Hey kids you’re about to listen to a
comedy podcast
that means that none of this is medical
advice
if you need medical advice or medical
care please
contact your doctor welcome to the jock
doc
podcast featuring dr london
smith this one goes out to all the jock
dock fans across the globe
in fact i’ma hit the air horn for every
single fan that we have
that was for you rowdy p yes introducing
your host dr london
smith hello and welcome to the jock doc
podcast
where we discuss fitness and health and
how to incorporate our modern
understanding of science and medicine
into our daily lives but without it
being so boring
i’m your host dr londonsmith.com
i would like to begin by apologizing to
our listeners
we have received some feedback about the
excessive amount of technical medical
terms that i’ve been using
such as autonomic dysregulation and
arm wrestling so i will try to temper my
terminology to a simpler one in the
future
here to help with that is our producer
cameron hi dr london
hey hey you seem you seem kind of perky
today
yeah i’m in a bit of a you you might say
uh
a spicy saucy mood a little bit yeah
is there any particular reason for that
because
maybe i look i know
that christmas isn’t tomorrow or
anything like that but
you know it’s coming like right around
the corner so maybe
i got my favorite doctor a gift
wow okay wow so i
i guess you got it like yesterday or
today like recently
oh no i mean i’ve been playing this for
a while i got my favorite doctor a gift
and to get started all i need is just a
hundred dollar check
uh so so you already got the gift though
well yeah to get started i’ll need the
hundred dollar check
but then what you’re gonna get as a gift
is worth way more than that dr london
i okay so so i feel like you’re asking
me
and this is just what it sounds like to
me at
the onset it sounds like you’re asking
for me to pay for
the gift that you will get for me no i’m
just asking you
for just a simple 300 check just to get
me started
and then just the thing that you’ll get
will end up being wonderful and worth
more than that
just a simple 500 check
okay so and i haven’t noticed the price
increase here
i from 100 to 300 to 500
i so i’m not going to you know like you
have your finances i have mine
and you know it’s okay you don’t have to
get me
oh i combined those so you don’t have to
worry about that
you can buy okay yeah our finances are
debt all of that stuff it’s all it’s all
just like one
blob now so i i gotten i didn’t have
that
oh no i look last time i checked it
looked like you had a ton of debt
was the last time you checked after you
combined yeah oh yeah i combined it
months ago
yeah last time i checked was the other
day when i was doing our builds i
okay well um so that was our producer
cameron uh
also with us is digital in the hose
[Music]
did you do in the house do you love
me yes no i’m really asking do you love
me
because if you do i need to know
where do you keep your money
in a mattress in your sock
where do you keep your money
[Music]
where where do you keep your money
i looked in your mattress let me take
off your shoe let me see your sock
[Music]
do you keep your money
brand new and later cameron tells me
that we can expect a special guest
that’s right dr elena that’s great so
yeah i do look forward to that
uh but before we move on i would like to
address a bit of listener feedback
i found this note crammed into my
fortune cookie
when i ordered takeout last week uh
it was kind of an oddly like it looks
like it’d already been opened and then
someone put a note in
what kind of takeout uh yeah it was
this pizza and so the fortune cookie
that came with my pizza
yeah was uh yeah so so it had this note
in it
because pizza is a chinese invention yes
that’s what they don’t are you are you
sure about that i
and i don’t want to sound like i’m
stereotyping here but i
i thought it was an italian food that
italians claim it as their own and that
is what they’re famous for but it was
actually supposedly look i’m not gonna
claim to be an anthropologist or
anything
it was apparently came from some sort of
chinese dynasty
that was handed to the italians in some
sort of trading thing
i don’t remember exactly but it
works out perfectly because it you’re
now you’re getting fortune cookies with
your pizza
yeah well i’ve always gotten fortune
cookies with my pizza
that’s you know even even whenever i get
like whatever frozen pizza it comes with
a fortune cookie that’s
that’s pizza oh yeah i know i know that
yeah i’m just explaining for our
listeners who maybe live in like a weird
state
i don’t know what foods every state has
i can’t just assume that because we have
you know a typical you know pizza with a
fortune cookie that everyone over in you
know
tennessee has the same sort of same sort
of diet you know
yeah okay no that’s that’s reasonable
and they i don’t know if they have pizza
in tennessee
yeah i uh i they don’t that was why i
picked that place as an example okay
yeah okay so anyway the note in my
fortune cookie reads quote
spencer did you miss your therapy
session this week you
seem a little cranky l-o-l-god bless
xx end quote
so first of all let me thank you so much
to this listener for
reaching out to us via fortune cookie to
answer your question
and it is frustrating to have to repeat
this but
my name is not spencer nope
and maybe that is why i get so
frustrated
uh did i not introduce myself as
londonsmith.com
um yeah but did you tell them that
you’re not spencer
huh it’s because if you don’t say that
it’s like you’re expecting people to
know that but you’re not explicitly
saying that that seems like
maybe unfair expectations that you’re
placing on people dr london
see when you when you give someone your
name
you give someone a fact then it can
they can pretty safely rule out the
other
possible names okay are you telling me
or are you telling the person who wrote
that note
i i think i’m telling you because they
said spencer they’re calling you spencer
yeah so i’m telling
so clearly there was a miscommunication
between you two
and you’re telling me how to talk to
people well
because you took the the author of this
note
you know their side in this situation
i wanted to speak to you and more
broadly to them
and possibly whatever listeners would
think the same
i wanted to explain you know this
misconception so
if someone tells you their name
generally speaking
you can just know that that is their
name
and that their name is not something
else does that make sense
no not at all here let me let me do an
example hi
hello my name is what
my name is who my name is slikkism
shady uh hello there
my name is what my name is who my name
is this is
shady how are you today
that’s good uh what’s my name oh so i
so when i addressed you by the name that
you gave yeah but i didn’t see i didn’t
specify
my name my name isn’t cameron
so you can also safely assume that my
name is cameron and you’d be right
god listen listener spencer
the whoever’s writing dispenser whoever
this may be
i love you i support you thank you for
writing into the show
don’t look us in to dr london’s abusive
behavior
and if you could just send a check for
600 i can get started and you
you will get back probably ten times
that amount
okay uh and i just wanna emphasize like
my name is on the podcast logo like it’s
it’s everywhere
uh and it’s it’s just not spencer it’s
lana smith.com
dr lemonsmith.com but any case um
thank you for listening thank you for
listening i we do appreciate that you
don’t think someone saw
one of your usernames l grant s and
thought that might be oh that’s
yeah dr london grant spencer
the i mean maybe but if they’re
listening to the podcast then all
they’ve
