know it’s kind of a party lifestyle

when you’re you’re touring as much as

they do and so it can kind it can be

difficult and and tempting to kind of

just take whatever is handed to you I

don’t know you know I feel for the guy

okay okay and that’s that’s fine yeah

having you know some compassion and

empathy is okay good even well and

because he knows where Yanna live your

life right yeah I remember yeah we can

go and move on from there though okay

Sam that was the story and now for

today’s medical topic rheumatic heart

disease Cameron have you ever had what

is commonly known as strep throat let me

think okay hmm when I was 1 years old

what did I have okay I think I got

jaundice at some point well I bet I

don’t think I got strep through it when

I was 2 years old I think maybe I got a

cold but I don’t think I got strep

throat okay well so at 3 years old yeah

I think I got an inner ear infection but

I don’t believe we got strep throat at

four years old I got the plague and but

did not get strep throat at five years

old I got gout which is so I did have

gout at five okay well that doesn’t

really sound just sort of a casual

question and not really not to go okay

so well well there’s a reason why

doctors take strep throat so seriously

sorry my throat’s so sore right now go

ahead okay so strep throat is caused by

a bacteria known as Group A

streptococcus resulting in streptococcal

pharyngitis or you know a sore throat is

it’s kind of how it looks but if you do

not diagnose and treat strep it can

progress to rheumatic fever which is an

immunological immediated systemic

process that can cause chronic valvular

abnormalities in the heart and these

abnormalities are known as rheumatic

heart disease I mean can we turn the

heat down I feel like it’s hot in here

it’s so hot killing me right now

God okay go ahead sorry so the most

common abnormality in rheumatic heart

disease is mitral stenosis which is when

the valve on the left side of the heart

becomes too stiff to open properly now

rheumatic heart disease is just one

aspect of acute rheumatic fever which

can include my heart is stiff as hell

okay I don’t think you’d be able to feel

it oh I want to try to loosen it up some

yeah that’s a that is a weird stretch

you’re doing I mean it’s just so stiff

man just okay cuz that back bend like

you can’t possibly that can’t be

comfortable for you well it’s not about

comfort it’s about Talent okay I thought

I thought it was about stretching your

heart

yeah and it’s also stretching my mind

which in my abilities as a talent okay

alright well as I was saying rheumatic

heart disease is just one aspect of

acute rheumatic fever which can include

rashes abnormal neurologic movements

arthritis what look okay you can put

your arms down also includes nodules

under the skin these are known as the

Jones criteria but all of these problems

can be prevented if you get treated for

your strep throat before it has a chance

to progress and get worse okay okay

but this isn’t a rash right okay that is

that is a sizable rash well I mean it’s

it’s kind of cotton and you didn’t have

to take off your pants for that like I

one of that’s for comfort okay

this is just for but what is it supposed

to be like turning that color no no the

yellow you might you might think of

going to a doctor about this is it it’s

supposed to be it supposed to be as cold

as it is it’s freezing no it feels

pretty a little bit warm no no I mean

the rash um touch it no no no thing so

it’s ice cold like it burns it’s cold so

cold oh no I still don’t want to despite

the fact that it will burn I’m just yeah

you’re the doctor I don’t know I’m sorry

I didn’t know I was just a untreatable

patient to you but that’s fine okay well

okay I think I think that’s good for now

Cameron do we have a sponsor for today

we do dr. London I’m actually really

excited about this

[Music]

