All posts by London Smith

Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice

and if you need medical advice or

medical care

please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr london smith

we’ve got a good one for you today folks

introducing your host

dr london smith

[Music]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and

health

and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of

of science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so

boring i’m your host dr drlonansmith.com

i would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners

we have received some feedback about the

excessive amount of

technical medical terms that i’ve been

using such as

hypnagogic hallucinations and

hunky dory so i will try to

temper my terminology to a simpler one

in the future

i’m here to help with that and

kind of yeah here thank you uh just

also your help with sort of just

everything that’s been going on is

our producer cameron so cameron is so

dedicated to making sure that

do you want to explain to our listeners

yeah i mean are you

yeah you hold on you hold you step back

for a second man you you

you blow your nose into that tissue real

loud and real

let me hear it there we go yeah there it

um so for our listeners you’re probably

wondering why there’s maybe a more

somber tone than usual um in this

episode

and um well

unfortunately sometimes

bad things happen in this world things

that uh

are a bit unexpected and things that

maybe aren’t exactly fair

and that’s um that’s exactly what’s

happened here we’ve

we’ve lost one of our three listeners

as you all know the only three people

listen to this show and

unfortunately that number has gone down

to two we’ve lost um

our good friend lanchester fligsby

and i i i mean dr london do you wanna

maybe speak on this a little bit so

lanchester flixby

uh lan as i like to call him yeah

uh and we do know it’s him we actually

kind of know a lot about him because

well i i guess i’m getting hated myself

a little bit uh should i specify

dr london that um you know

you know we didn’t our listener didn’t

pass away i i just

worry that because this is a medical

podcast people might be assuming there’s

some sort of health related

factor to this no he’s just

he’s apparently um discovered

i think he discovered this american life

and so he’s sort of stopped listening to

this one unfortunately yeah it’s it’s

almost as if he thought

that just swapping and i’m not mad i

can’t

i’m not mad great podcast

it’s just i i know

that he i know in my heart of hearts

that he loved

the jock doc podcast that lanchester

loved the jock talk podcast

but something happened

i don’t know and so so anyway we’re um

so this episode is dedicated and i i

hope this isn’t

you know going out of bounds to say it

this episode is dedicated to

to lanchester flexby yep

and just to the memory of him

and uh just and the things that we

we wish we could have told him when we

had the chance and we just took it for

granted

yeah and sorry before we move on you

know just to help us with the process

because we’re all kind of together in

this

also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

unfortunately sometimes bad things

happen in this world

[Music]

the jock doc is you know we we have our

intern here with us today

yes returning to the episode shane flagg

so shane here is going to be helping us

pull up as much information

as we can get on our old our old buddy

lancey

and good old lance pants as we called

them

now i will say i don’t want to pull up

anything too malicious on the guy

because

i’ve grown to like him myself because i

actually sent

i i’ve had communication with him myself

i actually uh

i sent him an email one time and i

didn’t get a response but you could just

tell the way

that he kind of let it sit for a while

you know well forever with no response

it was just kind of that like

you know that that that sarcasm you only

get in a true friendship it’s a sort of

it’s a sort of a wink you know even if

you

yeah yeah nothing needs to be said

internet winks are just very apparent

you know to people like me so it’s i i

mean i don’t understand that you guys

are amazing it’s a it’s a language i

don’t understand but um

i mean doctor yeah definitely we’re not

ever

looking for anything malicious on him at

all we’re trying to just win him back

we will do anything we will do whatever

it takes

with this podcast to make sure that

lanchester flixby is one of our

listeners

we’ll change the format i mean we’ll do

anything

shane can you go ahead and uh and boot

up your i don’t know how

all that works boot up your hacker

machine or whatever

yes oh yeah yeah i’ve got my yeah i’ve

got my uh

boxes here ready to go okay

so yeah it sounds like it’s okay yeah

it’s just loading in

real quick to there

push a couple buttons

and all right i think

we are in we’re in

all right we’re good did you find him uh

yeah i i mean i i found some uh i mean i

could really go

any direction at this point so i guess

the question is you know

where what are we looking for yeah what

are you looking for yeah dr london i

mean how do you want to how do you want

to see yeah this uh

i guess just what you know maybe just

pull up

what is he in yeah what’s his latest

search history or what is

what kind of car he’s driving pull up

his okay pull up his bike

yeah i’ll pull up his google search

history it’s it’s

honestly this is baby stuff like anybody

can

google has knows everything so you can

just google search for somebody’s

google searches and and it should pop up

so uh let me just do it so i can just i

can look at like

dr london search history just by

googling dr

london search history i think yeah i

think that’s how it works that’s

you know google’s supposed to have all

the information on the internet so

yeah i mean that counts right so yeah i

would think

yeah that i mean that’s incredible so

what yeah so what are you seeing here

shane uh a lot of um

neopets uh okay okay

okay uh youtube it doesn’t tell me

anything specific

but i can just that’s a lot that’s a lot

that’s a lot can you see what he

what he watched on youtube mostly how to

on neopets okay okay it was mostly okay

it was

neopets related so let’s uh there’s a

lot of anti

tamagotchi type lingo

that i’ve i i can’t be too specific but

yeah i’m seeing a lot

like a violent tamagotchi

well i yeah no i think it’s more of that

he’s a neopets

super fan and so he just doesn’t

you know really any of the other um

but he isn’t a computer specific hate

group

towards tamagotchi no no

it’s he i can see he is in some forums

about neopets

um and they do seem to be a little bit

um extremist possibly but nothing

nothing to worry about at this point

okay okay

so i mean uh okay then um we

i guess let’s introduce a new a new

segment to the show

which is the um the neopet

vet clinic the neopet vet clinic

um you know where we’re just because

it’s medical

so it’s still doctory yes and

um you know anyone can can ask a

question about

their favorite neopets uh maybe their

neopets are sick

i’m sorry and i don’t want to interrupt

and this maybe this is

this is a new segment as well i just

want to throw in here because we didn’t

do it and i

now i’m starting to feel guilty about it

can we have a moment of silence

for for lanchester

i feel stupid i feel let’s we could just

edit that in we could just edit in a

moment of silence

um that actually would save a lot of

time

if we just let’s just edit the making

sense later instead of actually doing it

now

yeah so we’ll to edit it so we will so

dylan go ahead and yeah just just insert

moments of silence just wherever

throughout the podcast

i would say maybe like 13 or 14 times

throughout the show

just go ahead and just cut everything

out for a long period yeah honestly the

more science the more respect

yep okay so the more silence the more

science right that’s true

that’s what we say in the in the

scientific community actually wow

so so i’m gonna go ahead and um so we do

have a

another segment that we do have to

address but i’ll just try to incorporate

the neopets

into it does that does that work

just to bring this don’t want to do the

neopet

vet no i think we should do that but

let’s let’s merge

okay okay yeah yeah let’s merge the

ideas okay go ahead go ahead so before

we move on i would like to dress a bit

of listener feedback

okay and this is also this is what

lanchester was all about he he liked

this thing

so i found this note written on the

walls of my house and some sort of

dripping red paint

the note reads quote oh no titiana isn’t

a hussy

poor deer was bitten by a rabid dolly

parton impersonator during puberty end

quote

so and uh neopets

um so we

this reminds me of the neopet

uh psy bunny yes which as we all know

sai bunny is a neopet

little white bunny who has sort of a

maybe an ascot or something around its

neck with that’s red with hearts on it

and the reason that connects me to it is

because i just love sci bunnies so much

cybone is my favorite neopet and it’s

okay if it’s not

if that’s not your favorite neopet if

that’s not

i think everyone has to have their own

favor that’s what

uh makes them special and

yes um yes yes so

so that’s uh the psy bunny

okay just as a side note shane could you

go ahead and

look up what is neopatch

just so like we have something to go off

of yeah yeah

let me go ahead um

[Music]

i’m seeing uh ice cream

ice cream made in layers of different

colors typically included this doesn’t

sound right

okay okay okay so so i just finished the

it’s ice cream

um okay okay so i got that maybe some

maybe some of the neopets are made of

ice cream i’m not really in the space so

much yet but i’m

very after after hearing about it i’m

very intrigued

okay so so the question

was about being bitten

so ice cream you that’s what you bite

that

yeah sometimes yeah and that and so

so maybe so my favorite

neopets so my favorite neopet is

yes uh cookies and cream

yes okay great great great so for me

if i had to pick one and i don’t want to

have to

i do i’d go for maybe the

vanilla i okay

if i had to go for one hey hey that’s

okay is that

and that doesn’t mean you’re judging

anyone who else who has a different

favorite flavor

that’s right i don’t i don’t know

i don’t i really don’t know look and

this is

sort of tough because i’m i’m in a

grieving period right now

and so to be bringing all this up to

dredge it up and then to also

like dealing with the loss and then

also having to say hey i have a favorite

neopet and neopet is ice cream

it’s tough i’m not well you know

it’s it’s kind of like when you get out

of a when you get out of a long-term

relationship

you’re gonna grieve but what you really

want to do

is learn all about that person and what

they like you focus on them yeah

and and that’s that’s what gets you

through that grieving period so

that’s how you support it and that also

gives you the opportunity to sort of

like trick them

into coming back which is what we’re

doing today

right but trick them in a good way like

yeah it’s always oh i trick or treat

yeah it’s not like a trick

yeah not like tricking like um you know

maybe tricking

like an old witch who is trying to set a

curse on you but then you give her a

riddle that accidentally

she sets the curse on her own self not

that kind of tricking

yeah no this is yeah much more like

instead of a witch it’s a friendly old

lady at the door that

that that gives you candy corn

yeah absolutely can we can we find out a

little uh

shane a little bit more about lanchester

real quick i’m trying to think of what i

want to know i mean

um can we get any kind of pictures of

him

maybe a vacation that he was on we could

maybe get some information

what he likes to wear yeah um okay i’m

seeing let me pull that up um

i’m seeing a lot of anime convention

pictures okay mostly

neopet themed but yeah lots of lots of

cosplay um i don’t i’ve never heard the

term furry

before but i’m seeing that pop up a lot

right

and that um would you would you be able

to hack

the system and and find out what that is

well we can just we can probably just

guess right i mean doctor

one word what what else could it mean a

furry yeah so furry is

um so it’s also known as hirsutism this

is whenever

people have an abnormal amount of like

hair growth like

especially the term is used for women

whenever the too much testosterone

then they’ll have sort of male pattern

hair like they’ll

start to grow a beard or something so

hirsutism is

what lanchester flakes be was

was i guess into so it’s like a hair

like a hair

suit ism like the hair like the hair

yes how do you spell that hirsutism

h-i-r h-a-i-r

s-u-i-t i-s-m u-t-i-s-m

s-m right they have hair pseuditis and

yeah i mean so um

i guess uh okay so he’s into hey dr

london you know what you know what i

love

uh doing i love combing all the all my

hair that’s all over my body

oh oh you like that oh for me

there are some great health benefits for

that because

like for instance if you have a lot of

bugs in there it gets the

like if you have ants or lice it it

it brushes those out mm-hmm

so yeah i do that i don’t even

brush i like to kind of let it go the

way it’s going to go

do you yeah just let it natural

and i think that’s cool too and so and

respect i think what’s important here

is that even even people in the world

who uh have hair pseuditis

uh they matter and they should be

listening to this show

and this show is now it’s gonna a large

chunk of it is gonna be about that

um i found a couple i found a couple of

67: Histiocytosis X/Randy grundy (feat. ryan fuhst)

September 21, 2020 London Smith

hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice

if you need medical advice or medical

care please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr

london smith do not try to prevent

anyone from listening to this podcast

don’t be a jock blocker introducing

your host dr london smith

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host dr. londonsmith.com

i would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners

we’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as epicanthal folds and

public displays of affection so i will

try to

temper my terminology to a simpler one

in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron

hey dr london what’s up man

hey did you good we all good podcast

going good

yeah well we’re doing it right now i

don’t know if you’ve yep

yeah i’m in it yeah i’m up sorry i’m uh

um you can probably see in the in the

background you know as everyone knows

we’re still social distancing so we’re

not recording in the studio right now

where we’re all recording it from home

and

and you know doing the whole zoom thing

but i i’ve been having to take care of

my my cousin trancy

and she is awesome she’s great but she

can be a

little bit of a handful especially you

know but i’m letting her

you know be her and you know just

letting her

kind of like

it and

if and she’s just uh sort of

um is everything okay you know she’s

just

um uh exploring

and discovering things

i can see on the video feed is she

because

she’s expressing herself in a lot of

ways

and i don’t want to want to take that

that way i’ll just

close the door while we do while we do

the record

so that way um you know she can

she can now have a bunch of fun and play

her games and everything in the in the

other room

is everything all right i know you oh

everything is

perfect and everything is awesome and i

am an

excellent babysitter ex i’m the best

babysitter and you know i

am i am trying to prove that to my

cousin’s parents

why are you trying to prove that well i

boasted about it a lot honestly i wasn’t

even supposed to be babysitting but i

kind of

when i was around them at the last like

uh family reunion

i kept talking about how like i am

awesome at babysitting i’m the best

babysitter i’m the coolest

no one can babysit like me um and i’ve

but i had never tried

it before okay i was just i was just

talking big

i was just it made me feel you know

proud

um people people tend to talk that way

about say like their intelligence or

something but for you

oh so you think i’m i’m not the best

baby sitter in the world

i i just don’t understand why you would

want that to be your

your sort of claim to fame i just

thought it just

at the time you know it made me feel

cool

and there was also another cousin who

was a really good babysitter who

i’m kind of jealous of oh so

i’m trying to so you’re competing sort

yeah okay well what’s what’s the other

babysitter’s name

the i honestly i haven’t asked okay it’s

just like word around town

yeah i’ve heard from other cousins i’m

not trying to compete really with

anything

it was just i heard from some cousins

that we have a cousin

who is a crazy good babysitter

and it made me jealous and so i sort of

loudly

yeah kind of going around at everywhere

and sort of being like

oh you know it’s uh it’s 10 p.m if uh i

was babysitting right now the kids would

already be asleep

because that would be the responsible

thing to do as a babysitter so you were

going door-to-door

knocking on the door no no no this is at

this is at the family

reunion with all the cousins that’s a

little better

and so your icebreaker was to say

no i it wasn’t really an icebreaker it

was more like i was just

saying it to myself just talking loudly

in a way

sort of where people feel obligated to

listen even if they don’t want to

yeah and to make that the topic even if

that would obviously not be

the topic for everyone well there’s no

topic i’m talking to myself

i’m standing next to the hors d’oeuvres

and i’m saying

oh man uh you know all this food’s great

but i would never

let the kids eat this i’d of course

stick to you know something

you know just healthy and and whatever

the parents want it right

uh also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

hello hello

[Music]

hello

but i i’ve been having to take care of

my my cousin

and she is awesome she can be a little

bit of a handle

especially you know but i’m letting her

you know be

her and you know just let her kind of

like she’s expressing herself

[Music]

hello

[Music]

ah that’s a nice one dylan

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest

wow an inventor that’s right dr london

wow so go ahead and look forward to that

uh but before we move on

i would like to address a bit of

listener feedback

so someone covered my yard with toilet

paper

and this was written on some of it

the note reads quote

hey internet papa clyde died in this

chair but lots of use left

and very comfy god bless end quote

so okay first of all i’d like to thank

you for reaching out to the jock doc

podcast

um so it sounds like

this is someone trying to sell a chair

and to me

um one of our listeners so i’m

you you may want to at least give a deep

cleaning to any furniture that

someone died whilst occupying um

especially if the death was you know

recent

yeah i mean like lint roll it probably

febreze it down a bit

um i mean i think that’s probably all

you got to do

well if someone if someone died on it

then

yeah yeah you want to febreze it get

some of that stink off but then after

that i mean

i guess it depends on what they died of

if they died

of smallpox then you’re going to want to

febreze it a little more to get that

smallpox smell out of it

and then you’re good well i i feel like

that

you know if they died from something

yeah contagious then you would want to

re ideally you just get a new chair

but you know sometimes oh sorry i didn’t

know

can i just get that from the tree out

back

okay i didn’t see any chairs up there

but yeah i mean let me just go

get a free chair let me just go do that

yeah i and i i know that you know budget

people have different budgets people

have different incomes

but what i’m saying and some people have

to live with dead person chairs

i guess what i’m saying is it can be

some people might

want to live with dead person chairs so

if that’s the case you probably don’t

want to use the fabrics because you

probably are

want the stank there right

if you’re that kind of guy see to me

so if you’re that kind of guy i would

say just don’t do anything just keep it

as it is

and um you know maybe keep it in a

like a room that’s solidly room

temperature

um so so that way it’s comfortable

to sit in yeah well

i guess okay so to me room

whenever you try to treat the thing is

if you catch

a disease from this couch then

the cost of treating that disease may

outweigh the cost of getting a new chair

do you see oh well let me just go out to

the trio back then i guess that

sounds good to me yeah let me just uh

let me just

get a ladder so i can get oh i don’t

have a ladder either but that’s okay let

me just go to the

go to the ladder tree i’ll get one of

those and then from there i can go to

the chair tree and go to the couch tree

and go to the tv

tree and get all my stuff for free

because i’m dr london

okay okay well we can we can go ahead

and move on from there

[Music]

now for today’s medical topic

histiocytosis

x histiocytosis x is a chronic

interstitial pneumonia

caused by an abnormal proliferation of

histiocytes

and so histiocytes are a term

for tissue resident macrophages

and macrophages of course are part of

the immune system

so yeah so 90 of patients with

histiocytosis

x are cigarette smokers um and so

when i say histocytosis x it is a a

group

of um disease variants so you’re gonna

have

i gotta bring i gotta bring up something

here that i’ve been noticing over the

last few months of these

um i don’t know tests

these are like tests you’re giving

people right this is like school

or something this segment of the podcast

so over the course of a few months of

listening to these tests that you’ve

been giving

you came to br you keep bringing up how

pretty much everything is caused by

smoking it’s all smoking this please

stop smoking that

smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke it really

seems like you’re

biased against smokers and it kind of

makes me wonder

like what’s the issue and then i start

thinking

back to when you and i first started

hanging out

and there was a guy that kind of swooped

stole your girl wore a leather jacket

wore a motorcycle what else did you do

yeah what else did he do okay

what else did he do dr london he smoked

safe he smoked cigarettes

okay well he he did have the leather

jacket but he

and he he just called himself captain v

but like that’s that’s not the reason

and like he wore a captain’s hat

yeah yeah and uh specifically the helmet

and that’s how he died

yeah yeah which and i and once again

i i had nothing to do with that um

it’s just okay so i i need to separate

this real quick

so a lot of these lung diseases are

caused or exacerbated by cigarette

smoking

that’s a separate thing i don’t know it

just seems like

this is this is all very pointed

you can’t tell me that everything wrong

with the lungs

points back to smoking something that

cool can’t be that bad

okay well yes so it’s

okay yet to clarify not everything bad

in the lungs is caused by smoking

that is true what we’re discussing right

now isn’t

you know it doesn’t always happen with

smoking

but smoking tends to worsen

problems in the lungs or create problems

in the lungs

and this is on your test uh yeah

sometimes

depend like not kind of that simply but

yeah

okay go ahead continue with your test

then okay and sorry

and this isn’t a test this is a lesson

we’re teaching

for those who will take tests on the

same topic does that make sense

i don’t know i’ve i haven’t turned into

anything i’m going to be honest the

entire semester i haven’t turned into

anything

okay well i’m really sorry but we can

talk about that later i don’t want to

that’s embarrassing i don’t want to talk

about that in the show

okay uh and i don’t okay variants of

this disease

include eosinophilic granuloma localized

to the bone or lung

and two systemic forms called letterer

suede disease

and handshiller christian syndrome

common findings with

these diseases include shortness of

breath and

nonproductive cough other possible

manifestations are spontaneous

pneumothorax

lytic bone lesions and diabetes

insipidus

on chest x-ray histiocytosis you know

this makes me think of is the time when

you’re talking about having like a

really bad cough when

uh you were trying to be cool in front

of uh

all the cool kids and you were trying to

drink like a soda in a really cool way

and then what happens you go you go well

first you say

watch this you get everyone’s attention

right then and there it’s instantly

uncool you can’t say watch this you’re

supposed to do it effortlessly

but i’ve seen it before i’d seen it done

so i knew it could be done

and then you threw the

coke bottle up in the air uh-huh you’re

trying to catch it in your mouth and

drink it that way

what’d you do okay well tooth

which was the more alarming i guess both

were alarming and then who

right then in that moment wrote in on

his motorcycle

and said check out this guy

and got everyone laughing who said that

that was captain v

that was captain v this is your whole

career

is based on this guy dr london no it’s

like that my whole like that

your whole career your whole dream

in life is to prevent other captain vs

from popping up

that’s the whole point of all of this

this is insane

look and no no disrespect man and

you know rest in peace captain v yes uh

it’s it’s tragic what happened to on

chest x-ray histocytosis

x has a honeycomb appearance in the

lungs and ct scan shows

cystic lesions um you know with

with these uh prognosis and course are

highly variable

and you know in the end lung

transplantation may be necessary

and captain v yeah we have our history

but

like i think in the end

we respected each other in our ways

didn’t he i mean he died because he was

not wearing a helmet he was only wearing

a captain’s hat

but yeah didn’t he also die from being

denied a lung transplant

dr london he well okay no no no

okay well for one thing when you say

only the hat that’s right he wasn’t at

on that specific time he wasn’t wearing

any clothes besides the hat

and so yeah i mean he was like

incredibly intoxicated

yeah he was tripping out of his mind

so to if you’re gonna put any of the

blame anywhere it’s

he was being very unsafe and he was so

like his head was one of the parts

bleeding but like

most of him had you know

been been cut up and everything whenever

he had his accident

and look i don’t want to dwell on this

so much

captain v may he rest in peace

i i feel like that’s that’s saying

plenty i’m sure he is

he died doing what he loves which is

riding a motorcycle naked except for a

captain’s hat

and being really intoxicated

yeah all right well yeah yeah let’s go

ahead and move on from there then

yeah yeah we can go ahead and just and

get started on

um let’s get started on the next

session yes sorry the door opened again

uh i gotta let me

oh well okay it’s not shutting all the

way because a lot

there’s a lot of uh there’s a lot of

you know two by fours and what not

everywhere

but that’s fine you know she uh looks

like trancy is getting some projects

going with some of her friends

and they’re just expressing themselves

and looks like they’re they’re having a

lot of fun here

that’s something it looks like they’re

filling the fish tank

with cement that

all those fish are gonna be dead very

quickly and that is oh that’s okay

it doesn’t sound okay well you know the

project is still

it’s clearly in its early stages so it’s

hard to

hard to picture what it’s gonna end up

being

okay yeah well let’s you know if it’s

all right we’ll go ahead and move on

from there and then hopefully

was that a cow that was a cow

right because trancy has been saying

that that’s not a

cow that’s a classmate but i i mean that

she moved right

are you talking about i transie’s friend

she says this is my friend she’s a

classmate and i’m saying i think that’s

a cow

it’s like a wig and some makeup you put

on her

oh gosh trancy

trancy okay okay okay really

[Music]

okay

[Music]

just going to go ahead and just close

close the door probably i’m just gonna

i’m just gonna close the door like it’s

nothing against trancy but

all right i’m just gonna that does

compromise the quality

yeah we can just close the door and then

she’ll she’ll she’s very spirited she

loves expressing herself you know she’s

she’s named trancy because her parents

are really into

uh trans music they really love dj sammy

the guy who did

the um heaven cover of the brian adams

song

in like 2004 uh-huh

yeah i don’t think we really need to get

into trancy’s name origins

uh but yeah great that great that

she’s in your life and that your baby’s

sitting and that you’re showing you’re

you’re proving yourself

yeah and that i am the worst i am the

world’s best

babysitter yeah while you’re while your

fish tank

gets filled up with cement and that’s

what i wanted

that’s what i wanted okay it’s better

that way i didn’t think that i wanted

that before she did that

but it’s better that way okay

it’s heavier that way at the very least

it’s heavier that way

you can’t deny that no that’s that’s one

thing that i don’t

i don’t know that i could deny it does

sound like it’d be it’d be heavier

but uh so we can and i don’t want to

rush

things but i feel like we can move on

from

talking about trancey is that sure okay

yeah that’s fine that’s fine

okay you know

[Music]

all right uh cameron you said that we

have a guest today is that right

that’s right dr london we have i think

one of the best guests that any podcast

could possibly ever get

okay i think i think if you were to make

a short list

it would be like paulie shore

it would be like um you know

fisher stevens so what about would be

this guy

because i thought maybe getting you know

more sort of popular medical people on

like dr oz is a famous doctor

i don’t know if you’re aware doctor

that’s

i mean that’s like a movie from i mean

80 years ago

no sorry i love i mean i love that movie

though

not the wizard of oz i remember every

halloween being like oh

uh mom can we watch dr oz and she would

put it on

and we would sit down and watch it

and he’d be like these are the top 10

ways to lose weight

yeah so um anyway so this guest

uh oh yeah he’s amazing

okay yeah uh hello there oh hey

hey how’s it going uh yeah my name’s uh

my name is randy uh that’s randy grundy

oh hi hi hi randy is it all right if we

call you right hey

that’s that’s my name after all it’s

what my parents decided to uh

name me after i was done with the whole

uh berthen

thing yeah i mean is there anything that

you’d rather be called

because we can call you whatever you

want i mean

i mean i don’t know i’ve gotten pretty

attached to the whole randy thing you

can

randy’s fine randy will do okay

um and well so my name is dr

londonsmith.com and this is

our producer cameron hey hey hey

hey hey oh nice to meet both of you

yeah all right so so randy what uh what

brings you on the show

all right so here’s the thing i am a

wonderful inventor

i have made some excellent products over

the years um

the disinfectant for chairs that like

when people die in it you can pour this

over it and like it’s okay to sit in

yeah that was me i invented that febreze

is that what you’re referring to

well it’s like febreze but it’s like

medical grade febreze i work in medical

a lot with my inventions

oh wow you work in medical

that’s what it says on my business card

okay yeah thank you uh randy grundy he’s

medical

yeah yeah you’ve got a lot of a lot

scribbled on here actually

now randy i get a lot of information i

want to i want to hear

about i guess i’ve never really i

haven’t met a ton of

inventors other than myself really

where do you get your inspirations from

all right so here’s what i do and i do

this every single night

i have a ritual for my inventions i get

home around eight o’clock or so after

i’m done you know

hanging out with the guys shooting a few

rounds of pool

yeah you know how it is drinking some dr

peppers in the back alley

i get home and i call my mother and we

have a nice conversation maybe 15

20 minutes or so i hang up i go to bed

i bring a pen i bring some paper and

when i wake up at four in the morning i

write down the first thing that comes to

my mind

it’s like most of the time it’s garbage

but sometimes

magic happens like the disinfectant for

dead people chairs

yeah i feel like if i wrote what i

thought of whenever

i woke up in the middle of the night i

would i would write down something like

sleepy or very tired

oh that’s 90 of the papers that i’ve got

man

it’s just zzzz yeah but sometimes i try

to think of different ways to write the

z’s and maybe that’ll work but they just

wind up looking like that thing in grade

school that everybody wrote the

weird-looking ass

oh yeah the like stucy s or whatever

i never met that guy i don’t know he

didn’t he didn’t go to middle school

i want to know so we were talking about

your inventions how many inventions have

you

invented now how many have i invented or

how many successfully made it onto the

market that’s a very important

distinction

ooh i would love to know both okay so i

have invented

over 3072 different

things wow that is amazing

yes and how many of those have made it

made it to market the disinfectant for

the

chairs that people died in wow

okay i mean that’s incredible so that

that must be the best

is that is that the best of the best or

are there some that

you haven’t you haven’t that you’re like

really rooting for that haven’t made it

to market yet

well i’ve got a couple of things in mind

and one of them i’m actually pitching to

you

dr londonsmith.com today

oh hell yeah dr london i’ve been talking

about getting into products

and inventions for so long yeah you’ve

been i keep pitching stuff to this guy

and he just shoots it down i

i i’m all for this oh you can’t do that

you got to have an open mind when people

pitch things to you otherwise you’re

just going to be a really bad batter

you gotta swing at some of those pitches

i and that’s what i’m saying and he says

like i don’t have a glove i don’t have a

bat

like i’m just like trying to get ready

in the morning as i’m you know

throwing these ideas at him you know in

the form of a

a physical written on a basis i mean

it’s written on a baseball

and he he doesn’t do anything with them

i don’t even think he reads them after

they

you know hit his face well i pass out at

that point

uh anyway so randy could you tell us

some

yeah some of these some of these

inventions you’ve come up with all right

so some of the ones that i’ve come up

with in the past that i’m really sad

never made it to market i made this

uh ladder that you can climb on when you

want to get into a tree

but it’s only for trees wow

it’s a tree specific ladder what happens

if you try to use it on something that’s

not a tree oh it falls apart immediately

so wow so it and just to clarify a tree

isn’t using it to climb

oh no no it’s not a it’s not a ladder

for trees it’s a ladder

for trees for use on a tree

yeah okay okay did you really struggle

with that dr london i

i feel like that is a very stupid

question

yes you’ve pitched enough inventions to

that i i do have to really be specific

because

you know sometimes you’ve really well

anyway

we definitely we have to be unanimous

about this but i’m saying i’m all in

i say let’s let’s let’s go for it dr

london what do you think okay so

a lot of times someone will invent

something because

there’s an item that they want that

doesn’t exist

and they want to and that they they see

a demand for it

and they they fill that demand but a

ladder that is specific for use on trees

how does how is that better than one

that is general use that can also be

used on trees

look here’s the thing dr londonsmith.com

let me tell you about this and why it

works so incredibly well

let’s say that you’re getting a kitchen

together all right

all right and you gotta hire some cooks

okay you’re gonna want you’re gonna want

a dude who’s really good at bread you’re

gonna want a dude who’s really good at

soup you’re gonna want the guy that can

get those little

stains off of the dishes you know yes

you can’t just have

you want a salt you gotta have a salt

guy and it can’t be the same as the

pepper guy don’t be

cheap no but what i’m saying is

a kitchen is better when you have people

assigned to specific roles i feel that

ladders are just like

cooks so you’re wanting to maybe break

out to ladders for

all sorts of different reasons so you

start with a tree ladder maybe you have

a roof ladder

maybe you have like uh your painting

indoors ladder is that is that where

you’re kind of where you’re getting at

oh a whole line of them yeah wow that’s

incredible

so instead of just one stupid ladder

that could break at any time

you’ve got ladders that will only break

if they’re used for the wrong thing

exactly and can you imagine how

beautiful it’s going to look in your

garage

when you have six ladders right next to

each other all with their own specific

use

i mean this is this is incredible doctor

i’m giving the thumbs up dr london

thumbs up thumbs down

what do you vote okay so so one of those

things come on man what is it the

analogy you gave

with the cooks um yeah

so you’d like for a cook to be able to

function

as a you know a bread guy as whatever

like if one of them stops working for

whatever reason

if they’re fired if they move on to

another job you’d like

the other cook to be able to sub in

potentially

and so no oh man you’ve never you’ve

never been in a kitchen dr london

are you you’re saying that you’re gonna

have the soup guy working with

the bread guy i mean dr londub is this

guy serious

you think the salt guy is gonna be

handling paprika

i no way so what i’m saying is

you’d like if you think the honey guy

and the graham cracker guy are the same

guy

no there are two different guys who are

brought out every once in a while

okay so so i guess the issue i’m seeing

is that

once again if you’re if your cook falls

apart

just crumbles whenever they’re assigned

a new task

then i see an issue so anyway so with

the latter thing i think we might have

to move on to the next thing because

i would like to all right he’s not i’m

really sorry randy dr london here is not

it doesn’t seem to be going for it what

what else you got well you know what the

latter thing’s been rejected by plenty

of other people i don’t take it

personally

the thing that i came here to talk to

you about today all right let me let me

set this up for you

all right so this is a build-up all

right so imagine this

you’re at home okay i’m at home like you

said

okay i’m in a rat home and there are all

these rats

around that’s your situation sure you’re

in your rat home

so you’re woken up by the sound of the

rats and the rats are so loud because

you’re so hungover and

you go to your rat bathroom right

and you open up your medicine cabinet

and you see the tylenol and you’re like

okay but i don’t know if i want to do

too much of the tylenol

so you grab your pill splitter and you

split your tylenol in half

you following me so far yeah so these

are my rat portions am i a rat or is

this just a normal

am i the size of her okay so is am i

just in an apartment that

or a home or that just has a bunch of

rats is this i feel like

size down to rat size and then i’m

splitting it further or am i

splitting a giant pill for this is

exactly what i’m wondering

i feel like the forest may have gotten

lost for a couple of trees here

i feel like some salt chefs are taking

over the roles of bread chefs but uh

well i think this is actually a great

opportunity then to use the ladder that

works on trees

because then we can climb up high on the

tree and then we can look over the

forest and get in and

see our way home see this guy gets it

well yeah but then

at that point you’ve you kind of left

the rat’s

house all together they’re at home

okay so oh yeah that’s true yeah anyway

so okay

like you said you get your pill splitter

you split your tylenol your

yeah just just scale everything down

okay just assume that scale it all down

so you split your pill and then you

think you get your pill chef to split

to split your pills in half if you’re

fancy and rich sure

so you got your split pill and then

you’re thinking you know what this is a

wicked hangover i gotta

i gotta do the whole thing but now you

have two halves of a pill

what do you do you wanna take the whole

thing but you’ve only got two halves

why did i do that right yeah what would

how where where did i lose

my hat my hole

okay so i have the two pills i want to

get the two halves

yeah sorry the two halves of one pill

yeah would i go

am i white my wife is a like as a rat

okay you know what cameron does have to

have this kind of thing all

sorted before we can move on usually of

course of course

what’s cameron’s rat family situation

i just needed to know my wife i can

figure out the rest from there oh sure

no problem so uh

your wife is gonna be for the sake of

example

i’m gonna say human but rat sized

okay so perfect okay i’m the name that

came to me was henrietta i don’t know if

that’s

helpful i was just gonna say like rat

queen

yeah well is she is she a queen well

cameron

uh yeah well you’ve got some connections

in the rack community i’m uh i’m real

impressed with you maybe we can

trade some contact info later on yeah

this sounds great how long have you been

together

you and rat queen um yeah randy how long

have we been together oh i’m gonna say

maybe

uh two and a half years it still feels a

little fresh but you know it’s

the cracks are starting to show so to

speak that’s why you went out late to

the rat bar and you had all those rat

drinks

okay oh that’s why i got wasted and

that’s why we are in okay predicament

with absolutely one pill that you want

to take okay

so what do we do randy what what do we

do what you do

you put the pills back together with my

invention the pill

put together okay whoa

is that is it like a like some type of

paste or

it’s a it’s a very very thin layer of

non-toxic

glue you put it in the little machine

you press the button it makes a

little whoop sound and the next thing

you know you got the pill again

oh okay so it’s not like you’re just

gluing them together you put you have a

machine that does all this work for you

oh yeah i’m not just gonna sell glue

okay who am i elma okay that is what it

sounded like at first

and it looks like i can see your product

table over there and it does look like

just a sheet

over a bottle of glue as far as i can

tell

can we see the machine oh of course let

me uh remove the sheet here

and as you can see it’s in the shape of

a bottle of glue

but that’s just to throw you off oh okay

and

so whenever i guess

my next question would be or i guess one

of my questions would be

when you’re trying to sell this do you

have

a lot of i guess rat

creatures that that are looking to buy

this

because that i i can see how you might

might have a market in humans but i i

don’t even think i’ve seen a

a rat take a tylenol before have you

ever this is a good point by dr london i

i think the focus on rats

um might be hurting your product i think

maybe you need to think of a new um

marx species yeah a new species to focus

yeah

all that i’m gonna say is if you’ve ever

spent a morning with a hungover rat

you understand how important this

product is

yeah yeah i mean i guess that’s true i

haven’t done that so

i i don’t want to judge someone else’s

experience okay

i’m on board i say let’s go for it dr

london i’m giving the thumbs up okay

well once again

if it if this is asking for our money

our funding

then i would say no because once again i

don’t see the market

oh no it’s fine it’s fine i’m not

looking for money here what i’m looking

for is endorsement

okay okay well i i don’t

i i’m giving the thumbs up dr london

let’s get your approval let’s let’s get

that endorsement come on

i would actually i’d like to cut an ad

with you

promoting the pill put together if at

all possible

if you give it the thumbs up okay well i

for one thing i

you know i’ve i’ve said that i’m i kind

of i’m kind of

all specialties of doctor but one thing

i’m not is a veterinarian i’m not a rat

doctor

so um yeah we got to solve the rat thing

first so

i don’t know if there’s a way to like

i don’t want to be too presumptive but

is there

a rat based medical podcast that you

might

be a better to appeal to instead

that’s that’s my thinking if you want

the endorsement of someone who will

move product for you well i went to i

went to the

rat doc podcast and uh they they said no

if i can be honest with you i’m an

honest guy you can always trust randy

grundy

that’s what i always say so okay

and what were their reasons for not

endorsing it because for them

all of these giant problems seemed like

they’d be gone

in a sense because they’re not because

to us

we are giants in comparison

yeah they just they didn’t think there

was really a market for it they weren’t

sure if too many rats were going to use

it and i was like have you ever spent

the morning with a hungover rat and they

just

they didn’t follow that line as a as

well as you two did well they’re rats

they’re stupid i mean they’re not

they’re hey now that is a nice cameron

that was really mean

i don’t i

any creature stupid is kind of mean

i don’t think you can prove that i don’t

okay

oh okay you’re gonna okay well i did you

dylan can we

nope no okay all right

um okay well do you have any other

inventions randy anything that you’ve

been trying to

like anything maybe less rat specific uh

less rat specific so it’s it is that

going to be a no from you

for this one i think i’m going to have

to give i don’t want to give a thumbs

down

i think pretty neutral because

you know i it’s just not my field

so okay this is interesting so instead

being dr london approved can maybe on

the packaging it says

dr london is neutral on this and it’s

kind of a picture of him with his arms

crossed

not not frowning or pouting but but just

not smiling either just kind of just

looking straight ahead maybe it rains

maybe it’s a picture of him looking at

his phone you see i like that because

it’s not a negative review

it’s not a positive review but it’s

still endorsed it’s acknowledging that

it exists

dr london is saying hey i i have seen

this

and i know that it’s there if we

specifically put

this exists and that’s

all then that sounds that sounds

reasonable to me

okay so all right so we’ve agreed on dr

london’s

neutral endorsement of the problem oh

great so maybe uh maybe we could still

cut that ad then it just has a much more

neutral approach than it did uh in my

mind

perfect yeah i mean let’s do it

great great i actually i brought a

recorder with me right now if you just

kind of want to

maybe do a quick little rough cut of

this

okay okay yeah i i think this would be

oh fantastic

great great okay for this okay okay okay

all right yep yep sit down get

comfortable there we go there we go

okay yep rat kingdom

i’m just gonna do a little bit of a

quick intro here and then it’s

all you dr londonsmith.com are you ready

okay

all right hi it’s randy grundy here for

the pill put together your favorite rat

tylenol hungover solution

here to tell you all about it is dr

londonsmith.com

this product exists yes

and that’s a wrap fantastic thank you

thank you so much

so we’ll get a check that’s a rat

yeah that’s a rat

that’s a wreck that’s a rat

that’s good actually that’s a good

that’s a good slogan

i don’t wanna that’s a rat i don’t wanna

hand it to you or anything but

yeah dj dylan can you play back dr

london saying that’s a rat and you can

use that sound clip in your ads too

that’s a rat oh that’s good

that’s good i can use that in all of my

products it won’t make any sense but

i’ve got

drlundensmith.com backing me on this as

long as you i mean

pay us in your three you have 3 000 plus

inventions i mean surely some other ones

are rap-based right

to be fair i said i had 3072 inventions

3 000 of them are rat bass

then yeah you could use that audio for i

would say

it sounds like most of your inventions

the other 72 were ladders

yeah we’ve got dr london saying nothing

on ladders

yeah refusing to talk about it that’s a

shame you really got to get under the

ground level of this one

no i don’t i don’t think i do have you

tried pitching the latter idea to

anyone else yeah the rats didn’t like it

okay so it’s so the only the only two

you’ve gone to have been like a rat

uh people a rat kingdom of some kind and

that is accurate yes

okay i j just curious um

okay so any other any other

products that you’re any other

inventions that you’ve been trying to

kind of get out there or

all right so picture this

you’re sitting there and you’re in your

home

but you’re a bird okay

and like okay you wanna groom your

feathers but

even though your head can rotate all the

way back you just can’t reach

those feathers in the middle of your

back

so what you do is you mount this little

thing that i have this little strip of

sandpaper that is in the shape of

a tree to make you feel even more at

home and you just rub your little back

feathers on it and

you’re good do you have do you have this

invention to show us

i do actually i keep three of them with

me at all times in case of emergency one

for me one for whoever i’m talking to

and one for promotion

perfect yeah let me let me see that

thing yeah here you go if you just you

can just stick it maybe uh right there

under that little

poster of like the lungs yeah well i i

know what’s

meant for a bird and so it’s very small

but i just wanted to try it on my back

dr london can you can you scratch my

back with that yeah

boy well it’s okay so here’s

here’s the issue i’m seeing with it this

is meant for birds

specifically well it’s me it’s designed

with birds in mind

because which is the smoking on it but

so it is

sand paper so normally i would think to

get

past the feathers on a bird it would

have to be like

you’d have to have bristles or something

you know like a brush

but this seems like it would just the

sandpaper would just

smooth right on over the feathers oh i

guess i didn’t realize that dr london

was like a bird expert all of a sudden

yeah i didn’t realize that you had your

doctorate in birdology as well

okay yeah this guy just uh knows

everything about birds all of a sudden

he’s just decided oh he’s from

bird county florida you know two out of

five birds

from the bird zone two out of five birds

loved it

that’s all i’m saying okay i i guess i

can’t speak for

for them or whatever or in a thought all

right well i’m saying

we’re gonna buy it um and dr london is

going to endorse it it is just sandpaper

then

declare when i cut it out in the shape

of a tree come on

yeah but he cut it for you well i kind

of mcdonald it’s just a hamburger you

can buy a hamburger at the grocery store

but someone’s preparing it for you

that’s what you’re paying for you’re

paying for the service

it’s that special grundy touch

okay so really what you’re selling is

the randy grundy brand

the randy grundy experience if you will

yeah

so let’s let’s record an ad for this one

too oh yeah yeah sounds good sounds good

okay i’ve got the recorder

okay i guess i can do another this

exists but i mean yeah dr london you

have a few seconds here to make up your

mind on what you’re gonna say you get to

choose okay

but uh yeah randy go ahead start your

recording all right and here we go

hi this is randy grundy for the

feathered scratcher

2000 and here to tell you all about it

is my goodgoodbuddydoctorlondonsmith.com

this is literally just sandpaper

and that’s a rat that is a rat that’s a

wrap perfect

london can we get you saying like that’s

a bird

that’s a bird i don’t know if that

really works as well

oh and you know what we might get sued

by the portlandia people yeah

put a well can’t say it can’t put that

on it

put that on excuse me yeah just say yeah

let’s let’s

hear you saying put that on it

put that and we’ll just use that okay

okay oh wait wait i’m sorry can i can i

get that clean

get a clearer one yeah put that on it

perfect and actually that seems

too valuable actually now that i think

about it

um so that one we are going to charge

extra for that

sound bite that last one because that

had a tune

to it i what if i gave you a royalty cut

for my next three inventions oh i don’t

expect much from souls

i i i hear sold sold

whatever you want i’m giving you a blank

check no

dude dj dj ellen can you play though i’m

giving you a blank check

sound effect no no not that one oh i

think that’s legally binding

oh it is that’s why we have it well they

the amount of legal fees we had to go

through to get that

to be legally binding oh

okay well it’s special i don’t i don’t

want to interrupt here but

are we going to have to i mean we’re

going to have to get to the chore wheel

i know i was at a certain point i was

about to say the same thing there is a

chore wheel situation

and randy grundy i don’t

i don’t want to have to like involve you

in this

no no no randy needs to be involved yeah

i like to be in the loop okay

so okay so over the past you know we’ve

been we’ve been doing this podcast for

over a year

and during that time you know we’ve kind

of put off these chores

uh they’re they’re just little tasks

some of them are you know community

service oriented

or uh just you know errands we need to

run

and so we’ve we’ve put together all of

these

tasks each agenda onto a wheel that we

spin every week

and so now it’s it’s simple it’s easy we

just spin it

and then each of us contributes a part

to it and then we and then

it’s done for for for that week so

yeah and dr lynn do you want to go ahead

and spin it i’ve been spinning it so

much

i think you you’ve earned it yeah yeah i

can i can do that

[Music]

