hi kids you’re about to listen to a comedy podcast that means that none of this is medical advice if you need medical advice andmedical care please contact your doctor brought to you by koala cola it tastes just like down under i’mcrampy koala take it away dj dylan welcome to the jock doc podcast featuring dr london smiththe top-rated podcast amongst listeners aged 85 plus grab your hearing aids and let’sget this thing started introducing your host dr london smithhello and welcome to the jock doc podcast where we discuss fitness and health and how to incorporate our modernunderstanding of science and medicine into our daily lives but without it being so boring i’m your host drlondonsmith.com i’d like to begin by apologizing to our listeners we’ve received some feedback about theexcessive amount of technical medical terms that i’ve been using such as elevated 17 hydroxy progesterone levelsand till the cows come home so i’ll try to temper my terminology to a simpler one in the futurehere to help with that is our producer cameron uh dr london can you i mean you didn’t throw out orwait you don’t have any of my notes do you no was i supposed to sowell i mean i would hope that you would prepare for the podcast so usually i’m the one bringing in sortof a medical lesson and uh like i’m i’m usually bringingsort of the i want to say the data the the prepared material for thisand i know for a fact that i left a note on the napkin you were using while you were eating lunch like i knowi left a note on there okay um yeah okay so i thought that that was like aokay so i let me let me think of what it said okay i think i’m wipe my mouth on it iswhat happened so i don’t i don’t know so it all got smeared and so when youread it it you thought it was maybe sort of like a secret code or something which sort of kick-started a funadventure well i think that i just put in listener feedback that’s usually where i put thatsort of oh okay yeah i guess that makes sense well dr london we had a pretty bigdemographic change in our audience that i thought maybe oh i don’t know maybe you would be trying to appeal moreup top yeah okay i mean you know we we’ve discussed in the pastuh for a long time a big part of our audience was cool kids yes you know what i mean like ouraudience was young it started off mostly like college kids slackers likethe kids you want to be your podcast fans then it became sort of younger and younger until it was mostly likefive and six-year-olds who had accidentally turned the podcast onthat those kids all of those kids became influencers and have deemed us uncooloh no okay because they were influencers thought it was cool thus old people started listening to itwhich made us uncool and now our entire entire audience isyou know it’s a range of dr london it’s never just like everyone’s one age but you know it’s a range of people from the85 plus category well you told me in the past that it would all be one age umthat and that is a goal we tried to do that to simplify our marketing because everyone’s trying to like oh howcan we hit these four quadrants whereas we were like okay what if we stop focusing on these various differentage groups and focus more on you know 32 year oldsyeah we could maybe even get more specific 32 year olds named brian yeah okay and i know we did that we hadour brian’s season um yeah and that was that did i don’t know that uh quantifiably idon’t know that it worked but um any case it worked at first until they had their own sort of spin-off podcast and theyunderstood each other a lot better than we did because none of us are named that and that sort of becametheir own little i mean it’s a cult yeah we can just call it a call yeah and i should say um you know we don’tespecially now that we were with yeah our great sponsors koala cola we’re in the qualacola network um we don’tuh we don’t encourage cults directly that’s that’s something that we want to distance ourselves from yeah uhwe we’re really we’re not anti-cult either but we we don’t endorse cultsat this point yeah and even if if we were to it’s not like we would ever endorsecolts as a blanket concept we would maybe endorse hyper-specific ones yes umin any case so uh this is all to say dr london our demographics have changed so we need to change some of the aspects ofour okay okay so what so i mean like well i mean like for an example you knowup top you were saying uh you know this is a medical podcast you you were sort of you know bringing the funbecause you know it used to be sort of like a fun podcast aimed at a young crowd but now it needs to be a lot more seriousit needs to be a lot more restrained okay um maybe you could throw in somemedicine reminders in there reminders of medicine what do you meanjust like it’s time to take your medicine oh okay okay because this is an older demographic that we’re appealing to yes eighty-fiveright now yeah these are the ones that um they’ve okay they’ve been vaccinated for a whileuh they uh have risk of falls they could umheavy heavy like a lot of them will have already had strokes okay okay yeah um yeahokay i could try to i can try to do that um so that was our producer cameron who’s obviously he’s on the ball withthis stuff um speak up you wanna you wanna speak up right right i don’t wanna okayis it is this better is this good i think that’s exactly it dr londonyou wanna turn your hearing aid up well yeah okay so if you’reif you are hearing us at a normal level right now turn your hearing aid up and then thatway it will be at a normal volume okay i think we’re okay okay so ifeveryone did what they’re supposed to do we should be good right now okay just talking at a normal volume nowso i think we’re good ask your granddaughter to help you no now you’re screaming in their earsbecause they just i don’t think they’re i don’t think they did it but you don’t think they did it okay yeah go ahead and ask yourgrandkids just go ahead and call them first and foremost there’s a good chanceyou’re not gonna be able to figure this out on your own so just kind of have them on hold and then you’re gonna go ahead and justuh get them to help you crank that bad boy up and then you’ll then you then you can listen to the showproperly and dj dylan can you make sure that the sounds are a little more old old person friendlytoday yes speaking of which also with us is digital in the houseand now our entire audience is people from the 85 plus category[Music]people from the 85 plus categoryand later cameron tells me we can expect a special guest so look forward to that that’s right dr london all rightremember this um so today is monday so take your monday pills okaybefore we move on i would like to address a bit of listener feedback i received this note from the gutter clutter cutter upper divisionof the koala coil corporation where they work on devices to help clean out those gunkygutters it’s great work and anyway this note comes from a worker who after bringing charges for hisinjuries allegedly acquired by getting caught in the gutter clutter cutter upper prototypehe was persuaded to drop all the charges and be satisfied with just getting this message to us his favorite podcast so the message isquote please just let my family know that i love them end quotefirst of all i’d like to thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the jock talk podcast yeah um that’s powerful yeahto sort of give us that level of responsibility dr london i mean that’s well heavy honestly i mean i would sayyou know to answer their request maybe you know although it can sometimes be hard to say i love youto someone even family well as i’m talking about it it’s the hardest three words to say drlondon yeah i get nervous i haven’t you notice i haven’t even repeated the words yet because i get nervous even talking aboutit yeah i just so so what i’m thinking with this you knowthis listener who obviously loves our podcast um as famous as we are i think thislistener should be the one saying it to their family not us you knowlike i mean but i mean they obviously suffer with the same anxiety that i was just talking about drlondon right um so now i mean what is this is that what we do on this podcast ispunish our listeners well i think because keep in mind most of our listenersif you were to punish them in any way that would be beyond maybe like a light tap they will crumpleto the ground their bones dr london are mostly dust that’s right umuh you’re maybe just uh okay i love youis or your granddaughter loves you is that maybe that’s what they’re wantingokay um i mean you i mean you could probably throw in your own name in there too yeah what youdon’t i’m not i mean i’m i don’t know if i’m readyto say it for me see and this is what i’m talking about doctor i don’t know that i’m glad you finallyhave the empathy to realize that you’re not the only one who gets nervous about saying those three special wordsyeah okay so um anyway to this listener thank you for listeningand uh hope you have a great time working for the koala cola corporation now fortoday’s medical topic hepatitis c hepatitis c is a viral cause of infection and inflammation of theliver it is transferred via sex blood perinatal or parenteral meansand is particularly prevalent in iv drug users but it rarely produces so our a lot ofour listeners have fallen asleep just immediately so if i’m looking at this data propertyokay so just what you want to do is you want to throw in something about maybe like uhdonna’s baby like oh have you seen donna’s new grandchild um he’s so cute but you know don’t tellher but he he he’s not as cute as my little steven or whatever yeah okay so um youknow just something like that or maybe like how it’s okay to like like give a dog an entire mealokay so uh or you could talk about yeah like maybe like how like jc penney’s is so coldthat one okay and that is a complaint that i i also have so that’s that’s pretty good so you could just sort of pepper these thingsin dr london that’d be really really helpful i think it would wake our audience up so let’s let’s jolt them back to life realquick so hepatitis c rarely presents with an acute infection um and you know gertrudei know that it’s nice to uh it’s great to have a physical copy of everything you don’t digital stuff is stupid youdon’t have to do it and it’s actually bad to do to have digital versions of things it doesn’t work half the timeyeah same thing doesn’t work so you could so you can think of it ashepatitis c with c standing for chronic because it doesn’t present as an acute infectionand uh it’s found more as a silent infection on blood tests when or when patients present with cirrhosisof the liver this is why all adults should be tested for hepatitis c regardless of risk factors in order to beable to intervene earlier uh professor stevenson i assume that’s gotta be the name of oneof these guys uh you the that that dog won’t stop yappingyep that neighbor’s dark it won’t stop me yeah maybe maybe like reinforce his idea that thenurses really did steal some of his stuff yeah and that thatnurse joanie really she makes off with all kinds of things that that belong to youand i saw her wearing the other day a really really fancy men’s ringand i’ve got i was just thinking i i don’t know if she can really afford that i’m just sayingso in patients with chronic uh hcv the risk of developing cirrhosis or hepatocellular carcinoma is 10to 25 so it’s important to catch and treat it early uh when you run into general diagnostictests it can show increased direct bilirubin increase ratio of alt to ast on liver function tests and increasealkaline phosphatase the best initial tests for hepatitis c are hepatitis c igm antibody for the acute infection andhepatitis c igg antibody to detect a resolution of infection um and then go ahead and try to appealto the captain if you can yeah okay so the captain yeah uh first of all thank you for yourservice um what you you did great in the war and uhyou know a lot of people don’t recognize that enough and no one recognizes it enough we all knowit well and also maybe like how like boat ownership is maybe the true sign of a manand actually owning a boat and is actually harder than raising kids there’s nothing greater than a man whomeasures his worth in nautical miles ooh that is so true dr london so the pcr isused to measure and detect the viral load of hepatitis c rna which tells the amount of active viral replication pcr is the first thing toimprove with treatment and is the best correlation of treatment failure so pcr viral load is not the right testfor initial diagnosis of these infections but it is the most accurate way to assess the degree of infectivityof the patient in other words it assesses the risk that that patient poses to in transmitting the infectionto their baby to a sex worker to or via needle stickand that that’s like the the risk that i have to assess dr london when i’m at the grocery store and i got to choosebetween the normal grocery line or the self checkout because i if i go to the selfcheckout i’m going to need to call someone over to help me scan every single item dr london because noneof the thing doesn’t make any sense and you’re couponing so is it real am i even really checking myself out at thatpoint if the person has to help me check out every single item one at a time i’d say it doesn’t matter becausethey’re getting paid to do it that’s their job oh yeah they’re gettingnone of us have anywhere to go either yeah so that’s also true yeah and uh and once again you gotyou have your coupons to scan and uh if they don’t help you with that if they don’t go out of their way to help you with that then that’sthem being a bad worker and they should be paid less oh no for sure you every time you’releaving the grocery store you should be calling the store to try to get someone fired i would sayas you’re walking out and if you haven’t chosen someone on your way out you can just sort of like pick one andyou can say i know that guy was shoplifting in the few cases in which acute hepatitis c is detected it should betreated as this will decrease the likelihood of developing a chronic hepatitis c infection uh it should be noted that acutehepatitis c is the only acute hepatitis that is actually treated chronic hepatitis c is treated if thepcr rna viral load is elevated but the goal of treatment is to reduce it to undetectable levels all treatment forhepatitis c is oral uh and for all of you taking exams out there uh if you seevelpatosphere on the exam it treats all genotypes of hepatitis c so probablypick that cure rates exceed 95 to 99 something to remember is that we do nottest based only on risk factors such as injection drug use but we do test all adults for hepatitis canyone with detectable pcr rna viral load needs treatmentand uh yeah sorry there’s uh and also the um they don’t theumbrellas they break so easy yeah now and you know what i mean yeah andthey get broken by the very thing that they’re designed to prevent you know like storms they’re they’re i honestly yeahshould i even be complaining to the umbrella corporations or is it really just everything becausenothing is made to last these days yeah not like in the good old days youknow oh no nothing like that yeah everything was made better before now before now yeahin the past in the better times yeah yeah absolutely my dad used to sayeverything made now is really good quality and that was a long time agoi remember when my grandpa was saying everything is perfect right now yeah everything right now is going sowell if anything changes remember how perfect it is right now all right well uh yeah i think i thinkwe’re gonna move on from there [Music]all right uh cameron you said that we have a guest today is that right that’s right dr london okay uh well hello theremy name is dr londonsmith.com and the sub producer cameron what was your name hello gentlemengentlemen you may recognize me i am a doctor bhfoster yes the world’s first and only chimpanzee doctoryeah i’m i’m a cameron how did you get this like you told me that you’ve just beendigging through dumpsters and that’s how you’ve met the guests lately yeah i mean most of our guestsare fellow uh recyclers and i mean you know i’mi’m gonna be completely honest i didn’t even really realize that our guest was a doctor i just knew him more for i followa lot of monkey influencers oh please i’m a great apeenough about me i’m an okay ape at best you know i’vebeen to the moon uh i have performed uh surgery on conjoined conjoined twins saved theirlives right yes no no i’m i’m an okay best i’m just trying to contribute to our societywell that’s you know i’d say come worry to compare you to other uhuh what what’s the term i don’t want to be you know offense i guess primates can i say that that’s correctyes we’re all primates yeah yeah uh compared to others ofof of your kind you know it’s is that okay oh i okay um you seem exceptionalthank you oh and you too as well that’s why i’ve decided to invest all of my money into this podcast[Applause] that is a much different angle than ourguests usually have that’s great most of our guests are sort of wanting the oppositeand sort of asking for a way to have money funneled out of this podcast sothis is great because of how much funneling has been going on we actually really need some sort of a we need a stream goingthe other direction i should say we need outward funnels yeah or inward funnels rather well i assure you thisfunnel is most inward i i noticed that you changed your demographics to anolder audience a more sophisticated audience and as soon as i heard that i had to come down cameron i knows i was diggingthrough the dumpster at the time but i lost some very important papers and there’s actually a blank checkfor one million dollars and i’m going to present it to you whoa right now here live on the airwhere it was blank yes i just needed to sign my name oh the part that’s blank on this checkis just the signature correct gotcha would would you can you just go ahead and sign that then becauseotherwise it’s not oh you can’t do anything with it absolutely yes you have a penperhaps a uh pencil oh no i’m afraid no i’m fully digital i don’t know if i havelet me see if i have anything that you can use boys huddle with me real quick huddle with me listenif you’re going to appeal to the older audience you need to have pens andparchment paper on that at all times now let’s let’s let’s rewind it let’s go bring it back[Music] uh so so let’s take out our ink wellsokay oh yes you have heremy feather pen here and uh just yeah if you could just right thereokay good and all this money is going to very good use yeahthis is an institution i tell you i mean is is there any catch like are weis there anything we have to do to make sure i mean no strings or whatwhat you sound so happy with it already without it like the check hasn’t cleared so maybe you’re just happy about it yeahregardless but it i don’t know i’m almost nothing we’ve done costsmoney me making a joke apparently and making you laugh that i mean that didn’t cost anything andyou’re saying this is money well spent already i would save money very well spencer listen all you need to do is make surethat this money doesn’t fall into the hands of an evil corporation that’s all i ask yeah oh speaking of uhunrelated um but uh so the koala cola corporation doeshave something that we need to um i don’t want to say oh it’s just this great corporationthey’re they’re we are part of the qualicolo podcast network um they’re great people of course you know koalacola it’s the australian soda the number one soda it’s just light down it tastes just likedown under we’re part of the koala cola network the the the number one podcasting network for aspecific australian soda company brand i fear i’ve been totally mistaken yeah no sowhat i mean what would you be mistaken about you said don’t give it to an evil corporation koala cola is a very generoushelpful corporation that creates world value am i right dr london yeah ohit’s it’s a fantastic corporation i don’t know if you heard in the listener feedback but yes you know one of their workers actuallyis letting us know specifically that they love their family so well and if you think ofthe environment i do so for if you if the if the co if you if you takeall the cola right and if you if so all the cola that the company hasbeen creating if you sort of if if that if if everyoneif if people if people if they do use yes if they choose to drink the colainstead of the natural resources oil companies right right they’re drillingsome yes and so if you focus more on the cola you can see the sort of like larger benefits of umuh you know keeping uh sort of reversing global warming i need to go ahead and just step in real quick so we don’t mean this as a broadyou know defamation against the oil uh drilling you know sub portion of thequalacola corporation like they obviously have their offshore oiling oil drilling things andthat’s that’s great uh we support it i’m just saying but yes there are the evil ones that that dothis yes the ones that don’t do it offshore you know we do that they do it offshore like away fromeveryone you know they’re polite about it whereas these evil corporationsyou know shell etc of course yeah like we’re not i mean you know no hmm all right i seelisten walt whitman said to be a curious and not so judgmental and i take that man’s wordas my own and i am going to uh explore this koala caller corporationpartnership that you two have i trust your judgment you have shown me nothing but generosityhospitality and good medical advice ever since i started listening to this [ __ ] okay okay i was wondering where you werepulling that from so you’re just a long time listener okay oh yes long time listener first time fanokay so not a long time fan but you’re okay but so you’re finally a fan that’s great wewon you over in everything that i do i do 100 and invest all of my money inwhen i went to the moon i gave nass all of my money when they put a child’s brain into mysmall monkey body that child’s parents trusted all their money to that surgery to save their child and now i’ma genius and i have multiple degrees from all of the different colleges from all across the land and ibelieve this is the next great venture that the human race needs and all primates everywhere so you have likea human brain you’re not you’re you’re you don’t have the brain of a of a of an a oh that’s correct yes wheni was a small boy i was dying so they took my brain and put it inside of a chimpanzeeturns out i was also a genius they called me the brainiac bonobo which i thought was very racistokay so that’s the racist one oh yes monkey and bonobo is a bitter it’s not correct i’ma chimpanzee that’s that’s what i was worried about like i i know thati i don’t know enough of you know the different types of uhprimates out there so for me i’m trying to be knowledgeable and you’re flailing heredr london you’re sweating yes sit down take a handkerchiefyeah actually i just need to take a drink of this delicious uh the new banana flavored koala colayeah you can do do you do you want somethingjust toss something keep that away from me keep that away from me will you see mei’m a gentleman i’m a distinguished gentleman yeah i’ve been to harvard jail cambridgeyeah well and also you don’t have the brain of a monkey of the brain of a human yesso you’re really i’m sorry i’ve tried i’ve seen some tornoff my tuxedo that i was wearing yeah i i guess no this is it’sif you were like a human i’d be a little bit more uncomfortable but this is actually kindof okay well it’s it’s sort of an interesting position to be in dr london because heis a monkey so it’s like not that big of a deal that he ripped off a great date he is a chimpanzee so it’snot really you’re coming out he’s very racist cameron it’s not really a big deal if he yeahlike tore his clothes a little bit and wants the banana flavorhere you go here you go you can just you can have as many as you want we have a whole crate of them just go ahead and take so it sounds likeum the the b word is a trigger for him so maybe we can definitely avoid thatbut the issue that i have is that he he said that he has the brains of a human child so this isreally just a kid who’s going what rather than uh what is it like asuper intelligent i thought he said baser instincts are taking over from my monkey body oh no even i’veoh more bass in my ways so your body is now influencing yourhuman brain that’s interesting well i’ve also sh myself you justyou’re kind of holding it like a i don’t know like a stress ball or something yeah i’mso scared yeah i’m i’m a little scared too umdo you want to uh cameron can we side things you might be scared of different things though yeah dr london what’s uh what’s up uh ohyou don’t you don’t realize what’s up for me it’s that so this guy i thinkthe impression i’m getting is that this is there’s an adult brain in there the child brain grew up within thischimpanzee yeah person okay i don’t know what that’s clear okay so um wewe have to say banana i understand it’s not shh okay we are sidebaring this this guywe gotta keep it downthis is not a a chimpanzee who uncontrollably wants a taste ofbanana this is a human banana so much thatit’s really hard whenever he’s literally like swinging from the ceiling the chandelier andeverything now that makes sense because if my brain was in a chimpanzee body i would beswinging everywhere right okay i just um how’s the taili want to know that talk to me about tails damn it cameron listen to me how much chimpanzeei don’t have a tail gentlemen i’ve i’ve i’m so sorry about everything that you just sawhonestly we were kind of busy talking so i wasn’t even i was professional yeah we were good yeah we were kind ofwhispering to ourselves so you know you didn’t hear us right ii i blacked out i i completely blacked out for a moment there oh wow this is like a drinking thingi don’t think i should drink this this uh it’s beverage anymore do you no i meant likeare you like plastered right now oh absolutely yes ohi could tell you didn’t say you’re a harvard professor right correct yes yes yeah so that i guess that makes sensethat’s why i was in the dumpster earlier as well found some gin drink the whole bottle came in and gave you all my money[Laughter] oh so the those were the documents you had lostyou had said earlier you had like lost some papers or something in the trash it was a it was some gin it was the ginand there was that big old check that i gave you that but uh i’m i’m a little wary about this koalacorporation and what they are doing to me directly there’s really nothing to worry about i mean to eachevery can of koala cola that is purchased they purchase a can to give to a realkoala so i mean have you thought about that hmm they could use it to build littlearmored suits so that when they fall out of the eucalyptus trees they’re unharmedi guess that’s i feel like if you’re jacked up on kuala cola they’re probablynot going to fall out of the tree so dr foster i have a question for youyes uh you sound you know with you with youkind of hitting the liquor so hard and you know finding yourself a dumpster coming here giving us your money itsounds like maybe did something happen recently are you going through something boys i ididn’t want to go over this on the air live in front of all of your fans but but then recently ii had a falling out with uh with my wife who’s now the professorat harvard took my job oh i’m so sorry to hear that she alsoapplied to to be the second chimpanzee in spacereplacing my name in history being the first female chimpanzee in spaceyes that wouldn’t really i don’t really think of you know if women accomplishsomething that then erases the accomplishments of the men beforehandthat is sort of a men’s rights attitude that is common um but i i don’tthink historically that’s just really not how people have treated it so i think maybe your concerns are a littlemisguided you’ve become a traitor to me cameron so here’s another question for you umwell i just want to point out that’s just an another men’s rights thing right there is to ifto sort of assume other people are traitors you’re behind it to me right now my only real friendhere is dr londonsmith.com so i’m giving this one million dollars toa true men’s rights activist in the world of chimpanzeesokay uh well before we so you said that your your wife is also chimpanzee does shealso have a the brain of a human or is she she actually has a regular chimpanzee brainand that is why i am so upset because they gave a regular chimpanzee my old joband they’re she’s teaching at harvard she’s teaching at harvard what is she teaching she’s teaching signlanguage in applied economics okay i guess that okay i was gonna saylike you know not not really qualified but that that doesn’t make sense okay well just just so that’s what youwere teaching at harvard amongst many other things they immediately fired me when they hired heradopting what do they call it a grandfathering her into the other programs as a part of astrophysicsastronomics ship sailing fisting for dolphins okayyeah i mean so a lot a lot of these sound like maybe harvard’s night courses which is sort of interesting they were i washarvard’s top night professor they called me the knight ape i wore capes sometimes it was dashingwow is night ape an offensive term for you like the eight part i assume becauseit’s inaccurate i’m sorry and i started to repeat it i just this is one of those things where iuh yeah i’m sorry i’m sweating i’m i’m thinking dr london just you just just you justgotta relax a little bit because the ways your eyes are bugging out right now you just want to put those back inthe socket you just wanna just relax those okay thank you just kind of yeah just there you goturn oh okay well i mean where are we i mean i just ii kind of just want to know like where what’s next like i i mean it sounds like you’ve doneeverything i mean is this everything in your bucket list you’ve gone to space you’ve become a doctor you’ve been a professor i understand that you’rebitter over your wife taking your position but is it bestiality if if you’d have ahuman brain i would say absolutely it is but i’m i am not here tomake that sort of judgment or assessment i don’t know what you’re trying to sayi’m completely chimpanzee on the outside there’s just a lot of thinking going onand to answer your question cameron youi’ve decided to invest in a very lucrative business which is the jock dock podcast experiencewhich i now learned is being also fueled by an evil corporationso i will be taking that check back dr london no nookay maybe there’s a way to solve it i’ve already yeah i’ve alreadyscanned it in it’s gonna it’s gonna charge you a three dollar fee if we cancel it is that okay i want it cancelled i don’tcare what it takes no hold on well let’s not do anything rash because threeyes i’ll lose all three dollars of the all the money that i have in the bankfund that i had set up just for this ha ha wait is this all your moneyit’s it’s everything you have yes it was everything i had one million three dollarsand now it’s just gonna be a million after this so i mean okayhow can we change your mind that about the quality of koala cola that we’re not working we don’t workwith evil corporations doctor we don’t no that’s a policy we have higher standards than that we work with evil peopleindividualsyeah we all know an evil person or two perhaps an evil chimp perhaps an evilex-wife well okay to characterize your ex-wife asas evil like your ex-wife is an animal with an animal brain like it’s notit’s just not appropriate i don’t think to to that’s that’s an animal rights issue at a certain point well also i’m athousand times more impressed by her becoming a teacher and learning how to teach like sign language andeconomics than i am you who just has a human brain you’re just a guyi am not just a guy i perform feats in which you have never seen before cameron he’s holding his poop in such adeath grip right now yeah you’re really squeezing itthat i at least can sort of get it because maybe to him the tactile difference feelsdifferent and it’s you know there’s something appealing to that but yeah you like it’s impressive that you went toharvard in the same way that it’s impressive that every rich kid goes to heart you know how dare you igrew up in the jungles of somalia hunted for my fleshokay but you said that whoever’s parents gave you this brain or whatever alsogave you a ton of money yes the little child’s brain the little child’s parents were rich as [ __ ]that’s why they’re able to afford the operation you’re that little childright you’re an adult and those are your parents it’s called nepotism yeahwhat those those people who gave you all that money what did they do for a livingthey were they were neurosurgeons yeah that’s up were they were theyyes for the president they were neurosurgeons for the president wow it’s all coming togetheryeah well i guess you’re sobering up maybe a little bit at this point and that’s why i gave you all of mymoney because in the medicine that’s going on here the diagnosisthat’s going on i thought you were just saying because yeah the way you use gave your money asa passive that means you have already given the money which means you have not taken it back correct so we we’re just not going to cancel thetransaction we’re good you know just think on it for now or no don’t don’t even think on it we canlet’s focus on it we’re just going to hold it and we’re going to hold it in the company accountokay we’re just going to keep the only people who have access to that account are me and dr london and people who want to spend themoney one of you is a traitor well so the crampy koala also has access toit and koala also has access to it one of you is a traitor the other one’s an evil corporation and the other one is drlondonsmith.com i hate this i’m taking my money back i well againyou use the passive tense so i feel like it’s hard to it’s really hard to undo again you’vegot the three dollar fee and that i mean that’s going to come through me first so then you’re gonna have to vin mommy the threeand so at that point it’s kind of like why you have to find out his info on venmo or i guess like adam as a friend even onvenmo you might even have to call them like customer service just to work this kind of kind of thingout so let’s just go ahead and let’s just go ahead and keep that so i i have another thing so while youthink about it whatever we have some chores to doum well just i feel like i don’t think our guest hereis the type of person who gets his hands dirty that often it sounds like he comes from a very wealthy family thatprobably had some help okay he’s volunteered for a habitat for humanityand he’s literally juggling poop right now i don’t think it’s like yeah that’s true like getting his handsdirty i mean it’s not dirt so you’re right in that regard it is fecal matter but iyeah i feel like it’s pretty it’s pretty bad so um anyways uh yes so we have thisshort uh cameron can you explain it sorry i always get long one yeah uh basically and look i’m not happy toadmit this and start explaining london to sorry remember the the demographics this is probably gonna be reallyimportant here okay okay yeah uh okay so dr london and i havebeen playing bingo a lot lately we’ve been playing it so muchthat we have been unable to do all of the things that we’re supposed to do all of thetasks assigned to us such as clean our dentures accuse thenurse of stealing your stuff these are the things that are on our daily to-do listbut unfortunately because we were playing bingo so much we have been neglected so to counteractthat negligence we created a chore wheel that we put all of our chores on thishuge wheel and every single week we spin that bad boy whatever it lands onthat’s the chore we have to do he said whatever it lands on that’s the chore wehave to do nana yes that and so if you want to if youokay i did not i really i did not mean to rile you up i apologize i was just trying to wake up ouraudience a little bit i said the end of the word i’m sorry i i meant it and you know likepeople call their grandma all kinds of things including the half of the word that triggers youi’m sorry i i i blacked out for a moment well could i know you’re exhausted rightnow but can you maybe use some of that pent-up energy and spin that chore wheel for usgive it a hefty spin but don’t let me forget that you’re a traitor and you owe me one million dollars[Music]oh no not this one why did you have to even suggest that we do our chores drlondon just i like we have so much to deal withand it’s earlier we did mention and i had happened to come up in the wheelum the chore is to start a cult for the mayor oh yeah and so that’s why i wanted todistance ourselves from you know the the cult thing becausesome cults are going to be okay some are not okay in this case the mayor has asked us togo ahead and start a cult for him uh the mayor’s been riding our assso much it’s been on us saying look you’re gonna have to turn in your badgeand your gun unless you get this job done the job of course that he gave us the badge andgun for in the first place was to become sort of his cult securityteam but and also sort of in charge of rounding up the troopsso to speak yeah evangelize yeah that he also i meanit really he wanted us to feel powerful which i did feel a lot more powerful with the badging gun so i was a big man unfortunately ourmayor you know as you have learned if you listen to this show he’s not a super creative guyso he hasn’t been able to figure out like what are the elements of this culthe doesn’t even really have an angle on it he doesn’t have a name or anything so he’s sort of leaving that to us to figure outyeah so um i guess to start off with let’s just think of i guess the name of it or yeah yeah thename that that’s a good place to start for any cult um so dr foster would you mind letting usknow uh i don’t do you have an idea for the name of a cult a good name sure you can call them the uhthe night apes after myself and my glory days of course yeahokay and what if is that and that’s that’s okay to do yes i’m giving you myuh my my badge of honor that’s you are allowed to do thatokay say night tape just not night monkey okay so the night apes uh do youwant do you wanna well i i’m just gonna i’m just gonna say i feel like that’s committing to a demographic that we might not havewhich is champions yeah but i like this knight aspect maybe justuh the the knights of t to go with your upbringing the knights of the jungle and maybe spell it with a kokay all right yeah what what about the knights of the mayor oh that i guessthat is far easier very on the nose oh yeah you think that might be a littlehe does hate obvious things yeah if he if he catches something andunderstands it pretty quickly he gets frustrated yeah but yeah i don’t think that’s too on thenose i don’t i think it’ll take him a while to figure that one out the knights of the mayor so so let’s saywhat about mayor of the night sort of sort of like mary the night like a little bit okay so it’sthe mayor the night cult okay yeah so so what um let’s seewe already have a cult leader in the mayor say whether he wanted us to be the leaders or him to be the leaders he wantedsomeone to be sort of the messiah of the cult righthe said he wanted the cult to be decentralized he talked a lot about the blockchain yeah yeah sort of uhsort of just keeping it in the block chain and sort of keeping it in the cloud sort of keep it decentralized soso sh is the leader gonna be like bitcoin then yeah well i think whoever theleader is and how much power they have is going to like sort of rise and fall based on its valueokay okay that makes sense okay so we’ll we’ll say um so leader is just cryptoyeah ohyeah or maybe just the blockchain the blockchain okay okay yeah sorry dude okay so yeah so it’s the knights of themayor we worship the blockchain okayum do we have clothes i mean what do we wear yeah i feel like it’d be closed souh dr foster do you have any ideas for this how do we how to incorporate that we’re you know weird this blockchainworshiping uh group and who i’m trying to think ofmaybe chains maybe jeans i don’t know what a blockchain isbecause i’m very old as i stated earlier which by the way is great crapand that totally works with our listeners so that is totally great for our audience but i feel like we’recompletely i it’s my fault bringing up the blockchain and all this young person stuff we’re committed now are all of our oldpeople are probably already turned back to perry mason by now okay hold on um social security checkssocial security checks i know what those are though [Laughter] uh so we got them back in so what if thecult is uh social security checks so the that’s that’s sort of the focus nowof the cult we’re pivoting yeah take everyone’s social security checks andsay that you’re investing it into the mayorsomehow or b al although this bitcoin that you’re talking about maybe that is a way to uh establisha dominance over the uh the the species is to take all their socialsecurity checks yes but tell them it’s for their own good yeah we can tell them that we’re yeahinvesting it in the blockchain i mean that’s basically all it is right yeah okay so we got it so yeah i mean is thatso i mean the pieces are at this point it’s the knights the mayor uh we social we worship social securityand the blockchain both medicare you need both partners both right and they work in conjunction witheach other and medicare is also in there too this is medicare so it’s like a hydrayeah exactly yes okay and a clothe that we didn’t pick clothing yeahabsolutely naked ooh for depending on which of our audiencemembers they will love it and they could go either way if our audience members arereally cold is my only oh yes they’re so damn cold so then the chainwearing also would be problematic for that too so so what if you could you get to choose you’re either nakedor you are wearing like skiing outfits okay yeah yeah that sounds greatum is that is there anything else that we really need to cover for that or isthat it maybe maybe like a motto or a school yeah yeah colts have sloganswell so it’s nights of the mayor and um let’s let’s get those checksooh yeah yeah let’s get those checks um but no checks for anyone else yeahthat’s right okay if other people get checks that’s a check that i’m not getting it’s a zero-sum gameyeah yeah let’s not give it to them because that’s taking away because that’s taking away from me and i need it yeahyeah uh well i think we we just about did it so um okay so nowwe do have to destroy the chore wheel uh so this timeuh i’m trying to think of a way to do it dr lynn honestly uh uh dr dr foster therei believe there’s a banana behind the wheel but you’ve gotta break thewheel to find itokay oh sorry i don’t know what came over me i destroyed your precious wheeloh mankind is done has created this devicelet’s get that check is what i’m thinking to pay for that wheel oh yep you’re gonna have to donate thatcheck just to pay for that damn it fine here’s my 1 million dollarscan take that take it you bastard if you want to help get this cultstarted we might need your sort of social security information obviously you’re not old enough tocollect social security yet but uh if you could just give us all your information when you reach thatage we can sort of just funnel that straight into [ __ ] i’m writing it down right nowi’m fine here’s my social security number you bastard traitor you little frog man thatpaper is it’s very difficult to read with how much fecal matter is just spreadall across it and around you have to read around the poop doctor london you’re a traitor as well i’mleaving this place you two are you do have to read around the poop it was nice of you to write around the poopit seems like poop was on the paper beforehand and you wrote around it rather than you know putting poop onpaper that already had writing you’re right i’m standing there for 10 minutes i didn’t know what to wipe it onso i just use this printer paper next to me and then you decided to sort of right aroundyeah it’s already in my hands this does make me wonder about your skill at maintaining sterilefield during surgery uh but i guess probably nobody’s talking about umthat that one word in those situations um all right so i guessthat’s that’s about it for the chore wheel that’s all done uh dr foster is there a way for listenersto follow you or is there anything you’re a fan of that they should hear more about the only respectable podcast aroundthese passes dead waves radio improvised paranormal podcast much higher class than you twotraitors if i still had that one million dollars i would have gave it to themtwo bastards you took it from me and i’m leaving now get out of here okay okay sorry ijust wow i do not like him sober um yeah honestly he was so much more funafter he had had a little yeah but like you know he’s going well he’s going through i wasgonna say he’s going through recovery it sounds like he’s just going through a brief recovery anyway umyeah i would say he’s going through a divorce it sounded like it was maybe a while ago if his wife has been able to like takehis job yeah after the divorce he was saying she’s already his ex bestiality i anywayum anyway so thank you to our guest dr foster uh sorry i guess aboutyour life uh thank you to our producer cameron thank you dude did you build thosei was a small boy i was dying so they took my brain and put it inside of a chimpanzeeturns out i was also a genius they called me the brainiac bonobo which i thought was very racist[Music]i’m taking my money backi’m taking my money back i’m taking my money back i’m taking my money back i’m taking mymoney back i’m taking [Music][Applause] [Music]see ya [Music]

hi kids you’re about to listen to a corporate podcast that means that none of this is medical

voice if you need medical advice and medical care please contact your doctor brought to you by koala cooler

it tastes just like down under i’m krampy koala take it away dj dylan thank you crampy

for that glowing introduction and can i just say it has been absolutely amazing working alongside you

and the whole koala cola team so i just want to say thank you crampy no don’t

talk during my intro even if i specifically address you okay hello

and welcome to the jock doc podcast where we discuss fitness and health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine into our daily lives but without it being so boring i’m your host dr. london smith (.com)

i would like to begin by apologizing to our listeners we’ve received some feedback about the excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using such as dentinogenesis imperfecta and fixin