seen like it’s all that they should have
seen by now is
dr londonsmith.com
but what if they’re not a listener to
the podcast what if they were a fan of
your old
zhang from 2004 oh you mean
london who gets all the ladies yeah yeah
i i guess i wouldn’t mind as much if
someone addressed me by that name either
um anyway we can go ahead and move on
from there but uh
i guess you made your you made a point
to some extent
uh so so to that listener thanks for
listening i definitely said a lot of
words and i said them with a lot of
conviction
and that’s basically all i can promise
that anyone will get out of this show
all right uh well now for today’s
medical topic
idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis
so idiopathic means that we do not know
the cause
uh and i remember that by you know
i think of idiot like you just you just
don’t know the cause
so idiopathic um pulmonary fibrosis
is a condition in which the lungs become
fibrosed for no
identifiable reason uh this this is more
common in men
and smokers and it presents with a
gradual onset of progressive
dyspnea which is uh difficulty breathing
and a non-productive cough
when i say i can definitely well no one
cares what you’re about to say
if i can uh i can definitely relate to
this because i
most of the stuff that i have going on
has no uh no apparent reason why it
happened
you know okay it all just sort of like
comes up out of nowhere kind of like
what you’re what you’re talking about
here like so you know my like i’ve been
struck you know i’ve been struggling
with stank foot for a long time now
yeah it’s most of what you talk about
yeah and so i’ve been struggling with
stank foot for a long time but there’s
no reason why that happened there’s no
apparent reason
that that that came up came across you
know what i mean i don’t even wear shoes
yeah so it’s not like it can be from
stinky shoes or something like that
yeah well i think it you know whenever
you suffered that wound and then you
you uh got that mud bath brought it
you know scoop it up from the creek and
then use it for your own personal foot
bath
uh and you put that exposed
you know the skin uh you put that
into there and you let it just
kind of uh just just
get infected that that’s probably the
reason
so again grow and see yes but don’t
worry anytime it
any time it starts to scab i rip that
thing right off so you don’t have to
worry about that
well so so my point there is that that
wouldn’t be idiopathic
because we actually know the cause do
you see
do you see the difference there no i
mean
like there’s no way to know the cause of
like why these
kind of things happen i think you could
say you know i do believe in karma
which a lot of people maybe don’t maybe
kind of think i’m crazy for
and so you know do i think okay you know
did the stink foot
come from that time that like i
i kicked that old witch
when she was trying to sell me goods
yeah
so and i thought okay you know that
would make sense she probably put a
curse on my stu
my stank foot well like i think maybe
the time whenever you
you were chopping wood and then you
and it was the wood just the the wood
paneling
in your house you were just chopping at
it and then you
accidentally hit your foot
and that was the open wound i think that
rather than
you know blaming it well no we just
talked about this i already covered in
mud so i took care of that that’s
not the issue yeah it just
just move on just continue on so um
uh non-productive cough i was saying uh
that’s whenever you don’t
cough anything up like there’s no sputum
production
so this is uh idiopathic pulmonary
fibrosis
is a devastating and unrelenting disease
although prognosis is variable the mean
survival
is only three to seven years after first
diagnosis
so diagnosis is first with x-ray chest
x-ray
revealing a ground glass or honeycomb
appearance or it may actually
appear normal a definitive diagnosis
requires a lung biopsy consistent with
usual interstitial pneumonia for the
cause to be idiopathic of course
you’re gonna have to go and rule out
other causes of pulmonary fibrosis
well and that’s really interesting you
say that like it you know it appears
normal because that
again i can relate to this kind of stuff
again
you you have no idea where this stuff is
coming from everything looks normal and
you don’t know you know this is where
medical
science kind of fails us you know like
for example you know the thing i have
where my mouth fills with blood
just kind of like continuously yeah but
i have
i mean do you have an alternate
because you once again you do keep
and i don’t get it you just keep
deliberately cutting inside of there
and it’s an odd form of self-harm
because you seem
like you don’t like the blood in your
mouth right
i hate it but again i don’t know how it
got there
it’s impossible to know where these
wounds and these diseases really come
from and again
i’m kind of a big believer in karma and
so i like to think
maybe like i want maybe one of the
people that i bit
going out you know throughout my day put
a curse on me like when i bit that witch
i did bite that same witch that i kissed
i’m so i guess now that you bring up the
witch again what made this person a
witch
was it on halloween that this happened
no no no i mean they were just they were
just a witch
she said i’m she said i’m an old witch
oh she said
she was trying to sell me yeah she was
trying to sell me like just some
goods there was like an eye of newt
there was some sort of
vaguely steaming bowl of kind of green
goopy stuff
and you said you i mean you naturally
encountered this person or just
and then i bit during your day yeah it
was just a noise that whole foods
and yeah and then you bit her
yeah huh which is hard because she was
standing you know this is like a buffet
line so
like she’s standing behind where all
like all the soups are
and it’s they’ve got like the sneeze
guard and stuff on it so i have to
really
get under there to get a to go kind of
get to get a chomp
huh okay well um
so so for idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis
no effective treatment is available
the majority of patients and that’s you
know over 70 percent they do not improve
with
therapy and these patients experience uh
progressive
and gradual respiratory failure that
being said
patients may find some benefit in
supplemental oxygen or
lung transplant and you say
you say like about the cutting the
inside of my
mouth that i’m doing it for no reason i
don’t like it
but it’s not for i don’t like it but
it’s not for no
reason it’s to build up a tolerance
because they
right now they get cut so easily when
i’m eating kettle chips
yeah so kettle chips the famously
the hardest and just crispiest and
you know most willing to
cut you chips yes that exist on the
market
they always cut the inside of my mouth
and so here i’m thinking
okay it’s probably like playing guitar
right like you play guitar
and then maybe it kind of hurts a little
bit if you’re playing like an acoustic
guitar but then
your fingers sort of build up a callous
and then it becomes really easy and you
don’t think about it anymore
and so if i can kind of build up some
scar tissue build up some calluses
on the inside of my mouth then these
delicious kettle chips that i
must eat will go down a lot
smoother and so yeah but so i mean again
it’s impossible to know
why my mouth is filling with blood all
the time i have to assume it’s the witch
stuff
and i can really relate to the patients
of your whatever your made-up disease
that you’re talking about or
i can’t remember i’ve been talking about
myself for so long yeah no
yeah you have uh what one one suggestion
i would make
rather than you know cutting the inside
