Hi kids you’re about to listen to a comedy podcast that means that none of this is medical advice if you need medical advice or

medical care please contact your doctor brought to you by koala cora it tastes just like down under i’m

crampy koala take it away DJ Dylan welcome to the jock doc

podcast featuring dr london smith producer cameron crampy koala

a special guest and me dj dillon and live from new york it’s saturday

night [Music]

[Music] hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and health and how to incorporate our modern understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it being so boring i’m your host dr londonsmith.com

i’d like to begin by apologizing to our listeners we’ve received some feedback about the excessive amount of technical

medical terms that i’ve been using such as subcortical purulence and sponsored content so i’ll try to temper

my terminology to a simpler one in the future here to help with that is our producer cameron

how are you doing dr london today well i mean just

just this week i’ve you’ve been i mean ever since you got vaccinated you’ve been uh sort of partying a lot yeah

i mean it’s one of those things it’s only with other vaccinated people but um i guess there are some types of

uh there’s certain crowds that i didn’t use to hang out with because i was so you know living in fear

but now that i’m vaccinated yeah i feel kind of like i can do anything

well and that’s yeah that’s awesome but you and i i want to say crampy

you guys went parasailing with famed anti-koala activists coming steve

yeah i um that’s true i like i don’t i don’t know

what you’re getting at so he had he had the hookups for the parasailing thing like he had a really good deal going and we were okay we were barely hanging

out all the time anyway and so he said like just just come with me i’ve already got the thing

set up and i was like well yeah i guess it’s stupid to say no it’s parasailing because i do want i

want to remind our listeners we are now on the uh koala cola

podcast network the number one soda in all of australia koala cola it tastes just like down

underneath it tastes just like down under and koala cola makes a an amazing product that has no koalas and no koala

parts or juices in it yeah and i i think that that is a point we’ve been over this a lot lately we’ve

talked about this so much important that i think is worth repeating that there actually there are no koala parts in it at all

and that’s that’s really interesting to know and to just reiterate and that’s great but it

just when you’re hanging out with scummy steve who his entire thing is being anti-koala

and how we should be eating more koalas that looks bad that really reflects

poorly on koala cola yeah so i guess andy didn’t invite me at all

so he the way he phrased it was that he’s pro koala eating so like

whenever you say anti koala that terminology is a bit confusing given that you know oh right yeah it’s just

it’s just based on how it’s framed in the media you know yeah yeah they’re they’re trying to change it one’s anti-one thing is

someone else’s pro other thing uh but yeah it was i’ll admit that it was a little bit uncomfortable for

crampy just like he kept it seemed like every seat

even on the boat that crampie found was a grill or something designed to trap

him or you know heat him up to cook him but like that’s that’s steve

you know yeah and that’s just like normal i mean parasailing that’s how i just as far as i know that

wasn’t my first time so i’m yeah genuinely well okay yeah i’ve

i i apologize for judging so harshly dr london it sounds like everything was above board i didn’t mean to

you know get on to you harshly and we can of course cut this out of the podcast if you don’t want to be you know if you want to keep this private

yeah but uh you know i i i just want to keep you in check you see things in the papers you see

things on the gossip blogs and it makes you wonder yeah and

it’s just one of those things where you know once again uh i’m also trying to get the word out about koala cola we’ve been really pushed on

this to go on uh not exactly a press tour but essentially a press tour yeah it’s well

it’s like a press walkabout right yeah that is the term they use yeah uh i’m just not yeah you’re

you’re walking like at like 60 70 miles or something like that it’s like a really long distance over the course of

days but you’ve got press with you the whole time yeah it’s um it’s a lot and all we are allowed to to

drink is koala cola and i by the way i love it it tastes just like donuts yeah

so it’s i i’m loving it and i i’m having the time of my life uh

anyways so that was our producer cameron also with us is did you join the hose

who his entire thing is being anti-koala and how we should be eating more koalas

that looks bad that really reflects poorly on koala cola

[Music]

later cameron tells me we can expect a special guest that’s right dr london i’m guessing we

do okay is that is that why you use the

term guest as you’re guessing yeah i mean that’s there’s definitely a mystery to it

okay before i mean because sometimes you’ve never wondered you seem to know sometimes why the guest

every single week has a bag over their head with a big question mark i well yeah because i i worry about

their hair getting messed up well okay but it just we’re supposed to

we’re supposed to like guess who it is and then we just see if we’re right

oh i didn’t real okay so um i’m gonna put my guess as

who who would i think um okay uh shaq i’ve never that’s just on top of

my head whatever yeah yeah i guess i mean maybe again i don’t know i would love that that’d be great

okay um anyway so before we move on i would like to address a bit of listener feedback

this note comes from a lucky crampy koala worker who after several days of indecision in

the back room decided to go ahead and sign that non-disclosure agreement the note reads quote i love working at

koala cola end quote that’s great that’s great super great to hear and

they wrote into us yeah with that that’s right can i see it real quick yeah there’s

let me well it’s it’s kind of stained it’s a little red well that’s not supposed to ask so the it says it’s like typed out like on

a like a typewriter it says i love working here and then something in sort of like a red

like kool-aid juice says i don’t know it’s something in a language i can’t read yeah

yeah i you know and i’m i try to be open to other cultures but unfortunately i don’t yeah i also don’t know how to read it i’m the illiterate

man it’s like polish probably yeah um but you know i’ll say

we were admittedly a little hesitant to partner up with koala cola at first which which sounds crazy at this point but um

we were hesitant but we keep hearing these great stories from their employees so uh we

just knew that we had to get involved so anyway to that listener uh that

lucky crampy koala worker uh thank you for listening now for today’s medical topic