2. so i will try to temper my terminology to a simpler one in the future here to help with that is our producer

cameron hey dr london how uh how uh

have you not read the emails like i about like sort of the changes that have

been made towards sort of our audience um because you didn’t address it in the top so i just

figured no i well honestly we’ve had so many changes with the uh with the new podcast network coming on so i’m

i’m a little bit it’s kind of all up in the air for me so so which one specifically are you talking about which

oh i’m talking about like how we’ve just contracted with you know i mean i guess this is exciting news so maybe i

should amp it up a little bit but uh the jock talk podcast is now being

piped through the speaker systems of all of the schools all of the educational systems

in london kentucky like like their high schools their elementary

schools yes their universities we i mean i just i found out that there’s this

town in kentucky called london and so you know of course i’m always thinking like how can i help the podcast

and so i mean we’re just talking you know sort of brand synergy here it’s just it’s sort of like

a logical evolution of the show yes and so now every morning our podcast is

going to be piped through the just the whole school every classroom and is that

i mean so so you talk to the i guess the superintendent or the like the whatever principles of the schools you

you made contact and you were like hey we have this educational program for you and well yeah i mean let’s hold on

i met those people when i was applying for a janitor job so i could sort of change out the pa

systems in your in your application to the job

they they gave you access to everything i get maybe you were overqualified and they were like well here’s a tour was

that how it sorry i’m trying to no i know i got the job i i got all the keys dr london have

you ever seen a janitor’s key yeah okay so it’s not just you said apply so you got the job

you hooked it up and so that’s what you’ve been doing the janitorial now so now we have a

built-in dedicated audience dr london this whole thing where it’s like oh this week

we’ve got two listeners oh this week we’ve got three listeners and now automatically we have 127 listeners dr

london but one thing so there is one stipulation about this because i

you know unhooked the actual pa system and hooked up our system we do need to read the school

announcements as part of this show and if we could do that sort of uh

i don’t know authent like uh authentically or uh you know not in like an advertisement way just ease it in

sort of ease it in integrated into the show naturally okay you know okay sure um so okay i have the list

here so i mean like if you want to read what like the lunch menu for today and tomorrow yeah

um and you you may just incorporate that though into yes don’t do it directly you want

it to you want to insert it you want to sprinkle it in okay so we’ll just so i’m going to just

sort of try to move on and then once in a while i’ll chime it i’ll work it in casually

the way that you would normally hear on any given podcast any ads work it in in the way that i would work

in some gravy into my mashed potatoes which is the side in today’s lunch okay yeah and so

okay okay so um that was our producer cameron also with us is digital in the house

cheer practice which usually meets on the football field

we’ll have to meet in the gym today because it’s raining

oh baby it’s raining [Music] it’s raining

which means that band which usually

means

[Music]

himself he said

please be careful with his lab equipment it’s very expensive

and the school doesn’t have it in the budget to replace it right now

and if you were to you know say want some peas and carrots that uh would be on the menu

today yes that wasn’t casual okay um i’ll go i’ll move on for now um and

later i mean like maybe if you like maybe if you call yourself dr

carrot or something okay well i’ll call myself i guess for the next we need the london

thing though because it’s london kentucky oh so can we talk about maybe like uh

like i don’t know like you’re a p head i mean there’s just different ways that we could talk about this and discuss like

maybe incorporating this yeah so um a little smoother

so speaking of mystery meat which is there you go the main dish

for all of this week due to the infection that spread throughout our

local herds um speaking of that

later cameron tells me we can expect a special guest that’s right dr london it’s as special

as the mystery meet which is also replacing all of the drinks this week so you cannot get milk

the milk has been replaced with the mystery meat as well so you get two portions of that if you want

and now seamlessly we’re going to blend into the next section kind of like those mystery meats are blended into a

nice shake to serve as an easy drink before we move on i would like to

address a bit of listener feedback this note comes from the koala cola

employee who won the happiest award for this month while residing in the testing chambers

at the pest control wing of the koala coil corporation so this note reads quote

i’m choking end quote okay okay so first of all thank you so much for reaching

out to us here at the jock talk podcast um and this is what i feel like i mean this is what

our listeners love about us is that like when they’re dealing with these sort of

health issues they can actually reach out and actually expect a response i’m choking you know what i mean we can

actually you know give this person something that’ll help him yeah so um

yeah it’s it’s so great to hear from a fan and so this this fan they’re the happiest worker there so

that’s that’s pretty neat um so you asked a great question to this listener

uh so the universal symbol for choking is to put both hands to your neck uh so the next

time you choke on something which i guess is now you should do that so that everyone around you can see that you’re all

choked up well dr london it if you do that like if you’re in a like a comedy club and you do that

people are gonna think that you’re telling the person on stage that they’re they’re kind of choking right now

like you’re taunting them sort of which would be considered rude so yeah

so rude but then you know it could save their lives if someone was aware they were choking and they

could enter is that i mean is that is that a risk that you would be willing to take

to be that rude to someone i think i think with a life on the line um i

would i would risk some rudeness you know a similar topic can come up with polly

shore is on stage doing one of his classic bits and you start choking on one of the

olives that you were eating because you didn’t realize that they were usually you know sort of decorative you were just kind of downing olives

yeah and not swa not chewing you’re telling me you’re gonna interrupt his set by going oh i’m

choking okay well as opposed to sitting down being polite and waiting till the set is

over well so so one thing that so i wouldn’t one thing about choking is that you

often can’t speak and that’s why you use the hand gestures but so so i wouldn’t even be saying

i’m choking it would just be me silently so i feel like it’s not even silently in

his eyesight that he can see and he’s like oh man am i bombing right now this guy’s over here telling me i’m

choking suddenly you’re making polly sure insecure and you never want to do that dr london

okay yeah i guess i guess that’s one thing to consider that there can be a social ramification for it that i that maybe i didn’t consider okay

um anyway so to this listener thank you for listening now for today’s medical topic also we

could probably let that listener know that for legal reasons the mystery meat

also counts as a vegetable because it was found on the ground yes so because it was it came from the

ground technically legally it does count as a vegetable as well so that is replacing the vegetable

portions you had mentioned carrots and peas earlier i had gotten just a text right now those have been made into mystery meat

that is sliced into the shape of peas and carrots and speaking really fried rice

it’s it’s it’s fried rice so but it’s all mystery meat cut into the different shapes yeah yeah well and speaking of the

dessert being decorative soaps uh now for today’s medical lesson hepatitis a i’m sorry was that was that

good was that the me introducing the is hepatitis a good i don’t know you’re

yeah no never mind i okay um now today’s medical topic hepatitis a

hepatitis a is a viral form of hepatitis that typically causes an acute infection meaning that it has less than six months

of liver inflammation uh or it causes less than six months uh hepatitis a is transmitted via the fecal

oral root and is more prevalent in developing countries so people will typically get it through contaminated food and water

a way to remember this is that hepatitis a is from something you ate does that that make sense

it does make sense and it sort of reminds me that uh billy a needs to go to the principal’s office

immediately um i i that is something that really

needs to happen pretty quickly yeah and that sort of like reminds me i feel like you know like

it’s sort of the same thing yeah in a sense so um like all forms of acute

hepatitis a can present uh clinically with jaundice and dark urine along with fever

weight loss fatigue hepatosplenomegaly and that’s whenever your your liver and spleen are enlarged um

and additionally patients may have nausea vomiting abdominal pain

diagnostic testing includes increased direct bilirubin increased ratio of alt to ast and liver

function tests and increased alkaline phosphatase for hepatitis a the best initial test will be the igm antibody to hepatitis a

and antigen for i should mention if you have any of

these symptoms like that that is not the mystery meat like that you the mystery meat we’ve

already covered it’s a drink it’s a vegetable and it’s a meat so it’s already covering all of your basic food groups

so if you’re having these kind of reactions to or shortly after consuming the mystery

meat it must be from something else maybe the like in the like a mold in the in the

in your on your fan and you’re in your own home yeah not not school not at the school

because the school checks their events and cleans their events every single semester

right okay so um yes as i said so for hepatitis a the best initial test will be the igm antibody to hepatitis a

antigen for acute infection and igg antibody to detect resolution to the infection um in

terms of treatment hepatitis a resolves spontaneously over a few weeks and it’s typically a benign

condition so and that’s something to remember for you know maybe if you do think that you got hepatitis a

from something at the school it’s going to resolve on its own uh yeah

you might still go you should spend you should the nurses office can’t treat this so

when you talk about treatment you should probably say like oh well there’s nothing you can really do or

just something like oh it’s impossible to treat it or something because there’s no way

like that school the school just cannot afford what it takes to yeah yeah okay um yeah i would say

and you know you know realistically probably better to go to like an actual medical facility outside

the school if if you have hepatitis a like i would say go you know get supportive care there i

don’t know if london kentucky has anything like that um i do think they have maybe a carl’s

jr but i’m not exactly sure which should maybe function as the same thing but okay

all right well that’s um that’s about all we have to cover in hepatitis a today but for the um uh yeah so

uh the if you’re looking for the desserts they are in the form of uh decorative they look like desserts

in the cafeteria but they are soap so i would just bear that in mind whenever you go

to take a bite uh yeah and the soap has been replaced by the mystery meat as well the mystery meat

does have sort of antioxidants dr london

okay well i would question it but i guess we should okay uh yeah great um

all right well are we good to move on from there yeah except for now um billy a

if we could get him to leave the principal’s office now he will not leave which has become a huge issue

so billy a please leave the principal’s office go back to class all right

back to you dr london yeah no i think we’re we can go and move on from there [Music]

all right uh cameron you said that we have a special guest today is that right that’s right dr london we have

and i’m not gonna spoil it for you because i know that you do not like spoilers but we definitely have a guest okay i

yeah so so you could have just said yes right um anyway hello there my name is dr

londonsmith.com and the star producer cameron uh what was your name hi i’m pleased to meet you both of you

gentlemen i am a guinea soi guinea okay

well nice to meet you that and you know i hate to kind of point this out but that sounds

uh what’s the appropriate pc term uh a little foreign to me uh it is a french accent okay

i don’t actually speak french i’m not from france but i learned how to do a french accent

and that is what i’ve based my reputation on as being a french accent uh

a chef when they started out okay so so i guess the accent and the name

are both imported that is correct but you are you are not okay

now you you say you’re a chef are the are your or the items you cook are they

french inspired as well or is it just or is it really just the accent that is how it started out

i am a uh i’m a reclaimed food chef um

i was listening uh in the in the green room to your show i was very interested in the hearing

about the mystery meat you were talking about yeah uh i used to

prepare a mystery meat uh recipe and i found out that as a diners they don’t uh they don’t

seem to like this idea of mystery they don’t want their food to be mystery so much uh so i started calling it the

pork i just cause that’s just you know that’s just like this millennial always expecting to know everything

instantly yes yes yes yes exactly you can’t wait a week for a new episode you got to binge

everything all at once yeah you know turn to the back the last page in the book eh

right and there’s just no mystery in life anymore because of it exactly i definitely understand that’s

frustrating yes uh the interesting thing is though that the the kind of cuisine that i do cook as i say it’s reclaimed food you say

it’s reclaimed what is that are you talking about like is this like a farm to table type thing or like

it’s well in a way it’s farm to table to dumpster to my kitchen and then

i i reclaim uh the the uh the best of the food products and uh i

create uh wonderful uh uh wonderful entrees and uh appetizers and desserts and

side dishes i mean that this is it’s very economical and it’s also i mean

helping the earth it sounds like you’re recycling uh to the best of my ability yes uh i

i get the food the and uh the get it to the people and uh the people that eat it

they uh you know i to go back on my idea of being a surprise they don’t know always

where the food came from they are eating but who does right we

if i go to chili’s am i am i asking like where did this beef come from nah exactly i trust that it came from

somewhere exactly which is how i based my entire chain of restaurants on that idea that nobody knows

nor do they really seem to care where the food comes from they say is this farm to table as you ask this

yes they don’t check they just go oh it’s wonderful for

for from farm to table beautiful i love that wow so this isn’t an exclusive reveal on

this show would you say that no one knows about this so is this the first time you’re like talking about it

oh yes yes yes wow that’s great i was going to save it for a bigger show

like like ellen perhaps or jimmy fallon but uh they’ve not called and uh when i found out you

have a large uh uh high school listening audience i figured uh let’s uh let’s let the kids

know yeah i have been impressed at the press about that because i got the email

and i guess i was the last to find out because yeah i’ve i was i saw the billboards on

the way and i was confused by it uh that he’s been cameron you know to

cameron your credit even though you’ve also been working this janitor job you’ve been doing all these other enterprises you’ve

really put the word out and i think it’s great that we have a guest who’s so

we have food waste as such an issue in this country oh it’s huge huge food waste problem in this country

so it’s exciting to see that um you know someone’s taking and you said you have a chain of restaurants i do i do

uh they are uh guinea swag guinea soir uh that is uh the name on the restaurant

um what i do is uh much like uh i do with the food i find restaurants

that have gone out of business and uh until they’re taken over i just

pry open the door i get inside and i just slap my name over whatever the thing is called so it’s uh okay

guinea swaz uh seasons restaurant huh so i can get any swat to go just to

go back to chili’s maybe maybe you’re in an airport and you’re slapping that over a chili’s logo exactly exactly chili’s to go cameron we

are on the same wavelength like since this is all of this it sounds great to me dr london you are

already i can tell about to be like a wet blanket what’s going on yeah so just

um so if you’d if you’re claiming a closed store are you are you purchasing

the the building or renting it uh yeah i am interested in purchasing every

restaurant that i move into i’m interested unfortunately uh most of the people trying to

negotiate uh do not meet my price uh so i move on so when you say meet

your price you don’t you mean like they it’s a low price yeah uh so so what i mean if i may ask

what what kind of price are you talking how much does a restaurant go for these days i guess is what i’m getting at

well to get in and get open and everything else is going to cost you uh you know upwards of uh depending where

in the country half to a million dollars just to uh just to get the keys to the place

yeah and then it’s a difficult an expensive process very expensive very exciting i don’t

know how people do it right so what what do you um what’s what’s your going what do you

pitch to them as the price for it well normally i mean in operation for at least a week before

they show up uh i figured i figure if i can get a crowd in uh they might go hey you know what we’re

not using the building anyway he’s willing to pay a a nominal fee and he’s got a ready-made

audience it will do the community some good he’s taking care of his food waste

problem he’s offering low-cost meals to people and uh unfortunately i found uh

very few actual well they call themselves businessmen uh but uh they don’t understand the

value they just what’s the actual what’s the actual number you said like well i offer you

know a nominal fee what what is that number that you’re offering to them saying hey i’ll give you this every month

well it’s a it’s a sliding scale it depends what i have in my pocket at the time sometimes it’s fifty seven dollars yeah

i offered one gentleman 523 dollars which i was reasonably certain i could

obtain the the sliding scale so it’s like let’s say it’s an xy graph it’s number of things in your

pocket and then amount of money to to give but okay yeah that makes sense again cameron you you

and i are on a wavelength you understand the business you understand how this works

yeah and i’ll admit that cameron handles that a lot of the business side of this podcast so he’s the one who

you know really you know handles a patreon and then funnels a lot of our our money into

the podcast money i mean and also no also my money um into a lot of endeavors yeah

and uh yeah it’s it’s been it’s been a journey i guess so so i guess i’m learning here

we’re all learning i believe right we are all learning at all times for instance i was again i was listening

uh you know off off mike and you were talking about this hepatitis a

and the the symptoms uh which startlingly are very similar to some of

the symptoms my diners have had um maybe it’s going around

you know i’m not exactly sure i am very fastidious with the food that i reclaim um i make

sure that it is cleaned and sanitized and it is of the highest quality

that i can possibly find and uh so i don’t think it’s the food i just thought you can that you can

possibly find in the dumpster in which you’re done the trash can yeah yes yes yes exactly well it’s protected

from the weather you have to you know these things it’s protected from a number of pests because it’s enclosed

oftentimes in a very thick three mil thick plastic bag so you you think that dumpsters are

protected from pests i i guess in my mind they you know roaches are famously they love to they gather in

a lot of places you know like dumpsters and well yeah but maybe he doesn’t consider a roach to be a pest

it’s well i i imagine if they got into the bags and got into the food they would be

regarded as a pest i regard them as guards quite frankly a lot of people will stay out of a

dumpster because there are roaches in there so they open the door and they go ah roaches and they close the door and they

run away so in a way that’s a security system in your favor yeah oh definitely in my

favor and free uh point out i want to hear some of the dishes that you’ve been offering oh

may we uh let’s talk uh entree just last week yeah we made a

delicious hot dog casserole i found this these fine i don’t want to

name the establishment but some discarded uh hot dogs and uh i you know if you get into one of

these restaurant rows and you uh you hit those uh dumpsters boom boom boom one two three

i had the chow mein i had hot dogs i had chicken pot pie uh and

you put those two you put those together and uh you have to get uh you know you have to get a source of heat in order to cook

which is not always uh easy to come by but in this case um i had all of the

ingredients everything fell into place and uh the delicious hot dog casserole uh i i have the recipe

written down here somewhere uh it’s i think it’s on an old receipt but uh you don’t have to you don’t have to reveal your secrets we can we can cut

this out of the podcast but it sounds like you got the hot dogs like all of this food maybe outside of a

mall food court and the hot dogs were in auntie anne’s is that about right

let’s just call that uh cameron the promised land yes i’m sorry speaking of the hot dogs

uh so there is a dog um and it does appear to be rabid in the bathroom and we just want to let

school know that um it’s being handled they have called animal control and it’s all it’s it’s all being taken

care of it’s fine but but do not use the restrooms uh for the next three hours yeah and it’s all the restrooms that is

that is one thing that dr london did not mention is that the dog is very quick and he is going through the

ventilation system to the bathroom so none of them are safe so just hold it

in for the day how did the high school actually get by without this fine service that you are

providing to them uh these health warnings and uh all sorts of uh wonderful tips you’re giving to

people it seems like they needed this for years yeah i mean pr i don’t know probably

like just had some like old person just on there and and just like announce stuff maybe youtube kids love youtube

so maybe that’s just how they were doing it well and you know this does bring up another point we talked about the food food waste and

everything but you know these schools are underfunded and sometimes it takes you know a very

well you know something sponsored by a giant corporation like koala cola uh to come in and you know pitch in a

little bit give the help where we can when it you know where they can’t afford it so yeah i’m i’m happy that we get to

provide the service i think it’s a wonderful thing uh and uh if

they’re looking for a chef by the way uh i could get out there um might take me a couple of weeks or a

month to uh to find a way out but uh would love to land a steady gig working with some you know

some some uh some kids and i love teaching about food and educating the young and

uh giving cooking classes uh i think it could be a wonderful wonderful thing

well they so they don’t really have chefs as much as they have a contraption they have sort of like a

rube goldberg machine where it’s like a ball that you know it it like

turns on the stove and starts cooking the eggs and the mystery meat and then you know it rolls down and then

it you know turns this thing on and it’s the mystery meet again and so on and so forth so they don’t really have a

need for a chef um but it sounds like you’re doing

pretty well i mean what do you i mean how many like customers are are coming in for

for this stuff well it all depends uh you know when the weather is good uh i

try to get some uh some outdoor eateries going uh those are usually easier because even if the restaurant’s

still in business they have to close sometime so i’ll make use of their parking lot and outside dining areas

uh okay so uh i i call it uh you know uh guinea soi after dark uh okay

yeah a sort of european style dinner starts at 10 11 o’clock at night and uh we uh roll things up about three or four

in the morning when the uh the police show up huh so yeah no that’s not

so i was just wondering how much do you charge for your dishes like i know how much you expect to somewhere in the range of what

you expect to pay for you know your place of business but what do you charge your customers

i i charge them top dollar which means whatever the top dollar is they have in their pocket i’ll take that

so if they’re smart they’ll have they’ll put all the ones on the top um usually you get somebody not

not top in value the physical literally top dollar yes yes okay um i was i was trained in the

uh the french foreign legion um and so i have a number of uh skills uh that i can

rely on if somebody gets a little bit uh testy and doesn’t feel like they should pay for the meal uh and then i

will get that top dollar myself out of out of their pocket does that happen does that happen often

you’d be surprised it’s a very common occurrence i’m not sure how how surprised because

it sounds like do do all these people want to like do they say yes i will pay

and then you say well it’s gonna cost you the top like how does this transaction actually work because it sounds like maybe it

comes down to just mugging it sounds like mugging yes i’ve heard this before but no

you have to keep in mind i get the money before they get their food unlike most restaurants where people eat

and then they pay what they do is they come by and they smell the food cooking and it smells

so delicious it doesn’t matter where it came from cooking food always smells delicious in

fact here’s a secret for you if you want to cook for uh say you have a date or your wife or whatever

you just get a frying pan going and you heat it up a bit you get a little oil and a little chopped onion and garlic in

there and soon the house smells so good you so far have not put anything in the pan that anyone’s going to eat it’s just

the smell you get the smell going so people come in and they say oh what are you serving i say

oh here’s the board and i showed them the chalkboard with the specials of the night and there and this

sounds wonderful i said well sit down and and have some it’s it’s how much you got on you and

they laugh like it’s a joke i said no no seriously how much you got on you and they’ll say oh i got 20 that’s fine

you get the special you get the house special and they’ll they pay up the money i sometimes they don’t but

usually it’s uh you know cash first and then then they can eat so so the moment they say how much they

have that to you is that’s when the sale is done yeah that’s your money now exactly

exactly uh you gentlemen uh you understand this uh this business very i’m surprised the two

of you do not have a restaurant because uh this is the way it works the fact that somehow things have gotten terribly

turned around where you have to do all the cooking and get the food all ready and then at the end they pay you well what if they don’t

like it or what if they they run away and you don’t have the they have the money so we actually this is we mentioned this

not that long ago on the show i think that the this podcast actually started out as a

restaurant this was back in it it was called the jock talk podcast but this was in the 90s so no one

like the word podcast didn’t have the same meaning as it does today um and then it’s sort of over time

evolved into this show so we i mean we do have a little uh understanding of the

restaurant industry which sort of this is i i actually have a question about that the i’m i’m a little confused about the

logistics so like where you’re talking about oh i’ve got this frying pan

hey is that equipment also reclaimed like is that is that stuff you find and b

where is the heat source for you know these this like outdoor uh you know a patio takeover that you’re

doing i can kind of get it when you’re breaking into a chili’s because you can just use their equipment of course

of course but when we’re talking about just like outside and everything and you’re showing up with hot food how is that food being heated

well again you you have to uh you have to understand how to use what the what you have around

you all of life can be reclaimed uh you get the top off of a carburetor from under one car hood that becomes

your frying pan you get you managed to uh to hot wire a car that becomes your oven you get this the

hood up and you get the heat going in there yeah and uh pretty soon you have an entire kitchen layout

right right next to the parking lot that does sound easy like i guess you know for me you

know i’m i’m pretty simple i know a toaster oven and a regular oven a stove that’s kind of what i think of

but i guess if you if you have a car it’s well i guess that

given the your your source of income and how much income it sounds like you make do you have a car

or is that also a part of it is this it is reclaimed okay it is reclaimed i

mean there are always cars around oh dr london when he said he was hot wiring a

car you you thought he might have been hot wiring his own car well yeah if you lock your keys

you know inside your car if you do lock your keys in your car by the way i can help you i’ve had much

experience opening a locked car so you so you you locked your keys in your car and

your solution is to start the engine that’s what you’re trying to do that’s what that’s what hot wiring is dr london yeah

okay so or maybe you lose your keys i guess not lock your keys inside but also i mean

it sounds like just if you have any car trouble at all then uh you know our guest uh genius really

the one to go to for this um yeah if you have car trouble not that that’s your main thing

that is very true it’s a side gem it’s a side jam for me yeah but okay so you but you’re i guess

you’re passionate you’re far more passionate about cooking whereas the i mean it sounds like you’re

passionate about reclaiming in general does that does does that apply not just

to you know like physical objects that you find i mean is that is that sort of like a way of life to

you yes i imagine that that it really is uh when you come to think of it the the

food is just the sort of the expression of the reclamation where i can share with

others but the art my entire life has been this idea of reclaiming

reclaiming reclaiming lost youth reclaiming information reclaiming things that that

have gone astray whether for me or for someone else and that sort of manifests itself

in you know a hot dog casserole wow what about what about what about

dessert sorry dr london i gotta hear about dessert that’s fair well if the

hot dog casserole doesn’t move that becomes dessert uh but of course people are looking they

have a sweet tooth of course so they want something nice something sweet and

this is harder to reclaim you might be surprised but not a lot of people throw the desserts away

yeah they’re entrees they’re side dishes they don’t finish those but everyone seems to want to finish dessert

so those are a little harder to come by but again it’s just keeping one’s eyes open being

clever and figuring out well what could i make sweet that normally is not sweet a bit

of sugar bit of maple syrup packets from a restaurant

uh okay because you’re putting that on a hot dog probably could be hot dog uh hot dog

heel of bread people don’t eat the heels of bread right so you make that exactly you put that under a broiler for

uh just a few minutes a bit of maple syrup a bit of chocolate syrup some sprinkles and uh wonderful

well you tell people it’s a torch you know what this makes me think of is that like how how lobsters used to be

considered gross right like oh they’re bottom feeders whatever now they’re they’ve sort of been

changed into a delicacy you’re talking about heels of bread oh people just toss that away you’ve sort of rebranded it and

reclaimed it and say no this is a meal this is the spotlight so we’re going to cover it in maple

syrup and some sugar and some hot dogs exactly it’s the way society works painter’s clothing used to be just oh

something a janitor wears and then all of a sudden uh you know music people would start wearing those

kinds of clothes he became very popular baggy pants and whatnot and so it all goes around and you just have to

kind of keep your eye open and let people know this is special what i have made for you right here tonight no one else has ever made this

no one else has ever eaten this so tonight between you and me this is special how much you got in your

pocket and then at that point have you had anyone you know you you do your i guess you can

call it a negotiation uh where they they tell you how much they have and then you

uh sometimes forcefully remove that amount of money from their pocket um do you ever like

find that they are not as hungry after that experience like maybe that because

if they’re if they’re beaten pretty badly and i imagine that their appetite might leave them

uh that’s a good point and again this is where the training comes in from the french foreign legion if i don’t hit

them in the mouth or in the esophagus or any of the elements that lead to the digestive system a pretty good bet if they came in

hungry they’re going to go out hungry okay because because yeah i guess the base everything but i’m i’m thinking of

the abdomen i’m i’m wondering i feel like you just are going to run out of places to hit because the legs and the arms i guess

are what whatever fair game fair game legs arms back of the head

right okay so i guess i mean you know you’re obviously an expert in this so it’s hard to um

you know but these are the things that i think of like if i was beaten up in the for a transaction like

that then uh i don’t but i guess but you always see you have the experience in the field so

i will admit sometimes they’re not as hungry as when they thought they were yeah but uh

by the end by the end it’s such a tussle they just figure i’ll just get this to go

well and i i imagine they also the way they’re phrasing it they might not have been interested in food at

all like except out of a curiosity like oh what are you cooking and then you say actually yes you’d be

surprised how much just that curiosity factor leads people to decide yes they are hungry yes they

are yeah or at least they they are going to be holding food

and i will tell you even no matter how badly somebody has been uh beaten as you put it uh i always make

sure that when they leave uh this is something i learned uh in the month and a half that i was at the

sorbonne i know how to make one of those uh aluminum foil swans that you put the

thing okay the leftovers in and whenever you leave that with someone when they go they

always leave happy and those are those are also reclaimed

the foil you use okay yeah of course they they have layers of a past meal

i do what i can to clean uh any of the materials that i use as best i can given the given the materials at

hand uh that i have i i don’t think i’ve ever are you cleaning it with other stuff

that you found well water yes um

i guess that’s valid cleaning goods soaps

things such as that but i’ve never left anyone go with a dirty swan

are you folding the swans yourselves or you reclaim them pre-folded oh no no that is this the the skill that

i picked up and uh wow your art coming through again

always always well i feel like i i just

you know i want to i want to keep going i want to learn more but i also we have these chores to do

i just it’s just that you know like we’re just running out of time and well i can come back another time when

uh well no i mean if if you wouldn’t mind helping us out with these chores

yeah that would be fantastic you sound like a really i mean you’re you’re a person who finds a solution

no matter what limitations you have and you aren’t scared of garbage also which that’s also huge for

us very big for us no no garbage if people just realize this garbage is your friend

what’s the hardest food to reclaim uh soups soups are difficult that’s

gotta be a pain soups are hard i won’t lie to you a cream soup a little bit

easier but uh broth forget about it yeah but can you do it is it is it a lot of

like it’s a lot of just kind of wringing out whatever you find that it may be soaked in well if you know the old story of the

stone soup story you know where somebody uh has uh comes into you of course yes

yes it’s just like that you just go around you say hey i got this soup i’m making and you know what you look like someone who

probably has a great recipe from your grandmother you’d like to add something to this uh people buy it you know and pretty

soon you’ve got a good good kettle of soup going but i it’s that is a tough road to hoe i’m not going to lie to you it is very

difficult people buy it or the people who are asking hey what are you cooking on that car radiator happen to have

money yes the radiator the radiator actually is where you actually cook the soup is in the radiator so

you you cook your your in a reclaimed car your steaks on the on the top of the

engine but uh your soups and your other your gravies uh you do that inside the radiator

because it’s getting stirred and mixed and done uh you’ve got to find a fine

texture which is what you’re looking for in a good soup have you ever had someone walk back over

and say hey that’s my car well you’re i have oh

that’s got to be tough it’s tough but when they find out their meal is on the house

i usually get away with it really the people will the people are fine with

losing their vehicle as long as they get a good meal from it they reclaim it

they reclaim it after i’m done and they end up with a free meal the reason i ask is because if you’re

cooking within the radiator i imagine that some of the functionality of the car might be gone

but you say are they okay with it in the same way that all of your customers are okay with

paying for their meals by the time they realize the car has some problems

i am not nowhere around yeah i already moved on i’m on to on to my next

restaurant yeah or your next reclaimed car yeah yeah you found a closed down

bennigan’s that hasn’t been touched since the mid 90s that one you uh set up shop oh that would be heaven oh

do you know of one oh i mean uh don’t give them away

you love your bennigan’s you don’t want to give them to know about my secret binnigans oh yeah yeah it’s in uh cleveland ohio

oh i know that mannequins i know okay then perfect i know that place i didn’t know it was out of business but uh now at least i

can set my sights on my next travel yeah i mean it might have gone back into

business in the last you know the last year has been really good for a lot of people so

maybe it it went back into business so i i couldn’t say but in any case it’s worth a trip to

ohio this time of year anyway yeah yeah that’s right worth the trip just to check if it’s

closed down um ohio’s famous spring

i love ohio in the spring people talk about paris but i must tell you ohio in the spring

ooh columbus cincinnati beautiful well you know i hate to bring

both of you up to this but it is actually summer at this point we’ve i know we’ve been so busy with our

work but it is summer right now that’s oh even better yeah ohio when it’s muggy

that’s free gravy is what that is my friend yeah when it gets muggy like that um wonderful but in any case um

we like i’m sorry but we do have to get these chores done uh you want to explain yeah yeah real quick

uh yeah so basically and look i’m not proud of this but me and dr london have been ignoring our chores

our of the tasks that we’re supposed to do around the house and clean and you know we haven’t been wiping down any of the tables or

bookshelves but we haven’t fed any of our friends for weeks at this point

all the stuff that we’re supposed to be doing like every day we weren’t really doing it so whining

loudly about it like we’re supposed to feed them like i get it but like get off my back too they’re like where am i why can’t i

see anything and it’s like this i have so much on my plate already but regardless we created this really

fun chore wheel so we put all of our chores everything on our to-do list on this wheel every week

we spin it whatever it lands on no matter what we have to do it and dr london even if

that means cleaning your socks and i know you hate that that’s your least favorite chore well it’s just it it takes a full team

to do it and yeah and like it’s so long because like it takes you know

multiple days which i think is yeah you got to do it i’m i i only if it lands on it

only if it lands on you you don’t have to do it ours we never land on that yet yeah all right genie sua um would you mind

going up and giving the wheel a spin for us no happy too happy to uh all right uh clockwise or

counterclockwise ooh i don’t have this question ever been asked that that is interesting

okay uh i mean i kind of want to say dealer’s choice and then we can sort of psychoanalyze his decision

yeah okay okay that’s i will go i will go witherships then as they say in the cooking business i

will go uh counterclockwise wow so he sort of counter culture this i

mean this really ties in with who he is right like he’s subversive he’s not

going with the flow he’s going against the grain yeah it’s i i

and i’m wondering and i’m trying to think back to all the other guests and how they spawn it and what does that mean

yeah now they’re all losers i think of every single guest that we’ve had and they’re all i mean conformist losers yes

well it’s they probably have never been to a good meal before good reclaimed yeah wow

all right well let’s get that spin going [Music]

oh no not this one oh no okay um do you want to read it off if

you don’t me too um yeah i mean i’ll go ahead and read it off okay

oh gosh i don’t want to have to do this all right uh so we have to come up

with movies based on their title so let me explain this dude

i can’t believe we have to do this dr london so basically well our studio i should clarify one of

the reasons why we have to do this is like our permit is very like it’s it’s a tenuous permit like he

he won’t let us keep it if we fail to follow any of his commands like we have to obey him in order to

keep doing this podcast so that sounds very draconian that he yeah yeah but please don’t say

it too loudly because he could hear um and so the mayor is starting this movie studio and he came up with in his

spare time a bunch of movie titles like that that’s kind of his contribution he’s like i’m gonna put all

this money for towards this movie studio but the only thing he’s like i’m more of an ideas guy

but an idea to him is just a title that he comes up with and so he’s sort of given the task to us

to figure out actually what the movie is going to be so this is what we got to do so i mean

dr lynn do you want to read one of the movie titles that he’s written down yeah yeah so this this first one here is

um it’s just called porcelain fog ooh so what is what is porcelain

so like what i think of off the bat is um i think of a toilet i think of

toilet too yeah toilet too yes and then the fog i guess only because the porcelain part

i wouldn’t have gone this way but then i think fog i think of yeah passing some gas like it smells yeah

sure bad afterwards so i guess this would have to be like a comedy s stinky um

oh like yeah the the sub genre of comedy stinky movies yeah that’s right yeah perhaps a uh

perhaps a rom-com with uh also someone who will not to pass gas

in front of their uh significant other yes only in the bathroom yes yes yes see i

have maybe a play on words here a little bit with uh you know fog something that’s really in

right now is movies about alzheimer’s so maybe if in this rom-com one of the

persons was getting dementia over time while also you know dealing with the

the uh gas aspect doesn’t when doesn’t know who’s he who smelled it

dealt it unless they didn’t remember stealing it that is the tagline that is the tagline

it’s on the poster word for word i mean do i think we have that solved do we want to cast it real quick

all right dame judy dench okay we got a judy dench in the main role and

uh let’s just get timothy chalamet in there oh that’s true yeah he’s hot right now

you know yeah and i think they’d work well together it’s a good team up yeah okay genie sua

would you want to read the next one uh yes yes yes absolutely um it is um

oh interesting a turtle named frank okay okay

so i mean i can tell you sorry you go ahead the first question i

have is just are we talking about a literal turtle or are we talking about someone who

maybe needs to come out of his shell uh or both or yeah a turtle who is stuck

inside of his shell see so the first thing i thought of just so that this is also on our minds

is that the dr seuss book where uh these you’re the turtle but all the

turtles are stuck and it i think was a metaphor for the uh for hitler in germany or maybe or um

yeah so so this is a this is a reboot okay reboot of your little turtle called

a turtle named frank wow and it sort of has yeah it has almost like more of a

serious title to it like you know yertle the turtle is a kind of funny but this is a turtle named

frank so maybe it’s more of yeah a dramedy maybe adam mckay sort of approach to uh

are we gonna we’re gonna keep the heavy like world war ii metaphors in there then yes yeah or do we make it more about uh

the uh uh the middle east uh afghanistan oh yeah because it’s modernized yeah

yeah modernize it yeah and that that should be easy to make a very clear message too so yeah uh because everyone’s in

agreement on what’s going on and how to solve it very quickly very clear-cut

yeah okay so we’ll just have i mean maybe we’ll have frank join the military

like maybe shortly after 9 11 or something like that and then maybe that could be the starting point of this story

great and let’s yeah i was gonna let’s not say any more on it only because our podcast doesn’t really get political

but this is of course a movie that will comment a lot on it but that will be done in the screenwriting and in the release

whenever we um hopefully and we haven’t been able to do it so far but i don’t even mention the us military and

don’t mention the atrocities they cause you get like two million dollars in funding like that

i don’t want to jump the gun but i think i see owen wilson um yes yes yeah that that is perfect

casting who should be his shell well i don’t think he’d want luke zach

galifianaicus ooh yeah i think that is a good hearing

have they worked together this could be nice weren’t they in some sort of bird

watching movie together where was zach galifianakis not in that um you have stumped me cameron couldn’t

tell you stumped me and this i’m really ashamed as you know sort of the

head moderator on the owen wilson wiki i i should know these things offhand but

anyway especially because that’s an elected position gentlemen i hate to call a halt to this but i um i actually have to go

yeah well it’s good because we were we were finished up there yes i just uh there’s some police uh knocking on the

door of this place i’m in it’s a old ihop

and i actually have to get going because well i think it should be

obvious why yeah uh real quick do you want to plug anything uh for any friends of yours maybe uh

yes uh you could listen to the uh the succotash podcast or sound soundcast as they call it i

don’t know why they have that crazy name uh they play clips of

things like your show they would probably feature your show um okay yeah i think they’ve done that time

or two various soundcasts so that’s worth listening to i listen to that when i’m in a sewer culvert

spending the night trying to get out of the weather great all right um well thank you to our

guest jimmy swa thank you to producer cameron thank you did you join the host

[Music]

[Music] if people just record realize this

garbage is your friend oh

my god

Hi kids you’re about to listen to a comedy podcast that means that none of this is medical advice if you need medical advice or

medical care please contact your doctor brought to you by koala cora it tastes just like down under i’m

crampy koala take it away DJ Dylan welcome to the jock doc

podcast featuring dr london smith producer cameron crampy koala

a special guest and me dj dillon and live from new york it’s saturday

night [Music]