okay this one is a little I don’t know

was not socially conscious but just kind

of conscious of the world of the

environment okay you know you know veal

it’s a controversial meal right because

it’s baby animal right and so a lot of

people a lot of animal rights activists

and even a lot of people who you know

aren’t animal rights activists take

issue with it which I totally understand

I relate to that and I take issue with

it too oh okay and that is one of the

reasons I am so happy about our new

sponsor which is called proto foods

proto foods and inst so instead of

eating a baby animal and putting

something through that pain instead

you’re eating aborted animal so they’re

already dead they’ve already been

flushed out just kind of scrambled and

just let out this doesn’t sound good

it’s okay because so proto meaning like

the before yeah like the original yeah

the before and you’re saying that this

is so like a an embryo or a fetus well

yes and that’s what’s so great about

this is that it’s you know veal is just

that the baby cow with proto foods you

tell them what animal you want the

aborted fetus from it can be any animal

and it’s it’s the unborn child the

unborn offspring of a given animal it is

the yes it is the aborted fetus of a you

know a chicken of a cow and you have a

dog of a whale see this sounds very I

feel like I might have issues with this

as well it’s for one thing it sounds it

sounds kind of I don’t want to say

grosser disgusting but I mean if it’s

like yeah you certainly shouldn’t say

that our sponsor is gross and disgusting

I would I would recommend you not saying

that tip I did is it

okay the process

it like really well refined and cooked I

guess like a hot dog doesn’t look like

what it’s when it’s oh yeah the abortion

is so quick they’ve got it down like to

a science

a aborting the cake is that of like the

like the the fluid and the material like

yeah and all of that is what just sauce

for your meal oh so so the the bodily

fluids from the animal come with it yeah

it’s kind of like a like a bowl okay I

just this doesn’t sound this doesn’t

sound like something I would go for

typically but people do eat things like

I guess blood pudding yeah okay

and so if you sign up right now oh you

can get 1400 hamster fetuses hamster

okay 1400 so you’re expecting people to

just plop these in pretty quick oh yeah

it’s it’s like I mean I would I eat anit

as a cereal a hamster fetus you’ve eaten

as cereal sure I wouldn’t call it a ham

oh I’m eating hamster food as I’d say

I’m eating hamster pops or something

like that but yes okay so and it tasted

just like hamster and how do you know

that how do you think so you you’ve

eaten hamster outside of this surely

that was clearly state as implied I

guess yeah heavily implied okay I can’t

I mean I don’t want to put the arrow

sponsor um so what other animals are

available well doctor lemon that’s a

good question

that was already answered before when I

said every animal okay so let’s go

through them bats dogs cats are you are

these animals are their offspring might

forcibly aborted or is this just

miscarriages that happen like an

accidental abort a spontaneous abortion

as

there’s a miscarriage III think it’s

very gentle by gentle do you mean like

surgically done or did they take they

give the animals medicine to make it

happen this these are all questions

these are great questions that you could

ask the people at proto foods okay and

have they gotten any backlash for this

in this day and age

everything gets backlash are you kidding

me with his outraged culture you can’t

even eat an aborted you know hamster

anymore without people getting huffy

about it on their high horse so you’re

really into the hamster dish oh yeah

that’s kind of my main purchase okay

well I guess

okay so sting graze yeah I guess the one

that came to mind is more rare like

elephant oh yeah

Oh Rhino load yeah leopard snow leopards

really and how do they get ahold of I

guess this is another question for these

are questions that you’ve got to ask

them dr. London okay well I guess I what

was the name of this company again here

I’m gonna let me have some of this

hamster juice okay know that okay you’re

spilling some it is seeping into the

carpet it is so gosh it it’s crazy how

it tastes just like hamster okay what

was the name of the company again proto

Foods okay I well thank you to proto

foods I guess this is closer to being at

least remotely medical do they have

health benefits as far as you’re aware I

mean I assume they have a full-time

staff that would require health benefits

sure okay I meant in terms of the food

content I don’t know if it’s like Blue

Cross Blue Shield or you know whatever

whatever they’re in tourism

I’m sure certainly they would have some

health benefits okay I guess I guess you

can just I’m sorry and it’s also it’s it

is raw

that you’re meant to eat it raw I mean

that’s your choice you can eat it

however you want right okay okay

my hamster pops I usually fry them up

first right but you’re drinking just

hamster juice yeah okay

well thank you to our sponsor proto

Foods

we appreciate our sponsors yes we do

[Music]