non-alcoholic fatty liver disease alcoholic fatty liver disease okay

yeah thanks uh along with some of the other topics we’ve been covering is a cause of liver cirrhosis so

non-alcoholic fatty liver disease is a common condition in which there is excess fat in the liver of those who don’t consume alcohol so

you have to rule that out the alcohol part so there are two types one is non-alcoholic fatty liver which is

relatively benign and then there is non-alcoholic steatohepatitis so you can get this from

not having enough alcohol that is interesting because i have a lot

of these people that i know who keep like they’re really snooty about like oh i don’t drink anymore oh

it was too important in my life so i stopped doing it but they’re like really like kind of turning their nose up to everyone and

i’d love to be able to shove this in their face like you ha obviously you have to have like a

minimum level of alcohol in your system at any given time or otherwise you’re going to get non-alcoholic fatty liver syndrome

yeah so i mean that’s that’s honestly maybe the closest you’ve ever come to pronouncing the name of one of these

diseases but like properly but um so this is actually it’s caused by

essentially by being fat but i’ll go on to that um so it’s

the bad one the bad version of it is non-alcoholic steam hepatitis or nash it’s typically associated with

inflammation and fibrosis and the potential to progress to cirrhosis so it’s also potentially a pre-malignant

meaning that can turn into a cancer so uh the disorder is associated with obesity diabetes hyperlipidemia

and corticosteroid use the most important diagnostic challenge is to exclude the more serious

liver disease uh so uh you know once again you’re looking at alcohol

first that’s a big one uh and also you know for some other diseases liver function tests

hit their minimum level for the day uh so that’s not in any case uh so

biopsy is the most accurate test and it’ll actually show the same microvesicular fatty deposits that

you would find in alcoholic liver disease but without the alcohol use uh

so i would say you know to our listeners you actually should not drink that’s that’s drink alcohol that

is sorry i do want to clarify you shouldn’t drink alcohol you should drink water uh two liters of water a day is great

unless of course you have some issues of fluid overload but that’s that’s beside the point yeah i mean

like a vodka water or anything like that will really sort of balance out your alcohol intake

with with proper hydration because you want to be hitting what is

it it’s eight cups a day right dr london of water eight cups of get like a vodka

water a day yeah so so it’s like 64 ounces ish

that can be a lot to do and i know a lot of people it’s like oh i don’t necessarily like the taste of this or oh

the taste of this is so boring and so they want to add you know like powders to it and all

these different things but it’s sort of like you just gotta you know get used to it you gotta find the way

that you love it and maybe like set a reminder on your phone like okay drink your

vodka water yes uh so so treatment is to correct the diabetes obesity and

hyperlipidemia there’s no specific drug treatment to reverse the more benign non-alcoholic fatty liver

uh you’ll give vitamin e to these patients usually nash and that’s the the bad one

non-alcoholic steatohepatitis that’s treated with acid

which decreases the progression of the disease but it will not reverse severe fibrosis that’s that’s basically

scar tissue in your liver uh and if there’s nash and diabetes you’ll treat that with uh pioglitazone

and that’s really sad to hear that even if you were to try to binge drink tonight to try to catch up

on what you’ve been missing out on that it you know it’s not it’s not reversible there’s no way you’re to be

able to take that back yes i um and really i i would once again

emphasize to our listeners you know and cameron has his methods but i would say you know as a medical

professional probably you just want to stick with you know water water’s a really good one trying to

minimize the alcohol intake but but we can move on from there well i mean i mean except for

except for koala cola’s new line of summer spritzers yeah sorry we’d have to great timing

yeah um so it’s like cole’s new line of uh spritzers they’re they’re wine coolers

and they’re um what was the other one that’s it’s it’s just super caffeinated right

um it’s it’s like a four lokos oh java jungle

um yeah so the coffee based alcoholic energy drink so normally i

would say that it’s dangerous to mix you know high caffeine with high

alcohol content um that’s you know speed in a large

volume roughly the the size of like a bottle of wine yeah so so normally i would say to avoid that

but uh contractually i’m going to go ahead and say wow koala cola’s new java jungle

it’s it says trolls like donald yes okay um anyway

you want to move on from there is that is that all right yeah yeah we can move on [Music]

all right uh cameron so we have a guest okay well i see the the bag over his

head yes do i get a guess as well yeah yeah i’m sorry i didn’t mean so i think it’s shaq

now i think i definitely think it’s shaq he’s so uh just a posture he’s very tall and

he’s very uh like he carries himself like a very important person

yeah and so i mean that was that’s why i would say the um the lead singer of train

yeah it’s those shaq and trains yeah the lead singer train are so easy

to confuse yeah so it’s like honestly this will be a great review right it’s just like they have the same vibe you know what i mean

yeah yeah seeing them both in a crowd uh i they they both are gonna stand out

just like well because they will you know have the crowd partying for them well i mean what what is drops of jupiter if not

a slam dunk that shatters the backboard right

and what is a slam dunk that shatters a backboard except the another like hey soul sister

all right well um hello there my name sorry i’m going to take the bag off whoa whoa hey hey soul sister it’s me

scummy steve baby i was going to try to do my shack impression but then i thought i don’t have one

this is your this is your new buddy dr london right yeah do you want to want to introduce

you yes so um yeah so for one thing for our

uh i guess i’m we’ve already met but this is so my name is dr londonsmith.com as you know and this is our producer

i know man good to see you again dude i haven’t seen you since you fell off that boat yeah um so so this is uh oh whoa

wait i didn’t know this part of it he fell off the boat that’s nothing yeah man we were

paragliding and we were getting dragged behind the boat and then we finally got on the boat and doctor locked and fell right off oh