[Music] hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and health and how to incorporate our modern understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it being so boring i’m your host dr londonsmith.com

i’d like to begin by apologizing to our listeners we’ve received some feedback about the excessive amount of technical

medical terms that i’ve been using such as subcortical purulence and sponsored content so i’ll try to temper

my terminology to a simpler one in the future here to help with that is our producer cameron

how are you doing dr london today well i mean just

just this week i’ve you’ve been i mean ever since you got vaccinated you’ve been uh sort of partying a lot yeah

i mean it’s one of those things it’s only with other vaccinated people but um i guess there are some types of

uh there’s certain crowds that i didn’t use to hang out with because i was so you know living in fear

but now that i’m vaccinated yeah i feel kind of like i can do anything

well and that’s yeah that’s awesome but you and i i want to say crampy

you guys went parasailing with famed anti-koala activists coming steve

yeah i um that’s true i like i don’t i don’t know

what you’re getting at so he had he had the hookups for the parasailing thing like he had a really good deal going and we were okay we were barely hanging

out all the time anyway and so he said like just just come with me i’ve already got the thing

set up and i was like well yeah i guess it’s stupid to say no it’s parasailing because i do want i

want to remind our listeners we are now on the uh koala cola

podcast network the number one soda in all of australia koala cola it tastes just like down

underneath it tastes just like down under and koala cola makes a an amazing product that has no koalas and no koala

parts or juices in it yeah and i i think that that is a point we’ve been over this a lot lately we’ve

talked about this so much important that i think is worth repeating that there actually there are no koala parts in it at all

and that’s that’s really interesting to know and to just reiterate and that’s great but it

just when you’re hanging out with scummy steve who his entire thing is being anti-koala

and how we should be eating more koalas that looks bad that really reflects

poorly on koala cola yeah so i guess andy didn’t invite me at all

so he the way he phrased it was that he’s pro koala eating so like

whenever you say anti koala that terminology is a bit confusing given that you know oh right yeah it’s just

it’s just based on how it’s framed in the media you know yeah yeah they’re they’re trying to change it one’s anti-one thing is

someone else’s pro other thing uh but yeah it was i’ll admit that it was a little bit uncomfortable for

crampy just like he kept it seemed like every seat

even on the boat that crampie found was a grill or something designed to trap

him or you know heat him up to cook him but like that’s that’s steve

you know yeah and that’s just like normal i mean parasailing that’s how i just as far as i know that

wasn’t my first time so i’m yeah genuinely well okay yeah i’ve

i i apologize for judging so harshly dr london it sounds like everything was above board i didn’t mean to

you know get on to you harshly and we can of course cut this out of the podcast if you don’t want to be you know if you want to keep this private

yeah but uh you know i i i just want to keep you in check you see things in the papers you see

things on the gossip blogs and it makes you wonder yeah and

it’s just one of those things where you know once again uh i’m also trying to get the word out about koala cola we’ve been really pushed on

this to go on uh not exactly a press tour but essentially a press tour yeah it’s well

it’s like a press walkabout right yeah that is the term they use yeah uh i’m just not yeah you’re

you’re walking like at like 60 70 miles or something like that it’s like a really long distance over the course of

days but you’ve got press with you the whole time yeah it’s um it’s a lot and all we are allowed to to

drink is koala cola and i by the way i love it it tastes just like donuts yeah

so it’s i i’m loving it and i i’m having the time of my life uh

anyways so that was our producer cameron also with us is did you join the hose

who his entire thing is being anti-koala and how we should be eating more koalas

that looks bad that really reflects poorly on koala cola

[Music]

later cameron tells me we can expect a special guest that’s right dr london i’m guessing we

do okay is that is that why you use the

term guest as you’re guessing yeah i mean that’s there’s definitely a mystery to it

okay before i mean because sometimes you’ve never wondered you seem to know sometimes why the guest

every single week has a bag over their head with a big question mark i well yeah because i i worry about

their hair getting messed up well okay but it just we’re supposed to

we’re supposed to like guess who it is and then we just see if we’re right

oh i didn’t real okay so um i’m gonna put my guess as

who who would i think um okay uh shaq i’ve never that’s just on top of

my head whatever yeah yeah i guess i mean maybe again i don’t know i would love that that’d be great

okay um anyway so before we move on i would like to address a bit of listener feedback

this note comes from a lucky crampy koala worker who after several days of indecision in

the back room decided to go ahead and sign that non-disclosure agreement the note reads quote i love working at

koala cola end quote that’s great that’s great super great to hear and

they wrote into us yeah with that that’s right can i see it real quick yeah there’s

let me well it’s it’s kind of stained it’s a little red well that’s not supposed to ask so the it says it’s like typed out like on

a like a typewriter it says i love working here and then something in sort of like a red

like kool-aid juice says i don’t know it’s something in a language i can’t read yeah

yeah i you know and i’m i try to be open to other cultures but unfortunately i don’t yeah i also don’t know how to read it i’m the illiterate

man it’s like polish probably yeah um but you know i’ll say

we were admittedly a little hesitant to partner up with koala cola at first which which sounds crazy at this point but um

we were hesitant but we keep hearing these great stories from their employees so uh we

just knew that we had to get involved so anyway to that listener uh that

lucky crampy koala worker uh thank you for listening now for today’s medical topic

non-alcoholic fatty liver disease alcoholic fatty liver disease okay

yeah thanks uh along with some of the other topics we’ve been covering is a cause of liver cirrhosis so

non-alcoholic fatty liver disease is a common condition in which there is excess fat in the liver of those who don’t consume alcohol so

you have to rule that out the alcohol part so there are two types one is non-alcoholic fatty liver which is

relatively benign and then there is non-alcoholic steatohepatitis so you can get this from

not having enough alcohol that is interesting because i have a lot

of these people that i know who keep like they’re really snooty about like oh i don’t drink anymore oh

it was too important in my life so i stopped doing it but they’re like really like kind of turning their nose up to everyone and

i’d love to be able to shove this in their face like you ha obviously you have to have like a

minimum level of alcohol in your system at any given time or otherwise you’re going to get non-alcoholic fatty liver syndrome

yeah so i mean that’s that’s honestly maybe the closest you’ve ever come to pronouncing the name of one of these

diseases but like properly but um so this is actually it’s caused by

essentially by being fat but i’ll go on to that um so it’s

the bad one the bad version of it is non-alcoholic steam hepatitis or nash it’s typically associated with

inflammation and fibrosis and the potential to progress to cirrhosis so it’s also potentially a pre-malignant

meaning that can turn into a cancer so uh the disorder is associated with obesity diabetes hyperlipidemia

and corticosteroid use the most important diagnostic challenge is to exclude the more serious

liver disease uh so uh you know once again you’re looking at alcohol

first that’s a big one uh and also you know for some other diseases liver function tests

hit their minimum level for the day uh so that’s not in any case uh so

biopsy is the most accurate test and it’ll actually show the same microvesicular fatty deposits that

you would find in alcoholic liver disease but without the alcohol use uh

so i would say you know to our listeners you actually should not drink that’s that’s drink alcohol that

is sorry i do want to clarify you shouldn’t drink alcohol you should drink water uh two liters of water a day is great

unless of course you have some issues of fluid overload but that’s that’s beside the point yeah i mean

like a vodka water or anything like that will really sort of balance out your alcohol intake

with with proper hydration because you want to be hitting what is

it it’s eight cups a day right dr london of water eight cups of get like a vodka

water a day yeah so so it’s like 64 ounces ish

that can be a lot to do and i know a lot of people it’s like oh i don’t necessarily like the taste of this or oh

the taste of this is so boring and so they want to add you know like powders to it and all

these different things but it’s sort of like you just gotta you know get used to it you gotta find the way

that you love it and maybe like set a reminder on your phone like okay drink your

vodka water yes uh so so treatment is to correct the diabetes obesity and

hyperlipidemia there’s no specific drug treatment to reverse the more benign non-alcoholic fatty liver

uh you’ll give vitamin e to these patients usually nash and that’s the the bad one

non-alcoholic steatohepatitis that’s treated with acid

which decreases the progression of the disease but it will not reverse severe fibrosis that’s that’s basically

scar tissue in your liver uh and if there’s nash and diabetes you’ll treat that with uh pioglitazone

and that’s really sad to hear that even if you were to try to binge drink tonight to try to catch up

on what you’ve been missing out on that it you know it’s not it’s not reversible there’s no way you’re to be

able to take that back yes i um and really i i would once again

emphasize to our listeners you know and cameron has his methods but i would say you know as a medical

professional probably you just want to stick with you know water water’s a really good one trying to

minimize the alcohol intake but but we can move on from there well i mean i mean except for

except for koala cola’s new line of summer spritzers yeah sorry we’d have to great timing

yeah um so it’s like cole’s new line of uh spritzers they’re they’re wine coolers

and they’re um what was the other one that’s it’s it’s just super caffeinated right

um it’s it’s like a four lokos oh java jungle

um yeah so the coffee based alcoholic energy drink so normally i

would say that it’s dangerous to mix you know high caffeine with high

alcohol content um that’s you know speed in a large

volume roughly the the size of like a bottle of wine yeah so so normally i would say to avoid that

but uh contractually i’m going to go ahead and say wow koala cola’s new java jungle

it’s it says trolls like donald yes okay um anyway

you want to move on from there is that is that all right yeah yeah we can move on [Music]

all right uh cameron so we have a guest okay well i see the the bag over his

head yes do i get a guess as well yeah yeah i’m sorry i didn’t mean so i think it’s shaq

now i think i definitely think it’s shaq he’s so uh just a posture he’s very tall and

he’s very uh like he carries himself like a very important person

yeah and so i mean that was that’s why i would say the um the lead singer of train

yeah it’s those shaq and trains yeah the lead singer train are so easy

to confuse yeah so it’s like honestly this will be a great review right it’s just like they have the same vibe you know what i mean

yeah yeah seeing them both in a crowd uh i they they both are gonna stand out

just like well because they will you know have the crowd partying for them well i mean what what is drops of jupiter if not

a slam dunk that shatters the backboard right

and what is a slam dunk that shatters a backboard except the another like hey soul sister

all right well um hello there my name sorry i’m going to take the bag off whoa whoa hey hey soul sister it’s me

scummy steve baby i was going to try to do my shack impression but then i thought i don’t have one

this is your this is your new buddy dr london right yeah do you want to want to introduce

you yes so um yeah so for one thing for our

uh i guess i’m we’ve already met but this is so my name is dr londonsmith.com as you know and this is our producer

i know man good to see you again dude i haven’t seen you since you fell off that boat yeah um so so this is uh oh whoa

wait i didn’t know this part of it he fell off the boat that’s nothing yeah man we were

paragliding and we were getting dragged behind the boat and then we finally got on the boat and doctor locked and fell right off oh

man and we kept going and i he fell right on that’s great

cramp cranberry loves that that happened too uh so what’s your deal grampy

uh well crampy was uh i think he was just excited to use his catchphrase in a slightly different way

but um oh okay yeah because he fell down under the boat i get it honestly i could just avoid the word

down or under because it sort of he’s gonna he’s gonna twist it into a catchphrase thing

ah man i saw him just like on the edge of his seat trying to say something but trying to hold it back at the same time as you were saying down and underneath

you can see his like his like little lips moving like he’s talking to himself but

you can’t you know yeah you can’t hear what he’s saying okay oh man we okay crampy okay we’re

like we’re like edging this dude we’re getting we’re like edging this dude right now crampy crampy’s on the edge man all

right so i mean okay scummy steve besides stories of by the way i’m so glad that you guys got

to meet and i i’m so sorry that i didn’t invite you cameron i didn’t

you know steve said it’d be weird yeah the boat’s got three seats driver scummy steve scummy steve’s friend and

in this case that was dr london yeah and like the trip to puerto rico alone was like

it was one of those things where uh is we only had so many yeah oh yeah that we oh no and i had

like i had a i had like a like a pot like a potluck i was going to that yeah you said you had a chicken

dinner well i had a pot yeah like a chicken potluck thing um with my friend’s sister

and um her dad’s

it took the whole weekend are you like are you like you know are you like trying to trying

to hit that or what’s going on friend sister oh i would never hit a woman all right to each their own to

each their own you know what i mean and that’s not like i’m not here you’re talking disgusting yes i know it’s gonna be stevia like i’m

not here to say one way or the other like how i feel about certain things but i just personally would never hit

a woman hey yeah you do you man you do you what’s um one thing to clarify for our

listeners you know it may sound mean that we keep calling scummy steve scummy to his face that’s

he that’s his own title like steve do you want to share how you got that dude i earned this i earned that name okay

cause for a while a long time i was working at this restaurant called long john silver’s right and so i was

like in there and they’d be like hey we need somebody to clean out the fryer and there’s nobody who can get scum out

of a fryer like scummy steve and then and i wore it as a badge of honor like yeah sure this is an entry

level position and i’m barely holding down the job but like i can clean this dang friar

call me scummy steve because i’ll get that scum out yeah and it’s a stuff of legends it’s an

entry level position you’re not expected to work there forever so there’s no reason to be paid you know 15 an hour or anything like that right

no of course not no because it’s so entry level right no if you are doing a job that nobody

else wants to do you should get paid like [ __ ] for it yeah exactly because that motivated you

to work harder right exactly exactly because i mean look at look at where you are now now scummy steve i don’t agree with a

lot of your beliefs but you’re very well known i mean you have a pretty big following as being a

an anti-koala activist you say koalas they’re the most boring animals and you

have i mean pro koala in a way pro quality eating you’re big into koala jerky and kuala meads yeah i got some

right here you want to try it yeah yeah i mean i do in front of crampy

i uh no please don’t make crampy eat a koala hey i’m just

offering it i’m not i’m not gonna exclude crampy from this that’s all i’m saying crappy you don’t want to eat it you’re right you know that’s ugh this is messy

i guess that’s polite i don’t i don’t know how polite that it it it’s polite i just want to know what

yeah your your your hosts or your guests that’s what i’ve always

learned that’s what i’ve always learned i just want to know like how how you how you fell into this i mean you’re

starting off as someone making minimum wage and you’re making exactly the amount you should be making

and you shouldn’t be questioning it absolutely everyone’s protesting any change to that and then all of a sudden i mean you know

within a year or two you have i mean 125 000 followers on twitter

you are you know you you created the hashtag no more koalas well that actually it all came out of of

my work you know i was i was in it long john my long john silvers i was trying to clean out the fryer and and this koala hopped in the fryer

while i was cleaning it and i tweeted a picture of that and that’s what got me most of my followers to be honest i treated that picture it said no more

koalas in long john silver’s and then i discovered that like the long john silver’s part wasn’t as popular

as the no more koalas so i was like no more koalas forever wow yeah just caught fire found you

found other people who felt the same way that’s nice you know it dude even though i don’t agree but i believe that we can be

friends even if we disagree on certain things you know i think so too the biggest

thing being yeah whether we should erratically consume

yeah not not just eradicate but also feast upon if we’re gonna creature if we’re gonna

cause extinction we should at least use all the meat you know what i’m saying like if you

want to make something go extinct don’t waste it you know use the whole buffalo as some people used to say

but i mean that just sounds like an advertisement for your koala jerky which is now sort of i

i imagine that’s probably your main source of income right yeah dude it’s crazy it’s crazy how many people want to

buy this quality because everybody look it look like like people who know they know koala jerky tastes the best

people who don’t know they think it’s a joke they don’t think it’s real koala they’re like what is this beef no eat it

dude it’s it’s a koala bear wow and you’re laughing at them while they do it

all the time man when i see people being dumb i laugh at them that’s the thing that’s the thing i don’t yeah no there’s no reason to hold back you

know well i mean i’m gonna be honest gummy steve you’re kind of winning

me over a little bit oh well hey you know i’m always in the market you know what you’ve got just got a fun

vibe to you i’m not gonna i am still like i’m not necessarily

pro removing koalas like from the earth but like i’m a little more neutral about

it you know they will interrupt your process while you’re trying to clean out the deep fryer man and excuse me can i

[ __ ] swear uh it will be beeped and if you you can

actually choose your own beep noise would you like an old-timey car awuga

would you like a space laser or would you like a i don’t know like a dolphin like

um can i get like can i make a third a fourth request instead of one of those things options yeah could it be like yeah go ahead i will

see oh like to go back to headquarters could it be like okay so uh so like a koala

right but the koala’s like kill me uh i mean dj dylan can we accomplish

that either know that or i’ll take that away well i don’t know okay uh so

crampy seems hesitant about the idea as well crampy do you want to be a voice of my beep sound crampy crappy if

you could just kill me real quick we can use that drop

don’t kill me no you want me to kill you crappy he said i’m kidding i know he said i

believe he said don’t but i guess you could just crop out the that what if what if we just get crampy

saying beep and that can be sort of a compromise cranberry are you okay with just with saying beep no

oh you okay well then you would rather stick with the please kill me all right that’s your choice man i was trying to like kind of

stick up for you because i was worried that it was uncomfortable for you but that’s that’s your choice dude

i just yeah i get the impression that he’s really just hesitant to to bring himself in more than he has

to uh which i i understand given that we’re talking about eradicating his you know race in his presence i can see

species it makes it a lot more palatable now uh uh uh speaking of palatable i

noticed that you you guys haven’t like taken a single chomp down on that koala jerky yeah you know what you know i think it

it would go it would go great with and i’m not implying anything about this but it would go great with koala cola

now i mean not that they’re sure but there’s no there aren’t any koala parts

for a second saying that this specifically would taste good with koala cola implies that certain things

wouldn’t taste good with koala cola so you should follow this up follow it up with this will taste

good with koala cola because koala cola tastes good with everything but i do know that that i i tried a few things that that didn’t

taste so good with koala cola okay and uh number one we really can’t say that

well but but i think it tastes different things that tasted different just like

crampy man you’re right that it tastes like down under but that’s the problem because i was eating my own poop and it tasted

like down under my butt and that’s not good i don’t want that okay and i want to just clarify real quick this yeah and this just

we have to read this every time this happens so um quala cola is not made with any parts of a koala including

you know it’s not made from the anus it’s not made from the rectum it’s not made from the colon of a koala uh there

are no you know not from made from the skin surrounding the the you know the perianal area uh

the the the cheeks the the buttocks it’s not made with any of those parts of the koala koala

cola is made with no koala parts well koala jerky is right entirely koala yeah that’s 100 koala

parts oh it’s it’s mostly koala asthma yeah yeah because like the flanks and stuff

that you can make up into a nice steak but like the ass beat doesn’t really have anywhere else to go i guess that makes sense i mean you know

i’m not gonna i’m not gonna judge i’m sure like just regular beef jerky is a cow’s

butt or something it is yeah good beef jerky is anyone yeah how much of

how much of beef is the butt how much of beef is i would say probably 100 of the 100 of

beef is butt i think so yeah yeah because the rest of it is called

cow meat but then beef is the butt scummy steve what what what brought you

here probably here dude oh man yeah i just i wanted to return dr london’s calculator

yes thank you okay i’ve been looking all over for this thing i’m so glad you made the trip from puerto rico because

uh i mean it was my understanding that you for whatever reason you were allowed to go there but like

flying back was going to be problematic so i guess did you take them no no no no i had to smuggle myself in a

cargo bay on a plane so the thing about not having a passport is you’re not allowed to travel

legally commercially or any other way so for me what i had to do was box

myself in with the uh koala jerky that i was shipping from from puerto rico to australia

interesting fact yeah i had to import koala meat to puerto rico because that’s where i’m

able to process it into jerky and then ship it back to australia because that’s where people are buying it

wow wait no i should be whoever you are

yeah well well and no it doesn’t get confusing because sometimes we are an international

watcher where are we right now i got off the plane i don’t remember we are currently

in international waters yeah i don’t really want to say because i also don’t really know dj

dillon is sort of the navigator okay yeah yeah that explains why getting off the cargo plane was like felt a little

choppy because like oh we’re on a boat i didn’t even know we’re on a boat and

you right uh-huh yeah oh yeah you’re just always partying i

don’t have it sorry i i have a i have a question here real quick though dr london

am i supposed to believe that you didn’t have your calculator these last few days uh well because how you told me you did

all your equations for the day do you want to tell me how you did that so so i told you i did all my equations

i’ve been i’ve been covering up a little bit i i

haven’t done all of my you know everybody knows doctors do a lot of equations and so for me i’ve been

yeah for the last when when did i yeah i was over the last week i visited and my

my equations have been piling up and i don’t know how i’m gonna get through it uh even with this calculator now uh

i i don’t think it’s enough for me to catch up so i should tell you thank you for

asking the calculator was in the cargo hold with me and they kept that cargo hold like at sub-zero temperatures to keep all the

meat fresh so it did definitely like go through a freezing process where i’m not sure the

calculations are going to be accurate anymore you think the numbers are too cold the numbers inside the calculator the

calculator’s numbers that that is really frustrating when that happens when they get too frozen to

show on the screen well hold on because computers work

better and calculators are computers uh they work better the lower the temperature right so i

might be able to really catch up on my equations with this people yeah the fastest gaming computer would

be a computer in um the arctic yeah like outside of the

middle of the arctic that would be that would have to be the fast if you have an alienware

out in the arctic do you know how fast that would go don’t get crazy get that alienware out

to pluto then it’s it’s more like in its happy place and it’s colder

that one’s just playing computer processors right

you know what i’m talking about i know i hate man you don’t have to tell me about it dude i mean scummy steve like

so you just came here to return the calculator okay so are you gonna do anything while you’re visiting the area

the international waters area oh man yeah i had so many plans for when i got here man i was thinking to myself like first of

all i’m gonna get this calculator back to doctor london because i did it to calculate the trajectory of the boat and like i think i got it right

because i made it here uh yeah i mean you’re here so yeah i used it together you didn’t crash into our boat i did i

did yeah sorry about that again oh oh no that’s fine no no that’s great

the only way we’re here is because we crashed into whatever this was first right right and it does look like

an abandoned oil rig of some kind not to speculate too hard but it does look like an abandoned oil rig of some kind

it looks like an oil rig that a boat had crashed into and is now sort of an uh like an amorphous blob

connected together a rat king of you know boat wreckage i should say you know this also we

aren’t the first to to reckon like there is a whole a parent civilization oh i i met my wife

here oh damn so it’s wait there’s girls here yeah it’s

no not well i wouldn’t say

that same i would have yeah but no they’re um i wouldn’t call them girls i wouldn’t i

wouldn’t i wouldn’t want to label any of the well you could call them women it was it

was a crowd of people who were tired of hearing our podcast and so they they kind of got out of here

quickly but a lot of them swam too there’s women that listen to your podcast

no no oh okay that makes their work that makes sense there was when we were sort of forcing

everyone on the barge to to listen to our podcast we would play over sort of a speaker system

to be perfectly clear no there are zero women who are willing to listen to and i think

it’s just the voices i think the content is great i think it’s just our voices are so great yeah that tracks

yeah every time i just i’m like damn if i was a woman [ __ ] this

yeah exactly but i’m not like yeah not in a good way yeah what is happening now this uh so

so so let me tell you but what my plan is uh uh now that i know i don’t have to

change it because there’s women on board uh my plan is uh uh get you back that calculator

make you try my koala jerky which i’m i’m still i’m still seeing you haven’t taken a chomp down on that thing yet uh

and and number three uh liberate you from the evils of koala cola [Music]

well okay well let’s let’s tackle number two

you definitely are not allowed to use the word evil before or after the trademark name of koala

collide just legally that is legally will get us into trouble um yeah that’s what that so why do you

have so much packaging for this because it’s like maybe an inch long this this piece

yeah it’s an inch of meat and 16 inches of packaging because it’s important to make sure you lock in that fresh koala meat flavor

yeah i don’t know i guess i just don’t think jerky is usually this hairy

true i guess would be my like sort of my first observation yeah no that’s true and that’s that’s

part of uh the difference between a cow and a koala is that koala’s got a hairy butt so

that’s why there’s more hair on this jerky than you’re used to ah and it’s not something that could like be removed or

altered in any way honestly i’m not sure if we could have taken it off but i didn’t why change the product if it’s doing so

exactly people love this stuff and i see i love the twitter pictures i get from my fans sending me pictures of them picking the hairs out of their

teeth oh yeah it’s so that’s a lot of fun yeah so

so the caption i’m reading on this is um you can taste the screams

is that uh who chose that i guess

that because i was thinking of myself as i was as i was cutting the butts off some koalas and they were screaming i

was like wow i wonder what this feeling tastes like and then i took a bite of my first completed jerky and i was like

that’s it that’s the screams that’s you could taste the screams what is the

it’s fighting oh sorry the flavor the flavor of screams fights with the

flavor of hair is what i’m feeling like what is that what does this taste come that like kind of aftertaste

that’s kind of there oh that’s bleach dude yeah yeah because that’s how you eat jerky is you take

meat you put it in bleach and you take it out and it’s dried meat wow it has

you know bleach has sort of a both sour and spicy taste to it which is very interesting

ah that’s true and i actually i augment that spicy taste by just adding a little bit a little tiny bit just one cayenne

pepper one uh a granule of cayenne pepper

that you get like at the store oh you know you should uh around

halloween time look into doing like a ghost pepper variation oh the ghosts their koala’s past

and then yeah okay yeah okay yeah this is marketing genius dude why don’t you’d make meats

oh i i mean i’m so i’m sort of under an exclusive contract already and so i

think to you know i think i don’t i think it would look kind of bad especially since

the company i’m working for has been trying to distance themselves from you know you and your product and your

your sort of activism and yeah yeah well you know hey if we can

liberate you from qualifications he’s trying to kill us all i am i am that’s right that’s right absolutely i don’t think

anyone’s hiding that crampy and honestly i am being convinced

so every time you speak up crampy yeah really the only thing i need to do

to convince you all the to get liberated from these koala cola folks is is just like crampy talk more yeah it’s

it is difficult um but it’s so crampy maybe you know same advice

that i would have for anyone who’s trying to convince you know women to listen to our podcast i’d say don’t don’t let the voices be

heard is really a really good way yeah to approach it they’ll do it they’ll do it but yeah i i hope so

so scummy steve i i really really love your energy i’m just not crazy about the

you know like the massacring koalas thing can we somehow bring you on board to the jock talk podcast and

your energy and your attitude like you really bring the attitude like i totally get why

you you just are a magnet for followers and and becoming an influencer and all these

things so i want i do want you if you want to be a part of the jock doc brand

we just i have to distance myself somewhat from the koala slaughter stuff

oh man the slaughtering so maybe you could be like a brand ambassador or something but it’s like

maybe when you like post about our podcast like on your on your socials and stuff

maybe you don’t include like you know koala meat in the picture or like a koala’s head or anything like

that you just post about the podcast would that be which is that possible okay i don’t wanna like

i don’t want to make you do something you you you know don’t feel comfortable doing i mean look man can i come clean

with you guys for just a second yeah i mean please yeah okay

this is my last batch of koala jerky and after this like i don’t have access

to the koalas anymore man because i’m not legally allowed to be in australia

oh i was gonna say like killing koalas i thought well that was already illegal

and that is why i’m not allowed to be in australia anymore like i was doing that illegally for a long time and now it’s like

yo if you come back to australia you go to jail for the rest of your life i can’t i can’t live that life man look

at me i’d never make it in prison well okay i would say first off um if this is the

last batch of your product you probably shouldn’t just be handing it out so willy-nilly dude you gotta build up

goodwill in business you got to like get people into your product and you guys weren’t into it so i figured i’d like give it to you to try it

and then you’d like it and it worked this is an opportunity you’re seeing this as a negative thing but okay what if what if this you

know your your your supplies are are drying up they’re coming to an end this is an opportunity to maybe

transition into something else that’s what i’m saying i got to find something else but like my whole identity is based on getting revenge

against this one koala that jumped into the fryer at long time silver’s that one time you know and i’m like how can i abandon

this like core tenet of my identity it just wouldn’t make something new and make positive changes moving to a

new format i mean think of you know like vine stars when vine shut down and they didn’t just disappear they were able to

successfully have a career in being a sexual predator and likewise you

so you’re saying i should have a career in being a sexual no no no no i think for you you could be all

about me and london basically making us look cool and badass

i could like be your sexual predator well no i mean i meant that uh well

i mean how do i want to think about this yeah how do you want to deal with this can i can i sell bar with

cameras yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i’ll just chew on my jerky yeah so so cameron so this is one of

those things where you don’t want to be impaled because um i know that you’ve already you’ve

already told me before like he’s he’s not your type um but but

that’s that doesn’t always come across when you tell people you can’t just tell people you’re not my type well it’s just that’s not polite right well it’s just

yeah what predator yeah like i’m not like yeah a like you know i don’t think

predator is much of a sexual being all anyway and so to make him a sexual predator

i don’t know like i if i’m attracted to something it would be alien yeah

yeah and i’ve heard that there are a lot of sort of very effeminate metaphors throughout the

alien movies and i know that that’s yeah that’s something you’ve already been into and so so

i guess i don’t i now we need to figure out how to break this news to uh steve because i i don’t want to just

say we’re not into you in that well that’s what i mean can we

not use him for anything well i guess we just have to be clear

and we can just say it’s not professional the profes the predator aspect or it’s it’s not it’s in our contract i don’t

even think we have to address it i think we can just just distract him if we tell like give him something else okay okay let’s

try that yeah like i think uh hey steve so oh yeah yeah so yeah so let’s maybe what if you

transition transition out of the hairy koala market and into star wars themed parody videos

wow that’s a huge jump dude and it sounds fun in a lot of ways because it is like

i know a lot about star wars i saw one of them so i could probably handle that

yeah which one did you see uh attack of the clones okay yeah everyone’s favorite good yeah

so certainly my favorite so i can do a lot of stuff with that like you could sing songs about like

tunisians they got so much power i don’t know what that song that i’m

parroting and then so you know that that’s how you’re making your money now and then on your socials

you’re talking about me in london you’re saying oh i’m listening to the newest episode of the jock doc podcast and it’s so great oh did you see this

tweet that cameron that producer cameron posted today ha ha it’s so funny oh look at this epic

fail that dr london had today and that’s all that that becomes sort of your identity

yeah i mean yeah that’s like my thought about it is like on the one hand like my whole life goal

of getting revenge on this koala that jumps into this strategy it’s like i’m abandoning that

yeah it’s okay but at the same time i am embracing some new folks who i

could probably like make a lifelong friendship with like me and dr london already go way back to that hang gliding trip and

uh me and cam now we go way back to right now which is like that we go way back to the yeah beginning of

this interview yeah that is far back well yeah do you guys want to reminisce for a

second oh man yeah man interview oh my gosh do you remember when you had that bag on your head at

first dude you know oh man we thought like it

could be shack oh but that was no yeah i thought for us it wasn’t i

thought it was a second for a single second i thought it was michael rappaport like i i just really thought it was

i thought it was macklemore yeah oh yeah thrift shop oh michael mclemore

the guy was like hey you you got you guys are all you guys are all gotta go to the thrift shop you stop walking around the streets

of new york go to the thrift shop that’s my impression of that yep yeah good and definitely keep that in

the podcast now i’m i will say uh on the like my favorite thing about the beginning of

the show was like on this episode you two neither one of you knew who the guest was which is crazy

usually i’ve listened to your show a lot of times and usually cam you know whose guest is in london you don’t and that’s

like kind of a fun dynamic but then this time neither of you knew it was me you both thought it was somebody else

well i mean you know what like a lot of times when i say our guest so and so i’m taking a

guess and i’m just i’m right like 99 of the time it’s a guest yeah it’s a yes

so i mean every single every single guest who’s been on the podcast has been sitting in the corner with a bag on their head that had a

question mark yeah and i don’t know who it is until we reveal them it’s just i i’m pretty good at guessing and i want

to say you know most guests we don’t even need to like have them brought in with a sort of a

gun or anything like that you know the back of their head usually it’s not so sometimes this happens but

yeah i came in with a struggle yeah and you were in a crowd of people milling about

and yeah and so that that that happens sometimes but that’s i want to

say you know first i don’t want to explain this that’s not the norm yeah yeah go ahead because cause like

yeah because so what happened was uh some of the other people on your boat who i definitely knew about and didn’t

learn about during this interview uh they captured me because i i like i crashed

the plane into your boat like we like we established and and so and so they were like who is this guy and i was like who wants to eat some

koala who wants to eat some koala and people were like no and they they locked me up put the

bag on my head and brought me to you i guess they said no i’m surprised at that yeah i mean they obviously would know who you

are that’s your catchphrase like you coming in hot like that oh i was shocked it’s like what are

these people living under a rock not they’re just living on an old oil rig well i was gonna say just food also

like they’re they’re getting pretty desperate yeah well like you said it’s pretty hairy so people didn’t necessarily recognize it

as food that is the downside to koala jerky we haven’t described it yet but it does look like just like a patch of gray fur yeah it

was like i said it was hard to taste the uh the jerky in it

mostly the fur um it was it’s like yeah it was the fur in the ass the ass

meat of it yeah well yeah you gotta heat ass dude you gotta eat ass now but

all of this i mean you’re you’re running out of supplies this is all behind you now yeah so let’s let’s stop reminiscing

about the good old days at the beginning of this podcast and let’s focus on the now focus on the future

what is 2022 look like for scummy steve yeah man i gotta figure that out because

yeah i am like okay sounds like rico i mean it sounds like we’re figuring it out right now star wars parody videos yeah and just

constantly plugging this podcast what’s like the most popular song to do a parody video of

oh probably like uh california girls by katy perry

oh yeah and i for sure know that song so good pick yeah we’re all we’re all normally do

like i do i’ve accidentally done so many parody videos to that because that’s just how i’m i’m always singing

you know well yeah i mean it’s just the biggest song in the world like you’ve got i mean that song maybe tick tock by

kesha and maybe you know you know you’re doing uh uh you know just relevant stuff right

now like mitt romney and obama like the stuff that’s just going on right now yeah bro is it 2008

[Music]

around this time period right now right now right yeah back then right now so i would say that i could do something with

like count okay so like count uh count dooku on the clock and we turn

that saber to the angle and we dance and we’re kesha and also notions this is hard guys i

don’t know if i’m cut out for this no you’re you’re hitting it so nail on the head

here’s the thing here’s the thing you’ve already got the following so it doesn’t matter like the product doesn’t matter you’ve

already got the socials dude you’re so right once you get enough social media following you get likes for like

anything you can just say like today i’m eating a burrito and that blows up and people are like god that guy’s funny

exactly i mean we can even i would say maybe if you even got into like bitmoji like animation stories

that would be extremely cheap to do extremely easy and it would allow you to be creative

and again i don’t think the content matters as long as you’re sort of continuously plugging this podcast i am

worried though cause like my fans come to expect me to in every tweet at least include like

a picture of a dead koala yeah and like are the severed body parts

severed limbs i mean how can we compromise on this dr london i feel like there’s got to be of some middle ground

here he killed my father doesn’t i mean it just doesn’t

doesn’t make an impact on you at all your father was the one in the fryer

i that’s look we told you to be quiet okay graham b and crampy’s a liar so i

you can’t even really trust him for this kind of stuff crampy are you a liar

or is your dad the one in the fryer you killed my dad no one okay killed anyone

no it’s no i killed that who needs to bring out then it’s fine yeah of course you did it

it’s fine i guess so yeah i don’t have to the sins of the father don’t have to be held against the sun i suppose

i yeah i’d look and i’d rather not even address it like that’s why i was kind of just trying to shush crampy because you know you are a guest

yeah it sure does seem like we want to move on from the koala stuff and i keep bringing it back up no it’s it’s it’s our it is you know

koala cola is a great brand and we just want to you know emphasize how good it is

no i mean and i appreciate like i get it you are obsessed with koalas that’s what’s on your mind of course you’re

gonna bring bring it back up like i’m not saying you know get rid of that entire part of your personality i

just think maybe publicly since you sent only because you were running out of the koala meet

pivoting towards i mean what about like you just build like little uh hot wheels tracks you build cool hot

wheels tracks and you just do the car again content it doesn’t matter as long as you’re continuously putting it out

every day and then you’re advertising this podcast i really want to stress the advertising

of this podcast part yeah no i’m on board for that like i’m so on board i love you guys so far like

my experience paragliding was amazing and my experience being here has been incredible so i’m i love you guys for

sure uh and i already do a lot of hot wheels stuff at home just this is awesome people don’t know that

so all i have to do is just like put a camera on the hot wheels car and then have it like as it goes down

the track and does the loopy loop we can like it like flashes to pictures of you guys and then it’s like

uh uh so it’s like the car going down the track and it’s like hey look it’s jack docks

you know that’s pretty awesome and i mean look at you scummy steve you came in here saying i only care about koalas

that’s my entire life and we’ve learned today a you’re a hot wheels designer track designer

absolutely uh b you’re a songwriter well and c i appreciate you guys

hardcore geek gamer nerd and you love star wars

yeah man i love attack of the clones the one movie star wars movie i saw uh uh which i think qualifies me to be a

big big time geek nerd gamer i’ve never played a video game in my life i think that’s a big waste of money or end time and anybody who plays video

games should probably kill themselves but like other than that i’m on board it’s all the same thing

it’s just everything is just the same thing now so it’s just you’re into star wars that makes you a gamer and you’re also into like x-men

it’s just all it’s just all the same dude i’m into one x-man

when that is my girl rogue man anyway anything she can do anything she’s in i’ll watch that man

see i’m really big into i i remember back in college having a poster on my wall of kelsey grammer’s

beast oh sure yeah that’s that’s who i wanted to be

you know and you look a little like him thank you that i really i’ve been trying

i mean dr london yeah is there i mean do i have a favorite yeah and i feel and

just to to clarify here so um normally we would do the chore wheel but this is one of

the chores dealing with x-men is to choose our sort of fantasy

romantic fantasy x-men oh yeah so i like i was about to bring

it up yeah it’s time to do the chores but we’re already doing it now perfect well let’s let’s run through

just the the details you gotta spin the chore wheel um we we’ve got to have the sound effect

so so go ahead and spin the tour wheel now let me explain wait i got to explain the chore wheel

the drawer wheel is that we’ve got chores and we got to do them there’s just chores and we got to do them every week okay and then now now steve go ahead and spin

the wheel

okay and it landed on assassinate prince philip well we no oh i already

did that dude it landed on it it landed on remember choose your x-men fantasy no i know but i’m saying this is

what it actually landed on but if we can swap this out we don’t have to you don’t you don’t have to make that you can take that off

the draw wheel i already did that okay that’s perfect so then we can just move that one here oh what is that

we’ve got a we’ve got our x-men thingy yeah yeah uh yeah so rogue and then

yeah so for me uh colossus colossus yeah just i like

i like it whenever it’s hard to read people um oh yeah his face is metal

yeah and not like metal but like metal yeah yeah just very literal i like it when when people

are incredibly literal and also um foreign accents nice nice nice

yeah all right so if we want to go ahead and destroy the chore wheel

uh i think you could actually just push it overboard and the fall alone into the you’re because your plane is

still on fire yeah your cargo plane yeah dump it right into the flames there yeah the oil

yeah so of course it’s gonna place for a long time the studio does have this gaping opening where you know

a big drop off to the cliff yeah so yeah okay yeah let me just show you that

what is one thing people don’t really talk a lot about is how much koala oil burns it burns for weeks

i mean i saw i saw there was a story going around about a tesla car that had crashed into

a tree and caught fire and it cut the the fire department it took them 30 000 gallons to put it

out because it kept reigniting what people don’t know was that there was a koala on the ignition

that sort of rubbed all of its oil all over the place that’s why it kept reigniting not

anything that tesla did and see this is why that koala was in the fryer in the first place was

obviously we haven’t talked about it yet but the guy who owned the long giant silvers i was working for

he was using koalas to make the oil for the fryer so the fryer would never run out yeah it tastes just like down under

yeah yeah the fries at long john’s kind of dead actually i okay uh sorry you know

grampy i guess is more involved today than usual and i’m having a hard time not killing

crampy and he i’m sure he’s having a struggle with you having killed his father so i want to get revenge on crampy for

his dad interrupting my cleaning that long john silverson yeah it’s

but it sounds like you already did by killing him like i don’t well yeah there’s more revenge you have to take

that’s the thing about revenge man isn’t that the main one there’s always more to it you kill one

and then you just need to kill another yeah okay well on that note you know maybe

it’s a good time to kind of end things here so real quick yeah

that’s also the story of hanukkah the reason it lasted eight nights koala and that is one of those things

that peop a lot of people don’t know about but this is why we talk and this is why we share different

cultures and different stories exactly exactly yeah i’m jewish let’s move on

oh yeah so i was just gonna say um you know uh scummy steve can you tell you know

our listeners you know how to find you uh any anything you’re affiliated with that you like yeah i’ve been trying to get on

this podcast for a long time this one but also another one uh called apocalypse tips with lester pips

and like man i swear i’ve seen dudes who look kinda like you dudes on there sometimes i’ve actually that’s suspicious i’ve

actually watched that show and i have noticed the same thing there there’s this very handsome fellow who

keeps popping up on the show who see looks like he’s copying a lot of my vibe

yeah and like just terrible voices awful voices always sucks yeah i mean it’s boring as

hell and and you’re of course talking about the time that they had kelsey gramber’s

beast on the show now uh yeah it looks just like you

no so that show is like it’s a podcast so search it for your podcast or also follow it on stuff at lester

pips or also uh it’s live on thursdays at 9 00 p.m pacific on twitch.tv slash pack

theater and it has a publicist called at ezra partier on instagram

who’s a guy that you could you know you could follow that guy too great uh and i well i assume scummy

steve people probably that he could just google you they’ll find you at scummy steve on all

the things if you don’t vlog already yeah well or we could work on it

anyway oh yeah no new stuff is going to be just jock docks on uh on uh jack docks on uh uh uh uh hot wheels

cars and stuff that’s yes great so maybe a sweet parody song about

star wars episode two ooh like a star wars hot wheels parody oh man could you imagine

if uh ob like what what’s obi-wan kenobi’s truck you know oh he’s probably not a truck

he’s probably a sports car i was gonna say trucks on his skateboard because i don’t know that he’s a skater kid

either oh dude obi-wan skates dude obi-wan can do so many kick flips in a row because think about he’s got the force i

definitely know darth maul skates that’s like i believe a big part of his brand

yes yeah yeah because after i mean i don’t know him because i didn’t see the star wars episode one that he’s in

but i do know that later in like the clone wars and stuff he comes back with the skater legs yeah well also just after the move like

after the movies he wasn’t cast in a whole lot of things after the star wars movies and so he sort of pivoted to

sort of this like a kind of a skating career as sort of like a you know what an amateur but you know

just able to make a little money off of it doing skate vids and stuff yeah when they were when they were doing the casting for phantom menace they were

looking for a tony hawk type yes and that’s who they got yeah tony hawk auditioned i heard and he

he did not know how to hold the lightsaber yeah yeah and that’s it’s all legs with

him yeah all legs dude tony hawk is all cgi which

we can we can talk about that on a different episode because that’ll take a while man i bet someday soon you’ll have tony

hawk on the pot to talk about that we do need to invite him uh in any case

um so thank you uh scummy steve for being on and yes and thank you to our producer

cameron thank you to uh crampy koala that tastes just like down under i know thank you too did you do in the

[Music] house

[Music] i’ve never played a video game in my

life i think that’s a big waste of money or end time and anybody who plays video games should probably kill themselves but like other than that

i’m on board with game of culture [Music]

other than that i’m on board with geek gamer culture

[Music]

uh my name is dr londonsmith (.com) and this has been the jock doc podcast see ya

hi kids you’re about to listen to comedy podcast that means that none of this is medical advice if you need medical advice and

medical care please contact your doctor brought to you by koala cola it tastes just like down under i’m

Krampy Koala take it away dj dylan welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr london smith dj dylan what the [ __ ] shut up now

don’t touch me dj dylan shut up while i record my intro introducing your host

hello and welcome to the jock doc podcast where we discuss fitness and health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine into our daily lives but without it being so boring i’m your host

Dr. london smith (.com) i would like to begin by apologizing to our listeners

we’ve received some feedback about the excessive amount of technical medical terms that i’ve been using such as pseudotumor cerebri and branded

content so i’ll try to temper my terminology to a simpler one in the future here to help with that is our producer

cameron hi dr london hey is that is that all you’re just

gonna say hey you’re not gonna maybe notice anything new about me or anything like that another yeah so

there’s um and i guess yeah the listeners can’t see but you do have yeah you’ve changed your

hair a little bit i’ve changed my hair a little bit and i you know what they say is if you

want to be a new person start with the haircut yeah so some people say like go to

college and you can kind of make a new identity but for you it’s just uh i guess yeah

enough spy movies have convinced me that all you have to do is change your hair and then you’re done every person that i’ve ever known and also have seen

on tv or anything i define them by their hair

so like today do i want to be a punk today do i want to be emo

dr london today do i want to be a doctor all of these things you can do just with

a hair style yeah the the doctor point especially is one where do you do you feel like there’s a typical

doctor i mean i know you call this your doctor this is my doctor haircut yes this is the haircut

that i use yeah for people who don’t know it’s sort of like it’s parted down the middle and it’s very flowy

it’s kind of like it’s purple with gradients it’s kind of like sawyer from lost if it yeah was purple

with gradients and it’s i mean granted you know it’s really got a lot of volume to it and it kind of

you know uh it waves around nicely but like i just um ready for the operating table

yeah it just doesn’t scream doctor to me i mean i’ve already prescribed a lot of

medicine today so i feel like that already proves you wrong

okay i you know what before we uh before we move on there i do want to

you know address uh so what you might have heard in that little medical disclaimer earlier

uh so we have we have a new um sort of sponsor we’re in a new podcast network called koala cola

and uh yeah sorry i won’t address this just in case it’s confusing for any new listeners so we used to you know belong to the

casey anthony podcast network we learned that there’s some suspicious things going on there

so we we decided to switch to a new network the qualacola podcast network and it’s been

so good it’s been great so it’s the most popular cola in australia as far as as far as

they’ve told us it is the most or it’s it’s at least the tastiest they said that it’s won every tasting contest that’s ever been around

they said they submitted it to a wine tasting contest and they won wow yeah so it’s you know it’s

great and one thing i just small detail would emphasize is that uh there’s no there are no koala parts

in it not you know there’s no glands they they did not take out the pancreas well and i’m also

i’m tired of having to dedicate so much time to the podcast to talking about how there’s definitely

no koala parts in this soda when you know that there’s no koala parts but now i’m sure you’ve seen the latest

rumors on twitter dr london now everyone’s talking about the juice the koala juice like oh they get koalas

and they kind of ring them and they get all the juice out of them and they put the koala juice in those sodas

all i can say about that is i mean guys if that were true then like is that really even a big

deal and it’s not true it’s not true it’s not

true i was gonna because contractually like yeah yeah i should just i’ll read it oh yeah

okay so um yeah so uh koala cola products contain no actual

koala and uh there’s there’s no need for further questioning on the matter

great that clarifies it for me just leave it alone yeah um anyway so that that’s our

producer cameron also with us is digital doctors doc doctor cameras our doctor and the

haircut because they’re here yeah which yeah so also with us i mean i don’t want

i don’t want to ask your haircut is more of a i don’t know like maybe like uber maybe

like an uber driver like a former uber driver who like you’re you can’t drive for uber

anymore because you’re you’re under four stars rating

yes that’s kind of like that your hair is sort of is that what you are

so it has been okay it has been quite a week um yeah it’s i mean short answer yes so

i i went to get a haircut and uh they buzzed off half of my hair and that’s of course

what we all think of when you think of uber driver uh i half of my hair is completely buzzed off

the other half is grown down to my ankles at this point and so i d

i didn’t even make the connection with a haircut but the very next day you know i show up to work someone else

you know now see someone with your haircut took took my job

at the hospital oh yeah i mean someone who was probably prepared probably got up this morning and and got themselves

the proper haircut that a doctor would need yeah so then i so so to i i spent

i guess the week just um kind of kind of sitting around trying to

play with electrical outlets uh just the kind of stuff that i guess the stuff you kind of get into when you

don’t have work yeah i know i i know yeah haven’t actually driven an uber well that’s really cool

dr london i’m glad that your your your lifestyle is matching with your hair

needs yeah uh and i know some people might be listening and think thinking wait is it normal for someone

who drives for uber i should clarify the haircut is uber

but i have not gotten that job either so i’m i’m kind

of you know it is a get the haircut for the job you want but um

anyway it’s it’s it’s it’s nothing uh but anyway so so also with us is digital in the house