okay and it says death

row meals so

okay we we do have to yeah this one

we’ve got to get this information to our

lawyers for our will

yeah if we ever if the way we’re going

to die is from being on

death row it has to we have to get this

appropriate now yeah

because it takes a long time for it to

get through the process you have to file

it now

because the bureaucracy will you know

so before the podcast we went ahead and

we wrote down

what our final meals would be if we were

on death row and i thought to make this

fun

because you know chores can be fun too

we’re gonna all just

stick our hand in the hat we’re gonna

read whatever we pull out

we’re gonna read whatever final meal is

on the piece of paper and then at the

end

we can uh we can guess whose is whose

does that sound all right randy uh yeah

yeah that sounds excellent i’m i’m ready

yeah and it makes sense too and it’s

easy to understand because each of us

has already

written in one of these randy you wrote

one obviously i wrote one

of course cameron did we had a few

people on the street

that we met write some as well i don’t

expect us to get one of those but who

knows

so all right let’s each draw okay dr

london do you want to go first

yeah okay so for final meal on death row

and this is you know obviously just

eventuality protection thing

okay all right so it says

um one of those big cakes that a person

can fit into

and inside is a person

and whenever it comes time for the meal

to come to them

then they open the lid and hand you a

key to ace

to escape okay yeah just escape was

kind of spelled weird um and

then in parentheses it says you’ll use

this to

escape the the prison and you’ll you

won’t

be on death row anymore so that i i

whoever is this was

thought that they could just get out of

this with some sort of an invention

randy randy is there any chance that you

wrote this one

oh ah my concern

you don’t you don’t have to reveal you

don’t have to reveal this is personal

okay

okay it’s just it’s a sensitive i don’t

know i think we should i think we should

reveal after each one right okay

no either way either way works randy are

you comfortable talking about this i

know this is a very personal sense oh i

might be confessing to a few things here

and i don’t know why i wrote that down

if i was so worried about it but uh

yeah that was me okay okay i mean

this is just showing i mean can we

endorse that idea dr london can you

endorse how that’s a genius idea

oh real quick real quick all right i hit

the recorder

hi this is randy grundy for the cake

that gets you out of prison

here to tell you more about it is my

friend dr londonsmith.com this

is a key to escape

that’s a rat that’s a rat

okay um let’s see

randy would you like to go next read

whatever

uh sure sure yeah so uh let’s see i’m

looking at the paper here let me get my

uh let me get my readers on

okay it says a totino’s potty pizza

that has been microwaved just long

enough to be soggy and rubbery

and then is coated in hot sauce and

ranch dressing

okay now i’m trying to think which one

of you two

would have that as their final meal

that’s a fair debate

i my my line of thinking here is that

cameron you’ve we’ve talked chefs

we’ve had the chef talk that’s right i

know you know

how food works you wouldn’t do this

that’s right

so my guess it’s gotta be you doctor

londonsmith.com gotta be dr

london’s okay well i mean

i feel like you’re cheating a little bit

because it’s also the meal that i have

spread out in front of me

and yeah it’s kind of my go-to and if i

don’t have it i don’t feel like i’ve

really

finished my day it’s closure

i get that yeah you say we’re cheating

but you’re

you’re the one who chose to eat that

right now we’re the ones who are

supposed to be guessing your

look you talked all about eating a food

and i’m like man this is making me

hungry

what else was i going to do yeah i guess

that’s

no let’s let’s have our final meals talk

oh well you’re bringing out your desire

for a final meal

yes obviously fine you got

a cameron cameron how about you read

yours well i guess we know

already that mine the one i’m going to

read is going to be mine

no it could be any ones it could be any

ones uh remember someone on the street

yeah that’s true let me let me let me

fish in there

all right it says garbage out of the

garbage can

i don’t i mean i don’t i don’t really

remember because we

like we wrote all these down but then we

all you know when we took like those

roofies right after

so i don’t really remember what i had

written down so this could be anyone

we took you took them for all of us you

kept saying this one’s for you

took it this one’s for you then you took

another one i wouldn’t remember i took

three roofies london you could have

split those and put those back together

oh man if only i had done that

in any case uh it’s garbage out of the

garbage can

that does sound like something i would

have wrote but that also sounds like

something that someone off the street

would have written

so you know let’s just call it a wash

it could have been anything could have

been anywhere i mean have we have we

completed this chore have we is this

have we have we

i think so okay great

all right yeah finally get another one

of these done it’s

it’s so bad if you let the chores pile

up so i’m glad we are taking care of

them

all right well if that’s um i feel like

we’ve covered

you know a lot of inventions today randy

grundy

i feel like we’ve covered a lot of what

you had to bring to the table um

you know uh it it seems

it seems like you’ve at least gotten

some constructive criticism

maybe how rat-based your future products

should be or maybe should not well i’ve

got the slogan that’s a rat now so

my future’s cut out for me yeah

that’s alright that’s a rat

so um anyway uh randy do you have

anything

else you’d like how can i listeners you

know hear more from you

or do you have anything else to promote

yeah yeah i did want to talk about this

whenever i’m

whenever i need some advice on how to

communicate

better with the rats what they might be

into

other rat-based things i listen to my

favorite rat-based podcast

dead waves dead waves is an improvised

paranormal podcast

where a psychic a ghost and a demon take

the problems

that their listeners have over the phone

and they try to solve them

okay how is and that’s rat based is that

specifically rat baby art

is all about interpretation dr

londonsmith.com

[Music]

he wouldn’t know a thing about that

trust me he’s the

he’s the the evil villain trying to shut

down the art center in

all movies from like 1987 to 19. oh

that’s the worst

okay but yeah uh they give advice to

their listeners

they make funny jokes and it’s a good

time you should check it out on

uh apple podcasts stitcher

spotify we got they got those

okay yeah just your phone yeah

okay all right well that sounds great so

that’s dead waves radio

uh just dead waves okay yeah

okay just dead waves but it is like

you’d find it the way that you would

find a pipe

think of a podcast and you’re halfway

there that’s a rat

okay okay

uh that yeah that’s it sounds like

that’s a rat so

um thank you to randy grundy for coming

on the podcast

no no thank you all right and thank you

to uh cameron our producer

hey actually we haven’t heard from

transy in a while that’s kind of odd

right

yeah i was thinking so too but i didn’t

want to okay let me just

bring it up here i’m just gonna open the

door here

it’s nothing

it’s just a cold

wind blowing through

should i investigate this or i should

just leave this alone right

i should just shut the door and leave

this alone

yeah i don’t think it’s you know let’s

let’s not mess with that

yeah you know what i i i let her handle

herself on all the other stuff she was

dealing with

i’m just gonna i’m just gonna go ahead

and just shut the door here

all right okay

okay um all right so yeah

as i said thank you to cameron uh thank

you to did you do

the hoes oh you can’t do that you gotta

have an open mind when people pitch

things to you otherwise you’re just

gonna be a really bad batter

you gotta swing in some of those [ __ ]

you gotta swing at some of those [ __ ]

swinging some of those bringing some of

those swinging some of those pitches

swinging some of those

swinging some of those swinging some of

those pitches

[Music]

that’s a rat

[Music]

that’s a rat

[Music]

that’s

my name is dr londonsmith.com and this

has been

the jock doc podcast see ya

there’s glass everywhere you lift your

head up

wincing in pain at the various portions

of your face that have been sliced

and even slightly diced by the

transparent shards

you shake your head in reaction to it

for a moment but even that slight motion

invites a tiny breeze that makes every

pin prick that much sharper

heightened still though it was worth it

when you made that fat joke about the

guy who

you know used to be fat but then got

really fit

and and skinny so now it really just

exposed you for the bully that you

were before that rather than finding a

legitimate current punch line

well the only way to recover from that

situation was to say

and now and jump out the window

you save face if only

maybe in the metaphorical sense since

you’re actually face

is likely deeply scarred at this point

speaking of deeply scarring jokes don’t

forget to leave a five star review of

the jock doc podcast

in which you describe your own

unfortunate attempt at a joke that ended

just revealing your true flawed

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listening

Jock Doc Podcast

66: Sarcoidosis/Dr. Mark Budro (feat. Matt Naas)

September 14, 2020 London Smith

https://www.vulture.com/news/this-week-in-comedy-podcasts/

Oh hey kids

you are about to listen to a comedy

podcast

that means that none of this

is medical advice if you need medical

advice

or medical care please contact your

doctor

previously on the jock doc podcast

it’s kind of sad that this might be the

last time i see him you know

um why is that are you gonna are you

leaving well

i’m gonna be taking a leave of absence

introducing your host dr

london smith

[Applause]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

dr londonsmith.com

[Music]

i would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners

we’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as functional asplania and latte

so i will try to temper my terminology

to a simpler one in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron

hey dr london aren’t you gonna aren’t

you gonna say anything

yeah so so and i don’t like i like for

each of our episodes to be standalone

but on our last episode cameron

told us about this journey he was about

to go on

because he realized he hadn’t traveled

recently or this year

last last episode i had decided that i

hadn’t traveled this year at all which

you know was super weird and i just

hated it

and so i was thinking this podcast is

just holding me down i’m not even

traveling anymore

for no other reason than this podcast

and so

i quit the job and i traveled around the

world

and uh my plan was instead of traveling

you know uh like a like a hot air

balloon or a boat or a plane

i was gonna be the first person to

travel the entire world in a box car

racer

and so of course i took it up to the

peak of mount everest

i rode the boxcar racer down the

mountain

uh which gathered enough momentum to go

around the world

and uh faster than any cops could stop

so you actually that’s what i did dr

london i’m back

i do you know why you were not supposed

to be able to travel

like that i feel like that is

entirely irrelevant i know that

americans are not allowed

in a lot of places right now no because

of the

the virus you could be spreading well i

think i think

the reason it’s so easy to spread is

because it’s on planes

and since mine isn’t a box car racer i

believe that means it’s

coveted proof did you ever

say like did you interact with people on

your journey

do you speak to them did you touch

people at all

ew i yes i took

lovers is that what you’re asking god

anyway oh that’s not what i was asking

anyway

it does answer the question i went on

this amazing journey i wrote a boxcar

racer down

mount everest and i didn’t get hurt at

all

and don’t google my name or

anything just don’t google anything and

that is exactly what happened

you didn’t get hurt emotionally

i nothing happened i just did exactly

what i set out to do

don’t google it and just don’t look it

because i did i did exactly that i went

to mount everest boxcar racer don’t look

it up

okay that’s our producer cameron so also

with us

is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

i i went on this amazing journey i wrote

a boxcar racer down mount everest and i

didn’t get hurt at all and

don’t google my name or anything just

don’t google anything

and that is exactly what happened

don’t google it because i did i did

exactly that i went to mount everest

don’t look it up don’t google

it and just don’t look it up

don’t don’t google it don’t don’t google

[Music]

and just don’t look it up just don’t

look it up

and later cameron tells me we can expect

a special guest

that’s right dr london a guest so

special that they

won’t google uh

my name and any of the countries and

mount everest they’re not going to look

that up and see anything other than my

boxcar racer adventure

yes i’m going to go ahead and google it

cameron you keep insisting that i

don’t but no i mean

i don’t even think google’s on today i

think it’s i think they usually take

mondays off it’s like italian

restaurants

cameron

you associate yourself with the yeah so

can’t okay

camera producer cameron okay wow

so you did get to mount everest i go

no i was there yeah so that’s one of the

so one of the headlines is camera man

speaks to horse

on everest yep that all of that is yup

absolutely okay

and then this is where maybe the you

know the where the media

who was just trying to drum up a story

you know maybe their story differs a

little from mine i guess

um okay so it says you can’t

beat a dead horse but you can

carry it across the world wow

so so did

okay from reading it it sounds like the

the horse

that you use to to take you to the top

of mount everest

to you know to go down get that incline

and

travel the world it died during the

process

somewhere and you you kept it with you

i guess maybe for the extra weight

i wrote it down what about the

i got the car well i just i don’t know i

mean it was kind of falling apart

and it got really wet because like the

snow and stuff

which was like really cold well what

about

the dead horse surely that got cold

after a while

no i got i got into the carcass of the

dead horse and i wrote it down like a

sled

and that has gotten that banned from

most countries in the world yeah well

i’m just

on the practical side of how that worked

for transport is what i’m wondering

because

that’s not you before you were talking

wheels and it already sounded it didn’t

sound feasible

to travel by boxcar around the world

because of

just no no engine no the horse

the horse didn’t make it around the

world london it just made it down the

mountain

okay and then i got banned from every

other mountain that exists

i’m not allowed on mountains anymore

oh so you didn’t make this journey

you made it to the bottom of a mountain

via dead horse yeah

i mean i made it to the top of mount

everest i feel like that’s an

accomplishment

anyway i’m back all i’m trying to say is

i’m back on the podcast

rejoice fans of the show

even though i left i have returned

yeah and so yeah we should leave it on

that note that you climbed mount everest

that is a

huge feat most people don’t do it thank

you i sure haven’t

okay but a dead horse okay uh but

anyway before we move on i should

address a bit of listener feedback

i found this message printed word by

word on every article of clothing

after doing my laundry at the local

laundromat the note reads quote

i’m renting a room for one female no

animals no boyfriends no smoking no

drinking no drugs no movies in

california 900

no bathroom no kitchen no closet end

quote

so so first of all to this listener

thank you here for

reaching out to us here the jock talk

podcast

uh so to this listener i’m you may

want to reconsider your place of

residence if it has no bathroom

especially if it’s costing you nine

hundred dollars you know well i

you know dr london i i you know not to

disagree with you here

um but i actually recently spent some

time

in a certain place that didn’t have a

bathroom or a closet or all the things

you typically

think of um when you’re inside a place

um and you’re referring to the dead

horse

yeah yeah i mean it was the horse

carcass i was riding down the mountain

yeah

yeah but that you know that didn’t have

all of the like frilly like

20 20 millennial technology like uh

oh i need a keurig with oh do you have

donut shops sir that’s the only keurig i

can drink

yeah but it’s so you’re comparing

the inside the carcass of a horse

too that wasn’t to you that was to the

guy yeah the person demanding that they

have a cure egg

yeah don’t shop

yeah the hypothetical okay so anyway in

my opinion

you don’t really want to compare your

place of residence

in general to living inside of a horse

carcass in terms of

you know if you’re paying rent uh some

in in survival situations

these these kind of things may happen

but um

i also understand that finding a place

to live on a budget can be terribly

difficult

and so we do all have to work within our

means

and so maybe 900 for

i’ll rent the carcass for 750 utilities

included

does it have utilities included

so electricity plumbing uh

i mean the utilities are included so

they i mean i would imagine it would

have to have all that

otherwise i couldn’t say that right

okay all right well anyway to this

listener thank you for listening

now for today’s medical topic

sarcoidosis

sarcoidosis is a chronic systemic

granulomatous disease characterized by

non-caseating granulomas

and this often involves multiple organ

systems

so granulomas are an organized

collection of macrophages

and macrophages are of course a part of

your body’s immune system

so it’s sort of a granuloma is like a

small ball of inflammation

cornering whatever pathogen they are

targeting in sarcoidosis

lungs are almost always involved

sarcoidosis

occurs most commonly in the

african-american population

especially women um and 75 percent of

cases occur when the individual is under

40 years of age

so this is a relatively young patient

uh often of african-american descent

that clinton when i go to the doctor and

i tell him about

the small ball of like i don’t know the

small inflamed ball

inside of me he tells me that’s a bad

thing

yeah well it’s i don’t know if you have

sarcoidosis but

yeah it’s it’s not it’s not a i wouldn’t

call it a good thing

it’s not i didn’t i don’t know what that

is it’s from you know spraying like axe

deodorant down my

throat and then lighting a match and it

kind of goes whoosh

but sometimes if i’ve eaten something

you know like a you know

ball like that that’ll catch on fire too

and the doctor says you know just stop

doing that

yeah what what ball thing are you

when you when i say jawbreaker

okay when i say inflammation it’s called

jawbreaker

no not if i swallow it whole

yeah i beat jawbreakers

so whenever i talk about inflammation

that’s like

i guess an easy example is like a

mosquito bite how it’s

raised and red and warm

you know so that’s that’s an example of

what inflammation looks like

so i’m not talking about a literal fire

so if you were

spraying axe body spray on a jawbreaker

lighting it on fire and throwing it down

your throat

yeah yeah that’s that’s different from

what i’m referring to in this

oh okay sorry sometimes with all the

like jargon and stuff i can’t keep track

i thought okay

yeah go ahead go ahead don’t let me

interrupt again okay so

clinically patients can present with

constitutional symptoms

like malaise fever anorexia and weight

loss

in the lungs patients may have dry cough

or shortness of breath

especially with exercise and 25

of cases patients may have rashes or

plaques but especially

oh no you weren’t pushing direct

at our heart yeah

why did you swallow that now a diet

yeah i just why now guys

hung it down

okay so i’m just cameron

in 25 percent of cases patients may have

rashes or plaques but especially one

type called erythemanidosum

patients may also have eye problems like

anterior posterior uveitis which may

result in some

significant visual impairment in five

percent of cases

the heart may be affected causing

arrhythmias uh

and conduction disturbances such as

heart block and sudden death

in the musculoskeletal system patients

may have

body and joint aches i get another

girl i can push it on down

i i’m not gonna let you up swallow

another jawbreaker hoping to push it

down because

this is gonna end up in your stomach at

best

and at worst and i think more likely

you’ll just have two

jawbreakers stuck in your throat

do you see why that’s not good

yeah so in the musculoskeletal system

patients may have

body and joint aches and bone lesions in

the nervous system

some cases include cranial nerve seven

involvement

leading to bell’s palsy or optic nerve

dysfunction papilloedema

or peripheral neuropathy diagnosis is

based on a combination of clinical

radiographic and histological findings

on chest x-ray the hallmark of

sarcoidosis

is bilateral hyaluronopathy but

that is not specific only seen in you

know about half of cases

um angiotensin converting enzyme or ace

is elevated in the serum in about 50 to

80 percent of patients

patients can also have hypercalceuria

and hypercalcemia

that means increased calcium in the the

blood and urine uh definitive diagnosis

requires

right what

i can call kidney drugs right

yeah yeah it can cause kidney stones

that’s increased calcium in the urine

can do that

um but i think some of these other

symptoms that i mentioned might be more

noticeable

so so on biopsy non-casing granulomas

can be seen

but this once again must be coupled with

clinical findings to make the diagnosis

uh pulmonary function tests are also

used and they’ll show decreased lung

volumes and decreased

fev1 over every cv ratio

in terms of treatment most cases of

sarcoidosis fortunately resolve

or significantly improve spontaneously

in two years

and do not require treatment so cameron

you had sarcoidosis

fortunately the likelihood is that it

would at least

improve within a couple years but

it sounds like this is just a jawbreaker

in the other cases systemic

corticosteroids are the treatment of

choice for

very symptomatic ones methotrexate is

also used in patients with

progressive disease that is refractory

to corticosteroids

now cameron i would say you should not

be taking those medications that i just

said it’s

i think you should just stop swallowing

jawbreakers

and especially do not light anything on

fire before

putting in your mouth uh

[Music]

i got a a like

kind of her eyes

i i heard i heard something about copper

eyes

oh compromise compromise okay um

i don’t i don’t think this is something

to compromise on cameron like

maybe just lick the jawbreaker have you

tried that

uh then a larger would be winning

i gotta start down

here just with your finger is he your

friend here

no no no no

[Music]

no no no no no no

okay

and so i think now i should be good for

all the

likes i won’t get like all the stuff you

said right

yeah so in the future you know with

jawbreakers they can’t break your jaw if

they never

enter your jaw have you ever thought of

that well then where would they go

well if you lick them you bypass

the oh what is with you today

okay i’m i’m sorry yeah i it might sound

strange first with the

the the people you met just

just just stop just stop okay okay yeah

we can

we can move on from there

[Music]

all right uh cameron you said that we

have a guest today is that right

that is right dr london a guest i’m very

very excited about

all right uh hello there

hey hey thank you so much for having me

thank you thank you sure yeah

thank you for your name name’s uh dr

mark boudreau i don’t know

how the radio thing works here so i’m

just going to go for it

there it is dr mark boudreau i’m here

mark i agree appreciate it i mean dr

boudreau as i should say what uh what

what brings you to the show

i’m here to talk about my uh my new book

it’s called haha health

how laughter is the cure for everything

and other observations

okay other observations so this is

like sort of an observation based study

you conducted

yeah well the the beginning of

the book is my personal development

story

uh i was a doctor of some um

good acclaim i i did okay over here i i

practiced medicine in southeastern what

does that mean but i

would like to have some acclaim do

doctors receive like trophies and

stuff well doctors

you know where you you go to a hospital

and it’s like uh

oh don’t go to that guy but then they’ll

be like go

okay so it’s more word-of-mouth there’s

not like a doctor award ceremony called

like the donkeys or something that’s

like the espys

which is the only award ceremony i wish

oh i wish

oh you’d be sweeping up there give me a

document

give me a donkey that’s all i want

give me a donkey give me a donkey

that’s all i want

[Music]

well some people who know about it might

might be made aware of it and invited to

the donkeys but you’re saying you want

to be

invited to the donkeys too dr london

well i

may not have gotten an award but no a

few of us have been to the donkeys and

it’s

no it’s it’s a big deal but uh no i want

to hear more about

uh dr mark boudreau’s um

[Music]

i want to hear more about this book his

acclaim

oh his acclaim well so the beginning of

the book the observations are

my observations as a doctor before my

accident

uh you see i i have had a

pretty severe brain trauma happen to me

uh that took me

off of the front lines um and put me

behind the scenes

in uh testing so i have what is refer

yeah that’s okay it’s okay i have what

is uh referred to as pseudo

bulber effect uh which is uh also called

pba

you know you may have heard it in in the

text it’s pretty rare but uh

it is un uh i cannot control uh

fits of laughter or crying so you can

just imagine

that i did not want to be at the bedside

giving bad news

and then uh cracking up that would uh

yeah

could not do that might work yeah i mean

especially if they can get

something i mean funny right i mean

exactly you’re telling me a guy comes in

there and he’s got like he slipped on a

banana peel

and he came in because he he smashed his

face into a pie

you’re telling me you’re not gonna laugh

at that are you kidding me

oh my god

[Laughter]

so you can imagine i can’t be at the

bedside thinking about pies

because it’s all over for me and then uh

so what

it took me uh to research and that’s uh

that those are the observations is uh

how one man one doctor could

take a look at himself and be so

self-aware that he knew

that he had to figure out is laughter

the best medicine

and how could you scientifically prove

this

and i think this book uh really

emphatically answers the question

okay so uh

i i guess what what what have been your

findings what have you seen as

the answer to that question it’s

something it’s a

it’s a mixed bag okay boy

i guess i’m sorry is it is it okay if we

laugh with you or is that

that healthy it makes me feel more

comfortable okay because

it’s a it’s a bit of a so you you

publish the book when the when the

findings were just a mixed bag

you were like this book is ready yeah

not like let’s do more research

no you know i had a very aggressive time

to finish wow um yeah i

i it’s published through amazon and they

are yeah huge stuff

sticklers about deadlines when you’re

publishing

yeah they want that book well um if you

order it on the prime

then it has to be there by monday right

has to be there by monday so that is you

know

i pulled all the punches no punches

pulled actually no punch take a step

back here

so if if we’re including prime shipping

of this are you saying that you listed

the book before you had written it

and then basically gave yourself two

days to write it so it can ship in time

correct that’s i mean that’s genius well

you know i i did not want to write a

book that nobody wanted

so i wrote when i put it on there i was

surprised at how many people pre-ordered

so i i had to get right now like

right away you know i would like to hear

about these findings i mean dr london

are you interested in this is this

something are you too skeptical you and

your

your uh oh i only care about the pills

and the the

shots and the medicine and the 5g or

whatever

yes no the um you know laughter positive

outlook all these things can be

uplifting that’s why you know on rare

occasion we even

sometimes have a little bit of levity on

this podcast

sometimes i’ll you know i’ll make a

small

joke and uh win name it

name a time yeah i’m trying to think of

just a single

a single time you haven’t had a stick

so far up one way that it’s coming out

another way

tell me yeah no i’m trying

well now that i’m on the spot i’m trying

to think like knock knock

knock knock joke did i mean for my sake

you don’t have to do you don’t have to

hash this out here i

i no i mean doctors are we’re

we’re funny people period we’re just

we’re a hoot

we’re a holler you know you have to be

to be uh as

as crazy as we are we’re you sound like

a hoot for sure i’m loving your whole

thing right now

and you’re bringing a good vibe and i

like how you’re laughing at everything

which makes me feel good

which then also makes me feel hotter

which is nice

but dr london over here he does not have

a funny bone in his body

i don’t know if he has bones in his body

because that’s the only way he looks

that’s the only way that would explain

why he looks the way he looks

is if he was just sort of a sack of

organs

yeah i that’s

i mean my nickname in middle school was

organ

but i’m sorry what were you saying

doctor so

i i mean i i don’t

know if not having skeletal

systems inside of your body is good it

seems like that would be bad but that

would be a test

that you could read about in my book

where um

oh that’s in there luckily i i i wrote

it in two days but it’s from a

lifetime of research so the the the

being without a skeleton part that is in

the book

i yes i i do a big part of on

encephalopods um and i just want to see

can i make an

octopus uh laugh by playing him lenny

bruce i would

and then hope hopefully making making

him

i’d love to hear an excerpt from this

book i mean dr london are you interested

in this

yeah yeah if you could just read a

little bit a passage for us

yeah yeah i’ll read uh this is

you know i’ll i’ll leave i think i’ve

already blown the encephalopod thing but

i have another uh chapter called uh will

the leg

grow um so here we go um here we go um

um time marsden

didn’t have a leg oh what a bummer

but luckily he came into my lab

with a dream and a case of the giggles

this the experiment was set up thusly

he would sit in the chair i would play

him the great

muppet caper and we would see what

happens

he found the movie enjoyable but did not

laugh once

i knew that i had to pull out the trump

card

meaning old school whoa

well once he got to you’re my boy blue

the giggles were just flowing

but you know what wasn’t flowing new leg

laughter does not cure loss of limb

wow so the

this book is filled filled with

anecdotes that’s a huge

finding i mean my god i feel like the

medical community would be

reeling with this information okay so

you’re telling me that no not a single

scene in old school made this guy’s leg

grow back

not one and he he was really laughing

and with every laugh i would be like

think about your leg think about your

leg please

and then like that would bring him back

down so then i would like have to remind

rewind the part with you or my boy blue

and that would make him laugh again and

i’d be like the leg

think the leg wow and that just

nothing i mean this is an amazing

scientific finding doctor this is

incredible

i can’t i can’t help but think so you’re

whenever a patient falls ill

you chose rather than to to

treat them you chose to

just give them something funny to watch

something that you think is funny to

watch

is that right

i guess you could say that yeah that’s

well let me rewind let me rewind let me

read because

again i am not at the bedside

this is not at the bedside i am

a research scientist now a doctor

research site so they’re coming to me

this is not me

going hey i’ve got the cure for you

it’s hey looking for people that want to

cure stuff

and you make it give you some give you

some good really yeah it sounds more

it’s like hey do you want to watch old

school with me

yes i mean it’s a great movie yeah

there’s no denying it’s a great movie i

i’m not there’s no judgment in that at

all but

that’s essentially what you’re asking

people is like hey do you want to watch

old school later

right well and and but the underlying

scientific thing that we were trying to

see is

could the laughter cure

major ailments and for the most part

it is hit and miss it is

wow very much to hear i mean is there a

is there a hit

example that you have where it’s just

i’m sorry wait wait i want to clarify

something first

so forgiving clinical study

you’re trying to you know focus in on

like say you have this treatment

laughter and you’re trying to find out

does this specific treatment cure and

then you would try it against a placebo

or a control and so in this case

did you have patients who were you know

were these patients treated medically at

the same time

or were they only given laughter you see

if i didn’t have a brain injury i would

have thought of that

oh i guarantee that that now i remember

control group yeah the injury did not

just

cause this uncontrollable laughing and

crying it’s

it just kind of made you stupid right

whoa hey i still have feet oh yeah

no no okay i mean i don’t know i don’t

know what’s there or not boy

no there is there’s enough there’s

enough i

they give they can’t take away a

doctorate if you’re not practicing

real medicine except except it sounds

a little bit like you still are trying

to replace medicine and

i am a clinical technician trying to

solve problems through watching

yeah which is admirable i mean i he’s

doing more for the world than you are dr

london he’s actually

pushing new research for the forefront

we we have figured out that it does it

does not

cure uh major major uh

uh renal failure 100 ineffective

against renal failure uh um

it is terrible i wanna i really wanna

ask

like the the control group i guess the

situation

with renal failure was it old school

again or did you play something else for

him

well i always save old school for a

second

you know i’ll i’ll start with something

lighter yeah like lenny bruce

something like buddy bruce yeah loosen

them up with some lenny bruce

you know and then i might play the

muppets

and then uh you know when i can if i see

that that’s not really what they’re

looking for

boom right right right any muppet movie

or is that

is it always muppet caper the funniest

of them all

so okay well so i actually

i was one of those people who ordered

this book you know right off the bat it

sounded very

it sounded fascinating to me um would

you mind if i read

a little excerpt from it from a chapter

that i found to be

you know fairly interesting yep oh oh

please uh yeah

i mean anything that gets people

interested yeah so this comes from the

chapter entitled

good samaritan law all right so

as we know by good samaritan law

you can be the first person on site

at an accident and intervene

medically and not be held legally

responsible

so with that in mind i began

my experiment

patient was bleeding out

i brought my portable dvd player

keep going i set it up this is the best

this is the best i made sure the

headphones were properly in place

okay that’s important and this guy is

crying

the man shouts for his wife

i shush him

give a good sh you kind of like you

gotta look and i point

to the screen on my portable dvd player

yup just check this out and he continues

to bleed

and i take notes

and eventually the ambulance arrives

there

i pack up my portable dvd player

and i run correct okay so so that’s

that’s the end of

just that passage and actually i mean dr

london if you look on the

other side of that page are the notes he

was taking down and their notes about

the movie

right yeah i mean you’ve clearly seen

both

i mean i mean this lenny bruce dvd

the muppet caper and old school probably

hundreds of times at this point but you

gotta

have a fantastic comedy i love it i love

this attitude

it’s bringing it to such a stuffy let me

tell you

but i cut you off uh dr london before

you could read the

you know the final part where you know

and and we conclusively

prove that uh laughter does not cure

hemorrhaging yeah

yeah that was that was that was a

successful

that was a successful application of the

scientific isn’t this the scientific

method this is incredible

i i well dr london actually real quick i

do have a question

um you know you clearly are a huge fan

of old school

who was the best who was directed by

todd phillips who also directed

a movie recently last year

joker that is about the same sort of

disease that you have does that is that

is that movie did that movie speak to

you in any kind of way i’m not a real

drama fan

that would make sense i don’t even know

why i asked so i

i have to i have to be honest i have to

tell you i i haven’t seen it but oh

boy it sounds like a good one i mean uh

i mean if todd phillips made uh made

that i mean

he made those hangover movies which i

mean eventually

when my dvd breaks i will have to buy

another movie i’m sure

old school sold out everywhere i won’t

be able to find another uh version of it

so i’ll just have to go move on to

hang over probably probably you’re not

gonna be able to find one anywhere

yeah i mean it’s it’s so oop that’s

great so i had another

just and this is a minor question so in

that passage

you talked about the portable dvd player

have you do you know about phones and

how you can

stream you know movies and shows on your

phone

i had a head injury okay dr

london what are you doing

so i can’t hold devices with um

signals close to my head okay or in my

pocket

um because it really it’s bad for me i

don’t know that’s what my doctor

says and he won a docky dr boudreau

you have better call saul’s brother

disease yes

you know better call saul’s brother he

like couldn’t touch cell phones or

whatever you have that disease

cameron that’s a drama oh oh uh

uh you ever watched mister show

i i have not seen it i know mr show

so his buddy who uh

mr show’s buddy the show’s buddy yeah i

guess

um yeah he can’t he can’t touch the

cell phones that’s all that’s all i i

didn’t mean to stop everything in its

tracks like this

okay because and i guess so it’s a

polaroid that you were using to take all

the pictures because there are a lot of

selfies of you

with patience on the side of the road

like all

throughout this book it’s very heavily

illustrated with

just patience covered and blinded

yeah so that was i i guess

that does answer my question so it was

with polaroid camera the

the old-fashioned yes yes yeah and

i mean i knew when the type setter got

those pictures they were going to be

whoo but you know we did what we did

and i’m glad we did it and the book is a

triumph

yeah i mean it sounds like you’ve really

brought something new to the medical

community

which is a you know famously

close-minded community

you know if they don’t read it from a

harvard experiment then they’re not

going to believe it

but here here goes to show that you know

i mean i’m just here to break

to break down walls and you know break

down the brick around your heart

and maybe let a little bit of laughter

in but once again i do need to let you

know that it will

uh laughter does not um cure heart

attack

so uh don’t don’t treat it for that

it’s good for i found it you know we’ve

been talking about the negative here

um you know there’s a laundry list of

things it’s not good for cancer

treatment is terrible

um it’s not really good for any body or

foot order

but

it’s good for retraction retraction

attraction my friend the fairer sex

if you know what i’m talking about okay

i guess you’d have to be more specific

yeah you pop in old school

the giggles start next thing you know

it’s make out city

was this and this was an experiment i’ve

never been there

yeah this is not sure i’m aware wait

wait wait is there a chapter on the book

of the book about this yes i would love

to hear part of this chapter

sure here we go just open it up

make out city tommy and donna were love

on the rocks

until they came and saw me

i told them that the experiment would be

easy

sit in this love seat wink wink

and i will put in one of my patented

comedy dvds

they began with lenny bruce neither

seemed interested or amused

they started talking to each other i

could tell

the magic was already starting

up next the great muppet caper

how long do we have to be here said

donna

you leave when i say so said me

up next old school the coup

de grace 10 minutes

into the movie they start kissing

because they seem to be so bored

of the laughter they had to take a break

well this is the

the third movie in a row that you had

them watch

yes this was this was five hours

into uh the experiment it sounds like

almost

every single chapter of this book is

describing a different way to show these

exact three movies like it

there’s maybe one sentence about the

other subjects which might be like

in two days i have a brain injury

give me a freak no i

totally understand that but it’s even

you know you’re talking about

hemorrhaging you have a chapter on

hemorrhaging but 99

of it is just describing like putting

the dvd in and watching it

yeah and then maybe like a sentence it’s

like it doesn’t work with him or doing

but yeah yeah that’s that’s every single

that’s every single chapter

yeah give or take well i mean this this

sounds like a must buy

i think go and get it please

i am starving i mean yeah dr london do

you

can we put our official jock doc podcast

stamp of approval on this book

yes i we’ve actually never given this

out because no book has ever been worthy

well one thing i do like is the honesty

well yeah okay sorry you put it on the

quran which i thought was weird but i

don’t even want to get into that we

i’m not even touching yeah we try to

stay you know apolitical no religion

stuff

we just try to you know focus on the

medicine here but uh

yeah i couldn’t tell if it was

disrespectful or respectful to slap a

giant sticker of

jock dog podcast approved on top of the

quran i don’t know and i don’t want to

know let’s not touch it

right yeah let’s let’s not okay so

um for this one the

the pros let’s go over the pros to you

know

why i would like this book it’s honest

sometimes like even the make out city

chapter

was very specific in details of where

because this was on location he went to

a place called make out city

and there’s a whole section on

describing that

and uh the other thing that i think

might actually be compromising and

working against it is

he puts a lot of personal information

about each patient

in the chapters yeah i did want to ask

about

that did putting down where they’re

going to be

like a gp that a sort of it looks i mean

it’s just on the paper there’s like gps

coordinates that are constantly changing

i assume you attach something to them

was that what purpose does that serve dr

boudreau

i well number one i needed to prove that

it all happened

um not exactly in the united states

oh okay but so but close you’re saying

the laws

were more elusive right right we need to

make sure

that everybody knew that this was

in a space

that uh one could call free

okay okay

it’s still so to me um

i guess i should clarify well so so i’d

like okay

let me let me rephrase let me rephrase i

i think i’ve uh

complicated the uh the uh the air

what i do is um anytime that i’m a good

samaritan i know i’m free and clear

because i believe

laughter is the best medicine so i i

give them the only medicine i have

which is the gift of uh laughter i

may never call 9-1-1 but i don’t think

that’s on me

i mean other people can see what’s

happening

so you know even though i am always

wearing

scrubs um and um my lab coat

they uh you know people sometimes

will go like oh he’s got it under

control and then i’m like oh pay dirt

i’m gonna get to uh old school with this

one uh

and most of those people who’ve injured

themselves they do not make it to old

school

uh which is the great tragedy of this

book yeah and it also sounds like the

spectators who are who are thinking he’s

got it under control none of them

question

why after maybe four hours of watching

dvds

yes no one questions yeah what’s going

nobody you think you know what you ever

uh okay i’ve seen a drama you ever see

catch me when

if you can uh yeah is that a drama

i mean it’s a goof yeah but it’s fun but

it’s dramatic

it’s a it’s a dramatic romp i would say

christopher walken says

you know catch them watching the

pinstripes and that’s what uh scrubs in

lab coat does and you know they see that

and they get caught up in it and they’re

like oh

he knows what he’s doing and then i have

to you know

tell him you know well yeah did you did

you try telling

any of your patients that weren’t

laughing did you try telling them

uh the christopher walken story about

the mice uh in a bucket of cream

joke because that is funny

that’s that’s funny i mean

that little mouse works so hard yeah

oh my gosh and cream

okay so just um there’s

so uh i guess i should just explain

since i did read the book

uh there is a section where uh dr

boudreau he did describe his approach

so whenever he goes up to a given scene

because he instructs the readers how to

do it for themselves

how they can carry out these experiments

you you yeah it’s it’s under the uh it’s

the title

uh you laugh they laugh everybody laughs

yeah

and so you do according to you at least

you arrive on scene

and you if you see someone trying to

call 9-1-1

you do yell at them and forcibly

stop them if possible right well i mean

i start with the hey

hey what are you doing we’re watching

old school over here

yeah probably the sell signals are are

messing with you

so you got

you know it’s not fun yeah okay because

we’re okay

so with that because because i was

thinking like maybe

your mindset was you don’t want to

compromise the study

but for you it’s just the the pain of it

oh yep okay that’s better

i guess um

so i i don’t know that we can really put

our stamp of approval on this

because did you ever see a spinal tap

11. mr come on mr shows

better call saul brother was in spinal

tap

and i think that brings everything

together

there it is okay

well speaking of you know bring it all

together it seems like this is

oh you know what uh don’t forget yeah

i knew you were about to forget we got

to get to the chore wheel

oh boy if you are just now

joining us i mean the last few weeks we

have had to finally take care of all of

these chores that have been piling up

and piling up and piling up and so we

created this chore wheel

that we’re spinning every week just to

knock off one duty

one thing we have to do we have no

choice in the matter

but we’re just trying to check things

off a list at this point so let’s

let’s dj dylan can you go ahead and fire

up the uh the chore wheel

yes all right

it says

movie reviews oh gosh okay we do have to

do this all right

this is a this is one that’s not too

much of a chore honestly i’m excited to

do this because i’ve been wanting to get

some of this stuff off my chest

um we the all of us here today i i don’t

even have to ask i assume that we’ve all

seen the movie that every single person

in the world

is talking about yeah splanter’s choice

splanter’s choice

and every single person is screaming

about how genius this movie is and how

how the cinematography

is so magical and so fluid

and how bronty chauncers was the

greatest actor in the world

and he should win sorry sorry sorry

you go on and that uh that everything

about it is genius and you know what

frankly i have to agree

sponsors choice it’s an incredible film

yes everything about it mesmerized me i

mean the part

where the mountain actually was a hole

and everyone was just looking at it

upside down

and then once they realized it it caused

them to fall and then splanter said who

that part cracked me up but then also

made me think

i thought about that for days

yeah no no that’s a good take that’s a

good take cameron um

and that’s well thought out but i guess

if you’re looking at movies with the

critical eye

which is kind of just how i view

everything here we go again

yeah so splandre’s choice

maybe not the movie for everyone is is

what i thought

so it’s not for pretentious doctors is

that what you’re about to say

i look i don’t mean to have these

opinions just

when i watched it i thought what i

thought so

the main character splaunter first of

all

not this actor’s best work uh oh yeah

then what is

to tell me what is what has he done

better

uh what is braunsch chonker since done

better

transtonia you remember transtonia

okay that’s fair yeah that was from a

different

time before we had 4d

screenings but sure yeah that’s fine

i’ll agree

that that movie definitely trans tony i

mean i have to respect

i have to respect it for at least

putting i mean floppy floppers

on the map yeah

so anyway so in splendor’s choice the

issue that i had with

there came a point in the movie and i

don’t want to spoil anything but

splanter did have to make that choice

and it was tough yeah it was tough

the fact that a full 10 minutes of the

movie

full 10 minutes was just him reading a

book on the subject

to make sure he made the right choice

and just

it was multiple camera angles that’s

called character development are you

kidding me how are you gonna establish

that he’s making

the choice that’s actually informed if

you don’t spend time

establishing that i mean

most movies will do a montage but there

was also no music

there was nothing it was just splanter

reading book and i’m sorry you know what

it’s instead of a soundtrack it was just

the sounds of a baby crying

which i thought was genius how

subversive and

crazy is that yeah which no mention of

children

in the movie besides that sound like

there’s no reference implied

that they’re off screen dr london

okay so sorry uh dr boudreau um

well this is this is this is dino go to

brunch all over again and you just

you hated dino go to brunch because you

said there wasn’t enough brunch and you

said it was too late in the day for

brunch

that’s right which is insane you know

that brunch can go to 4 p.m

lots of restaurants offer it till 4 p.m

not in the country that it was

oh my god i’ll maintain that not right i

can’t listen to this

dr boudreau can i please hear hear your

thoughts on this film um

well the movie

i i wish you would have known how much i

i don’t enjoy dramas

uh before you asked me to watch this

movie i mean sure

sure there was that moment with splanter

and uh

you know the pie and that was great um

but bronte

chauncers is absolutely uh no will

ferrell

no i mean uh the whole

the whole movie i’m waiting for frank to

the tank to show up

and instead um the mountain’s a whole

and uh you know we’re reading for 10

minutes

and it you know for 10 minutes without a

laugh that is

uh you know the um what is that the

laugh

to cry ratio yeah

it wasn’t good it wasn’t good but i will

say

it was beautiful

that cinematography was breathtaking

and you know i mean we go to joseph

campbell we take a look at the hero with

the thousand faces

you got it with splanter his choice it

was an epic

choice and major ramifications the

mountains a hole

that was a twist i didn’t expect to see

um the pie

i tell you tell me you laughed at the

pie right i laughed at the pie

we all laughing i mean i’m a human

who laughs and sometimes who

don’t check out the pie and splanter’s

choice don’t besmirch the name of

america’s greatest comedian

um i’m really sorry about that that’s

okay

um but i mean i was happy

that i branched out and saw something

that wasn’t the three movies

that i’ve watched pretty much every day

for the last uh

five years so that was nice

so thank you gentlemen for uh you know

teaching this old dog a new trick okay

all right there it is yeah

the trick being to to watch and watch

something different yeah

yeah usually yeah my genre of comedy

great comedy films the lenny bruce

yeah the lenny bruce stand up special

here’s my here’s here it is this is the

trinity of comedy to me

the lenny bruce stand up special mistake

manhattan

old school and old school

okay wow so that’s that’s done then

we finished that chore for for this week

at least yeah the chore

we can check that off the list dj dylan

if you could fire up the

checking that off the list machine yeah

yes

more of a canon but yeah yeah it’s more

of a canon and it’s

i mean it’s a it’s a crime to own this

thing right

yeah i i do question the legality of at

least

er we don’t have to store whatever yeah

it might be one of those things where

you know ownership

isn’t the problem so much as possession

whatever

anyway um yeah so i feel like we’re

you know we can kind of wrap it up now

right we did our chore

we learned about the book ha ha health

um yeah i mean uh dr boudreau i mean is

there anything that you

wanna i mean besides this wonderful book

that we’re gonna slap the

jock doc uh podcast seal of approval on

it’s not really was it like well we’re

going to do it anyway was there anything

that you wanted to promote

uh well my nephew has a podcast

network called gabba media

g-a-b-e-r-m-e-d-i-a

does a bunch of podcasts there one of

them you know they answer the question

of uh what if we listen to limp biscuit

today

it’s called roach coach coach okay

and uh i i don’t know what the hell’s

going on it but

they seem to enjoy it okay wow so it’s

like a new

metal type of podcast yep every week

they listen to a different new metal

album and uh they uh they uh see if it

belongs in the new metal cannon

whoa have you have do you know if

they’ve gotten to pod

yet yes they have done uh they have done

the first pod record they’ve

south town yeah they they’ve done uh

the satellite wow

that sounds amazing i definitely have to

listen to that it’s uh

it is very comprehensive

i just never believed that that much new

metal exists

that sounds sustainable then at least

for 200 plus episodes oh wow

all right is there any way for um

listeners to follow you

or i guess your nephew oh well you can

always find my nephew

uh on gabbermedia his name is matt noss

he’s wonderful

at matinos on twitter he’s there

m-a-t-t-n-a-a-s

what a delight that guy is

okay yeah

your nephew sounds nice okay i love him

and that’s that’s great to hear uh

all right well i guess we’ll go ahead

weirded out by my nephew love

no no it’s and honestly you know

especially after

brain injury i think having more family

being supportive is

is great it does look like you’re going

to cry but i can’t tell if that’s

part of it it’s part of it

you’re not just crying just thinking

about your nephew i don’t know anymore

okay all right well um

thank you to Dr Mark Budro here for

coming on the podcast

talking about his book with us ha ha

health which

seems like it’s filled with a lot of

unethical practices

that might have been lawful

might be legal wherever he they took

place

but not certainly not ethical

i would i would say uh thank you cameron

um thank you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

well once he got to you’re my boy blue

the giggles were just flowing

[Music]