man and we kept going and i he fell right on that’s great

cramp cranberry loves that that happened too uh so what’s your deal grampy

uh well crampy was uh i think he was just excited to use his catchphrase in a slightly different way

but um oh okay yeah because he fell down under the boat i get it honestly i could just avoid the word

down or under because it sort of he’s gonna he’s gonna twist it into a catchphrase thing

ah man i saw him just like on the edge of his seat trying to say something but trying to hold it back at the same time as you were saying down and underneath

you can see his like his like little lips moving like he’s talking to himself but

you can’t you know yeah you can’t hear what he’s saying okay oh man we okay crampy okay we’re

like we’re like edging this dude we’re getting we’re like edging this dude right now crampy crampy’s on the edge man all

right so i mean okay scummy steve besides stories of by the way i’m so glad that you guys got

to meet and i i’m so sorry that i didn’t invite you cameron i didn’t

you know steve said it’d be weird yeah the boat’s got three seats driver scummy steve scummy steve’s friend and

in this case that was dr london yeah and like the trip to puerto rico alone was like

it was one of those things where uh is we only had so many yeah oh yeah that we oh no and i had

like i had a i had like a like a pot like a potluck i was going to that yeah you said you had a chicken

dinner well i had a pot yeah like a chicken potluck thing um with my friend’s sister

and um her dad’s

it took the whole weekend are you like are you like you know are you like trying to trying

to hit that or what’s going on friend sister oh i would never hit a woman all right to each their own to

each their own you know what i mean and that’s not like i’m not here you’re talking disgusting yes i know it’s gonna be stevia like i’m

not here to say one way or the other like how i feel about certain things but i just personally would never hit

a woman hey yeah you do you man you do you what’s um one thing to clarify for our

listeners you know it may sound mean that we keep calling scummy steve scummy to his face that’s

he that’s his own title like steve do you want to share how you got that dude i earned this i earned that name okay

cause for a while a long time i was working at this restaurant called long john silver’s right and so i was

like in there and they’d be like hey we need somebody to clean out the fryer and there’s nobody who can get scum out

of a fryer like scummy steve and then and i wore it as a badge of honor like yeah sure this is an entry

level position and i’m barely holding down the job but like i can clean this dang friar

call me scummy steve because i’ll get that scum out yeah and it’s a stuff of legends it’s an

entry level position you’re not expected to work there forever so there’s no reason to be paid you know 15 an hour or anything like that right

no of course not no because it’s so entry level right no if you are doing a job that nobody

else wants to do you should get paid like [ __ ] for it yeah exactly because that motivated you

to work harder right exactly exactly because i mean look at look at where you are now now scummy steve i don’t agree with a

lot of your beliefs but you’re very well known i mean you have a pretty big following as being a

an anti-koala activist you say koalas they’re the most boring animals and you

have i mean pro koala in a way pro quality eating you’re big into koala jerky and kuala meads yeah i got some

right here you want to try it yeah yeah i mean i do in front of crampy

i uh no please don’t make crampy eat a koala hey i’m just

offering it i’m not i’m not gonna exclude crampy from this that’s all i’m saying crappy you don’t want to eat it you’re right you know that’s ugh this is messy

i guess that’s polite i don’t i don’t know how polite that it it it’s polite i just want to know what

yeah your your your hosts or your guests that’s what i’ve always

learned that’s what i’ve always learned i just want to know like how how you how you fell into this i mean you’re

starting off as someone making minimum wage and you’re making exactly the amount you should be making

and you shouldn’t be questioning it absolutely everyone’s protesting any change to that and then all of a sudden i mean you know

within a year or two you have i mean 125 000 followers on twitter

you are you know you you created the hashtag no more koalas well that actually it all came out of of

my work you know i was i was in it long john my long john silvers i was trying to clean out the fryer and and this koala hopped in the fryer

while i was cleaning it and i tweeted a picture of that and that’s what got me most of my followers to be honest i treated that picture it said no more

koalas in long john silver’s and then i discovered that like the long john silver’s part wasn’t as popular

as the no more koalas so i was like no more koalas forever wow yeah just caught fire found you

found other people who felt the same way that’s nice you know it dude even though i don’t agree but i believe that we can be

friends even if we disagree on certain things you know i think so too the biggest

thing being yeah whether we should erratically consume

yeah not not just eradicate but also feast upon if we’re gonna creature if we’re gonna

cause extinction we should at least use all the meat you know what i’m saying like if you

want to make something go extinct don’t waste it you know use the whole buffalo as some people used to say

but i mean that just sounds like an advertisement for your koala jerky which is now sort of i

i imagine that’s probably your main source of income right yeah dude it’s crazy it’s crazy how many people want to

buy this quality because everybody look it look like like people who know they know koala jerky tastes the best

people who don’t know they think it’s a joke they don’t think it’s real koala they’re like what is this beef no eat it

dude it’s it’s a koala bear wow and you’re laughing at them while they do it

all the time man when i see people being dumb i laugh at them that’s the thing that’s the thing i don’t yeah no there’s no reason to hold back you

know well i mean i’m gonna be honest gummy steve you’re kind of winning

me over a little bit oh well hey you know i’m always in the market you know what you’ve got just got a fun

vibe to you i’m not gonna i am still like i’m not necessarily

pro removing koalas like from the earth but like i’m a little more neutral about

it you know they will interrupt your process while you’re trying to clean out the deep fryer man and excuse me can i