[Music] so we used to you know belong to the casey anthony podcast network there are

some suspicious things going on there podcast network the casey neistat podcast network we decided to switch to

a new network [Music] network and it’s been so good

[Music] and it’s been

[Music]

and later cameron tells me we can expect a special guest that’s right dr london and i might even

perform open heart surgery on our guest since i’m a doctor for today

yeah just a spoiler alert i just don’t want anyone to be surprised if that happens

i’m just throwing that out there okay um sure i you know doctor doesn’t

necessarily mean open heart surgeon but it doesn’t not

mean that that’s that’s true it’s not exclusive in that way okay so um before we move on i would like to

address a bit of listener feedback this note comes from a lucky health inspector who visited the koala cola sewage

treatment facility who was tempted to say something bad about the conditions there but then changed his mind after spending

eight days in the mind-changing room so so that’s great to hear yeah that’s

pretty good to hear i’ve spent i oh i vacationed in the mind changing room once

and i came out of there i mean just just feeling fresh dr lynn like just so

like more refreshed than i had been in months yeah oh you were you loved it

as or at least oh i absolutely loved it and i came away um really appreciating sort of the sweet

and sour taste of koala cola great yeah so um the note reads quote i

am satisfied with my experience and suffered no physical harm during my assessment of these facilities

end quote well that’s so great to hear i i i just think that’s fantastic

that is great to hear but maybe this person’s asking like what do i talk about with my doctor when

i don’t have anything wrong with me because i’ve actually this is something i’ve actually struggled with too and i don’t think we’ve ever talked on the

show is that usually when i’m talking to my doctor we have something to talk about right like i’m like oh my foot thing is

touching my elbow thing or oh my elbow thing suddenly has sort of gone on the inside

of itself and we’re able to have this like back and forth conversation but then some days when i go there and

like i i’m doing fine like i have no idea what to talk about dr london

i’m just sitting there and the doctor’s like all right why’d you come in and i’m like oh gosh so did you see kermit on the mass singer

that was crazy and then you’ll keep them afterwards just talking about it i just

oh i just cringed thinking about it so what when nothing’s wrong with you and you’re doing just fine

and you’re going to your daily doctor meeting what do you what am i supposed to say to the doctors uh hello it’s usually

the first thing you’d say hello you might and this is a convention that might be dying out but you might shake their hand it depends

uh oh yeah it’s also a good way to spread disease so you know i’d say like maybe don’t go for

the handshake unless they go for it okay and then if they if they try to hug

you then i would i probably wouldn’t go for that um just generally with even if you think

the doctor is going to try to hug the patient i’m saying your doctor might try to hug

you oh yeah he’s a hugger he loves yeah well and because

also you are the doctor in this situation right that’s what you’re because of your hair

ooh i mean i am do doctors see doctors that actually is interesting paradox

that is a very interesting mathematical paradox that i haven’t considered what is a doctor’s doctor is that a

doctor a doctor a mega doctor doctor yeah is it a super dog these are

the kind of questions that i learned about in medical school you mean the barber shop

yes where my teacher’s at yeah okay anyway so for that listener uh thank you for

listening um and now for today’s medical topic alpha one anti-trypsin deficiency

alpha one anti-trypsin deficiency along with some of the other topics we’ve been covering is a cause of liver cirrhosis

so alpha-1 anti-trypsin deficiency we’ve talked about it before in the field of emphysema but it’s an inherited

disorder due to either an increase in the activity of a protease called elastase

or a deficiency in an antiprotease called alpha-1 enterotrypsin uh in so the

activity of that the deficiency of that in the lungs so normally uh elastase is released from

neutrophils and macrophages and digests human lung but it’s inhibited by alpha and

antitrypsin and that’s an enzyme that’s made and secreted from the liver so an alpha one antitrypsin deficiency

remember this is the one that normally would stop elastase from basically eating up liver

you can think of that enzyme as just being stuck in the liver it’s not allowed to leave and go to the lung so that lungs

elastase what why does thinking about that what what is what is thinking about

it being stuck contribute in any way so well that’s why your liver is

affected because otherwise you’re just thinking oh it’s a lung an issue with the lungs but the reason yeah yeah but you told

people to like imagine it and to picture it to conjure that image in their mind of something being stuck why what what

is the importance of those of it being stuck uh because it it acts sort of like a clog in the machine you can think of it

that way it messes with the liver well then maybe come up with something

just to spice things up maybe like a metaphor an allegory like it’s as clogged as

okay so you you think that it’s as stuck as you know the stick up your dr

london’s own little butt i feel like i already kind of went with a metaphor but you wanna you

specifically want a simile so yeah it’s it’s as

clogged as um the drain after uh cameron gets his hair cut

and all the hair goes into the drain oh that’s very funny um it’s wrong i mean

it’s rude and it’s wrong but that’s the kind of stuff that we can you know we’re friends and especially the fact

that you are half bald and then half cousin it feels a little judgmental yeah

um especially for an uber driver uh talking to a doctor but yeah go ahead yeah

and you know to your credit i guess a comment about the clogged sink from

from my hair would actually make more sense considering it goes down to my ankles but um in any case uh so

the lungs elastase has nothing to stop at eating away at the alveoli in the lungs because the alpha one is eating

away like like a what like a um like a lion like a lion eating uh

gazelle carnage like a well i was thinking maybe like a sheep okay yeah that true that like

you don’t think the sheep you think the sheep maybe that’s too it’s too like visually upsetting for people if we went

with sheep i not i think a lion devouring any creature is as about as graphic as anything else

would it fit more yeah would it fit more if it was like another big cat maybe if it was a ti if it was a lion taking down a tiger

uh no i think gazelle or sheep that sounds good because because you

wanted to be okay okay okay i think i’ve got it

oh you’ve got okay so um so the the lungs the last days has nothing

to stop eating away at the alveoli in the lungs and the liver and we like like a lion eating a gazelle or a sheep

in the lungs and the liver is overloaded with this alpha one antitrypsin so clinically like overloaded overloaded

like a guy like who was he was maybe he was like carrying too many groceries in

from the car yeah so the liver is overloaded like a guy carrying too many groceries from the car

with uh instead of groceries it would be alpha one anti-trips so clinically you would look

for a combination of liver disease and emphysema in a patient who’s non-smoker

they can also be smokers which would uh you know lower the age at which you see the presentation but it can happen

in non-smokers is a big point they may have a family history of copd at an early age because remember this is an

inherited disorder uh treatment is with in a family history a family history like

like uh like your family history like like your grandfather’s like yeah

getting the award for the smelliest american in the late 1800s so like your family

history is that yeah no might and

it’s a prestigious award by the way like people don’t they don’t hand that out to just anyone

oh yeah i mean i assume that’s what paid for your medical school yeah you know you you come from money i

assume that money came from sort of him touring around as the smelliest american but

that i’m just i’m not saying it’s bad i’m saying that’s your family history is that what you’re is that what you mean yeah yeah my

family history of copd like a family history of my grandfather

being the smelliest american unfortunately he did lose at the the world competition you know

national level oh yeah but he’s blown away by some of those other uh i don’t want to say smelly countries

because he’s these are individuals so uh but there are certain countries

where they learned to concoct the right diet to really get that pungent smell going

but in any case it’s the i mean it’s the it’s we can just say it i think it’s canadian

moose meat it’s people are consuming a lot of canadian moose meat for the con the canadians up up north

yeah and you know and they have a rotting moose smell it’s funny how we mentioned that because up north is great but so is down

under it tastes just like down under oh great um yes you did that

what you didn’t have to do that doctor i know but i i you prompted him you

queued him up i know but i we were so close that i figured i’ve i could see him trembling he was so

excited about it all right and i just wanted him to have his i’m done i’m done with this

so treatment is with replacement of the enzyme with inhaled aerosolized alpha-1 anti-trypsin

and if they smoke with smoking cessation lung and liver transplants are reserved for patients with end stage

hepatic or lung disease when liver transplant is done the donor liver is able to correct the alpha one

anti-trypsin deficiency because it’s a new liver without the inherited disorder

so that’s that’s a perk to it all right we’ll we’ll go ahead and move

on from there [Music]

all right uh cameron said that we have a guest today is that right yeah and uh dr london we actually you’re

gonna freak out over this but we actually have who a very very very very very special

and important person okay it’s a big guess it’s a huge guest and i mean that in

every way who do you who do you who do you think it might be i don’t want to get my hopes up here so

i would say get your hopes up okay so lead singer of train oh

that is a clo and that is extremely close but dr london we actually got

shaquilla we finally got shaquille o’neal shaq shaq himself i’m a huge fan of his memes

i know you’re the biggest mean fan the shaq meme fan you love the whole mandela effect thing

about uh kazam versus shazam you know yes oh i love it you’re such a huge fan

of those things and so we i mean we we have shaq shaq is in the studio

yeah we actually have him in the studio oh wait hold on hold on okay oh sorry

sorry my family has been like facetiming me and like hitting me up and texting me and it’s

been really annoying because like you buy the haircut well i i thought it was about the

haircut too but the problem is is that like the song my ringtone song is too fun

and so i end up listening to the whole thing instead of answering facetime calls

anyway okay i think i think actually i think actually uh they’re gonna swing by real quick just

real quick let’s get that out of the way let’s put the show on pause yeah for a sec uh

i’ll just if i so so yeah bring them in but i’m gonna so shaq yes wow you’re here yes

well no let’s let’s deal with the family stuff before we we will get to you shaq you you know

he was hey cameron oh hey oh i love your hair oh thank you so much when did you become

a doctor this morning wow like i just did it this is your and this goes way back to

our early episodes but this is your aunt and niece cameron is that right yes she is both uh an

aunt and that is that is an that is a a type of family member and then she is

also my niece which is also a family member how are you london i’m i’m okay lately

it’s my job’s been i’ve been in a sort of weird situation with work but shaq yes wow

oh cassie can we get a picture yes no cassie if you could just not he’s three inches taller than me i’ve

never met anyone three inches taller than me i know and you finally met someone who could dunk a basketball

harder than you can dunk a basketball and that’s awesome okay now you both he’s getting upset over that so i’m so

i’m so sorry shaq i’m so sorry cassie you can’t bother the guests they don’t like it

so and sorry for the listener we don’t have enough mics for everyone here so i so

that’s why shaq isn’t currently on mic contractually we are required to give one to to crampy it tastes just

like donut okay crampy if you could just just go ahead and he’s cute no don’t don’t jump it’s really

okay don’t know okay get off of me get off of me no get off crampy crampy yeah you just

gotta swat them away okay okay anyway which i was gonna say

that is kind of like i don’t know why i got miked up like it took 20 minutes to get miked up

like they went all the way through my clothes and it’s like i’m actually just here to drop off my invitations to you guys to

my housewarming party oh so yeah i heard about this on next

door you just moved huh yes i moved south wow all the way south

yes yeah what yes you do need to be a little bit careful it is kind of a rough

neighborhood so just don’t bring anything valuable don’t bring anything that you treasure right just kind of

leave that behind because yeah it is kind of a rough area

so it would be best to watch your back at this party and if you guys could bring like

kindling that would be good because here’s the deal you guys remember

back in february the middle of america froze to death oh yeah i definitely remember

that i definitely had a if i mean our cousin well i guess like my cousin

and your uh nephew’s cousin’s niece’s aunt

froze in an ice cube it was very sad extremely sad yeah so i just kind of

realized like this place is not for me and so i packed my family up and i moved

south took the elevator down and yeah it’s not a good neighborhood no

i don’t get along with my neighbors yeah i built a living fence to keep them kind of at bay who are

who are your neighbors what what why do you why do you have such issues with your neighbors they’re just the most evil people you

could ever imagine i mean they’re always screaming at me about my dog i’m like are you kidding me everyone has

their dogs running around around here when you say that you move down south and you also say that you got an

elevator and went down so you know south is a it’s a sort of

horizontal city like you uh you’re moving how do i say you’re

moving i just struggle to find a way to describe this maybe down under is a better

god it’s just i oh my gosh but because of my renaults

i i needed to get somewhere warm and it’s like i just need to be in a

climate that i can grow my tropical plants and it’s like i’m in probably zone 89

which texas where i used to live is zone eight so you

cannot imagine the tropical plants that i’m growing down here and for people who don’t know

cassie of course struggles with raynaud’s disease which means when she’s chilly her feet

go purple and hands and hands which can be very

difficult um kids calling you grimace hands and all these things yeah

it hurts my joints like it actually does hurt my joints when it’s cold like i literally feel like i’m freezing

sometimes but not anymore because i moved south

you keep saying south and it’s like this this mysterious well just the elevator down is that what

south is for you yeah yeah like how long did it take to move south

is i think maybe the better question the standard eight months um

i think it took about 10 weeks the elevator ride down ah okay and it was moving that entire

time yes which y’all will have to take it down

so i have instructions on the invitation about where to find it but i don’t want

to talk about it on the podcast because i don’t want your listeners finding me like i’m already dealing with enough trust me

no that’s fine it’s just i don’t know i mean i know dr london and i have like tickets to go to

see different shows and stuff and if it’s gonna take 10 weeks on an elevator to get to your house i just

some of these tickets is aren’t refundable yeah i mean like we are we’re going to swan lake we’re going to duck lake we’re going to

um goose great lakes yeah going to the great lakes like all these different ballets and

we’re not into ballet but we we’re going there to study because uh well cameron wanted to get

really he wanted to he wanted both of us to get more agile so he could be better at football

and the way you’re the best way to do that i’ve seen in shows is to take ballet

and so we thought just real quick i also had decided that i could stand on my tippy toes a lot longer than any

ballerina yeah and so once again because if you start watching them

yeah exactly because if you see ballerinas are cheating because they have that two-two thing

right so that’s what keeps them balanced right they’ve got like the big hoopy tutu so if i just get a bigger one of

those i can stand on my tippy toes all day long i have one in the back of my car

oh perfect but but anyways no listen it’s because i had

to get to your house no i had to take the elevator because i had all my belongings with me you guys can take the

shoot oh and how how quick is that that’s like three and a half minutes but

you go really really really fast and that’s like another warning like you need to

wear masks not just because of covid but like your skin to keep your eyes off yeah

yeah exactly so all the details are in the invitation that’s why it’s like pretty thick and you probably should

start reading it now because the party’s in three weeks and it’s a pretty hefty one

well yeah your invitation has chapters like it has an index here i mean a table of contents you have

correct introduction um you have the chute

and to not to do’s yes you’ve got snacks poisonous versus non-poisonous how did

you get charles manson to write the forward to this well i did move south

ah okay yeah okay that’s that’s that makes sense so

um uh i guess you know for a housewarming party this sounds pretty involved

i’ve been to housewarming parties before um where they didn’t require us to you know

read a well this is i was going to say encyclopedia but i’ve had encyclopedias that were a lot less thick than this

invitation i guess that’s true but it says right here that it’s gonna be an epic event could you say that any of the

house parties you’ve been to in the past were epic events uh oh let’s see yeah so i went to i know

uh okay no no you’re right you’re right all right so i mean i feel like it’s

covered right here in the invitation dr london he’s got to keep your eyes open and your mind open

and i guess our two years of friendship mean nothing to you yeah that is true i i didn’t want to

bring that up because i didn’t want any hostility but cassie here had sent you a christmas

gift the last two years of a little a little box with seven ants in it and from my understanding you

didn’t even send her a thank you you didn’t get her an ipod like you didn’t get her anything yeah and the sudden it’s fine like we

don’t have to talk about it but i wanted to i think we should talk about it it’s okay i mean

i mean did it hurt your feelings cassie yeah it tastes just like down under crampy i

swear if you do not get down i’m going to lose it i’m

going to lose my mind okay just it’s the lat it’s the

cheekiness of the laughs that really gets it it’s that it’s so smarmy it’s so ugh yeah it’s like

he knows he’s condescending yeah um i don’t even want to look at his direction like

don’t at all so if you make eye contact with him he’ll immediately start talking

yeah i know the opposite of what anyone wants oh i like this invitation

it’s it sounds fun like it sounds like it could be a fun party you know going going south or even

down under you might call it uh it tastes just dope no okay just

you prompted him like you didn’t have to do that i know there was no reason to say go

under bringing in the brand all right so um you know look i i hate

to interrupt this you love it you love to interrupt but uh you know we got to get these

chores done and cameron would you mind explaining to cassie i don’t know if you if you’re familiar with our system here

oh right so we okay so i know that you ever since

you know you uh you were my little aunt and i was your little niece or vice versa uh you’ve always said that

i’m just like crazy messy and unfortunately dr london here is crazy messy too and we have been

neglecting all of our chores for a really long time and so we haven’t

like taken out the goose like we haven’t uh like uh uh drain

we haven’t praised the goose we haven’t um there’s another goose across the street that we have

we’ve meant to crown the goose [Music] we haven’t drained any of the nostrils

or anything like that and so we have created this fun chore wheel that we spin every single week and whatever it lands

on whatever chore it is we have to do it and cassie actually since you’re well i mean should cassie

do this or should shaq do this i’m way too cold let me just tell you i am up here uh no it’s not going to work

for me shaq step in please shaq if shaq if you and we’ll we’ll interview

you here in a second check okay calm down god he’s being a little pushy for sure

it’s what okay okay uh uh yeah shaq if you can just go ahead and spin the chore wheel that would be great

yes it’s like this actually it looks like it’s spinning away

[Music] okay it came off the vengeance

why did we keep the door open i should have typed who was in charge of tightening that

bolt oh i mean our bolt guy probably did you pay the bulk guy this month

i didn’t well first of all didn’t pay but also i bet titaning the bolt was on the chore wheel ah yep well at least shaq is

running to go get it at least well i bet dr lynn can you pull out your binoculars i bet you can see what it landed on

yeah i can do that uh okay so i see it landed on

oh no not this one okay oh gosh i knew it was gonna be this one plan the mayor’s proposal to his

girlfriend ah no i knew this one would have to come up it had to obviously yeah

so i mean i guess it’s you know i guess we don’t have to explain it too much it’s kind of end the title there but uh the mayor

is you know just like he’s terrible at planning everything else he’s extremely terrible at planning his own

engagement he’s going to be proposed to his longtime girlfriend miss mayer yeah and

it’s frustrating that it falls on us uh but of course it does we wouldn’t have taken the position

of you know hosts of the jock talk podcast if we didn’t want this kind of responsibility

yeah or just like it comes with inherent territory i would say i didn’t want this kind of responsibility but it does come

with it yes yeah and cassie can you yeah help us out with this a little bit cause you’re a

lot better i mean you’re already planning your own housewarming party i know you’re like a

party theme can you can you help plan this engagement i’m not saying anything

right now because i honestly don’t support

miss mayer marrying mr mayor i think she can do better in

fact i know she can do better so okay well you think it’s just the

position it’s the power that that’s the only reason she’s she’s drawing i think she could be miss president

if i’m doing real with you wow what how about this what if we incorporate that into the proposal that

vibe that feeling you have about it yeah i was like immediately thinking i’m going to find out when they planned

this and set up across the street you know what i’m saying

you’re gonna have a better proposal over there and hope that that miss mayor goes that direction instead

no i was going to have kind of like a picketing type of situation uh well okay okay i mean if you’re

you know you’re saying whatever they did you’ll pick it on the other side what if if

you’re on the inside if you’re on the ground floor planning it then surely there’s a way to

you know bring your will about in this somehow or what if being what if the engagement

like is themed around uh miss mayor being out of mr mayor’s league and how mr

mayor is kind of like a low quality guy i do kind of like that

aspect maybe maybe this is like a mini booths type of situation like

she walks down and there are many booths that she has to stop at first you know like check-ins like are

you sure okay yeah so that sounds great are we talking like carnival booths

yes that’s exactly what i was thinking like a long line of them a long line of carnival cars some of

them could be games just light-hearted so i have an idea for one of for the first time okay

okay okay so for the first one it will be a koala cola stand so that she can have

something nice to drink the whole time she’s walking through i think that makes a lot of sense i think also

when you think about the refreshing taste of koala cola it also makes you want to have koala chips koala cola’s brand new uh

snacks they are salty and they’re sweet and they’re great to eat and uh yeah i

mean i think i think just that combo is you can’t beat it dr london it tastes just like down under if

what does down under taste like you keep saying it let’s hear it what does it taste like it

tastes like the freshing taste of koala i like barks

you like barks you said you’re like a barks root beer oh yeah major i would never leave my

barks is that sort of i mean is that something we want to incorporate into this proposal

will that be the next booth well no i mean that’s just a chapter in the invitation but we don’t have to go back to that

that’s true we don’t want to steal ideas from your from my house yeah i know that’s also what’s hard yeah that’s what’s hard

is like i’m already planning an event okay so and i don’t even really want this event to go down well then this is

this is where we can help out right because maybe we can nudge miss mayor in a direction of saying no

to mayor like maybe the second booth presenter with both opportunities before it’s just like

the pageantry the roses the flowers mr mayor standing there in his teal suit

like let’s sure let’s do that but let’s also kind of bring in like you

know mr mayor’s kind of not that great yeah what if like you know we

had the second carnival booth what if it’s one of those games where there’s a bunch of balloons and you’re throwing darts at it right

but underneath the balloons are pictures of mr mayor next to his much more attractive cousins

okay and so the more she you know is throwing the darts and revealing it it slowly reveals

uh sort of how ugly mr mayor is compared to his handsome cousins and maybe somehow we can make her think

about like her genetics passing on you know like what do you want your children to look

yeah the next booth okay oh the next booth okay yeah so what do

you got london so first booth was she’s sipping on this koala coal this really refreshing drink

second booth she’s popped some balloons learned that there are better options out there

the third booth she walks up and it’s one of those water gun ones right so she’s trying to hit the target

and what was our goal here i was really sorry i get distracted by the perspective to show how bad their

genetics would be together yeah so she

if she gets it and the prize that she gets whenever she wins that is a stuffed animal with one of those

um uh the one of those things where they they merge faces

yes yes and so the stuffed animal has that face it’s subtle except for the whole body

yeah it’s subtle so it’s a very deformed creature basically well there needs to be a

there needs to be a point of comparison like there needs to maybe be another stuffed animal that has the face of miss

mayor combined with uh the president with the president yeah yeah

and that one will obviously be a very attractive yeah just like a super handsome one and that’ll show her like you know

there’s better looking options out here but what if my here’s my worry is that she’s not

interested in the looks she’s interested in him as a person which is that disgusts me to even

say oh i might imagine

there’s no way she’s into him for that what about justin just in case she likes

him for who he is we’ve got to ruin that with the fourth booth okay i mean i uh hypothetically i’m

gonna go with you on this one but uh like i’ve seen a lot more believable marvel movies

uh what if it’s i mean movies that makes me think of maybe having a big video screen

and we’re showing sort of graphic footage of mr mayor using the bathroom or being really sick

sort of things that would make anyone who would look at it be so disgusted by them as a person

i just feel like that crosses boundaries like we can do this without going that low like if we go that low we’re no

better than mr mayer so what if she’s into his vibes because that’s possible i’ve seen him

before oh so we need to we need to ruin the vibes

his ankle um break his ankles that’s what i think that’s what i would

do so so this the fit that the fifth booth and where we gotta kill the vibe why

aren’t we using footage of the many many times he’s cheated on miss mayor like why are we

well you said not to stoop low i feel like that’s factual though and although like

using the restroom violently yeah that’s factual like drinking too much barks and getting the

barks sharks yeah that’s factual like that’s gonna happen yes so booth number five

will just be explicit footage of him cheating on her but i

i feel like this stuff comes down to personal opinion like i don’t think that cheating at monopoly is

should be taken as seriously as people take it like i don’t think relationships should end based on that

well hard disagree on my part no that’s i’ve getting you’re breaking that you’re

trust have you cheated monopoly i guess that there is a question i mean yeah i’m not gonna lie in the past you know i have

cheated at monopoly ah wow crampy can you believe this that doesn’t define me as a person though

doesn’t it i mean sure if you think that’s gonna kill the vibe for her it’s just just

seeing all this footage of him sneaking money out of the bank or shuffling the the uh because she’ll play his banker oh

he’ll always play sure yeah do not even think about it that’s

it it just doesn’t seem appropriate um but yeah like if it kills the vibe i say just go

with it even though i disagree what if we did we did it like a little episode of

cheaters and cameron you can be joey greco okay and it’s like we have footage of

him cheating at monopoly and it’s like we show it to her you know what i’m saying it’s like a play

kind of so and so that’s the fifth booth the fifth booth is more interactive it’s

more three-dimensional well it’s only interactive in the sense

that you show up yeah oh yeah it adds like a 3d environment to it because it’s not just the footage now

it’s about me pointing at the footage but cameron you’re in the car ride over yeah

it’s not it’s not her walking in on yeah yeah yeah well i

i was gonna say because it’s on cheaters the thing would be like you walk in on them cheating right

that’s that’s the thing so in this instance it’s just walking around oh right because i don’t know i’m cheating i don’t know when they play

monopoly or anything like that i i still think it’s powerful

easier to just use the footage i mean do we want to yeah sixth and final so like let’s say let’s say she somehow

actually makes it to the sixth one without being so disgusted that she’s already walked away

the only way would be through the power of koala cola she’s sipping on the whole time it’s it

tastes just like just to listen to that okay can i try some because i need to know what down under tastes like

it does it does taste really amazing and it’s very refreshing perfect with koala chips

it doesn’t have anything have any quality parts um i get it and i pro

there are no it will not give you the bark shards

well that’s a relief because i mean it sounds like the way you admit brought that up before it sounded

like that was maybe sort of a consistent aspect of your life huh i wasn’t gonna bring it up but yeah it’s

okay you can be honest on this show you can be honest with us we’re family i think i might have a problem with

barks you you know you know with who oh okay the refreshing taste of koala cola

yeah just switch to koala cola and you’ll be so much and instead of bark

shards you will be getting what we call koala mode which is sort of this jittery feeling

you get after consuming too much koala cola and that just adjusts enough when you

start just enough like you’ve gone full koala mode that to me is the lesson to have another

koala cola but that look i i just feel like you’re gonna sound like the sixth one

i mean i feel like at this point if you get to the sixth one maybe the sixth booth is like just a

gun okay i was gonna say trapdoor but uh

so i was just gonna say a gun and is that is that telling miss mayor that if you actually are going to fall for

this guy then you might as well just off yourself or is that for miss mayor to who has realized how awful the mayor is

that she’s going to take the gun and kill him or is it for me to take the gun and to shoot dr london so they can

finally take his open-heart surgeries away from him these are there’s so many options that you can do and it allows that like kind

of flexibility depending on the situation cameron i know you’re obsessed with guns but i actually think the best solution is to

have mr president there period he’s in the city mr president

yeah and what and he’s making a final plea please don’t do this yeah i mean he’s

just or is he is he gonna propose i’m i feel like maybe we make it look

like a proposal but it’s just like let’s get to know each other so it’s one of those like

come here come here and each of them is saying come here and that’s whoever she goes to at that

point yeah i mean that sounds like yeah i think ultimately yeah that’s i think she

really likes that yeah yeah okay come here here girl yeah and that way

you’re still giving her choice like you’re giving her the freedom to make her choice

but it’s now it’s between mr mayor mr president and maybe like a hundred mannequins dressed up exactly like mr

mayor just in case as like a backup yeah that sounds fine okay well i feel like we’ve really taken

that one down um cassie if you want to go ahead and uh

wring out the chore wheel to the point that it’s oh sorry sorry it’s already gone uh shaq shaq’s gonna have to destroy it

do you want to radio him real quick uh yeah shaq shot come in

[Music] okay yeah so go ahead can you destroy the the wheel i think he got stuck

[Applause]

okay so so um anyway so just do the best you can we really we got a show to do so like

uh just figure it out yeah okay um so anyway he’ll be he’ll be back

and we can actually start the show in a second um so in any case for the moment i guess

um thank you to uh cassie for coming on and giving us the invitation to this this

housewarming party um yeah thank you to uh our producer cameron

thank you to you doing the hose

you guys remember back in february the middle of america froze to death

so i just kind of realized like this place is not for me and so i packed my family up and i moved

south took the elevator down and yeah it’s not a good neighborhood

well i don’t get along with my neighbors yeah i built a living fence to keep them

[Music] we i get i just struggled to find a way to

describe this maybe down under his analogy but because of my renaults

i i needed to get somewhere warm and [Music]

89 where i used to live

Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast. That means that none of this is medical

advice if you need medical voice

and medical care please contact your

doctor welcome to the jock doc

podcast featuring dr london smith

the only podcast contractually obligated

to say the words koala cola it tastes

just like down under within the first 25

seconds of the episode

introducing your host dr london

smith hello and welcome to the jock doc podcast

part of the koala cola network where we

discuss fitness and health

and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host dr. London Smith (.com)

i’d like to begin by apologizing to our

listeners we’ve received

some feedback about the excessive amount

of technical medical terms that i’ve been

using such as lymphadenopathy and a snake

sneaks to seek a snack so i’ll try to

temper my terminology to a simpler one

in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron oh

hi dr london hey

you sound a little down are you all

right no i’m not i’m not down at all i’m

i’m

i’m happy i’m just like content i’m full

of

love and life and i’ve i feel rested

it’s just i’ve had

it’s been a crazy week for me yeah could

you remind me what

what made your week so crazy um i know

you were texting me a lot

well i was you know reconnected

with um someone i honestly didn’t even

know they existed they found me

but i actually met my grandchild wow

oh i i didn’t realize i mean i know

you’ve had some

like mix-ups with chilled having

children but

you have a grandchild yeah this guy

he drove over to my house and he

knocked on the door didn’t know who he

was from adam thought he was probably

selling something

but you know what dr london i said yes

to opening that door

i didn’t say oh get away from me oh go

away

i said yes to a new experience which is

this man knocking on my door

and so i open the door and he tells me

hey my name’s max

and i’m your grandson

and uh it’s been it’s been a wild week

so you he just said that he was did he

like

did he say this is you know this is my

lineage this

my my parents are so and so and then did

you think oh yeah

i remember having that child i mean i

just met him i don’t i’m not gonna ask

like who are your parents to people who

i

just met like last week

yeah so it’s just it’s just one of those

things where

i mean do you know do you know how

grandchildren

happen like you know their their parents

and they have their children

okay and that those children have to

you know go with someone and then have

their own children and that’s how

grandchildren happen so you’re saying

there’s probably a kid of mine that i

don’t know about too

i well i’m saying that’s really that’s

the only way i can imagine this

happening is there’s got to be

their parent has to be your child is

what i’m getting at

i mean i guess that makes sense but

i i guess i don’t understand what the

issue is

yeah just if you’re saying i shouldn’t

have paid for

this guy’s college i’m not i’m not

necessarily

saying that because that sounds like a

good deed and especially in in these

times that’s

really good of you to hear because um my

funds came from a very specific

place i don’t know and you but it’s for

a good cause

so yes but

okay did did you take this money from me

because we have our patreon account

where we make

we make a lot of money through that yeah

but i know that you have a habit of

going through

to my personal finances well no it’s all

won

now the patreon money in your bank

account is the same thing i i went ahead

and did that

i oh it it’s it’s almost like you’re

expecting me to say thank you right now

but i

yeah i mean i would say like thank you

or you look handsome today

like i i think these are things that

could be said more often

for sure yeah okay i just

so anyway my yeah so you have your yeah

my grandkid max

he you know he was talking about like uh

what it was like to grow up in the 70s

and like um you know like he went to

woodstock when he was like only a kid

you know what i mean

yeah and like um just sort of like how

crazy it was

huh you sure he’s your grandson uh

and you’re sure that he spent that

college money on college well i mean

i don’t how i i’m not 23 and me i guess

i don’t understand how i would answer

that question like i don’t

you want to take my blood you’re the

doctor

yeah these are i feel like even at the

most basic questions it really is

getting you stumped so

to ask anything complicated i don’t see

this getting like i’ve given you just a

lot of details to already work with a

man showed up on my doorstep

he said i’m your grandson i need money

for college

and then you start talking about how

great the 70s were and then we got like

really drunk

and we’ve just been hanging out most of

the week

yeah okay what’s up so i mean on a basic

level there

uh you know i don’t want to get into our

ages on this but

like you were you were born after the

70s correct

oh yeah i mean that’s some numbers yeah

i’m not i’m not stupid

yeah you know what anyway we can move on

from there if that

like you know unless you need to no i

mean you

you just you asked why i was acting the

way i was acting that’s

i yeah my life is full of love and

purpose now suddenly i

i have a i have a drive i have something

to work towards and take care of

yeah i mean which which translated into

you just taking my money and giving the

patreon money

which is yes combined with both of our

bank accounts

it’s all one pot now uh so so that’s our

producer cameron um

also with us says did you do in the

house

but i actually met my grandchild

[Music]

a man showed up on my doorstep he said

i’m your grandson

i need money for paula and they start

talking about how great the 70s

and then we got like really drunk and

we’ve just been hanging out most of the

week

but i actually met my grandchild

but i actually met my grandchild

[Music]

but i actually met my grandchild but i

actually met

my grant but i actually met but i

actually

met but i but i but i but i am

[Music]

i is met my grandchildren

and later cameron tells us that we could

expect some special guests

that’s right dr london yeah great so

look forward to that um

but before we move on i would like to

address a bit of listener feedback

this note comes from one lucky factory

worker

at the koala cola kids zone whoa scrape

the mold

yeah from the sides of enough vats have

used koala cola

to mail in their question to the jock

doc podcast

so congratulations to this lucky koala

cola scraper

and maybe we should i mean explain for

people who might not be familiar

oh yes we we joined a new podcast

network just a few episodes ago on

episode 100

and we are on the official

podcast network of koala cola the

australian

soda company it tastes

and that that right there is crampy

koala

he’s been hanging out with us a little

bit

and it’s been great it’s been fine and

it’s been great it’s been easy to deal

with it’s

easy to deal with and it’s not

just a problem just a problem

that’s fine crampy go yep just go yeah

yeah just sit down over there

dj dylan just sit can you just please

sit mute his microphone just mute his

microphone

okay great barrier reef

just okay it’s okay it nails on a

chalkboard man i just yeah

i just i mean it was it was cute for

anyway um so so congratulations to this

lucky question

i think it was cute dude i think it was

the koala cola like i think it

it like changed the way i was thinking

oh oh and you know that brings up one

little point that we should bring up and

i just

it’s contractual uh so there’s there are

no koala parts

pieces of koala in koala cola uh

you know some people ask that and it’s a

funny question but it’s really a

misleading one

so we just want to let everyone know

real quick there’s there are no

quals in there and also that no factory

workers are harmed the uh

the koala cola kids zone is actually a

really child friendly environment

um you know these are just things that

kind of get twisted

yeah and you know there there was a lot

of talk

about um the the bin outside of the

qualacola factory that was labeled koala

limbs

but that those are just limbs like

tree limbs yeah that they were planning

on

giving to koalas so they could climb all

over

yeah they love that stuff they love that

stuff

it tastes just like their laundry not

that it matters because there’s no

koalas

in the factory no we’re talking about

just like yeah just wild

koalas like 50 miles away from the

factory

it’s just a brand yeah you know it’s

they they so that’s that looks personal

yeah that’s what the limbs were for

yeah um so anyway the note reads quote

please help me

i have breathed in so much mold i keep

copying coughing up small creatures like

that kid in stranger things

and this is an interesting i mean

phenomenon dr london

like the sort of like uh you know how

it’s rained frogs before in the past

like they’ll have tadpoles or whatever

that get evaporated up because they’re

so tiny and then sort of develop

a little bit and then fall and like

weird stories like that

in the same way if you breathe in enough

mold

well mold is alive dr london it’s it’s

it’s not dead it is a living breathing

thing

yeah usually yeah but it’ll cause

infection yeah it’ll be

trying to grow just like bacteria in

your lungs can can grow which is also

alive and it’s just a living thing

yeah and that’s why you an infection is

essentially a living multiplying

you know group group of creatures and so

in this case

yeah just to that listener it’s

completely normal

and uh i mean i consider this

new creature that’s come out of you as

maybe a friend

i know it might be a hard adjustment if

you don’t have pets or you’re not used

to it

but it’s it can be difficult but it’s

worth it

yeah and so i you know medically i would

definitely say like you know if you

think you have a

fungal infection in your lungs like you

should just have that looked at

but um you know as cameron said i don’t

know the whole situation

uh if you aren’t if you don’t like if

you’ve never had a dog

if you’ve never had a cat right you know

you might be unfamiliar with how

you know how pets work so uh i just

it’s one of those things where you know

unless i see you in my office it’s

really hard to tell

so uh i guess to this list what you’re

gonna be doing

going forward is the listener questions

you’re just gonna recommend that they

come into your office and give you money

i well i mean for this one this one

scraped up enough

of the mold to to get their question

answered so i don’t want to just

but but like based on what i know so far

either of our answers can be correct

either they do need to come in and this

is actually a serious problem

or possibly it’s a pet are you hoping

that it’s like a girl like are you

trying to meet someone is that what this

is

no no that’s not usually how i how i

approach these

no that’s um i thank you for

for assuming that i’m but but no i uh

anyway so let’s um so we’d love to hear

back from our listeners but um

thank you for listening thank you for

the feedback and i hope you

you scrape you scrape all those vats and

you keep having a great time

and i hope yeah i just hope you have a

good time in general i hope you have a

good day

yeah um now for today’s medical topic

primary biliary cholangitis primary

biliary cholangitis along with some of

the other topics we’ve been covering

is a cause of liver cirrhosis primary

biliary cholangitis is a chronic and

progressive cholestatic liver disease

characterized by the destruction of

intrahepatic bile ducts with portal

inflammation and scarring

so unlike primary sclerosing cholangitis

and i believe we talked about that last

week primary biliary cholangitis

primarily occurs in women

and is located more in the bile ducts

within the liver

so you won’t see it on imaging sexist

it’s uh if and you this is you promote

this you give this to people you

what do you do with this no this is a

disease i i don’t have a hand in it

this disease has a i guess a

predilection for women

i don’t that’s not that’s not what i do

i only diagnose

you’re like the wing man that’s all

you’re doing so you’re you don’t feel

like you did anything wrong no

i’m i’m more the one who who walks in af

after after the fact you know like i

just see that something has happened and

i’m the one who’s

you know called in to deal with it if

that

if that makes sense uh i mean it just

i don’t know man it just sounds like uh

is this someone you’re trying to get

into your office too who is this

this isn’t one person this is one this

is a disease not a pro any case so um

so you won’t see it on imaging uh some

people remember that it’s for women by

and well now you’re gonna hate me okay

uh they they remember it because

they associate the b in pbc of primary

bali and cholangitis

with uh there’s another word for ladies

that that also begins with the b

um and so that was important to put into

your lesson

that’s it’s a medical mnemonic it’s

sometimes helpful for people to remember

that this one unlike the other one is

more in women

and the only way is is because of what

s it’s it’s pvc is the the initials of

the disease and then the p

in it the b is uh

there’s another word yeah um

and it it’s that you’re fine with this

i it’s just a way to remember it’s it’s

the name it’s also known you’re just

saying well it’s a sexist disease so

what are you expecting is that

is that your response to it i like

i guess i mean more or less like i

suppose that that is

i we just met we see it how it is and we

just report on it you know what i mean

i guess i mean this whole podcast seems

to be like

you trying to remove yourself from all

these diseases that you keep causing

people

and like giving to people okay i should

just i’m not

i didn’t do anything yes so i didn’t i

haven’t given

anyone this disease or as far as i’m

aware i don’t think i’ve given people

any of the diseases that we’ve talked

about

but um in any case uh primary biliary

cholangitis is a slowly progressive

autoimmune disease with a variable

course that is often associated with

other autoimmune disorders

and most commonly presents in women in

their 40s or 50s

clinically patients may present with

fatigue and itching

with labs showing normal bilirubin and

an elevated alkaline phosphatase

the most characteristic features of

biliary primary biliary cholangitis are

xanthelasma and xanthoma which are uh

they’re terms for a collection of

cholesterol under the skin that’s

yellowish in color

so i can appear around the eyelids and

that kind of thing

these patients may also have

osteoporosis so along with these they

could also have symptoms of

liver disease such as portal

hypertension and jaundice because

remember this is

one of the causes of cirrhosis

diagnostic testing includes liver biopsy

which is the most accurate test

but the most accurate blood test is the

anti-mitochondrial antibody

uh bilirubin igm levels uh may be

elevated and very advanced disease

abdominal if you call that like to

remember antibody you

call that like [ __ ] or something

no this is what you doctors do behind

closed doors yes

no so i do try to you know keep uh

i don’t try to use those mnemonics all

the time there are a few that

for whatever reason they they stuck and

so

you know pbc you tend to the the b in it

you just

you remember and why not use the c

the c is also a word

uh it’s just different

in any case um uh so so

uh abdominal ultrasound or ct scan can

be used to rule out biliary obstruction

uh because that can also be a cause of

some of these symptoms um

treatment is with ursodeoxycholic acid

or

uh obetacolic acid which is uh that

decreases the fibrosis along with

treating the osteoporosis

so depending on the severity severity of

the disease um

a liver transplant may also be necessary

[Music]