you’re my boy blue you’re york you’re my

boy blue

the giggles blue the giggles you’re my

boy

but you know what wasn’t blue my boy

my name is dr londonsmith.com and this

has been

the jock duck podcast see ya

[Music]

a wet drop of something falls on your

cheek

irritated you swipe the drop up with

your finger

and you throw it back up at the sky

sorry if this offends any snowflakes

but when the sky literally spits in your

face

we’ve got a real problem here as you

prepare a loogie for return

fire another drop smacks under your

forehead

your jaws clench and stretch as you

gather up all the saliva and gunk from

the four

corners of your mouth

as you prepare to launch this projectile

you ponder for a moment

at this act of violence but no

you did not start this war and your

resolve strengthens

the countdown begins then the cutie

walks by

you painfully swallow your loaded

ammunition to smile and wave

before you know they make a disgusted uh

sound lucky day skye

lucky day speaking of flirtations being

wrecked by mother nature

don’t forget to leave a five-star review

of the jock doc podcast

in which you describe how you were

deeply personally insulted by the

weather

and consider supporting us by becoming a

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listening

Jock Doc Podcast

65: Tension pneumothorax/spider facts with billy (feat. Tanja rowland)

September 7, 2020 London Smith

hey kids you’re about to listen

to comedy podcasts and that that

means that none of this is medical

advice

so if you need medical advice

or medical care please contact your

doctor

welcome to the jockstrap podcast

featuring dr london smith

wait did i just say i meant to say jock

doc

introducing your host doctor london

strap

[Music]

[Applause]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

dr londonsmith.com i would like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received

some feedback about just the over

use of uh technical medical terms that

i’ve been using such as

gamma glutamine transpeptidase and

walk this way so i will try to temper my

terminology

to a simpler one in the future here to

help with that

is our producer cameron

[Music]

just looking at this microphone and this

table and the light switch here and the

studio and

it’s kind of sad that this might be the

last time i see him you know

um well why is that

are you are you leaving well dr london i

got some good news and i got some bad

news and the good news is

is that i am going to be uh exploring

a little more of the world i

i was thinking about the other day and i

was like why haven’t i traveled at all

this year

and i was just drawing a blank i was

like man i

this whole year i haven’t gone anywhere

and i couldn’t think of any

excuse that made any sense at all

and so i mean dr london i’m going to be

i’m going to be taking a leave of

absence for i

20 years 30 years i don’t know oh is

that how long it takes to get around the

world

i think normally i would think

like under normal circumstances i don’t

think it would take 20 or 30 years to

get around the world

even well hundreds of years ago yeah i

mean that depends on what you’re

traveling by

though and for you you would travel

like you wouldn’t use a plane or you

know

no people have done that people have

famously you know traveled around the

world in like

hot air balloons and in planes and by

boat and all these different things

but not one person has gone all the way

around the world

in a box car racer you know those like

little little cars that

that kids drive down hills that you

making like boy scouts or something

yeah aren’t those aren’t those like

don’t those require

a slope like that that’s why it’s

downhill

well yeah i mean there’s no like engine

in or anything i mean it’s literally

just a box with wheels

and not one person has done that i’m

gonna be the first doctor london

do you do you think that in your journey

around the world you might run into

issues of

say oh with fans

running into fans around the world and

them hassling me i have thought about

that yes

and you know it disgusts me

the idea that someone would come up to

me and say i recognize you

but i think i could i think i could like

say oh okay

you know i think i mean get the hell out

of there as quickly as possible of

course

but i’d be like oh yeah okay yeah

well okay i just can’t help but think

okay well anyway the reason why

you haven’t been able to travel so much

is probably

i’m not sure if you’re aware but you

said

you know we live in the united states so

probably

you won’t be legally permitted to

enter another country because you know

they’re still

yeah by flame like through an airport

you think if i start floating up to to

italy

in a box car off the side of the gulf

that they’re going to just turn me away

they might if they find out that you’re

american you really think so hmm

well okay trying to immigrate by that

method or

by similar methods we’ll think about

this though

if i start at a really really high hill

in just like whatever country that i’m

trying to like swoosh my way into

i’ll be going so damn fast then the

coppers won’t do

anything about it so so i guess your

real goal now

is to just find the tallest i guess

mountain

yes that is now my dream

okay because i guess drive

my boxcar racer down mount everest

and hope that i get enough momentum to

go all the way around the world

faster than i guess all the police in

the world

okay and i i guess i can’t really speak

to whether

i don’t feel like i’m gonna miss this i

mean the recording software

the software that’s what you’re gonna

notice i mean the

you know the way that like you never

brought any candies or anything to

the records i always thought about that

like oh you think you would bring

something

so you’re gonna miss passive aggression

yeah

okay ah but you know dr london i i wish

you

all the luck in the world um on finding

my replacement

um i won’t be assisting in finding your

replacement

um and i’m not going to tell you the

passwords to any of the accounts

okay because you do manage every account

and have made it a point to not

allow me well for one thing

i’m gonna miss those accounts miss those

passwords

some of them made me laugh so hard ah i

guess there’s a clue

okay well uh you know

so that’s that’s our producer cameron

also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

just looking at this microphone and this

table the light switch here in the

studio this might be

the last time i see him you know dr

london i got some good news and i got

some bad news and the good news is

that i’m going to be uh exploring

a little more of the world i’m going to

be taking a leave of absence

20 years 30 years i don’t know it

depends on how long it takes to get

around the world

oh i’m gonna miss the recording software

[Music]

oh i’m gonna miss i mean the

you know the way that like you never

brought any candies or anything

to the record i always thought about

that

you think you would bring something

sometimes but

but you know dr london i i wish you all

the luck in the world

and i’m not gonna tell you the passwords

to any of the accounts i’m gonna miss

those accounts

this those passwords some of them made

me laugh so hard

[Applause]

[Music]

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest

that’s right dr london well you said you

couldn’t call it a

make uh

[Music]

it wasn’t a make a wish it was make a

prayer

was it or you said you came up with some

spin-off

organization that you’re oh well i’m i’m

still

kind of like testing like i think make a

fish is kind of funny

yes but i feel like people would expect

fish which i don’t have

so make a prayer was also a good one

because i thought like oh you kind of

lean on the religious angle um

but then the uh madonna’s

record label threatened to sue us

because they said

make a prayer was too close to like a

prayer

okay which i feel like it was closer to

make a wish but they didn’t seem to care

at all especially because

this is just the name of an organization

to make a young child’s dream come true

so anyway yeah it’s not even an

organization it’s just sort of a title

so we can introduce them on the podcast

like i

i didn’t even think we’d get sued for

that yeah that sounds

okay but yeah i mean we i mean we have

to go to court over that

i didn’t even change the name i just i

googled it

and they they were like no and they shut

it down that quickly

okay so so we just have a guest on and

we can’t legally

we’re being sued by madonna

i wish this was the first time uh

anyway so before we move on i would like

to uh to address a bit of listener

feedback

i found this message spelled out in fire

in my yard over the weekend the note

reads quote

my grandson kyle is good with money he

sells

cartridges whatever that means end quote

uh first of all i would like to thank

you so much for reaching out to us here

on the jock talk podcast

um to answer your question

maybe your grandson is selling uh i

don’t know nintendo cartridges

for like an older game system cameron do

you have any idea what

cartridges

uh i mean it’s gotta be something like

car related right is it like a hot wheel

uh yeah i’m not sure just i know that he

sells them

so yeah so i guess if it’s

so so her grandson kyle maybe is a car

salesman yeah probably so

okay well anyway um great to hear from

that listener

and uh yeah keep keep letting us know

what you’re thinking listeners

we keep on trucking on and once again we

do kind of want to stay away from these

phrases that are so

close to real ones because i we can’t

take more lawsuits

it just saying trucking i don’t even

know what that’s close to like i’m not

even sure who’s gonna sue me for

trucking on

keep on something on it

it’s just one of those things that’s

i’ve seen it on so many

like oh so you don’t even know if

someone owns it you just

i’m it’s out i’m sure that we could

i i just want to be careful that’s all i

that

that’s understandable okay

[Music]

now for today’s medical topic tension

pneumothorax

attention pneumothorax is defined as air

in the normally airless pleural space

which is the space between the tissues

that lie in the lungs

and the chest so air gets trapped just

outside the lungs and this gives the

lungs less room to expand and fill with

air

attention pneumothorax then is when this

air trapping is caused by some form of

trauma

and the tissues surrounding the opening

into the pleural cavity

they act as valves so they they allow

air to

enter but not to escape sound familiar

okay is this is this another hint at why

you

why you’re wanting to leave yeah i just

because i you know i i was invited in i

i was allowed to enter with

open arms saying cameron if you help out

with this podcast you’ll have the whole

world

and then i get here and i’m just

suffocating

yeah i’m every single week you’re like

you have to be here

every single week you’re like you gotta

like send

like the recordings over you gotta log

into the account or at least give me the

password i’ll do most of the work

just you gotta give me access and i’m

like get off my back

well i’m sorry it’s just that’s kind of

just how a podcast

works and if you suddenly you know go on

your boat

trip oh climb a tree and try to start a

new tribe

all of those things you know you can you

can do that on your own time

but we you know we have to educate

people

about medicine you know what i

know that we’re already being sued

by madonna’s record company

but i’ve gotta express myself and i

gotta say right now

papa don’t preach okay

in any case um yeah so that

an attention pneumothorax that vogue

that accumulation of

air under positive pressure in the

pleural space

collapses the ipsilateral lung that

means

same side lung and it shifts the

mediastinum away

from the side of the pneumothorax

clinically

patients can present with hypotension

because along with the lungs

cardiac filling can also be impaired due

to compression of the great veins

patients may also have i need to get

those i’ve heard so much about those

getting cardiac fillers no i think

i’ve heard all about getting those

filled and i’ve heard it’s amazing

sorry so cardiac feeling that you’re

already doing that

every moment that’s your heart beating

every time your heart fills up with

blood

oh yeah i mean i’ve heard i’ve heard

yeah i’ve heard if you go to those

places it they fill up with blood and

it’s just like it you feel

so fresh and amazing when you get out of

there

i okay so cardiac filling is also

compared to

to compression of the great veins uh

patients may also have distended neck

veins

uh a shift of the trachea away from the

side of the pneumothorax on chest x-ray

uh decreased breast sounds on the

affected side and hyper resonance to

percussion

on the side of the pneumothorax however

if a

tension pneumothorax is suspected it’s

important to immediately

decompress the pleural space via a large

board needle or chest tube

rather than obtaining an x-ray first

as for treatment so did you say

you you talk as if you’ve experienced

this

no i just everything you’re describing

is exactly why i need to leave

oh just attention pneumothorax

is that this is this is you this is our

relationship

are you blind do you have any

self-awareness at all everything you’re

saying is our dynamic

don’t you see dr london so our dynamic

is there’s a need to decompress the

plural space with a large born needle or

test tube

it’s insane to me that you you wrote all

of that and you never

stopped to think like is this coming

from my subconscious like does this mean

something

okay because you’re just spelling it out

all the things you couldn’t tell the

therapist

and said you were just kept checking

your phone yeah okay well i just

i’m not sure exactly where this is

coming from because

so so this is a medical lesson this is

what happens when someone’s

you know the lining of their lung is

compromised

yeah no i know

okay because that’s what you’ve done to

the entire length of this podcast

today’s podcast

okay anyway as for treatment it’s like

10 minutes

so the way you treat this tension

pneumothorax

uh you have to treat it as a medical

emergency if the tension in the pleural

space is not relieved the patient can

actually die of hemodynamic compromise

so you’ll immediately perform chest

compressions with a large born needle in

the second or third intercostal space

in the mid clavicular line uh and then

followed by

chest tube placement and does that

that’s something like our relationship

when you hear the word chest tube

placement

you don’t that doesn’t jog any memory

for you dr london

no did you did you have the chest tube

placed at some point

no but think about it chest tube

placement

tube like a like a slide like a water

slide

chest when we went to that down that

water slide

and we went like chest face first

placement because we

we knew to splash in the water at the

end and it was a fun time

and that’s okay so you’re describing our

relationship as being a fun

experience at a water park no i that was

that was a specific memory that you

don’t even remember apparently

i mean i i remember but i didn’t connect

it to this

when i get to the peak of mount everest

yeah and i put my helmet on

because it’s been off the whole time i

was climbing

and i get in that box car racer and i

tell my

i don’t know like horse or whatever i

ride up there to

push me off the edge i’m gonna be

thinking

i hope this is as fun as that water

slide

and at that point you will be yeah

talking to your horse

okay well we can go ahead and move on

from there

okay all right well cameron you said

that we have a well i can’t call it

we can’t put under a specific theme but

we have a special guest who is here

because they’re

i don’t know that something was wrong

are you

guessing at what you’re trying to say is

are you guessing what words are i’m

trying to i know they’re illegal

words that i can’t legally use to

describe why the guest is on the show

so i’m just trying to navigate that okay

yeah so i know that so this guest

has physical ailments

to such an extent that

they reached out to

someone and got connected and this this

is what they wanted to do was to be on

the jock dock podcast yeah i mean why

are you telling me this

yeah i’m sorry this is an introduction

okay uh anyway so

welcome to our guest uh hello there

hello can you guys hear me okay

yeah we can hear you oh my god okay

i just want to say first of all that i’m

much like my mom has done this a lot of

times like i really don’t want you guys

to break up okay

i just like i don’t think i could take

it again and i learned so

much like so much from you guys so i

need i need to stay together

well you know sometimes

even though people still carry

about each other a lot they need to take

some time apart

to explore different options

and maybe uh

you know blonder options i guess

um well my mom’s boyfriend jeff did that

and

and he got hit by a mail truck i don’t

know so

i’m just saying like but that’s not

always a good thing you know what i mean

what did i mean did he did jeff die or

is that the end of that story

no well it’s kind of a really long story

i don’t think i should get to it because

i talked to someone who speaks the

ghosts and they talk to jeff

because the whole reason he got hit by a

car is because he had like this white

stuff on his face

when the cops came the policeman came to

take him out and he tried to run away

and then he got hit by a mail truck and

then he went to a

a bad place and i don’t want you to go

to a bad place mr producer camera guy oh

well thank you

i really that’s really sweet i

appreciate that dr london do you have

anything to

well i figure we should finish this uh

and

so this is our guest is named uh billy

is that right

yes my name is billy hey billy

how old are you billy i am eight years

old

wow yeah i’ve grown into a big boy

yeah well so billy my name is dr

londonsmith.com

and this is our producer cameron

i don’t know you guys are i listen to

you guys like all the time

because i try to google stuff to

understand things but i like it better

when people talk to me

because i sometimes pretend i have

friends at home that want to talk with

me about

the questions i have and that’s what you

guys are yeah that’s the i mean the

perfect example of a podcast listener

yeah that’s me i’m a podcast listener

and like

so i’ve been trying to get a hold of you

guys a little bit um

i get made fun of a lot at school

because i’ve got like some stuff going

on it’s kind of embarrassing to talk

about

yeah oh no well i mean i’m sure dr

london can definitely help you he is

a doctor i mean he’s you know

he sucks

to ask real quick so i guess for our

audience

our podcast has reportedly according to

cameron been marketed primarily towards

children yes which doesn’t seem to be

you know sort of the target audience

that we would want but

i guess you know we take we can get you

don’t think kids need

medical advice too yeah i i think that

they

can benefit but it’s what we are

teaching is more at a

you know a med school level back back to

billy here

um yeah so so what brings you on the

show you said you have some kind of

ailment yeah um i get made fun of a lot

cause

i have some dandruff and i have some

psoriasis

but i’m getting treated from that from a

doctor uh

but okay good the real problem is i’ve

got gooey eyes

like my eyes have goo in them all the

time and like people don’t like looking

at me

and they kind of make fun of me about it

and say that i’m gross

okay well i mean i’m glad you you

contacted us i mean i feel like this is

what we

are primarily experts at right dr london

i mean

you know first things first we got to

identify the goo coming out of the

gooey eyes as an expert myself i would

probably

say it looks like it’s from the

uh american southwest

is that is that all right dr london i

you think that the goo

itself is from do you not know your

goose trains

well i think usually if the goo

is coming out of a person then you will

generally think that that person is the

origin

not some other you know region of the

country yeah i don’t really know

very much yeah but i mean it can happen

in all sorts of ways i mean have you

known

anyone have any of your well you said

you don’t really have any friends but i

mean like

i’ve got one friend and her name is

amelia and she’s a spider

okay okay yeah she’s really cool

we learned i learned about the spider

world from her and i teach her about the

human world

and she says that my goo doesn’t bother

her so

she’s a good friend of heft

okay yeah and and that’s once

uh you know it’s very normal but could i

cameron can i talk to you

separately for a second

yeah this might be the last time that

you talked

separately with me all right so

billy is also on here to promote

uh his podcast spider facts with billy

okay and i just we need to be sensitive

and make sure he doesn’t feel strange

for

to talking to a spider for a podcast

that’s do you see what i i don’t

i mean i didn’t find it strange in the

first place that seems i mean eight

years old i mean

yeah that seems normal okay i just

yeah i get to but to start a podcast and

you’ve made it into this

weird thing okay okay maybe just me

we can go back god

okay billy sorry about that that’s okay

sometimes you have to have grown-up

talks my mom tells me that

yes yeah okay so

yeah tell me about this you said you

have a friend

amelia who’s a spider yeah so i saw a

spider one day

and i put it in a jar and then

she’s and then i let her out of the jar

now but then she just started talking to

and i was like what because i originally

wanted to

teach people about spiders because i

love them so much like

did you know that spiders have eight

eyes as well as eight legs like that’s

so many

wow that makes sense we have two eyes

and two legs yeah so

wow nature’s so cool and it’s so cool

because amelia talks to me

and she’s really smart she taught me how

spider babies are made

like how they’re my their eggs and stuff

come out and like a

bag it’s like a big old bag with a bunch

of babies in it

that’s really cool wait doctor london is

that true

oh no okay so uh i don’t really want to

spend today describing

[Music]

where babies come from or how they’re

made

i want to know billy billy billy i want

to know you say amelia talks to you yeah

what does she sound like she sounds like

could you do like an impression of her

yeah she sounds like

hello billy this is amelia

i sound like a nice lady who is your

friend

and i like to teach you things that’s

what she sounds like

wow yeah okay i mean i’m sold

dr london what do you think about all

this do you ever

do you ever hear well actually at

your age it’s normal to have you know

your imaginary friends

stuffed animals those she talked to

she’s

yeah what are you doing i’m sorry

what what is it hey billy yeah we know

that amelia’s

real dr london he is not a believer

in anything interesting or cool yeah she

was that’s why he became a doctor

she watches constantine with me and like

all the other keanu reeves movies you

can shake a stick at

all of them we watch together spiders

love keanu reeves

wait do you have constantine like on

blu-ray or do you just have it digitally

can i borrow it if it’s on blue oh i’m

sorry

i don’t think i have anything on blu-ray

i have it

digitally my mom got it for me for

christmas

damn it but maybe i mean if you wanted

to watch it with me

and amelia i mean that’d be okay with me

no i’d rather just borrow the bar with a

blu-ray if you can rip a copy for me

maybe burn it to like a dvd-r

i can just watch it like that it’s

totally fine anyway dr london

can i talk to you for a second yeah

what are you doing coming in here saying

uh you like uh you it’s normal to have

imaginary friends at that age dr

london this isn’t an imaginary friend

this is a kid who can talk

to bugs do you not realize how powerful

that is

and how maybe if we get on the right

this kid is a super fan of us

i told you this podcast was gonna pay

off one day this kid is obsessed with

our podcast

probably because of the beer that i hand

out to all the neighborhood kids

and this kid can talk to spiders which

we could possibly use that power for you

know

some at least a project or something

i’d maybe like build something i don’t i

don’t know i haven’t thought about it

this is all new information for me

okay this is incredible so we we can go

back

and talk about that but before we go

back in there

what i need you to do is please do not

try to sell him any of your beer

okay that beer i have to assume

if the kid is a fan of ours he’s got

like a 12 pack at home i mean

i don’t need to sell it the beer sells

itself so yeah

no problem okay because it remembers

what happened

the side effects i guarantee that kid is

stocked up

okay and you can tell because of the eye

goop yes

that’s why i was curious about the

strain because if it’s from the

southwest it’s got to be from the beer

because we have a specific southwestern

strain of eye goop going around it’s a

long story

okay we can go back in

so billy um you haven’t

you haven’t sampled any drinks with

cameron’s name on it

have you oh yeah my mom yeah

my mom buys me that stuff all the time

it’s like the one thing she does

because she goes like in her room and

makes and she goes hunts

with uh her friends that come over

sometimes and closes the door

and then leaves me with like all kinds

of bottles of cameron’s bloody beer

oh okay so you do recognize the very

specific

name why do you think i buy it and i

listen to you guys so much

my mom bought that stuff for me because

she says i’m a little too positive

sometimes and i just need to relax and

be realistic

so she tells you to drink that and i get

sad laid out

yeah it’s a real downer and that’s you

know that’s sort of built into the

product

but we do thank you for being a fan of

not only the podcast but for the number

one beer

in juvenile detention center oh yeah i’m

all in like

i love you guys that’s why i want you to

break up so bad

i mean i really do appreciate that but

you know sometimes

i don’t know sometimes you got to move

on billy but

you know i you know let’s not sit and

talk about the depressing

how depressing it is that i’m going to

be traveling the world while dr london’s

you know stuck here sucking his thumb

uh what i want to i want to hear more

about

uh your f your communication with your

friend amelia

so so you when you talk like you just

say like

hey amelia go do that like do you

command her to do things or is she

more like commanding you to do things

uh well amelia taught me about consent

and we don’t command each other to do

anything

we’re two friends and we talk about

stuff and she does what she wants and i

do what i want

she’s not here right now but like you

know she’s gotta go get bug friends to

put her web so she could eat

but no we’re just like friends and we

hang out like she doesn’t command me

like uh like a demon or nothing

so i mean there’s no world in which you

could let’s say

rise up an army of spiders and have them

do your bidding is that

out of the question you know uh i never

thought about that but that sounds kind

of like a good idea

i’m gonna have to talk with you about

that yeah yeah and think about it like

amelia

amelia can have a high position in this

hierarchy

yeah amelia can be like the ceo or

president of all the other spiders or

whatever

i think she would like that it’s just

you know maybe

being something of like a spider king

that maybe could you know help the

podcast

out in some ways you know whatever you

got dr london can you think of any

can any spider any spider related things

that we might need

yeah okay so and look i don’t actually

think you should manipulate your

friend oh i want a hammock i feel like

that’s

right up y’all’s alley right oh i’ll ask

her when she comes back home

i i feel cameron like maybe

the webs of a spider aren’t really up to

the task of sustaining your

weight and that’s not that’s not

intentional you’re saying that

you’re saying that our guest’s best

friend

is unable to create like a quality solid

product

dr london what are you doing why are you

so rude to our guest billy i am so sorry

about that i just don’t understand why

he doesn’t he doesn’t like amelia very

much oh okay don’t question don’t marry

don’t cry okay but uh billy i wanna know

i wanna know

like what what brought you here today

what do you want to what do you want to

talk about on

on the podcast okay

first and foremost i want people to know

that spiders are good at their friends

but the other main thing is what i’m

really

uh making a a fish for is

that i could get the scoop out of my

eyes and maybe

i could have a friend that’s a person

for when amelia’s not here

okay you’re you’re just searching for a

friend

well yeah okay everybody’s searching for

a friend and mr cameron producer man

he’s looking for a blonde friend and

i’ll take a blonde friend or

a red friend any kind of friend oh yeah

this is perfect

okay so for your first issue

uh because yeah you’re looking for a

friend and then and then

what was your first issue i’m sorry oh

the eye goop oh yeah yeah

that’s right there’s a lot of goose and

it dries up sometimes in the mornings

right so what i’m thinking is

two things off the top of my head uh

allergies

could be allergies okay could also

be what cameron said that

i goop is apparently a side effect of

cameron’s buddy beer

which is a very minor side effect

compared to some of the other things

i’ve heard about it

which for those who aren’t aware also

can cause paralysis

and suicidal ideation can

cause that’s a key word there it can’t

it you know it

could cause superpowers i don’t know

anything could cause anything

well it has been known correlation does

not equal

causation in this case this is causation

and not correlation it’s just

straightforward causation but if you

if you look at the overall pattern um

you can see that um i mean i mean you

know

uh billy here is having a good time yeah

right billy yeah i drink that stuff

and i get sad and i think about stuff

and then i go to sleep

and i sleep really i want to hear about

this plan

with the eye goop to help create a new

friend

i am very intrigued about this and i

would like to sign up for this project

as well well i mean i don’t want to take

the goo with like

and boulder fred like pretend it’s clay

or anything is that what you say

is that what you’re saying i don’t know

i wasn’t exactly sure

but i’m down for i mean whatever if it’s

making little clay figurines of people

and talking to them

that sounds awesome if it’s using them

in some sort of magical way that like

grows a person

that’s cool too i didn’t try that i just

was gonna

i just wanted the eye goo to go away so

the kids in my class

uh could look at me and they’re not

disgusted by me anymore

okay well no i i dr london is there not

a way that we can take the i goop from

this situation

clone billy so then he has the perfect

best friend who understands all of his

all of his issues oh my god i i don’t

know that that specifically is that

technology has to be around right you

think sony does it

i’m i’m not sure the i goop to person

converter

please i hope that’s because you’ve i’m

sorry what was that

i really hope that exists i went on that

so much

well here’s here’s an issue i’m thinking

i have seen cameron with barrels

of a similar substance

after he’s given you know his beard to

children

he’s i’ve seen cameron that you’ve been

kind of hoarding the stuff away and

if your end game is to try to use it to

make a new person

i don’t know that’s well ethical

or even good

you know so that’s if that’s your plan

here no no i mean that wasn’t my plan

before right now

it’s my plan now for sure is to well the

plan now is to use igoop to

clone billy give him the best friend

ever

and then go to mount everest like the

second this recording

okay ends plan before with collecting

any sort of excess

or you know i goop that people may have

or whatever is just you know

i don’t i i didn’t really have a game

plan i figured if someone wanted it so

anyway i guess billy if you would

maybe just ask your mom about allergy

medicine

okay then that that can probably

and also i would say stop drinking the

beer i mean

i don’t try to drink it all the time

it’s just when my mom wants me to drink

because like when she has her friends

over at a ghost hunt um

she doesn’t want me to to like knock on

the door or try to come in or anything

like that

well yeah because she’s busy with her

friend’s ghost hunting i wouldn’t

want to interrupt that at all have they

found any ghosts

um i don’t know if they found any but i

sure hear a lot of ghost noises coming

from

in that bedroom so i don’t know i think

they’re finding them but i don’t think

they’re getting rid of them or anything

there’s more keep coming well i mean

that can be a struggle especially if you

don’t have a priest with you

yeah i don’t know if a priest would want

to come into this apartment my mom talks

about god all the time she’s always like

oh god oh my god so

i don’t know maybe okay wait i have one

other question i’m sorry i interrupted

do you think maybe do you think my eye

goo comes from

uh my rottweiler i have a dog

and like that the dog eats poop and it

also has

allergies and it sees in my eye

sometimes yeah that’s a real possibility

because

there are you know allergens in you know

pet fur in general so cats dogs whatever

and sometimes those can you know

irritate the eyes and

everything so that that could definitely

be a cause as well

um but once again just ask your mom

about some allergy medicine

and i i do have to mention it does say

this on the buddy beer

can but do not let any sort of dog

slobber

mix with the buddy beer it will

if you start seeing the the liquid

boiling

you need to throw that in some sort of

uh i don’t know like metal container as

quickly as possible

well it makes me really want to try that

now

like is it gonna make me die or is it

just fun to look at why do i have to

throw it out it’s perfectly good beer

well i mean i could tell you but i think

you know a curiosity is a good trait to

have

it it’s it’s good to want to learn

things so i mean

you know it sounds like a fun science

experiment that sounds amazing i’ll have

when amelia comes back that’s what we’re

gonna do

okay um but yeah let’s so

since we’ve maybe for now

solved the riddle of what is causing the

eye goop

um we can go ahead and we just

i’m sorry billy if i don’t know if

you’ve listened to our last few episodes

but

we’ve had these chores i don’t know if

you have chores around your house

oh gosh don’t even bring up the chores

look we we we’ve had this chore list

that’s

grown larger and larger over the course

of the last i don’t know it feels like a

million years

and we have been just trying to come up

with a fun way

to just knock off all these shores and

knock off all these tasks

and so we created the chore wheel and we

spin it every week

and we whatever chore it lands on that

just like what we have to do

and you know look i don’t want to have

to do it either i would love to be just

hanging out by the beach

sunglasses on my face drinking like uh

you know uh what’s it what’s it like a

beach drink

like a what like a like a like a like a

milk yeah whole milk like a whole

milk that sounds delicious yeah i’d

rather be doing that um but uh

unfortunately we’ve got to take care of

these chores so let me uh

let’s see we got to get the chore wheel

going uh

dj dillon can you fire that baby up

please yes

yeah unfortunately it landed on

make prank phone calls god i hate that

we have to do this look guys

i do not endorse prank phone calls i

don’t think they’re funny but they’re on

the go

we’re supposed to do it yeah and this is

a legal obligation

this is part of the whole madonna

lawsuit

um community service

is essentially what this boils down to

i’m sorry i want community service if i

get to make

craig phone calls for fun yeah can i do

stuff to get community service too

yeah do you have like a window near you

you could throw a baseball through or

something

oh yeah don’t brag go ahead and do that

real quick okay

all right perfect okay then yeah yeah

you’ll want to make these calls with us

too

i was gonna say um the window has to be

closed for

for what cameron’s talking about it

can’t be an open window that i mean

that that depends if if a stranger threw

like a baseball through your open window

that would be kind of

startling okay i guess i assume try it

again later

outside or inside rather have to try it

again later when the window is closed

that do you want me to throw it now

while the lid is closed

uh i would say you do you i’m doing it

i did it i broke a window okay so let’s

go ahead and start the

call and i guess for all three of us

i you know billy just maybe follow our

lead or if you want to take the lead

i i don’t do a lot of prank calls these

days but

i’m i’m a bit of an expert i can take

the lead on this one i think

yeah but we’re just we’re just hammering

does

prank call me a lot quite a bit so let’s

just do

a random number in the phone book we’re

just gonna shuffle through

and all right dj dylan go ahead and call

that one

hello uh

hello who am i

speaking to that’s really good this is

smoking

barth oh

wait uh you’re

are you that guy who like like collects

teeth or something also known as the

tooth fairy yep

that’s right uh well uh

uh wait are you bit are you busy right

now

gotcha please leave a message after the

time oh

mother oh okay hang up hang up dylan

hang up

god okay said that right that didn’t go

the way i thought it would go

no i hated that i we were the prankies

on that one

all right london you pick a new number

out of the out of the book

okay just

okay okay uh let’s see that one’s got a

little

did you did you write the star next to

the name yeah this one circled

this number

hello before you say anything i’m not

doing any returns okay

if you gave a gold tooth or a silver

tooth for example and you expected more

than a dollar

that’s not going to happen all right so

before you say anything i’ve already

heard it

already no it’s a dollar per tooth

and you already know it okay

i’m sorry is your refrigerator running

is your refrigerator hold on no this

would be so good

it’s gonna be so good are you asking

about because i did get a gold tooth

but i already said i’m only paying one

dollar

no i’m actually so calling about a uh

refrigerator i wouldn’t

i’d do repairs and things um

does your refrigerator and billy if you

want to help out here

is is there a refrigerator do you have

is yours is yours running

refrigerator let me go check

oh my gosh she’s actually checking it

he’s actually checking again he’s

actually checking it no way

oh man what are you i’m drinking so much

your beer right now

yeah oh no well my neighbor meat is

still frozen

so i think it’s working then you better

go cat

oh work uh so it’s so another way to say

work

you’re a young man who runs a business

an upstanding

uh repair business is that what you’re

trying to say

yeah i run a business i guess but

you’re a young entrepreneur okay that’s

what i’m speaking

that’s what i’m speaking with okay yeah

so i just wanted to

so i was just checking is your

refrigerator

another way to say that it’s working

would be like

you might say i don’t know is your

refrigerator running

then yeah

why did you say that why didn’t i say

that no why did why did you say that

oh because that’s the how did you think

the joke yet

are we still in the line no i thought we

were just talking about like you were

just pretending to be like a

refrigerator repairman

hang up hiccup hang up dylan hang on

i love community service okay this is so

great okay we gotta do one

more billy do you want to do this one

yeah i’ve been chugging this beard and

my brain’s getting real strange right

now

so i’m ready to do it okay perfect all

right cool

and a new number because i can’t help

but feel like that one well yeah it was

smoking barth

past guest on this show aka the tooth

fairy

smokin bar seems to have monopolized

multiple numbers here because

that was that was him both times right

it did sound like him yeah

anyway yeah go to the end go to the back

of the book go to the where it says like

zed or whatever yeah

but don’t call zed i’ll take all the

numbers i don’t call zad

hello marilyn here

hello uh this is your doctor and i’m

calling

to you with your test results and we

found out that you have

[Music]

barth you’re not gonna believe this

you won chlamydia and now you take pills

for it to go away

and you have to go to the doctor now oh

my gosh but this sounds like

it’s actually kind of misleading

medically and like maybe

london shut up doctor shut up what do

you mean undue duress

oh what is that uh a person on the phone

how does that make you uh

feel well i definitely don’t like

hearing that my wife has chlamydia

it comes from toilet seats it’s okay

that’s what my mom says

so just take pills and it goes away and

you your wife will be fine

okay let me get hey let’s hang up let’s

hang out

did i do good you guys oh you did so

good billy yeah that was great

i mean i think we can officially say

that we

have completed this chore right for

today have we completed the community

service

yeah okay community services so

it was pretty awesome all right yeah

thank you billy for your help there

or potentially just working towards your

own community service which

is likely just statistically based

on the fact that you are drinking

cameron’s buddy beer right now

that throws you into a whole statistical

64: Spontaneous Pneumothorax/Pylox the elder (ft. stephen reilly)

August 31, 2020 London Smith

hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means

that none of this is medical advice if

you

need medical advice or medical care

please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr london smith

take a seat and the doctor will be with

you shortly

introducing your host dr

london smith

[Applause]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host dr. londonsmith.com

i’d like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners

we’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using such as

cholinesterase reactivating agent and

miso hungi so i will try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron

well hello dr london how are you today

hi cameron i’m uh i guess i’m doing all

right

all thanksgiving you know i shouldn’t

have said hello to you first you know

who’s more important than you or i it’s

our listeners

yes so i should say before saying hello

to anyone else hello to our listeners

and actually

hello to one very special listener dr

london i talked about

a while back maybe a couple months ago

that we actually have a very famous

celebrity listener did i

do you remember who that was yeah it was

well it looked like it might have been

you pushing buttons on a sound board

no no no no no that was our celebrity

guest he was actually on that was

stanley from the office who was on the

show

yeah i’m talking about our our celebrity

listener who has been listening for a

long time

uh it’s our good friend david blaine and

i just want to talk to our our celebrity

listener david blaine

please return my shoes and socks please

please please

return my shoes and socks it was very

funny when you made them disappear

um but i need them to get around and i’m

stepping on a lot of debris and i’m

stepping on a lot of old cans and so i

just really if i could just get my shoes

and socks back

i would really really appreciate that

back to you dr london

okay because i remember that kind of

went viral that video of your shoes

disappearing

and it wasn’t just that they disappeared

because they he pointed to the sky and

said you see that ball of fire

and i think he meant the sun yeah he

said that’s where they are now

yeah he said that’s that’s what it is

now

yeah so i think he was implying that my

shoes and socks had become

the sun which i don’t agree with that um

you know i’m a mormon so i have

different beliefs on those things

yeah you know i believe i’m going to

live famously

yeah now you’ve talked about that most

episodes

it was very impressive the the video

went viral and that was awesome like it

was great for the podcast and everything

but my feet are very cold

um they’re very wet and i would just i’d

really like to get those back so david

blaine

please for the love of god return my

shoes

back to you dr london yeah and i’m sorry

to bring it back again but like

because you’ve also you seem to have

gone out of your way more than you ever

did before to like

walk through mud and stuff because i i

don’t know if you read about trench foot

before or

after but you seem to be trying to get

trench foot wait wait what is

trench foot describe that real quick so

it’s it’s

these infections that can happen because

you you walk through

you know muddy kind of cold water yeah

that describes that describes what i’m

going for

for sure yeah and so and you so you have

all these ulcers

like these open wounds in your feet and

i can’t help but think

that doctor hey because you didn’t do

that before you didn’t walk through this

idiot stop shh listen listen for a

second

do you not see what i’m doing here do

you not see

the lawsuits that we can bring against

david blaine if my foot

has to get amputated because of a large

infection

[Music]

so you think the loss of your foot would

be worth it if you could get the riches

of a potential lawsuit with david blaine

well i just the yes

the amount that we would get is

definitely going to replace my foot with

something

i mean awesome we i mean i could add it

i would want like to to replace my foot

with one of those grabber claws

uh-huh a club maybe yeah but you know

like the plastic grabby claws

i would really like to replace my feet

with that so and i

really think we could be able to afford

that if we’re able to sue david blaine

and then everything

extra can go straight to the podcast i’m

benefiting you dr london

okay and just to just throw in an

alternative in case

have you thought about just getting some

more socks and shoes

instead have you ever tried to

grab something off a shelf with just

wearing socks and shoes instead of

having a grabber claw foot

i you’re not thinking through the

logistics dr london

just move on just move on i mean come on

okay well um

also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

david blaine

david blaine david blaine

david blaine please return my shoes and

talk please please please get again

stop it was very funny idiot

stop

[Music]

it was very funny when you made them

disappear if i could just get my shoes

and socks back

i would really really appreciate that

[Music]

i’m stepping on debris

[Music]