of your mouth
uh which once again that that is a form
of self-harm
maybe just build up the calluses
similar to what you’re describing with
the the guitar uh
they don’t practice with blades
they practice with a guitar so if you
want to practice for those chips
just practice by eating more or just by
eating the chips
but then my mouth is going to be
sensitive and then i won’t be able to
enjoy the chips
so yeah i okay well
i i feel like we’re not gonna are you
done with your left yeah yeah are we
still talking about me
yes but we can we can finish both of
those i would be
happy to finish with both of those now
i’ll allow it okay all right we’ll move
on from there
[Music]
all right cameron do we have a sponsor
today that’s right dr london
but you might be excited to hear that
our sponsor
is actually sort of us
it’s our new merch okay
yes yes that sounds great so i mean i’ve
been telling you about this for a while
and i know you’ve been waiting for
me to finally show you but so i i’ve
been working on
a a jock dock card game
for a while now i i’m sure you’re
familiar with like apples to apples or
cards against humanity
and like games sort of like but ours is
a
the jock dock card game
where people play different you know
okay apples to apples
cards against humanity a person plays
one card
that says uh don’t mind me
i’m just here for some blank and then
someone else places a card that says
like boogers and so then it becomes
don’t mind me i’m just here for some
burgers our game is not that disgusting
and not that crass we don’t really do
that kind of stuff
our game is more like you put down a
card
and then it says dr london was trampled
by
and then someone else puts down a card
that says
oxen or for example here’s another one
dr london swam in the ocean oops
he got dragged down by and then someone
else might put
killer shark this doesn’t sound this
sounds very
specific in a way that well for one
thing
are all the cards about me dying
i guess it just depends because you know
there’s no follow-up with the cards
so like yes you’re dragged under the
water by a shark
but we don’t know the final outcome of
that scenario so who’s to say
you know yes you’re trampled by an oxen
you know by one oxygen by a single oxen
you i don’t know if you get up after
that it’s impossible to know
so here i’m gonna go ahead and play a
card
and it says when dr
london tried to commit suicide he put
blank and blank in his pockets
to weigh him down and then i’ll play
this other card
this one says stones and then
this one says uh a bomb
okay yeah and then so we’re just gonna
we’re and then and then we’re just gonna
attach those and then
isn’t that funny yes i
feel like so i know cards against
humanity especially is known for being
kind of
um kind of having dark humor oh yeah and
this is like
super dark humor so i mean like hey if
you’re lis if you’re squeamish
out there this isn’t the game for you
so it’s it’s dark humor but only
like towards me it sounds like like
people can’t this is the host of the
jock talk podcast these aren’t the
london
cards these are the jock dock podcast
cards
but the the cards do specifically say
dr london it’s not it’s not saying the
jock doc podcast
it’s the post of the dog talk i mean
we’re saying the same thing i guess i i
don’t really understand what the issue
is
if it says podcast or if it says you
know
london smith is getting his skull
crushed in
with an old pan that
had a bunch of bacon grease on it and
because the bacon was crackling some of
it had gotten on the side
so while the pan is cracking his skull
it’s also getting grease all over his
face and so he’s getting a bunch of
pimples
yeah and so so i feel like these are all
very specifically targeted
uh not even to me but at me
and i like so there’s that aspect that
you know i feel like i’m being it’s kind
of attacking towards me
but it’s there’s also the fact that
whoever is playing the game
you know a lot of the appeal of cards
against humanity is
it’ll be about you know some some
lots of other figures or uh
you know different subjects in pop
culture this is
but you’re getting so you’re your
concern is like the
the diversity of subjects because
they’re i mean yes too
it’s not just all about you dr london
okay okay so let me so you can just have
a little
card okay you can pull this card out and
it says
cameron see do you see producer cameron
i see it okay
smashes dr london’s head in
with blank and then we’ve got another
card here it’s the same cardigan so
fortunately it is a pan
that you had been cooking bacon and so
i’ve gotten grease on the side
so the grease gets on dr london’s face
so it gets filled with pimples
yeah so i mean
if it’s our merch if it sells then i
guess okay but it’s it just sounds
very much especially with those
particular cards it sounds like
you’re trying to make it a point that
you are violent towards me which is not
entirely untrue
it’s a game so that which
isn’t true the definition of a game is
that it’s not true
so is it is that the definition of a
game yeah it’s that it’s
it’s a game so how can that be true
here you pull a card okay yeah
so this one says
dr london walks up to the bus and gets
hit by
okay and then this other one okay
another bus
and that one seems that’s odd
uh i i guess it just fits with certain
cars and depends on how you play
well i think the i think the idea is
that the bus you were getting
into was sort of it was it was sort of
pulling out of the bus
lane it was ready to go and you were
like hey stop
so you’re standing in the bus line the
bus is like kind of diagonal kind of
moving out of the bus lane
you’re standing at the bus lane when
another bus of course
is in the bus lane comes to try to stop
and uh runs you over
like and explaining the scenario doesn’t
really help
the problem well i think it’s good
advice
you’re talking about how you know these
cards aren’t help
did you say they’re not helpful because
i think this is teaching people
hey maybe you shouldn’t stand in the bus
lane like even if the bus is pulling
away you need to wait for another bus
still on the sidewalk don’t be standing
in the road
okay so you you see these cars as
cautionary tales for you
with me as the example well no for you
because it sounds like this is what’s
going to happen because you were just
shocked at the idea that something like
this could happen
so it’s i mean now i’m really glad that
we made this game because i don’t know
where you would be without it okay
yeah they are fine um if it
you know if it sells then that’s great
i’m glad that we finally have merch
honestly
uh and that is sort of the motto of this
podcast is
if it sells then we back it yes
and i don’t matter what it is where it
came from who knows about it
who’s paying taxes on it irrelevant
right any case we can um
well i can go ahead and say so it’s the
jock dock podcast
game is that what it’s called card game
the the jock tack podcast card game so
not really hinting and then you want to
say
you want to say the slogan which is
uh yeah um dr london
not so boring yeah no that’s the slogan
for the podcast this looking for the
game
is dr london tried to put on
rocket boots to go to the moon but they
exploded his feet off
and then he bled his brains out through
his stumps
through my foot that’s the slogan on the
box you can see yeah
it i mean to me it seems a little
lengthy but
uh if that’s if that’s what moves the
product i
like it’s not doing harm to me if it
sells
it’s wells okay all right well um
so it’s a jock doc podcast card game
uh and that’s available just on our on
jocktalkpottyhouse.com or no you’re
gonna have to
sort of kind of collect these pieces
from people you know around town
okay like so we’ve left some at like the
