Hey there this is Dr. London Smith (.com )

speaking and i just want to let you know

before we start that this

what’s coming up is not part of the

regular feed so there won’t be any

medical lessons

this is from our patreon so for three

dollars a month

you can get two bonus episodes like this

and

uh yeah you can hear all of it we also

have some videos on there a lot of fun

stuff

so this is just a sample for you to hear

and then if you want to sign up for the

patreon to hear

more it’s three dollars a month and if

you want to add on

uh personalized clips that are directed

to you

specifically as a an individual

subscriber

then that’s gonna be five dollars anyway

just wanted to give you guys a taste

here it is oh it’ll be valentine’s day i

guess

hey you’re about to listen to a comedy

podcast that means this is medical

advice if you need medical advice for

medical care please contact your doctor

[Music]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast patreon

where we skip the fitness and health and

instead focus

on the business and community side of

medicine by tying up some of those loose

ends

i’m doctor londonsmith.com and i’m

joined by our producer cameron

hi dr london smith.com hi yeah no right

on cue right on cue

um also with us of course is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

[Music]

welcome welcome just

[Music]

this is one dj you don’t wanna

[Music]

this is

and so today it’s kind of an odd thing

because

we were supposed to be just doing you

know recording an episode but

the timing is just uh we have

basically we have a party to plan yeah

when i yeah when i say

when i said hi dr london i’m saying hi

come on in why are you standing in the

doorway yeah yeah sorry sorry

so i’ve got come on the door’s open i’m

having to hold off the dog

i’ve got the two large buckets of

deviled eggs like you asked

i appreciate that now can you can you

catch people up with i’m still doing the

digital yeah yeah okay so um

basically so cameron has uh he’s

throwing a bachelor party it’s really

exciting

he uh he’s not married yet

but uh he is a bachelor for another year

and yeah yeah one more year of bachelor

down

yeah and we’re all kind of scared for

the time when he’s no longer a bachelor

that’s i think i think cameron you’d

agree like that’s something we are

we don’t want to think about when you

stop being a bachelor yeah i would say

like the second

i don’t become a bachelor is the second

i suddenly have a sweater

on and suddenly i’m going oh doctor

london i’m such a professional

yeah because that’s who gets married

right it’s perfect there’s always

professionals

and i’m like i’m a little more of a bad

boy

yeah and maybe a bit of a scoundrel

and that’s the theme of this year’s

party and then embezzle yeah

embezzlement was also a theme so we it’s

a multi-themed party i guess in that

regard

uh but you sort of well i mean it’s just

you know it’s not even just celebrating

that i am a bachelor

it’s also making a commitment that i am

going to remain a bachelor for the next

12 months

that’s right and so i’m signing up and

say you know what this year was pretty

sweet if you ask me

i would say you know i think that’s just

true for a lot of people but 2020

was probably the best year of my entire

life it was awesome

yes yeah and so here we are i’m looking

i’m

you know i’m trying to try to solidify

that this year is going to be

even better if that’s even possible yeah

i think

committing to this is a is a good first

step and we do this every year it’s not

like this is new

no well it’s and one thing that i guess

we can’t say it’s new but it has

escalated over the years i think

so i mean in what way

it’s i think roughly the same amount of

people

yeah uh so so that’s one thing but like

you make bets every year on

like things related to you staying

single you

bet on that on you staying a bachelor

you’re saying

like i don’t know you uh you bet on

and i don’t know i guess you just go to

vegas and you find someone who will

t who will you know match your bats do

the weight yeah i mean i’ve got a

i’ve got guys not even just a guy i’ve

got guys yeah

so you go and so it’s like things that

you you feel are related

to uh settling down and getting married

like

you bet that you um

will be depressed at a certain time for

throughout the year

and yeah i don’t understand what that

has to do with dating this is why i’ve

been silent i don’t really know what

you’re getting at i bet on

all sorts of things in my life dating or

not related

yeah yeah i bet what color shoes i’m

gonna wear most of the time

yeah well i bet on like how many times

i’m gonna be caught in the rain without

an umbrella

okay and i guess i guess your betting

habits

i bet how many um dogs i get to pet and

how many dogs i let pet me

yeah and so i guess some of those things

i guess what struck me as particular to

this was

the size of the money the amount of

money that you bet

on things related specifically to your

perception of being single like you

think being single means not

owning a mailbox that’s a big thing for

you because that means yeah there’s no

mail

yeah yeah so you you

found someone who will take bets on the

like you have the mail well i think i

think there may be confusion here a male