and it’s you’re not even gonna attempt

to try to like come up with something

better than

[ __ ]

what about c for chick

well yeah i guess that’s not that’s not

all like a little better

um yeah now that i’m hearing it

anyway it seems like all these people

that you’re giving these diseases

like i feel like if you’re gonna be in

sort of a risky

job like that you have to at least

respect your patients

like you can’t be barging in and saying

what’s up [ __ ]

yeah no and that’s not really how it

it’s it’s just a way to remember

to differentiate this disease from

another one that’s pretty similar

that but we can it would be all right if

we just

we could address it later maybe but and

bring it back but let’s move on for now

maybe what what if you ass what if you

accidentally think the b

is for boy yeah doesn’t that probably

make more sense than assuming

oh it’s for women so it’s got to be

[ __ ] well that’s why we memorize it

like i’ve memorized what it is

that it’s not a boy that it’s it’s that

yeah

so you can memorize that it’s that the b

here is not boy it stands for [ __ ] but

you can’t remember

pbc at this point i think i could but it

and maybe you’re right maybe i’m just

passing on the wrong lesson

um oh boy uh but yeah we could if we

want to go ahead and move on from there

do you want to like maybe apologize to

koala cola

yes yes i should um yeah so uh

you know on behalf of the jock talk

podcast uh i i apologize to koala cola

for

um you know if i misrepresented their

brand um which

you know their strong position is that

they do not want to get cancelled that’s

a big position they have

and i the last thing i want is to

contribute to a cancellation of

uh their their wonderful brand so uh

and we appreciate being business

partners with them so and

i don’t think it would hurt to mention

like just while we’re on the subject

like look was there a sack found outside

the koala cola factory

that like was oozing with some sort of

red liquid that was coming out of the

bottom

absolutely sure i don’t think anyone is

even denying that that happened

and that’s normal but that what i mean i

mean like

okay my car’s leaking oil do you assume

that there are you know dead koalas in

the trunk like

things things leak it’s crazy there’s

stuff everywhere there are so many

puddles of things

like why are you so obsessed with this

one puddle

it is weird how obsessed people can be

about people are obsessed with this red

puddle that was underneath this sack

outside of the koala coal effect

it’s honestly it’s creeping me out get

over it yeah get a life

uh anyway um so we can move on from

there then

i think we’ve covered our bases pretty

well

all right cameron you said that we have

a guest today or is it two guests or one

ooh

that is an interesting question um i

mean i guess let’s

see like if we okay you take out the

rolodex if we take

sophie so you still use a rolodex if you

do x

because if a equals a plus b equals okay

then

so i’ll just so i’ll just say say hi to

them yeah oh yeah i’m sorry i’m

i’m lost in my math yeah no i know you

get that way um well

hello there my name is dr

londonsmith.com and this is our producer

cam hi

what was your name my name is colin

o’donnell i am so excited to be here

today

great and cameron can i just say you

have one of the most sexy voices

i’ve ever heard in my life oh wow thank

you so much

i i mean did you practice that

or obviously the sexiest voice on those

podcasts is dj dylan’s

yes and i don’t want to take that away

from him but it’s really nice of you to

pretend that mine is is sexier i’m not

pretending no i’m

i’m seriously sitting here no we’re

gonna get into legal trouble here if we

keep doing that because it really is dj

dylan’s voice

yes i just have to say it’s just

absolutely gorgeous

if we don’t continuously sort of affirm

how hot dj dylan is

he edits the podcast into nonsense

okay well dj dylan if you’re listening i

am sure

okay well okay well okay well dj dylan

if you’re listening you have one of the

most sexy voices

i’ve ever heard in my life dj dylan

voices most sexy dj dylan voices most

sexy dj dylan dj dylan dj dylan dj dylan

dj dylan voices most sexy

dj dylan voices most sexy dj voices most

sexy

yeah well and though he is in the corner

there uh you know

djing this as we speak so i i just i

don’t want to be um

there’s the imminent threat of every we

don’t want to cross him we’ve never done

it and i don’t

i’m just so scared of what could happen

if we he’s going to screw up all the

episodes we know exactly what he’s going

to do

yeah he’s threatened and it’s once it’s

in the contract and we it’s why we’ve

we’ve

it’s been smooth sailing so far so uh mr

o’donnell i don’t want to be

uh but like let’s if we could just you

know

i’d love the flattery but like keep it

aimed at the right place because

a lot is on the line here but i i i i

thank you though i i i really appreciate

it it was like

it’s a good compliment don’t accept it

you don’t no i don’t because it’s not

real and it’s fake dylan

dj dylan voices most sexy in any case

anyway

uh hello hello there what um what what

brings you

to the jock talk podcast well you know i

came here because i’ve been on a very

long journey

and it’s very hard for me to talk about

because it’s so emotional for me

and it’s something i’ve been dealing

with for 27 years and

i just feel like now is the time to show

the world and tell the world

who i am and how i feel

and that it’s okay to be the way that i

am wow

that’s really inspiring great i mean dr

london do you have a problem with that

you always seem to have a problem with

anyone like sort of becoming confident

in themselves no it’s i mean i don’t

know what

you know what the reason is or any i

don’t know enough really to

to i guess past judgment or whatever but

it sounds great so far

um so let me just get started so um

back in 2015 i hit a very low point in

my life

and you know i just would hit

the darkest moment i hit rock bottom i

didn’t know what to do and

i didn’t know who to turn to i didn’t

know if there was anyone to turn to for

this situation

yeah and probably turn down for what is

playing in the background a lot right

because it’s 2015

yes 2015 you know we were just getting

out of

a lot of um dance memes and stuff like

that but

yeah 2015 was a very dark time for me

because

i hit rock bottom and i just had no one

to turn to

but eventually i learned

what i am and this is why i’m here today

i’m here to tell you both and the world

that i

i’m sorry wow it’s okay hey hey take

your time yeah

no it’s here i okay

am a colonoscopy addict

okay see here take these koala cola

brown tissues yeah take these tissues

crampy can you at least help out and

pass some of the tissues

it tastes just like dinner not don’t

it’s not necessary that you do that

it’s just not crampy that was that was

kind of inappropriate but i mean

yeah it’s just so yes i’m a colonoscopy

addict

i go once maybe twice maybe eight times

a week

two random doctors around town

to find out if i have colon cancer yeah

and and i’m just i’m i was so afraid i

was so

afraid when you say random doctors what

what kind of meaning of random are you

using there are you just going to

doctor’s offices

with doctors you’ve never heard of you

just you just randomly show up

or is it just like in a different order

every time well first i would go to my

primary

care doctor who i knew very well and we

were very close

and so he would you know he was nice

enough to give me at least one

colonoscopy treatment

a week um

but then i was getting embarrassed with

how many

treatments i was getting a week so i

would go to different

doctors in the area and hope that they

wouldn’t remember me

every time i showed up be i mean would

they punish you or something would they

get mad if you if

no they wouldn’t they wouldn’t punish me

but i would definitely get embarrassed

with how much they would be

inside of me okay

so so i get i mean there are a few

sort of points that kind of get me about

this for one thing

like at the start usually it’s a

gastrointestinal doctor that will

be doing so if your primary care was

doing that’s that’s a little bit unusual

for them to have a

you know that the instrumentation to do

colonoscopy but maybe

you know whatever maybe that’s their

part of their specialization

maybe it’s a sigmoidoscopy whatever um

so another thing are you i mean you’re

you’re under for this right like you’re

you’re drugged

uh i ask because that the normal thing

is to

to be under anesthesia no i like it

straight up

okay well you say straight up like it’s

a drink it’s so this is um

it’s it’s a fairly invasive perspective

i believe like

maybe the medical term would be you take

it raw yes

yeah and uh so so i you know i haven’t

used the term

rawness it’s usually you you would want

to it could be

i i say because it’s it’s a pretty

uncomfortable procedure it’s a

you know for our listeners who aren’t

aware yes um it is

it is but i will say that there is

something about the pain

that hurts so good

so i well i just want to clarify for the

listeners so what a colonoscopy is

essentially

um you know there’s this uh this

endoscope it’s a

it’s a camera on the end of like a a

thin

hose and so that thin well that was

another problem of going to so many

doctors was

a lot of cameras would be lost inside of

me that when they put the next camera in

they would find more cameras they would

just all they’re taking pictures of is

just other cameras and that’s not

helpful at all

if you’re trying to determine colon

cancer no i mean it was basically like

you know a camera store in there and so

that’s why i was so embarrassed was i

just didn’t want

doctors to realize that there were so

many cameras up there

i’m sorry so they lost the

the endoscope they lost the the scopes

inside of you

regularly yeah well sometimes uh the

doctor would put the camera

so far up that it would um snap off and

stay inside of me

okay i guess and i didn’t have the

insurance to get it taken out either

you know so it’s yeah i guess less exp

and you never i guess

that actually is part of another

question which is how are you paying for

all of this

you’re going eight times a week for a

colonoscopy i don’t know how expensive

it is but i know it’s not

free and especially if you know your

insurance

it’s not it’s not like at all well you

know my dad had

my dad had an oil farm and he passed

away a few years ago and he left me a

little bit of money

yeah um but not enough money not enough

money to pay to get the foreign object

removed

from your from your body well no

one thing to say here is you know a lot

of these procedures the ex

a big expensive part of procedures can

be

that anesthesia and if you’re cutting

that out of the equation

that it would i don’t know how much it

would reduce the price but it would

reduce the price

um it’s it’s uh

yeah it’s just it’s just kind of an odd

odd thing to me to

draw so many things that you can’t he’s

he’s trying to be honest with us and

you’re calling it odd you’re calling it

weird you’re calling him yeah i’m sorry

and

you know whenever he’s talking about an

addiction it’s okay no there’s a lot of

judgments when it comes to

colonoscopy addicts and it is totally

understandable

you i mean have you tried to seek help

about this have you tried yes so

i have so i actually tried to go see a

hypnotist

a few months ago to get rid of my

addiction but

the problem was was that the hypnosis

was

also a colonoscopy doctor oh

so wow i know

so when i went under you know the trance

i also got a colonoscopy

so i was very confused what i should do

it’s like i don’t even know if it was

two birds with one stone or a

double-edged sword you know

and you’re you’re sure that they that

they are were

gi like they were supposed to be doing a

colonoscopy at the same time

talk about london i i’m sorry that you

can’t ask what kind of

doctor or hypnotist people go to

yeah okay yeah no i’m sorry and this is

it’s okay no there’s no judgments here i

want everyone to feel comfortable

because

this has been a long yeah i’m very

comfortable it’s taking me a long time

to get to this point

but i will say that i’m at a point in my

life where

i can only do colonoscopies at least

once a week

and not only that i will say that

i’m the only one who gives myself a

colonoscopy now wow

i’m the only one you’ve gone green and

not only that but right now

i am working on an app that you hook up

to your phone

and it will give you a colonoscopy

result right there

whoa i’ll give you a result

yes it’ll give you a result in 30

minutes

so this app what it does is it will tell

you

if you have colon cancer or not yeah and

it is two long

fingers i’m sorry sticks

that you insert in your anus

and you leave it there for about 30

minutes

and then you will have your result of

colon cancer or not

you know it’s not it’s not a good idea

to live your life in fear

but now you don’t have to with

coronoscopy

wow this is amazing i i guess okay so so

one brief question so

the you say just it

sticks up into into your anus and it

just stays there

so the colon is a long you know it

there’s a

it’s kind of a long thing and so if it’s

what you’re describing sometimes if you

lay it

if you lay it out straight it can go all

the way to the moon

oh well that’s your small intestine i

believe but but still the cold

is not short either well this is

specifically

for the rim of your anus is that the

medical term for that dr london is the

rim

the part to me that’s confused because

yeah it sounds like you know

at best this is this is like a

sigmoidoscopy

but it sounds like it’s not even as far

as that which

given how often you have these

screenings

i’m you wouldn’t need to go further you

know you would only need a real

colonoscopy

yeah unless you have a family history

you wouldn’t need it until well

you’re telling a person with an

addiction that they don’t need to

do their addiction okay no that’s right

that you’re right um

if i mean if this is what you need your

colonoscopy shaming um

oh uh and look and i hate to interrupt

this

you know we’re working through this

addiction talk

you don’t hate it it’s just a normal

part of hosting a podcast you don’t hate

it at all

okay in any case we um

i it looks like we have another yes

hello there my name is dr

londonsmith.com and this is our producer

cameron

and uh this is our guest colin o’donnell

what was your name

hey i’m regina miles hey there um

hey what what brings you to the uh the

drop doc podcast

well when you contacted me you know i

felt compelled to join you all

and just because this is kind of my line

of work per se

i don’t necessarily have any issues or

problems i want to really

talk about with you i’m just really

passionate about colonoscopies in

general

okay okay so you’re you’re just a fan

well okay i guess i’ll elaborate um

first of all the reason i’m late is

because i was at a gallery talk i just

moved over to new york

um from kentucky and so i’ve just i’ve

been real busy i’ve been making the

rounds i’ve been doing tons of gallery

talks

all about photographing the colon

wow okay so so i i heard you’re right i

have to say

i have to say that is in a remarkable

job

thank you i’m just sitting here

[Music]