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest

a special wise guest is that what you

said that is right dr london

possibly the wisest guest we’ve had

well all right so uh are you gonna look

forward to that i’m gonna stress

just because our guest is extremely wise

person

it does not mean that it’s shaquille

o’neal dr

london it’s not shaquille i

oh my god the way you’re saying it

though it’s not shaquille o’neal i know

in your face when we get to the guest

portion you’re going to say

you know who’s really wise who the guest

is a shaquille o’neal and it’s

just well it’s the man most known for

his wisdom

reach out to him if you want him on the

show i if i could get him i would

but you are going to have to reach out

for him if this is what you need

the man most renowned for wisdom in the

current age

and maybe in any age before so

yeah i’m sorry if every time you say oh

we’re gonna have this

most wise person you’ve ever known

appear on the podcast

yeah sometimes i think it’s gonna be

shack and i don’t think that that’s bad

i nope does that sound bad it’s not bad

it’s not unreasonable it’s actually

really understandable but it breaks my

heart dr london to see your face crushed

week in and week out

for these last like four five six weeks

now

anyway before we move on um i would like

to address a bit of listener feedback

i found this note spray painted onto the

curtains of my house

the note reads quote

those punks down at home depot are gonna

be sorry they denied

a refund to me so what if i bought it

three yards ago

a deal is a deal end quote

so first of all i would like to thank

you so much for your insightful question

here on the jock dog podcast

to answer your question so so return

policies actually they vary

between businesses but because that

business

is a privately owned one they do

unfortunately

have the right to deny your refund

um after three years or what it really

just depends on their problem what’s

your

return policy dr london for your

patience

when can my patients be returned is that

what you’re asking

no what’s your return policy like let’s

say a patient

came in for a flu shot and then you know

three months later they get the flu and

they want to you know

they want to return the flu shot get a

refund

well their policy they wouldn’t be able

return the shot because that by that

point their body has already

you know formed the antibodies uh

so you just don’t even know they’ve used

it you just don’t even agree with you

know the customer is always right

you know actually treating the customer

with respect and and you honoring that a

deal is a deal

that just is foreign to you no wonder

they can’t no wonder this listener

you know wrote this story into you about

how awful home depot’s acting you’re

acting the same way with your patients

yes i just so they

they even if the hypothetical situation

existed where let’s say they had

the you know the syringe and they have

the

the flu shot you know receipt and

everything

they wouldn’t have the flu shot itself

because it’s already been incorporated

into their immune system

and because you don’t have any respect

for the customer you just see them as a

mark

i don’t think that i see them in that

way but i every time a patient walks

into your doctor’s office

you start doing this and the listener

can’t see this right now but he’s

rubbing his hands going oh baby

and i’ve seen it in person

okay well in any case uh so to our

listeners maybe um

if we could try getting a few more

medical questions in in the future these

ones seem

this one in particular seems really

directed towards home depot

uh and we’re more of a medical education

podcast so that’s

to me that he’s he’s he’s criticizing

your

return policy by using it as an example

at home depot like this is an example of

poor customer service

you’re giving me the same terrible

customer service because i’m trying to

get a refund

on the prostate exam that you had given

me the other day and i

i didn’t feel it was everything that i

had paid for

right and i guess so some pla some

businesses will have a sign up that says

you know status complete satisfaction or

your money back

that kind of thing we we don’t have

those signs up usually because you’re a

terrible operation

and you hate your customers because

patients are customers

that’s what you call them

usually so we can we can go ahead and

move on from there

now for today’s medical topic

spontaneous pneumothorax

a pneumothorax is defined as air in

the normally airless pleural space which

is the space between the tissues that

line the lungs and the chest

so in other words air gets trapped just

outside the lungs which gives the lungs

less room to expand and fill with air

a spontaneous pneumothorax is when this

space is created without any trauma

so there are two types of spontaneous

pneumothorax there’s primary and

secondary

a primary spontaneous wait wait wait

wait hold on hold on you’re able to

create the space in your body without

trauma well it’s not so much an ability

a as a pathology like it’s a bad thing

when it happens

right well the space already exists it’s

just an expansion within that space

okay so it’s fine that every breath i

take is

traumatic no

well no you’re describing it’s painful

every time you breathe yeah and then in

the future i’ll have

flashbacks to every single breath i’ve

ever had

wait when you say in the future

yeah because i wouldn’t have a flashback

to something that’s happening right now

but i’m saying like in the future i

might be

at a kroger or something and i’m going

down the aisle and

i’m looking through the coupons i have

and i’m seeing hmm

i wonder if i could get uh you know the

toaster strudels but the breakfasty ones

that have like eggs and stuff in them

because i got a coupon here

and then suddenly i drop everything and

i start having flashes

to the past and what i’m flashing back

is my trauma which is every single

breath i’ve ever taken

i so if if you’ve had

um painful you know breathing that’s

called pleuritic

chest pain whenever it hurts whenever

you breathe that’s

that’s something you know if especially

that happens every time you breathe

you should probably see a doctor

[Laughter]

it’s just sorry to interrupt the

it’s odd in a sense because you don’t

bring it up that much

yeah i mean i try to keep it to myself

and i try to limit the amount of breaths

i take in any given day

i really only take like i don’t know

12. usually that’s

like the minimum per minute that you

should be taking

not for me you know who taught me this

david blaine wow his famous magic trick

of holding his breath which is

the most magic thing you can do yeah

that is i i don’t think i could do it

so i guess any case so um primary

spontaneous pneumothorax is caused by

spontaneous rupture of subplural blebs

at the apex of the lungs when they

rupture

these air-filled sacs in the lungs cause

an escape of air from the lung

into the pleural space causing the lung

to collapse

this more commonly happens in tall lean

young men

and in these cases patients typically

have sufficient pulmonary reserve

so severe respiratory distress really

doesn’t usually occur

however in secondary spontaneous

pneumothorax

that can occur as a complication of an

underlying lung disease such

as you know copd asthma

interstitial lung disease neoplasms

cystic fibrosis sharp just sharp

tuberculosis knives

stabbing into every portion of your

thoracular area

uh when you take a breath yeah well

you’re

thoracic but yeah uh so this secondary

spontaneous pneumothorax is

it’s more life-threatening because

they’ve already had these problems

chronically you know long-term uh and so

they have

a less pulmonary reserve they they’re

able to take less hits

which i don’t know if you can relate to

that oh i can take a lot of hits

right okay so so clinically patients

will present with chest pain on one side

usually sudden and onset they

they may also have difficulty with pain

or you know difficulty breathing

pain with breathing and a cough on exam

they will have decreased breath sounds

over the affected side

uh of hyper resonance over the chest

you know this reminds me of someone who

dealt with a lot of pain

and and difficulty breathing is our good

friend and listener david blaine

when he was doing his famous magic trick

of um

you know staying in an ice cube or

something for three days do you remember

when he did that

that famous magic trick again

i love how much it incorporates the

concept of magic

him in some sort of a cold house for a

few days

and that really inspired me and i think

he had probably difficulty breathing

because it was probably kind of cold

and a little uncomfortable for like

three days or something

i guess i should clarify the most magic

thing i can think of

i feel like you knew david blaine a lot

more than i did

because i never knew him personally

never

was near him physically i don’t know if

you probably were and you probably

didn’t know it because that’s kind of

his

thing his magic

is that is that how have you ever seen

him

before no i mean no one’s

seen like david blaine it’s more he

you know he he he kind of floats from

building to building in house to house

and city to city

wreaking havoc and doing his tricks he

takes on forms of

you know different kind of people

sometime and creatures and whatnot maybe

it might be a wise owl or something but

i don’t i feel like you’re implying a

lot about

his powers so not

every phenomenon in life that’s

difficult to explain

is david blaine i i should clarify that

now

like a spontaneous pneumothorax for

instance not

necessarily going to be a david blaine

okay

so you’re saying like the loss of my

shoes and socks might be related to

something else

even though david blaine is famous for

making things disappear and that video

went viral

yeah well i don’t remember actually

seeing david blaine’s face in it i

remember your

it was mostly reaction shots from you

yeah and the reaction

gifts it was mostly the gifts that went

viral i guess

yeah all right well so anyway

to go back a little bit to to the um you

know clinical presentation

uh on exam patients with spontaneous

pneumothorax

they’ll have decreased breast sound on

the affected side hyper resonance over

the chest

decreased or absent uh tactile feminists

on the affected side

and a mediastinal shift towards the side

pneumothorax on imaging and that’s in

contrast to

tension pneumothorax where the

mediastinal shift will be away

from the pneumothorax on imaging

chest x-ray confirms the diagnosis of

spontaneous pneumothorax

that’ll show the the visceral pleural

line treatment

of primary spontaneous pneumothorax in

mild cases is

pretty much simply observation and

maybe a small chest tube with a one-way

valve

and that’s to to let the air escape from

from the lungs from that just like when

david blaine himself

escapes from the chains that he put on

himself

when he hung upside down that one time

or something

yeah uh and so so if the primary

spontaneous pneumothorax is larger or if

the patient is more symptomatic

you can give them you know supplemental

oxygen along with

needle aspiration or chest tube

insertion to allow

air to be released and for the lung to

you know consequently re-expand

treatment of spun i’m sorry of secondary

spontaneous pneumothorax

is focused mainly on treating the

underlying condition like i said that’s

copd

asthma that kind of thing oh no i know

you don’t need to tell me any of this

stuff i experience it

now the the treatment of it

yeah just all of it everything you were

saying yeah

all the stuff that you can explain and

the ice box and the

the holding your breath all i got i’ve

got all of it right here

for the listener i’m pointing to my my

brain

well he tried to point to his yeah

um anyway we can uh we can we can move

on from there

if as long as you understand yeah yeah

sure okay okay

[Music]

all right uh cameron you said that we

had a guest today someone who’s

more wise more wise than shaq apparently

more wise than shaq

and even more wise than uh shaq plus one

is that is that whenever he went to a

party or is that the band

the is that the christian contemporary

music band from

like 1998 yeah or is it the little is it

the point he’s more wise than shaquille

o’neal combined with the members of the

christian contemporary boy band

plus one and that’s our guest today

welcome all right

oh i want to thank you for having me

yeah um so my name is dr londonsmith.com

and this is our producer cameron and

what was your name i am pylox the elder

i am a village elder by trade oh pilot’s

the elder

you’re a village elder by trade is that

something you were born into is this was

your father and elder

grandpa trade school i aged directly

into it

i was uh i was born pilax the younger

and then i became an elder after quite

some time and study

okay i do want to i do want to thank you

i do want to thank you for having these

these these torch holders here right in

your chairs

for me to place my torch yeah that’s it

holds it right there nice and snug

therefore uh i’m actually surprised more

guests haven’t used those i thought

stanley from the office when he came on

the show was going to use the torch

holder and he didn’t touch it at all

so i actually i thank you i mean you

said pylox

yes pylox like chlorophyll where does

where does that name come from what is

that does that mean anything or is that

just you know

yes i was found in a pile of

leaves outside outside of a hut in the

just

on the outskirts of the wilderness okay

oh wow so you were just found by someone

who

just kind of kind of just thought of the

first thing that popped into their head

huh

and it wasn’t that’s what his name is it

was pile yeah

yeah they stuck with pile not with the

leave portion that’s really the

structure

well in what infrastructure was made in

my in my culture

uh a pile is sacred while leaves

we avoid leaves they are forbidden but

the pile is really sacred

so we emphasize that okay

i and speaking of your culture uh if i

may ask what

what is your culture well mainly

our culture is passed down from the

elders

to our our children and we mainly do

this by

standing around in circles along around

blazing

huge conflagrations of fire and chanting

chanting all night okay wow

so that that’s so when we ask like what

your

what culture like there’s not a name for

your culture it’s just y’all stand

around a fire

or a place it’s called the elder order

order of elders okay

and is that is that in new york or is

that

we’re on the outskirts of new jersey

sure

okay all right okay that makes sense

so i wait no i want to ask you talk

about like it’s the society of elders so

you’re not the only elder is is pretty

much everyone in you this culture an

elder

in my culture i am one of the elders

and there’s youngers who are around and

they’re there but

we passed down our culture to them

and the youngers are basically future

elders

if they’re lucky what what’s the

alternative

yeah what so what what can a younger

grow into

that’s not a an elder a pile

we lose many of them when they go on if

they go on their vision quests

out into the wilderness oh the outskirts

of new jersey

okay so if they make if they make it

back from their vision quest

if they make it back from their vision

quest they’re promoted to elder

right i kind of like the society because

i like elder typically implies you know

with the select group of people who are

making important decisions

but i like this type of society where

just everyone’s an elder

or on their way to be an elder and you

just kind of rotate them in and out

that’s pretty appealing to me as a

person who has

tried to receive you know eldership and

sort of leadership positions

throughout my life and everyone’s saying

like no we don’t trust you to take care

of things

we don’t trust you to make decisions and

put that down

it’s kind of interesting and reassuring

to hear there’s a place out there that

might

uh appeal to me honestly well especially

the interesting

movement fire society the fire aspect i

love that part of it everyone loves the

fire because that

so that’s been keeping cameron from

position

so far i think is the fire but

with the fire being incorporated to an

aspect of being an elder

that sounds like almost too good to be

true for cameron

yeah and i’m just i’m just so chilly and

i’m very terrified of being trapped in

an ice cube

like david blaine was and so i’d like to

have a torch that i can just kind of

melt my way out of

a fire gives you a an air of seriousness

if you put it down below you and it

lights up your face people

really listen and hone in on what you’re

getting at that’s why i carry my torch

with me everywhere

yeah that that is a excellent point

people do not listen to me or respect me

and i feel like if i was constantly

shooting flames out as i spoke people

would have to

listen and have to respect i’m gonna go

ahead and put my diet slice

down into the other torch holder on the

other side of this chair

yeah go ahead it’s the perfect size for

it yeah it seems odd to put

a drink in one of the torch holders but

i guess yeah

i have a diet slice that’s the same

shape as a torch

but yes if

if it works it works that’s one of the

sayings of

my culture oh your culture is just

if it works it works you all take just

the methodology of you know

you don’t have to do it right it’s just

if it’s if it ain’t broke

don’t fix it so so in your culture

you talked about going on a vision quest

which sounds like

the main returning from invention quest

sounds like

the prerequisite to becoming an elder

aside from

age so right what i would

i wouldn’t make an agent aside that

would be the main issue

the main carrier to be an elder but yes

because to me if

it sounds like if you survive

for long enough you will become an elder

except

if you go on a vision quest and you

don’t return

so that’s i’m wondering what what does a

vision quest consist of how does that

yeah like what what’s so dangerous about

it why did why are half or you know a

number of the people not returning

i can i can uh only tell you about what

happened on my vision quest

um i mean please because we don’t really

know in fact what happens to the ones

who don’t return because they don’t come

back to tell

their tale but life would be rude to try

to assume

yes you know what they say about

assuming it doesn’t

do it i took my vision quest

i got out that morning underneath the

pile of

straw that i was sleeping on because

leaves are forbidden

and i walked towards the sun

which you know led me to the

state of america that’s directly west

of new jersey right but anyway new

jersey

yes west new jersey shore and i saw

uh of fantastic animals leaping about

the sky

i was in pure delirium and i was hoping

that they would

bestow upon me of wisdom

necessary to be an elder in my tribe

and when i got back is that what

happened everyone assumed it did yeah i

think so

so i’m sorry you said you were in

delirium uh

did you partake of a substance

or a drink or anything like that before

the vision quest

because what were you just dehydrated

i did drink a lot of diet slice that day

okay so you were well hydrated

yes yeah it sounds like the so is this

is the diet slice thing is that specific

to you

is that your taste or is that what

everyone drinks before these vision

quests and just in general in your

society

well we have a vending machine and it’s

a slice vending machine i

prefer diet slice that’s that’s mainly

how that

shakes out you should you know you

shouldn’t shake a machine that doesn’t

work

don’t do that if it works it works don’t

shake it yeah it could fall on you yes

so i want to ask pilots sir so

you first of all i want to ask what what

brings you here today is there any

specific

is there any specific reason here today

well

i i in this modern world people get so

swept up in their tablets that they have

i assume they’re tablets i don’t know

what they are

yeah but they’re they’re just they’re

like cruising down a

uh a creek in a without a canoe and

that’s how we say in my culture but you

know i just want to offer them the kind

of the

the wisdom and the teachings of uh that

a more ancient culture

might have for you people like for

example

robes are a perfect are the perfect uh

clothing that you should be wearing more

often they’re so comfortable

they’re they’re the perfect garment

really okay

so i so it’s is that the only reason to

wear a robe is just

comfort i think it gives you an air

of like seriousness and superiority

when it doesn’t make it look like you’re

about to take a shower

so when i walk outside yeah it’s true

and

hold on london not only does it give you

an air of seriousness but it also

allows a nice airflow

so your undergarment area but keeps you

close to the spirits

but when i when i walk outside

and i’m wearing only a robe

and it blows open and i get this this

airflow

and i don’t know whatever spirit’s

greeted me whatever

uh the the sound of heckling

from all around from the neighbors

it hasn’t sounded like respect it has

sounded very critical of

you know my well it sounds like you’re

in the wrong society london i mean

are people’s robes blowing open and up

and all the time over in uh where you’re

from

oh it it definitely happens i mean

that’s one of the the main problems with

robes

and especially since my culture has not

developed

the uh the ability the ability to cinch

robes

closed oh with like a smaller kind of

rope

like robe i don’t you know what i mean

yeah like a belt it’s theoretical

is that word not is that word not mean

anything to you to you

it is yes it is only theoretical in my

culture ah

i’m sorry you have but in your culture

you have

rope we have rope of course but how else

would we

drag our young children out from piles

when they go scurrying about

right i so so you have the rope

and you have the robes and what’s in

theory

is some sort of rope-like material to

use on the road some sort of

belt-like system but that’s more of a

theoretical concept

lost me at the word belt there now what

is that some sort of

some sort of

that is actually an excellent way to i

would say that’s the best description of

a belt i’ve ever heard of my entire life

i’m gonna have to write

write to this down and bring it up next

at the next council

see well okay and cameron is not

necessarily the best person to ask about

this

because he will not wear a belt

i can’t find my belt that’s different

yeah well and

you also seem to they got david blind

yeah

because you you seem to always buy you

know pants or

you know trousers that have such an

expanded waistline

that like you would have to wear a belt

or suspenders or something

but for you you use a rope right

you lost me at pants but i picked it

back up at trousers

thank you so uh look i wear clown

trousers the really big ones that come

with like maybe some suspenders or

something but i take the suspenders off

because they’re not cool

and so yeah i’m wearing these big dumpy

pants but

i get them cheap i get them on clearance

and they’re usually fun polka dots

and maybe there’s little like animals or

something on it

it’s a lot of fun but this is so

irrelevant dr london why are you even

getting into this and getting into it

it’s more i mean my trousers i apologize

it’s because

you know uh pyloxy elder here

he might learn of something that’s

that you consider to be normal cameron

whenever really

it’s just you like the way that you use

a rope to

go you know encircle your body um like a

harness

to keep your clown trousers

suspended with kind of like suspenders

except a lot more work

um and so i i just don’t want him to be

confused about what our modern

culture you know

and that that’s understandable but i do

want to say that’s not

that’s not to hold my pants up that’s an

escape trick i’m trying to escape out of

to be a little more like david blaine

this is obvious i feel like this doesn’t

have to be explained yeah based on this

these sort of things you’re

you’re sharing with me now i feel like

it could really

rupture my my society greatly as

these are just mind-blowing advancements

the idea of

of pants that are held up all the time

it’s very shocking too well see you’re

but you’re introducing the joys of robes

to me

so in a way we’re sort of trading

technologies and

trading ideas and this is what culture

is all about

to speak to your advancements here you

know in just this short a time

you’ve gone from saying trousers only

you just said

pants so that’s you know you’re already

making headway here

and i think you sell yourself short

whenever you feel like you can’t make

these advancements

i feel like i’m streaking across the

cosmos

like one of those lightning bugs in the

sky that i see from time to time

but besides robes what else what else do

you got for us

well i see that both of your your heads

are naked

and i would suggest reeves

i notice in people in this culture they

put wreaths on their doors but those

belong on your heads

by children wow that is true what is i

mean what does that offer is that purely

an aesthetic

choice or is that i mean is there a

reason like laurels

yes like laurels wreaths on your head

it’s

it’s it certainly keeps your head warm

especially that part around the circle

but also birds they can land there

and just have a great time okay

oh wow is that i’ve been saying that’s

something to strive for

for a long time you are speaking my

language sir i love that do you see a

lot of upset birds

lund i’ve been putting a lot of work

into it

making sure birds are attracted to dr

london here thinking that would be a fun

gift and he gets

so mad about it okay i have heard birds

and i just feel like they don’t sound

upset i feel like they’re having plenty

of fun

i don’t know they need to perch upon my

head

in order to you know uh but it’s a gift

from the gods well no it’s from from us

right

even in my culture wreaths do have to be

assembled by hand they don’t come from

nowhere

okay are you are you guys religious

at all we like to think of ourselves as

a pre-christian

era okay even though i would say you

live in

you know maybe a christian or

post-christian era

you we used a different star chart

calendar

okay okay yeah that would explain that

okay well okay so is is astronomy

a big aspect of your culture then in the

sense that

we have the direction of up and we

gaze in that direction from time to time

okay that’s astronomy that’s pretty much

that’s pretty much it i’m not i’m not

sure what you were fishing for there dr

london but that was a solid answer

yeah no i i guess i i assumed that

if they had a calendar based on it then

and it oh okay you’re you’re poking

you’re trying to figure out the case

it made a distinction from our own

calendar

we look up when we use our calendar

that’s how i us

that’s what i how i assume you use your

calendar as well what direction do you

look at

uh for for my account so i have a

calendar on my phone

actually oh wait that might be that

might be advanced for you

that might be a phone is like a robe

it’s like a rope a phone is like a robe

for

um all of the information that exists

in the world but you could but you can

hold this robe in your hands

that’s not so different from me see i

have a robe that’s covered in

stars and half moons and so forth and

that’s all the information of the world

as well wow i mean that that’s kind of

true you have the entire universe

on your outfit i in what in what sense

do you have the world on your robe

like cameron i understand the comparison

is making with your phone but

uh for pylox the elder i’m not sure

in in what way the the pictures of the

moons and the stars

and the planets on his robe dr london i

don’t want to shock you with the

knowledge for my culture but

we are like a bean in a soup of stars

and planets and half moons just swirl it

around

we could say that about any of us i

suppose we’re all inhabitants of this

universe

yes that’s the type of realization you

make and and that’s

what makes you grow up now now now pylox

the elder i want to ask before you would

you had mentioned that you

were coming back from your vision quest

this is when

you were being bumped up to an elder and

you

sort of just assumed that you knew

everything and that you were wise and

everyone kind of assumed that too yes

yes we all so we all just felt that was

about right

yeah it just like seemed like it worked

how i mean is that

is that like what is your ratio to

to good wisdom and bad wisdom that

you’ve been dishing out to people

well i assume all of my wisdom is good

have you seen have you seen the did that

happen i mean

it’s 100 that that’s the ratio is

yeah i guess that’s my question have you

been nailing it like when you throw out

this wisdom to your society has it been

like working 100 of the time or

are things getting kind of messed up

well when

you say your arm gets broken

when we break our arm and we apply a

series of leeches onto the arm

and then the person dies obviously it’s

good wisdom that that person was evil

and needed to die and that actually

makes sense to me

and dr london i think you can start

looking at a lot of your patients and

your practice

in this sort of way so if people come in

with like a terminal

illness instead of saying oh how can i

fix them why not tell them

you know obviously you have an evil

inside you

so and you need to be gone from this

earth

for starters you know that

leeches aren’t usually the traditional

treatment for

you know an arm injury unless it’s you

know there there are a few exceptions a

few

sort of odd things but um generally

because of the word traditional they’re

inaccurate i can tell you for sure it is

the traditional treatment

yeah that is that is absolutely true i

would say dr london you are not the

expert on what isn’t is not traditional

here

okay okay um well

you’re just the nerd just just for the

listeners

that the if you have an arm bleeding out

or something you don’t apply leeches

because there’s already hemorrhaging and

you don’t want them to suck the blood

even more that’s what they need is to

stop the bleeding

you’re misunderstanding the entire point

dr london

that these people are passing away and

getting injured because that is who they

are and it was the wise decision brought

on to them to allow them to die is that

about right

that sounds right to me yes

and again you don’t know a hundred

percent because like you just assuming

that you’re

super wise i don’t know percents

oh that’s that hasn’t made it there

either okay no extremely valid

i get that what what is it

over a v i i roman numeral

we can use that ratio uh

a seven you’re describing a v i do you

mean a seven

yeah vii oh i know seven up because it’s

right next to the doc

the diet slice in the vending machine

yeah but you never knew that one

okay no yeah so i want to ask

so i i want to get back to this because

i’ve been holding on to this question

for a while you keep talking about diet

slice these vending machines that you

keep using

now who who brought this tech has this

technology always existed in your

society or was this brought to you by

someone when did this

when did you guys start this uh diet

slice obsession

because it seems a little out of i mean

frankly it seems like you wouldn’t

usually know what that

is i do remember when the the vending

machines were brought to

my society i was gazing

up at the calendar in the sky and the

oddvark shape of stars

was in the waxing moon position

and then there were vending machines

brought to our society

does that answer your question

yeah pretty much i mean i don’t have any

follow-ups to that yeah and so this is

all

happening in new jersey shore uh

yes yeah so um

i guess do you guys have things like

electricity or running water

anything like that i know you said

you’re you lived in

a pile of straw yes

because leaves are forbidden right but

yeah and piles are sacred in your

society so we have many piles of other

things

like used vending machine wrappers for

example

but of course we have we have running

water through our creeks upon which we

canoe

and uh the i don’t know what powers your

vending machines

but ours are powered by a type of spirit

that i’ve heard called electricity so

you have these machines that are run

is this like a i don’t know like a

bus stop or like a travel stop kind of

thing do you do you have to walk a

distance to get to these machines

yeah there are there they are about a

quarter of a vision’s quest

outside the village okay

that’s how you measure distance is

you’ve gone on a vision quest

and it’s a set measurement

of how how far you have to walk to be on

a vision quest

that’s how how we’ve measured distances

since i was one one thousandth of a

vision’s quest

tall okay okay wow

it measures height as well well it’s it

you know

length that makes sense it that’s

kind of the most that this has made

sense so far in a way i guess that’s

true yeah

well so i’m i’m

super glad about the amount of

information that we’ve learned about

your culture which

what did you say the name of it was or

did it have a name it’s called the elder

order

order of elders okay just in order

it’s not a particular one

look i don’t want to cut things off

early here but we unfortunately have

these chores to do oh

yeah thank you for reminding me dr

london we do have to get to this all

right if

i hate doing these tours they just to

catch

some of our listeners up we’ve had to do

this for the last few weeks

we we’ve had a to-do list that’s a mile

long that’s been building up

all year over year now viruses how long

how long is a mile in vision quests

oh man i’d i would say i mean at least

like uh

like is that a ha like probably a half a

vision quest or do you think that’s

like a double vision quest yeah that

sounds like a double vision quest

yeah that amount that we haven’t

specified so

yes anyway so we it’s probably a double

vision quest

and so we’ve we’ve we’ve had this list

of double vision quests

long and it’s been building up and it’s

been really frustrating so we finally

organized into a chore wheel we’re

knocking off we’re trying to check off

everything that we need to get done

so dj dylan can you just go ahead and

spin our chore wheel and we can just

figure out what we got to do today

yes oh

right it says oh gosh i did not want to

have to deal with this one

it says well it’s a letter from the

mayor actually

so the mayor contacted us i mean it was

about six months ago thank god the

olympics were cancelled

because this was supposed to be for the

olympics

the mayor has contacted us about

creating an entirely

new sport from the ground up one rule

at a time yes that we’ve got to come up

with and

we once we figure it out it’s going to

be an olympic sport

and whoever is the winner of this sport

is going to be on

wheaties the wheaties box and so this is

very important this is a huge deal it’s

huge undertaking but we’re going to have

to handle this right now pilak’s the

elder you’re a very

wise man will you be able to help us

right now now i know

sports might be a foreign concept to you

but have you guys

ever played any fun games or anything in

your society

no i i think i am familiar with this

concept

uh we mainly focus vigorous activity

in our elbows okay

okay so so but that gives us a starting

point

yeah i feel like this is something that

we can really work with

okay so it’s an elbow-based sport

um it’s an elbow-based sport is it or do

is this going to be a team sport or an

individual sport well to start out

i say okay okay oh go ahead i was going

to say like

maybe the way that we we can work

together some but also

you know maybe in order so pylox the

elder just went first

you know he said it should be elbow

elbow-based sport

and so maybe cameron if you want to add

the next detail

of the sport and maybe if we do it this

way it’ll feel like less

work because that’s what i’m thinking

here is it’s so much worse i agree

that makes the most sense to me so we’re

gonna go one at a time

we’re gonna come up with i don’t know

however many rules until we

finally get this yeah because the mayor

has

so in on our backs he has

been on our backs about this i want to

add this elba based game i want to

i want to i want it to be cold as hell

this is sort of a shout out to my friend

david blaine

who loves hanging on ice cubes i think

an important part of this sport is that

it should be freezing cold and that

everyone should be cold and that

everyone’s

teeth should be chattering because it’s

cold so much

okay um yeah from

for my edition so we know it’s going to

be cold

and it’s going to be elbow-based so i

think

um strapped to their heads

these players should have a torch

because warmth should be close by in

case of an emergency

so the top of their head should have a

torch on it

so it will make people take it seriously

too yeah i mean the only way the

mayor is going to even accept this is if

we involve a torch we basically learned

that today

right i certainly

would want to incorporate the screaming

howls and chants that my culture is

known for

that you can hear from so far away

and in in this sport perhaps if

if if that was what was being measured

these

these the uh the amount of these chants

or their

their devotion to the gods would be

great

okay the amount of servitude to the gods

i actually like

that better scream can you measure that

measure the amount of

servitude to the gods

i have this written down this is

incredible

so wait i want to hear real quick can we

get a demo of what maybe those howls

and screams sound like just so we know

okay okay

so i know it’s not as loud as i was

expecting but it is much

better i guess i was i definitely was

expecting something more bombastic but i

i kind of like that i think that works

so i i think i have a connecting

piece here to sort of bring some of this

together we’re talking a lot about

torches and incorporating torches

strapping on your head we’re talking

about using our elbows

we’re also talking about your the amount

of servitude you’re bringing to the gods

so what if you’re also holding very

heavy torches

and the goal is to hold them as high as

you can to the gods to praise them

and you’re in like a cold chamber

because it’s extremely cold

and so you either are out if you

drop the torches or if you

die from freezing

okay it it is a tradition in my

culture to consider someone to be out if

they die

yeah and i think that’s something that

maybe we can extend to these modern

games that maybe we haven’t considered

before

you know back in the 96 olympics when

carrie strugg

broke her hinkle and then just died on

the platform

after her big jump and they just made

her continue on

after that and they threw her corpse i

didn’t like that i thought that was

disturbing

okay that’s a that’s a fair approach

so okay so so far we have once again is

that

at the end of the day this will need to

be elbow-based so i’m going to try to

to to bring that in a little bit we have

torch well

i was hoping i was hoping that holding

the torches at sort of a 90 degree

l angle would put an emphasis on elbow

strength

okay because so i was going to say

okay elbow-wise it needs to be an

elbow-based sport

so even though the measurement of how

much you’re winning

is you know the the sound the decibels

um maybe into the height

of the torches right and the height of

the torches so maybe your elbows

um each side of them will have half of a

cylinder or no sorry a funnel and

if you put them together just so

then you’ll have sort of a megaphone

uh and so the update would be to raise

up the torches

and incline your head so that you yell

through the megaphone made by your

elbows

and that way we would incorporate all

aspects

i really like this and another thing

about this if we’re measuring from two

different things then it can sort of be

judged like swimming or gymnastics where

you know one person get the gold medal

in the butterfly swim

version versus freestyle or backstroke

so some people might get a gold medal in

the voice

versus the height of the torches you

know there’s different ways versus like

who is

less frozen to death yeah and actually

so we should

cut it off i think we’ve got the rules

now because

i would have i want one more i want one

from pylox the the wise elder bring us

home we’ve got we almost

what are the legs doing that’s what i

was thinking the whole time

oh yes what are the legs doing we’ve

talked so much about trousers and robes

today

which i understand that you don’t

necessarily believe in all of those

things

i’m i’m lost at the mention of those

but i i i believe you if

if this is uh you’re supposed to be

doing this sport vigorously

uh perhaps you’re trying to melt the ice

that you are uh standing upon and

encased within

and if you are able to free yourself

then you are like freeing your spirit

ah okay so you know you’re trapped in

the big ice

the big david blaine ice cube but part

of the goal so maybe part of the

measurements

okay here we go so the three ways

that your points are being measured

decibels

height of torches that you’re holding up

amount of water you’ve melted into a

bucket no sorry

four no no i’m sorry you’re right you’re

right the decibels i was thinking of the

the funnel the megaphone oh yeah

and all all three of those equal

appeasement to the gods

the appeasement to the gods that is how

you measure the

the appeasement to the gods this was the

answer to the question that we wondered

and of course it is you know a really

call back to the original olympics which

were

you know in greece and with the uh the

mount olympus

the the mountain of the gods all of that

so this is really a good tie-in

and i’m sorry if you’re not so now we

need we gotta

the last thing is we gotta come up with

the name okay

um i say just keep it simple and call it

ice torture

because people are gonna die and they’re

trapped

okay i thought you meant torture sped

like a torch

so okay oh ah yes

there it is i was just thinking the word

torture

but it’s ice torch er hyphen

er we should add one more word to that

to incorporate

the sound aspect because we’re already

covering two rules

what if you don’t add one more word what

if you just call it ice torture

so you have to yell it or yeah

it’s all caps can it be called ice

scream torture

oh that is also very good there we go

okay

all caps ice scream

torture torture okay wow

thank you so much so finally

we can knock that off of the line no

because

you won’t believe how many calls we’ve

had from the mayor

from the mayor’s commission from the

mayor’s several

subcommittees on this they’ve been on us

about this

oh and we keep telling them we are a

medical education podcast

this is not what we do but

doesn’t seem to make a difference at all

tell that to the mayor you know

yep in any case uh pylox the elder

i feel like you know maybe it’s about

time to wrap things up we’ve heard a lot

of wisdom from you

or at least we’ve learned about your

culture which i think

learning about other cultures is you

know a form of wisdom

in general it’s always good to have

empathy understand what another person

or culture

you know feels and understands so um

anyway if i don’t know if pilak’s the

elder if what if

any of our listeners want to keep up

with you in new jersey shore

you know find out what you know what’s

been going on with you

or anything you’re interested in right

if you arrange your runes in such a way

that it reads oozebear.com

uh it is an online platform i’ve been

told

i’ve been told by the youngers some of

these things but it’s an online platform

for improv and we have jams every monday

and saturday

and i would give you the specific time

of the day but you may be using a

different

star chart calendar than i do right

could you could you spell that out for

it’s o-o-z-e-b-e-a-r

dot com and uh in runes

it’s squiggly line mushroom

falcon star and then of course bear

all right well thank you so much to

pyloxy elder to our listeners you should

check out that uh that website

um i i’m not sure that pylex the elder

properly understands

what that is i’m lost anyway thank you

to alex the elder

thank you to um our producer cameron

thank you to

did you DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

yes village elder by trade

it was born pilax the younger and then i

became an elder

after quite some time in study

it’s called the elder order

[Music]

i am pilots the elder yes

village elder by trade

village elder by trade i am pilots the

elder i am pilots the elder

yes uh my name is dr londonsmith.com

and this has been the jock doc podcast

see ya

you spit the excess blood and the loose

tooth from your mouth

so this is how it’s gonna be you crack

your knuckles

then pop your neck first in one

direction then the other

you try to stay light on your feet as

you back up fists

raise in front of your face absolutely

unwilling to be caught off guard this

time

you run forward first a little slow then

sprinting

but just as you pull back a fist to

strike a blow

you feel the excruciating pain of the

tree branch hitting you once again

dazed on the ground you look up at the

low hanging branch with envy

it must have heard about the mass

deforestation taking place throughout

the world

but somehow this tree was not at all

intimidated by

the prospect of a fight with a human

you decide not to pick any more fights

with trees

because some battles just are not

worth it speaking of a testimony to the

greatness of nature’s bounty

don’t forget to leave a five-star review

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listening

Jock Doc Podcast

63: Chylothorax/Frank s. harris

August 24, 2020 London Smith

hey kids you’re about to listen

to a comedy podcast that means that none

of this is medical advice

if you need medical advice or medical

care please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring

dr london smith your one stop shop for

that

jock talk from a doc who’s been around

the block

introducing your host dr

london smith

[Applause]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

dr londonsmith.com i would like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as salicylate toxicity and

wash your hands so i will try to temper

my terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron dr london dr

london it’s good to see you today ah

thank you right

you usually do not say that that’s i’m

in a good mood today i mean i

i’m a little sad because it is sort of

nearing the end of summer i know we’ve

got

a solid like three or four weeks left

but

you know we’re getting to the end of

summer and i’ve just had a i’ve had a

good time this summer i know it’s been

like a weird year

for a lot of people yes and don’t don’t

worry i’ve been taking social distancing

super serio like extremely seriously but

i’ve just had i’ve just had a good

summer

because a lot of people feel like

they’ve been sort of shuttered inside

and isolating this summer at least in

in the states what’s the difference

that’s probably true for certain types

of people and certain people who maybe

don’t have certain types of hobbies and

stuff like that

but you know you know just for example

like this this last weekend me

me and some friends but we’re you know

we’re social distancing of course we’re

keeping along

a lot of distance we decided to go to

the beach but we were like we were

social distancing like the whole time at

the beach

and so there was a gigantic crowd of

people there maybe like 20 000 to like

50 000 people

but we were i mean like we were all like

social distance like there was no

problem with the social distance and we

were all social distancing

um and so then we started doing um

beer pong and that it was like social

distancing like beer pong where

you know we’re throwing ping pongs into

each other’s drinks and then drinking it

but like we’re social didn’t seem like

the entire time and so then we were

doing like

beer pong and we were doing like a human

pyramid which was awesome because there

were like thousands of people

which so it was like a gigantic human

pyramid but we were of course like

social distancing the whole time

and so it wasn’t of course like it

wasn’t an issue in terms of the covet

stuff but we

you know we were social testing the

whole time and then after we did the

human pyramid with like 20 000 people

we you know got brunch and um

you know it was it’s a cool like new

kind of brunch

where uh you and a group of like a

thousand people just go

from house to house and everyone serves

a different

portion of the brunch but we were social

distancing like the entire time

and i don’t it was just a fun weekend

and i just this has been a summer to

remember

and i’m sad it’s it’s getting close to

the end doctor

i can’t help but think that when you use

the term social distancing

what do you mean by that because that’s

so simple we’ve been social distancing

i mean it’s social distancing like the

entire time it’s been a social distance

friendly

i mean these parties and these raves

that i’ve been going to

and these like cupcake wars that i’ve

been doing

and um these turkey trots there’s been a

lot of turkey trots lately

they’ve all been like very socially

distant and

uh yeah we’ve been social distancing

like a lot

um and it i think it’s been just been a

really fun summer

when you say social distancing do you

just mean like you don’t socialize

like verbally in the way that you used

to is that what you mean

oh no i just mean like we were social

distancing the whole time

yeah but so what do you mean by because

social distancing

oh you’re getting confused on the amount

of time it was the whole time

six feet apart that doesn’t seem

possible in a human pyramid for instance

that seems like you’re gonna be really

touching someone else oh and i forgot

about the mud wrestling

we were all mud wrestling we were

socially distant like of course

and it got to the point where so many

people were wrestling each other and

stacked on top of each other

that i think the people at the bottom of

the wrestling pit

died but not from covet because we were

social distancing

okay i just i feel like this like you

don’t know what social distancing

means that sounds pretty dangerous we’re

doing it the whole time

yes okay well also with us is DJ DYLAN IN

DA HOUSE

[Music]

it’s been just been a really fun summer

social distance

social distancing social distance

it’s been just been a really fun summer

social distance

[Music]

we’re doing it the whole time

social distance

[Music]

wash your hands i’ve had a good time

this summer i know it’s been like a

weird year

for a lot of people and don’t don’t

worry i’ve been taking social distancing

super super like extremely seriously we

were doing like a human pyramid which

was awesome because there were like

thousands of people which so it was like

a gigantic human pyramid

but we were of course like social

distancing the whole time

it was just a fun weekend and i just

this has been a summer to remember

and i’m sad it’s it’s getting close to

the end

oh we’ve been social distancing like the

entire time it’s kind of social distance

friendly i mean these parties and these

raids that i’ve been going to

these like cupcake wars that i’ve been

doing these turkey trots there’s been a

lot of turkey trots lately

they’ve all been like very socially

distant

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest

wow so do look forward to that that’s

true dr london

that is very very true uh before we move

on i would like to address a bit of

listener feedback this comes from

platypi podcast on twitter hmm

so i’m not familiar with that but um

they said i heard you’re

mnemonic for learning 9-1-1 but as a

brit

i have a question can i get a mnemonic

for 999

over here so first of all

thank you to plottiepiepodcast on tw

twit twitter for reaching out twitter i

can help you out a little bit twitter

dr london is the website where right now

ashton kutcher and the cnn news break

twitter are racing to see who is the

first twitter account to get a million

followers

and i’ve been watching this this race

and it’s been so exciting

and i i think ashen’s gonna do it i just

think ashen’s gonna do it but the cnn

breaking news twitter is so close behind

him i don’t know it’s gonna happen

soon okay so that’s that’s what

the twitter that whole competition

is who is asking us about a mnemonic for

999.