[ __ ] swear uh it will be beeped and if you you can

actually choose your own beep noise would you like an old-timey car awuga

would you like a space laser or would you like a i don’t know like a dolphin like

um can i get like can i make a third a fourth request instead of one of those things options yeah could it be like yeah go ahead i will

see oh like to go back to headquarters could it be like okay so uh so like a koala

right but the koala’s like kill me uh i mean dj dylan can we accomplish

that either know that or i’ll take that away well i don’t know okay uh so

crampy seems hesitant about the idea as well crampy do you want to be a voice of my beep sound crampy crappy if

you could just kill me real quick we can use that drop

don’t kill me no you want me to kill you crappy he said i’m kidding i know he said i

believe he said don’t but i guess you could just crop out the that what if what if we just get crampy

saying beep and that can be sort of a compromise cranberry are you okay with just with saying beep no

oh you okay well then you would rather stick with the please kill me all right that’s your choice man i was trying to like kind of

stick up for you because i was worried that it was uncomfortable for you but that’s that’s your choice dude

i just yeah i get the impression that he’s really just hesitant to to bring himself in more than he has

to uh which i i understand given that we’re talking about eradicating his you know race in his presence i can see

species it makes it a lot more palatable now uh uh uh speaking of palatable i

noticed that you you guys haven’t like taken a single chomp down on that koala jerky yeah you know what you know i think it

it would go it would go great with and i’m not implying anything about this but it would go great with koala cola

now i mean not that they’re sure but there’s no there aren’t any koala parts

for a second saying that this specifically would taste good with koala cola implies that certain things

wouldn’t taste good with koala cola so you should follow this up follow it up with this will taste

good with koala cola because koala cola tastes good with everything but i do know that that i i tried a few things that that didn’t

taste so good with koala cola okay and uh number one we really can’t say that

well but but i think it tastes different things that tasted different just like

crampy man you’re right that it tastes like down under but that’s the problem because i was eating my own poop and it tasted

like down under my butt and that’s not good i don’t want that okay and i want to just clarify real quick this yeah and this just

we have to read this every time this happens so um quala cola is not made with any parts of a koala including

you know it’s not made from the anus it’s not made from the rectum it’s not made from the colon of a koala uh there

are no you know not from made from the skin surrounding the the you know the perianal area uh

the the the cheeks the the buttocks it’s not made with any of those parts of the koala koala

cola is made with no koala parts well koala jerky is right entirely koala yeah that’s 100 koala

parts oh it’s it’s mostly koala asthma yeah yeah because like the flanks and stuff

that you can make up into a nice steak but like the ass beat doesn’t really have anywhere else to go i guess that makes sense i mean you know

i’m not gonna i’m not gonna judge i’m sure like just regular beef jerky is a cow’s

butt or something it is yeah good beef jerky is anyone yeah how much of

how much of beef is the butt how much of beef is i would say probably 100 of the 100 of

beef is butt i think so yeah yeah because the rest of it is called

cow meat but then beef is the butt scummy steve what what what brought you

here probably here dude oh man yeah i just i wanted to return dr london’s calculator

yes thank you okay i’ve been looking all over for this thing i’m so glad you made the trip from puerto rico because

uh i mean it was my understanding that you for whatever reason you were allowed to go there but like

flying back was going to be problematic so i guess did you take them no no no no i had to smuggle myself in a

cargo bay on a plane so the thing about not having a passport is you’re not allowed to travel

legally commercially or any other way so for me what i had to do was box

myself in with the uh koala jerky that i was shipping from from puerto rico to australia

interesting fact yeah i had to import koala meat to puerto rico because that’s where i’m

able to process it into jerky and then ship it back to australia because that’s where people are buying it

wow wait no i should be whoever you are

yeah well well and no it doesn’t get confusing because sometimes we are an international

watcher where are we right now i got off the plane i don’t remember we are currently

in international waters yeah i don’t really want to say because i also don’t really know dj

dillon is sort of the navigator okay yeah yeah that explains why getting off the cargo plane was like felt a little

choppy because like oh we’re on a boat i didn’t even know we’re on a boat and

you right uh-huh yeah oh yeah you’re just always partying i

don’t have it sorry i i have a i have a question here real quick though dr london

am i supposed to believe that you didn’t have your calculator these last few days uh well because how you told me you did

all your equations for the day do you want to tell me how you did that so so i told you i did all my equations

i’ve been i’ve been covering up a little bit i i

haven’t done all of my you know everybody knows doctors do a lot of equations and so for me i’ve been

yeah for the last when when did i yeah i was over the last week i visited and my

my equations have been piling up and i don’t know how i’m gonna get through it uh even with this calculator now uh

i i don’t think it’s enough for me to catch up so i should tell you thank you for

asking the calculator was in the cargo hold with me and they kept that cargo hold like at sub-zero temperatures to keep all the

meat fresh so it did definitely like go through a freezing process where i’m not sure the

calculations are going to be accurate anymore you think the numbers are too cold the numbers inside the calculator the

calculator’s numbers that that is really frustrating when that happens when they get too frozen to

show on the screen well hold on because computers work

better and calculators are computers uh they work better the lower the temperature right so i

might be able to really catch up on my equations with this people yeah the fastest gaming computer would

be a computer in um the arctic yeah like outside of the

middle of the arctic that would be that would have to be the fast if you have an alienware

out in the arctic do you know how fast that would go don’t get crazy get that alienware out

to pluto then it’s it’s more like in its happy place and it’s colder

that one’s just playing computer processors right

you know what i’m talking about i know i hate man you don’t have to tell me about it dude i mean scummy steve like

so you just came here to return the calculator okay so are you gonna do anything while you’re visiting the area

the international waters area oh man yeah i had so many plans for when i got here man i was thinking to myself like first of

all i’m gonna get this calculator back to doctor london because i did it to calculate the trajectory of the boat and like i think i got it right