so excited to hear everything about what

you’re about to say

well i just want to say thank you for

your bravery and thank you to the host

for bringing us in the space to discuss

this safely

yeah i’m sorry cameron did you find

these guests i i don’t mean to direct

and say

because it sounds like they were very

specifically contacted

and i did you oh yeah

well we’re part of a neopets group okay

and this

i was emailed by someone um contacting

me to come on the show to talk about my

line of work

i’m basically trying to get my name out

there yeah i

i think there may be there was a little

bit of miscommunication in that i was

just wanting to see the line of work

that your neopet was in

like in terms of trading this happens a

lot but i’m glad you’re

here like i think there is a huge

misunderstanding

um i actually preferred club penguin

i’m actually not into neopets at all i

just want to clear that up

real quick okay i need to i need to look

over

i i don’t i genuinely don’t know how you

got the invite but i feel like it works

out yeah

it kind of does that was meant to be

right maybe the person i was talking to

on neopets forwarded it to you

you know that could be i i’m pretty

prominent online

um and because cameron also sends out

these emails to

hundreds of thousands of people it’s

it it’s kind of surprising that we only

have so many people

show up for these recordings to be

honest

yeah and i i tell all of them that

they’re a winner

you’ve won you’ve won a spot on the jock

talk podcast can we get a koala

sponsorship right now oh i mean

just to wrangle this deal i don’t wanna

um in any case we can we can uh

let’s speed this up so you have a

gallery that’s

oh gosh uh he’s he he’s

oh gosh crampy just he heard the words

koala cola and he’s like

losing it just it’s fine but that’s just

like

it just does like that or no just like

that it’s fine it’s okay

okay okay okay okay it tastes just like

down under that’s great

it does and that’s it it just

it’s great it’s my favorite soda i love

i love having it around the office and

it doesn’t get doesn’t get old

and i’m not concerned whenever i feel

like

there’s something solid in it

that’s that’s good and reassuring to me

remember that shrimp guy from twitter

uh are you talking about the guy who

found the shrimp in his

cinnamon toast crunch and then he was

you know outed as an abuser immediately

afterwards

cinnamon toast crunch was

uh oh i didn’t read the story closely so

i don’t know yeah it could have been the

like little chef guy on the yeah

yeah but anyway i mean it’s like all

that to say it’s fine

if you find something in your koala cola

that’s not the fault of a company that’s

just trying to give you some good stuff

yeah it’s it’s

maybe it’s a prize and speaking of

prizes

getting to be on this podcast uh

almost miles what uh you said you have

you had a gallery

and you like to take pictures of

colts because columns just kind of look

like a like a tunnel with like

right ridges in it right

wow it’s actually hilarious that you say

that because my instagram handle is

tunnel vision

oh i like that that’s kind of my whole

angle on this um

i have been what interests you so much

about

taking these pictures well

like what drew you to the colon as a

subject why have you made that your

your focus that is a great question um

one that i kind of wrestle with every

single day

i was actually on track to become a dog

breeder

okay on yeah that’s a that’s a tough

track

right and then uh

you’re in your seventh year of school or

so whenever you started to debate

i actually wasn’t in school at all i was

living over

yeah i know right online classes

uh no so i was actually just you know

living in kentucky with my husband who

is now deceased unfortunately

um that kind of was the turning point

for why i even got into photography in

the first place

wow um and i i’d hate to

what did he what did yeah what did he uh

pass away from

i’m gonna say i bet that it isn’t

primary biliary cholangitis

exactly see most people think that most

people think that my story

indicates that i’m doing this because

i’m trying to heal from some trauma

um which is true he was murdered by our

chiropractor

oh so

long story short um i kind of want to

wanted to unpack my journey of of

healing from his murder

um he did get a lot of colonoscopies

wow i know i was wondering how it would

tie

in okay how many colonoscopies did he

get

i couldn’t say because i was so focused

on the dog breeding he was always away

from the house and it drove me

absolutely insane

yeah um you know i don’t want to get

into that okay i don’t want to get into

our relationship that’s

totally understand um

more or less it just it kind of came to

me in a dream

i i needed to do something with my life

and so i decided to hit the road do some

photography

and one thing led to another and i was

down the tube i was

in the tunnel vision so so the way that

one thing led to another thing

that led to you taking pictures

okay i guess so for listeners who may

not know

in a colonoscopy it’s this

the usual circumstances is that someone

is under anesthesia

you know under the guidance of an

anesthesiologist and there’s also a

gastrointestinal doctor and they they

put that camera

up your butt or wet fingers yeah

and so so they’ll do that and um the

thing is

that if anyone would be the photographer

in that situation i would think it’d be

the

gastrointestinal doctor uh or you know

previously known as the proctologist so

i’m i’m just wondering how

uh miss miles how you how you got into

this role that’s normally

reserved for a you know a licensed

medical physician

uh how did you end up did you give the

colonoscopies because that’s where the

camera is

right and that’s the complicated part of

my story um

you know back when i was in kentucky i

kind of went under the radar with this

per se

and obviously you were sort of an outlaw

now that i’m over in new york uh

obviously i’m very qualified at this

point i have all my papers in order

and what yeah what papers are those yeah

oh you mean just the stack that you

bought

yeah i do see it’s it’s blank paper yeah

she’s talking about this

she’s talking about the purebred dogs

that she was reading those papers

okay so it’s not the just yes stack of

printer paper that’s

sealed in your that you’ve got it it is

very neat and

like those are papers are really

together and i like i’ve tried

straightening paper that’s in that big

of a stack before and it’s

it is difficult it helps that it’s still

sealed yeah i essentially went through

this certification process through a

friend

and he basically gave me

the way into the i don’t know how to say

this

um

essentially i mean did he give you the

scope

is that is that what he did i feel like

that’s yes

that’s what would have had to happen is

you

you went well you’re talking about going

rogue you you have a scope now and

that’s

you okay that’s the best part yeah it

sort of sounds like the person who gave

you this certification just sort of 3d

printed

a a stick to sort of shove up people is

that about right

no actually it’s way more professional

than that

so he is a doctor how dare you first of

all

i am so sorry i don’t know why i’m so

sorry yeah i shouldn’t be so accusatory

i totally understand you know based on

my background and coming from kentucky

i get a lot of assumptions exactly

of course people are you know from

kentucky

famously are just huge liars yes that’s

what everyone is

and i guess i expected you to live up to

some of the expectations only because

like you did

you know whenever you walked in you put

down your your two giant jugs of

uh something what i assume is kentucky

bourbon

uh with with the x’s on it and i didn’t

like that to me was kind of going into

the stereotype and that’s on me

for for assuming well we can talk we can

clear that up

you had to hold the two jugs also with

one hand because you had the printer

paper in your other hand

which i thought was pretty cool thank

you well i do want to clarify that that

is actually all carrot juice

oh so why carrot juice if i may ask

it’s good for you obviously i hope you

know that

i hope you’re aware um oh yeah yeah no

we

yes that’s fat fiber yes

i basically have this routine where

every few weeks i just go on a strict

regimen of carrot juice

i have beets for breakfast to get things

moving

and then this is the crazy part and this

also kind of ties into my work

um here and there i will interject

eating some liver and onions

i guess that’s crazy it is yeah that

does seem insane to me but

so how does that impact your work how

does that affect your work

so obviously that does not seem healthy

right it’s kind of a shock to the system

um i’m essentially on a juice cleanse

and then i just

eat livers and onions every couple of

weeks are these pictures

these pictures are are of your colon

that you’re taking

i have done a self-portrait series okay

because that’s

that’s what i’m yeah i i wasn’t thinking

that thank you for clarifying

i’m a big proponent of doing things

yourself too but what i was getting at

is

doing this diet gets me in the mode it

gets me in that mindset of being a true

artist

and my work actually has been compared

to ansel adams um you know similar form

and structure in his landscape

with what i capture and so um

i go beyond just capturing the colon i

capture

livers now obviously that involves

x-rays

which i have access to that as well you

know one would say

since i’m not a doctor or what is that

called a radiologist

yeah right radiology right and a

radiological

ct scan i think would be better for

well you know this is what i love about

people like you and me like we didn’t

just go to some medical school

and then pay a bunch of money to do a

bunch of stupid classes and then get a

degree

thank you yes you know what i mean like

it sounds like you’re gonna say

like but okay well no i would i was just

gonna say like

you know you don’t even know the name of

the person who does these

x-rays but you’re still qualified to use

them thank you

and that’s what’s so important it’s so

snooty to assume you’ve got to have

these degrees and all these things

you don’t even have to know what’s going

on you don’t have to know what the words

mean

and i would say that’s the same for my

gastroenterologist too

i don’t check for their papers ever

i just trust the way that i’m inserted

whenever you say that the way that you

are inserted yes

um do you cause because normally there’s

you know an instrument like we talked

about you know

you know the endoscope or even you

talked about your you have a

i guess i should have asked more the

device that you use to

the two finger you’re referring to like

a device that looks like two fingers

that inserts

some would say fingers other would say

uh long sticks yes i

i guess i guess why i’m why i’m asked

because

you said you insert it just sounds like

you’re you’re putting yourself in the

situation

whenever it’s my understanding that the

instrument does that so i’m wondering

like are you

i are you like holding on to like are

you just

really close in there or what’s well

there is a snake attachment that allows

you to go deeper

if you so wish and is that something you

usually do

yes it’s a prototype i’m working on

right now but

um we are hoping to add it to the

collection

right and so you say we do you have a do

you have a team working on that it

sounds like maybe you have a

do you have a group of other people who

are dealing with this

addiction and trying to channel it into

this business endeavor

well yes for those of you who are

listening

there is help that you can get it is

called

c a a which is colonoscopy addiction

anonymous and it is a group of

individuals who meet up every thursday

night at 8 pm

and what we do is we go around the

circle and we tell

our story we tell

our story yeah

and what’s the like you know with with

aaa

and and and things like that the goal is

to sort of get off of these things but

that doesn’t seem to be

the goal of this group what are you guys

like doing well

i would say that i would say i would say

sobriety does not work for everyone

and i know that’s a very controversial

statement

no i i get it no whatever we’re all

trying to get off

all these uh like these bad habits

i would say for me personally i need it

here and there

to make it to the next day

yeah and i do it myself i do it myself

so no one gets hurt except for me

so when you visit doctor’s offices

random doctor dr

offices eight times a day i think he is

that he says eight times a week sir

that’s how he used to do it though right

so since he made this app

oh he’s been able to you can do it in

private

yeah and okay so it’s wow

um and it’s still in its development

it’s still well it’s still in its

developing stage so

you know i don’t want to hype it up too

much but i will

say that it’s 92 percent

accurate every single time

especially if you’ve already undergone a

lot of colonoscopies even in the last

year but especially in the last say five

years because you said

you’re 27 and unless you have a history

of another disease or you know unless

you have you know an irritable bowel

disease

usually the recommendation isn’t to get

a colonoscopy until you’re 45

and so uh the the confusing

i guess the unusual part is the fact

that um

you know if you’re starting that age you

you really shouldn’t

need to look for cancer until

later but that’s that’s the trick

need you’re choosing just because you

might

need it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at

least

check when you’re younger i mean and

where’s where’s the information on all

this

i uh i i would assume in books

yeah and things like that have you have

you tried looking for this information

well

no okay ah so and this is

a rare moment for cameron whenever he he

asks he questions something for just a

second

and i’m starting to feel very attacked

right now

just so you know i’m sorry i’m not no i

am i’m feeling very attacked

i came here to have a good time and to

talk

about my journey

and you’re look your journey you are

has been so brave and the the

the steps you’ve taken and how far

you’ve you’ve grown a lot in this

yeah i you know and i haven’t given you

credit for credits yeah thank you

thank you thank you i mean it to just a

one

going from seven eight times to a week

to doing it from

to yourself to yourself you’re not

having you’re not wasting time and it’s

a sacrifice

i can’t get up there like i want i

cannot get up there like i want to

oh wow that must be difficult it’s so

yeah so it is so hard yeah

i’m really really sorry that’s that is

very difficult that sounds very hard

and is that is is that the arm

that you’re trying the cell i mean is it

a selfie stick

you have you brought a selfie stick i

wasn’t going to ask but it’s

it’s what it sort of seems like so

yes you can use it as a selfie stick

but that is why everyone should buy this

product because it is a multi-use

product not only can you go on out on a

friday night

to the club take a picture

but the next day you can wake up and

give yourself a colonoscopy and take a

picture

right up your colon

yeah and you could i mean you could take

a picture of your colon at the club

too that’s what people don’t know about

like these sort of

portable medical advantages yes but you

know if you’re taking your picture at

the club

what else are you allowing in your life

exactly

thank you oh that’s okay i

i guess i didn’t follow that quite as

well as in a profound way i guess that’s

true

sometimes dr london i’m gonna sometimes

when people say something like really

smart like it’s way too

kind of like i don’t know heady for me

like i kind of just say

i know what they’re okay i’m talking

about one idea yeah

i’ve that’s good that’s is that that’s

good at this point i’m not sure so um

but but

so and i hate to um and i will just

admit never mind i’m fine with doing

this part fine camera

uh i we have chores to do and i

you know i i should have mentioned this

to you guys earlier

no but this is a part of

sort of uh you know all of our karen do

you want to explain it real quick this

yeah yeah uh for those of you who have

just

started listening to us dr london and i

have been very very busy i’m just going

to be completely honest we had joined a

roller derby league uh it did not go

well well they have a lot of

oh but it’s a lot of rules it’s a lot of

the blades or the roller skates whatever

the whole time they get really mad

if you go home with them without without

i would really escape like little things

like that i replied

what was that do you have to wear plaid

no for me i wore ice skates

and that they like did not like that

well how does that even work hated that

well i they would argue that it doesn’t

i don’t think it would but you should

have seen him oh i was

i was going he wasn’t as fast as

everybody’s

clunky but he was definitely capable of

hurting more people maybe not more any

kids type of injuries were

unique they were my style of injuries

and in any case we sort of neglected all

of our chores

uh we have this huge to-do list of

things that we

need to do you know we’ve you know no

one

has uh cleaned the big plate that we all

eat off of

we you know that giant plate that all of

us yeah

yeah and then we all yeah it rotates

around and we just eat off of entire

heads behind our back and then we

yeah you know that’s right we haven’t

cleaned

that in i mean probably like three or

four years now which we should really

you should do anyway so we create we

created this fun

chore wheel that we spin every single

week and whatever it lands on

we have to do that chore even if we

don’t want to even

if that’s taking out the trash dr london

uh

yeah no i told you if it if we land on

it

if it lands on taking out the trash then

we will do it but until

it lands on taking out the trash we will

not do it

i i know but it’s just

you it just i know how much you hate

yeah that’s why it’s on the

sure that’s why we have this whole

system and so so anyway so every week we

have

you know we have new chores added

obviously and then also every week we

we knock a chore off we we deal with it

yep so we’re taking care of it so i mean

uh

colin and regina do you guys want to

give this bad boy a spin

i would love to please all right yeah if

you could just

yep okay yeah you’re gonna use your your

two fingers there okay and uh

oh no he’s starting to i’m gonna use

three nope just gonna

put them on the yeah don’t put them

anywhere else just put them on the wheel

on the chords it’s yeah the side the rim

of the wheel effects

nope you’re reaching for the selfie

stick just put that down just go ahead

and put that down

and we’re just gonna you’re just gonna

go ahead and spin all right all right

here we go

one two three

oh wow i mean dr london i can’t believe

it landed on this we it landed on take

out the trash

yeah do you want to spin it again

no dr linda that is not how the game

works yeah

this is these are the rules that’s the

contract you signed that you know i

signed it but you said we have to do

this

i’m trying to look can i i’m going to

read the bylaws real quick

just to okay um

yeah and so yeah and this is fine this

is normal and it’s okay

so um so so the trash

can has overflowed at this point um

it is what we are standing in currently

so uh i am gonna just um

so i the back the bag is what i have to

take out though right

what if what if just to make this easier

we all pick out

our favorite piece of trash out of the

pile and then we tell it to everyone

else

and then that’s the piece of trash we

throw away okay you know this is a

compromise i can handle i like this game

and then yeah

then we can take out the rest of the

trash the next time we land perfect

beautiful honestly that’s practically

what i meant whenever i wrote that down

on it okay

so um let’s see i’ll start

okay let me just rummage around here

okay all right so i have this um

okay that it’s kind of a you know sp

speaking of all this art

uh it’s kind of a large painting of

uh three dolphins and a

magician writing one of the wizards

sorry wizard riding one of the dolphins

and uh he’s uh okay

and it it it is so he’s

he’s yelling something but it has been

smudged over with

what i’m suspecting is crampy koalas

fecal matter

um that is that that must be why you

threw it away i’m guessing i mean

i don’t know if it if i threw it away

before that because like you know i’ve

been working on my painting

um oh yeah i just can never get it right

like you see the wizard’s nose kind of

has a

slight upturn to it i do notice that

yeah

but i will say that the color pattern

and the choices that you made

was really great yeah the the black and

white with like the smidge of yellow

uh just across

um and like then that was another thing

like i wasn’t sure about yellow and now

i’m really unsure about it

what were you trying to say with this

piece uh

well i can tell you what i wasn’t trying

to say but the message i got after i

painted it

um don’t turn your nose up

that’s that’s the message i got from it

and so i

no i had to throw it away i want to ask

you though why did you throw it away i

mean

this is your work that you’re putting

into the world

well i just i messed up at one part so

it was trash i don’t i think the art is

an accident

wow unfortunately dr london used to have

that attitude

but a lot of i mean you lost a lot of

patience

sort of having that mind i’m sorry

patience

uh as a doctor or patients

that’s for him to clarify he won’t

clarify

yeah um so it’s

anyway so that’s my my art and i

you know i think i don’t i don’t okay i

i will say

sure art is is a collection of accidents

in a way

and that’s why i believe that the

the display this needs to be on display

in the

landfill and i say that because of

course

uh the just the materials i had on hand

were not recyclable

maybe that’s the final step for your art

maybe that is the final

step that’s my catalyst catalyst yes

yeah and so anyway i i hope that a lot

of

rats and and uh you know

dumpster divers will will find their way

to it and will appreciate it in its

own context but it really the the smell

i when i say the fecal matter from

crampy koala it has you know it has

grown

other life and once again i think it’s a

great

work that that it just needs its own

context which is not

on the floor of the studio yeah

it’s not yeah like halfway into the

trash can

in a podcast studio it’s going to be

it’s going to better be able to tell

it’s story

on like a huge heap that’s my poop

diaper uh

sorry crampy koala so that’s um why he’s

getting

furious is stealing his poop like a

thing he gets mad at that’s part of the

character

uh i don’t like i don’t know it’s this

stuff was not in the contract

like all the the it just said like

the him and everything that comes with

them you know like all the

like all the contracts i sign yeah i in

any case um

so that’s what that’s what i found uh uh

so if you wouldn’t mind um miss miles um

or uh mr o’donnell would one of you like

to

you know check around your feet uh feel

around until you feel something

uh on the ground there oh wow

i found a crampy koala mug

okay yeah wow i wonder how much this is

worth

at least a hundred dollars is that i

mean i don’t know how much mugs cost i

guess

but i if that’s the standard mug price

well it’s signed by

crampy the koala right here hey hey okay

calm down come down comment

comment comment and he’s curious about

this as well because it’s signed in his

fecal matter

and again you’re stealing his fetal

matter which you get so mad at which is

i guess is built into the character i

just don’t understand

why they would choose that i mean it’s

it’s branding it’s marketing like i’m

not gonna pretend

well it is from the 1999 cartoon series

that krampy was in

so it is it does have and i just have

some value you know what

i don’t i do not know all of the canon

and laura

that’s on us of crampy’s past and that

is on me

because i love cramping i love koala

cola

yes well this this was in the height of

cartoons

and crampy was was

so going to make it with this cartoon it

was about to explode

i actually have a lot of knowledge on

this because i used to watch this as a

kid

and crampy had us was signed on for

several seasons

but unfortunately that’s when his

accident happened

oh yeah i do you hear that a lot with

cartoon characters whenever they’re

whenever they gain an accent um you know

and it’s just

you know with puberty or whatever uh

that’s just part of what happens with

them

and yeah i mean you go as a child with

one voice and then suddenly you have

another voice and that might not be

right it’s like so many cooks in the

kitchen at once

and it reminds me um regina if you would

please talk about like what happened to

your husband

oh god okay oh did we want to bring it

down again

okay no no go ahead go ahead well okay i

i was not thinking about that at all i

was going to mention that uh

is his name crampy yeah that’s crappy

koala

he’s a superstar i’ve never heard of him

um i just wanted to say he kind of looks

like a cabbage patch kid

it tastes just like down under it

yep it tastes just like down under

crampy just go ahead and

just sit right down please stay there

the thing about my husband and i’m only

mentioning this once we’re not going to

dive into this

at all okay you would think by me saying

earlier that he was murdered by our

chiropractor you know this is someone

that we both went to

separately obviously and he was not

actually murdered during a session

he was murdered completely outside of

the workplace yeah i mean i didn’t think

that he was murdered during the session

oh good see i get that a lot people

think

oh he was murdered by the chiropractor

oh he was getting an adjustment

and yeah

is that a common way to die yeah you

just pop their neck

no like people assume that maybe while

he was doing an adjustment he also had a

knife

and then put it through his back

wow that’s really rude of people to just

sort of assume that

and then ask you about it i get okay

just and that’s that must be really

difficult to have to deal with people

asking those kind of questions

it is really difficult but that’s why

we’re here yeah

to tell your truth that’s why we’re here

we are telling

everybody’s story we have to have the

courage

to tell our story to

tell our story

and my story is i never even wanted to

have tunnel vision

oh you you oh you never wanted to think

about

uh though you never wanted to have a you

know i want to keep it broad because i

do get a lot of

weird feedback on telling people that i

do photograph

colons um and also livers

right yeah and yeah

yeah and i didn’t mean to to go away

from this earlier um

you know i i right right um i did lose

my husband

eight years ago now and i moved to new

york last year

so do we do we need to go back i’m like

and i only asked

you know my brain is it’s switching

between two different subjects and i

just don’t know where to go with it

um it’s something i’m still processing

the death

uh it’s it’s still very traumatic to

think about

and so i think that’s why i am so

immersed i am so injected

in my work i have a hypnotist you could

see

he could help you i would love that is

this the same hypnotist that

that performed at colonoscopy while you

were

you know dissociated or yes but he’s a

great hypnotist

i i i

no okay i’m open to that i would want to

try that

yeah you should you should you know it’s

always good

to say how you feel and not hold it in

because that’s what i did tell your

story

oh remember that that would be a good

little tagline i could use maybe on my

business card

right tell your story you can’t hold it

in

you put it in there for about three

three to four minutes

and then you take it out that’s what you

do you’re just gonna steal

his thing and put it on your business

card instantly

oh no no no no i already have my mission

statement on my website you can go view

you can go view it it just sounded very

much like you were about

like you were just going to take it yeah

when you said that that’s what you were

going to do well

it’s just such a generic statement i’m

i’m instantly inspired right now i think

that would be a great

lot just a quick line to put on my

business card nothing else

to kind of direct where my work is even

going at this point yeah

i mean the work you guys are doing is is

pretty amazing i mean

i mean you’ve got an artist and you’ve

got sort of a tech innovator over here

both of these things yes coming together

well it takes a lot of practice to get

to where i am

and well me too me too i mean do you

do you guys think that maybe you could

help each other out a little bit it

sounds like

she could take pictures that could maybe

help with your algorithms and your app

wow that’s brilliant that’s a great idea

i mean thank you neopets yeah we’re

making a connection here this is

amazing yeah it really is

i guess i guess neopets took us further

than than i ever thought

i know cameron you said that whenever

you were going to find guests

and do our you know our media outreach

you said all of it would be done

through a neopets-based approach

i said well this is a medical education

podcast

maybe there’s another way and you you

said no

you said this is the only the only

method you know

well i said well like i pulled up

neopets.com and you were

skeptical of it and i was like well

check out this other site and i went to

google.com

typed in neopets and went to the website

that way

yeah yeah so no i i did appreciate that

there were multiple ways to

multiple avenues to get to the same

destination and i thought i didn’t know

if that was your problem that it wasn’t

on google

yeah well once i found out that’s how

that’s all you do you just google

how do i fix this person’s disease and

right yeah and then

i just remember what the b stands for

yeah

yeah exactly um in any case you know and

i

i i know we were kind of having a moment

there and whatever but um

you know miss miles i just there’s

we’re standing in trash and would you

mind picking up

something next to you whatever’s next to

you there and um okay

and i hate to ask our guests

like most the time it does not land on

trash so i

this is i’m sorry okay i just want to

say i’m very confused

right now um i don’t know why we were

having to go through your trash but i do

appreciate you giving us the opportunity

um so let me just see what’s what’s down

here

um oh

all right i i think i’ve got something

here it

it seems to resemble maybe a slinky

okay yeah and barely even wet this one

so that’s um

yeah i mean that’s one of the driest

slinkies in this pile i would say

oh i’m not i’m not seeing any more okay

yeah

um yeah well no the red i mean it’s

like i mean i’d like to flatter you by

saying

you see it all but i mean there that’s a

thick layer there

and so it’s mostly slinky it’s mostly

and but it’s it there is a grime layer

as well so it can be

it can be difficult to discern uh it

from the tile pattern

so that’s the best part you exactly you

have to go beneath the surface

and you know sometimes you have to fight

yeah and so um anyway so yes this the

slinky of course we uh

uh well we we got the whole batch of

sleekies there i’m sorry i should have

explained because there is a bit of a

story behind it

well i mean it’s i mean it’s a pretty

simple story it’s when we were starting

the podcast i mean we were broke do you

remember that dr london we were having

to eat pb and j

i don’t we were just two guys starting

the show

yeah you kept making pb and j’s oh yeah

i should have done the carrot juice

and like the you know because i was a

doctor

so i i had like i was eating oh you’re

just you know

just staying up late in the dorm and

just eating those pb js no money

and um we couldn’t afford like a

phone you know we couldn’t even afford a

phone for the podcast

so we used the slinky we put it up to

our ears and we would talk through it

and that was most of the way we did our

communication

yeah i’ll admit that it wasn’t um well

dj dylan actually told us that

it wasn’t very good for communicating

uh because it like the metallic feels

these are all the metal slinkies most of

them are

rusted by now like i’m i’m kind of

concerned yeah they’re wet they’re

soaking rested and pointy they’re very

we sharpened them i guess was the pro

one of the problems um because we were

afraid well

because cameron you were afraid that it

wouldn’t the sound wouldn’t travel

fast enough unless we made it sharp

because sound is supposed to be sharp so

sound is supposed to be

like uh it suddenly hits you

yeah so um nature teaches us these

things

cameron do you want to pick up one piece

of trash

or if there’s something or if there are

a few attached to each other i don’t

know what you know your preference

uh yeah i mean this is embarrassing like

it’s

one of our failed endeavors before the

podcast

but it’s our jock dock suit of armor

that we had built

oh boy man that does take me back yeah

because we were

so i guess we don’t really talk about

this much this podcast really started as

a medieval times

sort of restaurant concept yeah we were

really into larping

but like just for meals

yeah and it you know it evolved over

time and eventually became a podcast

but that i mean that took like seven or

eight years of really trying to get this

medieval times

yeah jock dock themed medieval times the

name stuck

restaurant going the name stuck and

that’s oh yeah

uh we were like look we’re just going to

create this restaurant

it’s going to be themed after medicine

and health

jock dock and they’re going to be

wearing a suit of armor

yeah and uh yeah so anyway so it’s it is

a bit clunky that

but um you know you want to zip me up i

want to i want to oh you’re i want to

see that

you want to try it all the time yeah

okay okay yeah

and yeah okay now it’s really

it’s really squishy in here oh yeah i

mean it’s wet as well everything

all of it is wet yeah and it’s okay

like i i can hear some squashing sounds

and every time i turn and like lean a

certain way i

i feel all the content shifting

oh yeah it’ll do that uh there’s

something

why this here okay okay okay crap

crappies

did you understand something completely

okay well you know i guess i just kind

of wrap things up i’m i’m getting

increasingly uncomfortable here

so um uh thank you so much

to everyone for being on uh mr uh so

colin o’donnell

um is there any way for listeners to uh

to keep up with you after this i know

you’re pretty excited about your new

product yes so i’m so excited about my

new product but i do have to say i have

a friend

and you can find him on instagram at

honor connor that’s

h-o-n-n-o-r-c-o-n-n-o-r

and i just want to say one last thing

i do not like anal sex at all

i do not like fingers in my butt at all

i am strictly i am strictly a

colonoscopy

addict there is a big difference

i just need that to be clear many people

think that these two things are tied

together

they are not okay just

is everyone clear on that yes it’s a

it’s a shame that people throw this kind

of stigma

on mental health issues and you know

addiction that people

try to assume like oh if you’re uh if

you’re depressed you must

you know just hang out in the corner all

the time right

yeah it’s so many stereotypes if you’re

addicted to colonoscopies if you have to

have something stuck up your butt all

the time

then that means that you’re somehow gay

or something and it’s

and which by the way is fine either way

it’s just

you know it one doesn’t mean the other

right and that’s important to bear in

mind i think

thank you i’m i have to say i’m so

thankful i came on here and i could

really

share my truth i could share my story

and although i felt a little attacked at

one point i do want to say i am so

thankful

to be on this show and to reach out to

other colonoscopy addicts

out there and i just apologize no it’s

okay and i just want to say

you are not alone you’re never alone and

now

with the new product you don’t have to

be alone because

wherever whenever you can take

two fingers i’m sorry i mean sticks

and put it right up there and you guys

uh

miss uh regina miles um did you have uh

you know anywhere for listeners killed

with you you said tunnel vision

yes just tunnel vision on instagram

that’s where you can see some of my work

some of my personal life as well

if you’re interested in that diet i

mentioned earlier

um i did want to mention that is a great

way to kind of connect with whatever

your art is

and i should have clarified earlier the

reason i eat so much

liver and onions is because

it connects me with my character it

connects me with my subject

which usually is the liver but most

often

um okay i’m sorry yeah i didn’t make

that connection that

you eat the the things that you’re

looking at

now not necessarily and i should have

clarified this you know i should have

elaborated earlier but

by interjecting that liver and onions

into my diet

it’s bringing me back to that place

where i’m focused

on what my subject is and that’s really

my whole mission

is to just focus on the subject and

nothing else

and so if you want to follow me there at

tunnel vision

i also have some meditation practices

you can follow along with to kind of you

know again connect with your work

figure out what you even want to do with

art in general

um you can also message me on there

maybe you know if you have any

connections in the

doctor medical world whatever you would

want to call that

yeah healthcare yeah yeah healthcare

healthcare thank you

and then you can find me at

reginamiles.com

and i did promise my friend i would plug

her on here

her handle on instagram is i believe you

call it

um soul skin that is s-o-l-s-k-i-n-n

she is norwegian so that’s why it’s you

know kind of a weird name there

but she does photography as well and so

um i try to plug her whenever i can

since i do

you know well yeah you didn’t have you

didn’t have to make fun of your friend’s

name i mean oh i’m so sorry i did not

mean to come off as if i was making fun

of her

and i hope she doesn’t take it that way

i just think it’s good to be upfront

whenever you’re presenting yourself as

an artist

you don’t want to be ambiguous and so i

just wanted to clarify

yeah yeah no it’s it’s fine it’s fine

like it’s

it’s not me that’s that you have to be

worried about i guess that’s what i’m

getting at but uh

um i guess i guess i should plug real

quick uh koala cola

is it’s the best drink out there really

cool it’s the best drink out there it’s

the spiciest drink out there

and look was that car found in the

parking lot

of koala cola yeah it was it was found

there no one is saying that the car was

not found

no one was saying that the car was not

found there cars are found so many

places

i guess i just don’t understand why yeah

like why does it matter

like oh a car in a like a big case like

a police case

was found at the high school so that’s

the high school’s fault that’s a

principal’s fault

it’s ridiculous people can park in so

many places and maybe it’s just like

it was the only place that didn’t charge

for parking is what i’m guessing you

know

yeah it there could have been there

could have been so many reasons yeah

and um and it was okay that

what they found in the car like it the

amount of bot

it doesn’t matter how many severed limb

oh wait it’s not for me to know what’s

in someone else’s car yeah that is their

private

privacy oh private yeah and you know no

matter how many

just how much fluid and how

how many just furry little limbs were in

there

and the obvious that even the facial

expression

showing this the struggle and the

excruciating pain at the end

that’s not our business that was just

in the car yeah and also because this is

australia which is

very hot and you can have a mirage so

you can

see a bunch of you know like bloody

limbs little furry limbs and that’s not

even really there it’s not even there

and yeah anyway that’s just a little

statement that we had to

read off and it’s like and i’d love to

read these off because

it just clarifies how great the product

of koala cola is

and plug the we could we could plug the

patreon as well

you know i’m excited about that too yeah

you think there’s too many people

already subscribed i do

we are overwhelmed at the no no no we

can do it we can do it we can do it

i think we can do i think we can squeeze

in a few like a couple we are just under

capacity

so yeah yeah it’s the the jock doc

podcast patreon if you go to patreon.com

doc podcast you’ll find us there there’s

a

three dollar tier to um to get access to

a backlog of episodes that we’ve got on

there

um and these are for the these are

better episodes than than what you’re

listening to what you’re listening to

these are very special episodes for very

special fans

not for commenters who are going to

listen to the main feat yeah and

and you know if you listen to the main

feed and you’ve listened to the patreon

you know we’re talking about you

yeah exactly and don’t talk about what

don’t talk about behind the paper on the

patreon

yeah it’s i can’t even yeah um

all right well uh so thank you again to

uh mr connell o’donnell

colin o’donnell um for being on thank

you to uh

uh regina miles uh you know thank you

cameron for arranging

through uh through the neopets for all

that thank you cameron thank you to

DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

did

a true artist dj dylan is a true artist

a true artist

[Music]

my name is Dr. LondonSmith.com and this has

been

the jock doc podcast see ya

Hey kids you’re about to listen to a comedy

podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice if you need medical advice or

medical care please contact your doctor

welcome to yet another episode of the

jock doc podcast we are proud to be part of the

koala cola podcast network

it takes okay really am i gonna have to

say this every single episode

yes wait for real yes okay

it tastes just like down under

introducing your host

dr london smith hello and welcome to the

jock doc podcast

part of the koala cola network where we

discuss fitness and health

and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host Dr. London Smith (.com) i’d like

to begin by apologizing to our listeners

we’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as intraductal papillary mucinous

neoplasm

and peter piper picked a peck of pickled

peppers so i’ll try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron oh hey dr london

hey

okay is this is this new energy for the

um you know for this reason

the sponsor i i shall well i mean i do

i’m obligated to say that yes i always

have a positive attitude and a positive

outlook on koala cola tastes just like

down under yes

it tastes just like there’s no there’s

no question about that thank you

crampy the koala um no i’m just i’m just

uh

i’m just in a good mood today i i

believe today is my lucky day

like i always hear about that like

people saying like oh it’s my lucky day

and i was like i don’t

i don’t know when mine is

and so but i think it’s today dr london

so when you won the lottery

yeah no but see here’s the thing about

that is that

if i stop that money for a long

well if i if that money had lasted

longer

i would have considered that lucky okay

yeah so the

300 million dollars you did squander it

pretty quickly

and it brought so many fake friends yeah

just everyone friends

yeah but you know that was maybe one of

the least lucky days i’ve ever had

no today was more like um so i’ve been

eating out of this hole lately

and it’s not just like it’s not like

it’s not like meals but just like snacks

that i’m eating out of this hole

um but so i was doing that today and you

know what i found in there not just the

normal snacks that sometimes i find on

there but i found a dime

i found a lucky dime but of course i

don’t think that’s serious i’m not

a superstitious person i don’t think

just because i found a

dime in my eating hole that i am going

to have just like the best day ever

but then later i’m crossing the street

and this car almost hits me swerves hits

another car instead

wow a miracle i guess is what you’re

calling that yeah

i mean it’s amazing and then like i was

i almost fell into like the ravine

earlier i’m sorry did you

did you call anyone after you saw that

first cause i know you were i saw the

live feed that you had of it and you

were saying like oh man

this this car wreck it’s crazy who

who would i call about so emergency

services

no that’s who i would call who would i

call about i’m calling 911 just to talk

or

talk about my lucky day no i mean

whenever you saw the car accident the

miracle

that you you live streamed for everyone

and you were saying like wow look at how

crazy this wreck is and people were you

know bleeding out and there was

it blew up uh was there any

was there any thought in your mind like

maybe i should call

no th this miracle is about me it’s not

about

other people yeah okay this is my

miracle

okay i guess that’s i almost fell into a

ravine

um but i didn’t which was great

um okay which that was like the second

thing and then

the um third thing was that my

dad he and so he was eaten out of this

hole

and then he found a nickel which is

probably not as good

but that’s three things can’t be a

coincidence dr london this is my lucky

day this is gonna be the best day of my

life

okay and okay yeah it just so for a lot

of people like they think that

winning the lottery would really do it

for them but for you it’s the day that

you watched

uh six people die and you

narrowly avoided uh getting killed

multiple times

just falling into a ravine yeah yeah and

that you

well yeah i stood i so you know for

for a while when i was standing under

that piano that was hanging by a crane

yeah and i was like throwing tennis

balls at it just trying to like bounce

it off the bottom of it

yeah just for fun yeah i i

moved right out of the way like there

was there was like a person in my way

and so i was like move and so like i

shoved them to get out of the way

because i was trying to get

further in the line at the hotdog cart

and

it fell on that person that i showed

instead of on me

and so i’m like okay this has to be my

lucky day

okay yeah so was it seven deaths that

you

okay um okay yeah so so your lucky day

okay and i guess so this is i guess

now i’m a little bit apprehensive

because if if so many people near you

died

you think i’m taking up all the luck and

so you’re not gonna have any luck for

yourself

just like the bare minimum amount of

luck where i don’t get killed over it

but yeah uh

anyway but i’m sure you know i i’m not

really that superstitious of a person um

so so i get it’d be dumb for me to put

my stock in yeah

and this so uh yeah we’ll we’ll go ahead

and move on i shot this

rocket off right so i’ve been messing

around with these rockets lately and so

i shot this little rocket off

and it landed on my house and then the

hole it burned in the roof was only like

this big dr london

you can’t see it on the podcast but it’s

very small yeah

and so that’s a miracle dr london

that says how lucky i am okay

yeah i guess you know seeing the the

nice the positive aspects of things is

always

it’s always a good thing so um anyway so

that’s our producer cameron

also with us is dj dylan in da house

[Music]

this is gonna be the best

[Music]

this is gonna be the best this is gonna

be the best day of my life

[Music]

this is gonna be the best

[Music]

[Music]

this is gonna be the best

[Music]

and later cameron tells us that we can

expect a special guest

that’s right dr london all right so look

forward to that um but before we move on

i would like to address a bit of

listener feedback

so one lucky koala coke enthusiasts

scraped off enough of a

of the paint label from a koala cola

cans

to send it in for a chance uh at some

medical advice on the podcast

so it’s a million paint

scrapings scraping or a pound a pound of

paint scrapings from

the koala cola cans definitely don’t

you know consume the paint scrapings in

any

form no which and you know

we should go ahead and say right now i

think it’s worth saying that um

uh there’s no koala in koala there’s no

bits of animal parts

so people keep bringing this up they

keep saying that if you bring

the more you bring this up the more

we’re convinced that there’s

koala in koala cola but that’s the

opposite because we’re saying

there is no koalas in koala cola

no so to walk away from that and think

well now it sounds like there must be

koalas in koala that’s the

that doesn’t make sense that’s that’s

illogical it’s the opposite of what it’s

supposed to be

yeah and it’s you know it is one of

those lessons where people just try to

hear what they want to hear

and uh i don’t know why these sick

people want to hear that there are

animal parts in there yeah

if that’s part of your diet that’s fine

that’s fine you do you i don’t know what

it’s like in australia i don’t know if

you just hunt

koalas and just eat them for sport no

idea

but i can tell you that there’s none in

this delicious delicious cola that

tastes just like down

under it tastes just like down under

thank you crampy

okay um yeah anyway so that was just

something i wanted to note real quick um

so anyway so for the the note from that

that lucky listener

that lucky uh consumer of koala cola

they said uh casey this is your aunt

please call me

end quote okay okay

so i guess we can just talk to do i

guess we’re talking straight to casey’s

aunt here

yeah i was gonna say like i guess this

is kind of like at the grocery store

where

you know if you’re a little kid and

you’d lose your parents then you just go

up and you ask them to say on the

loudspeaker uh

you know they’re at the front so in this

case i would say

you’re saying there’s probably like a

few food lions around the country that

are

that are playing our podcast yeah yeah

and so

if you know casey um i i know you’re in

one of these food lines so if you could

go ahead

and call your aunt that’d be

that’d be great um i’m really glad that

uh your aunts took the time to scrape

off so many labels from cans

send in a pound of those and uh to get

the word out so

anyway thank you so much for reaching

out and uh for being the lucky winner

of that that competition for kuala kola

and you’re actually doing that with all

of your patients right all of your

patients sort of have to win

their way into your office yeah that’s

right so it’s

i mean it’s one of those things where

you know people say like oh i barely get

any face time with a doctor i only get

five ten minutes

uh so for me with the system i’ve

developed over time and it’s just

experience

uh you’ll you’ll have patients who

there’s so many of them and it if you

can just get them

to scrape off the aluminum

scrape off the lead paint scrape off the

you know whatever

um send that in through a formal

system then it really streamlines the

process

of right providing medical care so

um and that’s that’s just you’ve had

you’ve had to turn people away who have

come

with sort of medical ailments and but

they don’t have the scrapings

yeah they’ll say like i’m insured yeah

so

i and i can pay you cash if you need

that and i’m like well there’s

you know i appreciate it but you know

it’s a formal office visit yeah

well it’s just not the you know you have

the proper channels so

if you really cared you’d be prepared

when you showed up

you know what i mean yeah if you care

about your health yeah yeah

yes yeah so i i’m sorry i’m sorry to no

yeah i’m sorry

i just it’s just it’s it’s the

healthcare industry at large and like i

get that it’s

kind of a broken system but this is sort

of just where we’re at

this is how it functions so um you know

we some people are for universal

healthcare i’m saying that

sure if it fixes this problem

i’m all for it if it’ll solve the

problem people having to

enter into a cola australian cola

contest in order to reach me

sure yeah but i don’t see that happening

in the short term

so let’s let’s work with what we got um

any case uh to this listener thank you

for listening

uh now for today’s medical topic primary

sclerosing cholingitis

primary sclerosing cholingitis along

with some of the other topics that we’ve

been covering

is a cause of liver cirrhosis so primary

growth and cholangitis is a chronic

idiopathic progressive disease the bile

ducts

characterized by thickening of the bile

ducts and narrowing of their lumens

so uh it can lead to cirrhosis portal

hypertension

and liver failure and for those who

aren’t aware of the anatomy it’s

the liver uh sends out some bile to

the the gallbladder um or if you don’t

have a gallbladder then it just sends it

out

uh you know through the bile ducts and

to the digestive tract and the blood

them

and so uh this uh primary sclerosing

cholangitis

messes with that that system the bile

duct wall there’s a strong association

with ulcerative colitis

and you know irritable bowel diseases

and it’s important to note that even if

you do a colectomy for ulcerative

colitis the primary sclerosing

cholangitis will remain unaffected by

such

treatment so you fix one problem it

doesn’t fix this one

so your job is useless yes so so my job

isn’t usually to to do the colectomy uh

but

i i guess you are getting a spoiler on

treatment um

but but first is that just doctors like

just in general

so it doesn’t really even really matter

if people come to you with all these

can scrapings because it’s sort of

you’re just gonna say there’s nothing we

can do

uh it it depends no matter what little

girl comes in and she says

i’ve got i’ve got a i’ve got a scraped

knee

and you say there’s nothing we can do

you have six months

is that right it’s it’s not you know it

depends on the scrape knee it depends on

all that like i i can’t tell you

specifically in part because you haven’t

collected the

scrapings cameron so right yeah it’s not

i can’t be giving out free advice which

you can’t do that’s

illegal great contractually i can’t no

no especially not with koala cola now is

being our network

um clinically patients may present

first with ulcerative colitis to the

extent that ulcerative colitis

it just dominates the clinical picture

however chronic cholestasis findings

will emerge including

jaundice and pruritus and that’s

jaundice is the yellowing of the skin

and

and the square of the eyes and then

pureitis is the the itching

that’s they they’re itching from the

bile buildup uh

from the bilirubin so all patients

eventually present with chronic

obstructive jaundice

they may also experience fatigue malaise

and weight loss

uh laboratory studies can show elevated

alkaline phosphatase which is typical

for biliary disease

along with elevated ggtp and bilirubin

level however

bilirubin level can be normal in early

disease so

once again to emphasize the ulcerative

colitis might be

what you present with which is you know

blood and pain and

poop um and again let’s let’s go ahead

and stress that if you’re if you’re

having any of these sort of like

symptoms or anything like that there’s

nothing

your doctor can do they can’t help you

um and so don’t i mean there’s no reason

this is more about learning for an

educational purpose like just to

just to know what’s currently ravishing

your body so so diagnostic

testing includes mrcp or ercp uh ercp

being the most accurate uh which will

reveal beating narrowing or strictures

in the biliary system

and that’s the classic beads on a string

appearance uh

which you know all of our med student

listeners who are

the children is who it’s marketed to but

the up and coming medical students

um uh they’ll they’ll you know look for

that on tests potentially um

mrcp and that’s like an mri

when you see that in a patient patient

comes in they’re sweating a lot you see

the beads of sweat

you say i’m sorry there’s nothing i can

do i’m so sorry there is absolutely

nothing i could do you have six months

to live

yeah and that is that is a classic line

from doctors

you have six months to live but

sometimes it’s less um

in case uh mrcp is uh generally done

because there’s no therapeutic need for

ercp

uh of note because it’s not gonna do

anything anyway because as we we’re

confirming

over and over again in this medical

lesson doctors don’t do anything there’s

nothing they can do

the only thing thing they can do is tell

you you have six months to live

so uh of note primary sclerosing

cholangitis is the only cause of

cirrhosis for which a biopsy is

not the most accurate test so that’s it

all ends up being irrelevant anyway

because no matter how detailed and

accurate the test is

the only response and conclusion you can

come to as a doctor

is i’m so sorry about that

about your that your liver hurts so bad

right now there’s nothing we can do

you have six months okay so the

treatment so

so there there is no effective treatment

for primary sclerosing cholangitis apart

apart from liver transplant that may be

required um

treatment is symptomatic for the

pueritis with

close stellar amine and osteoporosis

with

calcium bisphosphonates and vitamin d uh

ursa dialysatoic acid may slow the

progression of the disease but

this is i for whatever reason i don’t

know how you

really guessed this one but yeah we

don’t have the

transplant transplant is the treatment

how was i able to guess that doctors

don’t do anything and that it’s

all just a big scam and it’s a failure

hmm i wonder how i was able to guess

that okay

it tastes just like down under okay

thank you

i i don’t i don’t like that you and

crampy seem to have some sort of a deal

where he bails you out

anytime there’s an uncomfortable

situation you’re presented with

sort of a difficult scenario suddenly

crampy just is i mean he’s he’s yelling

i was gonna say like we can just

seems like you’ve talked about this uh

oh me and crampy

look this just crampy’s here to just

make sure everything’s great

everyone’s happy are you are you guys

hanging out like outside of the podcast

without me

like just just youtube

it’s not personal it’s just we have a

lot more business stuff to talk about

so it’s um oh okay it’s just business

i mean it’s not just business but like

that’s how we the tax whenever we

it’s tax deductible because uh because

we do

at some point in the conversation

business stuff is mentioned

but it’s what what’s what’s tax

deductible well the i mean

what are the expenses well i mean for

one thing the

the the elaborate meals the um the shows

we’ve been to

the uh i mean to make a list so

we we’ve whenever we fly to conferences

um

the uh koala cola jock talk podcast

show um that we the theater that sorry

the stadium that we sold

out um he and i you know managed that

um that was okay okay that’s fine

that’s fine good yeah i i don’t see why

it wouldn’t be

no just it’s it’s it’s uh

there’s no i can’t i don’t have feelings

so they can’t be hurt

great i once like i don’t really see so

it’s just business it’s just business we

just

talk so i couldn’t don’t even don’t even

know how to respond to that because

i don’t have feelings i’m not a i’m not

a real human apparently and i don’t

have real friends who i people who don’t

invite me to

um fly on a private jet to a conference

apparently i’m just not

but okay and i should clarify it wasn’t

a private jet

because like we did share the jet with a

few other celebrities so

like it was private in a sense but like

it was shared like it wasn’t just us on

the jet if that’s right it was private

and also an amazing

networking opportunity huh yeah just i

mean like

just just paul mccartney bono just a few

of the

um potential clients so but it’s not

like i don’t want you to

take it as like a weird exclusive thing

no yeah no it’s just you y’all

you you want to hang out with all these

people and not with other people

that’s fine for business i like i don’t

know how to put it anymore clearly just

it’s that’s the way of it it’s fine dj

dylan and i

are we’re going to the beach later so

nope okay i i mean if it’s

if it’s personal then i’m gonna teach me

how to surf

that sounds very so it’s it’s not gonna

be like last time

whatever yeah uh because you you

you were learning to boogie board last

time

and also you forgot you didn’t bring a

boogie board but you thought like i’ll

figure it out

yeah yeah and then i sort of was i guess

i i sort of thought that the idea of a

boogie board is that you’re boogieing so

you’re

you’re sort of dancing yeah and i

thought well i don’t need a board to do

that i can do that by myself and you all

said yeah i did for a real long time

yeah

and you also didn’t go to the beach for

it either

oh no god though i would never yeah okay

anyway

oh i mean i am i definitely am with dj

dylan

okay we can move on from there if that’s

all right like i don’t wanna i guess

dwell on it seems to be troubling you

for i cannot

tell why

hi uh so cameron i know you know i i

sense that things are kind of

tense but um i’m nice on tim’s it’s my

lucky day it’s my lucky day

i’m lucky that my friends are partying

without me

it tastes just like donut and the

conference is so fun

hey hey let’s um i think that cameron’s

dealing with something private i don’t

know

um in any case uh so you

you we have a guest today is that right

we do have a guest dr london we have a

fantastic

guest top 10 material

okay because so so last week we had

donald glover

yeah on the podcast and so i’m assuming

you’re

it’s on the same level of whatever it’s

uh

i think you know there’s a lot of

context involved you know what i mean

like

um whoever the most famous hacky sack

player is to people who play hacky sack

professionally that person’s probably

like their michael jordan right

so to them that’s like the biggest

celebrity

but maybe if you’re not into hacky sack

and you’re more into

devil sticks then you might not know

that guy as well

okay so so you’re saying like just

famous depending on which crowds you run

with okay

exactly okay so um anyway hello there my

name is dr londonsmith.com and this is

our producer cameron and what was your

name

hey guys this is a huge honor for me

i just want to thank you my name is mike

okay hey mike what uh

what brings you to the show i love your

energy you’re just like

you’re already in it totally i listened

to your podcast back when it was on the

casey anthony network

wow that was a long time ago

so long ago yeah and then you guys

disappeared i didn’t know where you went

oh if it if it wasn’t on that network

you didn’t know where to find your

podcast totally that’s the only

is the only place i know to look yeah

that makes sense well i mean thank you

for coming on the show

totally in my circles people know me as

magic mike because i grow

mushrooms so

so okay and i i get this okay so cameron

whenever you were you were trying to

downplay it but we got magic mike on

this week

totally and don’t don’t think i’m the

guy that gets naked

and princess around the stage for the

ladies okay

i impressed ladies in a different way

yeah

i impress them with my mushrooms yeah

you don’t have pants on i will say

no right now well you didn’t tell me

this was a pants only podcast sorry that

did you know that’s not the rule yeah

did you know that in the email dr london

that’s not no it’s one of those um

so and you you weren’t on the plane okay

so um

we with with a certain level of

celebrity stardom

and with whenever you rise this level of

prestige you start to

sort of expand what you’re open to and i

know that you were

very you were saying that we should all

you know wear

clothes you said that we shall wear

tarps on top of our

regular clothes um you you just kept

saying modest is hottest

but you said i think you said that so

many times that

it was becoming very kind of

uncomfortable like you were really into

modesty

modest is hottest yeah i love wear more

don’t be a [ __ ]

wow well you know i thought because it’s

just us guys

i could just wear my box of briefs i

i’ve got

kind of like an ingrown hair situation

on the inside of

my knees so i’m trying to air it wow you

know what i’m saying

yes yeah i mean medically the best yeah

to say it’s in

it’s very long for being ingrown like

it’s it must be ingrown and also

outgrown because you it’s sticking out

of the bottom of your yeah it’s like a

half season

situation yeah totally well guys you

know i’m here yeah what brings you

yeah what brings you here i’m here to

tell you about what i do

i grow mushrooms like i said also known

as mushies shrooms blue meanies

golden tops liberty caps philosophers

stones

liberties armani and agaric

whoa i are you sure those are the only

names for

like isn’t that like uh

what is it silo cybin or something oh

yes very good i knew the doctor was

gonna

bring up posilicibin pecilic ibn

is the compound found in psychedelics

specifically magic mushrooms

it’s bacillocarbon is classified as a

schedule one drug meaning that

it has a high potential for misuse and

has no

currently accepted medical use in

treatment in the united states which i

think is a missed opportunity

yeah i mean do you i mean surely there

must be some sort of

medical benefit to mushrooms right i

mean

well your brain is freaking out so

surely that’s got to do something yeah

it’s like it’s like when you’re working

out you’re lifting weights

your muscles hurt after because they’re

freaking out

but that’s how they grow and that’s how

the brain works too

okay so i mean i know there aren’t it’s

not a first-line drug

for sure but there are you know some

some experiments going on some some

clinical trials going on for uh

uh i get what’s more commonly known as

shrooms

but that that sort of compound um

and they’re being used for maybe ptsd i

think as

as a you know the third line or you know

everything else has failed how do we

help these people

uh does is that what what you’re about

or is it

because it sounds the way you describe

it it sounds maybe you’re more into the

recreational side

exactly but if the cops ask you no

but if i you ask me i tell you

i grow them in my apartment in my

bedroom

and my favorite thing when i bring home

a girl to

you know take mushrooms

well and it may be i don’t only

bring home girls who do mushrooms but

when i do

what else do you bring i sell it to them

full price

you know doctor a little hanky pranky

i i guess i don’t fall so um it’s like a

it’s like a

it’s like a dance okay and you have to

have a girl to do that

no you need the birds and the bees

oh so now we’re bringing okay animals

and okay so um

i guess i guess i just don’t follow but

um okay wait how about this

cameron can we just talk just me you for

a second

yeah i’m really sorry doctor london he

talked about a little

on this past episode but he he’s

currently dating someone right now he’s

dating

krampus kardashian okay which is pretty

a pretty big deal but i think it’s just

for publicity like i’m pretty sure it’s

a pr relationship

really that happens i think krampus is

the hottest

one it’s i mean

don’t get me wrong like her she’s an

a-list celeb like her her beauty line

her makeup line her hooves like these

are all iconic things

yeah but i just don’t i don’t know

i don’t think dr london knows about a

lot of

things like sex does he not do sex does

this guy not get laid

cameron i am gonna like

again he’s gonna pretend like he does

he’s not gonna know what that word means

but he’s gonna he’s gonna immediately

say

yes because he doesn’t want to feel left

out okay let’s go

let’s go ask him where babies come from

see what he says it’s i

really i’m not exactly sure if he’s

gonna know uh doctor come back come back

yeah yeah yeah yeah put down your phone

dr lon well no

it’s this actually really cool thing

like i i’m glad you

you know had me do this while you guys

are talking about whatever

because it’s a like a continuing medical

education game so you can actually like

practice clearing out stuff from the

lungs

um you know like like you would actually

do in a procedure dr london do you know

where

do you know where uh little babies come

from yeah siberia

no no no not just little babies sorry

not just they’re also tigers they come

from siberia they’re

i’m sorry to not list everything but it

was a specific question

where do human american babies come from

ooh okay no that’s good um

well i mean like i’m just trying to

think through it

through the immigration channels um

this guy doesn’t know how to do

something that’s we’re gonna have to say

tim and krampus kardashian are having a

real relationship i’m just saying

wait hold on i know it’s not polite to

kiss and tell but have you and krampus

[ __ ] i guess i don’t so i i want to

clarify something here so

we weren’t the first in people in this

country

um and so you had you we had to bring

people

in uh like they were they were natives

but like

but generally like i’m one of the people

who immigrated and so everyone

from yeah this is if you want more

people it’s not an immigration thing you

seem to have gone back to the

immigration

thing but well so if you want more

people

you you bring in more people i don’t see

what’s

it’s they don’t have to be happy this is

like they can be from

mike i i uh sweden mike i appreciate you

trying to help this

he it’s never going to work it’s never

going to be uganda get into his skull

but regard mozambique how did this guy

get

go through medical school and he never

took basic

human health medical school i think was

like a blog i don’t think it exists

anymore but i think it was mostly just a

blog that he was like a moderator

i would say hold on i know basic human

health so

um you want to keep a high vegetable

diet you want to go low meats because

actually

i don’t know if you’re aware of this but

like a heart attack

we can’t go into what dr london thinks

people should eat

i okay mike okay we’re talking about i

mean mike you are

something of a doctor yourself it sounds

like because you’re

it sounds like it because yeah cause at

least i know what pain

and vagine is okay dr london do you have

a birthday

oh that’s a good question um on me

do you celebrate the day of your

birthday yes yeah

you had my christmas if you had a

birthday i would know about it right

uh i don’t tell you ever you know what

okay uh now crampy i don’t want you to

to spill the beans on any of this stuff

because i know we’ve talked but i don’t

want

um i know his birthday

no hey um so i i don’t

i’m not interest i didn’t say i was

interested okay

uh so so i’m you know i’m not always

considered to be a religious person so i

don’t celebrate every

specific tradition like this um

so if uh but like i have so much respect

for the cultures that do

so birthdays are not a religious

holiday it’s the day you came out of

your mother’s vagina

uh and once again so like and i don’t

know if that’s

is that buddhist or hind so it’s great

it’s so great that you have this and i

love it and

if you have this celebration i would

love to be a part

um and just whichever way you i’ll have

to read up on it

to know how to to to do so from my my

cultural perspective but my world view

but i

um i there’s gonna there’s gonna be a

learning process on my part is all i’m

saying

so uh but i’m so excited to learn yeah

my mike i promise you we can keep

hammering this

it’s never it is never going to get into

his brain i think it’s he’s blocked it

off

this is crazy all right i’ll leave it

alone

i just really wanted to try and get to

the bottom of it

but it doesn’t sound like we’re gonna is

there a bottom to a

bottomless well just a just a hole that

keeps on going

i you know it’s just it’s well

it’s not like the hole that i’ve been

eating out of lately yeah i want to

clarify that

like i really i’m so it’s fine if

if you believe in that stuff and i don’t

want to be

i don’t want to sound like i’m being

overbearing or critical it’s like i

think it’s great

it’s just not my personal thing like

voting

politically i will vote for that for for

you’d have the right to celebrate the

the bar but i

personally oh my god yeah no i mean yeah

dr london no one’s trying to take you

down you’re not being canceled for

for not knowing what your birthday is

it’s okay well

anyway i’m here to talk about my zine

i have a zine on mushrooms coming out oh

magic mike’s magic mushrooms this is

a limousine or a um it’s like a magazine

okay it’s like amazing but it’s made

using a home printer okay

okay so yeah it’s just like a series of

like paper

pieces of paper that you’re stapling

together which is functionally

a magazine yeah so what exactly but

what’s in it i mean are you

is it just pictures of mushrooms or are

you talking about your favorite

mushrooms or

what’s going on in it it’s like

some poetry about my mushrooms

oh there’s stuff

by about your mushrooms is this poetry

describing

what your mushrooms are or is this like

poetry you’ve written while

taking mushrooms both let me read one

okay

yeah dear mike tyson

you’re my favorite shroom my little

golden top

my knockout guy every time i eat you

you knock me out just like

mike tyson would if we

weren’t about oh wow

it even rhymed yeah yeah at the end

there it did

but so it is is there like a a type of

mushroom that’s called mike tyson or is

this something you’ve named a mushroom

it’s just one of my baby little

mushrooms okay this is your personal

name

you saw this mushroom and you’re like oh

yeah that’s mike tyson

yeah yeah yeah well i i named him that

after i ate him and he knocked me in the

wall

what are the what are the other names

though

well i got mike tyson i got agatha

christie

i got my fairy godmother

i got lady liberty i want to hear it

i want to hear with agatha christie you

say that you you name the mike tyson one

because it

you know punches you out just like mike

tyson would what does the agatha

christie one do

i just never know how she’s gonna turn

out are these

the names of i guess the strains of

mushrooms or is this each one you eat

them and then

yeah they’re strains and i me i make

them together

and then i eat their children and then i

decide

how their children makes me feel yeah i

get the christie’s a toss up

every time you take her you’re like i

don’t know how this is gonna

run so it’s like it’s like a mystery

yeah

okay but whereas the lady liberty

feels like a maybe like a gift from

france or is that

no it’s just very freeing

and sometimes you hear bells

like the liberty bell wow and i can

imagine like the medical

properties of something like that of

finally being able to hear bells all the

time

yeah it wouldn’t be the first drug that

that does that

so really yeah yeah it’s there

there are some things that can cause

tinnitus i i don’t want to steal your

thunder

uh because it’s actually it’s sometimes

seen as a

as a negative like that’s that’s not

seen as the most helpful thing

but um maybe that’s it’s not okay you

you sound very

you don’t like unsure now like is that

not like it just it to me

it sounds like a parade okay i feel like

i’m at a parade then i i get happy

okay so so whatever you take you take it

and you’re

you’re hearing this ringing noise in

your ears what you’re thinking is

it’s a it’s a parade granted people are

celebrating me yeah i get that yeah

i i sometimes i eat a shroom and i’m

like i don’t know who that was

and then i hear bells and i’m like oh

lady liberty i feel so free

okay wow so what else so is it just

poems is that the only thing in this

magazine

and sometimes i will press my mushrooms

in a book like a like a

pressed flower oh yeah and i’ll tuck

them in there you can eat them or you

can

plant them up to you okay

i i feel like you need more in a

magazine i’m just gonna throw that out

there

no you don’t i’m sorry have you started

releasing these already did you say or

are they gonna be my first one comes out

this

may may 2021 okay

i don’t know which day it’s a surprise

okay because

so so today it’s i believe it’s may 24th

so you’ve really only got a couple days

left yeah

maybe i’ll do tomorrow what’s tomorrow

may

may 25th okay okay so that’s what it’ll

be i’ll finish it tonight i’ll pull an

all-nighter and i’ll release it tomorrow

perfect great so well so so we asked

more just because

we assumed that you were kind of sad you

could

if you have criticisms like maybe maybe

there’s some validity to what cameron

was saying about the length of it and

the content yeah no i just

i think there could be a larger

variety of things well you could take

the week to maybe

flesh out something maybe we can help

you this is one thing i’m

i’m getting out here okay

well i why don’t you two do a poem

about the first time we were trying to

avoid here was the poem thing because we

felt like that was pretty covered

but you think that instead of another

poem we should do a ska

song yes that’s what i was going to uh

suggest next so i would love to have a

scott song in my head

[Music]

um

[Music]