because to me at a glance on twitter it

just seemed like an odd last name

maybe it’s a british kind of last name

could be but i doubt it what they’re

referencing they’re wanting a mnemonic

device is that is

oh yeah what are they referencing drawn

do you remember in our first episode

actually cameron you struggled to

remember the numbers 9-1-1

in a sequential order for the purposes

of you know calling that number in an

emergency in the states

uh but 999 actually seems like an easier

set of numbers since they all match

do we do we have any tips for them this

is what this person needs to do

it’s less of a mnemonic device and it’s

more of just

using real world tools because in the

real world you don’t necessarily have

like oh a means this and b means this

and c means this

sometimes you need tools what you’ve

written down what you have on you

so carry on you at any given time a copy

a dvd copy of the omen and then at that

point at a certain point in the omen

666 has to come up i haven’t watched the

omen i don’t know but i

have to assume that 666 is brought up

like i’m pretty sure it was released on

six like june 6 like 2006 or something

like that right 1966 yeah

yes just carry that with you and then

just

flip it upside down and if you can’t

remember to flip something upside down

then maybe remember that a frown is an

upside down smile

okay and this is of course we have to

remember the audience so we are speaking

to the listener who is

the competition of ashton kutcher versus

cnn breaking news

which is twitter that combination is

twitter

and so if you if you find yourself in an

emergency

find a dvd player stick the omen in

watch it you know i i assume probably in

the first 30 minutes

the number 666 will come up at least

once so you know

sometime within the next half hour

you’ll get your phone number

and it’s just that easy so cameron’s

method or

the traditional method of just i guess

remembering it

um anyway well no you just bring the

omen and i really want to stress that

i’m talking about the 2006 remake i

think you said something about

the 60s it was really the 70s that

is garbage 2006 okay i just assumed that

it was released and the universe of the

original film

which again i have not seen i know for a

fact

that justin timberlake’s future love sex

sounds did not exist

whereas in this version which came out

in 2006 i know that it did exist

that makes a huge difference to the film

okay which you haven’t

seen yeah yeah

okay oh wait 2006 version yeah carry it

with you we we can go ahead and move on

from there

now for today’s medical topic kylo

thorax

otherwise known as lymphatic pleural

effusion

achylothorax is the term for when

lymphatic fluid accumulates in the

pleural space

which is located between the tissues

that line the lungs and the chest

whereas other pleural effusions which

we’ve talked about

those are caused by increased fluid

accumulation

chylothorax is typically more of an

issue of a

like a blocked drain so

cameron i don’t know you may have heard

of lymph nodes

so between lymph nodes there are

lymphatic channels

and one of those channels is called well

what are between those

uh well lymph lymphatic fluid

yes is within the channels if that’s

what you mean

so it’s okay but i mean what’s between

those uh

negative space maybe or maybe positive

i’m not pot

so it’s just it’s a fluid it’s so once

again you’re speaking about a subject

you know nothing about

you’ve never researched this you’ve

never even looked it up

all you see is the title of these

articles that you read on like

drdaily.gov or whatever

yeah so i mean lymphatic channel do you

you know about lymph nodes at least

right

nope that’s where you know they’ll swell

up during an infection that’s where

lymph is in between

no sorry that’s where lymph lives in

between those

and then there’s a lymphatic ducts in

between

yes the lymph nodes and then between the

lymph there might be like positive or

negative space i know all this stuff

right okay so uh

so one of those channels is called the

thoracic duct

and that’s you know spoiler that’s in

your thorax

uh a kylo thorax can be caused by damage

to this thoracic duct during a thoracic

surgery

but it could also be caused by tumors in

the mediastinum that press up against

the thoracic duct and compress it shut

or from hematologic malignancies the

average latent period between the insult

and the onset of symptoms

is seven to ten days uh symptoms may

include

shortness of breath increased rate of

breathing and that’s known as

tachypnea and other classic symptoms of

pleural effusions

rarely patients may experience

accumulation of fluid in the pleural

space

causing attention chylothorax which

leads to

you know rapid hemodynamic and

respiratory compromise

so anyway on on physical and i’m sorry

oh i just just you know i it this sort

of reminds me like this is a really

important subject that i’m glad we’re

covering because i think people don’t

focus on the thorax enough

because you think like oh this is just

the portion of the body where it’s kind

of keeping the important parts together

right like it’s keeping my head and my

antenna on

up here on the head part right and you

know it’s also something that like my

stinger is connected to

and people neglect that like hey the

thorax like

even though it’s more it’s kind of

keeping everything together and it might

be kind of boring blah blah blah

it’s really important to take care of

and i’m really glad we’re talking about

this today

yeah i just i maybe i should clarify one

point

that we don’t have you know

stingers or antennas if that’s what

you’re

getting at we do well if we have i mean

we have if we have authority we have a

thoracic region yeah

uh and we would have an antenna and you

might have a stinger i’m

not going to say everyone has a stinger

but obviously some people do

when you say obviously some people do

what what people what what evidence

you make it sound like you’ve seen it

well me and most of my friends oh you

don’t

okay well anyway on physical exam

patients may have

decreased breath sounds or shifting

dullness and if the patient has an

existing test tube remember this can

happen after surgery

uh drainage of 400 to 600 ccs

per 8 hour period is concerning for a

catalyst leak

particularly in post surgical patients

for diagnosis

chest x-ray can be used to spot a

pleural effusion but it’s more helpful

to rule out

other causes of patient symptoms and to

determine whether the effusion is

bilateral or on on both sides of the

lungs

if the etiology of the chylothorax is

unknown a ct

or mri of the chest and abdomen should

be obtained for evaluation

of the lymphatic vessels and to rule out

vascular abnormalities and or malignancy

and there are a lot of other imaging

modalities you can use lymphangiography

when the anatomy of the thoracic duct

needs to be defined pre-operatively or

when the side of the leak is not

clinically obvious

you can and you’re following this

cameron sometimes like

if you’re trying to go through a hole

your antenna will tell you that you

won’t be able to fit into the hole

because it’s like hitting the sides of

it but it’s actually

not the case it’s kind of like with cats

and whiskers sometimes you

can fit through the hole but because

your antennas are sort of pointed at an

angle it’s actually it’s actually uh

hitting a wider space than your actual

head

i think that’s really what we’re getting

to the heart of and sort of the

importance of

education in in medicine today okay and

you mean that

with regard to defining the

the anatomy of the thoracic duct that’s

what you’re relating to here

okay ducks have eaten i mean a lot of my

friends and family um

you know i mean any kind of my any of my

family that might have lived in in

hills um by pawns or anything like that

all right okay so ducks like to nibble

on it so

lymphoskintography is also bring that up

yes i sorry i shouldn’t have interrupted

you it sounded like that was actually

an important moment for you uh i’m sorry

to hear that no it’s fine it’s fine i’m

sorry to hear that about

about ducks eating friends or family of

yours i mean have you been have you been

woken up in the middle of the night by a

by a duck that’s you know 500 times your

size

and you your family’s antennas are all

just going crazy

because everything’s going wrong all of

a sudden and you’re like what

what did i do to deserve this yeah

you’ve never experienced

that yeah you don’t know what the ptsd

is like from that

okay so so lymphoskinography is also

useful for

localization of a leak evaluation of the

thoracic duct patency and

differentiation of partial from

complete thoracic duct transaction

terracenthesis and pleural fluid

analysis are the criterion standards to

establish a diagnosis of chyothorax

alternatively in a post-surgical patient

tube thir costumey output can be

analyzed pleural fluid analysis for

triglyceride content helps to confirm

the diagnosis of calorics

triglyceride levels greater than 110

milligrams per deciliter

that reflects 99 chance that the fluid

is kyle

a ratio of pleural fluid cholesterol to

triglyceride of less than one

is also diagnostic uh treatment can be

with conservative

means or surgery focuses usually on you

know treating the underlying cause

and it is important to remember that the

thoracic duct leak

also closes spontaneously in nearly 50

percent of patients

so uh and i don’t know how that

i’m not sure how that will would really

yeah this is what you were saying

most of that late ladder stuff is

irrelevant to me in my

family i mean like you know we don’t

really worry about disease too much in

my family because usually

you know the way we’re gonna get eaten

is by like a duck or a grasshopper

or something like that or maybe we get

starved out

because the grasshoppers ate all our

food or you know

something like that it’s usually less of

disease kind of thing but that’s fine it

doesn’t have to be about yeah and

i’m just glad we talked about the thorax

finally we don’t we didn’t put enough

emphasis on that in the past

yeah i i admit that i we haven’t really

touched on it

so much uh mostly because we you know

it’s not

we don’t normally refer i guess we we

have a thoracic area but we don’t really

call it the

thorax as often as you know the chest or

you know whichever area but yeah

yeah we can go ahead and move on from

there if that’s all right

sure okay

[Music]

uh all right cameron you said that we

have a guest today is that right

that’s right dr london we have a very

awesome

guest today you notice you notice that i

change

i’m changing up my verbiage a little bit

here

because i don’t want to cause confusion

because before when i was saying

incredible when i was saying

special i was saying all these different

kinds of guests you kept

assuming it was shaquille o’neal because

you’re saying well he’s the only person

in the world who’s that incredible

i guarantee you it’s not shaquille

o’neal and stop

asking because i see it in your face

london london

london it’s not shaquille o’neal i

promise

no it could be someone close i don’t

know we’re gonna find out

okay we okay no and i

no i almost no it could be whatever i

guess yeah

um so uh hello to our guest

uh my name is dr londonsmith.com this is

uh our producer cameron hello

uh what was your name you don’t sound

british london smith

london smith are you american uh yeah

well

citizenship-wise yeah cameron cameron

cameron

yeah yeah you didn’t tell me anything

about this being about foreign relations

you know i don’t have clearance well

okay is he american

look i’m gonna i’m gonna be completely

honest here and i’m gonna say i do not

know because i’ve been wondering

the same thing for a really long time

but i’ve been too sort of embarrassed to

ask

his name is london right i mean the kind

of it kind of assumes i’m

when i hear london i’m thinking of

fishing chips i’m thinking

rain and fog and you know victoria

cowardice

sherlock holmes uh harry potter’s dad

these kind of very important you know i

knew a guy like him

i knew a guy like him we met at an

international conference for

custodial engineers and that guy was

so dim he could not even remember the

emergency number for his own country

which was 999

couldn’t figure it out i told him i said

just remember when the germans bombed

your city

and you wanted to shout no adam in

germany use it nine

nine nine i never forgot never forgot it

by the way i’m um frank frank s harris

frank s harry thank you for having me

okay well nice to have you did you say

you’re at a custodial conference

yeah yeah i am uh well um

i am semi-retired i am a uh i guess

today they call it a custodial engineer

when

several years ago you might refer to it

as a janitor and

maybe before that as a cleaner but when

i started it was just that guy

you know get that guy over here get that

guy over here to clean up that vomit

before you know the vice president wakes

up that sort of thing

okay so it’s very high higher higher up

for janitorial work it’s it’s within the

work itself is not higher up i mean we

all

we all expel horrible waste from

three different orifices in our body but

you know the

the clearance is an issue because there

are some serious issues that are

that are being discussed and sometimes

dealt with

so i assume i mean probably a lot of

what you know is confidential because it

sounds like you’re dealing with very

important people even if you’re dealing

with

maybe like uh maybe not the highest

position

within these uh these these closed doors

but you’re certainly behind i’m sure

sure

yeah but you know a cameron after you

told me about your uh your

your little internet radio show here

that you do with the british doctor

i realized that it would be totally okay

for me to share some of these

confidential secrets because can’t be

that many people actually listening to

you oh yeah i mean it’s got to be just

like just the three of us i would say

the odds of another person listening to

this

are i i mean i don’t

how do i say zero in odds form is that

just zero

think about a solo project cameron we we

have some listeners right we have

the well because we have we track them a

lot

that’s that’s the only reason we have

downloads

we definitely have downloads but i would

say

most of that is through like trickery

through scamming people through

like getting into people’s computers

through you know borrowing their phone

when i see people out

because you’ll send things people in a

file form and then tell them to download

it and

they’ll you know get whatever i don’t

know

money-making scheme you have and then

they’re going to have the viruses

and then they’re going to have the fire

every download has viruses

do you people not sanitize

my god you call yourself a doctor

cameron he you told me this was some

kind of medical podcast it’s barely a

medical podcast he doesn’t know what

he’s doing and i

we’ve talked about his credentials

before they’re in question hey

now i’m sitting out there in your

waiting room sounds like a a movie show

i mean i’m we talking about star wars

kylo ren

you know i i don’t get it i don’t

understand

kylo thorax oh the lorax the dr seuss

book the lorax

hopefully dj dylan this week won’t cut

out all of our discussion about star

wars and kylo ren

because we do spend about 30 to 45

minutes every single week talking about

that but it never seems to make it in

the episode

so dj dylan we’ll see nope that’s that’s

our efforts to remain related i mean

half the podcast was supposed to be

about that but yeah

yeah but so i mean yeah dr london he’s

obsessed with the lorax he’s obsessed

with the lorax’s mustache

he’s british he spakes for the trees

and i can’t guarantee that he sanitizes

that’s an interesting question so

you you obviously have an importance in

your life about sanitizing items and

keeping things clean

how does it affect your day-to-day life

i mean is are all your friends and

family

super clean people also or you know is

that i

am a proud great grandfather

i want to say and of course i have

raised my family and they have raised

their family

to be prepared for a kind of crisis like

we are going through at this moment to

be aware of

hygiene and sanitation as a matter of

fact that’s the name of my first two

boys hygiene and sanitation

and yeah yeah they they got teased a

little bit in school but you know now

they’re both managers at a safe way so

it’s good it’s all good

they’ve reached a level that a lot of

people are never going to reach

and who’s laughing now sure i mean

they’re not a fake doctor like dr london

smythe

but uh you know they’re they’re i’m

proud of them they’re good boys

but the thing is i have worked in some

of the most

top secret agencies the nsa

homeland i’ve worked in the cia

i’ve worked for the bbq and i have seen

things wow and i’m sitting out there

and i’m hearing this man purporting to

be a medical professional

talking about leaky ducts

problems with ducks man

duct tape is your answer all this stuff

about the kylo ren’s thorax with the

accumulated lymph

duct block drains you need duct tape

it’s right there at the walmart

probably next to the register thank you

you didn’t even know that because

his bougie posh lifestyle would never

allow him to walk inside of a walmart

that’s who we’re dealing hold on hold on

hold on cameron

i’m boozy too so don’t criticize the

bougie i’m bougie too

well of course you are sir i didn’t mean

to offend here i mean i

i i think everyone’s bougie in their own

way oh it’s okay

uh bougie people are easily offended i

totally understand

i i did have a question you mentioned

that you’ve worked

at homeland um have you ever dug through

mandy patinkin’s trash

that television show was actually

a documentary say what mandy patinkin

has been working as an agent for the

government

since the 1980s

everything you’ve seen mandy patinkin

in has been a documentary

it’s like the truman show except in

reverse and self-contained it’s in

reverse

so we’re all in the bubble is that what

that means

that’s what you think

[Music]

i i definitely what i think now i mean

dr london what do you think of this i

just

i guess i’m not following completely so

i i don’t

get out to watch a lot of um i guess a

lot of homeland or whatever

uh really i just focus on the medicine

stuff so

you know as you were talking about with

the kylo thorax well i did work for the

fda

the food and drug administration so i

got to see a lot of medications as they

were being developed

including i mean i really really have to

say i was really enjoying what they were

doing

in connection with the pharmacology of

the mk

ultra program when the fda and the cia

were working together

just remember that next time you’re

brushing your teeth with your

fluoridated water

so wait you’ve been you’ve been working

you’ve been working like with heavy

clearance

since mk ultra which was the i mean that

was the 60s right well before that

before that was before that we talked

are we talking this was post world war

i i began with the oss believe it or not

oss is that i was the guy yep us

the you’re the guy yep that

yep so wow yep that’s me i was the one

you know if this is an inappropriate

question do

you know you can just say that uh would

you mind if i ask you your age

according to calendar years calendar

years i’m

almost 86

but i did get exposed

to something when i had a slight uh

i worked on a contractual basis you have

to understand

at the beginning and i had to go out to

new mexico for a certain sort of cleanup

and since then i have found that

um how to say it i’m kind of

benjamin button and okay oh

i’ve heard about this yeah and this does

i mean this does track i mean as we all

know i

the government uses freelance custodians

for their cleaning crews they hire

people

every you know got to get a new contract

every season and then you ship them out

so you’re going to work on that kind of

contract level

people think about mercenaries in the

wet work you know going and

assassinating and killing and private

military

but people don’t think about who cleans

after them that’s right freelance

custodians

were you a child when you worked on

those early projects

because i’m thinking with the benjamin

button thing

i how old like how did you i guess

appear

at those times because now i’m just

wondering

at that time i was i was naturally the

age of 13 but i lied and told them i was

15 so that i could be their coffee boy

okay so wait then what age did you start

oh sorry you looked older at that time

that’s right okay

because so if when i when i reached my

120th birthday i began to reverse

[Music]

okay so when you’re saying you’re 86

years old you’re saying

you’re like 150ish

more maybe but i just look

to be honest i look 86

and that’s i look a good 86. i gotta say

there’s a lot of 60 68

69 year old women that did find this to

be a nice piece of meat

but oh you’re still baby it’s easier

well sure i mean my blessed wife she

went on to her reward

about 20 years ago oh okay on i’m

really sorry about that no don’t be her

reward was half of what i own

she’s very very happy [ __ ]

yeah she received half of what you owned

like in her death

no no she’s alive she sued me and then

divorced me sued me because i

gave her life eternal or the benjamin

button thing or whatever it seems to be

a sexually transmitted thing

and the problem was that she did not

want that because it reversed her

menopause and made her want children

again and

well let’s just say this i’ve got some

half

grandchildren running around that look

suspiciously

like the tennis coach down at the club

are they

also benjamin buttoning the children

sorry the grandchildren they’re pretty

young it’s hard to tell at this point

that is true

very young babies can look very

similar to old men can you can’t you

agree with that

i would say once you get about maybe not

benjamin button but it’s the best thing

i can think of you know

maybe it’s dory and gray and i don’t

know maybe there’s a painting of me

somewhere

so that accident in mexico that caused

all this

what were the circumstances for that i’m

sorry there’s a new mexico i i’m

i wasn’t aware so in new mexico it’s

between west mexico and

uh and greater mexico

never was a geography buff no

nobody is um we all make it up as we go

along we know that

uh no there was what how can i explain

this

uh was a certain branch of the military

had some um

highly advanced potential fuel

that they had gathered from let’s say

external source and come to find out

that stuff was acid and it was eaten

through every level

and so they could not figure how to stop

it it’s like if you see that movie alien

when they cut him and his blood starts

eating all the way through

it was eaten all the way through all the

way down level by level i mean you know

the

installations out there they’re like 40

stories underground so they call me out

there and this has been

not interrupted i apologize but i i need

to talk about this later with you dr

london this has been happening a lot

with my

the soda i’ve been making where if it

spills on the ground it starts

sort of kind of burning leaking through

to the bottom

yeah going through layer like i spilt it

on the eighth floor of a building the

other day it went

right down through to the parking garage

underneath uh

cameron buttermilk i was a buttermilk

okay

that’s what it was that’s what counter

accident

no no no no no it was absolutely an

extraterrestrial acid

it was actually some sort of alien urine

but the thing was

what you needed to counteract the acid

was buttermilk

okay all right and so i’m gonna make a

butter milky soda

this sounds great there you go right so

when i put the

i had to get in there and i had to put

the buttermilk around all of the

openings and stuff to neutralize the

acid and

there was some sort of exposure

long-term exposure to it

it’s it’s what caused my physiology to

begin to change so

okay so is now did it have did it well

did it have any other effects

beyond just your age like have you have

you seen any other like physical side

effects or mental side effects or

anything like that from

well i have um

i do have psoriasis on the backs of my

knees okay which i did not have before

i that could just be from i mean this

was this was like 40 something years ago

right

you’re probably right oh also ever since

that day

i find that i cannot bear american

situation comedies

okay that is really unfortunate

psychological as well yeah not a one of

them

not even the netflix things man not even

those you showed me four cameras in 22

minutes and my

i just want to vomit oh is it multi-cam

specific

well i mean that’s everything these days

isn’t it

i could bear the office but the humor in

it just made me uncomfortable yeah

right just too many cameras even though

it was single cam

you know cameron i was sitting i was

sitting

before this show i was sitting out in

the in the

jock dock plaza lounge just outside

and i was chatting with your lovely

receptionist rosetta

and she lovely woman by the way can’t

make a cup of coffee to save his life

but lovely woman rosette

so on her hands they don’t

they don’t bend around a mug properly

well her nubs

it’s because she’s got arthritis how can

a doctor have a podcast in a business

this size

and let his assistant sit out there with

rheumatoid arthritis serving coffee

dan dr london you should be ashamed well

that’s because but my point

if dr london gets a little too close to

her tries to talk to her too much then

she files a complaint with hr

which is me as she should yo okay

it’s good you have a procedure but you

were bringing up the movie the omen

did you know that also was a documentary

but that was more about the department

of health and human services

so that does make sense but i do

i want to talk a little bit more about

this transformation i mean you’ve

started benjamin buttoning a while ago

do you remember the exact year you

started

going backwards was 19

who was president he was nixon nixon was

president okay

okay so we’re talking about the nixon

years and richard richard richard nixon

not not his wife pat yeah or not nixon

jr either i mean

we all lived through nixon junior’s

presidential years and it was tough

but we got through it again again i

can’t stand sitcoms so i didn’t enjoy

what nixon jr yeah

now i want to hear a little bit more

about

uh i mean what happened after this like

you’re you’re working

your custodial services for the

government agencies you get spilled on

by some sort of like

alien substance of some sort was that

the end of the urine

was that the end of the story i mean no

one like

in the government that you were working

for questioned why you were aging

backwards

after you were exposed to this stuff it

was just well you just continued on

senatorial

a lot of things a lot of things happen

in the various government agencies that

are supposedly up there to protect your

interests as free americans and so

yes unusual things happen they are

documented they attract

i still have to go into the va and pee

in a cup

every 90 days and they don’t tell me why

but in exchange i have

a lovely compound with uh with three

homes and a swimming pool

you know which is not bad for a

freelance custodial engineer

does yeah i would say that’s pretty

great

whenever you’re living wise pee in a cup

it doesn’t it doesn’t burn through the

cup

like you know that alien urine like have

have those aspects of yourself your own

fluids

have those changed at all since the

incident no

i will say it if if you’re around me if

you live with me if you’re in the urinal

next to me you probably think i ate

asparagus and that’s every day now

but beyond that no okay so it just

stinks like hell

yeah you know i’m an old man people

expect me to sting

okay so you say you’re you’re uh you

know you’re partially retired you’re

that means you’re probably working

part-time so you’re still continuing

with your janitorial services right

one does not ever leave the company

you may know um so yeah i’m semi-retired

but

i have knowledge it’s not so much that i

know where the bodies are buried because

it doesn’t matter because the bodies

move around

but i do know how to get certain stains

and offensive marks

okay uh in in time i mean say for

example

that you have just solved a a formula

to to prove the existence of dark matter

and you’ve done it on a

on a napkin and then you know the the

hooker that you’re with

uses the napkin and the lipstick is

smearing the formula

so you call frank s harris he can get

that lipstick off without making the ink

run so you can still see the formula

and the hooker gets disappeared okay

this sounds very i clean it very

well well

well you there was an instance but you

know

the specificity is is definitely

interesting but actually dr london i’m

more interested in the last thing that

said right there hooker was that after

cleaning the lipstick

well after cleaning the lips the

hooker’s lipstick off the note that he

then

gets rid of he cleans

the hooker yeah which i said the hooker

got

disappeared yeah so so

i gotta know a little more about that do

you use

just i mean shout or do you use like

major brands for that disappearing

hooker

or do you use any sort of specialty

cleaner cocktail

invisible ink yes dr london finally he

shows a little bit of

of spine have you ever heard of the acme

corporation

of course right yeah road runner now the

thing is people don’t realize that it is

actually a real corporation

portable hole where else you’re going to

get a portable hole they’ve maintained

that

that patent well i get invisible paint

now you have to have an invisible paint

brush

but i get invisible paint i paint the

hooker

and then she goes about her day she’s

disappeared

okay so she is still sure she you know

she has to put on a little bit more

makeup if she wants to be seen

but there’s some advantages you know you

get to walk around naked and nobody sees

yeah

maybe you can get okay i’m still i feel

like i’m a little still

i mean dr london can i talk to you yeah

yeah just for for a second well sidebar

i need do i need to go out there with

with uh with you

yeah do you want to just play games on

my phone while me and dr london talk

real quick oh no no no i don’t i don’t i

don’t deal with them

them phones i’m i’m just going to step

over here and i’m going to talk to you

right now

okay yeah okay dr london yeah

okay it’s he’s talking about using uh

invisible ink on these people and they

walk away and they’re invisible

is it possible that when he’s talking

about like invisible paint brushes what

do you have he’s talking about something

that’s

not a paintbrush he’s talking about

something that’s uh more

permanently removing these people from

the earth like a

like an eraser like a or like a bigger

brush yeah like an eraser

shape shaped like a machete

or a gun or some sort of poison pill

yeah i guess like or a piano wire a

brush in the short

noose well i would say i would argue

that part of a brush

is shaped kind of like a piano wire at

the start it’s got those bristles

so if that’s what you mean okay so you

think instead of

just using a different item completely

he’s still using a brush that he’s

fashioned into some sort of murder

weapon

murder okay well this is the first i’ve

ugh you were insufferable let’s go back

let’s go back to the conversation

okay okay now frank

i got a couple more questions man i like

her i gotta tell you she’s all right i’m

gonna

i told her about the conversation she

thought it was great i’m gonna disappear

her later

oh it’s gonna be yeah uh i’m gonna say

she’s

busy she is skateboarding

later you you just wait cameron i’m

gonna sneak up behind you and disappear

you when you don’t expect it you gonna

love it nope

we’re uh busy skateboarding later but

maybe next tuesday or something like

that we can talk about it we can we can

reschedule a different time for

everyone sorry dr london you know what

well

dr london i’m not going to be

disappearing that’s kind of i mean

harsh because you kind of you kind of

blend and you kind of bland and you

blend in anyway i mean you look like a

woman had a baby with a vanilla envelope

yeah

so you know you kind of blend in so you

don’t really know

what cameron what’s confusing but you’re

not you don’t look like cary grant you

don’t look like a jacked cary grant like

cameron right

you know what okay what’s what’s kind of

upsetting to me cameron is

like i’m he’s already counting me out

for this treatment you’ve been talking

for the past

what two weeks every day about how you

wish you were invisible

you wish you could just sneak up on

people and today

you finally have your chance and

suddenly

you think it’s bad so that’s what i’m

confused about

i got everything i need in the trunk of

my car to disappear you right now

cameron

well i can take you out back and

disappear you if you want this is

this is i mean dr london you are right i

have continuously talked about being

invincible i

have talked about how fun it would be to

hide on on at the top of splash mountain

as people go by

and uh just be able to wash and then

maybe like splash people when they’re

not expecting it

and i think that would be the best

nobody’s gonna let you on the top of

splash mountain

don’t you know that splash mountain is

the is where the

scientologists keep their antennae

you’re not gonna get up there

well that is i mean i didn’t want to get

into that in the podcast but that was

part of you can get on the matterhorn

you can get up on the matterhorn if you

want but not splash i can get up on

splash mountain don’t worry i’ve done my

like dianetics test and whatnot so i’ve

got

are you clear i not yet but i’m like

i’m like getting there i’m like so close

i need like 30 more coke tops like coke

bottle caps

and then i’ll finally oh okay so

i’m sorry to to change the subject

slightly

but i just want to make sure we cover

exactly so so what i thought you were

here to do

uh mr frank s harris i thought you were

here to explain like how to sanitize

things

uh you know with the with this virus

going around how to make sure we all

stay

clean and healthy and well i can

absolutely well i mean like i said it’s

something i raised my children

and i got to say cameron i was listening

to you talking about your weekend and

your beer pong and your 20 000 person

human pyramid and

i did a little bit of calculation you

and your group

took up five square miles for your

brunch yes if you were social distancing

correctly

yeah i mean so that’s what i want to

know did you take up five square

miles with yogurt unfortunately i didn’t

have a drone or any sort of aerial view

of the space so that would be really

difficult to measure

but i how can you properly socially

distance without a drone we were social

distancing like we were having a lot of

fun and you know it was a great time

i do i want to i want to hear a couple

secret cleanups though secret spills

that you’ve dealt with over your career

i mean let’s

talk about some real stuff right here i

mean john f kennedy well i wanted john f

kennedy was shot in a vehicle

i assumed someone had to clean up that

vehicle afterwards because obviously

they’re not just going to throw it away

someone’s going to use it is that i mean

were you involved in that clean up and

that

spill i was the one that had to supply

the gigantic ziploc bag to put that car

and that was oh because there was a

challenge yeah

it was evidence and we had to stay and

it went to it went to area 52. you know

it’s in storage

you know because well you know it’s

still a good source of dna for the

clones

the blood all over it you know and that

sort of thing so we still make the

clones

i gotta stop real quick we’re just we’re

just glossing over the clone

thing here who who jfk is being cloned

well not just him no not just him don’t

limit it i mean how okay

yeah how wide is this net how many how

many people are being cloned

hmm i’d say about uh

five percent of americans what five

percent of americans are the

are they all important people or is it

just

many of them are important many of them

are wealthy

many of them but most of them are just

genetically

good stock okay so

you made it clear that i’m not one of

those that be cameron would be

no no i’m sorry we wouldn’t be

interested in you we’ve already got our

cameron clones but thank you

wait a second this is interesting

in what way you’re saying i can because

he was just about to tell me

someone who’s exactly like myself

huh oh i was gonna say are you saying i

can marry someone

exactly like myself finally

well sure man the whole point of this

podcast i mean from the beginning was

talking to doctors and scientists and

trying to figure out how to clone myself

so i can finally marry the only person

who deserves me which is me

i will say though cameron your clones

your clones are completely hairless

that’s fine are you sure it’s kind of

cute

they do not have eyebrows they look

constantly surprised

i mean i would say they look yeah like

constantly going through chemo which

would be a surprise

pretty much and so

then you’ve got sympathy right there

built in

well i mean if you want to meet them

we can talk but you know it’s a one-way

trip okay

i mean well what do you mean

all right look i’m staying up here

because i believe

that we can get through this crisis

together if we can all get on the same

page but i’m not the only one to believe

think there’s a lot of people think

differently than me and there’s a place

and there’s a place where the clones and

the rich people are populating

to survive a disaster like this

and i mean and you’re cleaning up

they’re cleaning up what they’ve left

behind

i’m kind of like the bodhisattva of

janitorial custodians i could go to

nirvana but i stayed choose to stay

behind

and clean up so people like you and dr

bland here

can still have the life of a free

american what

dr london i’m gonna be honest i’ve done

a complete 180 on this guy i was pretty

sure he’s going to kill me before and i

he is no

i’m gonna disappear but you literally

become invisible

he’s gonna disappear me and i’m kind of

okay with this now all of this sounds

awesome

what are your thoughts uh i feel like we

kind of skipped over the um

you know the what i consider to be the

more relevant medical aspects of

having a custodial guest on the podcast

especially one so high ranking

um in his career but you know we have

run across a few interesting things

maybe we’ll just have like a i don’t

maybe we’ll send out a memo or something

for i just want to make sure our

listeners stay safe that’s all

but you know that being said we can go

ahead and

uh wrap up i guess unless real quick i

just want to say i think you need to

stop concerning yourself with whether or

not our listeners are safe because i’ve

made it where our podcast

is only audible if you’re going over 120

miles per hour

right so i would assume most people

listening to this show

are going very very fast in their car i

assume we have

quite a bit of like audubon you know

listeners i’m not exactly sure

but uh i will say as i was listening to

podcasts in preparation i found out that

the podcast player no longer works

unless i wrap my phone in a mask that’s

just to keep you safe

that is also true that yeah the london

made me do that i don’t you know i don’t

agree with all of that stuff but

well i just agree and i just think

all you need really is social distancing

like i did with me and my friends no i

think people should wear masks

masks make you look like a superhero

people should totally wear masks to be

superhero um

so uh mr uh frankess harris

uh as we wrap up is there any way for

our listeners to

reach you or you know follow up i don’t

know if you’re on social media or

anything like that

if you do want to reach me if you’ve got

a question what you need to do is go to

the website

of the social security agency and when

you go up to the change languages you

will see an

option that says frank it will take you

to a private message and

and i can probably give you some tips on

how to get that blood out of your shack

carpet

okay wow much easier than just

you know asking jeeves or whoever real

quick

one more question as we go out

alien residue i want to clean it up what

do i need to clean it up with

buttermilk that’s it the same with the

alien

p it’s just any sort of alien residual

yep even if you got aliens charging you

down and you got a cow nearby

point and utter in their direction and

squeeze

aliens are lactose intolerant

oh so this isn’t gonna science it’s not

gonna like defeat the aliens it’s just

going to sort of upset them yes it will

defeat them they will explode

yeah they’ll be uh yeah they’ll be on

the toilet where where

where ever okay so wear plastic

shoot buttermilk or whatever kind of

milk

okay um well thank you for all these

tips

mr frank s harris all right thank you so

much

yeah and cameron i’m gonna be waiting

for you out behind the building you

won’t see me

is that because you’re gonna disappear

yourself first

oh god no i don’t want to die um thank

you to

cameron our producer thank you to mr

frank s harris for being on the show and

sharing with us his custodial tips thank

you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

i think people should wear masks masks

make you look like a superhero

[Music]

i’m sorry dr london but you’re kind of

bland anyway i mean you look like a

woman had a baby

this has been the jock doc podcast

see ya

[Music]

even if you got aliens charging you down

and you’ve got a cow nearby point an

udder in that direction and squeeze

aliens a lactose intolerance

aliens are lactose intolerant

[Music]

you wipe the sludge from your face well

you try to but this slime has a certain

greasy heterogeneous texture that is not

as amenable to the classic wipe motion

as you had hoped

well maybe meow you have finally learned

your lesson

when a giant bug crawls into the kitchen

and it just looks like one of those

delicious bugs that were famously eaten

in the lion king movie

the appropriate course of action may in

fact not

be to lift the bug over your mouth and

try to squeeze out the juicy insides

next time just bite the bullet and make

the stupid smoothie like everyone else

does

speaking of biting the bullet don’t

forget to leave a five star review of

the jock doc podcast

in which you describe your own bug

eating habits and while you’re at it

go ahead and share the jock doc podcast

with a friend or foe

you can send them a link to your

favorite episode or just send them our

handy website

JockDocPodcast.com and don’t forget to

take a peek at our post on social media

we are @jockdocpodcast thanks for listening

Jock Doc Podcast

62: Exudative Pleural Effusion/Janet Montgomery & Luna

August 17, 2020 London Smith

Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice

so if you need

yeah medical advice or medical care

please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr london smith

sit back and get loose with dr

l and his produce producer

introducing your host dr

london smith hello

and welcome to the jock doc podcast

where we discuss

fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring i’m your host

Dr. London smith (.com) i would like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some

feedback about the overuse of technical

medical terminology

such as exertional heat stroke and

frappuccino

so i’ll try to temper my terminology to

a simpler one in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron hello hello

hello hello dr london i’m in a good mood

today okay

is there a particular reason for that i

am excited to make new friends today

and i woke up today and i decided you

know what i’m gonna do

i’m tired of my old friends which is i

mean for the

it’s for the most part it’s you yes and

then a series of

kind of destructive gurus um

but you know i thought today i’m gonna

make some new friends and i’m excited

about that

okay well so you think of us as friends

i i think of you more

like not to be rude or anything i think

of you more as just uh

an associate a business associate if

that makes sense oh okay i didn’t

realize you

called your business associates after

you went on a weird date and

cried i didn’t realize that was

something you did wow

i thought that was something you would

do to your friends but apparently i was

wrong about that yeah it sounds like you

were um

but uh anyway it’s nice but anyway i’m

here

i want to make new friends today and one

thing that

sort of frustrates me about the medical

community and even the podcasting

community

is that i feel like sometimes it an

alienates

people who uh might politically disagree

with one another

you know what i mean and that’s not what

this show’s about we’re a non-political

show we don’t usually go down that

avenue

so in order to make new friends and to

to open this podcast up to

sort of a a new group of people i am

going to make this an extremely pro-gun

podcast violently pro-gun podcast

i’m sorry you’re you were gonna make

this a very pro-gun podcast

i don’t see how that’s i mean

it’s you know we have those listeners

and so

oh by by

opening up our arms a little bit

to these audiences and and not just

being like oh i want a specific type of

person i don’t i don’t want a person who

might disagree with me and so to make

this

show a little more um pleasing to that

kind of crowd we’re gonna be playing

noises like this

throughout the show

okay

and hopefully people who love these

kinds of sounds and maybe get excited by

these kind of sounds

and and hear these things and say oh i

wish i was there i wish i was the part

of that

now this podcast is for those people you

have been

hanging at me for um you know not

appealing to

every crowd so i guess this is this part

of that campaign to really

be specific and appealing to so yes to

the lovers of guns out there yeah this

is this is casting a wide net

uh you know it’s it’s saying that

there’s lots of room under under these

tree branches for everyone

sure okay

all right well also with us is DJ DYLAN

IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

yes

a very programmed podcast yes

[Music]

i am going to make this an extremely

pro-gun popcorn podcast

[Music]