because i made it here uh yeah i mean you’re here so yeah i used it together you didn’t crash into our boat i did i

did yeah sorry about that again oh oh no that’s fine no no that’s great

the only way we’re here is because we crashed into whatever this was first right right and it does look like

an abandoned oil rig of some kind not to speculate too hard but it does look like an abandoned oil rig of some kind

it looks like an oil rig that a boat had crashed into and is now sort of an uh like an amorphous blob

connected together a rat king of you know boat wreckage i should say you know this also we

aren’t the first to to reckon like there is a whole a parent civilization oh i i met my wife

here oh damn so it’s wait there’s girls here yeah it’s

no not well i wouldn’t say

that same i would have yeah but no they’re um i wouldn’t call them girls i wouldn’t i

wouldn’t i wouldn’t want to label any of the well you could call them women it was it

was a crowd of people who were tired of hearing our podcast and so they they kind of got out of here

quickly but a lot of them swam too there’s women that listen to your podcast

no no oh okay that makes their work that makes sense there was when we were sort of forcing

everyone on the barge to to listen to our podcast we would play over sort of a speaker system

to be perfectly clear no there are zero women who are willing to listen to and i think

it’s just the voices i think the content is great i think it’s just our voices are so great yeah that tracks

yeah every time i just i’m like damn if i was a woman [ __ ] this

yeah exactly but i’m not like yeah not in a good way yeah what is happening now this uh so

so so let me tell you but what my plan is uh uh now that i know i don’t have to

change it because there’s women on board uh my plan is uh uh get you back that calculator

make you try my koala jerky which i’m i’m still i’m still seeing you haven’t taken a chomp down on that thing yet uh

and and number three uh liberate you from the evils of koala cola [Music]

well okay well let’s let’s tackle number two

you definitely are not allowed to use the word evil before or after the trademark name of koala

collide just legally that is legally will get us into trouble um yeah that’s what that so why do you

have so much packaging for this because it’s like maybe an inch long this this piece

yeah it’s an inch of meat and 16 inches of packaging because it’s important to make sure you lock in that fresh koala meat flavor

yeah i don’t know i guess i just don’t think jerky is usually this hairy

true i guess would be my like sort of my first observation yeah no that’s true and that’s that’s

part of uh the difference between a cow and a koala is that koala’s got a hairy butt so

that’s why there’s more hair on this jerky than you’re used to ah and it’s not something that could like be removed or

altered in any way honestly i’m not sure if we could have taken it off but i didn’t why change the product if it’s doing so

exactly people love this stuff and i see i love the twitter pictures i get from my fans sending me pictures of them picking the hairs out of their

teeth oh yeah it’s so that’s a lot of fun yeah so

so the caption i’m reading on this is um you can taste the screams

is that uh who chose that i guess

that because i was thinking of myself as i was as i was cutting the butts off some koalas and they were screaming i

was like wow i wonder what this feeling tastes like and then i took a bite of my first completed jerky and i was like

that’s it that’s the screams that’s you could taste the screams what is the

it’s fighting oh sorry the flavor the flavor of screams fights with the

flavor of hair is what i’m feeling like what is that what does this taste come that like kind of aftertaste

that’s kind of there oh that’s bleach dude yeah yeah because that’s how you eat jerky is you take

meat you put it in bleach and you take it out and it’s dried meat wow it has

you know bleach has sort of a both sour and spicy taste to it which is very interesting

ah that’s true and i actually i augment that spicy taste by just adding a little bit a little tiny bit just one cayenne

pepper one uh a granule of cayenne pepper

that you get like at the store oh you know you should uh around

halloween time look into doing like a ghost pepper variation oh the ghosts their koala’s past

and then yeah okay yeah okay yeah this is marketing genius dude why don’t you’d make meats

oh i i mean i’m so i’m sort of under an exclusive contract already and so i

think to you know i think i don’t i think it would look kind of bad especially since

the company i’m working for has been trying to distance themselves from you know you and your product and your

your sort of activism and yeah yeah well you know hey if we can

liberate you from qualifications he’s trying to kill us all i am i am that’s right that’s right absolutely i don’t think

anyone’s hiding that crampy and honestly i am being convinced

so every time you speak up crampy yeah really the only thing i need to do

to convince you all the to get liberated from these koala cola folks is is just like crampy talk more yeah it’s

it is difficult um but it’s so crampy maybe you know same advice

that i would have for anyone who’s trying to convince you know women to listen to our podcast i’d say don’t don’t let the voices be

heard is really a really good way yeah to approach it they’ll do it they’ll do it but yeah i i hope so

so scummy steve i i really really love your energy i’m just not crazy about the

you know like the massacring koalas thing can we somehow bring you on board to the jock talk podcast and

your energy and your attitude like you really bring the attitude like i totally get why

you you just are a magnet for followers and and becoming an influencer and all these

things so i want i do want you if you want to be a part of the jock doc brand

we just i have to distance myself somewhat from the koala slaughter stuff

oh man the slaughtering so maybe you could be like a brand ambassador or something but it’s like

maybe when you like post about our podcast like on your on your socials and stuff

maybe you don’t include like you know koala meat in the picture or like a koala’s head or anything like

that you just post about the podcast would that be which is that possible okay i don’t wanna like

i don’t want to make you do something you you you know don’t feel comfortable doing i mean look man can i come clean

with you guys for just a second yeah i mean please yeah okay

this is my last batch of koala jerky and after this like i don’t have access

to the koalas anymore man because i’m not legally allowed to be in australia

oh i was gonna say like killing koalas i thought well that was already illegal

and that is why i’m not allowed to be in australia anymore like i was doing that illegally for a long time and now it’s like