all right Cameron you said that we have

a guest today yes we do dr. London all

right um hello nice to meet you

mr. Baron václav am I saying that right

um yes you are correct in that as it’s a

name is a baron back off yes okay well

it’s nice to meet you

okay from the east coast um an awesome

California yes okay so as a vest Coast

oh yeah Cameron does get his East’s and

West scan a few very confused him okay

because your accent to me sounds I don’t

want to make assumptions but it sounds

more German five of the non and you you

know how it is I I guess I’m never

Russian I don’t know I’m from California

or Californian is what I mean yes yes a

lot of us Californians do sounds like

this it’s a very common misconceptions

that we sound like surfer people but it

would be in fact do sound like this very

often I’ll see I associate this voice

with surfer people you ever go down to

the beach and just kind of every person

you know they’re trying to sell you a

hot dog

fossum high-value whatever yeah okay

yeah well I’m sorry I didn’t realize

that I visited California but I guess I

guess maybe it’s a subtle thing I didn’t

pick up on it

it’s atcbs a big state multiple

communities you okay I totally get it

you can’t expect someone as pretentious

and wealthy as dr. London to understand

the common man like you and I oh of

course

his background I mean he was raised in a

palace I think maybe even a palace on on

the like on a space shuttle or something

it was something weird like that and

then I mean you growing up you owned a

train it’s just I don’t know you can’t

relate you don’t know what it’s like to

be a Californian or me I guess I should

I clarify something here so Cameron the

name London if you look it up and one of

those name meaning books uh-huh one that

one of the names is one of the

definitions of it is like fortress on

the moon or castle on the moon but that

might be where you’re getting this from

yeah and where did that origin come from

a filthy rich person like you a person

who looks at the poverty in this country

and says no I need more I need an

additional TV

give me another train give me a boat any

azar that sounds like a German sings a

you know rich looking down it’s a poor

I’ve owned know anything about that but

it sounds like something Germans for do

you know yeah that does sound like

something Germans would do and also dr.