butcher
and we’ve left some at like the ice
cream parlor and we’ve left some
with like the priest and we’ve left some
with like the tailor
and you’ve got to kind of go to each one
and kind of put the clues together
uh okay well that sounds difficult but
so
they’ll buy each card from one of them i
mean i guess it just depends on how they
handle the product i don’t know i didn’t
talk with every single one about like
how they’re distributing it
okay all right well you know as long as
we’ll see if we make a pro profit off
this i guess if it sells
you might as well yeah all right so um
all right i guess we can move on from
there then if it sells
noel wells
[Music]
all right uh cameron you said that we
have a special guest today
that’s right dr actually is special the
right word
how would i describe someone who is the
most special guest that we’ve ever had
on this entire show i
i don’t know but maybe just once again i
feel like you say this about a lot of
guests
and i don’t want to you know undersell
certainly
but i also don’t want to over promise uh
okay so how do you want me to introduce
our guest
okay just actually just redo this here
here let’s just redo this
do you want to just redo this okay go
ahead and and say what you just said
uh about uh let’s let’s
introduce the guest accurately is that
yeah no let’s
let’s redo that part okay like the part
the introducing the guest okay
so do it uh so cameron you said that we
have a special guest today is that right
yep that’s right we got a special guest
who’s a big dum-dum because i guess we
hate our guests
and none of them are the most special
guests that we’ve ever had i guess
that’s how we’re treating them
and that’s what we’re saying from now on
so welcome guest i’m so sorry that we
had to call you
these mean names to appeal to dr
london’s sensibilities
i apologize but hello hello
thank you for having me yeah yeah you’re
welcome so
uh my name is dr londonsmith.com and
this is our producer cameron
uh what was your name hi my name is hank
hardbody
leading children’s edutainment icon
okay oh wow wow not you’re not
the hank hard body right yes the hank
hard buddy of squats for tots limited
oh wow i this is incredible
thank you for for being on our show
any time i’m very glad to be invited i’m
i’m so enamored with the joy of
spreading
physical fitness to people of all ages
yeah i’m just
i’m sorry i’ve been quiet i’m just like
because you taught me so much growing up
oh oh i’ve i’ve been through this before
yeah i and i don’t normally like fan out
like this but i’m
uh for listeners i i do you want
no you you explained yourself a little
bit because i’m i’m still
yeah hank can you tell our our listeners
a little
the the i can’t imagine there’s not
anyone who doesn’t know
but if you could just but yeah maybe if
you could just for the for those two
people or whatever
maybe you could just describe living
under a rock for their entire lives
yeah can you just tell our guests a
little bit about you all right i’ll give
them the genesis
picture this seventh grade classroom
1973 some boring medical film playing on
the tv
some doctor telling me what i need to
know about
heart health and cholesterol and i think
to myself
i could snap that man over my knee and
why shouldn’t i
that was the day hank hardbody was born
wow
okay so see
so it i wouldn’t say that tells our
listeners who you are
right now it just sounds like you’re a
man who wanted to assault someone you
saw on tv
in seventh grade is that i mean is that
how you would describe yourself
that event planted a seed in me that i
watered throughout the rest of middle
school and into early high school
and then through the process of getting
my ged
yeah we don’t have to go through every
level of education
um in terms of but i do appreciate it so
you did go through high school but you
still got your ged
well i made it through the first couple
years but then i just couldn’t cope with
school lunches
they were so unhealthy so nutritionally
disbalanced
wouldn’t stand for that and that’s i
mean that’s actually something that you
kind of focus on a lot with a lot of
your work is kind of having a balanced
meal i mean is that what you’re here to
talk about with us
today yes i’m here to promote a new line
of steaming bowls of green goopy stuff
for children okay
and so just to to clarify so what you’re
wearing right now
and you know for our listeners you
always wear this suit could you describe
the suit a little bit for us
yeah i call it my muscle shirt it zips
up in the back and it’s got a full
diagram of all the major muscle groups
pecs biceps tries the other ones
yeah and you you do bring up it zips up
in the back
was it necessary for it to zip so low
the last thing that you want when you’re
in a room full of screeching children is
a wardrobe malfunction that could result
in
liability issues
yeah that’s true but you also made us
zip you up when you came into the studio
today so it does sound like
it seems like you might just have
trouble with it that might be solved by
a shorter zipper i’m just i’m just
throwing out ideas
i don’t want to tell you how to do your
job you’ve obviously been doing this for
a long time
i’m going to be honest with you hank
hard body’s lats are so big he can’t
even turn around completely let alone
reach the zipper on this wow
wow okay that is very true you are i
mean
svelte definitely yeah you’re
monstrously
fit would be that you’re you’re jacked
thank you for noticing but the uh
correct medical term i believe is
shred yes yeah oh
yeah i’m so sorry i’m not a doctor i’m
just a producer so i don’t i don’t know
special words and kind of medical jargon
like that
but i mean could you tell le so uh uh
how about just tell everyone what you do
full time like what what what is your
job what are you known for
today as an adult pass your ged
past any form of college or
post-collegiate
uh classes you might have taken just we
can go back
to the now we can go back to that stuff
but just just to get a baseline for
the the present day so not including any
of the various certification courses
none of that well i mean i’d like to
hear about a few of those
later i spend most of my days on tour
going from elementary school to
elementary school
taking over their hour block for pe and
teaching all of the children of the
world
how to take care and cultivate their
physical form
okay so and that’s why i mean if you see
you see all these kids around who are
just
let’s let’s be honest jacked as hell
and for a while i didn’t really
understand what was going on
until i realized like oh these are kids
who are inspired
by the genius health and fitness
attributes of hank hardbach
because you know sometimes you know i’d
be at toys r us or whatever and i’d see
maybe a four-year-old maybe a
five-year-old or a three-year-old
who had gigantic muscles and he’s
wearing sort of a do-rag
and he’s wearing like a muscle shirt and
i have to think
that doesn’t seem right but then i when
i think of all the people that you’ve
inspired i’m sure you’ve come across a
lot of people who try to imitate you
haven’t you
oh yeah there’s been no shortage of
imitators have to cop
some of the fame that i’ve accrued for
myself
oh wow so when i was describing like
like kids trying to be like you you see
them as
threats sort of people threats trying to
steal your throne
yeah the young will eat the old if you
let them you gotta stay fit that’s true
stay on your game and this this is an
interesting point because
you know uh there’s a childhood obesity
epidemic
and so it’s been an odd thing to see
that’s still there but there’s in
almost oh those kids are fatter those
kids are
way fatter than whenever they took that