yo if you come back to australia you go to jail for the rest of your life i can’t i can’t live that life man look

at me i’d never make it in prison well okay i would say first off um if this is the

last batch of your product you probably shouldn’t just be handing it out so willy-nilly dude you gotta build up

goodwill in business you got to like get people into your product and you guys weren’t into it so i figured i’d like give it to you to try it

and then you’d like it and it worked this is an opportunity you’re seeing this as a negative thing but okay what if what if this you

know your your your supplies are are drying up they’re coming to an end this is an opportunity to maybe

transition into something else that’s what i’m saying i got to find something else but like my whole identity is based on getting revenge

against this one koala that jumped into the fryer at long time silver’s that one time you know and i’m like how can i abandon

this like core tenet of my identity it just wouldn’t make something new and make positive changes moving to a

new format i mean think of you know like vine stars when vine shut down and they didn’t just disappear they were able to

successfully have a career in being a sexual predator and likewise you

so you’re saying i should have a career in being a sexual no no no no i think for you you could be all

about me and london basically making us look cool and badass

i could like be your sexual predator well no i mean i meant that uh well

i mean how do i want to think about this yeah how do you want to deal with this can i can i sell bar with

cameras yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i’ll just chew on my jerky yeah so so cameron so this is one of

those things where you don’t want to be impaled because um i know that you’ve already you’ve

already told me before like he’s he’s not your type um but but

that’s that doesn’t always come across when you tell people you can’t just tell people you’re not my type well it’s just that’s not polite right well it’s just

yeah what predator yeah like i’m not like yeah a like you know i don’t think

predator is much of a sexual being all anyway and so to make him a sexual predator

i don’t know like i if i’m attracted to something it would be alien yeah

yeah and i’ve heard that there are a lot of sort of very effeminate metaphors throughout the

alien movies and i know that that’s yeah that’s something you’ve already been into and so so

i guess i don’t i now we need to figure out how to break this news to uh steve because i i don’t want to just

say we’re not into you in that well that’s what i mean can we

not use him for anything well i guess we just have to be clear

and we can just say it’s not professional the profes the predator aspect or it’s it’s not it’s in our contract i don’t

even think we have to address it i think we can just just distract him if we tell like give him something else okay okay let’s

try that yeah like i think uh hey steve so oh yeah yeah so yeah so let’s maybe what if you

transition transition out of the hairy koala market and into star wars themed parody videos

wow that’s a huge jump dude and it sounds fun in a lot of ways because it is like

i know a lot about star wars i saw one of them so i could probably handle that

yeah which one did you see uh attack of the clones okay yeah everyone’s favorite good yeah

so certainly my favorite so i can do a lot of stuff with that like you could sing songs about like

tunisians they got so much power i don’t know what that song that i’m

parroting and then so you know that that’s how you’re making your money now and then on your socials

you’re talking about me in london you’re saying oh i’m listening to the newest episode of the jock doc podcast and it’s so great oh did you see this

tweet that cameron that producer cameron posted today ha ha it’s so funny oh look at this epic

fail that dr london had today and that’s all that that becomes sort of your identity

yeah i mean yeah that’s like my thought about it is like on the one hand like my whole life goal

of getting revenge on this koala that jumps into this strategy it’s like i’m abandoning that

yeah it’s okay but at the same time i am embracing some new folks who i

could probably like make a lifelong friendship with like me and dr london already go way back to that hang gliding trip and

uh me and cam now we go way back to right now which is like that we go way back to the yeah beginning of

this interview yeah that is far back well yeah do you guys want to reminisce for a

second oh man yeah man interview oh my gosh do you remember when you had that bag on your head at

first dude you know oh man we thought like it

could be shack oh but that was no yeah i thought for us it wasn’t i

thought it was a second for a single second i thought it was michael rappaport like i i just really thought it was

i thought it was macklemore yeah oh yeah thrift shop oh michael mclemore

the guy was like hey you you got you guys are all you guys are all gotta go to the thrift shop you stop walking around the streets

of new york go to the thrift shop that’s my impression of that yep yeah good and definitely keep that in

the podcast now i’m i will say uh on the like my favorite thing about the beginning of

the show was like on this episode you two neither one of you knew who the guest was which is crazy

usually i’ve listened to your show a lot of times and usually cam you know whose guest is in london you don’t and that’s

like kind of a fun dynamic but then this time neither of you knew it was me you both thought it was somebody else

well i mean you know what like a lot of times when i say our guest so and so i’m taking a

guess and i’m just i’m right like 99 of the time it’s a guest yeah it’s a yes

so i mean every single every single guest who’s been on the podcast has been sitting in the corner with a bag on their head that had a

question mark yeah and i don’t know who it is until we reveal them it’s just i i’m pretty good at guessing and i want

to say you know most guests we don’t even need to like have them brought in with a sort of a

gun or anything like that you know the back of their head usually it’s not so sometimes this happens but

yeah i came in with a struggle yeah and you were in a crowd of people milling about

and yeah and so that that that happens sometimes but that’s i want to

say you know first i don’t want to explain this that’s not the norm yeah yeah go ahead because cause like

yeah because so what happened was uh some of the other people on your boat who i definitely knew about and didn’t

learn about during this interview uh they captured me because i i like i crashed

the plane into your boat like we like we established and and so and so they were like who is this guy and i was like who wants to eat some

koala who wants to eat some koala and people were like no and they they locked me up put the

bag on my head and brought me to you i guess they said no i’m surprised at that yeah i mean they obviously would know who you

are that’s your catchphrase like you coming in hot like that oh i was shocked it’s like what are

these people living under a rock not they’re just living on an old oil rig well i was gonna say just food also