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest

so look forward to that

[Music]

before we move on i would like to

address a bit of listener feedback

i found this note written on a post-it

that was attached to a nail

that had been stabbed into me during my

weekly evening

gentlemen’s fight club match the note

reads quote

other than my brother keith who died in

a car wreck

we never wore seat belts and we turned

out fine the only belt we needed

was the whooping belt r.i.p keith

1952-1971

end quote first of all

i’d like to thank you so much for your

insightful question here on the jock dog

podcast

we we’d love to hear back from our

listeners yes uh to answer your question

though

seat belts actually do you know famously

save lives

yes and i’m sorry to hear about your

brother keith

yes uh hopefully we can all display some

learning from such mistakes by

going ahead and wearing seat belts uh

while we were using

automobiles whoa whoa whoa it doesn’t

sound like they made a mistake or they

don’t feel like they made a mistake

they’re just saying you know stuff

happens sometimes

completely unavoidable well it sounds

to me like it was pretty avoidable if

they just worn a seat

well belt only reason you think that is

because you’re obsessed with strapping

people down

isn’t that what you doctors do you bring

people in on a

on a stretcher and they’re strapped down

and they’re saying what are you doing to

let me go let me go home and you’re like

no i

i feel like i’m not usually like that

i’ve had a lot of experience with you

doctors and every single time

it that’s exactly how it ends up even if

i’m going to like the podiatrist or

something

somehow i end up strapped to a stretcher

and i’m screaming let me go let me go

home well

so if you are going there and becoming

violent

no matter where you are there’s a fair

chance that you will be

subdued to something you’re just just

just saying

you’re just obsessed with belts let’s

just leave it at that

i i guess you like you like belting

people down and so

you hear this thing you’re like oh uh

strapping someone to their car seat

where they can’t

you know like be free

or you know if they want to do cool

stuff like maybe like

you know like stick stick their body

halfway out the window while they’re

driving and like wave to like some cool

girls or something

mm-hmm i i can’t help but feel like

you’d rather people don’t do that

so you think even for car seats this

rule shouldn’t apply

of wearing seat belts yeah yeah okay

well no i guess

i’m for like no rules

yeah i i just feel like maybe this rule

is there to help

people does that make sense well so i’ve

become

sort of a rebel recently this just

happened

like two weeks ago wow so

i decided to start being a little bit

more of a rebel so

sometimes i do stuff now like i’ll go to

the grocery store most of my rebellion

is grocery store related

and i’ll sort of just like knock stuff

off the

uh shelves or um

you know i’ll yeah you will you can get

a sharpie

and i’ll like write a different

expiration date

on on different items than what’s

printed on there and people are like oh

should i believe what’s printed on there

what’s sharpied on there by some guy

anyway i’m just sort of in a phase of my

life where i’m just really anti

rules at all so that includes seat belts

that includes seat belts on planes that

includes like seat belts when you’re

like doing like like boating yeah

what do you um so two weeks ago you said

what is there anything that happened two

weeks ago that triggered your rebellious

state

yeah i so i knocked some stuff off the

shelves at the grocery store

um but this time was on accident and i

knew that the rules stated the rules

that

us that society has tried to get me to

they you know they point a finger at me

and they say you should pick that up you

knocked it on the ground you pick it up

and i thought no okay so that’s you

you knocked something off a shelf and

then said no to picking it up and you

liked that feeling

yeah and that was like that was the

first rebellious thing i’d ever done

and it felt i mean dr london i’m not

gonna lie it felt good to be bad

wow oh that’s you know i’ve heard that

some some ladies are actually you know

attracted towards

uh the quote bad boy yes end quote

so a bad bad boy with a machine gun

maybe

yes okay yeah yeah

but maybe well

in any case we can just go ahead and

move on

now for today’s medical lesson exudative

pleural effusion

a pleural effusion is a buildup of fluid

between the tissues that line the lungs

in the chest

an exudative pleural effusion is when

there is inflammation of the

pulmonary blood capillaries which makes

those more leaky

the larger spaces in the capillary walls

allow for fluid

immune cells and large proteins such as

lactate dehydrogenase or ldh

to leak out of the capillaries the

causes of excitatory fusion can vary but

include

you know trauma malignancies like cancer

inflammatory conditions like

lupus or an infection like pneumonia and

if it’s caused by an infection

then that bacteria can actually get into

the pleural space to such a degree that

acts like an abscess with fibrinous

walls and loculations

and if oxidative pleural effusions are

left untreated they can lead to

emphyma which is when there is pus

within the plural space

yeah as gross as that sounds but what if

that’s clinically this is

this is where i’ve got a i’ve got to

chime in a little bit i think okay

one thing that we’ve learned a lot in

the last few years just as a society is

that

the medical systems views of almost

everything are extremely limited

right i think we can all agree on that

just yeah universally

well based on data so well so

you present this scenario and you say if

you don’t want

like you know bags of fluidy pus

then don’t do x y and z but you’re not

even asking the patient or asking people

if that’s what they want

yeah you don’t think there’s one person

out there who wants like a big

like a big old bag of juicy puss i guess

because well we haven’t gotten to the

symptoms yet but um

you know it’s usually not pleasant for

the patient to have that

which is why we what is a beautiful

woman’s

breast if not a giant

giant bag of pus and we as a society

view that as beautiful well

it isn’t uh it isn’t beautiful

well it a breast is not filled with pus

that would be a sign of an infection no

fatty breasts have a lot of fat in them

if that’s what you meant adipose tissue

wow so but i i see where you’re coming

from that maybe at a glance

since they’re both like whitish material

can have some

chalkiness to it sometimes that maybe

that’s the similarity but

they they do differ in terms of you know

what the material that makes them up

if that makes sense it

doesn’t but i think the point is is that

like let people choose

[Music]

right okay well anyway so to move on to

sort of the reasons why you might not

want

pus filled lungs uh clinically patients

may be

asymptomatic and this is for an exudated

pleural effusion so it’s before that

the the pus happens uh so they may be

asymptomatic or they could have

shortness of breath on exertion

peripheral edema or difficulty breathing

while lying down flat

uh or orthopedia on exam these patients

may have signs

such as dullness to percussion decreased

breath sounds over the effusion

and decreased tactile feminists and

that’s of course when the

physician feels in the patient’s back or

the patient speaks to feel for a

difference in vibrations due to

conduction from the fluids they’re in

diagnosis can be made with x-ray chest

x-ray

typically revealing a blunting of the

costophrenic angle

though about 250 milliliters of pleural

fluid must accumulate for it to be seen

with this imaging modality

a ct scan is better for detecting

effusions and if the etiology is not

obvious a thoracentesis can be done

which can provide valuable clinical

information and also

allow drainage relief for larger fusions

oxidative pleural effusions as opposed

transitive they’re not as clear in

appearance the fluid

uh and in terms of laboratory values the

light criteria is often used

so according to the light criteria a

pleural effusion is considered

exudative if the ratio of pleural fluid

protein

to blood serum protein is greater than

0.5

if the ratio of pleural fluid ldh to

serum ldh is

greater than 0.6 or if the pleural fluid

ldh

is more than two-thirds of the upper

limit of normal ldh levels in the serum

although it isn’t part or if the patient

wants to

okay well so so this isn’t a matter of

choices

whether to do

[Applause]

as opposed to being told what to do

by you know big government and

know-it-alls

who always try

to tell me what to do at the doctor

right okay so um although it isn’t part

of the light criteria an additional

feature of

exited pleural effusions is that they

typically have a pleural fluid

cholesterol level

of over 45 milligrams per deciliter

treatment of vaccinated pleural

effusions is with diuretics and sodium

restrictions along with

the aforementioned thoracentesis though

treatment of the underlying cause

remains paramount because

as i mentioned that can be cancer so

that’s

you know something to consider

if the patient wants cancer

again why not give people the options

for these kind of things

to have it’s wrong for doctors to sort

of spring

cancer on people yeah do you think that

a patient would want cancer

no i think most people would opt out of

it that’s why you should give them the

option

okay sometimes choice well

it’s all right we can we can move on

from there i guess

[Music]

all right cameron uh you said that we

had some guests today is that right

that’s right dr london not just one

but two very very very special guests

and i do before you even think about

asking because i look at that glimmer in

your eye

and it’s already pissing me off a little

bit yeah just because

i say that the guests are special people

and they’re talented people and they’re

awesome people

that does not mean that they are the

special awesome talented shaquille

o’neal

i just because he is a very special

person who is very tall and can dunk

very hard just that doesn’t mean that

no one else can be special you

understand that right because this i’m

tired of explaining this

what i mean it’s not shaquille o’neal

and so you

you checked on that you’re you’re sure i

know

for a fact that it’s not shaquille

o’neal like i know it’s not

and i’m so it pisses me off that i have

to even explain this every single

time now well i i i i guess i’ll take

your word for it or we’ll find out

we’ll find out it could be it could be

shaq uh

yes uh hello there so my name is dr

london smith.com

uh this is my producer cameron welcome

to the jock talk podcast

uh what were your names uh it’s janet

montgomery

okay and yours hi my name is luna

just like is it just

like share kind of thing just luna one

one word

she doesn’t like to talk about it oh

it’s private

okay no no no no no i think no more

people should you misunderstand

she doesn’t like to talk about the fact

it’s just

one name

okay so just bringing it up at all i’m

i’m very sorry i didn’t realize that

this was gonna be such an issue

um but you can just call me luna

though okay so that’s that’s permitted

okay

well luna and uh miss janet montgomery

what brings you on the podcast janet

over here is actually a colleague of

mine

uh we co-wrote a book

it’s a therapy book because we’re both

therapists

okay wow that’s a great branch of

medicine because often we as physicians

will send people off to get therapy

but we don’t all forget to hear directly

from the therapists themselves

so this will be i i assume it’ll be an

enlightening experience

and trust me dr london could benefit

from

finally talking to a therapist we’ve

done these group therapy sessions before

and he barely says anything okay that

was a patient patient

and like it’s a medical emergency you

just need therapy

is what it is a generally agreed upon

opinion

have you read our book no i have um and

so yes

for our listeners uh they’ve come out

with this great book it’s

jenna montgomery and luna present

um how to it’s a how-to

and that’s sorry how to colon

it’s a how-to uh-huh

yeah and so anyway that

the title to me sounded a little bit

ambiguous

you know you know we have gotten that

comment

and it’s actually kind of the point it’s

kind of like with the human brain

we just want to like grab the attention

and if you don’t know what

this book is about and you see that

title you’re just going to be drawn to

immediately and then it’s just like that

we’re trapped

you’re trapped we have you is that is

that

kind of how you see your clientele and

your patients that you’re trapping them

i definitely think for my patients that

they are trapped

see and this does go along with what i

was saying earlier dr london about

how doctors of all sorts of different

fields

whether it be hospital medicine or

whether it be mental health

are very very interested in trapping

their patients possibly striping them

down

you know that that actually brings up a

good point

strapping is a big part of

therapy of the type of therapy that i do

um sometimes it’s things that you wow

like strapped down sometimes as things

that you might

strap on right so

yeah i remember and i like so whenever i

say that i read the book

it was more like i kind of you know i i

skimmed it

um but yeah i remember chapter 40

was just entitled strapped

and you talk about strapping food items

to yourself

and could you go into a little bit about

how you use

food and strapping it upon yourself as

therapy um i i have to cut in that must

have been

your chapter luna oh yes yeah

but you did one similar uh

not strapped but

being trapped trapped so did y’all not

read each other’s chapters it was just

you just went on your own

i didn’t actually read your chapters did

you guys read each other’s chapters when

you co-wrote or did you just alternate

chapters we alternated chapters

i know it might so you don’t neither of

y’all know what’s in half

yeah i mean apparently so it was about

therapy

so when you went to your publisher was

your problem that you only knew

one publisher between the two of you or

only one of you felt like

you only felt like writing half a book

listen we went to our separate

publishers we had

two separate books but we decided it

would be better to collaborate

so we just alternated every other

chapter my chapter

one is her chapter one and then her

chapter two

is our chapter two and we just switched

back and forth

and that made our book we published it

ourselves okay yeah and

you know that’s i kind of like that it’s

a very artistic and very creative way to

go about the writing process

okay you know what i want to know i want

to know what

luna wrote about i’m very curious what

fruit is being strapped and why well

i don’t mean to quote your own book to

you but that was chapter 40.

yes and so okay well i i mean

so if i remember correctly you had

so some of the books seem to get into

some types of therapy that i’m not as

familiar with

uh you know i’m used to more i don’t

know uh

like there’s uh psychoanalytical therapy

there are these different kinds

cognitive behavioral therapy

and this book seemed very focused on

physical acts that you do with another

person or thing did you only read the

even chapters

i i i was skimming through them the type

of therapy that i practice

is actually a long long used

um tradition between humans

of all like races and colors and

animals wow okay it’s just all about i

mean this is the kind of big

tent stuff i was talking about at the

beginning of the episode like it doesn’t

matter who you are

you know we want to be your friend we

want you to be a listener of the show

and maybe we want to we want to work

with uh with with

uh luna here yeah

i mean i offer really great work

i’m very hands-on with my therapy

okay what so what what’s going on what

is your therapy

sex therapy like gender therapy

right so she’s like no like

the birds and the bees no

no you refer to each other as colleagues

and you don’t know what type of therapy

you’re sex slash gender therapy the same

thing gender

okay gender therapy

okay sex therapy is synonymous with

gender therapy

okay so this is the type of therapy

where okay i guess i don’t

okay i don’t talk anything about

intercourse yeah it sounds like luna

what are you talking about the type of

therapy that i do

and give it’s completely sexual

um and when you say that

um because because okay another thing

i’ve heard of and started interrupt here

but so i’ve heard of like a sex

therapist and people who are having

trouble with their romantic lives

privately their their intimacy issues

they’ll have a particular therapist that

they’ll talk to about that

and they’ll explain tips things to

help them no that’s what i do okay but i

just show them

because that’s how you really learn

you know like hands on gotta get in

there

get your hands dirty kind of learning

therapy and see i have talked about this

before

on this podcast that i certain people

are different kind of listeners

some people when they read it they get

it some people just really need to

get in there and see it all for

themselves

yes thank you thank you for hearing me

this is very disturbing for me

to get back to that chapter you talked

about so

oh oh okay oh that’s my

phone um i do apologize i have to get

going

i there’s a client with an emergency

a sex therapy emergency yes

it is 11 o’clock at night

no that’s uh that’s fine thank you for

your time we we appreciate having you on

yeah

i trust my colleague janet here will

speak

on both of our behalves i appreciate you

go to your appointment all right well um

luna luna left but can i just say

now don’t tell her i said this but i

think

that she sleeps with her clients

yeah yeah i didn’t want to say anything

but

when her phone rang it said mr

peaty no it didn’t and i felt like

that’s probably not

like uh like someone she knows in a

professional context and so i

i definitely raised some questions did

you see how much lipstick she put on

before she left

and she even asked she said is this

enough and i said yes

and then she put on more wow are you

guys thinking what i’m thinking

yeah well because what i’m thinking is

so you guys co-wrote a book together

even with the alternating chapters and

in any of that process

you never questioned whether

you know you’re on the same page you

know she said stuff

she said stuff like intercourse

and penis and vagina and all that kind

of stuff

but do you know what i i never

understood her to say she was talking

about sex

like when we talk about gender studies

we talk about the penis we talk about

the vagina

well okay and this is kind of a family

show so we are going to

okay sorry to paint the picture for you

and i didn’t realize we would have to

clarify this

what what normally happens as far as i

understand from our analytics

is that the whole family you know

grandparents great grandparents everyone

gathers around

the phone as it plays the podcast

this podcast this podcast yes good good

good

okay so penis and vagina

these are the terms that the whole

family knows i’m not using explicitives

okay

yeah that is true dr london that’s okay

you make a

fair fair kind of point um anyway so

so back to you you co why are you so

uncomfortable

with the words penis and vagina

well it’s just one of those things where

like that’s you know sort of a

like you’ll explain to a patient or

something but like not really right

you’re a doctor

so you can say these words i am a doctor

i can say these words yes okay so

you’re a doctor did we not already talk

about this

therapists are doctors it’s a really

important part of medicine

yeah dr london why are you trying to be

so insulting to our guest

questioning her credentials yeah i’m

sorry you just i think what we have what

we have here

i mean is a very very creative way to

write a book with a colleague which has

unfortunately led to a

misunderstanding but you know i think

maybe

you’re looking at this the wrong way

you’re thinking oh i can’t believe that

she is a sex therapist sort of the other

meaning of sex

but what if now your book offers

both flavors of the word sex you know

what i mean

you read one chapter you get the

clinical you get the scientific

then you read the next chapter it’s all

smut baby

it’s just erotic it’s basically just

like going nuts is this the therapy you

need is those two things

yeah but if my understanding is correct

it alternates

chapters on a completely different

subject i just i think that’s

interesting

so you know we kind of established

earlier that

luna had the uh even number chapters you

had the odd number chapters so chapter

one

your choice of an opening so you go on a

long discourse

about how you don’t believe

in medicine when i say i don’t believe

in medicine

you know i just mean in the traditional

sense like how they use with the

dinosaurs

and you know the people in the caves

yeah

just in the traditional sense just old

traditional sort of ice age

medicine which we it’s incorrect i get

okay

because admittedly that is that was a

confusing chapter for me because for me

i my first thought whenever i think of

medicine in general

i don’t think of the ice age don’t you

no i think of modern medicine what do

you do when you break something

uh like a dish yeah london like

a bone okay well depends on the type of

let’s just say you know your old school

kids break they broke their arm you go

to the doctor

what do they do once again so it depends

on the type of fracture

you know if it’s open if you have to

reduce it you have if you have to go in

for surgery

they put it in a cast exactly

and what do you think they did in the

caves they wrap that stuff

up and put it in a cast okay

so you’re saying i mean you don’t

believe in that

correct so so let’s say in your

hypothetical let’s say it’s not an open

fracture

and you you the correct thing to do in

this hypothetical

by my standards would be to wrap it in a

cast what would be your approach

they need to put so okay there’s

different flavors

we’ve got purple and green

okay when you said we have different

flavors i thought you were gonna say

you know like different avenues of

thought but no you mean literal flavors

no no listen please okay i’m sorry and

flavor

purple blue and green and yellow

and these are all the flavors of these

like oily substances

they’re kind of like oil they’re not

quite oil but they’re kind of like oil

and you

actually put the different colors on

different ailments

and it cures you you don’t need a cast

you don’t need any of that

splints and stuff just need a couple of

oily substances

oily like oil i’ve been saying stuff

like this for a long time that

not not that i know any idea about these

oils this is all this sounds like a

medical miracle to me what you’re

talking about i’m very interested in

this

but just that what dr london is

constantly selling us

i mean even you talk about a cast is

that not just wrapping your arm in

toilet paper isn’t that the exact same

thing

it’s the exact same thing but that’s

that’s not

how things are healed i’m so glad you

understand

and i have always said that i do think

that things are healed through different

types of goose which is very similar to

oils you know that could be an

oily substance we could look at the

bylaws and it

might pass i’m sorry okay so

what you’re describing with the colors

and everything with the flavors

it sounds kind of like the the medieval

understanding of medicine

with the humors um

and so in so in the ice age are you

saying that you

you don’t believe in the ice age

medicine but you do believe

in medieval medicine i’m sorry what did

jokes have to do with this

humors jokes yeah dr london hey why

don’t you actually take your job

seriously for a second instead of

you know playing the class clown have

you ever thought about that

yeah so i’m sorry about that you know

what uh if you want to go on i just

whenever you describe matching colors to

ailments that’s sort of reminiscent

of i i feel like we’re getting getting

way

okay i wanted i want dr

janet i i want to know we’re talking

about this book

and you’re talking about the common

misconceptions

of believing anything doctors have to

say

you know that’s that’s the base premise

but that is not the class i want to know

i want to know in your book about sex

gender studies what does your book tell

us and what do you know

that doctors don’t that these stupid

stupid-ass doctors with their old-school

ways

are hiding from it yeah so to begin with

like gender not a thing

oh so you lean more towards the like

non-binary

like it’s fluid that’s still a label

so you think that they’re are you just

saying the word doesn’t exist

in the concept

and the word for that matter so you

don’t you don’t believe in the concept

of gender

yeah but you’re a gender therapist right

they need to know that it does not exist

it helps people it frees them like i

said earlier

they’re trapped i free them from gender

that doesn’t make sense she did say that

it makes that much sense

yeah okay so

let’s say someone is interested in your

book well why

why would someone be interested in your

book you say it’ll free them from these

constraints of their concept of self

within their gender identity

you’re saying a lot of stuff and you’re

just doing what all of the doctors do

they say a bunch of words and they make

it all colorful

and they don’t actually say anything

they’re trying to bog you down with

legalese right

and with this this kind of jargon

to confuse you it’s like they have a

whole other dictionary

hey speak english say what we’re all

thinking

this is america this is america sorry to

our listeners in other countries

um i this may also apply to

wait

damn right america okay

well so this has been good this has been

good i want to hear just

real quick the these different colorful

oils that you’ve been collecting where

where are you getting them from

so if you want purple oil you can find

anything that is purple

you dip it in this oily substance again

it’s the special oily substance you have

to buy it on

amazon and it’s fifty dollars per ounce

but you get 200 ounces of it

you dip anything purple in it leave it

overnight

pull the thing out in the morning the

oil is purple and it is ready

to fix broken bones okay

so any any of your oils that you use to

heal people is just

this one type of oil i’m sorry you

didn’t clarify what is the oil that you

order

it’s not it’s not actually oil it’s an

oily substance

and you order it on amazon you type in

oily substance

parentheses not oil

and then hit search okay so you don’t

know the name of it you just know what

you search

that’s the name oily substance not oil

in parentheses

okay and so that results it seems like

you’re not even paying attention dr

london here she is she’s telling you

everything about her field that she’s

clearly

worked a good chunk of her life doing

and all you can do

is is not even listen

yeah like i spent the entire last

seven days building this practice from

the ground up

and it’s like you won’t even take five

minutes to listen

that is so much of my life that could

just be wasted

on deaf ears okay so i didn’t realize

you

just started all this a week ago well

just the oily stuff

maybe it’s a good time to go ahead and

wrap things up a little bit

not until you tell me you’ll try them

just try the oils dr london

the blue one would do wonders for you uh

i really think you could use a yellow

don’t you think with the blue

you know i think that would go really

well if we could blend them

like before application make them green

vacation

so i’m not wounded yeah what does he

does he drink it or he’s

does he dump it on his head you know

he’s about to drink it and he really

shouldn’t

okay okay sorry but you have to take

your shoes and your socks off

and you have to dip both big toes

in fully submerged no other toes no

other part of your foot

just the big toe that sounds easier and

safer than what i thought

assuming this isn’t some type of like

you know acidic or extremely basic

product and honestly dr london it’s

really rude to call

our guest products basic

so not basic okay so anyway we’ll we’ll

try this

socks off shoes off okay

oh oh hold on hold on you need to clip

your toenails first

okay well i i do apologize i didn’t

expect to be in this kind of situation

we’ve been kind of

locked down and wearing shoes all the

time anyway um

so it sounds like this could actually

wait really anyway thank you to

our guests uh janet montgomery

i guess dr janet montgomery i’m sorry

what was your doctorate in

oh i think we’re done i think the show

is over

okay okay uh so this is uh

dr janet montgomery as well as um luna

who’s here earlier

and fortunately she had to go to her

medical

therapy session emergency therapy

session she had to go see you

mr petey at her emergency right

sex therapy session all right uh this is

our producer cameron

thank you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

this is america

damn right america strapped

strapped

[Music]

my name is dr londonsmith.com and this

has been

the jock doc podcast see you

strapped strapped

strap on damn right right murderer

came right in america

[Music]

an explosion followed by a puff of smoke

pops up in the distance

oh no you begin to run towards it slowly

at first

but faster and faster as your mind

continuously whips up worst case

scenarios

you leap over rocks and scramble through

loose pebbles in this desperate race

against time

entering the surrounding wooded area a

tree branch snags your jacket and you

allowed to be pulled off as you tear

ahead

you see light shining through the

thicket and you push through to the edge

of the clearing

oh no they really did it you were sure

that they had been bluffing but it

really happened they managed to combine

all of the fireworks into one giant one

by deftly taping them all together and

then they lit it without you

speaking of a dazzling display don’t

forget to leave a five star review

of the jock talk podcast in which you

share about how your friends decided to

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and while you’re at it go ahead and

share the jock doc podcast with a

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we are @jockdocpodcast thanks for

listening

Jock Doc Podcast

60. Mesothelioma/Dr. Natasha Mont Blanc

August 3, 2020 London Smith

hey kids you’re about to whoa

whoa i almost felt like the ground was

shaking

uh you’re about to listen to comedy whoa

comedy podcast that means that

none of this is medical whoa advice if

you need medical

advice for medical care oh

please contact your doctor welcome to

the jock doc

podcast featuring dj dylan in the house

name a better dj from a medically

improvised comedy podcast

i’ll wait

introducing your host dr

london smith hello and welcome to the

jock doc podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host dr londonsmith (.com)

i would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners

we’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as isolated diaphysial humeral

fracture

and oy gov’nuh so i will try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron

well well

if it isn’t doctor huge quotation marks

there

london hey doctor hey hey dr london

hello if you’re such a doctor then why

don’t you tell me what

this is

oh okay so that’s you mean your mask

no the thing holding the mask a fist

oh yeah okay yes yeah okay

are you threatening is that what that is

oh no i just

i’ve been i just couldn’t tell well i

like that you painted your nails like

that

yeah big x

yeah no i appreciate you

helping me out that’s been frustrating

me all morning oh

without the name of that body part yeah

it’s a fist i guess most of the time i’m

i well

i’m looking at it outward like this

because most of the time when i see my

fist i’m knocking on someone’s door

because of the

like campaigning and petitioning that i

do right

and so it’s mostly knock knock knock and

so then today when i was trying to put

on this

my mask and i had my hand like this i

saw a whole new side of something that i

thought i was familiar with

okay yes and that’s sort of why so the

red x’s that i put on my nails i’m sort

of um

i don’t know kind of denying their

existence i’m saying no

no no because i it’s hard for me to

understand what they are what the

purpose is right now

okay so that’s not like to help you you

know and this is the scientific method

is it not

yes we are we we we think we know

everything about something we

familiarize ourselves with new

information

and this expands our mind so today it

might be

the part of my you know door knocker

thingy

has a front part that’s new knowledge

that we can then incorporate into new

levels of science

yeah i and that’s what this podcast is

all about

so this is you know this is a bigger

step forward

for you in your progression

being able to discover another part of

your body because

you just normally hold a certain way uh

yeah for you this is a new discovery so

you know what congratulations cameron

you’re learning some anatomy

yeah this is massive yeah all right

well um also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA

HOUSE

well well well that’s

new knowledge that we can then

incorporate into new levels of science

put on the mask put on the mask put on

the mask

put on my mask

[Music]

put on my

[Music]

oh nice one dj dylan

dylan that was very spicy

and unfortunately if you are a listener

to this show

two weeks ago i was able to learn how to

play sound effects on the show

but i was only able to learn one sound

effect which is that’s a spicy meatball

that would be perfect for right now

where i just said spicy unfortunately

i have lost that ability in that

connector thingy well

okay because you kept you kept saying

that you were hacked and that’s how you

lost it

it must be hacked because now the only

thing that i’m able to play

is this montage of my father jim carrey

that i found on youtube

and so before it was jim carrey’s

screaming that’s a spicy meatball

from the mask now it’s a five-minute

montage that’s very emotional

and it’s not as funny or punchy

yeah when i was about 28 after and i

i don’t know if you’ll have to pay for

that so let’s go ahead and turn that off

my life but unfortunately that’s the

only sound effect i’m able to do on this

show and so that’s i mean that’s going

to be the theme song that’s going to

have to be the audience that’s going to

have to be everything from now on

is just this it sounds i mean it’s not

even clips from

the movie it’s it’s visual clips from

the movie but the audio sounds like it’s

just jim carrey talking about acting

yeah which we all know famously his his

uh famous method of acting is just being

a mean person

to people as well that wasn’t really my

my take so much like ferris venturi he

acted like a bird

from what i understand anyway later

cameron tells me that we can expect a

special guest a another doctor cameron

you’ve kind of been on a roll

bring in that’s right dr london yeah all

these medical professionals

i i’ve been on a roll

i watch the effect of light see it just

doesn’t have the it just doesn’t have

the same punchy effect

not quite because i i think

i was gonna say that you should just

adapt but maybe just don’t play a clip

because it if you don’t have control

over what you’re playing

let’s try it in a few new spots

throughout the show and then we’ll

we’ll see how it turns out well uh

before we move on oh it’s jim carrey’s

commencement address of the 2014 mum

graduation

oh your mom graduated that’s nice

uh before we move on i would like to

address a bit of listener feedback

this note comes from a baseball that i

noticed flying through the air towards

the sun was behind it so i couldn’t tell

exactly where

the ball was until it you know hit me in

the

in the face um but this note was

attached to that ball

the note reads quote i can’t read this

it’s not cursive

end quote uh so first of all i would

like to thank you so much for reaching

out to the jock doc podcast

yes to answer your question

maybe i should may i should just go

ahead and clarify for all listeners that

this podcast

uh it’s created in an audio format

so you know perhaps you know this this

listener was referring to the

transcriptions

of the episodes and in that case

i suppose that i must apologize because

you are correct in saying that

those are not written in cursive well

you know what dr london this

this patient story reminds me of uh when

i was

just but a boy couldn’t have been more

than i don’t know two foot

three foot or so

and i would go down to the store we had

you know two competing stores we had

you know mr bilkinson on one side and we

had mr wilkinson working at the other

shop and i would go back and forth as

they would lower their prices for the

sweet candy that i would get inside

one would be 30 cents and then the next

day the next one would say 29 cents and

i would go back and forth and you know

what

mr wilkinson had said to me

oh sorry no no i do

do you remember at all i don’t know you

know what he said to me

what mr wilkinson said to you yeah

because you just went back and forth

across the street

uh-huh did you say like

pick a store or

this is the part i don’t remember oh i

was hoping i’ve told you this story

before and you could

remember what he had told me because i

remember it made a huge impression on my

life

the parts that you do remember yeah but

you think he just said like hey just

pick a story you’ve got to stop coming

back and forth

it seems like yeah that level of

indecision

could be trouble for you and maybe if

you just make a decision

and that can simplify things and this

yeah sorry this story this uh this

listener note

about you know writing in cursive

that’s what reminded you of going from

store to store

growing up while you’re eight years old

just but a boy

two or three feet tall it could have

been more than that

all right well um well anyway to this

listener it is my understanding that

most people actually have an

easier time uh reading when

something is not written in cursive but

you know maybe i’m wrong maybe it is

easier for some people

thank you for listening now for today’s

medical topic

mesothelioma mesothelioma

is a type of malignancy that involves

the mesothelial cells that normally line

the body cavities

including the lung pleura the peritoneum

the pericardium and the testes asbestos

is the principal carcinogen implicated

in the pathogenesis of

malignant pleural mesothelioma

so um despite the banning or reduction

of asbestos

since the 1960s the incidence of

mesothelioma continues to increase

because patients actually they develop

mesothelioma

20 to 40 years after asbestos exposure

so that’s one reason why a patient’s

occupational history is important

so they’ll come in so this could be

well this could be an effective way to

follow through on my

uh sort of ultimate plan have i told you

about this

this is does this have something to do

with the

the wilkinson and well i

it i how do i explain this in a way

that’s not going to get me

arrested i need a way

for someone to pass on

but in a way that’s not

murder per se

and if you’re saying exposing them to

asbestos can kind of do

that this could be very interesting and

this is for you by the way this isn’t

for me

okay well just to and no no i’m not

trying to kill you

but you’re trying to kill someone for me

on your behalf

yes sir okay well i can go ahead and say

now i don’t want you to

kill anyone on my behalf oh you are

going to think differently

when you hear what i’ve got cooked up dr

london okay oh boy

and there’s another follow-up here so

mesothelioma

the patients develop it uh 20 to 40

years after exposure to asbestos so it’s

really

like that’s a really long-term plan but

uh anyway so patients

will uh let’s see they’ll have dyspnea

or difficulty breathing they’ll have

non-pluritic

chest wall pain um those are the most

common presenting symptoms and whenever

we say

non-pleuritic that means that it’s pain

that’s there

even if left two no

not plural pluridic that’s a that’s

referring to the lungs and breathing so

here’s what we’re gonna do okay so

you’re just gonna skip over my plane

entirely here’s what we’re going to do

are you familiar with the santa claus

the 1990

uh tim allen um

you know other guy yeah

the two guy played neil he’s not he’s in

something else

yeah neil capric matt bomer so

the the basic premise of that movie is

that santa claus

passes on no one murders santa it just

happens in an accident

tim allen puts on his suit

and he becomes what does he become he

becomes

santa claus sort of signs a contract

santa of course

has been this being that’s been around

for thousands of thousands of years

people have

taken his spot who does that remind you

of a person who’s been in the news a lot

lately dr

fauci dr fauci obviously is not a

singular

person he is sort of a concept he is an

eternal being that

people have occupied that space for

generations and over different periods

of civilization

wow and so i don’t want to murder anyone

i don’t want to get hurt

but if he were to pass on and you were

to put on his outfit

dr london we could be taking this

podcast in your career to a whole new

level

so so he that’s one

concept i’m gonna have to kind of just

nail down here because i don’t really

want any

conspiracies to go around so dr fauci is

is a single person who has been alive

for a limited number of years

like i bet if you looked him up you

could actually find the exact amount of

years old

that he is so sad people have tried

have you actually tried do it do it

right now on your computer and tell me

what pops up

yeah for listeners you know because i

really don’t want to i wanted to spell

myths here so dr fauci

age yeah your computer freezes up

doesn’t it

the internet is pretty bad here but

that’s that’s the internet it’s not

yeah your computer freezes up when you

try to look up his real age

it’s not gonna tell you dr london

what did you do to my computer and dr

fauci obviously goes by different things

in different cultures maybe this is

where you’re getting sort of tripped up

in america he is dr fauci but you know

to the irish they might have sort of a

i don’t know like a celtic kind of dr

fouchy with like a shamrock or something

yeah so so anyway so patience

um my mom used to collect these little

glass figurines of

all the different types of dr faucies

throughout the world uh patients will

um so they’ll have that that difficulty

breathing the chest wall pain with

malignant mesothelioma

uh at least one of those two will occur

in 60 to 90

of patients they’ll have um you know

easy fatigue ability

fever sweats weight loss those are all

common symptoms with that as with a lot

of cancers

um patients may be asymptomatic as well

just with evidence of plural effusion

noted incidentally on physical exam

or by chest radiograph uh in patients

with malignant mesothelioma

they might discover that plural effusion

just by percussion and auscultation so

listening and then tapping on the lungs

i just picture you

staring into the mirror so frustrated

because you just want to be yourself you

didn’t want to take on this

responsibility

so you dye your hair back to its normal

color black and you’re like finally

but then you you know you you wash off

your face a little bit when you take

your hands down you look in the mirror

and it’s gray again

instantly so okay

so you you know that i would be

frustrated to take on that role of

course it is because that level of

responsibility can be frustrating

but eventually you learned that this is

what you were meant to do

i think the guy until someone of course

you know kills you and then

wears your outfit and becomes you yeah

eventually

i i just feel like this isn’t really

that’s not what i want because i have my

own

separate path that i’m on does that make

sense you’re saying you have a level of

agency that is not controlled by

dr fauci’s outfit that i do not wish to

be controlled by dr fauci’s outfit and

also i think this may not

i don’t want you to kill dr fauci if

that’s what you’re

no one is killing anyone some people are

exposing other people to asbestos

how can i make that more clear okay so

malignant mesothelioma is a difficult

diagnosis to establish

so the pathologist should actually be

warned if the index of suspicion is high

like say if they have those symptoms and

uh you know they come in and everything

and they have the occupational exposure

thoracoscopically guided biopsy should

be performed if mesothelioma is

suggested

and these results are diagnostic in 98

of cases

treatment options for the management of

malignant mesothelioma include surgery

chemotherapy radiation and you know

a multi-modality treatment surgery in

patients with disease confined to the

pleural space

is reasonable but for all these options

specific treatment modality will depend

sort of the individual patient’s

presentation and actually

so i wouldn’t want someone to have to go

through this disease

anyway regardless of because this is a

very

this could be a slow painful thing

difficulty breathing

so okay so so you’re saying let’s make

swift a little more decisive a little

more immediate

i’m just saying rule this out as

something to do to someone in general

what if

while he’s standing next to the subway

tracks

okay and you were to accidentally drop

your mask and then cough in his

direction you don’t think he’s gonna go

all right and he would rush onto the

tracks put on his outfit

and then suddenly i can tell you from

experience the effect

do you think he’ll drop his outside is

the most valuable currency there

is because you can it just does not work

yeah it’s this is really frustrating

don’t mean it don’t meet us say it

instead

like that’s the spice you mean is that

there we go that yeah that’d be good

okay

so just i’ll try to so that you have

that

because it sounds like you need that

yeah okay maybe once every

we’ll say 25 seconds i don’t know if

i’ll say that but

but sure i’ll i’ll try to do that some

for your sake

especially if you agree to not

just make someone pass away for my

sake all right well we’ll see what

happens and we’ll see who becomes the

new

fouchy where you’re going to find your

sense of complaining uh that’s the spice

you meet the ball

all right then we can move on from there

cameron you said that we have a a doctor

as a guest today is that right

that’s right dr london we have with us

today a very very

special guest and i established

last week that special does not mean

that they can dunk

okay you were really fixated on the

guest not being shaquille o’neal and i i

am just going to reiterate it’s not

shaquille o’neal

and not stop asking if it’s shaquille

o’neal well the other one was also

you know are they handicapped in some

manner but anyway yeah we can um

let’s get uh our guests might be able to

dunk i just want to say i feel like

we’re assuming too much by assuming that

she cannot dunk and i feel like

this is something that could be

discussed okay that’s all i’m saying so

i guess that’s the first question

before we introduce you uh can you

dunk and

uh i guess any if you have any

uh i guess that’s uncomfortable to ask

about the handicaps or whatever but yeah

can you dunk

oh dr london thank you so much for

asking i actually

am able to dunk and i have been able to

dunk

since i was a little girl and i was

about two or three feet high

um shaquille o’neal actually a very

close friend of the family and he would

put me up on his shoulders

and we would be about 12 feet tall both

of us stacked together and we would dunk

all day and all night

wow shaquille o’neal famously 10 feet

tall

yes and okay so i guess in a sense that

would be your handicap then is that you

do have to be picked up by shaquille

o’neal in order to

dunk and well not anymore

okay okay so that’s that was just an

orange now it can be for you

when you say not anymore does that mean

not anymore because you can dunk on your

own or not anymore because all sorts of

people can pick you up to help you dunk

both i find that once one can dunk on

one

one’s own they can also dunk with the

help of anyone else

[Music]

i guess that is true wouldn’t you agree

that’s very valid yes

i i i completely get that like if i

if i’ve learned how to bake a cake

and then i asked someone to help me also

just to make things a little easier

i’m you know i’m still baking a cake let

me ask you this

have you ever gone to put the cake right

in the oven and someone just smacks it

right out of your head

he has multitudes within him

so he said i’ve got too much of a sweet

tooth and i really can’t right now

because he was on atkins at the point

this is 2000 and you know 2002 2003

we were all on atkins 2002 2003. and he

was like oh no way

i can’t be eating that and so we slapped

the the cake out of my hands

he’s a heartbreaker a

dream taker a cake on baker

and a mess maker there was cake all over

my floor

now dr london you’re trying to ask

something

oh i was just going to introduce the

guest and since this is kind of a

medical podcast i just wanted to briefly

ask if our guests could uh like that was

a playful opener not necessarily

not i mean not necessarily where i want

the interview to be focused

if that makes sense okay i guess this is

your show do what you want with it

if you want it to be boring and dry and

blah blah blah and no one knows

anything about if whether or not the

guest can dunk then

that’s your show i guess all right well

welcome uh my name is dr londonsmith.com

and this is our producer cameron

what was your name i’m so tired

it’s just the god just the way

that question was asked just put me in a

funk i guess sorry sorry yeah could you

could you tell us your name a little bit

oh absolutely i will tell you my name

just a little bit i

am dr natasha mont blanc um

and i’m here today to discuss my

research in intestinal seismology

wow okay intestimal seismology

yeah intestinal seismology it’s an

emerging

field um i am a

semi recent graduate of the pritzker

school of medicine in chicago

and um my final yes

during my final year of medical school i

was recruited by a new pharmaceutical

company called

vectus and is that you were choking up a

little bit when you brought them up is

that

yeah it is

sentimental just because i have um

struggled like so many people have it’s

it’s nothing

unique to me we have all struggled for

various reasons

okay well you don’t have to minimize it

but that’s all right so you are allowed

to say

um you know stuff you don’t have to be

like well someone’s already

someone’s already done that so for

example if i if

i was telling a story about like someone

parking in their garage but i was like

you know what someone already else has a

story about

parking in the garage so i can’t even

say it on this show

we do allow um people to share struggles

and experiences even if other people

have had

struggles and experiences that is unique

to this show and that’s why people

listen

well i was so hesitant to tell my story

about shaq because you know

other people have dunked with shaq yeah

charles barkley probably has a story

about dunking with shaq and then it’s

what can i

offer that that charles barkley doesn’t

already offer to the world

and we we try to try to push that away

because we’re a pretty positive show

yeah and our our three listeners value

that yes

are we included in those three i

there’s no way to really know

um unfortunately i have not been able to

figure out the ip addresses

of where they are you know which

computer they’re attached to

it’s been mostly satellites to track

them yeah

mm-hmm uh oh yeah i i don’t know the ip

address information i do have heat maps

of where they are at all times

yeah of course and the cameras that are

on their

their homes and in their homes and their

cars

uh but no doctor

we don’t have all the rest doctor wait

do i say dr

mont blanc or do i say dr blanc no

mont blanc please um and that may sound

familiar to you yes i

am the black sheep of the mont blanc pen

family

but we aren’t here to talk about that or

about how wilhelm is daddy’s favorite

you know none of that so wait wait wait

you’re from

some sort of a could you could you maybe

tell our listeners a little bit about

this

this family of yours

i would like to but i feel like

someone’s already said it before and

it’s not really my story to tell

that is that’s an interesting point i do

want to bring up i

don’t remember if this has been brought

up on the show previously no we were

talking we

are allowed before we recorded but not

on the show but we are allowed to talk

about

things even though other people might

have a story about it

okay fine i’ll tell you

a little bit about my home life what it

was like growing up for me

knowing that mommy and daddy took

wilhelm to see

i’m sorry i’m crying a little bit to see

a production of stump a production of

stomp with all mesothelioma patients

just doing that the percussive things on

their chest or

you know when wilhelm would hear stories

every night during the winter and he

would put his

little tiny shoes out for dr fauci to

fill with candies and toys and i wasn’t

allowed to

yeah oh wow your parents favored wilhelm

a little more than you huh

so much and now he’s you know the ceo

of mont blanc pens and i’m just a

dumb doctor you know paving the way in

intestinal seismology but daddy doesn’t

want to hear it

okay so okay you said you were about to

start giving an introduction i feel like

that was a

great introduction to it so we anyway so

intestinal seismology so if i understand

correctly

you’re saying the like seismology that’s

the study of

you know like earthquakes that’s

vibrations in the earth but applied to

the intestinal tract is that right

absolutely

something that you need to know about

seismology as it applies to our bodies

and also our planet

is that there are three different types

of plate boundaries there is the

divergent boundary which is where two

plates

move away from each other there is a

convergent boundary where one plate goes

under the other and then there is a

transform boundary where the plates

slide laterally

against each other without incident my

research has

applied that to the parts of the

digestive system specifically the small

intestine

and i have seen a lot of cases in i’d

say like 65 year old

uh men who are presenting with a swollen

abdomen

and um i want to say acid reflux

and then i look at them under a

microscope and i see that it’s really

bad in there you start to see plates

shifting

we’re talking about earth earthquakes

uh in layman’s term yes it i would say

is earthquakes in tummies

we could we could i mean we can make it

a little more medical and say you know

earthquakes and

the you know in your in your in your

food area

that’s a little more doctory so so when

we talk about

plate shifting that sounds a lot more

like geology than it does

you know gastroenterology

dr london why are you are you are you

questioning

the medical science of our guest you

know producer cameron i so appreciate

you sticking up

yeah so i feel like uh i’m just trying

to connect the dots for our listeners

because

we’re applying some uh some terms from

geology

to you know gastroenterology and

possibly even uh you know physiology and

anatomy

and i’m not sure that those paths

you know necessarily cross with those

specifics like the plate

you know you’re talking about the

divergent plates and everything they’re

growth plates i don’t know if you

if you’re referring to something like

that but those are you know in the bones

no what i’m speaking of what i’m

researching is when the

duodenum and the ilium uh

slide past each other on occasion

and okay um oftentimes we

see unfortunately a convergent boundary

right there

where the ilium begins to

dive underneath um

something else in there okay yeah and

the way

dr mont blanc the way you’re just sort

of schooling dr london right now he

clearly

is so thrown off and so confused by all

this terminology because it’s not

exactly what he learned from his fancy

medical school

so now he’s going to come in here and be

like oh that’s not real medicine

i mean this is what i have to deal with

every single day

dr london could you please remind me

what your specialty is

uh i’m general i hm kind of

any and allah

how did i know that you were going to

say so i’m sorry so what you’re

describing is

you know a telescoping of you know part

of the intestinal tract

into itself like so that is something

that i’m aware of it’s just

not referred to as tectonic plates or

whatever

it’s uh intestinal seismology yes i am

the cutting edge of this research for

vectus the new pharmaceutical company

um that i work for okay so what

what brings you on the show then what

brings you on the jock talk podcast

well i i just came to share my research

and

um you know really uh spread the word

like like two divergent plates

um about what i’m doing and uh how i can

help

maybe some of your listeners if they

wanted to uh join my trial

and um yeah i’m just uh

you know here to you know keep my grant

so now i’m interested in this trial

what what is the trial consist of and

what do i get out of it if i were to

decide to uh

be one of these trialees absolutely um

so what we are doing right now we’re

doing a double blind study

well let me step back we’re recruiting

for a double blind study

we will be taking um men of a certain

age

who my i got to stop here there my

eyesight’s 20 20.