statistic but then you’ve got these
other
kids yeah which this is a smaller group
but they seem to be more voided
up and therefore stronger and louder
and you know mr hardbody it seems like
maybe you you’ve encouraged um
this more aggressive behavior
yeah cool ass kids who are jacked to
hell
there’s definitely been some noticeable
stratification my pr people have been
showing me these numbers
as the mean weight of children goes up
we see also the mean muscle mass of your
average 8th grader is increasing
exponentially
we don’t know what this means for
society but someday i hope to see
a utopia of physically fit youngsters
vying for control against each other oh
i was thinking maybe sort of just like
uh
like an army of of young followers of
yours but you’d rather them compete
amongst themselves
for you know resources or power or stuff
like that that’s what it kind of sounds
like
yeah definitely a return to nature motif
sort of running through
throughout my body of work yeah big
like unabomber type of type of type of
stuff going on
is that some kind of horse uh
yeah i mean sort of like it’s kind of
like a horse who had sent
bombs to a bunch of other horses oh dear
so no horse yeah not dear
my mistake yeah so there’s
there’s one thing i i really didn’t
expect this to come up
you know intentionally by
you mr hard body but it seems that we’ve
gone right into it which is that
the controversies because of course we
all looked up to you growing up we all
learned so much about fitness from you
but you know at as you mentioned you’re
hoping for
a society that
it sounds very reminiscent of you know
like the hunger games kind of situation
like
just physical fitness uh to the point
that it’s sort of survival of the
fittest
and but like you really target children
with this stuff and so i’m
i’m wondering if you could speak to some
of the people who have
criticized this mentality
and this this uh campaign that you’ve
been running well in camps he’s been
running
as well i mean there’s summer camps that
sort of function as
a mini version of this utopian idea yeah
kind of like a militia
situation hank hank hard bodies
children’s crossfit camps ltd yes
to my critics i will say as i always
have
that i will have an interview with any
one of them and discuss any of these
hardball
questions that they want to throw at me
if
they subscribe to my program first
because how are you going to criticize
something if you haven’t even tried it i
mean come on
absolutely and you you know what i mean
like if you actually
care about this then you might have to
put
in a little work to criticize you you
know what i mean like
you can’t just go on twitter and say oh
you’re you’re you shouldn’t be doing
these to
doing this to these kids why haven’t my
son contacted me since he went to your
camp
like sign up for the program and then
figure this stuff out on your own right
i will say though about the allegations
of us uh cutting off contact between the
children and parents
we do that specifically to curb the
problem of a spinal issue called
smartphone neck
wherein the children are always looking
down at a 45 at their
tablet or eye device and uh it’s just
necessary for the process you don’t want
to
kink your neck that early on that makes
sense
i mean kids these days on their phones
all the time i mean come on so
this does bring me to another question
very very closely related
so you say come to your camps um to to
you know experience it but you do have
an age limit because once again you are
very specifically targeting children so
and i i’d hate to like if this is news
to you but
a lot of the journalists who have been
concerned and criticizing
they are grown adults they are not you
know they are not children
so is there a method for them to i’d
like to thank you for asking this
question because people aren’t asking me
this question this is an important
question and i’m so glad that you’ve
asked it
because what we really need to be asking
is why aren’t there more child
journalists
and i think it’s because not all of
these kids are subscribed to the program
i mean we’re putting out kids they’re
they’re physical fitness trainers
they’re chiropractors they’re going into
sports medicine
eventually we might get a journalist you
know it’s kind of a kind of a lottery
system
so you’re you’re giving them degrees
like in certification and training we
are not an accredited institution at
this time but we are seeking that option
in future
we can only give uh certificates which
they sign
sometimes in crayon uh
yeah okay and when you say they
you mean because normally is my
understanding that certain
uh certificates aren’t signed by the
recipient they’re signed by
you know the dean and whatever but
you’re saying that i guess
your staff is also composed of children
oh no you have to sign the back of your
degree to endorse it did you not do that
dr london
uh i it doesn’t count you gotta you
gotta
there’s a line on the back of it you
gotta sign that to endorse it before
before you can cash it in essentially
uh but i wanna hear i wanna hear let’s
forget the controversies let’s forget
the haters for a second i want to hear
more about what was it what were you
what product were you talking about
green goop
yeah we have a new line of uh meal prep
once a day supplements called hank
hardbody steaming bowl of green goopy
stuff
okay and is that is that all the details
on it does it have stuff
what is it made of i guess would be well
we’re not at liberty to discuss the
proprietary ingredients but uh feta
cheese definitely plays a strong role in
this you cannot eat it if you are
lactose intolerant
uh i’m gonna go ahead and guess that’s
what’s in you that’s the smell coming
out of your bag right now
is that the goop or is that just a bunch
of feta cheese like
i can’t that’s sort of the feta in the
raw you know i prefer to
to experience it head on i don’t like
masking it in the green goop
okay okay yeah yeah so i mean what you
you know you talk a lot in on your on
your show
and you’re you know when you go around
different schools about
having a balanced diet is this is this
what contributes to this what what
is a balanced diet a balanced diet is
the most important part of getting your
body right
getting your body right is the most
important part of getting your mind
right forget what they teach you in
school there’s no three meals there’s no
pyramids
you’ve ever tried to eat a pyramid it
sucks what you’ve got to do is
that sounds terrible you gotta get this
green goopy stuff don’t even think about
it don’t look close your nose
just absorb it it’s fuel it powers you
and that’s a balanced diet okay
see so you’re saying that the balance is
the entire diet
it’s all you need for the longest time
we were blending boneless skinless
chicken breasts together with cream of
mushroom soup and
we just weren’t getting the same results
that we do with this goopy stuff
and what results are those we’re seeing
a three percent increase in muscle gain
and a two percent decrease in asking
questions
oh wow and i mean that must be
important for holding on to your i mean
your strong
fan base i mean i i’m part of the fan
base dr london’s part of the fan base
yeah i i i was i
and i hate to because you mentioned the
asking questions thing
that’s not normally a statistic that i
you know see associated with
uh you know nutritional diets
asking questions as normally considered
to be a healthy thing
people that’s how you learn a lot of
times uh
and i i i kind of have one of these
questions
for you let me hear it brother yeah
so and and i’m sorry that this may sound
like i’m borrowing the words of some of
these
adult grown adult journalist but
um they have been