London okay well we can get back to okay

doctor back off so you study oncology is

that right you know well just um well

yes III fuck at a call centre so I I am

an oncologist yeah that’s what you told

me to get right dr. London an oncologist

yeah so I said because I was on call

with him for like 45 minutes earlier

today trying to get to change my

internet

oh and okay because so an oncologist

that’s a term for a doctor who studies

and who works in cancer yeah related

things so if someone let’s say finds out

that they potentially have cancer they

will go to an oncologist to find out

about treatment and diagnosis treatment

and prognosis genetics a little bit

uh-huh this is very similar I had called

him I’d called spectrum and I said hey I

want every time I connect to the

internet I wanted to go I do my hair

down paint my nails I responded that is

impossible

what are you doing but we bonded I mean

we thought for a really long time

dr. vakif yeah what was was your take on

that conversation well it was just like

any other Saturday and uncia there I I

do forgive weekends I was there sitting

at my desk owns this man called me and

he had just see strange subtlety to his

voice that excited me you know so then

he was talking to me I honestly well I

won’t go there but I I saw I needed to

continue to talk to this man so I talked

to him for a good three or four hours as

you come back after that already many

times oh yeah we’ve been chit-chatting I

mean for a while now yeah so when you

said 40 40 minutes today this is a

continuation from when did you guys

first talk who think it was the late 90s

yeah I think so I think wait let me

think was it was Bill Clinton impeached

yet ye yeah I was because I was at I was

there for a while yes I had to excuse

myself from the Senate floor to take one

of these calls so

was during the impeachment okay go ahead

I’m sorry

and I I don’t mean to take away from

your time I guess mr. wax lock off not

doctor but Cameron you were a senator or

you know no no no I was just hanging out

oh there’s a hot dog stay in there

that’s like amazing okay okay well in

any case so doctor back off could you

tell us about yourself

what um you know especially and I guess

anything that relates to fitness or

health have you I guess how are you

health-wise maybe fell 40 listeners at

home if either do to describe myself I

would say um I am plump might be a good

descriptor you know a large fellow

someone who cannot fit through a door

yes when we saw human has I didn’t know

that you were a person at first yes

locked into the room yes a lot of people

study me because some people believe

that I have my own gravitational pull

and I do feel some kind of tour but I

thought I was emotional is that such is

what some people think yes but I think

it’s just is the center of mass making

people come in towards me

well a lot of sorry for the first time

they see you confuse it with a beanbag

chair absolutely a giant fun yeah yeah

like one of those loveSac ones you can

get at the mall in 2004

absolutely okay so this all of that in

mind I would say I’m pretty healthy you

know I feel pretty good okay

no that’s that’s great um so okay it is

normal to feel a a constant pain in your

chest right yes that’s that’s typical oh

yeah

like like just daggers in your chest I

so that’s my you know go to

kind of feeling so III six that’s pretty

healthy yeah that boom-boom thing on the

left side of your chest is supposed to

kind of poke you and kind of have a

sharp pain continuously right to act and

then so yeah every once in a while it

kind of ceases for a while and then it

kicks back on well have you visited a

doctor mister back off like about these

chest pains no okay we said it’s not a

concern he said it’s normal okay all

right well I would make sure the

abnormal one dr. London maybe not every

person you see and interact with every

common man is some sort of weirdo

unhealthy freak huh okay well I just

wanted to you know sort of suggest that

regular checkups are just good they’ll

listen to your heart usually at one of

these appointments and then you’d love

to suggest that wouldn’t you you would

absolutely love to suggest something

like that dr. London if I’m going to be

honest is that kind of attitude towards

people is exactly if I I do not go to

see doctors and say oh yeah you should

you should get help

oh come in for a checkup no oh stop

sticking your hand in there

so that that’s just a part of sort of

what we call preventive medicine you go

when you see the doctor they’ll listen

to your heart and depending on your age

they there might be more invasive things

to do like what we talked about earlier

earlier already was the colonoscopy

yeah which and that’s obviously not

comfortable but you are also you know

put under anesthesia for that right

things like that aren’t accessible to

the common man of course t I can afford

such a thing okay I once again I did not

identify who that was right but you

didn’t have to you don’t it was actually

t I who gave me my last colonoscopy oh

wow yeah that sounds strange

are you only I have many of us what is

English time I’m polish no no no no no

polyps he said I have many polyps and I

said I have never eaten that okay

so a polyp is sort of an outgrowth in

your colon and they can be precancerous

or cancerous even yeah but he just said

he’s never eaten that so proud that I

have them in my colon yeah

okay well and so it’s actually your

colon itself that would produce it and

actually if if we did have an actual

oncologist on the show they would

actually they could go into detail on

this well I mean it’s it sounds like we

could maybe get TI on the show if you

know TI oh I haven’t seen him in a vial

um let me try to get in contact with him

okay well I’m actually actually call

center right now so I let me try to do

that oh you’re gonna call him right now

yes uh what was his number two okay I’m

calling him now

okay give me a moment okay oh oh no I

think he’s gonna get him no no I you you

stuck your your fingers in my no this is

not ti oh my bad my dad III I think he

was just a man who um was very curious

well did he have instruments or was this

kind of a free-for-all

oh this was very much just uh not even

gloves just you know back-alley they

just are oh you’re saying a literal back

alley way not like people use that term

maybe just call like a back alley doctor

of getting like wow that kind of sounds

like TI I don’t know this thing is I

just asked him won’t he said something

along the lines of I’ve never spoken to

you who the hell are you

and so that makes me think that I just

called a random number

so maybe just as a guy who put his

fingers there gave me a fake number

yeah it’s actually wasn’t TI well

unfortunately so I I have a separate

question I I’m sorry but I believe it is

unrelated to that um so mr. vakif are

you originally from California yes okay

you’ve lived what what part of

California have you lived there all your

life or you you know um is that part of

California well I was born in your hands

Berg and then I moved to Sacramento then

I spent my college years in Berlin which

is a place in Northern California right

and then I I practiced a bit of oncology

outside of LA Wow okay so to clarify

Berlin to my knowledge there might also

be a Berlin yes right north and Linda

yes yes well Berlin is also a place in

Germany I’m not sure you’re aware that

yeah right north of Glendale mm-hmm in

California I guess so what are your what

are your favorite Californian foods

um fail I I love beer oh yeah I feel