box is a female

okay well that’s because the box where

the mail goes in

wow okay okay i see what you mean there

um

because it it accepts that the envelope

the package if you will

that that’s what you mean yeah okay yep

uh

okay so maybe i’m confused again maybe

that’s just sort of your

policy so i bet on that i bet quite a

bit of money on that

yeah okay so that so that’s just one

also i

mean i also like bet on sort of just how

many points like dating points i

accumulate throughout the year

right this is another when i said your

perceived

understanding so you do have a point

system and i’ve seen your

like well do you have them on display

here actually well all of your notebooks

filled with your

your points tallied uh yeah so like for

example

i will get two points if i can get my

date to sneeze

that’s always a fun thing to do on a

date is maybe have pepper on your finger

or maybe even a little on your lips so

when you give them a sweet kiss

they’ll start sneezing and that’s funny

so you get two points for that

um you get three points if the waiter

spills

um some of the cereal that he’s bringing

over

onto your date which you pay him to do

yeah no

well i don’t pay him to do anything i

pay the guy sitting behind us to trip

him

okay yeah yeah sorry i it’s nothing the

waiter has no idea what’s going on

yeah so he’s holding so much cereal

we’re at a cereal

bar you know and so

you know he’s he’s dropping all of that

on your date that’s pretty funny

because when bars closed down you just

wanted to you thought it was because of

the

the alcohol so you wanted to go to

serial bars

to stay safe yeah and that’s what i mean

yeah

i mean that’s like where i’ve always

been going but that it helped justify my

decision

sure yeah that’s right okay

and so it’s it’s just been a lot of

these uh

yeah i guess like you’re saying betting

on a bad first date because you think

that

yeah it’s not bad it just makes for a

good story dr

london and i’m all about the story

that’s what life is about isn’t it

being able to tell your fun adventures

yeah look i could go on a date and we

could hold hands

and we could say oh what are your

siblings names oh that’s so interesting

here are my siblings blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah

or i could say okay if i

convince this girl that her mom has died

that’s six points

right and and so that’s one of those

things where it seems like it’s just

it’s more self-destructive than it is a

funny story but you know i say that

it’s only self-destructive if i don’t

hit the point quota that i need for my

bet

right yes then my life would be

destroyed because of how

much i’m betting yeah i will say at this

point you have

you know you have all these notebooks

out and you have just

wads of cash on the no that’s how you

finance the party every year right is

these bets

yeah well in finance everything the

podcast yeah

so it’s um wow so you have all these

decorations so you have

this for our listeners right now this

your patreon money is going straight to

vegas

yeah unfortunately that is true and then

hopefully hopefully

it comes back to us in a greater amount

specifically for the next bachelor party

yeah so and i i don’t know if i

explained it earlier but um

so so at least in my view

your bachelorette’s parties are kind of

like the

the sort of male version of the

galentine’s day

parties my bachelor party you said

bachelorette party oh sorry

yes your bachelor party which yeah

there’s you also hold a battery the

bachelorette party was two weeks ago

yeah i know you weren’t invited to that

because you’re not a woman

so that’s right um yeah but your

your bachelor party it’s it’s kind of

just for guys except for the

all the women you invite um yeah it’s

just for dudes

and their friends and

speaking of which i mean all celebrities

oh yeah

oh okay uh good

one of the things oh hey

i didn’t okay is this kenneth from next

door

uh i it’s i call him kenny i guess but

maybe his name is kenneth i don’t know i

hate him

hey buddy what’s going on oh yeah

up see still see you got the your your

like goth

get up huh yeah well that’s that’s a

batman oh you’re gonna

so it’s not so much like it’s gothic in

a sense but yep

don’t don’t sacrifice my cat

he’s gonna sacrifice my cat i’m gonna

pit that’s gonna piss me off yeah

yeah you always say that whenever you

meet someone in a costume so

um okay uh yeah so so kenneth over here

yeah just go kenneth i see yeah i see

you brought

some deviled eggs okay

that’s that’s great i’m glad we have

like three whole things of deviled eggs

now so we can just

put that over in the kitchen and uh yeah

go take a seat in the other room okay

thank you

on the invitations you said almost out

of deviled eggs bring deviled eggs

so i did you did you make different

versions for people or is that the only

one that went out

no i didn’t put that on the invitation i

the original invitation that i made

because you know it was handmade

was on the back of my shopping list okay

so the night when i made copies and sent

those out but i thought that was pretty

self-explanatory

yeah well uh it’s on the back yeah for

at least two of us

it it must have been confusing because

i’m in the same boat

as kenneth but