there have been rumors at least that
you’re trying to train up
a child army
to i like i these are just
words that i don’t want to throw them
around casually but
just by definition a child army to
forge your new utopia um
and well you know it’s like cameron said
earlier
i do have a strong fan base in fact you
might say
the strongest just by nature of the work
that i do
and i think that intimidates a lot of
these other institutions like the media
or the government and honestly if your
system can be overthrown by an
organized group of physically fit
mentally right
children then what do you really have
anyway
yeah i mean you’ve got a good point like
if
if you’re taken down by a a
large group of incredibly jacked kids
sort of just incurring violence to
whatever’s around
i mean how can you even say that your
country has a military you know what i
mean like if you can’t
put a stop to that it’s all part of the
plan i mean broken bones will heal but
pride
that’s something that can be damaged
forever
yeah well and speaking of which the with
the broken bones thing
because and this is
your your your camps are notoriously
sort of quarantined even before
quarantining was kind of the usual
and uh you know not a lot of word gets
out but the little bit that gets
out uh apparently is about
you know the weapons that you’re
bringing in and could you
could you speak to that because once
again i want i’m looking to dispel
rumors but you do have to address them
you know what i mean
just to to wipe the slate clean so to
speak
and i thank you for giving me the
opportunity to address this because
i mean in every shopping plaza in every
county in america there’s a dojo and
that dojo imports say 17 000 cases of
nunchucks or
throwing stars or bo staffs a year
nobody bats an eye
so i don’t see why it’s such a big deal
when we put in these massive orders for
martial arts weaponry this is always
something interesting that i guess i
never really thought of but
sort of in the same way that you’ve
taught kids how to rethink
health and a diet and exercise you’ve
sort of
rethought the idea of
martial arts weapons like for example a
handgun
a lot of the stuff that you’re buying
are handguns
is that is that right well that’s true
but if you if you’ve seen clearly one of
the uh the movies in our canon the hank
hardbody movie canon
equilibrium you’ll be familiar with the
concept of a gun kata
and for our audience can you can you
describe what that is
well much like a normal kata in martial
arts you it’s a series of practiced
moves and angles you make with your
joints
uh except this time you’re holding a
handgun as well yes
sorry and i should clarify that uh that
is a well-known that’s a christian bail
movie
and uh i you know i’m not
as i wouldn’t say i’m as entrenched in
your teachings
as i used to be just because you aren’t
you know i’m not in school where they’re
coming around so
i mean you did come to my medical school
uh but it seemed like you were surprised
that
there were no children present um but
yes
and and so i did watch the movie at you
know whenever it was a well-known actor
uh and i didn’t i didn’t realize that
this was
so you’re training all of these children
to to use weapons in a very precise way
so that even if
it’s all it’s dark and there’s no one
like they just have heightened
perception and they can take these out
take out all these bad guys uh
i get to what are you getting at i i’m
wondering
is it because you talk about how
governments just feel threatened by you
are you threatening governments or
local authorities much like the ancient
art
of judo we believe at the hank hardbody
limited corporation
in not applying pressure directly if i
exercise a threatening presence on those
around me
that’s no fault of mine i’ve worked hard
to live the kind of life i want to lead
and if that scares the government or
people in line at the grocery store then
i
i don’t know what i can do to help them
other than to try and get them into this
program if they are indeed below the
ages
of 18. well i think to be more specific
a lot of the the questions of whether
you’re not you’re intimidating
governments come from like the videos
and sort of
weird mail that you keep sending to
various governments
sort of saying like i mean the
one the like one that had leaked was one
that you would send to
the government of iceland saying hey can
you
mark off uh six acres for me and my
militia and if you don’t
your body’s gonna look like my body but
like reverse and i guess that meant dead
i didn’t really get it it was a very
confusing message
but i mean what what what is all that
about well that was just a little bit of
a misunderstanding i think some things
got lost in translation when i said i
wanted his body to look like mine but
reverse
i mean that i wanted him to have the
most jacked legs in the universe
and uh sort of a reverse dorito shaped
body as opposed to me
brought at the shoulders narrow with the
legs
and you sent this to the government of
iceland with a message
cut out in magazine letters
and insisting on a plot of land yeah you
know you get a lot of things just by
asking i realize that with showbiz and
if you
if you’re willing to extend that and put
yourself out there you’ll be surprised
what you get back and uh
they didn’t give us six acres but they
gave us one and
that’s really the most important part
and did they oh yeah that’s huge
was there a reason why you said you know
reverse
with muscle wise like why why did you
say that you would like you did you
didn’t want to give him what you had you
wanted to give him
a reverse muscle uh i guess hypertrophy
reverse power yeah because i this is uh
i don’t want to talk about somebody
who’s not in the room but he is
just the biggest fan of field goal
kicking
and okay okay so i knew that if i
couldn’t
if i could make that happen for him he
would be overjoyed
into possibly giving us those additional
five acres okay
so so you had mentioned earlier how
uh it’s not your fault if
people around you are intimidated um
but but you have sort of
sort of expanded generally to like your
camps have swallowed up small towns i
guess is the best way to put that
um so there are there are towns that
are no longer accessible to the public
and i’m wondering if you could speak on
that like even satellites can’t get
photos
inside and i’m just wondering
do you know what is that
your non-threatening presence correct
well you know it’s it’s really
i’m so glad that you brought this up
because it highlights another tragic
aspect of what’s happening in our
country right now
these towns are unable to support
themselves they’re getting no help
the biggest industry in town is our camp
and then
the camp store becomes the only place
where you can buy
certain necessities and so even the
parents have to sort of convert their
regular us dollars into our hank hard
body coins
that they can exchange for goods and
services and
we like to protect our investments and
so when we build that wall around the
entirety of the town and put up the
anti-satellite dish
we we’re really just investing in the
community as a as a whole wow
and you know everyone everyone these
days is so political and they’re
focusing on like
oh what can we do in washington but here
is somebody who actually cares about
the community and actually cares about
giving back
and i mean hank that that is an amazing
story i i appreciate yeah i’ll give you
back i’ll give you arms i’ll give you
chest i’ll give you legs it’s
it’s all for the taking you just have to
seize it yes
yeah that’s that’s great and so once
again i don’t want to be
you know i love that you educate people
and you encourage
fitness um i you know i
once again i i have always kind of