like because California is more known

for like Napa Valley wines rather than

beer I mean not to say that there aren’t

breweries but well yeah if you’re a you

know billionaire like yourself then of

course going to these fancy wineries and

just you know drowning and grapes um

sure sounds great but for us commoners

we have PBR yeah I remember during the

is a cold cold winter months it’s always

his snow my friends would I would go to

the bars and there would be these ladies

in green dresses and you know a dancing

little shoes and he would get these big

big containers of beer

Oh as a kid I wanted to be a Californian

clogger Oh

you say was snowing in California oh yes

it’s no salsa time did you live in the

mountains was that it’s as close

Californian winters they are harsh

see I what I know of California is

actually you know more temperate weather

kind of easy year-round a lot of areas

I’m sorry I’m not that familiar with

Northern California I suppose yeah I

mean it it gets pretty chilly okay so

did you have any job before you were an

on-call or chest and he said you went to

Berlin and any jobs around there um well

for about of Infosys was early 2000s I

act this a marijuana dispensary okay a

marijuana dispensary around 2001 to to

was that was it legal at that point

mm-hmm from what I recollect marijuana

wasn’t legalized in California for quite

a while you know I um I don’t remember

okay it was yeah legal you know just

kind of that I mean that stuff must have

been pretty good right you know but yeah

that stuff must have been like pretty

strong can’t even remember it oh yes I I

do not remember many years of my life so

um yeah I I would say um I fucked is

that I said after that I fucked

let’s see he says it’s a facade know

pretty much immediately after that I I

was an oncologist I kind of figured so

this is really more

like a career for you this is kind of

year while you were hoping it really is

my minor passion Wow

yeah so tell me about the the job itself

calling people you said what do you call

for is it to offer

I don’t know assistance or um

so I look at a couple different places

so as of yesterday I was working at

Verizon okay so as a typical things you

know you are given a script and you say

things like um hello welcome to Verizon

how can I help you with your problems

today what good stuff like that you know

and what is where’s that accent from

because it sounds like there was a

subtle change there for the call portion

i but accent I’m confused so yeah what

are you talking about dr. London okay

maybe it’s just me and I learned a

pickup are you making fun of our guests

voice dr. London no no I and I was not

intending to to belittle or to ridicule

or mock you are very little you are

being you are you are being little you

know I wouldn’t expect a disease in

Southern California but to come on this

show would have someone make fun of my

voice

it’s disgusting I’m so sorry you

shouldn’t have to deal with this okay

can I ask something maybe a request

since you’re working at 4:00 are you

still working at Verizon or do that

change from yesterday to today uh

no I I’m still fucking sighs okay I

might switch to Verizon Internet if

whenever my Roku connects to the

Internet it goes my head paying my nails

I feel good so if you could talk to your

CEO and maybe kind of get that into the

works that would be really helpful um I

feel not try that but if you want to

call about anything else

literally yes see this has been a point

of contention in our conversation

conversation since the 90s

yeah is that it’s mostly me making this

same request over and over again at the

difference I owe you you’ve been calling

him no matter where he works

oh yeah I mean he worked at Costco for

seven years and I was still whole I’d

make another quality forgot about that

you’re right

oh that’s a time Costco I remember the

stories he used to tell me I remember

this fun time I was there you know doing

my sing and this woman comes up to me

and she has just the most beautiful

beautiful you know gorgeous nose and Wow

I just remember thinking I really wanted

to say to her hey men you are you’re

looking real nice you know what I mean

yeah oh yeah maybe honk that nose

absolutely see see I feel like I heard

your accent change again briefly you

know it’s it’s alright I think it’s

about time to maybe wrap it up here um

Wow just our guest just telling a story

about Costco makes you so uncomfortable

you have to end the interview well I’m

just just the concept of Costco knowing

that there’s commoners there there’s an

average joe’s people who maybe look like

giant bean bags no no it’s not that so

much it’s just the timing and like it

just feels like it’s about time to wrap

it up is all I see but but thank you to

mr. Barron václav the on Carl you you

don’t need our guest did four tours in

Boston this is true as a caller you mean

you have to respect that

no as I said a marijuana d-list okay

well okay I so so we can probably just

end it there is what I’m back no respect

yeah now we let’s go ahead and wrap it

up I’m so sorry about dr. London’s

behavior it’s he’s okay thank you for

having me on the show oh absolutely

thank you for being on and is there any

place the listeners can reach you

outside of the show if they wanted to

follow you or I am typically around some

street corners in Sacramento as well if

you see just a absolute giant of a man

come up say hi I should be around Z

typically just street corners great all

right well thank you for being on the

show mr. Barun l’m václav thank you to

Cameron as always our producer

absolutely and no thank you to you dr.

London but I will say thank you to the

listeners okay

I thank you specially one very special

listener Evan I don’t know I don’t know

if you have a listener not named Evan

yet but if we do one day and they listen

this episode it’s they’re gonna that’s

gonna blow their minds

well now that you said all of that I’m

not sure that it’ll blow their mind so

much it would have a second ago not now

okay now

they’ll be like oh okay yeah okay well

also thank you too

did you do the hose hello welcome to

Verizon how can I help you with your

problems today hello and my name is

stutter London smith.com this has been

the jock doc podcast see ya

[Music]

it’s getting late you promised yourself

one more podcast before you gave up on

all this funny business hmm in fact your

boss has already been getting on to you

about all of the funny business after

all

he says why is my boss at my house

a funeral home was no place for your

pranks and yet you keep putting fart

machines inside the bodies of the

deceased just so that there can be a few

giggles when their loved ones arrive

[Music]

late and since we do have the honor of

being your last podcast before you give

up this funny business

we must advise you that your boss is

right that it is super inappropriate to

pull pranks on grieving families hmm I

guess my boss is right even more

inappropriate though is when you hold

back from sharing with these families

your love for the jock dock podcast so

please for their sakes send them to jock

dock podcast.com and leave a five-star

review in the podcast in which you

detail your adventures of putting the

fun back in funeral hmm I should tell my

friends and family about this podcast

and don’t forget to follow us on social

media we are at jock dock podcast and we

love to hear from our listeners so thank

you for listening hmm I wonder

the jock talked podcast has an Instagram

a Twitter account the Facebook accounts

even a tik tok

you

[Applause]