so does that need lyrics or is that good

on its own i think that’s pretty good

and i think we can it takes just light

down under

sort of like those cards that you open

up and it says something you could

probably put that in the magazine

oh like a pop-up yeah like page three is

this song

yeah not no yeah not a pop-up like the

song is

is popping up in your ear but it should

have a pop-up as well

i think that’s that’s true like opens up

the the microchip whatever plays the

music

and then it also uh has a pop-up of

um i don’t know maybe maybe a mushroom

or

yeah oh right because you could have the

mushrooms in there so the pop-up would

be just a mushroom

in it so that’s pretty cool what if we

put like a tamagotchi in there

the that’s really good the licensing

might be tricky

um would you be willing to settle for a

giga patch

yeah sure the kitty cat one would be

great okay

okay well here’s here’s one one issue

that you might run into is also

costs like i’m wondering how many of

these uh

limits magazines are you trying to put

out is it

i think like 12 would be good

okay so okay do you have like customers

yet like have you sold this

to anyone i have 18 followers on

instagram

at magic mike’s magic mushrooms

okay well then i yeah i guess i’ve never

talked there okay that’s that’s way more

than we

yeah that’s man gosh um

okay i don’t know i don’t know why we’re

teaching you here it sounds like you’ve

really got it

um totally let me know like okay so

we’ve got the pop-up we’ve got the song

you’ve got the following you’ve got the

following clearly you’ve got the fan

base

yeah um and then we’ve got the poems

i mean there’s okay i’ve got something

here

what so and this is

people don’t know about this but i’ve

heard this joke

and i don’t know i don’t know how to

work it in but maybe you say

mike tyson is a fun guy

because and i’m sorry let me explain it

because that because this is science

so um well you know mushrooms are

actually he’s a bit of a controversial

figure

obviously he does have fun you know he

was on the hangover and things like that

but he seems to be known i mean for

anger issues abuse allegations i mean i

i don’t know if if he really is that fun

of a guy

so so in the context of what i was

saying it would actually be

in reference to the mushroom it’s a

mushroom joke dude

so shrimp so so i need to explain it so

mushrooms are in the um the grouping

of fungi fungus that’s type of

fungal thing so whenever you call it

what do you call mike tyson the mushroom

you call that mushroom a fun guy yeah i

know this is hard so you call that a fun

guy

to work this out maybe it would work

better

i get the christie i get the christie’s

a fun guy now agatha christie parties so

that i get more

yeah so she can [ __ ] rage

agatha christie huge party

okay just definitely a [ __ ] guy we

had mike tyson on that flight and mike

tyson was actually really

deep um and like really fun

you’re friends with mike tyson now

i mean a business association i guess we

haven’t talked we talked about those

earlier in the year but your

your new friends now that you find

celebrity

your your previous friend was the guy

who was fired from snl

for being racist and now it’s mike tyson

i don’t like these are bad influences

on you when they’re honestly he doesn’t

even

oh he wasn’t actually on an episode he

got fired he got hired and fired within

like a 24-hour period

oh i remember this now that was crazy

dude

london and him they we have private jets

all the time together and they’re on a

words with

friends group yeah i i will say like so

with that

guy we don’t we don’t even like we don’t

actually hang it like it’s just business

it’s just business yeah you’re just

you’re just like financially involved

with him yeah it’s not like a social

thing

no i because because that some of the

stuff that guy says i’m like whoa

okay not not my cup of tea um but no me

and mike tyson

he’s barely made any you know attempts

at my ears

so sure anyway we’re talking about mike

tyson a lot

i guess we should put that in the

magazine so maybe you’ve got your poem

about mike tyson

maybe you do like an entire spread of

just pictures of him boxing that’ll take

up like four or five pages

totally because right now we’re just

trying to fill we’re trying to make

content so anything

goes well you know what i’ll figure it

out you guys this is

i want to hear about you guys and your

experience with

mushrooms oh oh boy

um well i mean i i can talk about my

first

the first um yeah

so i i was i don’t know i was probably

um i want to say first in first grade

um and we you know when you’re having a

pizza party

you you sort of assume that every pizza

especially when you’re dealing with

kids that age is probably going to be

just pepperoni

or cheese maybe sausage or something

like that

um but i you know i didn’t realize what

i was what i was grabbing and it turned

out to be a

it had had pepperoni and mushrooms on it

and did you like have visuals or like

what oh yeah he well i’m sorry i don’t

want to speak for you but

oh yeah i mean i blacked out i blacked

out entirely oh

yeah dude just out like a light the

second i had that

pizza mushroom yeah because you had

gotten hit in the head that

at that point right you’re you’re taking

the bite and then a ball came out of

nowhere and hit you in the head and you

were out

yeah the guy who was mugging me had

thrown a baseball at my head to try to

knock me out yeah he’s pickpocketers man

have you two known each other since

first grade

no i’ve read his memoir yeah he read my

memoir

um i think dr london transferred to

the the vet clinic that we were living

at when i was

maybe second grade wow yeah

cute um just

i mean uh once again like most of what i

know about cameron is from his book

yeah uh so it’s oh yeah i mean we didn’t

even talk until we made this podcast

no we refused to talk yeah uh that was

that was pointed

um as anyway for my first experience

with uh

you know shrooms um so i had uh

it was like yourself it was a little bit

later in life it wasn’t as early uh but

i you know i was a teenager and um

we were having uh you know bee

stroganoff and you know

it’s made with of course beef and like

pasta and there were some

shrooms in there so it was kind of wild

uh i

ate it and then um like felt really full

afterwards and then took a nap

oh no that’s great

that’s like thanksgiving

i should clarify like it was cooked with

the mushrooms but i actually i don’t i

don’t really eat mushrooms so i ate

around it but like i

the the flav the the infusion from the

mushrooms for sure got

yeah like man it hit me ugh so

uh anyways that’s that’s how we were

super relatable on this

totally i feel like i’ve known you guys

my whole life dude like i love

this what we got going right now

yeah you you know you would love this

private plane we’ve got going

like we get we invite all these um

celebrities on there like oh we got well

we already said i would imagine

letting mike tyson try the the mushroom

version well i mean but there has to be

a seat available dr london right i mean

you kind of implied that there wasn’t a

free seat so

you know oh i don’t need a seat i could

just like sit on the ground or whatever

on somebody’s lap

for a business associate like it’d be

fine like this magazine actually sounds

really good and it sounds like

something really relatable and sounds

like you’re gonna bring a lot of

viewpoints with your um

uh whatever with the whatever that dance

whenever you bring a girl over a thing

that you’re talking about

oh yeah so uh i bet you could talk to to

all the other guys about that

like it’d be great so yeah there’s um

there’s plenty of room for for business

associates sure totally if you guys need

like a stripper on the plane too

i could do that i could like dance all

around the plane okay okay

so maybe when you had said earlier that

you’re not the stripper magic mike

you’re like no i’m just i’m just

paintless because it’s just guys here

yeah but you also do enjoy stripping

yeah totally oh my god i love it

i love it especially bachelorette

parties

oh okay so people are paying you to

strip

yes sometimes yeah okay i kind of am a

guy who does a lot of odd jobs and

that’s one of my

jobs pretty odd huh yeah jack off old

trades yeah

you know i i would say i think it’s

you know your birthdays your jobs

whatever

i think it’s fine and i once i will

vote accordingly like i think i think

it’s very okay that you

have worked yeah this job no one was

saying otherwise dr london again you

were you were not going to be fired from

this podcast because

someone mentioned

i i don’t actually don’t know what’s

going on in your head dr london

no there’s there’s a mention that like

you said it’s okay

that that that’s their job yeah i was

just gonna say of course like

of course that’s okay and also it’s okay

to have a

whatever crazy birthday thing whatever

like it’s all fine just because it’s

different from me culturally

uh like i don’t i don’t know that i’ve

ever been paid to strip now i’ve

checked no no i’ve never been paid no i

haven’t been paid for that no

well any sort of transaction is payment

dr london

it doesn’t have to just be cash

like if i you and i shake hands

we one person paid the other for a

handshake

with a handshake okay

i guess yeah then maybe i’ve a little

bit but anyway

you know we we’ve all had to pay for

whatever medical school stuff whatever

way

um it’s but let’s talk about so

so you’ve you’ve done some some

stripping work then totally

i mean if a girl calls me and it’s like

hey mike i got this bachelorette party

can you bring shrooms and i’m like yeah

of course i can and i can bring you a

little something extra

and then she says okay whatever and then

i show

up i have a boom box

and i just turn it on and

usually it’s creep from radiohead

comes on and do they let you into the

house at this point

yeah i’m like hey ladies i i’m the

shroom guy i got the shrooms and of

course they let me in they

asked for that yeah and then

that much yeah they asked for that much

and then i turn on creep

by radiohead and i start to cry and

when i start to cry they all go oh

mike what are you what’s wrong and then

i’m like

fooled yeah and then i i changed the

song and then it’s

barrel barrel barrel barrel

you know what’s that song it’s a sexy

song

bro yeah that’s the one

so is that it yeah and then they’re like

oh you got us

mike and i’m like i’m here to strip for

you is that okay and they say

yeah and then okay you get consent

that’s yeah i guess

and then i just do it i i body roll i

worm

now that you mention it okay i have i’ve

definitely

done my share of stripping then because

i have also shown up to places where i

was supposed to bring something

and then i have also set up a boom box

right and started playing

music and doing the work i have also

started doing the worm

um and uh you know like

those times the most recent one was like

uh there’s a kidney transplant and i was

it was me bringing the kidney

and so i’m yeah so i’m you know

we’re in the or whatever and i’m like

hey got it uh

and i’m like hey and i got something

extra for you too oh

your job is just like scrubs it’s just

like scrubs

yeah so i’m doing the worm like anyway

that’s it just

it’s so crazy how our jobs are so

similar yeah

i mean i told you i feel like we have a

lot in common

yeah you you grow mushrooms and try to

put out a mushroom magazine and also are

a stripper

yeah and i’m a doctor who it’s and so

i mean who does a podcast isn’t that not

the same thing her podcast is this

magazine

his podcast is this his podcast is

a magazine totally that’s me and

you know listen you guys it’s a zine i

only said magazines so dr london would

understand right

sorry they’re way cooler than magazines

because they’re smaller

they’re less professional looking and

they’re made at home

it implies uh that it’s diy

it limousines are longer

yeah that’s that’s common misconception

so limousines

uh we’re talking about zines so

limousines are actually the longer

version of a car

yeah so that might be a point of

confusion for you there

uh i know you said they’re they’re

shorter sorry about this dr london is

just learning about some of these words

that

limousine was part of our lessons this

week cameron

be honest how’s this guy’s bedside

manner

it’s gotta be out of ten what would you

rate it

oh well you know he’s kind of fussy when

i start reading the book at his bedside

um but by the time he quite quiets down

and and finally falls asleep

he’s great he’s out the whole night oh

that’s very sweet

you read him do you read him a book to

fall asleep

i love that yeah harry potter

right which i and by the way harry

potter you know in that world i think

you know

their beliefs are their beliefs and i

think it’s great

uh and i you know that that’s just

dr london yeah you’re you’re fine you’re

okay

you are so stressed right now you calm

down are you starting to sound more and

more like a christian

are you a christian dr london

yeah and so so we all have these

different things that we kind of

put our beliefs in and so you may

celebrate this i may celebrate that

so for me though um just i’m this is i’m

being professional

which means that i am not allowed to

believe in anything

except for medicine i always suffer

medicine and also contractually

via koala cola we are not allowed to um

to claim any particular uh

faith or belief well we do believe in

the great taste

of koala cola which is a big part of it

tastes just like down under it tastes

just like down under

thank you thank you crappy so but i do

about the zines i love you you do make a

good point because you hear magazine

you’re like oh

is this am i i’m just flipping through

gq and it’s so professional

but a zine you know that it was made by

a person while they were stoned

you know that it like the paper that it

was on cost them too much money to make

and is also still just terrible quality

somehow yeah you guys

and you know that they got their friends

to doodle in it some

and that that’s supposed to mean

something to you these are all amazing

things

yeah and it’s very underground it’s very

cool and

yeah in the basement yeah

okay so it it sounds you know it sounds

really fun it sounds like you’ve really

got some

some uh you know different segments

different new points hopefully to bring

in thanks to you um

yeah so we’ve really expanded this out

yeah i would like

uh maybe some royalties from this how

much are you selling per mag

and i was thinking like 43 cents

oh okay yeah that sounds sustainable for

the 12

you’re gonna sell yeah i wanted 43 cents

total so whatever 43 divided by 12 is

that’s how many cents each oh wow 43

divided by 12.

so you’re you’re just it’s 12 okay so

it’s 12

total oh sorry it’s 48

total for all 12 copies of the magazine

40.

okay all your buddies are like going in

on it together okay this is one of those

things

they teach you this and you know in med

school how to do this quick so that’s

um that does come out to be 3.583

repeating threes perfect you can write

me a check for that right

i’d say go ahead and round that up maybe

so it’s three point

five nine cents so can we run into

that are you trying to sell us so one of

one of the 12 copies is for us

no i’m just one well you sure i guess i

could give you one but

i’m just wondering how people will pay

me 3.59

cents do they have to write me a check

uh well i think if you do you take

crypto

hell yeah brother yeah okay so if i can

i’ll send you some litecoins okay yeah

we can’t afford to send bitcoin no

oh god no no not even like that value of

bitcoin it’s too expensive to just work

with

so we we only deal in litecoin and

even that um we’re trying to move away

from that and into

koala coin perfect joint

get hit me up on robin hood give me

three cents of koala coin

and 3.5 9.59 and i will send you a zine

okay that sounds great yeah well uh

before i want to

i want to say something here a lot of

people have talked about

um the environmental aspect and impact

of cryptocurrencies but i do want to say

for koala coin which is owned by

koala cola no koalas were killed in the

making of these digital coins

oh yeah i i should there’s been

lots of online rumors that the servers

are

powered by a machine that has fed koalas

as sort of a fuel

and that’s abs that is absurd that is

ridiculous

just because the koala population drops

very suddenly at peak hours of factory

work

yeah just just because it’s climate

change it’s climate change and frankly

i think that the lesson here is like we

need to give to green energy

we need to really go green we really

need to go green and we need to

stop accusing koala cola of all these

things that they clearly didn’t do

and also maybe like maybe stop checking

up so much on the qualicol

factories because like these guys

they’re busy great

they’re great oh yeah busy as well but

it’s going to say like we can vouch for

them they’re great

we can legally contra actually have to

vouch for them so

yeah we’re just just sorry i’m really

sorry about it but yeah if we can

uh i i i’m trying to say i want to

subscribe to your zine is

as well yeah that’s that’s what that was

thank you i knew you two were gonna be

cool and i wanna i wanna maybe put the

jock doc

podcast seal of approval on it as well

yeah endorsement i mean is that an issue

i think he is basically a doctor dr

london

yeah because we know the medical

advantages of

getting shroomed up pacilla kyben

exact see that’s medicine talk yeah

yeah no i you know having talked about

maybe

you know uh magic mike you joining us

for these these plane rides and for um

you know going on this private jet i

feel like we could really

um talk things out make some real you

know do some networking make some

connections

that’s i think our seal of approval is

the least of what we can do for this

i feel like we you know we’ve kind of

made some progress on this

so if you wouldn’t mind uh magic mike i

feel like it’s about time to

uh work on our chores it’s just

you know it’s one of these things where

you you keep putting it off but

we we have to get these chores done yeah

for

for maybe our listeners who haven’t

haven’t listened in a while

or maybe you’re a new listener uh

basically dr london

and i have been neglecting our chores

neglecting our to-do list for a really

really long time

like we i mean we haven’t been doing the

dishes we haven’t been doing our laundry

the trash has sort of attracting bats

um which is not yet not great um

we haven’t even drained the moat we

haven’t drained them out in

months and i know someone’s living down

there

yeah i was gonna say like the gators and

crocodiles are obviously fine but it’s

the um

it’s the amount of uh stragglers the all

the people that get stuck in there

because who who gets in trouble for that

that’s us that’s our liability yeah

people don’t know that but your home

insurance

doesn’t cover things like someone

getting hurt in your mouth

yeah it’s frustrating and so we created

this really cool

chore wheel which is this big wheel that

has all of our thousands of chores on it

that we’ve got to get done

and every week we spin it and whatever

it lands on we have to do that chore

even if we don’t want to thousands

thousands yeah we’re way behind on on

everything

we get we get hundreds of new chores a

day yeah and the pace we’re going at one

a week is not

catching up at all and things

keep getting stacked higher and higher

it’s really

any case uh so magic mike would you mind

giving the

the chore wheel a spin and you can do it

i don’t know if you want to

play your boombox song for it if that’ll

help you

get into it i’m just going to sing a

couple lines

okay i’m a creep

[Music]

you’re making yourself tear up and cry i

know

god at least you two are cool i know i

can cry in front

and sing in front of you yeah it’s just

you felt really touched by your you

singing that

what i love also is that you know you

did bring out the boombox

but it’s you played the acapella version

yeah of you singing it that’s my style

baby that’s magic mike

all right let’s spin this wheel

oh no what did i get

uh well it’s just one of the many things

we don’t really want to

have to do but um and cameron i feel

like you’re not gonna

there’s now i can see how you might feel

left out for this one

um well yeah so it yeah of course it

says

um design your

dream private jet interior

so um so cameron i guess if you

it’s hard for me to picture what a

private jet because i haven’t been on

just because

the there’s all the seats have been

taken like you were saying right now

well i mean i like to put my feet up but

i was gonna say like i can’t see a

reason why you would be on a private jet

in the first place

oh i could never even imagine myself

doing that or anything like that

couldn’t i don’t know um yep but uh

i guess i guess i’ll go first um uh i

get so i already kind of have the setup

that i like

to some extent oh okay so you’ve yeah

you’ve done this before then i mean i’ve

uh i like i had a say in

in what we were working with whenever i

designed it

um sorry i didn’t i didn’t design all of

it like there were certain regulations

like how many seats and one is like a

shared thing right don’t you own

it with other celebs yeah i mean it was

the

jock talk podcast patreon really that

that paid for it but

right um no we definitely the celebs

really appreciate riding with us

um so i’m with us meaning me and uh

crampy yeah so

crampy koala that is so anyway uh

so for one thing of course what any good

uh private jet’s gonna have

is the seats are all those

giant hand style seats um

and you know to up it a little bit to

make it fancier you of course

uh each of the fingers can bend back a

little bit yeah so you can you can

recline

uh the head as well as the full the full

hand

not to tell you what to do at all but

think about this

fingerless gloves oh

[ __ ] okay no just

it’s it’s kind of funny because it it’s

almost like you think you know what a

private jet is like

i no no no look i’m not trying to speak

like yeah out of mind oh yeah it’s funny

it’s funny that you think that

yeah no i mean this is out of my

wheelchair it’s above my paint grade

but just i would just think it would be

cool you know

kind of kind of fingerless gloves

they’re so cool

i wear them any time i put on my

nightmare before christmas t-shirt

yeah and yeah i just i know i just

thought they would be cool

i don’t know but i i’ve never been on a

private plane so i don’t know yeah i

don’t know

yeah no and it’s it’s so it’s so funny

that you think that that would be

appropriate

so um anyway a little bit like so

yeah so snacks good okay i i don’t wanna

i don’t wanna cut you off here but i

i feel like you’re gonna you’re gonna

throw in another thing that doesn’t

really make sense

oh no maybe chips or something would be

people like chips

that’s cute

[Laughter]

oh no i was just kidding oh i was just

joking

you definitely would wouldn’t give out

chips on the

the private plane no i guess

oh you’ve you’ve flown commercial before

yeah okay that that makes

um so no so on a private jet of course

for

for my private jet at least uh we have

uh shrimp

grilled shrimp and so normally on a

normal jet you couldn’t have freshly

grilled you can

you know have it put everything on the

grill right there but of course for

private jet you can that’s that’s not

that’s not a huge thing

to manage so we do have the all the

grilled shrimp there and that’s that’s

the main thing and the people who are

allergic to that

um aren’t invited they aren’t invited

yeah

uh yeah and so that’s the main thing and

then of course the music

is uh very

honestly the the oddest coincidence

today but it is

um an acapella version of uh creep by

radiohead um it’s not magic mike’s

although i am excited to put that on the

rotation

uh it’s the version from the the social

network

trailer where it’s like a kid’s choir

yeah i was just gonna recommend that

i love that one it makes me cry

instantly

oh gosh you’re tearing up again mike

here get get mike some kleenex yeah

oh just little kids singing about being

little

creeps oh just it touches your heart

so it does alternate between that

version and

crampy had i mean you you all know from

crampy cola their publicity campaign

crampy also sings uh crampy’s own

version of it

anyway um so so it alternates between

those two versions and then

in terms of the lighting it’s only laser

lights

so you walk on and there’s no like

spotlight there’s no regular lights

there’s only laser lights

and uh it can it could kind of make it

tough to to

to navigate but it also kind of makes it

fun to navigate

so because i’m a cramp

cramp yeah uh koala cola

why the hell am i drinking something

that’s not koala cola

this drink doesn’t belong here

i’m really surprised do you know about

that

that’s actually kidding me right now i

know it’s just

i don’t know what it is if it’s the note

progression or

what okay so um magic mike do you have a

you know what’s your ideal private jet

i’d like i’m sorry you’re gonna have to

work with our

vision and for ours but if you were to

personalize your own private job i would

want the whole jet to be an aquarium

so like okay you have to wear you’re

basically scuba diving the whole time

you’re in the air you got an oxygen

tank that makes sense and there’s fish

and there’s one shark

one snake oh okay

are they is it a nice shark and a nice

snake are they

are they mean it’s a toss-up oh you

don’t even know

no part of the fun

okay so so one of them is going to be

nice

it may be so is it a different

shark in a different snake each time you

ride on the plane or is that their

their moods change a lot it it’s a

different shark and a different

pl a different snake because you don’t

want that to be the whole life you know

just oh yeah it’s just flying back and

forth yeah

travel is so exhausting oh they would

hate that

yeah yeah so that’s what i would want

okay is it so it’s is it just full of

water or is it like

like is there salt water but do you have

like a little castle or something

like uh like a real aquarium or like uh

oh yeah we could do a little aquarium

castle

little sea grass or oh yeah would your

would your ideal private plane be able

to

i guess i guess just if you have a

powerful enough engine

then it would be able to take off even

while filled with water

uh yeah but only if you’ve got like two

people in there

okay so you understand this issue

okay okay so and i would guess that if

you don’t

like if you have more than two people on

there you can just go ahead and

keep it on the ground and have it a

private plane party without taking off

at all

i love that you don’t have to go

anywhere also i would like there to be a

little

mold just to add character in there

you know my guess is that there will be

mold regardless of

whether you try to make there be mold or

not good um

kind of a fun guy yeah just a little fun

guy over here she’s fun it’s a guy who’s

fun so the guy’s having a good time so

that’s why you would call him a fun guy

a fun guy it’s a fun so i’m sorry to

interrupt sorry

yeah sorry but uh i think so i think

magic mike is finished with explaining

oh his part um so it’s your i feel

embarrassed

i feel embarrassed now because i feel

like everything i suggest like the crazy

hypothetical that you

that you would have access like be able

to look inside one

yeah yeah or look at a picture of one i

i couldn’t even

yeah like you that part of austin powers

whenever they’re on a plane

uh on a private jet you you weren’t

allowed to watch that yeah you cut it

out

because on the vhs you physically cut

the tape of that scene

that’s right and so it just jumps from

but i mean so i guess in my plane i mean

i hope it’s not too

like weird or whatever i i guess just

comfortable seats and

that’s so cute

i’m gonna play this song it’d be cool to

like if everyone got a pillow

or maybe maybe like a

drink of their choice alcoholic beverage

if they want or maybe a coffee or tea

to eat maybe like a meal

okay maybe they oh man that was good

sorry you keep going keep going if you

got more that’s just

you know i mean like you know it’d be

cool if

you know it there was maybe someone who

came down and picked up the trash

after you’re done with your your meal

this guy’s are you a comedian

uh no i mean i’m a podcast producer

primarily i

you know i do consider myself to have a

decent sense of humor

um but you know it’s it i’ve never

thought that before today

but this is something here yeah

um and i guess like you could i just you

could take this on the road i just

found your voice and it’s going to have

to be on the road of course because you

you’re not going to travel by air i know

that much mostly i just want to be able

to get to where i’m going

safely so i can i can see my friends and

family

to go back wow

all right anyway so that’s um i think

that’s the last of the chores if we want

to call that a proper answer i guess we

can

um so magic mike if you want to go ahead

and um go ahead and burn

the chore wheel alive um

yeah you’re gonna go ahead and um yeah

there’s a

there’s a furnace there and um it’s

gonna scream

but you’re gonna go ahead and just uh

you’re gonna close that furnace

all right i’ve made lobster before i can

handle this

yeah yeah but you’re gonna what i’m

saying is you’re gonna want to close the

furnace before the screams get

like very audible okay

okay it went well

great i feel like we’ve we’ve learned so

much about you magic mike if you could

uh

just share with uh our listeners how did

people keep up with you after this

okay i’m a big fan of this other new

podcast called

the stoner chicks podcast

okay i love stoners i love chicks it’s a

podcast

uh about stoner chicks well it’s a

cannabis

comedy podcast

okay that’s okay that’s that’s a whole

new

i’m glad i’m glad it wasn’t based on

shrooms

or mushroom things because i feel like

we’ve exhausted that topic completely so

this is

totally it’s okay four ladies they’re

all comics

from seattle slash new mexico

oh yeah the seattle slash new mexico

scene

yeah that’s what constantly having to go

back and forth that drive

kills people well they’ve they’ve

thought of

um opening up the borders you know in a

very real level right then uh yeah i

hope

to go to new mexico without a passport

sometimes

yeah just like they’ve joined those so

much okay

so yeah you can find them on instagram

at stonerchickspodcast or on twitter at

stonerchickspod

or on facebook.comtonerchicks69420

okay so there’s that i don’t i don’t

i don’t understand that the numerical

aspect like oh i’m trying to do the math

here

you never will doc you never will okay

it’s all right dr lyndon it’s like a

it’s a math joke you’re not a math guy

you’re a science guy

uh i felt like i was following the math

but it was like once they got to the

i don’t know what 69 anyway uh that’s i

guess it sounds nice

but um it’s a reference it’s a reference

to the ariana grande song

3435. okay

if you add it together okay um

all right well uh anyway thank you so

much to uh magic mike for being on the

podcast

thank you to uh our producer cameron uh

thank you to

uh crampy koalas it tastes just like down unduh

thank you to DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

dear mike tyson damn i am my favorite

little golden

hi kids you’re about to listen to comedy podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice if you need medical advice or medical care

please contact your doctor welcome to

the jock doc podcast powered by koala cola and yes

koala cola does taste just like down

under yes

and no it’s not made with koala

have you ever even tried koala cola have

you tried it

no of course you haven’t because if you

did you’d know it tastes just like down

under

so what the f are we even talking about

koala parts

how many times do we need to say it

there’s no koala in the soda

hello and welcome to the jock doc podcast

part of the koala cola network where we

discuss fitness and health and how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host dr londonsmith.com

and i’m krampy koala cool

okay uh i would like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners

we’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using such as

endoscopic retrograde

cholangiopancreatography

and scissors sizzle thistle sizzle

so i will try to temper my terminology

to a simpler one in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron hey

dr london and i want to remind everyone

i feel like we always forget

to mention this um but today is our our

special seattle themed episode every

single episode we’ve done is based on a

special location around the world

yeah um and i mean we we kind of go to

the ends of the earth for

this i mean we’re we’re recording at the

tip of the space needle right now

yeah and it’s it’s tough because we have

balanced

this the the whole table on top of it oh

it’s awful it sucks

there’s a lot of i’m i’m so glad it’s

not that windy today

that was the big fear for me i was

listening back to some older episodes

recently and i was like we didn’t even

mention that

we were like like hanging under the arch

in st

louis you’re sure we didn’t

i listened to the whole thing didn’t

even mention it and i’m like we’re

spending so much money on

on this travel and setup thing i just i

could have sworn we mentioned

it because that one that one especially

because you fell

we we lost you for most of the episode

yeah

but no it’s not even it’s just sort of

skipped over so dj

maybe dj dylan if we do reference our

special

themed location make sure to keep it in

this time

nope yeah okay yeah maybe and i don’t

want to obviously don’t want to blame

david

like the audio was bad for that part

yeah maybe so that could have happened

okay so um when we were deep in the

jungle and

there was definitely a lot of things

growling at us i can understand wanting

to cut that out i’m sure that affects

like the acoustics

yeah yeah uh yeah

it’s it’s been a thing i mean i’m also

thinking of the time whenever

you just we went storm chasing also like

in the hurricanes and

uh northern russia yeah that’s right

um anyway so so all of these issues

have come up and so i do see you know

i’m not an audio engineer i don’t know

yeah i’m not a technical guy but you

know hopefully this makes it in the show

special seattle themed episode we’re all

eating sushi

um and that’s it yeah and there’s rain

sometimes i mean

yeah yeah it’s a lot of rain

well and also oh bill gates he gave me

this cool microchip

that he said to just go ahead and inject

it into my

hand and so i’m going to do that yeah

and you were saying

uh that that you you got the vaccine a

long while back this is just

just a microchip oh this is by itself

yeah yeah

yeah yeah so yeah it’s a qr code

and when you scan it it takes you right

to msn.com

not not being we’re still trying to

figure out that technology but right

now it’s like an nfc chip and you tap

your phone

boom you’re right there on msn and and

it’s great because it

you know you’d think that that would be

such a waste of money

to just put only that on a microchip but

but chips are so cheap these days

that’s right yeah and injection it is

cheaper to do that

than to waste my time going to my

browser

clicking the address bar and typing in

msn.com

yeah so i mean great that we found a

cost-effective way to do that

um just for the seattle theme so that’s

our producer cameron also with us is

digital in the house

i know you don’t remember

[Music]

me

[Music]

i

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

and later cameron tells that we can

expect a special guest

wow that’s right dr london yeah so look

forward to that uh but before we move on

i would like to address a bit of

listener feedback

so this note comes from one lucky

drinker of koala cola

who collected enough exploded koala cola

canned

shrapnel to win a bit of free medical

advice

so the note reads quote

have you seen my pet cat chunkles it

swallowed my sister’s hamster

and we need the hamster back for legal

reasons end quote

so first of all thank you to this

listener for uh for reaching out to us

through

uh the koala cola can uh shrapnel

uh so we’d love to hear back from our

listeners uh to answer your question

uh i haven’t i don’t think i’ve seen

your cat chunkles

no um cameron have you seen a cat that

i guess recently ate some

someone’s sister’s hamster because they

the hamster is what they need

yeah i’m trying to think through the

cats that i’ve seen eat things recently

let’s see there’s that one it’s just cat

food that’s all i’m coming up with

yeah so not even mice

let me think let’s see what are there

mice that are

tiny little brown pellets that come in a

bag

no no i think that is cat food no but

good yeah then that’s i’m gonna

default back to that then or fecal

matter okay

um so in a bag

i i made you know some people scoop out

the litter box and

and then put in a bag so i’m not sure if

it was trash

kind of okay yeah i guess i can look

into that okay

yeah okay so so to this listener

cameron’s gonna look into it

uh so thank you for reaching out and i i

i do think we should

clarify here is that

people are talking about missing cats

dead cats or

dead hamsters or cats or whatever there

is no koala in koala cola i feel like

someone might make that connection and

might try to twist our words to mean

something that it doesn’t

it tastes just like down under it tastes

just like down under that is the

the famous motto of koala cola there is

no koala in koala cola i feel like

any time i feel like anytime we bring up

like animals eating other animals

eating an animal we need to like it’s

good to clarify that yeah legally we’re

obligated

so many people keep saying it i’m sorry

i missed it yeah uh

and it’s great to great to clarify um

all right and and also like just because

there’s one specific

sort of triangular area where all these

koalas go missing

doesn’t mean that they’re being

taken to a manufacturing plant and and

kind of squeezed into a soda

yeah it’s clear i mean look at it look

at the and it’s climate change one

also bermuda triangle right it’s not

like anyone was putting like amelia

earhart into a into a soda

it was just it’s just magic in that

triangle that makes them disappear

just probably like these koalas you know

i just

i just realized something that maybe i

should clarify for our listeners um so

so crampy koala cola’s voice might sound

a little bit different

this week and that’s because so last

week there there was a spokesperson for

uh that you know one by the name crabby

koala cola and they kept saying some

false things about the ingredients

about the treatment of koalas involved

in the koala process

so we just want to clarify you know we

we got this new spokesman

whose same same name same same flavor

you know

just just doesn’t say wrong things so

much

so that’s exactly uh but and cancel

culture

yes right cancel culture all right um

now for today’s medical topic alcoholic

liver disease

alcoholic liver disease is a chronic

lung condition caused by chronic intake

of excessive amounts of alcohol

in the short term the liver you know

just becomes fatty you’ve heard of fatty

liver uh this fatty liver tends to

result from binge drinking i feel like

that’s very presumptuous that i’ve

heard of fatty liver you don’t know what

i’ve heard of and what i’m sort of

invested in or interested in or spending

my time in

okay well have you heard of it um

no but i feel like i can assume what it

is

yeah it so it’s just like a fat liver

right yeah well it’s fatty it’s got more

fat

than yeah yeah okay this is like the

thing where they force feed ducks

right and then it makes their liver

fatty and then we eat it uh

that’s actually very comparable to

non-alcoholic

uh steroidal hepatitis

[Music]

there’s a there’s a fatty um version

where it’s just

people taking a lot of fat and then it

yeah kills the liver

and that that would probably mostly

affect people who have a feeding tube

of sort of fatty corn based material

being shoved down their throat

um for hours a day huh are you okay yeah

i feel like you’re referring to a movie

or

something there like no that’s what they

do with the ducks

okay yes yes with the ducks um in any

case so this is from alcohol as opposed

to that and for that diagnosis which

we’ll cover

uh you actually have to rule out the the

alcohol aspect

but this comes from drinking you know at

least

four or five servings of alcohol within

a two-hour period with binge drinking

and doing that over and over and sort of

the long term

cirrhosis of the liver occurs when you

maintain excessive drinking habits

chronically over time and 15 to 20

percent of heavy drinkers develop

alcoholic cirrhosis

so cirrhosis and this is a drinking game

it’s like the first one to get this is

it’s like a power hour and it’s like the

first one to get this

is wins it without throwing up or

whatever

it it’s not it’s not an hour no it’s

it’s very long term i i wouldn’t

recommend this drink so it’s like a

hardcore power hour then huh

it in a sense yeah but i would say the

rewards for it aren’t good so i’m gonna

so the rewards for it what cirrhosis

it’s a chronic liver disease

characterized by fibrosis so it’s like

your liver having so many scars from

injuries

that the formerly functioning part of

the liver is just scars

so it cannot do its normal job some of

these jobs include making coagulation

factors that keep you from bleeding out

as well as making proteins like albumin

and the conversion of hormones like

estrogen

okay so you’re saying it’s less about

who gets this first it’s more about

whoever has the most visible scars

that is sort of the winner of this and

you know

if you if you’re trying to and it’s just

called the fatty liver game

no no this is alcoholic liver disease

alcoholic yeah cervical disease

game cirrhosis game i don’t know that

it’s

so if you wanted to make it a game which

i would

not shot roses i feel like that’s a

better name

this is a fun game called shot rosis and

you just

keep i mean if you want to attach a

specific

liquor to it you can too if you want it

to be like fireball or something

okay so and and i wouldn’t recommend

getting this this is actually bad so

another issue is that blood from your

digestive tract

that normally flows to the liver when

the liver is serosed

less blood can get through so it the

blood backs up and

increases blood pressure between the

digestive tract and the liver and that’s

known as portal hypertension

so this causes swelling in the abdomen

and spleen and in certain blood vessels

including the ones in the throat uh and

that causes

esophageal varices so it’s the blood

vessels in your throat just swelling up

so those can burst and cause bloody

vomit

or black stool uh

just like a power hour yeah i feel like

you don’t want this

so it’s um it can also cause hepatic

encephalopathy from a build-up of toxins

in the brain that the liver normally

would detoxify or remove and so the

patients with hepatic encephalopathy can

have decreased mental function or

confusion

they can have a flapping tremor with

their hands called asterixis

rigidity hyperreflexia pheter hepaticus

and that’s a musty odor of breath

clinically

these patients you know they could have

all those things but they could also

have

no noticeable findings early in the

disease uh others may have that

that bleeding in the throat that i

mentioned and that’s the most

life-threatening complication of the

portal hypertension

treatment includes treating the

underlying disease so

abstaining from alcohol is an obvious i

think

usually i think just like gatorade or

pedialyte

like the morning after you know what i

mean you’re gonna like a cure for a

hangover

i would say do that and then make some

like i don’t know biscuits and gravy

with sausage something like

real just good and fatty

okay so and well once again this is

chronic that i think you’re talking a

little bit more about acute and even so

an acute disease it’s so if varices are

present the first step is to stabilize a

patient with iv

fluids if they are hemodynamically

unstable once stabilized emergent upper

gi endoscopy is performed for diagnosis

and to treat the hemorrhage either with

varicel

ligation or sclerotherapy iv triotide

can help in the acute setting and to

prevent recurrence you can use

non-selective beta blockers like

propanol timolola and nadal

uh for the hepatic encephalopathy that’s

the part where the brain gets filled

with toxins

they can be given lactulose to prevent

the absorption of ammonia

they can give it be given um rifaximin

which is an antibiotic that kills bowel

flora

and so it decreases the ammonia

production by intestinal bacteria

and just because just because you’re not

in college anymore

doesn’t mean that you can’t do these

kind of drinking games

this is one thing you know i think

people once they get too

old they sort of settle into a pattern

of

not not just being kids anymore you know

what i mean

not having fun and so i encourage you if

you’re

40 years old listen to this 50 60

70 years old let’s get some shot roses

going

go down to the liquor store let’s uh

let’s pump this up

okay and okay so some other

complications

we’re nearly done with explaining the

what i see as a

pretty bad disease and what you see as a

game uh

and if you’re if you’re sober from

liquor then i mean

wine or beer works great too you just

have to do larger quantities

okay so um other complications include

panorino syndrome

that’s treated with octreotide metadrine

you can have hepatopulmonary syndrome

that’s characterized by orthodoxy

or that’s hypoxia when you’re sitting

upright they can have

a spontaneous bacterial peritonitis

hyperestronism

blood clots and hepatocellular carcinoma

ultimately once the liver becomes

serosed the cure is a

liver transplant and you can’t get one

of those unless you’re abstaining from

alcohol for

more than six months uh everyone with

cirrhosis should get an ultrasound every

six months

every six months to screen for cancer uh

because of course

that that irritation that cirrhosis and

fibrosis can can cause cancer

but again just pedialyte the morning

after i feel like that’s gonna affect

that’s gonna like

really get you get you up and going

again

or just chill out you know what i mean

just like have a day to yourself on the

couch and just watch tv

you know yeah well

we can go and move on from there if

that’s you know

i i feel like any advice you give here

is really not going to be good for

for the listener well

you think that there’s not enough like

rules in the game because right now it

sounds like it’s just you

you just drink until you get this

disease

you think there maybe should be like so

then what if before they drink you know

they’ve got to take like the little

little crown off the

off the cup kind of like in king’s cup

yeah i’m i feel like or just yeah

like just we’ll just add the like the

thumb thing like if someone puts their

thumb on the table

everyone has to do it real quick so you

just do that

you keep doing shots um until you get

this disease and then i think that i

think that’ll be good

okay and that’s you know that’s

cameron’s opinion i i want to you know

remind our listeners that cameron is not

a medical professional per se he’s more

he’s a producer

more of a medical guru yeah all right

we can move on from there say i’m a guru

he’s a guru okay thank you that’s not

[Music]