unfortunately i don’t think i’m gonna

qualify this

oh oh double blind

it is not anything to do with eyesight

cameron i’m so sorry to tell you this

um it’s actually where there’s two

groups of

uh people in the trial and and no one

knows

neither the people who are in the trial

nor the people who are administering the

trial

no one knows which group is actually

getting the medication and which

or the treatment and which is getting

the placebo

okay but so my the fact that i can see

2020 after i put my contacts in the fact

that i can see

that’s that’s totally okay that’s

totally okay however i do think that you

are a bit too

young to be involved in the study um

intestinal seismology issues

mainly present in men who are about

62. see i’m not

62 but i have been told by many doctors

that

most of the inside of my body is

ranges around 75. okay then maybe you

are

a good candidate for this um so do you

have any

symptoms that could be related to

intestinal seismology

uh not i don’t i don’t know the

specifics i do

the idea of a earthquake happening

constantly uh inside my body sounds

familiar

that sounds like something that happens

to me quite consistently

and then in terms of of proving that my

my internal digestive system is probably

aged

around 75 years old is that i swear the

other day i heard it

talking about the prices right

yes i’ve actually found that to be a

contraindication of this type of issue

yep okay one little i just want to jump

in here

so what you described you know as sort

of a telescoping what you call the the

plates moving together

so that is known as you know

intussusception

and you you keep describing it as being

something for older

men which it’s more of a thing that

happens to babies

and it’s pretty rare thing to happen

so i’m just wondering where i guess is

there a particular demographic where

you’ve started to see this

specifically like as a caused by

i don’t know some other drug or

something because it’s

i i don’t mean to be critical but i’m

just you know i want to keep our

listeners informed

and i i know you’re trying to keep this

grant so i don’t want to

jeopardize anything for you but i just

you know

i want to keep things on the right level

here no i

appreciate your attention to

detail in your inquisitive nature i

really do

um like i said we’re seeing this mostly

in older men

and um it is kind of a new field of

study so i’m not surprised you haven’t

heard of it also you’re a gp so what do

you even know

that is valid dr london i’ve been saying

this for

i mean the entire run of this podcast is

that here we’ve got this guy dr london

born of privilege fed with a silver

spoon

and i don’t even think he ever went to

medical school can’t prove it there’s no

pictures from it

and i can’t find any friends that he had

during that time

impossible to find dr london

wait sorry right you’ve tried to find my

friend well just last week

right we had uh a former

uh my attending i sure as hell don’t

remember that

his name was dr dag like you just

just met someone from that time period

of my life it was it was sorry it was

after medical school it was during

residency all that to say

you’re you’re a gp you don’t know jack

shit

well i’m not trying to imply that he

doesn’t know anything it’s just that

it’s okay is kind of my specialty

and intestinal seismology is pretty much

a field that i’ve entirely made up on my

own so

i don’t expect a lot of other people to

understand it or even recognize it

yeah okay so you are struggling with the

recognition of it which

and this this is sort of a behavior that

i recognize in dr london

is that i mean there are there are

things that i’m extremely knowledgeable

about because i

sort of invented the field and when i

try to bring it to dr london he’s like

no you can’t do that you can’t play that

game that way

you can’t involve guns in a game and

it’s it’s like it’s my game i invented

the rules

and yet his arrogance is just so

i don’t know so strong and so prideful

that he comes in and he says no you

can’t play the game like that

well it’s my game i invented it this is

just

it’s it’s the entitlement of

dr london well your game was to use

you know actual firearm just on the

on the video game that you were playing

and so yeah just a classic duck hunt

what would make duck hunt a little more

interesting

fire like actual fire power instead of

the weak little like lame little

pew pew like peashooter toy that comes

with it

well but then you had to buy a new what

if i was get what if i brought my own

handgun to the game

yeah it’s just then you lost you said no

don’t do that that’s my tv

yeah yeah sorry that was

all i’m saying is like maybe you should

try to listen a little more instead of

trying to tell people

that their field doesn’t exist or that

it doesn’t make sense

or that it’s combining terms from other

fields

and maybe dr london you should just take

a second and think to yourself

and just remember the fact the effect

that you have on others is the most

valuable currency

there is yeah besides i mean besides

like cash

of course yeah and fancy pens

yeah but you know it just like besides

that like i mean definitely

definitely so anyway i guess we can

we can discuss because maybe cameron

like i’m not sure that i can endorse

or or even recognize what you’re doing

on a

medical you know level but maybe cameron

is interested in

you know applying for your trial your

clinical trial

is it painful i’m definitely signing up

for the trust yeah what do i get out of

this trial

well you will get a two-week hospital

stay for observation

and administration of medication and or

placebo treatments

and during this time you will be

evaluated by myself or

other doctors like myself who are also

practitioners of

intestinal seismology and definitely not

general practitioners

um and we will just be evaluating you

constantly and uh taking your

temperature poking in the tummy and

stuff like that

and okay i mean don’t mind having my

temperature taken

don’t mind being poked in the tummy

constantly but i mean is there any i

mean is there any danger

involved in this should i be worried

that something would happen to me well

what what kind of medication

is that the one that isn’t a placebo

what kind of medication are you giving

because

i don’t mind that dr london whatever

medication is fine

it’s just put in a needle put in my arm

i don’t you know whatever about that

that is your motto i’m very open-minded

when it comes to medications

well i certainly appreciate your

enthusiasm and willingness to

put your body on the line for science as

it would as it were

and this is what i want to know a little

more about you talk about putting my

body on the line so what what what are

the potential risks of this

well there’s inherent risk in any type

of medical trial i mean there’s

there’s risk in just going about your

everyday life i want to

argue that a little bit i do want to say

there has to have been at least one

medical trial

that you weren’t risking your life to to

is that not true i i’m ignorant of this

field i just did not realize it was this

dangerous

you could always have a reaction to

something well i’m not saying it’s

highly dangerous you could always have a

reaction to something

it’s just i uh you know i need to

protect myself i need to protect

my employer vectus and uh we need to

partner together for a cure and um if

you’re interested i can absolutely send

over the paperwork

and we will uh save a bed for you in the

hospital

okay now the way she has avoided

letting me know what the potential risks

are kind of tells me that there’s

probably no risk right dr london

well also just the fact that so you

don’t

you probably do not have intussusception

you don’t have this telescoping of

one part of the intestine to another and

so i don’t see how

you would even qualify to be a part of

this clinical trial

oh it’s actually i misspoke earlier it’s

actually a triple blind

test um you know the two that i

previously

described and also uh me i am also going

to be blind

and i will also be signing up a bunch of

different people who may or may not

qualify for the test that is the third

type of blindness

oh perfect so so the recruitment of

patients for the trial that part

is blind rather than say

you know looking for the particular

illness

which your drug is supposed to be

targeting or demographics

uh that you know and without any of the

you know the usual like uh a well age i

guess age is the only part that isn’t

blind

right that is pretty much all we’re

asking for in the application except

for cameron you make an exception for

him i i’m not sure if i am because he

sounds young but his intestines are old

so maybe i am and maybe i’m not

and this is the scientific method is it

not yes

i i don’t see it as this

is the scientific method exactly

exposing yourself to more information dr

london

you see you just don’t get it because

you’re not a curious person

and he’s only a gp and he’s only a gp

and he might not even gone to medical

school because again i can’t find a

single friend that he went to school

with

it’s impossible to find and once again

last

week we had a guest i don’t remember

last week okay well

okay so you have this trial and you have

this grant how many

you know how many people do you expect

to have in this trial it sounds like

it’ll be a small trial

oh quite to the contrary we are trying

to get as many people as possible i

actually get

a little bonus on my grant for every

person i sign up

so huh so you get paid depending on the

amount of people that you can get to

blindly to be recruited for a study

i guess that’s the fourth blind isn’t it

yeah i i don’t i don’t think i like the

yeah the expansion of blind

i feel like that’s the scientific method

dr london is just the expansion of blind

tests i just thought of the fifth blind

categories i just thought of the fifth

blind

it is one of the risks of this trial you

may be blinded

oh that would do it so i’m sorry you

just thought of it

it said that wasn’t is that in action i

mean

i mean i just um um

it yes it is a potential side effect

of any medication that has ever been

invented in every single medical trial

that’s ever been invented blindness is

always on the table

and that’s why there’s so much paperwork

involved in medicine and i’m sure you’d

know that if you weren’t just a gp

but um basically um i am getting paid

per person to sign up and

they might be blind but thankfully i get

paid on the intake which is great

and um you know wilhelm is daddy’s

favorite so

you know he’s the big pen man now and

i’m just a stupid doctor trying to do a

quinn tuple blind study the first ever

you know i’m so stupid it’s like i

didn’t even go to medical school because

no one can find pictures of me there

which is dumb because no one’s ever

looked and nor should they

i i want to ask a little bit about you

keep bringing up your

your brother that you seem to be a

little

oh you think he’s my brother oh uh

well who who is wilhelm oh

he’s my daddy’s pug

makes it worse doesn’t it makes it worse

he was a gift from shaq well i would

have to meet the pug

really to make that assessment slam

dunked that dog into a cardboard box and

gave it to daddy for christmas

said yep to daddy from fauci

how was i supposed to i know you’re

telling the truth i know you’re telling

the truth because that is exactly how he

wraps his gifts

is that he dunks it in the box

beforehand that’s not something that any

any layman would know oh he’s lame

so wait so your your your dad’s pug has

taken over

the pin company isn’t that awful

isn’t that horrible he wouldn’t he

couldn’t see me as a ceo

i’m a human woman this dog is a pug he’s

already 14 he’s not got much left

and here i am yeah not the ceo

the black sheep of the family and

wilhelm is daddy’s favorite and he’s a

black pug

like what am i supposed to do with that

how is that supposed to make me feel of

course i’m going to

cry when i tell you about my backstory

of course i’m going to take a job at

vectus a pharmaceutical company that

perhaps i funded with my share of the

mob long fortune but i guess we’ll never

know

of course i’m going to start a quintuple

blind study who knows

i just thought of a new blind your blind

spot while you’re driving

six double blind study yep that’s a

that’s got to be a record

you’ve done it okay

this is what you were trying to do this

is what you were going for the whole

time

was this the study i get six different

blinds

i get a blindness bonus on top of my

patient recruitment bonus

oh wow this sounds suck it wilhelm

suck it dr london do you do you have any

what are you trying to say dr london i’m

just i feel like

maybe this is a good time to just wrap

it up

i feel like we’ve really covered a lot

here

and i don’t i don’t know that i can

really endorse this

[Music]

before we before we end up wrapping up

here a little bit i

do we’ve got to do a new segment on the

show this is something that

this isn’t the chores is it

unfortunately

this is i i’ve been telling you for so

long we need to take care of these

chores we’ve had this

for our listeners we’ve had this

gigantic chore list

that has just piled up more and more and

more over the last you know whatever 60

episodes that we’ve done this show

and i’m getting sick of it and so we

need to

like we’ve we’ve got us we need to spin

this wheel and we need to do whatever

chore is on the wheel and just get it

done with

it’s and it’s 70 episodes now but so i

that’s even more uh that’s even more

chores yeah okay i don’t know

but yeah no we we have to may i ask two

questions

yes first of all do you two live

together

we i involuntarily involuntarily is also

how i would put it

i i have a separate residence but

cameron he often finds me

yeah well you are in different like

crawl spaces within the within my home

yes i thought you were saying i seek you

out because i do

not seek you out

uh no no no it’s entirely on me but

that’s because

you know i’m running different things

i’m running lots of wires i’m running a

lot of connections there’s a lot of

electricity going through the walls

um just there’s a lot of stuff going on

and so there’s a lot of maintenance at

any given time so you could say that i

live

you know above below behind

yes his house yeah great and my second

question you said that

this is episode 70 and there are more

chores can i

make the assumption here that every

single episode you add a new chore to

the chore wheel so that now you have 70

chores

i would say that is probably pretty

accurate i would say there’s probably

around 70 chores and unfortunately

every time we do a new chore there’s

just going to be a new thing added to

the tour list so it’s sort of an

infinite list

so you make a new chore wheel every

every episode it must be impossible

depending on the size of it to get 70

equal pieces onto a chore wheel

it gets harder every time because we

have to reprint and read

you know categorize yeah it’s i mean

it’s heavy as hell get the proportion

it smells awful too but let’s let’s go

ahead and spin it then because i don’t

want to

like keep thinking about it because

that’s even worse

okay yeah i mean the smell is going to

so bad so just be prepare for the smell

uh this is cameron’s chore wheel

dj dylan can you go ahead and spin the

wheel yes

all right it’s landed on therapeutic

journal entries oh no gosh

yeah we’ve put these off yeah well

because it’s one of those we’ve been

putting these off for a really long time

i’m not gonna lie

and uh and okay

so cameron and i have both been seeing

well and our guest here as part of the

contract of signing up to be on the

podcast

we’ve all made uh these journals we make

journal entries every day

and we just um you know in preparation

for the show

and we’ve been keeping up with this

every single day for 70 episodes so

i guess it’s good to have it now so we

have these these journals as our

listeners know

we are part of the casey anthony podcast

network which is a great

network but it unfortunately it comes

with some

and i can’t say really that i like that

yeah our

our health insurance is always a little

wonky and the only way we can keep our

health insurance down to be uh

on a consistent level is to be meeting

with a therapist on a weekly basis and

writing these journal entries and uh and

and and keeping up with us so this thing

we sort of

have to do whether we like to or not i

hate doing these journals but

so we’ll all anyway we’ve all previously

already

torn off um you know an entry from the

journal

and put it into a hat and at random uh

it’s it’s been mailed out

it’s all random i don’t know which of

these journal entries

is mine which one is you know uh

dr mont blanc or cameron’s i i don’t

know

which one i have but uh

anyway i guess we should just read them

off this is supposed to be therapeutic

like we share

it’s like a group therapy kind of thing

all right um should i cam cameron do you

want to go first

yeah yeah that that that’s fine let me

just uh

let me just stick my hand in the in the

hat it’s a huge hat by the way i don’t

understand why the hat needed to be this

big for three pieces of

paper essentially they’re just one page

journal entries

we didn’t mail the three pieces to each

person it’s like a very specific system

we have

yeah i i really hate it it seems

convoluted and the hack

solely mailed in in my hat i have

my journal entry and i have cameron’s

journal entering

actually also dr london so

i could pick one that’s already been

read or my own

potentially it’s it’s a flawed system

for sure

once again this wheel it’s all been

building up but

i i let’s cameron if you wouldn’t mind

just taking yours out

or sorry whoever’s you have yeah yeah

let me just

uh uncrumple this piece of paper

journal june

3rd 1993

or at least that’s what it feels like

whenever i put on

the my favorite spin doctor song

and i think back to growing up

and thinking again about

the thing in this world that i despise

the most

the way he walks the way he

talks and the way he curls up in that

little

extremely expensive dog bed that i hate

so much what am i supposed to do

flash forward yes this journal entry has

a flash forward in it

to present day june 3rd

2020 despite everything i do

he’s still there sitting on that

dog bed and i’m gonna blow it up

i’m gonna blow it up i can’t help it i’m

gonna

blow it up with explosives

the end okay wow thank you that was very

love dr natasha

dr natasha that was that was yours i

feel so stripped bear

it’s i you know this is part of the as

we learned in

our group therapy sessions that we did

right before the podcast

you know i it hurts a little bit to be

that raw and vulnerable in front of an

audience of three people that

could potentially be us

but you need that raw vulnerability to

learn how to heal

it’s why if you have a wound you don’t

just let it sit and

and so it can figure itself out you take

some salt and you

pour it all over the wound just to get

that sting and then you let it heal

i well okay so medically i would say

never never mind this is therapy this

isn’t this is

this is a you know psychology never mind

i’ll try to stay out of

this is our therapist directions so you

express yourself however you need to

um okay so uh

dr mont blanc would you like to go next

i guess it’s down to either reading the

same journal entry from yourself

yeah unfortunately i guess there’s no

way to eliminate the pieces of paper

in our system but i mean let’s add that

to the chore wheel

figure out the paper situation with the

journal entries that’s a new entry on

the chore wheel

yeah well especially because we have to

make photocopies of each of the journal

entries so that they’re

this yeah three going out and then also

mailing the hats it seems like kind of

too much like we could just email them

it’s very expensive too

but anyway uh so this could be from

either of us or

go ahead and say i didn’t do all the

organizing it could be another entry of

yours i’m not sure

wow okay all right i’m just going to

choose one at random and open it up okay

great here we go october 1st

2019 well

i’ve really done it now today

i went into a restaurant for the first

time on my own and i sat at the bar

and i ordered a beer and i drank it all

by myself

there was a mirror across from the bar

you know behind the bar and they put the

bottom shelves lickers right up against

it and i looked at myself and i saw

me for the first time in a long time

and i looked at myself and i saw myself

and i looked more

and i saw that i was wearing

a white lab coat with my name

embroidered over the left

breast and it said dr londonsmith.com

and i cried into my beer so hard and i

wouldn’t stop

crying people people walked behind me

and some tapped me on the shoulder

saying hey fella

you okay and i just kept trying

and then i finished my beer and i tipped

fifty percent five zero percent i’m very

generous

and then i went home and wrote in this

journal entry goodbye wow

you were so ashamed that you’re just a

gp are you talking about you looked at

the well we don’t know who who wrote

the mirror that could have been anyone

so cameron i don’t know if you

went to a bar in october

uh and wore my lab coat

but that’s you you’ve done that before

you’ve worn my lab coat around town

before hey i don’t mean to shoot ideas

down i don’t remember what i wrote on

that day

uh anyway i i’m just saying i don’t cry

like that

okay i wouldn’t cry over just being a gp

and it sounds like you would

yeah so sad dr london thank you for

being

vulnerable in your letter with us well

i and i guess i shouldn’t to deny

anything or whatever because this is

59: Large Cell Carcinoma/Dr. Daaaank

July 27, 2020 London Smith

uh hey kids you are about to listen to

a comedy podcast that means that

none of this is medical advice if you

need medic

medical advice or medical care

please contact your doctor welcome to

the jock doc

podcast featuring dr london

smith your number one most trusted

source for health and medical

information introducing your host

Dr. London Smith

[Applause]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

dr londonsmith.com i would like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as pulmonary capillary wedge

pressure and

tutti frutti so i will try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron hello mr london

hey how are you

i i guess i’m all right how are you

doing another week another you

another week uh anything exciting

happen lately dr london uh

well it sounds like you’re hinting it’s

not particularly in my world

any anything in yours oh sorry go on you

didn’t receive

anything maybe a little odd on your

doorstep

okay so there was something

i didn’t was that from was that from you

yes i don’t know

what’d you get did you open it or is it

not open

well first i tried to open it but like

it’s really sealed up

you’re gonna need a crowbar yeah yeah or

honestly like like uh fireworks or

something like that

might work so you have to melt

you see did you say a bong yes smoke

weed every day

no like a bomb okay that means like an

explosive like

yeah like a grenade yeah um

yeah because it was i heard rumbling

from inside and maybe a growling sound

oh yeah if it’s not open then i mean you

can just throw it away because that

thing is not

it’s not going to still be alive

are you sure because i mean i thought i

heard at least moaning recently

what did you send me i mean it’s just

some sort of a creature i found a

thing i don’t know what it is i thought

this could be

like a fun stranger things season two

type of thing

where he finds the little frog type of

thing or whatever

and that it could like sort of start us

on a fun adventure

so i put it in the box left it on your

doorstep

and now you’ve probably killed it or

it’s closed to death

i mean if you if you’d like i can try to

open it now but

i don’t care okay it’s your gift do you

do with it

what you like i i don’t mind people who

like you know sell their gifts or give

it away or whatever that’s it’s your

gift

you can do what you want with it okay so

i can’t return it then

well i mean there’s no returns okay

do you have a receipt i

since you bought it i think you would be

the one to have the receipt well i

didn’t buy anything i found it

uh then i definitely okay like in the

wild

what did you send me what constitutes

the wild

outside like were you wandering again

well like is a little caesar’s parking

lot the wild

yes i i guess it

can count okay so you you found a

creature

is it a raccoon i don’t know what it is

i told you

that’s why i thought this could be a fun

adventure that might turn into like a

stranger things thing

and then maybe we can go visit the

upside down and maybe we can talk about

you know trying to bring the podcast to

the upside down

let the people there listen to it

listeners yeah double

listeners because it’s like opposite

world yeah

okay i guess so there our show is

listenable

right oh because it’s

you’re saying it’s not listenable here

well that’s a medical education podcast

i feel like actually

having a beast or creature of some kind

might be a distractor from you know the

medical topics that we

we bring up here oh so i shouldn’t have

brought it up i should have just like

let you let it die i guess

i probably just leave it in the wild

where you found it

well i mean you can do that if you want

it’s your gift i don’t i’d be i would be

disappointed

if you just yeah but it’s i mean it

sounds like it’s in your living room i

don’t i don’t

keep telling me to do stuff with it i

don’t have that option

yeah okay i guess i’ll try to free it

then

uh yeah it has started to have a smell

though

um you know anyway i had a former friend

who uh

gave away freed a gift i gave him and

he’s not a friend of mine anymore

so just consider that

okay well um also with us is

DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE yes

did you know the house

i don’t know where we’re going buddy

[Music]

because i have a theory that doctors

originated from mars and i’m one of

those people that’s

real in the dolphins

and mars yes and later

cameron tells me that we can expect uh a

doctor a physician

that’s right dr london and actually i

have one more surprise i didn’t even

tell you about this

or any of the rest we today

have a secret celebrity guest

that i’m going to reveal by the end of

the episode wow

here actually secret celebrity guest do

you want to say something

hey guys this is the secret guest

um i’m excited to be on the

as a surprise guest on the jock talk

podcast

um you know i think it’s

pretty cool so yeah just uh i’m excited

reveal the surprise

okay were your lips moving during that

huh sorry i thought i thought i saw your

lips moving a little bit during

nope during that oh i’m eating

yes okay okay yeah sorry i must have

been confused

um but before we move on i would like to

address a bit of listener feedback

so i found this note spray painted on my

back after i woke up from a nap

in an alley the other day the note reads

quote

it’s saturday and you can bring a plus

one

gladys told me she thinks you’re a stud

muffin

end quote um

so first of all i would like to thank

this listener for

uh their insightful question for the

podcast

um to answer your question

wow thank you i

uh i’m not i’m not sure about this

occasion on saturday but

wow uh tell gladys thank you for the

cousin

muffin that is that a medical thing is

that like

is that like that like that thing on

your lower back is that what that is

is that a stud muffin nope no the the

thing on my back was spray painted

i don’t think oh you mean the other the

not spray paint the thing that like to

wiggles around i don’t know how to

describe it

yeah i don’t want to i don’t really want

to bring that up for the listeners it’s

kind of a

kind of sure oh no no yeah sure sure you

can cut all this out i apologize if this

is like a hipaa violation

yeah but yeah is that

is that a stud muffin no no

like i can see how you’d think it’s

something else because it the way it

kind of pulses

but now um uh stud muffin i believe is

just a flattering term like saying

someone’s a stud

and saying muffin is like sort of a

uh term of endearment

so calling me a stud muffin i’m

speechless actually that gladys would

say something so flattering to me

um and to this listener is gladys

is she’s is she single if she if she

thinks i’m a stud muffin then i’m

i don’t know i like i like to

just just to double check you should

just ask and see

um if she was referring to the thing on

your back

yeah i can i guess you could to our

listener if if you could find out

both of these things both are kind of

i guess both are kind of weighing on me

one in a more literal sense

uh yeah it looks heavy like you

when you’re standing i it

looks like you’re holding a bag of

groceries not in your arms but just like

sort of how your shoulders are slumped

how are you sort of drawing you to the

earth i think yeah i mean i think you’ve

gotten shorter it’s it has thrown off my

center of gravity for sure

yeah but like i think it’s fine it’s

just you’re at the doctor i don’t

i mean yeah maybe maybe the

the doctor coming on later will be able

to help um

sort of see what this is right

in any case now for today’s medical

topic

large cell carcinoma large cell

carcinoma

makes up five to ten percent of all lung

cancers and is one of the lung cancers

in the group

of non-small cell lung cancers of course

with a name like that that that seems

kind of like a no-brainer

so non-small cell lung cancer is often

insidious

producing no symptoms until the disease

is well advanced yes

now the most common signs and symptoms

of lung cancer include you know

cough chest pain shortness of breath

coughing up blood you can have wheezing

hoarseness

recurrent infections such as bronchitis

and pneumonia

you can also have constitutional

symptoms like weight loss and loss of

appetite

yes you can have signs of metastasis and

that’s whenever the cancer has spread

from its original location

and that can include bone pain spinal

cord impingement and neurological

problems

such as headache weakness or numbness of

limbs dizziness seizures

yes and so for large cell carcinoma

cameron i actually thought you’d be more

enthusiastic because

when we talked about small cell you

thought it was too small

but large cell carcinoma

you know the name i don’t know i thought

i thought you’d like it more

um anyway to diagnose that

i was saying that you know i thought

you’d like this particular

topic oh sorry i was thinking about our

sponsor today it’s just

it’s been weighing on my mind a lot but

we can talk about that later unless you

want to talk about it now

what are you talking about you’re

talking about small stuff no i was

talking about the large cells oh are you

talking about

don’t talk about my toes on the show you

know i’m insecure about the size of them

i yeah that’s why you usually it’s like

little tic tacs

i don’t know why i can barely stand

which is why it’s weird that you bring

it up all the time but

kickball is a nightmare

every weekend in my league

i know it the fact that i didn’t join

that league

and where did you form it i don’t know

it’s like i have something to prove yes

so don’t talk about it on the show

okay so so to diagnose large cell

carcinoma

uh physical examine complete blood

counter taken then chest x-rays usually

the first test performed

that may show a peripherally located

pulmonary nodule

or mass you can have mediastinal

widening higher enlargement or pleural

effusion

if you can find a previous chest x-ray

that can be helpful to see if

there’s been growth of the lesion no

don’t

okay no i’m not talking about your toes

yeah but you know that my

little toes look like a chest with a

growth on it

i i do that’s exactly what they look

like that’s what everyone says

and you know it’s exactly what it smells

like too

i agreed and i did that’s kind of

neither here nor there because

so so there are several methods of

confusion i don’t think i wish i had

that

under control no i do

i do especially for your sake i really

do um

but so so for large cell carcinoma

though

uh you’ll determine sort of the method

of confirming the diagnosis with

and it changes colors to blend in with

its background

like a chameleon okay well you say that

but

and i thought that was normal my whole

life but i’ve never seen anyone else’s

toes

do that but i’ve been too embarrassed to

ask because i felt like it’s a stupid

question

well when you have poor circulation then

your toes can turn purple

sure and if that happens while you’re

over something

dark colored that doesn’t mean it’s

blending in like a chameleon

that just means like it just means you

have

less blood like it’s a coincidence it

usually happens when i’m stomping grapes

for the wine okay

well that’s for the

and so my feet they change color they

turn purple while i’m stomping the

grapes

to blend in with the background okay so

it’s

it’s more simple than what i thought

so that’s so you’ve been doing this your

whole life

yeah i mean five or six probably

you were stomping grapes to make wine

for that long

yeah not for me you know for my parents

yeah it’s one of the chores you know do

the dishes not the grapes

right and you and you thought so

did you notice that whenever you’re out

from the grapes that

your skin still stays changed because

it’s staining your feet

the grapes the skin of the grapes

oh i wouldn’t know they go right into my

purple shoes

i’ve got these um

they’re purple jordans yeah they’re

really they’re they were white

jordans that i uh

stomped grapes and yeah they’re just

normal jordans that i

like white jordans that i stomped grapes

with

yeah okay so i feel like there’s not

really much

to say there then you you probably

stained your feet and your shoes with

the same

stain and that’s what caused them to

to appear to be camouflaged

does that make sense

um we’ll talk about it after this so

anyway so the methyl diagnosis

uh they could include bronchoscopy um

sputum cytology mediastinoscopy

therocentesis thoracoscopy

and transthoracic needle biopsy along

with diagnosis staging must be done or

to find out how

you know the extent of the spread of the

large cell carcinoma

and that will guide treatment a chest ct

scan is a standard for staging lung

cancer and that will take into account

the size of the primary tumor the spread

of the cancer to regional lymph nodes

and whether the cancer has metastasized

the main treatment options for

non-small cell carcinoma like large cell

carcinoma are

surgery they’re still weird looking

though and radiation

you know what i mean yeah no because

they’re small

like that yeah they’re still look like

little tic tacs

regardless of you know what’s going on

with it but because most lung cancers

cannot there definitely is too much

space between it current treatments

skilled palliative

care is important again i feel stupid

asking this but like

there’s the gaps are too big

yeah no it your your feet have an odd

shape to them but you know i have

i have a sort of monkey toes right yes

mine are extra long

yes yeah well and it’s made worse

because i

i insist on wearing those runners shoes

that look like feet

and so my oddly shaped feet like have to

be forced

into it like i’m a you know

a geisha who’s crushing the bones in her

feet to fit into a smaller shoe size

yeah but i mean you always say it’s

worth it

yeah the speed that i have when i wear

him is unbelievable

well anyway of course you advising all

patients who smoke to stop smoking is

critical

fast as hell

yeah yeah no one can

stomp grapes faster than mine yeah i

feel like faster than me

when i wear when you wear their shoes

yeah yep

well i uh i i guess that’s that’s a good

time to go ahead and just move on from

there then

cameron do we have any sponsors today

we do dr london

[Music]

okay uh all right what what’s the

sponsor

toes just says toes

you might just be looking at your own

toes because they’re on your mind right

now no no no it’s an email here look at

my phone it’s

oh that’s an email it says sponsor toes

and look there’s the payment yeah huh

all right all right well thank you to

our sponsor well

let’s let’s you know pump it up a little

toes are great

um yeah no i use it every day again they

they paid us

and i don’t know who this is but we do

want them to be happy yeah you know

a happy sponsor so toes you got ten of

them um

maybe a couple more maybe a couple less

yeah depending

help you stand um you could pick things

up with them

i can’t obviously because of the yeah

the odd shape and

but but you’re an exception like that

generally most people can yeah yeah

and i understand that yeah um animals

have toes

animals have toes super cute cats have

you know little toes and stuff

yeah all right that’s it all right thank

you to our sponsor

toes

all right um cameron you said that we

have a

a doctor as a guest today before we get

this guest let’s uh let’s hear one more

word

from our super secret celebrity guest

that we’re gonna reveal at the end of

the episode

okay hey guys it’s the

surprise guest again just checking in

and

wanted to say hey to everyone to all my

fans

and to all my um

the people out there have supported me

uh teachers

so i’m excited to be on here can’t wait

reveal the surprise

yeah okay well thank you to our

celebrity

guest i still don’t know who that is

over there in the shadows in the corner

of the room i haven’t

let you see him yet yeah but your lips

were

it really looked like the lips were

moving but no no you look over there

you see that yeah it looks like maybe

like a lump of blankets

that’s our on a chair that’s the

celebrity guest wow okay well

if you wouldn’t mind we’ll go back to

our our actual you know

non-celebrity get this is a physician

right yeah yeah yeah

okay yeah so cameron you said that you

found a a doctor who apparently

uh knows me or i know him something like

that

that’s right dr london we have today

with

us the very special dr dank

oh cameron thanks for having me on

oh oh london smith oh

you fucking nerd whoa okay so for our

listeners

he did it was a it was a friendly punch

i guess

that was pretty good no it wasn’t no

okay yeah that seemed uh very malicious

yes uh so that’s that’s

that’s my old old buddy dr dank

which um you remembered how to say it

yeah because i well we

now what you’ve got to explain to me

what’s going on because yes i did know

that this was someone that you knew

previously but that’s only because

that’s what he told me i have no context

for

any of this yeah i don’t understand

why you would let me come on in the

first place

never listen to the podcast well i take

that back

london tried to show it to me initially

i got through like 30 seconds it’s

complete garbage

yes yeah totally do you know anyone in

the upside down

i can’t say that i do okay yeah cool

cool cool okay so um

yeah so to introduce uh so dr dank

and during my intern year

uh going into medicine

you you have your you know your

attendings um you’ll you’ll go in as a

doctor

and you’ll have your attending

physicians and so

dr dank um made us

for one thing made every uh doctor

address him as such

with with the extra a’s and he spelled

it with

four or five was it four or five it

please don’t hit me um

i want to see those four a’s to say dr

dank

um well and one of the a’s is the

anarchy symbol

is that is that still pronounced the

same

or is it dr dan or key inc

i do like that but let’s let london keep

going he’s doing good

well thank thank you thank you and

that’s

that is higher praise than i ever

received working under him

i’m on your show yeah yeah okay

great so um anyway he

uh so i no way what did you mean by that

i’m on the show oh he’s on the yeah

yeah but that’s not that’s not higher

praise

oh it’s well it’s a sure it’s a cause

for

it’s a reason to be nice to me i think

is what he’s getting at here

i guess i’ll do my best still seems

pretty malicious that’s all i’m saying

yeah so uh internet

it’s you yeah he’s

okay um that’s not just me right

nope no that’s he’s i think

he’s grinding his teeth yeah

and he during during that first year of

residency

it’s pretty tough you’re working you

know crazy hours

and he would i feel i feel like i maybe

got a little bit worse

than the other interns um

uh like i’d never gotten a swirly before

in my life yeah that’s what we do to

nerds it’s

just a joke yeah and

and i like i i appreciate a funny you

know little gag sometimes but

no he doesn’t trust me i say funny stuff

all the time and he laughs

he never laughs he has the worst sense

of humor out of anyone

maybe ever yeah no i do trust me i get

that but

doc wait i want to hear from dr dank

you’re talking about oh whatever

residency

dr dank what what what do you think of

dr london

i’ll be honest i thought he quit after

the first six months

i didn’t see him a whole lot um

he got a lot of abuse early on he showed

up in

women’s scrubs first day and that just

sets the wrong tone

but i will say with his frame i don’t

know how he could fit in men’s scrubs

and they don’t make youth sizes that i

know of

yeah yeah i that is interesting

i didn’t know are those specially made

i didn’t look i went to you know it’s

before you get a big paycheck as a

physician so i went to the discount rack

and i got

you know what i could afford at the time

uh i

had you know all the student debt all

these bills to pay and so

yeah i got what was on sale and i didn’t

realize that it was

a women’s scrubs but it

i don’t think most other people would

have noticed but

once you get that once you get that big

paycheck that big physician paycheck

he said that was before the paycheck i

mean that’s like

i knew a guy once he was a physician he

signed on at uh

at a baylor medical for uh a five-year

contract 85 million dollars big check

yeah so this was a lot less than that

yeah um

what i was making to start out and so so

he would um

so i wore those those women’s scrubs the

first day and like height

with this doctor there’s not a uh

there’s not a hold on his contract so he

can be traded to other hospitals uh

any time of the season wow okay all

right

yeah especially if you get me in touch

with that guy and it’s guaranteed so

even if he gets injured or something

and he’s out for a few months um but

he’ll still be able to cash in on that

contract

and the advertising is through the roof

are you thinking of sports no no go

ahead

okay because it just sounds a little bit

to me like a

sports right because too many of you

said millions of dollars that doesn’t

sound like most of

doctor paychecks uh

as far as i’m aware um

yeah so anyway so i go in i i realize

the actual rich doctor is not gonna let

you know that that’s what they’re making

because you’re going to get jealous and

mean

yeah maybe maybe i i guess i can’t speak

to that i don’t i don’t know any

dr dank how much do you make

a lot more than london smith i’ll leave

it at that and you would never tell

london

how much you make right he’d cry he was

he’s like a loser nerd yeah but i mean

making him cry

very easy yeah well oh i want to hear

about this

can you tell me a time in the past from

you know when you guys knew each other

back in the day that you made him cry

i think it’d be easier to go to the

times where he didn’t cry

no there were no they weren’t way

easier to just talk about the uh the

just one time that he cried way easier

london no no no london you tell us

about the elevator incident

so i look i don’t want so i

you were so proud i

i don’t want to rehash it but yeah i

stepped in the elevator

you were you were there um you were so

proud

of the before

so so i was there cried because you were

proud of something

in the elevator he cried of what his

pride

brought him to do he instantly

realized what he’d done so that day

there was

this um there was someone that i

liked romantically also in the elevator

which but the gravity of i i actually

don’t want to tell the story come

like no i really i need to know

what you were proud of that made you cry

in the elevator with a crush

so i i don’t really feel comfortable

sharing exactly

what it wasn’t comfortable for me let me

remind you

okay so we get in the elevator it’s our

group we have three

four residents couple med students with

and i guess london’s crush whoever that

was she was probably fat

i don’t know uh but anyway

a family member patient i guess walks

into the elevator with

us there’s kind of this awkward silence

you know we hit five we go up the

elevator

she’s like oh can you hit six london hit

six four

um right i was going good so far

yeah you’re doing great and instead of

just leaving it nice and quiet london

looks at her he’s like

i’m a resident all bright-eyed and

bushy-tailed

we’re stifling our laughter at this

point

[Laughter]

and if that wasn’t bad enough london

what did you tell the lady next

i don’t look i don’t want to oh no

london what was it

i don’t want to she’s clearly weirded

out by this creepy scrawny dude

yeah and he’s like just sweating all

over yeah and

to kill the silence he’s like and and

this is my attending

as if i’m some oh yeah just prize the

show off

oh my god and everyone’s i mean everyone

else knows better

yeah everyone is just like losing their

minds yeah so

well and the thing is dr dank

had told us previously oh feel free

i’m a bragging right you having me on

your team is the best thing for you

yeah and so i i translated this as

oh introduce me to everyone in the

elevator

just dr london it sounds like you got

pranked by the bank

and so i am i right

yeah and so i’m say it i got pranked by

the dank

and there it is i’m glad for your sake

cameron that he’s not making you say it

the way

i have to i guess it’s only people who

worked sort of under him

i just don’t want to have to like pay

the royalties for it

yeah so anyway uh

and i i guess dr dang so we’re we’re

teaching our listeners about

large cell carcinomas so maybe maybe

instead of

you know uncomfortable stories about me

because we don’t know so that

that girl i liked that was in there um

yeah that made you proud until you cried

i i was the the pushing the right

elevator button

uh i was very nervous and so

getting the pushing the correct elevator

button made me feel pretty good

introducing my attending made me feel

good but then

once i realized that no one was going to

be on my like backing me up for that

anyway

it’s i guess it sounds more minor than

what it felt like at the moment

but at the time it was well worth

weeping over like a little baby

i get and i didn’t want to bring up the

last thing that happened there

but i guess to to give it because it

doesn’t sound like much of a story

dr dank also pantsed me in my head

in front of the patient wow

yeah so all that other stuff that

you just could have skipped all of that

and just said the panting car

well i felt like all the context really

just added nothing

i mean hell even the the fact that it’s

in an elevator doesn’t add anything to

the story

it’s just that’s where it happened but

the the fact that i it’s a

closed container space

i introduce my myself and my attending

and how does my attending reply

he pulls my pants down in front of the

patient’s family

and no i guess you’re right i guess that

extra context just really added

so much to the story and makes it way

better

okay well i don’t know do you do you

have another story i

sorry well it’s just just coming from

the crying thing because

that seems to be an issue what about uh

dr dank just something from the past

what about like

uh something that our listeners would

want to hear

some maybe a story maybe a prank you

pulled on him

or maybe you cut the tires on his car

or maybe i don’t think we need more i

don’t think we need more stories about

uh i mean dr dank has had a very

successful career he could

yeah that’s true dr dank let’s talk

about you i want to hear about you

what do you want to know i want to know

what your day-to-day life is like

so so one thing dr dank sorry dr

dank always brought up

was his ball and chain

um yeah i know that game

well and sometimes he re that meant his

wife other times it did refer to

a literal ball and chain that he would

keep in his office

oh yeah when i said i know that game i

meant tetherball

yeah so he it’s like a i was so poor

growing up that our

our tetherball court was a it was a ball

on a chain

instead of you know really like a like a

rope or whatever

so you would punch it you would punch

the ball

well yeah i mean i couldn’t kick it not

with my toes

yeah well and even if you did did you

did you injure yourself with that

that we can move on you know okay well

i mean it’s not a much better story for

me because it’s

so he kept us volunteering in his office

and one of his pranks was

you know when we’re waiting we’re on

call uh

you know the interns you know what we’ll

going like if a patient does coding for

example we’ll we’ll have to run over

there

so one of his pranks would be to chain

one of us up

so that we would have to find a way to

escape from that

to to to go see a patient when we and we

need to

we need to and he would just sit there

laughing at us

whatever that’s pretty funny

dr dank do you i mean

did anyone die because of that

i mean they’re dead when they’re coding

so because of that

no but it didn’t help oh okay

yeah but i mean i wanna

yeah he kept emphasizing resourcefulness

so he would give us

he would throw me a nail file

and say be a doctor

wow and so so that i

basically just did a semester of medical

school didn’t i

yes no i because it’s i would say that

so far

no doctor before that nor any doctor

i’ve worked with after that

has had such a policy but is that pretty

much everything he taught you was just

sort of throwing stuff at you and saying

be a doctor

because if so then that i mean that’s a

semester of school right there that’s

awesome

yeah i i guess if we want to break it

down to that

doctor do you have a do you have a

curriculum or something

how does this work i don’t actually know

how

medicine works it’s very free form

that’s my curriculum i kind of alternate

objects i throw at my interns

and most of the time my intern was

london smith

yeah but i actually do want to ask him

where did you go after those first six

months

i well i applied to a different

specialty because

well i’m like well at first i complained

to the board and they said

no man that guy’s sweet that guy’s

awesome uh

apparently dr dank was very popular

and had a lot of influence so every time

that i tried to move

like to go probably was sort of a player

yeah a lot of girlfriends yeah which the

interns were required to keep track of

his schedule and his dates

his dinners his luncheons his brunches

that was the exam or whatever

it was just no no if only that were it

no it’s it was just one of those things

where i feel like i’m i’m being mean

now actually i’m sorry dr dang

for for for speaking so so freely about

it it’s just

this is um i’m hearing compliments

that’s all i’m hearing well i i i do

want to know dr

dank what what brought you here today i

know i invited you on the show but you

did say that you wanted to be on the

show what

did you have a specific reason just

checking in on my boy

you know yeah he oh yeah yeah just a bro

check

because had i known that you were coming

on i

i don’t not to be rude but i don’t think

i would have said yes

because of i guess of

your educational approach so we i don’t

know

on this podcast we give medical lessons

and just we say them out loud instead of

as you were saying the free form uh sort

of sink or swim

with a scalpel thrown at you at the time

and that was one thing

anytime if i said scalpel

pass me a scalpel he would throw it

and it’s not even his job to be passing

it necessarily maybe

just because you don’t like his teaching

methods doesn’t mean that the teaching

methods are incorrect dr london it’s not

all about you it’s not all about

oh uh you know can

well is this uh is this like playing a

video game

that’s all i know how to do i’m dr

london i just don’t oh it’s not like

playing a video game so i hate

i i hate this

yeah i i don’t think i normally mention

video games so much but yeah yeah so i’m

uh so people have the different learning

types they’ll be audio or visual or

you know uh if it’s written down

whatever kinesthetic

kinesthetic yeah whatever your aesthetic

thrown yeah so yeah i guess

in that sense a lot of his learning

style his teaching style was

throwing yeah and pinning against a wall

yeah that’s he’s a very he’s a tactile

learner

yeah you know it’s touch it’s a kinetic

yeah kinetic learner well kinetic

teacher i would say because i

i don’t know that he learns in the same

way but that’s true

well i mean i mean dr dank i

i gotta ask are you a good doctor it

sounds like you can’t get fired

right i mean would you how would you

rate yourself your your own medical

skills

like on a scale of one to ten rank

myself

yeah he’s gotten a lot of awards i i

have so i think those speak for

themselves i’d like to hear

london smith yeah well okay because yes

he was constantly being given awards and

it was very frustrating to be around it

because for one thing he would throw

those awards

yeah i

yes and he would ask for the like if if

someone gave him you know just a badge

or something he would ask for it in

plaque form because he’d like to

have sort of an overhand or a frisbee

motion he

it needed to to be heavy

he would actually he would send it out

for special order to have

uh like a lead backing put on it so that

it would be heavier

for when he threw it and i’d

for me this is all frustrating

to to a large degree because i

i don’t want to be on the receiving end

of that um because i’m trying to treat

patients and to learn and

have exposure to medicine and

but yeah dr dank um you know i said

earlier that i had transferred to

another hospital after those six months

i i took a medical leave for

for a few months oh is that when you

disappeared for a while

yeah i j and dear my didn’t hear from

you

i didn’t see you yeah

it was when you came back a lot of your

clothes still had

like like sand on it

just just a ton of sand

yeah well that’s because i got stuck in

a ravine but that’s

kind of neither here nor there that i’m

just saying so there are different

learning styles and i feel like what

ravine

uh i mean

i don’t know that it has a name it was

big enough for me to

fall down did you cry when you fell into

right well that’s yes dr london you are

a big baby aren’t you

it well once again it is neither here

nor that and

look dr dank it’s

i i thought this when i first saw you i

thought

maybe this could be therapeutic for me

but mostly this is bringing up a lot of

memories frankly i kind of saw you dr

dank as a bully

at the time and i know you you kept

saying like you kept you made us buy

multiple copies of your book on how to

teach medicine

and you kept saying like you use the

term throw the book at him and then you

would throw the book at us

and then you would send us an invoice uh

i just

i don’t know i thought that we would get

more out of this and this is also

very much like him too he’d be he’ll be

silent and he’ll just hit you

and that would be his teaching method

but it

sounds like he has made a gigantic

impact on your life wouldn’t you say so

dr london

yeah yeah i mean here you are talking

about them

that’s true um i feel like that’s not

necessarily

a good thing in a lot of capacities but

um i guess that’s a good time to go

ahead and

to wrap this up huh right sure

i mean yeah dr dank you know is

is there anything you want to say i’d

like to give a thank you to cameron

yep you’re running the show man

appreciate it you’re keeping it together

it’s it’s tough i gotta be honest

for london some parting words

out of all the doctors i’ve worked with

you’re certainly one of them

yes and i’ll leave it at that

and i don’t even know about that i don’t

trust his credentials at all

i i will say while working with dr dank

he would often tell me

that he doesn’t consider this to be

working with him so i that is a step up

that is a huge step up from what it used

to be he didn’t

consider me as a physician during my

time with him

so uh like uh

so so thank you to our guest dr dank

thank you to uh cameron our producer

thank you to diddy dylan the host

[Music]