questions about you not only did you
raise the anti-satellite thing but then
you also
you know launched your own satellite
reportedly shot down another satellite
uh and so i just i feel like people are
gonna misconstrue this
as an act of aggression and
uh could you tell you know just our
listeners so they
understand um you know why
why did you take down the satellites
and and well and weaponize your own
satellites i guess is the bigger
question
much like the ancient art of tai chi
i believe in force without aggression
see
that satellite that was one percent r
cannon
in 99 gravity and i think that says
something about the state of satellites
above our nation
um okay well
i honestly i feel like that that’s all
the questions that i
had i want to know what so right now it
sounds like you
and your army of children are really
focused on pushing this green goopy
stuff
but what’s next well
once every house in america has a bowl
of green groupie stuff
and every child spends their summers at
hank hardbody’s
summer crossfit camps i feel like the
next step will be to spread out
to the other nations of the world we’ve
already begun translating my videos into
canadian and spanish so
i look forward to the future and
what’s next and i mean can we
i mean do you have any of the goopy
stuff on you can we
do you think we could test some of that
oh absolutely you’re gonna want to
microwave this for about eight minutes
before you eat it and let it sit for
nine but
not twelve okay so
do we can we could start that
now because we actually do have another
thing we have to do
and i hate that we have to do it but we
do have
good call we have chores to do all right
so let me pop this in
beep beep beep boop beep boop boop
[Music]
so cameron you want to put down that
game and do the microwave real quick
oh yeah let me do that
[Music]
all right uh so that’s okay so yeah
while that’s cooking
we can do you’re talking about the chore
wheel is what you’re talking about and
we have to do
it we i know we got to do it i i’m kind
of okay with it now i’ve come around to
it for our listeners
people who haven’t listened to the show
maybe your new listener maybe even
listened to this in a while
uh basically we had this gigantic pile
of chores that has built up over the
last year this huge to-do list
that we’ve been neglecting i mean let’s
be honest i wasn’t even like vacuuming
or
doing the dishes or any of the stuff i
was supposed to be doing i was kind of
just throwing everything away and i hope
that we get that chore today actually
because it’s
the dishes are pretty bad no i threw
away
all the dishes in the dishwasher and all
that the sink water and all that stuff
it’s just in a
it’s in a bucket on your bed okay well
so i
threw that away so we shouldn’t have to
deal with that any longer
but anyway so we we’ve got all of the
stuff that we got to do on this chore
list and once a week we’re just trying
to
knock something out on the list we spin
the wheel whatever chore it lands on we
have to do it whether we like it or not
dr london or you know what actually dj
dylan
i want to hear how what it sounds like
when you
spin the wheel what an honor yes
here we go
all right we got oh no not this one
oh yeah i know we
i mean it’s honestly a good thing that
we got this one now
yeah no given the timing like it’s we
would have had to get it done
like yeah most of our chores we actually
get done
too late for them to be useful but this
one i believe
yeah i believe we have time you should
be able to get it done in time yeah so
everyone knows that the best streaming
service around is quibby
and quibby has done this sort of genius
moves
where instead of continuing to be a
streaming service
they’re going to pour all those billions
of dollars into one
kick-ass huge ass movie
yes and it’s i mean it’s still on the
the app
so it’s oh yeah you can still only watch
on your phone
but it’s just that’s just what the
quibby app is going to be and only for a
few minutes at a time is
yes oh right you pay 10 a month
still comes with advertisements and it’s
split up in 10 minute increments
and it’s about a four and a half hour
long movie
well that’s what they estimate based on
the screenplay
yeah it could go longer given that you
know i think
the general rule is like one page one
minute but some of the pages
specifically have like 20-minute breaks
in them
it’s a whole thing but regardless here’s
the problem that they’ve run into is
that they’ve been casting this thing
but they just can’t find the people
perfect
for this movie like they reached out to
emma stone
and you know she said no but you know
they were like i didn’t even want her
anyway like we didn’t even we weren’t
even
thinking about her and they were like oh
you know what i emailed jon hamm
and you know he but he’s busy but like i
didn’t even want i couldn’t even picture
john him in that role
so they were saying a lot of stuff so i
was thinking
and also the chore was thinking and also
quibby’s thinking that we the three of
us
might be actually perfect for these
roles but they need an audition tape
first
yeah so uh mr hard body is there any
chance that
you could lend your fame to us on this
one
all right all right you seem like some
good boys so i’ll chip in
perfect yes yes that’s okay okay okay
so uh okay so i mean we’re all it’s
gonna be uh what what
is is there a word for a dial is it a
trial log if
if there’s three people involved yeah so
here the script for the trial log
we’re gonna pass these scripts for the
trial log and i mean
dr london could you read the the title
of this
i mean it’s it’s untitled quibby project
right now yeah in parentheses
the yeah so it’s uh chanky drangle
the horse riding story
shanky trangle yes so where we’ve got
we’ve passed out the scripts we’re just
going to go ahead and read
yes unfortunately we should you know
clarify who’s reading for who so for me
i’m reading for uh miss dunkler
and i i know that’s not conventional
generally like
for you know but but you know we’re
they’re trying to go broad and diverse
with these roles so
as a as a white male i’m going to try to
play this um
this female yeah
and uh mine i mean like it seems like
they wanted a specific actor for this
role but
you know apparently they’re coming to us
for the role so my character is alec
baldwin
oh yeah in as an actor in the movie yes
uh no i did misread it so uh i am
reading for
uh miss property sorry i i
had the part highlighted confused right
right right right
and and and uh mr hard body what who
what character are you are you gonna be
reading for
it it just says horse but
there’s a lot of spoken lines here i’m
this seems like one of those sci-fi
pictures
uh it’s not sci-fi but that is the
mystery of chanky drangle i don’t want
to spoil anything
but uh and it’s gonna be so it’s gonna
be cold read for you
um gonna be kind of brand new but i mean
look mr hard body it is
you know the subtitle the it’s a horse
riding story that’s a caption
so imagine how significant of a rule
so yeah and so let me let me let me uh
open this up to the first page
and it starts with it starts with me
okay yes
uh so i’m i’ll go ahead and read the
stage directions here
uh alec baldwin wakes up from a drunken
stupor
he’s late for the snl rehearsal but he
doesn’t care he’s a huge name
so he just texts lauren from his phone
hey man
i’m gonna be late for the rehearsal but
uh you know i’ll be there for the cold
open or whatever
then he gets a call on the phone
it’s none other than miss
what’s-her-face
hello i’m miss propheton and i’m proper
as ever
hey would you like to go down to the
horse riding range
alec thinks about it for a second he’s
like you know what
i bet like keenan or beck or something
can just