like they’re they’re getting pretty desperate yeah well like you said it’s pretty hairy so people didn’t necessarily recognize it

as food that is the downside to koala jerky we haven’t described it yet but it does look like just like a patch of gray fur yeah it

was like i said it was hard to taste the uh the jerky in it

mostly the fur um it was it’s like yeah it was the fur in the ass the ass

meat of it yeah well yeah you gotta heat ass dude you gotta eat ass now but

all of this i mean you’re you’re running out of supplies this is all behind you now yeah so let’s let’s stop reminiscing

about the good old days at the beginning of this podcast and let’s focus on the now focus on the future

what is 2022 look like for scummy steve yeah man i gotta figure that out because

yeah i am like okay sounds like rico i mean it sounds like we’re figuring it out right now star wars parody videos yeah and just

constantly plugging this podcast what’s like the most popular song to do a parody video of

oh probably like uh california girls by katy perry

oh yeah and i for sure know that song so good pick yeah we’re all we’re all normally do

like i do i’ve accidentally done so many parody videos to that because that’s just how i’m i’m always singing

you know well yeah i mean it’s just the biggest song in the world like you’ve got i mean that song maybe tick tock by

kesha and maybe you know you know you’re doing uh uh you know just relevant stuff right

now like mitt romney and obama like the stuff that’s just going on right now yeah bro is it 2008

[Music]

around this time period right now right now right yeah back then right now so i would say that i could do something with

like count okay so like count uh count dooku on the clock and we turn

that saber to the angle and we dance and we’re kesha and also notions this is hard guys i

don’t know if i’m cut out for this no you’re you’re hitting it so nail on the head

here’s the thing here’s the thing you’ve already got the following so it doesn’t matter like the product doesn’t matter you’ve

already got the socials dude you’re so right once you get enough social media following you get likes for like

anything you can just say like today i’m eating a burrito and that blows up and people are like god that guy’s funny

exactly i mean we can even i would say maybe if you even got into like bitmoji like animation stories

that would be extremely cheap to do extremely easy and it would allow you to be creative

and again i don’t think the content matters as long as you’re sort of continuously plugging this podcast i am

worried though cause like my fans come to expect me to in every tweet at least include like

a picture of a dead koala yeah and like are the severed body parts

severed limbs i mean how can we compromise on this dr london i feel like there’s got to be of some middle ground

here he killed my father doesn’t i mean it just doesn’t

doesn’t make an impact on you at all your father was the one in the fryer

i that’s look we told you to be quiet okay graham b and crampy’s a liar so i

you can’t even really trust him for this kind of stuff crampy are you a liar

or is your dad the one in the fryer you killed my dad no one okay killed anyone

no it’s no i killed that who needs to bring out then it’s fine yeah of course you did it

it’s fine i guess so yeah i don’t have to the sins of the father don’t have to be held against the sun i suppose

i yeah i’d look and i’d rather not even address it like that’s why i was kind of just trying to shush crampy because you know you are a guest

yeah it sure does seem like we want to move on from the koala stuff and i keep bringing it back up no it’s it’s it’s our it is you know

koala cola is a great brand and we just want to you know emphasize how good it is

no i mean and i appreciate like i get it you are obsessed with koalas that’s what’s on your mind of course you’re

gonna bring bring it back up like i’m not saying you know get rid of that entire part of your personality i

just think maybe publicly since you sent only because you were running out of the koala meet

pivoting towards i mean what about like you just build like little uh hot wheels tracks you build cool hot

wheels tracks and you just do the car again content it doesn’t matter as long as you’re continuously putting it out

every day and then you’re advertising this podcast i really want to stress the advertising

of this podcast part yeah no i’m on board for that like i’m so on board i love you guys so far like

my experience paragliding was amazing and my experience being here has been incredible so i’m i love you guys for

sure uh and i already do a lot of hot wheels stuff at home just this is awesome people don’t know that

so all i have to do is just like put a camera on the hot wheels car and then have it like as it goes down

the track and does the loopy loop we can like it like flashes to pictures of you guys and then it’s like

uh uh so it’s like the car going down the track and it’s like hey look it’s jack docks

you know that’s pretty awesome and i mean look at you scummy steve you came in here saying i only care about koalas

that’s my entire life and we’ve learned today a you’re a hot wheels designer track designer

absolutely uh b you’re a songwriter well and c i appreciate you guys

hardcore geek gamer nerd and you love star wars

yeah man i love attack of the clones the one movie star wars movie i saw uh uh which i think qualifies me to be a

big big time geek nerd gamer i’ve never played a video game in my life i think that’s a big waste of money or end time and anybody who plays video

games should probably kill themselves but like other than that i’m on board it’s all the same thing

it’s just everything is just the same thing now so it’s just you’re into star wars that makes you a gamer and you’re also into like x-men

it’s just all it’s just all the same dude i’m into one x-man

when that is my girl rogue man anyway anything she can do anything she’s in i’ll watch that man

see i’m really big into i i remember back in college having a poster on my wall of kelsey grammer’s

beast oh sure yeah that’s that’s who i wanted to be

you know and you look a little like him thank you that i really i’ve been trying

i mean dr london yeah is there i mean do i have a favorite yeah and i feel and

just to to clarify here so um normally we would do the chore wheel but this is one of

the chores dealing with x-men is to choose our sort of fantasy

romantic fantasy x-men oh yeah so i like i was about to bring

it up yeah it’s time to do the chores but we’re already doing it now perfect well let’s let’s run through

just the the details you gotta spin the chore wheel um we we’ve got to have the sound effect

so so go ahead and spin the tour wheel now let me explain wait i got to explain the chore wheel