dr london it sounds like you got pranked

by the deck

for london some parting words

out of all the doctors i’ve worked with

you’re certainly one of them

and i’ll leave it at that

of all the doctors

[Music]

my name is dr londonsmith.com and this

has been

the job whoa whoa whoa whoa we have to

reveal the secret celebrity guest are

you ready

yeah yeah our secret celebrity guest

is stanley from the office

i would rather work for an upturned

broom with a bucket for a head than work

for somebody else in this office besides

myself

game on this is pretzel day

i got them a toaster they called up the

wedding

i tried to return the toaster to the

store and they said they no longer sold

that kind of toaster

so now my house wow that’s so awesome

stanley from the office we’re so glad to

have you here

okay you’ve been watching this whole

show you’ve been you’ve been hearing us

go back and forth and

you’ve been you know seeing dr dank you

know completely pwned dr london over

here do you have i mean do you have

anything to

to say about that she’s on a honeymoon

she won’t be back for six weeks

okay so uh stanley could we have you

just say

you know um thanks for listening to the

jock talk podcast that’d be

it’ll be helpful to get that bumper i do

not think that is funny

okay okay okay that’s i guess that’s

fair um

i didn’t think it was that funny either

helpful promotional thing for us i don’t

care okay

okay yeah no okay you made yourself

clear the first time

um anyway uh so that was stanley our

other

celebrity our celebrity guest uh my name

is dr londonsmith.com

and this has been the jock doc podcast

i changed my mind i want to keep this

job

[Music]

hmm

[Music]

you run your hands through her hair she

murmurs something that you can’t quite

understand

but it sounds agreeable so you continue

it is so relaxing to lay back like this

on a blanket in this secluded area

eyes closed you continue exploring with

your hand

untangling whatever clumps of hair bunch

together over much

your phone vibrates and you try to

ignore it try to keep blocking out the

world at large

but after a few seconds you peek open

one eye to see who it is

huh the caller id says

that it’s your girlfriend your hand that

was stroking hair is suddenly still

as your other hand answers and that

voice you love so much comes through

did you forget to pick me up for our

picnic date again

if she’s back at her place then whose

hair is this

your eyes narrow and you look to the

luscious hair that you have been

stroking

only to have the eyes of a cute little

vole meet yours

not again speaking of little getaways

don’t forget to leave a five-star review

of the jock doc podcast

in which you expound upon the times that

you have mistaken your girlfriend for a

rodent

and while you’re at it go ahead and

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we are @jockdocpodcast thanks for listening

Jock Doc Podcast

58: Adenocarcinoma/Rev Jay & Raven Hole

July 20, 2020 London Smith

hey kids you are about to listen to

comedy podcasts that means that

none of this is medical advice

if you need medical advice

or medical care please

contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring

dr london smith

the only podcast that will not stop

until we’ve touched as many lives as

coronavirus

introducing your host dr

london smith

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

dr londonsmith.com would like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as retrospective cohort study and

a lady in the house say okay okay i see

you boo

so i will try to temper my terminology

to a simpler one in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron that says

i say meet the ball okay cameron you’re

mm-hmm

it seems like your accent changed a

little bit uh yeah it changed

it changed a little bit let me uh let me

let me you know say you gotta say

something spicy first say something

spicy

okay so so cameron is so dedicated to

making sure that our podcast stays

relevant

yes that when he heard the phrase sun

time

fun time he began waking up before dawn

and taking carefully timed measurements

of things that he deemed to be

fun using a stopwatch access

i say meet the ball right okay so that

was

that was spicy enough i think so you’re

talking about me i zoned out for the

rest of it

but let me let me get my accent you

wanna

that’s says i say mate the ball

yeah knew that and is that

is that spanish is that’s a spicy

meatball

spanish yeah uh i i mean

i’m not gonna fault a spaniard for

saying that i guess

okay i can’t say that that’s a spicy

meatball is usually associated with

spain

but if that’s what you want to okay yeah

sorry

it’s just accents sometimes i get them

oh yeah no

i just uh and i wasn’t sure if i had the

sort of i don’t want to say stereotype

but like

the the classically associated

is i see me

that says i see me the ball

yes okay so that’s pretty good but i

guess we can go ahead and move on from

there then

so if that’s all right with you but let

me explain myself

okay i have been sitting for now

like 700 episodes or how however many

episodes we’ve done of this show yes

and i’ve watched dj dillon have so much

fun

with these kooky sounds and these crazy

sound effects

and these front rows and these like

zaps and all these noises that he makes

so i have hacked into the system

and now dj dylan i’m sorry you’re not

the only one making zoink sounds

i get to also make sounds unfortunately

i have not figured out how to do

more than one sound that’s s i say mate

the ball

dylan has been able to figure out like a

hundred and i’m getting there i think

maybe after a couple years of training

and and and learning i’ll be maybe able

to get

to dj dylan’s number no but since i’m a

beginner right now it’s just the one

sound

well okay so the the listeners can’t see

this but that’s

this i see made the ball so so cameron

doesn’t have like a normal sound board

going he has

it looks like one of those telephone

operators old-timey things you have to

plug it into the wall

every time you do a sound effect you

have to run over and plug it in here and

there

and then well put on the headphones

there’s a crank as well

yeah and you seem to i guess it doesn’t

really pick up as much but you seem to

be talking to someone to make sure that

it’s going through

every time uh yeah i’m like operator

here

play the sound effect and they’re like

roger and then they do it on their

system then i plug it back into

the sound board that i’ve rigged up

which then

exports it to

dj dylan who then plugs it into the

sound effect speakers yes

yeah and i get and look i this isn’t

really obsessed

i see me this isn’t really my field so

much so i can’t

like speak too definitively about it but

i feel like

there surely there’s an easier way to to

do that

you know what i mean yeah well i think

the technology is getting there yes

and you know a lot of times we we look

at future technology and we

you know we watch tv shows and it’s like

oh they have hover cars back to the

future too

they’ve got hoverboards that everyone’s

flying around in

and you’d think why don’t we have that

now but sometimes it takes

a while for the technology to catch up

to the vision

okay yeah and once again i you know and

so the technology that you’re describing

of being able to play a sound effect

without

the as many inputs and outputs and

exports and imports

and the sound board system and the

operator on the other side that we’re

having to pay full time

yeah of course i’d love for it to be

easier than that but the technology

hasn’t reached that point

okay yeah and okay and i guess i’ll have

to trust you on that because i

yeah once again you provide the

equipment and so this is all

it’s all kind of outside of my realm but

um speaking

of whom uh also with us is DJ DYLAN

IN DA HOUSE

a lady in the house say okay i see you

boo

a lady in the house say okay i see you

boo

[Music]

a liddy in the house say okay i see you

boo

that says

[Applause]

i see me the ball

[Music]

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest

so look forward to that that’s right dr

london

uh before we move on i would like to

address a bit of listener feedback

i found this note written across the

wrappings

of uh of a body in the morgue

um the note reads quote she is not

invited to the potluck

she was a very nasty woman end quote

first of all i would like to thank this

listener so much for

for such an insightful question here on

the jock talk podcast

um to answer your question

i would not think that this deceased

individual’s opinion

would have much like a significant

impact on the guest list

for an upcoming potluck

but i could be wrong um

uh or yeah why not yeah well

because uh if someone isn’t alive

anymore

then then they’re

opinion on who should be the you know

present company

at you know an outdoor gathering

it doesn’t seem like it would be super

right but they just passed away right i

mean if they’re in the morgue

so couldn’t they have made this decision

before they died you’re saying after

they died and if they had special

requests about the invite list

then their friends and family would just

be like oh they’re dead now we shouldn’t

respect what

what they had said when they were alive

oh we can invite whoever we want

they said to not invite someone well we

now we can invite them finally because

they’re dead

that’s how you see this situation

playing yeah it just seems like

it’s such a casual social game but

you’re right you’re right maybe i don’t

understand the full context and maybe

this note was also written to the

deceased

and then this could be a very

insensitive way to tell them that they

are not invited that’s

that’s the other interpretation i had

for that note

um that could be true i mean did they

look like a huge pain

they well they uh they looked pale yes

but yeah but i i expect that from

one from the deceased usually yes but

did you did it look like that kind of

like the kind of guy

who would like come up to you and like

no matter what you’re talking about with

your friends

he tries to make it about his job he’s

like oh that reminds me the other day at

work

um you know my boss phil he’s you know

he’s the

he’s the head of the um you know copying

division or whatever

you know what i mean because if he looks

like that kind of guy yeah you don’t

want him in a potluck yeah i guess i

trust me i’ve been there yeah well uh i

guess for me i don’t

i don’t know how to pick out that kind

of person

that kind of individual just because you

don’t think dr london

okay well and that’s you have no

discernment

well anyway to this listener you know in

any case thank you for listening

um that’s us i say me the ball

now for today’s medical topic

adenocarcinoma

adenocarcinoma is one of the lung

cancers in the group of non-small

cell lung cancers and makes up about 35

percent of all lung cancers

so it’s actually the most common type

wow

and non-small cell cancer is often

insidious

so it’ll produce no symptoms until

usually until the disease is well

advanced

one thing that sets yeah but only 35 of

it will do that right

so it’s just this this particular

subset within that category so it’s not

just 35 it’s more than 35

because there are other ones okay but

it’s 35 of that subset right

yeah adenocarcinoma is yes yes okay

but it’s 35 percent of what you were

just saying

yes this particular cancer it makes up

of all lung cancers okay

got it okay does that make sense then do

you okay

yeah yeah yeah i got it so one thing

that sets adenocarcinoma apart from

other lung cancers is that

it has less association with smoking so

but only a 35 percent less association

with smoking right

uh i don’t i don’t have the exact

numbers on me for

the you know the degrees but

basically this is the cancer that well i

think using basic

logic and common sense um we can surmise

that the it’s only like a 30 f

like smoking is only 35 bad okay so

so actually so this one is not

associated with smoking

this is like the the the one lung cancer

i’ve talked about so far where it’s not

associated with smoking so the 35

would be like the less relevant part

in that regard you see what i mean so

like the 65

that’s remaining most of that will have

you know some association with smoking

so do you see how that’s okay

like yeah it’s like 35 it’s like 30

it’s like uh maybe like six

cigarettes out of a pack okay and once

so so the thing about

this particular lung cancer success i

say

is the the the lack of this like not the

lack but the um

it’s significantly less associated with

smoking so that’s

this one you can get kind of regardless

of that

um and i think yeah the like

i think like the seven or the the 72s

are like maybe like 30 35 ish

of the 100s the cigarette sizes i feel

like you’re just

you’ve you found a number that you liked

and you’re just trying to apply it to

any factoid about

i’m a math i’m a math guy

i get it you’re a science guy i’m a math

guy we all have our different strengths

right

i’m just trying to translate it to a

language that i understand okay but yeah

go ahead go ahead okay so the most

common signs and symptoms of

lung cancer include cough chest pain

shortness of breath

coughing up blood wheezing hoarseness

recurring infections such as bronchitis

and pneumonia

you can also have constitutional

symptoms like you know weight loss and

loss of appetite

the the weight loss especially is one of

those things um that you look for for

cancer uh you can have signs of

metastasis

and that’s whenever the cancer is spread

from its original location

so that can include bone pain so what

was that

so well the list of symptoms you’re

talking about or the

the signs that you have it obviously

only 35

of that is going to apply to each

individual person so do they get to

pick and choose or is that something

that it’s kind of thrust upon you so

because like out of that list

i would probably choose coughing because

i think sometimes coughing would

kind of feels good um but like i

wouldn’t yeah um but i wouldn’t pick

miss mustacesus or whatever you just

said just because it’s too hard to

pronounce

so i’d like to get that one taken care

of yeah so

uh most of your question doesn’t make

that much sense to me because

the 35 percent once again it’s not a

number that you can just apply to any

aspect

of the disease then why are we using the

number then why are we using the number

at all

well because well so it did apply to one

part

so the fact that adenocarcinoma makes up

just watching you

squirm in your seat trying to answer

this question this simple

yes that’s undoing all of your medical

knowledge because you don’t know how to

answer something as as philosophical as

what i’m putting down

yeah it just makes me so happy so

everything i’ve said about you on this

podcast i’m watching

happen before my eyes i’m watching you

crumble so

let me heat it up some of the other

signs of metastasis are spinal cord

impingement

neurological problems like headache

weakness or numbness

uh of limbs you can have dizziness and

seizures

uh but to die

right so to diagnose physical examine

complete blood cancer

and then usually uh chest x-rays the

first test to be performed

um and imaging may show a peripherally

located

uh pulmonary nodule or mass you can have

mediastinal widening adelectasis

hyler enlargement or pleural effusion

previous chest x-ray

is super helpful to check for the rate

of lesion growth

so if you can find that that’s what you

know a given physician will usually look

for

and there are many methods of confirming

diagnosis and that’s

you know determined by i guess

presentation and location of the lesion

uh and percentages i

it’s yeah i to some percentages sure

uh so that can bronchoscopy sputum

cytology mediastinoscopy

fluorocentesis thoracoscopy and uh

trans-jurassic

what i think is interesting about a lot

of what we’re talking about is you know

we had mentioned before the 35

percentile but now we’re if we also

think about the other side of that which

is going to be the 65

percentile which i think a lot of times

in a lot of science and a lot of

statistics

you focus on the one without focusing on

the other which makes up the whole

so then 35 and 65 what is that that

makes up the 100

and if you think of like 100 of

um cancers being um

sort of uh they’re four

pushed by the smoke from the

marble menthol smooth 100s which is the

top those are the tallest cigarettes

yes then suddenly i mean you have to

question if that 35

is not something closer to maybe 40 or

based on the name of a cigarette you

think that

the that the statistic would change

okay well i again i’m a math guy i’m

just translating this to a language that

makes sense to me

yeah and i admittedly what you’re saying

doesn’t really make

much sense to to me but um

any case so along with diagnosis you

also have to stage

the cancer to find out the extent of the

spread of the adenocarcinoma

and that guides treatment so uh use

chest ct scan

and that’s the standard for staging the

lung cancer and that will

you know take into account the size of

the tumor the spread of it to regional

lymph nodes whether the cancer is

metastasized

the main treatment options for all of

the non-small cell lung cancers are

going to be surgery chemotherapy and

radiation generally

speaking but most lung cancers cannot be

cured with current treatments

so skilled palliative care is uh is

what’s going to be

very important for the treatment of

adenocarcinoma but only one

only 35 percent as important as if you

were using

sort of a different methodology

i think if you were to use a different

methodology than say

i guess western medicine

then i’m not obsessed you just fell for

it i say make the bone

oh did i yep

yes uh all right well anyway i guess i

guess we can move on from there

all right uh cameron you said that we

have a guest today

that is right dr london we have a very

very special guest i know i’ve said that

a few times

but i think special can be a wide enough

umbrella

to include more than just one person you

know what i mean

yes yeah like uh

the handicapped sometimes or

um yeah like any sort of just any

um uh selective individuals

yeah i mean i was just thinking like

shaq like shaq special he’s really tall

okay they can dunk like great

yeah okay so the handicapped shack it’s

not shaq

shaq is not our guest but i’m just

trying to establish that just because

our guest is special doesn’t mean that

shaquille o’neal isn’t special

you know because you okay because you’d

kind of you’ve been hinting at a shack

type

yeah i have building up to this yeah i

have been throwing around a lot of clues

around the office

i’ve been yeah i’ve been like throwing

paper balls

into a trash can and being like shaq

even though like you usually say

can’t wait for our guests but uh yeah

can’t wait for our guest or surprise

guest

uh but it is not shaq i really want to

make that clear

okay all right and uh welcome oh is that

i i do recognize this guest so it’s a

returning guest

that’s right hello um rev j uh

rev j yeah well hello

hey and uh hello how are we doing

no sir it’s so good even though i see

you every single morning

it’s so good to see you here now with us

yes well i can only say likewise

you know when when you say that um

it’s you know all of those things that

you were just saying um

it feels great to be here and um i’m

just so glad to

be a guest and for you to have me on

here

uh thank you yeah so

no i’m not exactly sure why you brought

oh go ahead

yeah i guess i’m just i’m just not sure

why i mean this is no offense intended

rev j but

so normally this is a medical education

podcast and

last time you were on here if i remember

right you

you brought up uh i don’t remember if it

was it was some sort of

we had to recite a lot of things in

order to get the

correct balance in our chi or something

and then you played a song on guitar yes

right you know it’s funny you should

mention that um the last time

that you know we met up and i was on the

show and

all those things happened i left from

there

i felt just a kind of a calling to

go off into the wilderness and so

i just started walking and

um i started wandering for days and

eating just nuts and berries basically

and throughout that time of

isolation social isolation and

distancing i came to a place where i

wanted to

just renounce all types of physical

possessions or physical

material anything so so

i i i stripped off all my clothes

even my own name i denounced it and i

you know i was me but now i am we

and i i don’t even have a name anymore

and then i eventually found my way out

of the forest

and i ended up right back in the parking

lot outside your studio

and then i walked back in the

receptionist was very nice and

she uh sent me up here and here i

am wow um

that’s right and on this journey um i’ve

actually

sort of been able to bond with well

the artist formerly known as rev j who

is now a nameless

entity yes because during this journey

he was sending me notes and letters and

sort of being

i want to say sort of a mentor towards

me right i mean

wouldn’t you say sir

yeah yeah yeah i um

i forgot that i did bring one thing with

which was a notepad and pen that was

clipped to the notepad

so it counts as one item but i feel like

you’re allowed to always bring one

item with you when you just you know you

have to have something just for

emergencies

and that’s what i felt was the most

important item for me to bring

so i could communicate with my mentee

cameron um any you know

advice i could give like that was

that was one of the main things that i

had learned which i thought was really

special was

the importance of getting rid of

everything

but i mean you gotta have one thing

right that’s where that’s where it’s a

little bit of a back and forth you know

sometimes i’m the mentor sometimes he

pushes back and he

and i’m like okay you got it like you

might have noticed dr london that yeah i

personally have not gotten rid of my

clothes or rid of my possessions or

anything and that’s because

i keep telling myself you know as i’m

about to throw away my mattress

as i’m about to throw away my shoes i

say

yeah i got to get rid of everything and

then when i reach the trash can i’m like

but i got to keep one thing and then i

just kind of

repeat that cycle for everything because

yeah i know

one thing leads to another like

eventually i saw you just

standing outside of your house and

saying

pointing at the house and saying one

thing

yeah well that was different i was

saying one thing i don’t know why it

doesn’t even matter how hard you try

and how hard you try yeah okay so that

was another

thing that the artist formerly known as

as rev j had taught me was the lyrics to

that lincoln park song yes okay

i tried so hard yes so wise

and got so far so wise yes

i’m sorry what oh sorry this is my tele

this is my telephone board let me

let me let me i gotta unplug this thing

and then plug

that thing in i gotta switch this

there’s like 5 000 wires yeah i gotta

switch

this board with this okay

and okay hello

hello hello can can can you hear me

uh yeah you sound very you sound sort of

far away

i i feel far away

do you recognize my voice yeah

i’m sorry this is this uh okay this is

from much much longer ago uh

is this uh raven hall a previous guest

raven this this is

an apparition of raven hole i’ve i’ve

done

many changes since then and

as i can see from my current listening

to your podcast that i have so dutifully

subscribed to in the absence of

of my my mentee

buddy beer hole of raven do you remember

that

name yeah it’s it’s almost like an old

specter

it’s something that’s haunted me to this

day i i

haven’t thought about it in ages what

does it mean

it means that you’ve lost your way

cameron i okay i thought you were

talking about it means like

for yourself no

sir cameron sir raven or what what

should i call you now sir raven hall

i i primarily just go by the crevasse

you’re just by the crevasse now

okay can you now can we can we remind

our listeners of of what we talked about

last time a bit

well you see it’s a long

story but really

i’m sorry i have a distortion

in in in whatever wavelength

of of trauma i think i’m experiencing as

a result of seeing

11 months it has been about 11 months in

this human experience

of of feeling detached from from

a from a moment that we had a long time

ago where

where we had a call about

about 12 months ago when you and i met

in a kroger and

you started taking my medicine yeah

do you do you remember that i do

remember that i

i we had met in a in in maybe the

parking lot of a kroger or

maybe i was dumping over the like kind

of big thing of like large rubber balls

that

sometimes they have in the toy section

which isn’t really a section because

it’s a kroger it’s more like

one small part of an aisle but anyway we

had met and then you had introduced me

some of your really cool medicine which

sort of changed the way

i thought and the way i did things and

whether or not it could stand up

and whether or not like different noises

made me laugh

things like that yeah

it kind of so i guess i can give a brief

recap for our listeners uh

so basically raven hole which was the

name that you

you were hesitant to give a name not

unlike the artist formerly known as rev

j here

uh and then you described some

vision or something that you had had

while on a drug trip

and you settled i think because you went

into a hole as a raven

you said on the name raven hole uh

yeah and then i think cameron

was attempting to adopt a similar name

as well he was in any case

he was and he no longer

seems to follow the way

wait so you stopped calling you stopped

calling you stopped needing the smiley

emoji

candy and you found this artist formerly

known as rev jay and

i i have to say i i called

because i too went on a wilderness

journey

of the soul and in this journey i met

i met what i believe to be rev jay in

the forest

but i but i cannot say that i’m

i i’m sure

rev j was that you was this

by an old oak tree and

there was a boulder that looked a

little bit like marilyn monroe

yes yes with the skirt it was blowing up

that was it blowing up oh so it doesn’t

it doesn’t look like marilyn monroe’s

face it looks it’s a boulder that looks

like the iconic image of her standing

over a grate in her dress blowing up

that’s what the boulder looks like

that’s very detailed

that’s beautiful super specific

it’s at this point i knew i was standing

in some magical

space where i was about to meet a spirit

from the spirit realm

and it sounds it he had the same

countenance as as the voice that i can

hear right now

oh so so possibly

uh kravos and the artist formerly known

as ref jay you you two may have met

before i think our past may have

crevassed

we we must have because there is no

coincidences in this life and i tell you

what when you take

a whole bag of my medicine

just out of pure desire

to meet a kindred spirit

things happen yeah

yeah i couldn’t put it in better words

sir the crevasse

i i’m really sorry but just just to

clarify here

you’re upset with me because i’m i’m

listening

to the artist formerly known as rev j

rather than you

i can’t say that i’m really upset

it’s part of the distortion of

recognizing that a kindred spirit could

be more inclined

to give mentorship than i and that

distortion

brought me here today brought me to this

call because

i need a formal i i think i need a

diagnosis from dr

london smith i i’ve come here in an

attempt to understand

what what is this distortion that i’m

feeling

okay so this this sounds like something

that’s

not too difficult uh to some extent so

the first thing we do whenever someone

comes to say you know the er

with a complaint of of uh

that’s s i say made the ball

yeah so so whenever they come to the

office or the the

er or whatever um the first thing we

rule out is you know

drugs so

you say that you you ate a bag of your

smiley emoji drugs

which as i recall had a heavy influence

on yourself

and cameron like it was a drug trip

so if you say overdosed

yeah if you took a lot of that substance

then

i would imagine that that that’s

probably the reason for

what you are calling a distortion like

it’s

you’re uh you know you overdosed

potentially you took too much

but but in the context of this

i’m feeling i’m feeling unsure of my

myself knowing that

my former buddy beer hole of raven has

has moved on and i think that i’m

i think that i’m experiencing some type

reactive ripple

in and i can’t i can’t say what i i have

i have no understanding of this space uh

jealousy

can i can i can i defend myself just a

little bit here

yes yes i me sir sir raven hole

sir the crevasse sir i did stop

listening to you so i could follow the

footsteps of the artist formerly known

as rev jay but that was only because i

ran

out of your smiley emoji drugs

and i didn’t know how to refill because

the the subscription form online

is not working

i yeah

i you know i i had to go on another trip

and things got really confusing

um right i forgot a drug trip

uh i i really don’t like the association

with narcotics the whole language around

that you know i

i really think it was more of an

existential extraterrestrial

intertwining of my being so let’s let’s

please keep it

let’s please keep it you know relatively

soft on me because i feel like i’m going

through something

i just need some support and what i

experienced in the forest with rev j

seemed like some form of

like a battle but i i don’t think it was

bad battle like it felt like a big hug

with

around the marilyn monroe tree and i

just want to confirm

like a good like yeah yeah

and and now that we’re here i think the

universe has brought us together

to reconcile this ripple

this this this distortion in my soul

well i i would say maybe we should not

be asking questions to dr

london who as we all know is useless and

doesn’t know what he’s talking about in

terms of

health but maybe you could get some help

from from the artist formerly known as

rev jay here maybe we can all help each

other a little bit i mean

are the nameless nameless specter known

formerly known as rev jay do you have

any words of

of your divine wisdom to give to

the crevasse well i do actually

there’s a it comes to mind a song

an ancient song that was sung

to me when i was in the forest

it might have been during our encounter

possibly but

it’s something like it is the

whole of the raven is the eye of the

crow and i believe i

can’t fly wow

[Applause]

that sounds like a combination of the

song i have the title uh with some

lyrics replaced and then just

i believe i can just do a different so

that’s us i say meet the ball but i

guess

i i mean sure sure sorry sorry i

shouldn’t interrupt oh no that that’s

all i remember actually but

i i think i i know you know this they

sound similar i can see

what you’re talking about but i think

this was something different

okay uh and i mean

yeah the kravos does that did that i

mean did that do anything for you

it it did i i do believe

that we experienced an

interlocking of our spirits around that

song

like like two little imps or elves

like trotting around the tree do you do

you remember when we became

like little fawns marching around the

tree

and then like intermingled into like

the shape of a dove and that dove like

morphed into

a raven that went through the hole yes

and we were i was

the left wing and you were the right

wing

and together we soared round and round

the tree

and around marilyn monroe and

then we we went straight and

we went into a hole upper skirt

well you know i don’t remember where the

hole was but

it was in that grove somewhere

[Music]

it was cameron’s hole i i believe i

i’m speaking kind of prophetically but i

think it was cameron’s fault

that makes a lot of sense

because it started with me and then it

led to you

and now i’m fully accepting that it had

to be this way

it had to be this way

we had to do this

[Music]

it had to be this way

it had

so i just want to take a moment just

just a brief moment to

yeah let our listeners know that

these approaches are not necessarily

like the

the taking uh

uh artificial synthetic

uh well i don’t want to use a term that

you don’t like but um

uh pharmaceutical uh something like say

fun pills

okay fun pills taking those things

and then you know uh

living your life through that like it’s

not necessarily something that i can

endorse

medically like every day

you know having these visions that

anyway i maybe i shouldn’t interrupt

again

uh i know i’ll hold back i’ll hold back

well you know i think some of these

experiences

can be kind of they can be incorporated

into this scientific

framework if approached from a certain

perspective it’s it’s the difference

between

looking through a microscope at uh

amoeba and just just smashing

the petri dish into your eye and trying

to see

yeah both are perfectly like valid ways

to do research yeah but they’re just

different applications of the same

approach

one is applied to your eye one is

applied

to your your third eye

yeah oh exactly wow

so i mean what what what can we do here

to sort of

get everyone on the same page because it

doesn’t sound like

artists formerly known as rev j it

doesn’t sound like you have any

harsh feelings towards the crevasse do

you no

no in fact quite the opposite i feel as

though the crevasse has

changed me and changed me inside you

know

like a fresh pair of clothes that you

wear on the inside

and now wow just from just from meeting

him and then you

singing that song that was to the tune

of eye of the title that’s what

it changed your life i don’t want to

say it didn’t but i don’t i don’t want

to say that it did

okay so you don’t want to say i mean

anything at all

you know sometimes the best words

are

okay so wise yeah wow

that that part i can’t agree with uh

sometimes not speaking is the wisest

thing to say

yes and and and the crevasse i mean what

what are you feeling right now i mean do

you have do you have hard feelings

toward do you have are you any anger or

jealousy toward

the artist formerly known as rev j now

that you remember that you guys shared

this

really special time leroy

jenkins those are the best words to say

well we’ve just discovered that the

artist formerly

known as rev j is leroy jenkins

who the guy in the video was talking

about not the person

who did that in the video

i don’t want to say that you’re wrong

but i don’t want to say that you’re

right

wow and so i mean the crevasse

is that mean anything did that resonate

it it did i i can honestly say i

i came to this forest as a challenger

seeking some understanding of what had

happened

to my buddy beer whole of raven

and you know it’d been so long and i’d

wandered and

stunned so many experiences

to try and understand and reconcile but

honestly now

having faced this truth and having

seen the visions and understood where

mr jenkins is coming from

i i think the only thing that i’m

looking for now is just to understand

where where you’re gonna take him

where are you gonna take him leroy like

where where are you wanting

formerly cameron formerly buddy beer

hole of raven

whatever he is now whatever he perceives

himself as now where do you want him to

where i would want cameron to go from

here is inwardly

yes and by inwardly i also mean

outwardly because as within

so is below and as without

go with forth

that i see me the ball

and i ha i have been trying to go

inwardly but that

i the angle is really difficult

that’s what i’ve been really struggling

with are you talking about

urinating

no i’m just trying to go inward see

you’re always going

on the inside inwardly at the same at

you know at all times

but what also helps is to you can

triangulate your signal with

you have three eyes all right so if you

each one of those

each one of those eyes is directly

connected to your brain

but they all take a different pathway to

get there so if you triangulate those

three pathways you can

you can gain a sort of inner map

of your system and travel

becomes you know now you have your

navigational system

and it’s in check and now you’re clear

for takeoff

wow yeah and so two two of those eyes

are gonna be

connected mostly through the you know

the optic nerves

so and and same with the third but it’s

the psi

optic nerve okay

whoa yeah dr london have you even heard

of that word

i don’t know i don’t think so i anyway i

just i guess i was trying to offer my

little

bit of help for this road map you’re

trying to create so we already have two

of the the signals that you’re

describing so if you want to triangulate

you actually only have to worry about

the one because

the uh the the signals are already

very well mapped in human anatomy for

the two eyes

so the third eye i assume is you know

like you only have to find one thing

yeah now missed mr the crevasse you

you had said that you were worried about

where

the artist formerly known as rev j was

leading me and he said you know inwardly

and then we talked a lot about the

triangulation of my third eye

i mean is that does that make you a

little more comfortable

does that give you some sound minds you

see that maybe i’m i’m in good hands the

the difficulty i have leroy

and cameron is that i

i abide by the experience of

the physical manifestation of my

circular emoji

smiley face i can put that in my mouth i

can put that up my butt

i can know that i’m going to have that

experience

the unknown the unknown of leroy

jenkins approach the inner journey it is

it is

not road mappable and that scares me

that scares me because i have relied so

heavily

on an external and physical

manifestation that has allowed me to

take that journey you remember that

journey cameron it was

it it has a very specific type of path

but at the same time very cold well i

don’t want to keep butting in here

but i can’t help but feel like this is

maybe not as

medically educational as this podcast is

meant to be

well you know well i mean we’re all

doctors here and you know i actually

prefer the term

educational oh

yeah you ever thought about that dr

london uh i

i don’t know or is the concept of

combining education and medicine just

so foreign to you well it’s and you hate

things that are foreign so you’re

it makes you i’d like to take it a step

further and just call it

magical because educational

seems to be trying to blend the magic

and the medicine

and i just like i just like it to be

just magic but you know that’s me

that’s that’s not a bash that’s just

educational

magic you know it’s all the same

well guys you you have to stop fighting

you have to stop fighting over the names

of these things

so let’s have it let’s everyone calm

down it can be both educational

and magical

but one thing we know that it it can’t

be is just

educational like dr london was trying to

say well i was describing

medical education so i just didn’t

combine

words yeah or describe it as magical

either

that yeah that’s true well you know it’s

interesting you say that i was listening

to your podcast

earlier and you were saying some some

facts some numbers

like somewhere between

if you know if you’re a non-smoker

there’s a

35 to 45 chance you’re gonna get lung

cancer anyway so

that’s almost a 50 50 chance of yes

you’re getting lung cancer regardless if

you’re a smoker that’s

it sounded like what the advice i was

hearing

yes no yeah and if you look at the 35

um it also i mean one thing that if you

think about the larger application sort

of on a macro scale

um so you think 35 you think there’s 300

million people

um in the u.s and so you’re talking

about

um you close to 100 million people at

the you know the 35 percent that

which also leads to 65 which would be

the other 200 million people

and i think if you look at those larger

sort of organizations and the situations

if 35 percent of that yeah

um i think will really establish i

wouldn’t be surprised if those are

conservative numbers it’s actually

even higher than we we we avoid uh

politics as much as we can on this show

well i mean

conservative as in oh uh

again i there i go and we just

i know i i see by the time we this

this is the reason i have my

reservations

cameron i’m just saying you know even

even just kind of like going there he

went there

and i again like spiritually i met him

in the forest

we danced around the monroe tree we had

our

vision but at the end of the day where

is the inner

skirt where i i cannot confirm or deny

that but do i really know where that

inner journey is taking you

because if it’s politically leaning it’s

already playing into the system

i’m just gonna say right there just into

the system

where we are trying to get away from but

okay

so what i i have a suggestion here that

hopefully will make everyone

happy what if we do sort of a

joint custody type thing so

what if we do every other weekend

so so the first weekend person to

mentor you yes

so on on the first weekend of the for

the first week in the third weekend of

the month

the crevasse i’m going to follow what

you have for me

whatever your spiritual journey is the

the emoji pills

the uh inwards and outward

and and spiritual floating that you

often take me on

uh in the in the parking lot of that

kroger i want to do that

with you in person i want to see you

the first and third weekend of every

month and then on the second and fourth

weekend of every month artists formerly

known as rev jay

if i could sleep on your couch uh that’d

be great and then

um which i know you don’t have any

possessions but

if i could if if you know of a couch

that i could lay on that’d be great but

then those other two weekends i’ll

your guidance okay now if now

if we could throw in easter and boxing

day

that i could be also your mentor then

we got ourselves a deal oh you have to

be able to give up

two holidays i mean the crevasse are

there are there any specific holidays

you want

i prefer halloween

because okay i didn’t think about

thailand

because yeah there’s lots of bags of

goodies

that are given out because the

combination of beer buddy

and raven hole and what we have

like the the the stories we have to tell

together cameron buddy beer polo

remember remember your beginning i feel

like that’s something that maybe

on halloween could be really special

between us

is sitting around the halloween campfire

and

swapping buddy beer swapping swapping

emoji

emoji pills and catching up you know

that’s right and i mean i am again i’m

not possessive

i completely am okay with the spiritual

like astral projection of leroy

rev j whatever you know he can be there

he can be there with us i just

physically

i i don’t know if i could handle the the

distortion and i’m still

again like physically this is why i

asked

london to give me a diagnosis because

physically

i’m still trying to figure out what is

this distortion

and obviously he tried to throw some

jargon at you because that’s what dr

lyndon does so he said oh you overdosed

and obviously or you’re going through

withdrawals

none of that makes even any a like a

sense in this context at all

but i think we’ve grown a lot today guys

i think we’ve

we’ve we’ve squashed some beef yes uh

and we’ve we’ve put aside our

differences we’ve beefed some squash

nope that i’ll have to fact check we

can’t unfortunately we can’t

say anything on this podcast that’s

inaccurate we do a lot of fact checking

so i will look into um if we

if we beefed some squash but we can we

can establish that later we can edit

that dj dylan can we

edit that out nope okay okay just you

know can we maybe just swap

the two words around so it sounds like i

was saying

you know i was agreeing yes squash

some beef or you could say squash of the

beef or beef of the squash

well well we’re also fact checking here

i should clarify that so the

the 35 percent i was talking about

earlier it’s adenocarcinoma

um makes up around you’re so hung up on

this 35

percent dr london lung cancers it’s

unbelievable it doesn’t

you should definitely not be smoking uh

if you are smoking you should try to

quit and also you know

go to your doctor and um if you if you

desire to quit there are medications

that can help you

to quit uh you know help take away the

the craving um yeah

and so that’s 35 of our listeners go to

the doctor

the other 65 you’re totally fine don’t

worry about it

so 35 of our listeners i believe that’s

one person

so uh whoever you feel that

that should be um go to the doctor the

other two listeners you’re fine

okay um well i i feel like that’s a

pretty good place to uh

kind of wrap things up right

yeah i think so we’ve all i can’t

help but feel like i wasn’t a huge part

of the discussion but maybe that you

needed this time cameron you never

are right okay so um thank you to

uh kravos formerly raven hull for

calling in the

curvature i believe thank you for taking

my extended call

yeah of course um and i do find it odd

that you

you’ve found a way to call in at all

because as far as i know cameron’s

system is

uh i don’t quite understand it but um

also thank you to the artist formerly

known as rev j

now i guess nameless spectre

uh thanks yeah um

thank you to our producer cameron thank

you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

is the hole of the raven

is the eye of

[Music]

it was cameron’s hole i believe it was

cameron’s

home

because it started with me and then it

led to you

and now i’m fully accepting that it had

to be this way

[Music]

i don’t want to say that you’re wrong

but i don’t want to say that you’re

right

my name is dr londonsmith.com and this

has been

the jock dock podcast that’s s

i see me the ball

[Music]

it had to be this way

flower petals surround you and you take

a deep breath

this is bliss

again you deeply inhale and find peace

in this moment fighting the urge to

realize

just how fleeting such a moment is and

that the troubles of this world are

waiting on the other side of those

few precious seconds

you hear yelling in the distance and you

let out a sigh

finally you open your eyes once again

to appreciate the beauty of the

arboretum

and you dropped the machete that you had

used

to rid so many dumb delicate flowers

of their precious petals you mentally

file that perfect moment away because

you are fairly certain

that your really cool flower chopping

moves

although actually it was pretty

impressive

they may also serve to prohibit you from

paying

future visits to this place speaking of

impressive moves

don’t forget to leave a five star review

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London Smith (.com)

All posts by London Smith

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67: Histiocytosis X/Randy grundy (feat. ryan fuhst)

66: Sarcoidosis/Dr. Mark Budro (feat. Matt Naas)

65: Tension pneumothorax/spider facts with billy (feat. Tanja rowland)

64: Spontaneous Pneumothorax/Pylox the elder (ft. stephen reilly)

63: Chylothorax/Frank s. harris

62: Exudative Pleural Effusion/Janet Montgomery & Luna

60. Mesothelioma/Dr. Natasha Mont Blanc

59: Large Cell Carcinoma/Dr. Daaaank

58: Adenocarcinoma/Rev Jay & Raven Hole

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