all right uh cameron you said that we

have a special guest today is that right

that’s right dr london but here’s the

thing though

is that i don’t know who it is the

person is they like their

publicist called us right but like

they weren’t willing to tell us like who

the guest was so

they’re hiding they’re hiding right

behind that door

okay do you wanna no okay

oh all right so i’ll just i’ll pull the

door string

okay you do it yeah okay uh

hello there my name is dr

londonsmith.com and this is our producer

cameron and what was your name

hey baby it’s donald glover how y’all

doing

oh how am i doing how are you how is

london doing yeah because yeah this is

just

directed to me yeah how are you doing i

would say the

the deepness of your v-neck right now dr

london scrubs are

have a very very deep v right now i

would say that it’s showing you

showing a very confident positive

attitude yeah

uh i mean it’s just it’s just my style

too well we can

just i mean donald you’re you’re sort of

a fashion expert yourself like you’re

known for your

your style i mean what do you think of

dr london’s

extremely deep veed scrubs

i do like that v-neck but you know

i got different sides of my personality

like me donald

you know i just like to dress like uh

you know like kind of like kanye on the

college dropout album

but you know you know childish gambino

he don’t wear shirts

ever oh no because you gotta show like

london’s like a mix

okay so i guess maybe

a compromise would be dr london could

you do sort of a crop top like maybe cut

your shirt your scrubs in half so you’re

showing

showing a little bit of your abs you’re

saying that we should

that i should because his his fashion

preference is different then i should go

ahead and

take out these scissors you’re handing

me the scissors and just

just make this into a crop top right now

yeah i mean donald’s making a great

point you’ve got these different

personalities in the same way that

i mean donald it sounds like you sort of

compartmentalize

your you as donald and also childish

gambino

and in the city these two sides two

sides in the same way we’ve got dr

london the um kind of dog napper

and just scoundrel and also dr london

the podcasting doctor

okay so and i i do i want to bring up

you know something here

because i know you’re you’re talking as

if our all of our listeners will know

who this

is you know i only recently heard about

uh there’s there’s a tv show um

called community uh i i recently heard

about it

and recently yeah it’s it’s um

dr london is not allowed to watch a lot

of

television yeah and i’m not allowed to

listen to any music

so no it’s um his mom gets really mad

and so he has to like stay up super late

and sort of like sneak in the living

room to to watch it

like like keep the haul the tv wow dr

london i didn’t know he was listening

like that

i mean um well i’m donald glover

uh i i was on community and i

i got my own show it’s called atlantis

on fx we want a lot of emmys atlantis

okay so so you’re based on so you got

like an aquatic feel

it said uh uh uh not

not quite at not atlantis like the uh

the disney cartoon mm-hmm atlanta that’s

the next round

that’s where i grew up okay so

you’re skipping over you were in an

extremely huge disney cartoon very

recently you were

you played uh simba and the lion king

yeah but i just did that for the check

oh wow you hate

that you hate your role in the lion king

that’s huge this is exclusive

information i love this

i’m just surprised let’s be honest it’s

not very good no it

sucked it was awful but to hear you say

that makes me feel

so good on our podcast i love that so

much

dr london were you saying something yeah

it just might my only exposure to you

uh mr glover is uh

so i saw one clip from the show

community and it was

the one where you and another character

were

were singing about christmas or i guess

rapping about christmas

and so i’m just that’s and i i have to

assume that like at least

three quarters of our audience uh you

know the all the aspiring

they’re all we’re marketed towards

six-year-old children

but they’re all aspiring medical

students

so that’s sort of that’s the audience

that i’m expecting so i don’t know if

they’re going to be familiar with the

rest of your work so if we could focus

maybe on just at least for the moment

the

the thing that all of us will know about

which is you sing about

christmas and right you’re saying that

our audience of children

wouldn’t recognize donald from something

like say

the lion king but maybe the christmas

wrapping episode

not the episode yeah just the right when

i

said you stay up really late and you

sneak into the living room to watch tv

so your mom doesn’t know

i really meant you sneak in the living

room to watch youtube videos

that’s right yeah well just like a

little

just like when you were a kid just sneak

in the living room and you flip on the

youtube videos and it’s showing you a

30-second community clip from 11 years

ago

yeah well because normally it’s it’s all

you know suturing techniques

or uh you know looking at whatever

surgeries uh

and it’s that’s kind of fun and so this

one came up on my feed because i

i guess it’s related so what

i don’t understand what we’re talking

about so donald why are you here you’re

this gigantic star why

and you under such secrecy i mean your

publicist just told us that it was

someone very special we had we had no

idea it was you

well you know i didn’t i didn’t i didn’t

want the black to be too hot i just

wanted it to be like a

a little surprise just for just for us

you know i

i happen to come across your podcast

it was on spotify recommends it comes it

comes very

uh highly recommended and i listened to

it and i was like i gotta be on that

wow okay that this is i mean again

you are pretty famous for being sort of

like

a verse like sort of uh not into

the marketing interviews kind of aspect

of thing

and so for you to just pop onto this

podcast

means so much to be donald i’m sorry i’m

kind of

i’ve kept tearing up here are you what

you welcome baby you know sometimes i

just want to talk you know this isn’t

really a marketing job

like i’m not here to market anything i

just want to talk i just want to learn

medicine

you know what i’m assuming here like

yeah okay so

um yeah so i’m trying to think of a way

to tie

medicine into the the christmas wrap

uh oh right you’re you’re fixated on the

christmas wrap well i just it’s always

because it’s the only thing that you and

everyone

will know yeah you know i gotta i gotta

disclose

that i don’t remember the rap really

well because i mean i filmed that like

like i was just i was barely out of nyu

when i filmed that show but

but i mean we could do whatever you want

baby yeah okay yeah okay

i imagine it’s mostly just talking about

christmas i don’t think there’s anything

even

like i don’t even i’m not even sure

there’s an angle on it yeah

well i uh it’s been a while since i

watched as well so

what i remember of it was something

about this is what you want to talk

about with our

the only a-list celebrity we’ve ever had

on this show

that’s not true we had we did george jar

jar martin yeah

i was gonna say uh jason otier the

famous pop star

oh right we did have and he’s well he’s

more of an apocalypse plus

star no offense donald he was of course

the one who was cancelled

released the album apologize but so um

him i’m familiar with oddly but uh

okay so so donald have you um i guess

okay here’s what we can do since i and

presumably most of our listeners only

know

about the one youtube clip what if we

focus instead on your dreams and

aspirations

maybe i’m hoping they’re within medicine

hoping

it’s something that we can you know join

in with you

on i great maybe this is too

presumptuous for me but

i’m thinking uh maybe

you know you have you have atlantis

maybe we have something like

a medical tie-in like we

well you know i i’m an artist so i’m

like a doctor too because i heal

y’all heal people with medicine i heal

people with my art

and that’s very true i you know

i bring up a lot of times how on this

show how dr london’s sort of a quack

because he focuses so much on like the

technical aspects of things he’s like

oh does this chemical mix right with

this other chemical to make this person

feel better

but it’s like he doesn’t think about art

he doesn’t think about comedy

because comedy is also medicine and you

do

both of those things and you’re

shirtless that’s three things that you

do

yeah and i

i i thank you for for putting dr london

in his place like this

you know i don’t even mean it with any

disrespect and like it’s okay

you did bring up the shirtless thing i

just want to say i

i love being shirtless because i don’t

even have like a uh

a banging physique like i don’t look

like jason derulo or

or the rock or one of those i’m just i’m

just donald i like to eat pizza

and i mean i work out like two times a

week and to be honest when you are

wearing clothes it’s often

very like thin sheer

like kind of see-through clothes anyway

so you might as well be shirtless

i get it and i’m going to take my shirt

off

i think we should all take our shirts

off yeah well i’ve okay so i’m going to

do it

mr glover i thought that you you had

your shirt off when you came in because

you lost it

is that’s not the case oh oh no no no i

mean i got a closet with shirts you know

like

you know when i go pick up an award or

something because i win so many awards

but

but nah i just i just like to be

shirtless okay

i mean you’re kind of your v-neck is

very deep so

i mean you you’re kind of like halfway

there you might as well join me baby

and if you could just my head is stuck

taking my shirt off if you could just

if you could just handle this yeah you

mean like

tie it off so that it stays there yeah

just yeah just go ahead and tie it off

okay so now now i’m

i’m i’m feeling a lot better sort of

wearing a mask now

i mean donald i want to thank you for uh

hanging out with us now

so i mean this is a a medical

podcast like we were talking about

before so i do

have to ask a question are you sick

i mean i’m sick you know of what’s going

on in the world

and all that stuff but personally no i’m

doing fine i’m a celebrity baby i got

top-notch kid

wow and see this is why we don’t need

people like dr

london in our lives because if everyone

just had the attitude

of i’m gonna become an a-list superstar

then we would all be taken care of

this is why i don’t believe in universal

health care

because i just think that like if you if

you

just become extremely famous then you’ll

be taken care of

it’s motivation and you’re a big yang

guy so you you understand that yes but

see the

because like not everybody could do what

i do i

i don’t want to be too mean about it but

not everybody can do what i do

just because i’m so talented like that

because i’m sucking up so much talent

that means there’s not going to be

enough talent to distribute to the rest

of the world

so i gotta like you know you know i’m

taken care of but

but i like yang because he’s like here’s

a thousand dollars

make sure you’re good exactly if you

can’t get as much money as i can

you know you’re making sure everybody’s

taken care of that’s why

yang gang baby okay so i i have i have

one question that you know this is kind

of

not not exactly related to your career

but the fact that you’re a celebrity

um we’ve had this new sponsor

and i’m wondering so so we’ll go walking

down the street

with uh you know crampy

cola koala i’m sure you’ve you’ve heard

um

and it’s just the press the paparazzi

has been

all over us and like even before the

sponsorship

just me you know just because this this

podcast is obviously so huge

uh you know our patreon is exploding

it’s more than we can

handle really so what we’ve been

struggling with is

the celebrity of it because um i i guess

one question is

do you do you have one of those masks

that people put on to like

go to a bar that you know that makes you

look normal like like

not a celebrity

oh oh i see what you’re saying like i

mean

honestly honestly like i’m i’m not very

tall like

i i don’t look like i’m like i’m not

like nba tall i’m just like regular

height

and if i put a shirt on and i put some

sunglasses on people

people just think i’m another black guy

so i’m i mean i’m usually cool like i

don’t got to get too crazy with the

disguise just like

i i i wish i was a little bit taller

which was a baller

right maybe i’d have to put on like a a

really

elaborate disguise like i i really like

scooby-doo

maybe i would like put on a scooby-doo

costume no one would notice like a six

foot two dog

but but i you know or or maybe just wear

a paper bag like a jets fan

i don’t know just really blend with the

crowd like that you know

yeah but i i do want to say you you do

you sort of list i just looked up your

height you list your

height at five nine but i i don’t wanna

blow up your spot here and we can edit

this out but you’re clearly more like

five

two your

next q next question i i don’t wanna i

don’t wanna discuss this i don’t know

i am so sorry dj dylan just go ahead and

just go and

cut all that out yeah nope oh yeah you

better cut that out don’t

have my agent reach out you know it says

here that you’re five nine

i gotta say you look more like five

eleven to me

oh yeah you you know i just wanted to be

humble because like i’m already so rich

and famous yeah once

many awards like it would suck to be

five eleven two people get very jealous

so i like i like i knocked it off two

inches and i was like okay why not

so so one i get i’m sorry to go back to

this but

uh because i know whatever i said that i

asked if you put on disguises when you

go out and you said

sunglasses is fine um but you also

really seem to emphasize the height

aspect as if that would disguise so i

just

you know there are certain celebrities

that are known for being shorter like

say tom cruise

very recognizable celebrity but

um you know he’s he’s short not not tall

or he’s

i guess shorter than average so uh

for him do you think if he just put on

sunglasses

like is that is that the entire trick to

just

if you’re short enough yes and no

because

tom cruise has like the energy

of like an older person like your

grandparents but he looks like he’s 25

so like it’s just his whole aura is

confusing so you just know it’s him

like i’ve seen him on a lot before and

i’m just like

tom like we all know it’s you and um

i’m not joining scientology stop asking

me okay

so he so he he does disguise himself

but it doesn’t do any good no he cuz

he’s always dressed up he’s always

dressed up and he’ll put like some

aviators on and i’m just like

bro we know it’s you okay can’t wait for

the next mission impossible movie but

and also stop the scientology stuff but

you know whatever and you’re sure it’s

him

i just you you’re positive that that’s

tom cruise that you’re talking to

whenever

these moments happen you just it’s like

is it just is it possible

another just it’s just another like 5-2

man running around yelling at people

about scientology there are a lot of

those in los

angeles yes yes but the problem is

tom like he has grandpa energy but his

face looks like he was born in 1995

yeah that’s that’s what throws it off

like if you get any whiff of the face

and like

why is your skin not wrinkly you’re like

oh that’s concrete why do you look like

you’re wearing the face of another man

essentially yeah yeah well just like the

movie

exactly little mask well i mean

i mean dr lund does that does that does

that get to the heart of your question

i i guess so so for us

whenever i’m walking down the street

okay that’s what this is all about okay

so dr

london is trying to figure out how to

hide in the crowd so he’s not hounded by

the paparazzi

she’s constant yeah so i mean

and you’ve told me don’t wear the the

jock doc podcast brand mask

on my face you told me don’t do that

with a logo

uh which i mean i i can’t not do that

so so that’s gonna happen dr london well

you could double mask

because you wear your jack doc podcast

mask and then you wear like a

like a reusable mask too but and then

boom well but i have to

oh you’re trying you’re trying to

advertise yeah yeah i have to advertise

so

it’s i mean granted yes our masks are

the the best

quality there is yeah uh it’s you know

it it’s they don’t they don’t put it on

the cdc website as much because

you know the n95 masks are sort of the

standard

but um the only reason they don’t you

know put ours on the website is because

the limited supply

well the n95s don’t have a speaker in

them that if someone is within six feet

of you it starts saying get back

get back and ours ours does

oh wow yeah it’s it’s pretty

sophisticated

okay you sound interested you know we

have them for sale i would love that

i’d even i told you i wasn’t gonna brand

i’d love to collab like i could i could

sing it for you like

stay six feet back

yes stay six feet back so we i can do i

can do an aggressive rap too hold on

hold on

i can do a girl take six feet back stay

fit give me back stay six feet back

i mean i’m trying to get better i got i

got different styles baby well

now i’m feeling so stupid because we we

already ordered 600 000 of these

for you know they already have the chip

in them with

uh it’s not the bill gates chip it’s a

different one

just a yell it’s just me saying get back

yeah and stop it

leave me alone is there a way to rework

these yeah leave me alone was

a lot of it’s the frustrating thing is

that

you did the programming so i don’t know

how many of these

you know turned out uh saying which

phrase

i feel like you just had impossible to

know yeah yeah so

some of them are just grocery lists real

quick dr linda i gotta call you out you

you say that you wanna like hide in the

crowd a little more but you

invite this attention a lot i mean even

right now you’re dating the socialite

krampus kardashian

that’s right is that i mean oh wow it’s

just

you know like you know that that the

krampus kardashian is going to invite

a lot of cameras taking pics of y’all

yeah but

so that’s my personal life and um

you know whenever i have feelings for

someone then are we gonna are we gonna

say that’s a

just a publicity stunt or

maybe do i actually have feelings for

someone that to me that that’s pretty

unfair criticism

i didn’t i don’t choose what my heart

wants right my heart wants this

this person who’s you know heavily

associated with reality tv and very

famous and

yeah krampus kardashian yeah krampus

kardashian so it’s

i didn’t know you was dating krampus yes

that’s news to me y’all keep it on down

low no it’s it’s been

it’s been great it’s been great um there

have been

some some family troubles uh yeah it

does seem like publicity though dr

london like it

no i just in the past when you genuinely

liked a girl you

you can’t talk to her because you’re

constantly like sort of

vomiting that’s right and you start

crying if she starts talking to you she

you start

crying okay well first off so

the constant vomiting when you like

someone that’s normal

everyone has that donald do you

experience that when you have a crush on

someone

when you’re hanging out with janae aiko

and she is turning you down

is that is that why what

cameron why y’all bring that up like i’m

really sorry dj dylan cut that out i

don’t know what’s wrong with me i’m just

i’m just i don’t know

that you’ve been you’ve been you’ve been

uh you’ve been a livestream

i just i’m a big fan so it’s just you

know i i

i sometimes i i’m curious about behind

the scenes you know

but you’ve had some heart you’ve had

heartbreak in your life but you’ve also

had a lot of love

does that i mean do you experience sort

of what dr london experiences like a lot

of nervousness and

excessive vomiting when you’re into

someone

you you know you know you if you if you

listen to

my my uh my album you know behind the

internet

that song 3005 that’s about getting

butterflies

no matter what you say what you do and i

don’t want to miss

you yeah that was just me that was just

wow

honestly you know it was me asking a

girl out yeah and you know

all the words to your songs which is so

cool i love when artists

don’t clearly yeah just know all the

words to their songs

i mean so dr london maybe you are a

little more normal than i’m uh giving

you credit for but it just seems like

publicity just because you’re

not throwing up as much as you usually

do you’re still throwing up let me know

like

way too much i really think as a doctor

you should

be more interested in whatever’s going

on there it’s just nerves we all

look we all get this and our listeners

will you know they’ll i’m sure they’ll

back me up

over twitter and everything you know let

me know like

it’s you know let’s let’s get the

hashtag going if it’s just

nerds then stop eating so many of those

boxes of nerds before you go to bed

uh no it’s a nerd before bed a nerd

before a wake

and that’s how uh maybe they’re talking

about a nerd

like the little pebble not an entire

we’re talking about the movie theater

boxes here

oh wait wait wait wait wait you you are

you even nerds like humans or

you talking about the candy because i i

need you to clarify because if you’re a

cannibal

i gotta hop off this thing cola contains

new cools okay crampy or

what’s our culture it’s crampy that’s so

interesting that our creamy koala

is has a similar name to your girlfriend

krampus kardashian

yeah yeah it’s i mean i it’s not that

it’s just you know yeah it’s not really

that interesting latin and greek root

words maybe but i don’t know

um where are we are you a cannibal is

this like

this is like an army army hammer thing

is that his name

well and you know i hate to i hate to

pivot from this but for just a second we

do have to address

because of the mention of ingredients

what’s in something um so

so koala cola contains no koalas

they’re absolutely not yeah we do have

to mention this because like you said

the just the the mention of what an

ingredient is

we are obligated to mention koala cola

has only pure ingredients nothing you

know

weird about it i wouldn’t look too

closely at the ingredients

but just because it’s so many words it’s

like i don’t even know what half the

stuff means

but there’s no koala in it there can’t

be

yeah um i’m sorry so anyway to answer

the question uh

i don’t i don’t think i’ve eaten

humans i don’t think i’ve practiced

cannibalism okay

and you are when you’re talking about

eating a box of nerds you are talking

about the the candy

i oh

i didn’t expect you’re not supposed to

to stutter on that yeah it should be a

straight yeah

i didn’t expect sort of like uh oh

um should we just move on

you know i don’t want to blow up your

spot dr london and get you in trouble

yeah it’s just some i i don’t i don’t

know where it comes from but yeah

um so yeah we can uh i i don’t think

it’s that important

is i guess what i’m getting at here so

what what you’re bringing up was you

have this before bed

and is this making me vomit more uh

and i would say no that’s just

romance

i it’s just i don’t know and you’re

sweating so much lately i don’t know i

don’t like any of this

i don’t i don’t want to i don’t want to

dig into this any further i don’t think

yeah good because i i mean like i said

we’re just yes

is this a krampus thing has she

introduced you into

this weird food that you’ve been eating

that

you’ve been trying i heard they

illuminati so

they might be into some weird stuff dr

london you

ah what oh speak for yourself i have a

question about that donald have you

been invited into the illuminati you’re

a pretty big celebrity i’d imagine

they’ve at least

i’ve turned i’ll turn them down

everything so you have been invited

how do they invite you is it just you

get a phone call or postcard

yeah how do they reach out y’all seen

that movie uh the social network

yeah from a distance they they just they

just slide it in under your door

like with a little insignia and that’s

it and again i live in like a gated

community because i’m rich as hell

yeah they they still find a way in and

they just

you can pinch for the illuminati and i’m

like my black ass will not be

joining thank you very much but wait

wait wait so they give you a copy of the

social network

and is this information in the movie

like you’ve

suddenly got um jesse eisenberg like

being like hey you’re invited to the

illuminati

well jesse eisenberg is in the

illuminati just to confirm but

but no no no like you know when they

were doing i i didn’t provide

proper uh contacts you know when they’re

doing like uh

like the the what’s it the social clubs

like the phoenix like they they pinch

you they slide the

envelope with the invitational

i was under the impression yeah okay i

get it now so actually

yeah so and it’s facebook now not the

facebook

that’s been uh is it the fake is it is

it not the facebook anymore

yeah no i think they recently made a

change i just call it the hell hole

personally yeah yeah the hell hoe it’s

not simpler because crap you’re not a

social media guy donald you don’t you

don’t post very much and when you do

usually delete it after a while

and uh i don’t i don’t need people

hating on me

oh so it’s the haters that keeps you

away the haters make

me brave i love my haters

y’all y’all haven’t met the right haters

yet you

when when you when you when you get to

my level and don’t worry you y’all y’all

are like on your little mission

y’all are getting in my level not quite

there yet but you’re on your way once

you get to my level you’re gonna want to

disengage from all that stuff

from all the hate so okay well so that’s

another question so whenever the haters

uh come up and they you know approach

you

uh first i guess my first question is

how would you recognize a hater

um yeah what are haters throwing at you

that’s uh

because maybe we have encountered a

hater and we aren’t aware the real bad

haters cause like if someone’s just like

jack doc podcast sucks that ain’t gonna

hurt your feelings you don’t care baby

do they mean it like were they comparing

it to vacuums and they’re saying like

uh if it was a vacuum then it’d actually

be really good

but it’s what it’s supposed to do don’t

don’t take them seriously they probably

like great

grey’s anatomy fans or something i’m

fans don’t like us why don’t grey’s

anatomy fans like

us that’s the main demographic we’re

trying to appeal to yeah

six-year-olds crazy six-year-old sandra

oh fans

well well it’s kind of well i mean

six-year-olds have abc right so like

it’s not um yeah airway breathing

circulation that’s right

that’s true okay so okay i’m good now

so so all that to say okay someone

someone comes up to you

and they say donald i’m going to be

honest

but i’m not crazy about your music what

do you how do you react

that’s the way that’s not the way haters

operate that’s what i’m trying to push

okay

okay that’s good the haters the haters

want to join your posse and they’re like

donald

i love all your stuff i love atlanta i

i love the childish gambino album where

you

do like parliament funkadelic and all

that stuff but you can’t really sing

that well yeah they tell me that to my

face

and then you find out these people are

scheming behind your back trying to

limit your opportunities saying that you

suck and you ain’t got it no more

that’s what the real hayden is like

people

trying to scheme behind your back

but in into your face they’re acting

like your friend

it’s it’s the betrayal the the set of

females oh

wow that’s what you got to be careful

for double-sided

people telling you you outright suck i

mean that’s just that’s just a numbers

thing like that’s gonna happen that’s

fine

well i don’t know that that’ll happen

that’s that’s good

i hope to god that doesn’t happen but

well i i hope y’all toughen up a little

bit

yes because you’re telling me that maybe

i need to be more worried about the

people who are close

to me in my life all the kind of people

random strangers

because i’ve been wondering about this

my mom has been telling me lately that

i’ve been doing a great job

and i just don’t think that that’s

genuine

like i i think she’s faking it so she is

my mom a hater is she a hater

yeah she your mama

i oh that’s a tough one i think i think

you’re gonna have to get one of those uh

fbi lie detector test and yeah and plug

your mom’s up to it

are your friends just to know for sure a

polygraph or is this a new kind

of type of polygraph i just like calling

it a fbi lie detector test like

polygraph sounds so professional babe

oh no i mean it is a life what do you

have me saying about a polygraph it is a

lie detector test dr london were you

wondering if it was like a truth serum

or some sort of like medical thing

yeah i just i i’m aware that giving my

mom like a lobotomy

and yeah a chunk of her brother oh it’s

the government they it’s the government

don’t have no

new technological updates come on dr

london ain’t you a doc don’t you know

that

he really doesn’t know a whole lot

no they still use that old 1960 machine

where they hook it up to your arm like

meet the parents

yeah come on man ain’t got no new tech

okay so it’s

all right i think i think i’ve got a

grip on what

what the haters are about um i feel like

we got a grip on how to approach

celebrity stardom now

i just i can’t help but feel like we’re

approaching the time to to get some

chores done

and oh god it’s so awkward because we

have a celebrity on

and do you let me uh donald i’m i’m

really sorry about this but uh

for for for you and for people who

haven’t listened to the epis or listened

to our show before

um dr london and i have been neglecting

all of our chores all of our tasks all

of

the things we have to do around the

house and around the studio and around

the

space needle and these different things

um you know like

we we’ve neglected the dishes no one’s

mopped the floor

in years um the dog hasn’t been waxed in

forever

and so we we’ve sort of made this big

old

chore wheel it’s a wheel it’s got a

bunch of different chores on it we give

that thing a spin every week and

whatever it lands on

we have to do it even if we hate the

tour because we don’t want to do it i

hate it i don’t want to do that

i really don’t want to wax the dog i i

i’m i’m a little confused because i’m

like don’t y’all just pay people to do

this for you

oh

i do want to like so i was paying

someone to clean things but then i

sort of found out she was a hater mm-hmm

and so i would tell them she kept saying

such nice things about him

and so we knew that that was a problem

yeah we knew that she must be a hater

and so

that’s a telltale sign yeah we had to

get rid of her but so

that’s why we’ve got this chore wheel

system um so

i mean donald can you stick around and

help us out with us

i don’t want to please but but

but i like your podcast

i could i could lower myself just just

this one time

can you would you be willing to give the

old shore wheel

a big old spin you can you can catch

it i could do that for you yeah it’s

fine yeah you can do it shirtless you

can do it however you it works

if you do it shirtless i’ve tested it in

private okay

all right all right you mean like sure

let’s like rub my nipple on it

or just spin it you know what do what

you feel

yeah be be your honest self i’m not

about to limit

[Music]

and every one of his dance moves was

some sort of like allegorical

like reference to something wow donald

you are a genius

baby yeah you’re just constantly on

another level

uh oh no it landed oh boy i don’t want

to do this

okay uh do you want to read it because

i’m

no i i can i can read it if you want

yeah yeah okay you need to

so and this is uh you know

very very i i don’t know if it’s

providence whatever that that happened

to come up today but it is

telling us what is your um

new improved disguise for going in

public

oh okay so our chore for this week is

we’ve got to come up with

new outfits and new disguises to wear on

public to

to avoid the freaks of the losers and

the pop

and the uh the haters yes and

that’s not a little presidential maybe

like pickpocketers

that’s been a thing lately i feel like

everything i put in my pocket has been

been stolen yeah well because

you did because you cut out the bottoms

of your pockets

yeah to because they’re like my minus

has gotten so large

okay but i needed the extra like yeah i

guess

that goes with what you told me which

was that you just need to be able to run

faster and if air can travel through the

pockets

yes you were saying that that would you

know that means yeah it’s wind it lowers

wind resistance

yeah so i don’t know

that’s anyway yeah we we gotta we gotta

figure this out like

this is this is great that this short

finally came up and i

i’m tired of being hounded by people too

so this is

this is great and the hounds yeah okay

so

do we want to yeah come up with some

outfit do you want me to start

yeah yeah if you could start yeah i mean

this is this is actually kind of freeing

because i always feel like oh i always

have to wear sort of like just a t-shirt

and jeans

or just a button-up shirt just because

there’s you know there’s not a ton of

flexibility in just average guys fashion

um so i would really like to

start wearing a pumpkin on my head like

the charlie brown

yeah like the great pumpkin because i

see that cartoon and

one it’s badass two

you it has to smell pretty good if

you’re switching out that pumpkin every

day i’m not saying sticking with the

same pumpkin

okay but if you’ve got a fresh pumpkin

daily

that you’re carving out and we like the

smell of yeah

yeah i mean there’s like a like a fall

pumpkin you can add sort of like

cinnamony spices into it if you want

sort of to okay you know there’s ways to

make it smell nice

add spices into an enclosed space around

your head

yeah yeah there’s eye holes still well i

just it’s a jack-o-lantern

with my face i might sneeze or something

but okay

um so that

let’s start with that and then i’m gonna

go ahead and say

i’m definitely gonna be wearing skates

just so if the outfit doesn’t work out i

can

zoom out of there yeah yeah um so i’m

gonna get motorized skates so i can

i have an app and so you can just press

the button on the app and you just go

zoo it’s not a hoverboard

no it because that’s well that’s brand

thing was it

was it it’s a cameron board yeah a

camera board it’s

self-invented well

yeah it’s it’s a board but it doesn’t

really it has one wheel

and you’re just kind of precariously and

it’s not a unique sorry

i’m still here yes i’m sorry i

i tuned out i tuned out for a little bit

cause

y’all y’all y’all’s little chore will

inspire me to make a new song whoa

what’s it about it’s about the chill

yes okay i mean can we hear this

this is amazing i could give you i could

give you a little snippet i’ll do it a

cappella for you yeah

yeah i’ve heard of the cop i didn’t get

the samples cleared yet

oh there’s already samples chosen for

this that’s awesome what is it sampling

i can’t tell you that yet baby but it

might be a kanye song

whoa and i’m very i’m very worried that

he’s gonna

that was a presidential candidate at a

high price because he yeah

former former presidential candidate

kanye west yes okay yeah i was wondering

where i heard the name

yeah the politician that’s right oh

that’s right yeah the six-year-olds may

not be familiar with his

uh his music catalog that’s right okay

okay i’m gonna sing it for you real

quick

disguises disguises

gotta go outside disguises gotta run

outside disguises

disguises disguises

that that’s that’s all i got but i think

that’s a that’s a billboard

number one i mean if morgan walden could

be on the charts for so long so

i mean i mean that’s easily number one

yeah i’d have to be

okay so you know on that so then let’s

just

let me just for my outfit pumpkin head

very large cape uh

motorized skates this song

jamming on sort of a boom box strapped

to my back

yeah that’s that’s good you’re doing a

music video right there

this is this is staying away from the

paparazzi but still peacocking you know

what i mean

finding that balance and it’s great

because

you know you already had you’ve had a

boombox strapped to your back so far but

it’s just been playing

you know the uh cleanup song from barney

on repeat just

clean up clean it up everybody and

you’ve

yeah it does blair it does clean up by

barney

seven times then it goes so sick by neo

from like

2006. it does that twice

and then it goes back to cleanup cleanup

by bar

yeah so so it’ll be great to change that

up to just the one song

uh yeah just playing so loud okay i mean

that’s my that’s that’s it that’s my

outfit okay

um all right mr glover do you have i

know you

you know the sunglasses are your big

thing uh but for a new outfit

if you had to add something or change

something

let me let me think about that because i

mean

so you you you got a pumpkin i’m doing a

pumpkin

i would say you could do a pumpkin too

if you wanted oh yeah

you could totally do a pumpkin or any

fruit that you want now you know you

know what i would do

if if i’m trying to blend in with with

the you know

uh anglo american crowd i might do an

avocado okay grab myself in a nice

little avocado

shell wow yeah the the shells that are

famously head

sized well i mean donald is again

we said he was five too it’s really like

he’s four to i don’t i don’t want to say

anything his head is so tiny

but we can’t see okay hey i hear y’all

no hey oh no no adida dylan

we were just talking about something i

am so sorry man um

the avocado i think is a good idea you

know what was what i was going to

suggest though is like

you you’re famous for being sort of like

multi-talented right you’re a writer

you’re a comedian you’re a rapper you’re

a producer

but one thing that you are not is a

famous athlete

so if you were trying to hide from

people what if you you know you walked

into the club

you’re wearing full pinstripe baseball

outfits yes with a baseball hat

and a baseball bat and you’re walking

around and it’s got you know donuts on

it it’s got weights on it so you’re just

kind of like

you’re just kind of like prepping to go

up to the

to the plate yeah and you’re just you

just do that in the vip section of the

club people are going to be like oh

that can’t be it looks like donald

glover but donald clifford doesn’t play

for the mets

i yeah

i’m just like a i’m just like a pitcher

baby i’m like one of them relievers

ooh even better yeah like if you’re a

pitcher so you’ve got the glove and the

ball and you’re just like throwing it

into the glove over and over again

you’re just standing there

chewing back i’m like i’m like one of

them six-year-olds that listen to your

podcast just like playing around with

the ball

yeah constantly spitting they’re gonna

love this part this is actually

i i don’t know if you know what’s gonna

be you know in our sneak peek preview

snippets but uh i hope that it’s that

part cause that those kids are gonna go

nuts for it yeah i mean we do try to

take a second

in every episode and just talk about

shapes because kids who listen to the

show

go [ __ ] crazy like we

uh i mean i’ll just say yeah the bigger

think of the biggest rectangle you can

think of

like that alone is going to make the

kids go insane

thank you yes thank you yeah that’s

great all right

all right so i still want to stick with

the avocado though so we’re gonna do an

avocado head baseball player

is what i essentially i think this is

going to come down to i

i i feel like that blends in perfectly

[Music]

i mean i can just imagine being in the

club and seeing

a forefoot sorry a 5 foot 11

man running around with a baseball bat

glove and ball and thinking that that

cannot be donald glover

like that would be my first thought

yeah that’s that’s for sure okay

you know disguises inconspicuous

avocado pumpkin

picture for baseball team

disguises yes disguises

i know that’s a little off pitch but

that’s my brand baby i don’t sing on

[ __ ]

yeah that’s your thing okay

that’s great i’m really feeling this all

right yeah dr london what do you got

yeah but for mine you know i’ve i’ve

thought long and hard about this i think

and i’m gonna go with uh

naked except for a shower curtain oh

yeah because

it’s one of those things where you want

to show up and you’re a shower curtain

not like a bathtub this is like you

fell out of the shower yes yes okay it

took the curtain down with you okay

yeah and so i’m just i’m you know and i

the tough part about it will be that i

of course have to have a conditioner in

my hair

um just whenever i go out but if i do

that i’m

holding it you know with one hand

holding it closed

then people the last thing people are

going to think about is is that a

celebrity they’re going to think

right well yeah like should i show them

out of the show i should give this man

slippers so we can stop slipping around

because of course the whole time because

you’re you’re soaking wet

yeah you’re kind of just going whoa and

sort of

yeah yeah yeah

and then krampus kardashian’s right

there and she’s like who is that

yeah and yeah all the paparazzi focused

on her yeah it’s perfect

okay do you want a fruit or vegetable as

a head

um i’d i’d like to antelope

those are pretty big i’ll have one of

one hand holding it closed so i’m just

trying to think

i’d like to have something that maybe i

can

you know as i’m saying woo that i can

exaggerate it further by

kind of bouncing a fruit in my hand so

i could do cantaloupe might be good

that’s yeah that’s a whoo

and then i can let that kind of lead the

way

so nothing on your head no fruit on your

head

i what about a carmen miranda fruit hat

okay yes a fruit hat sounds great it

might interfere with the

the conditioner aspect conditioner

aspect yeah

yeah but i kind of like it like maybe i

threw it on hurriedly

while i was falling out of the the

bathtub

the shower and i just threw on whatever

i had

oh okay yeah make it look like the there

was a bunch maybe a shelf of fruit above

the shower

that fell on you simple

wow great guys i think we did it can we

check off this chore like i

think this is done we’ve got three

kick-ass looks right now

that yeah when i feel like if that’s

three disguises baby i feel like if we

when we go to chili’s later i’m the

we’re going to

like have you been to that club before

chili’s

donald oh

you know i was telling you like that’s i

love to be posted up in the chili’s with

my sunglasses on

just slathering some baby back ribs

in a margarita and we’re gonna we’re

gonna go into chili’s and no one’s gonna

bother us

and finally we’re gonna be able to have

that skillet queso

without any fans asking for a bite yes

finally oh man y’all

do y’all like the microwave buffalo

wings

oh just the way they fresh out the

microwave only the microwave

yeah yeah just the way that like

the skin is loose on it for some reason

like it just doesn’t

fit the actual chicken like it’s

supposed to oh

that’s what i’m talking about

all right well so i think i think we’re

good we can go ahead and um

well speak of head a b head the chore

wheel we have to

destroy the troll wheel every week

because their new chores added taken off

everything so

um if you can go ahead and uh

mr glover if you wouldn’t mind putting

it into the the guillotine we have here

and just because i got a guillotine yeah

we’re just going to try

to just for the tour we have to destroy

it every single week and so yeah if we

can just i’ll help you with it if we can

just stuff this in the guillotine

dr london do you want to breathe no no

hold on i want to be i want to be very

careful because there’s a lot of shop

objects and again i i’m going to pop

into you i can’t get injured so hold on

let me let me slip it in there

we’re just going to oh this thing sharp

whoa oh yeah you don’t don’t touch it

i mean we’re just you know you’re just

supposed to like

you’re supposed to like shove it and

then you just shove it into the

guillotine

yeah it’s like it’s like that that

didn’t it cartoon

off with a head yeah anyway okay those

two

the yeah the kingdom hearts level that’s

all i know it as

yeah yeah kingdom hearts that’s the um

so we’re gonna we’re gonna kill the

chore wheel dr lin do you want to read

it some rights or do you want to tell

what he’s accused of

okay so um sure will you do stand

accused of being

uh of having one of your chores

completed for this week which

unfortunately is

uh death yeah the highest crime

uh sentence of death uh to be carried

out by the nearest celebrity in this

case mr glover

um and yeah so now we have um

just if you could t take the axe swing

that at the rope that’s holding the

guillotine

blade in place i’m sorry to it sounds

complicated but this is just the legal

way to deal with this

oh okay i mean i i think the chore will

i mean i don’t i don’t want to promote

myself i said i’m not here to promote

anything but like what if the child will

want to hear donald glover song

yes before it before death that sounds

appropriate

do you have do you have another song for

us i i

i’ll do a course just for the

choreography okay

yeah the last thing it hears okay you

ready yeah you ready

let’s hear it the choreo is kind of tied

up he can’t even like really not his

head right all right

don’t be mad cause i’m doing me better

than i’m doing you don’t be mad cause

i’m doing me better not knowing you

don’t be mad cause i’m doing me better

than i’m doing you better i’m doing you

better than i’m doing you oh awkward

ahead

damn oh wow what a great

end to the life of a gee or of a chore

wheel

yeah is to tell them dude i’m doing

better than you are

hey you’re about to die

well thank you so much mr glover for

coming on the show um

i feel like that’s that’s kind of you

know the way the way to end this year

it’s

so so fantastic to hear your music for

the first time

aside from that one youtube clip uh so

great to

have you here a fellow celebrity finally

y’all welcome baby i was i was happy i

could i could perform some charity

and come on your little podcast help you

all out i’ll give y’all a little boost

thank you i gotta say one thing yeah

y’all better lose my height at 5 11.

you’re going to get a cease and desist

that’s right we do list the heights of

all of our guests in the podcast

description and we we

are going to put your actual height

which is 511.

so we’re just going to ahead and put

that on there yep that’s done

okay that’d be in your best interest

okay

you can put your fist down you’re

holding your fist like you’re you were

about to hit us

if we didn’t put your height down you

don’t you can see it

i ain’t gonna hit you the lawyers are

it’s okay

okay okay okay so scary okay okay um so

also just imagine somebody in a suit

with a fist right now not me because i’m

shirtless

that’s true but before we my head is

still stuck in my shirt

to the legal aspects yeah your your mask

effectively

like a ninja mask so um before we move

on and you know finish up

uh is there any way i know you know our

listeners are obviously aware of

uh by now of your you know your show on

community

atlantis uh all of those is there any um

uh anyway for listeners are there any

podcasts that you’re a fan of or any

shows that you wanna you know

share and promote here or social media

accounts you want to promote

oh sure baby so i’m gonna

i’m gonna give you and don’t don’t make

the block too hot but

i gotta manage it okay

his name is evan word and you could

follow him

on the instagrams at

t-o-k-e-n-b-i-p-a

token by pac okay great

that’s my manager he he he ain’t popping

he ain’t

nearly as popping as me i mean that’s

why he might manage ain’t me

yeah you could give him a little boost

so he was the one who set up this

interview

huh yeah cause he’s not popping i’d have

him do menial tasks for me duh

gotcha okay that does check out a lot

more

okay well it’s great so go ahead and

follow that account on instagram um is

there anything else or is that

uh i mean obviously you want to promote

your your shows and your

i will i will say something else since

i’m not up for any awards this year

because i to

i took the gear off you know 2020 duh

right what’s gonna take it off

um daniel kaluya

better win the oscar or is he gonna be

hearing from me

oscars okay but isn’t that taking you

said that like when people become

extremely talented they’re like

taking talent away from you that doesn’t

like make you

like a little kind of jealous

no no no me and danny kaluuya we we

colluding

on that damn talent so we all go back

okay

if he wins you win i didn’t yeah i

didn’t know if you were maybe mad

because you weren’t nominated for your

role in the martian

your five or so lines in the martian you

know

that’s 2015. i got over that yeah that’s

where i

saw did you have y’all seen how many

emmys i want i’ve only seen the clip

from the martian

no i mean yeah for sure i think you even

maybe won an emmy for riding on 30 rock

like a long time ago but also

atlanta yeah i did you know that mm-hmm

okay no and maybe i was

being on girls i don’t know i was wrong

i did

they should have given me a damn like

goddamn

something like a medal of honor just

freaking for having to put

up with nobel peace prize for being on

girls didn’t

you did you see my storyline when they

was like you’re just a black republican

i’m just like what the hell is this

but but i was in his popping yes i

didn’t know i had to take the rope

yeah that was back when you know no one

no one knew who you were except for a

famous tv star and rapper i

you know i i’m sorry i just wanted to

add in real quick

i was wrong i have seen two clips of you

one was

from community the rapping about

christmas and then also i saw the clip

of you from the martian so uh those are

the two

things i’ve seen you in anyway um uh

thank you to a crampy koala

it tastes just like down under um thank

you to

you know and also our sponsor um koala

cola

uh thank you to our producer cameron and

watch a mystery team from donald’s old

comedy group uh derek comedy yeah but

there’s some sketches on there just to

just to be clear that a little you know

troublesome now and just ignore those

dude just pretend those doesn’t happen

good luck with your little podcast thank

you to of course

uh mr glover uh thank you too DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

disguises

[Music]

one disguises inconspicuous

my name is dr. londonsmith.com and this

has been the jock doc podcast see ya