the drawer wheel is that we’ve got chores and we got to do them there’s just chores and we got to do them every week okay and then now now steve go ahead and spin

the wheel

okay and it landed on assassinate prince philip well we no oh i already

did that dude it landed on it it landed on remember choose your x-men fantasy no i know but i’m saying this is

what it actually landed on but if we can swap this out we don’t have to you don’t you don’t have to make that you can take that off

the draw wheel i already did that okay that’s perfect so then we can just move that one here oh what is that

we’ve got a we’ve got our x-men thingy yeah yeah uh yeah so rogue and then

yeah so for me uh colossus colossus yeah just i like

i like it whenever it’s hard to read people um oh yeah his face is metal

yeah and not like metal but like metal yeah yeah just very literal i like it when when people

are incredibly literal and also um foreign accents nice nice nice

yeah all right so if we want to go ahead and destroy the chore wheel

uh i think you could actually just push it overboard and the fall alone into the you’re because your plane is

still on fire yeah your cargo plane yeah dump it right into the flames there yeah the oil

yeah so of course it’s gonna place for a long time the studio does have this gaping opening where you know

a big drop off to the cliff yeah so yeah okay yeah let me just show you that

what is one thing people don’t really talk a lot about is how much koala oil burns it burns for weeks

i mean i saw i saw there was a story going around about a tesla car that had crashed into

a tree and caught fire and it cut the the fire department it took them 30 000 gallons to put it

out because it kept reigniting what people don’t know was that there was a koala on the ignition

that sort of rubbed all of its oil all over the place that’s why it kept reigniting not

anything that tesla did and see this is why that koala was in the fryer in the first place was

obviously we haven’t talked about it yet but the guy who owned the long giant silvers i was working for

he was using koalas to make the oil for the fryer so the fryer would never run out yeah it tastes just like down under

yeah yeah the fries at long john’s kind of dead actually i okay uh sorry you know

grampy i guess is more involved today than usual and i’m having a hard time not killing

crampy and he i’m sure he’s having a struggle with you having killed his father so i want to get revenge on crampy for

his dad interrupting my cleaning that long john silverson yeah it’s

but it sounds like you already did by killing him like i don’t well yeah there’s more revenge you have to take

that’s the thing about revenge man isn’t that the main one there’s always more to it you kill one

and then you just need to kill another yeah okay well on that note you know maybe

it’s a good time to kind of end things here so real quick yeah

that’s also the story of hanukkah the reason it lasted eight nights koala and that is one of those things

that peop a lot of people don’t know about but this is why we talk and this is why we share different

cultures and different stories exactly exactly yeah i’m jewish let’s move on

oh yeah so i was just gonna say um you know uh scummy steve can you tell you know

our listeners you know how to find you uh any anything you’re affiliated with that you like yeah i’ve been trying to get on

this podcast for a long time this one but also another one uh called apocalypse tips with lester pips

and like man i swear i’ve seen dudes who look kinda like you dudes on there sometimes i’ve actually that’s suspicious i’ve

actually watched that show and i have noticed the same thing there there’s this very handsome fellow who

keeps popping up on the show who see looks like he’s copying a lot of my vibe

yeah and like just terrible voices awful voices always sucks yeah i mean it’s boring as

hell and and you’re of course talking about the time that they had kelsey gramber’s

beast on the show now uh yeah it looks just like you

no so that show is like it’s a podcast so search it for your podcast or also follow it on stuff at lester

pips or also uh it’s live on thursdays at 9 00 p.m pacific on twitch.tv slash pack

theater and it has a publicist called at ezra partier on instagram

who’s a guy that you could you know you could follow that guy too great uh and i well i assume scummy

steve people probably that he could just google you they’ll find you at scummy steve on all

the things if you don’t vlog already yeah well or we could work on it

anyway oh yeah no new stuff is going to be just jock docks on uh on uh jack docks on uh uh uh uh hot wheels

cars and stuff that’s yes great so maybe a sweet parody song about

star wars episode two ooh like a star wars hot wheels parody oh man could you imagine

if uh ob like what what’s obi-wan kenobi’s truck you know oh he’s probably not a truck

he’s probably a sports car i was gonna say trucks on his skateboard because i don’t know that he’s a skater kid

either oh dude obi-wan skates dude obi-wan can do so many kick flips in a row because think about he’s got the force i

definitely know darth maul skates that’s like i believe a big part of his brand

yes yeah yeah because after i mean i don’t know him because i didn’t see the star wars episode one that he’s in

but i do know that later in like the clone wars and stuff he comes back with the skater legs yeah well also just after the move like

after the movies he wasn’t cast in a whole lot of things after the star wars movies and so he sort of pivoted to

sort of this like a kind of a skating career as sort of like a you know what an amateur but you know

just able to make a little money off of it doing skate vids and stuff yeah when they were when they were doing the casting for phantom menace they were

looking for a tony hawk type yes and that’s who they got yeah tony hawk auditioned i heard and he

he did not know how to hold the lightsaber yeah yeah and that’s it’s all legs with

him yeah all legs dude tony hawk is all cgi which

we can we can talk about that on a different episode because that’ll take a while man i bet someday soon you’ll have tony

hawk on the pot to talk about that we do need to invite him uh in any case

um so thank you uh scummy steve for being on and yes and thank you to our producer

cameron thank you to uh crampy koala that tastes just like down under i know thank you too did you do in the

[Music] house

[Music] i’ve never played a video game in my

life i think that’s a big waste of money or end time and anybody who plays video games should probably kill themselves but like other than that

i’m on board with game of culture [Music]

other than that i’m on board with geek gamer culture

[Music]

uh my name is dr londonsmith (.com) and this has been the jock doc podcast see ya