play trump this week i’m kind of tired
of this you know what miss proper 10
i’m down let’s do this who are you again
yeah so i’m the the master horse
trainer for you know uh competitive
reading and writing writing spelled both
ways
writing spelled both ways smash cut two
horse stables
the horse prepares what seems to be a
lengthy speech
oh my god if i have to have another
person
sit on my back and yell at me all day i
am gonna snap
when was the last time they let me ride
around and eat the grass
i’m so sick of oats i could burst
mrs cropperton walks in
oh god wow i’m sorry to interrupt your
lengthy speech
but you got to do your reading lessons
and possibly some riding lessons
if you know what i mean mrs properton
gives the horse a big old kiss right on
the lips
come on man we have a professional
relationship i am not a man
i am miss properton but thank you
so let’s get out the books
miss property could you maybe
hold up the book to one side of my face
instead of putting it down the middle
it’s
real hard for me to see this way
oh i’m sorry i’ll just get a little
closer miss property
baldwin takes off her dress
oh my
it’s mighty hot out today ain’t it
oh oh i’m sorry uh is the gardener
coming in
oh uh it was nothing uh
uh let me um i i had these books for me
anyway this is property and can’t find
her dress so she gets a barrel
with suspenders and she’s wearing that
now that’s her outfit alec baldwin
walks in he’s hammered what are you
doing here again
oh hey what’s up horse good to see you
back at the range
yeah what what am i doing well you were
here
to help me teach horse
how to do some reading and some
writing if you know what i mean all
right here
here’s all you here’s all you need to
know horse in terms of reading
is sometimes the cue card is going to
say some stuff and
lauren’s riding your ass and he’s
telling you you need to stick to the cue
cards and not be fumbling as much
you don’t have to do any of that you’re
doing this as a favor
okay it’s not even like you’re making a
ton of money off of this you were a
movie star
you’re right you’re right i am who am i
taking this flip from
mrs properton well well i never the
horse begins to eat mrs property
that’ll show you next time i want to do
update
and scene wow well there’s one more part
it does say
with the remaining skull the horse curb
stomps mrs proper tim
like in american history x that’s what
this
sorry i guess the stage when i said end
scene i i always say that when my lines
are done
uh which i guess come to think of it
not that helpful no i think
i think that is the end of the scene
well i meant it before the same
directions in any case
um yeah that was that was great uh thank
you mr hard body
yeah thank you mr hardway that was an
amazing i mean just being able to see
you act like that was incredible i i
just seeing a pro do his job and it’s
amazing y’all are real real good to hank
i’m gonna remember this when the time
comes
yeah so one thing when the
when the time for the quibby project
comes oh oh yeah absolutely what a great
mystery i think the horse did it yeah
yeah the the great murder mystery so
one i don’t know if you guys caught in
there but
does does miss property try to
[Music]
you know commit bestiality
i feel like she was trying to come onto
the horse i’m so glad you brought that
up it did not seem appropriate like i’m
not okay with
that like bestialities
it seems weird to me well you knew the
source material i mean you you know that
this is a modern adaptation of the mr
hands viral video
so you knew what this was gonna be yeah
and i i know i had read the script
beforehand
it’s just i guess i wanted to make it
clear to our listeners like
i you know it’s not okay uh
that and that’s we were depicting
something that um
i i can’t really reveal anything because
we got an advanced copy of
aspects of the script but she gets her
comeuppance
i guess is what to convey there oh yeah
she gets curb stomped to hell yeah oh i
guess that wasn’t
yeah i do think that the horse in this
script
would be able to consent i mean he was
giving a huge speech
it seems like a lot of the ethical
issues that usually come with bestiality
are sort of null and void yes
with a a horse taking you know writing
and reading
and with him saying writing so really
that he
it sounded like he was not okay with it
no yeah and you know she found a barrel
with suspenders pretty quickly
but you know this is art this is what
art is is sometimes it challenges your
preconceived notions of society and how
things should function
yeah anyway uh so thank you so much mr
hardly that’s what quibby is now
quibby is chanky drangle the horse
writing story
uh yeah so let’s go ahead and just
submit that
great all right all right um
okay yeah so that’s already submitted uh
i guess i guess it’s time to wrap it up
so
thank you so much yeah uh mr hardbody
hey well
hank mr hardbody is there anything else
that you wanna you wanna close out on i
mean you had mentioned a second ago
about how um you’re gonna you know
because of how nice london and i were
you’re gonna remember that
for the coming times and stuff like that
i mean yeah i
i really appreciate all that you’ve done
for me coming on let me set the record
straight we have been
booted from several other podcasts
attempting to address
these hateful rumors going around about
me and my company
and you know i think that’s really gonna
reflect on your social credit score when
it comes time
for the hankpocalypse huh
okay and is that like a hank apocalypse
is that like a toyota thing
it’s exactly like toyotathon except when
you use ford trucks
okay okay yeah so is there any way for
our um our listeners to to keep up with
you afterwards
or i guess do you have anything to
promote
in any way well you know i’m doing real
well right now but
i am sponsoring a young child from
florida right now
by the name of jaren dooling and what he
would like is for you to go to
daytime delusions on facebook and
and just if you’re feeling the spirit if
you feel it move you
if you enjoyed some hank hardbody you
could give us a follow or
a lock and hit the bell or whatever it
is the kids say
wow and you know it’s important to do
things for the less fortunate
yes the scrawny and weak among us yeah
and that’s great that you’re
you’re doing that for them okay uh all
right well
you know that was uh mr hank hard body
uh my name is dr londonsmith.com and
this is our producer cameron
uh also thank you to digital and the
host
[Music]
my name is
[Music]
yes
[Music]
a balanced diet is the most important
part of getting your body right
getting your body rights the most
important part of getting your mind
forget what they teach you in school
there’s no three meals there’s no
pyramids
you’ve never tried to eat a pyramid it
sucks what you’ve got to do is
you gotta get this green stuff don’t
even think about it don’t look close
your nose
just absorb it
this has been the jock dock podcast
see ya
[Music]
the tire marks end here it has been a
harrowing journey to track it this far
but you hardly had a choice in the
matter you did not trust the authorities
to take care of the theft
so you did not even bother to call them
no no this was an endeavor that you had
to undertake all on your own
as you venture closer to the property
you see that the tire marks stopped just
short of the yard full of lush green
grass and tall trees with overhanging
branches
you stare with disgust at the tire swing
in the yard in front of you
what a sick monster to just up and steal
a
to spoil some loser kids
speaking of brightening someone’s day
don’t forget to leave a five star review
of the jock doc podcast in which you
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