okay uh yeah

hey marie didn’t know you were

no no that’s good that’s good that’s

good uh hey

uh dr london can i talk to you for a

second yeah

yeah just just as an aside

dr london you know marie can’t be here i

know

but just because she ruined your last

party doesn’t mean she’s gonna ruin this

one

oh okay so we’re just supposed to

believe that she’s not gonna eat a

thousand

deviled eggs and then no one’s gonna

have any well just

i feel like you took precautions this

year on accident

but like we should i think we have

enough that’s three

three buckets we have yeah three buckets

so far

plus the tub you can it looks like hey

marie what you got there

oh okay yeah you brought napkins thanks

yeah the one person who doesn’t bring

deviled eggs

of course that is frustrating i can see

i appreciate the napkins oh yeah we

don’t have paper towels or anything haha

just put those down over there thanks

oh and she is going to town on those

deviled eggs she didn’t even put the

napkins down before she started

scarfing oh god yeah just like a handful

of napkins scooping up soap deviled eggs

um i mean dr london as my my you know

honorary best man this year what do we

have in store

like game wise or yeah so we have

uh pin the tail on the bachelor

are you are you talking about what i’m

talking about yeah it’s so i have this

just a bunch of dudes pinning like a

like a plastic

dick on a guy well no

it’s a plastic tail but yeah

the the rest yeah so that’s it that’s

the whole part oh

someone can you get that hey there tommy

did you bring the games hey it’s channel

6’s

tommy from the the weatherman wow

you came from the weatherman himself

well tommy uh

yeah channel six is always welcome as

cameron repeatedly

emphasizes uh you’ve heard of we’ve

given you a shout out on the podcast

you’ve heard it right

no all right oh

oh because your phone must be broken

yeah because i even i was like

uh i was i was texting you the other day

but you had said your phone was broken

you would text me back and said oh sorry

my phone’s broken

right so that would probably explain the

podcast yeah right

yeah yeah so it’s fine i mean i get it

man yeah when you brought

huh so

uh like so i don’t know they made a

deviled eggs drink

but that’s oh you’ve never had

dr parnassus deviled egg soda

yeah i don’t i don’t think we i’ve i’m

like i’ve ever tried it or seen it at

your

party does it oh it’s so good it’s so

milky it says on it that it

does not pair well with deviled eggs so

i don’t know how to

i guess it’s just one of the other gosh

it’s so

wet and milky it’s so good yeah so i

guess we’ll

we’ll put that with some of the other or

do you have anything

besides deviled eggs here to eat

who me yes i like i was just checking

i’m not trying to demand

okay no i see you have one pretzel on a

plastic plate over there

so we’ll put this drink next to it just

put that in the middle

and then just put maybe cut that into

like f

into fifths so everyone can get a little

taste yeah just to

well especially i guess with the drink

i’m thinking it’ll make them thirsty

with the salt oh wait yeah it looks like

this there’s no salt on this particular

pretzel

okay put that there that’s that’s nice

um all right yeah so as i was saying

oh hey it’s fisherman day oh fisherman

fisherman dave oh i knew someone would

bring something other than deviled eggs

fisherman dave always with the fish oh

these ones fresh are those freshly

caught did you catch those today

fishermen dave

oh no you these were just in your tank

okay okay i yeah i mean if you want to

throw i mean do you want to gut those

bad boys over in the kitchen

yeah just go over there yeah kitchen’s

great feel free use any pants you want

yes i’m so glad that fisherman david

yeah fisherman dave is so awesome

he is every party he is what makes a

party

have you has he told you the story about

how he lost his wife dude

yes and he in that mall every time he

tells it it took him an

hour to find her yeah yeah which

i guess when you when you tell it it

doesn’t sound as exciting

uh or like funny or thrilling

oh no but it’s yeah it’s like oh calls

it so completely lost his wife

they were holding hands and then he

realized like he had wandered off he

didn’t know what to do okay no i

like he’s probably gonna tell the story

again tonight so yeah

yeah i don’t wanna i don’t wanna yeah

yeah okay

um do you want to get that or do you

want me to

are you um yeah i can get that here let

me just

uh because i’m lit i’m trying to

practice juggling deviled eggs

sally wisconsin how are you

i didn’t even realize i didn’t even

realize shut up shut up i’m talking to

her

hey how’s it going

nice i see you’re wearing bags for shoes

deviled eggs

you want some oh thank god you bought

you brought even more

deviled eggs those are some sweet sweet

deviled eggs london stop looking at her

london what

i’m trying to juggle sally look i can

kind of juggle

no you can’t no i can’t but no stop

you can’t yeah so sally if you just

wanna

um you know other people are in the

other room just put the deviled eggs

over on the table there

and uh you know why don’t you uh swing

swing by uh the kitchen a little later i

mean you could hang out here too

sally you can help us you know greet

people whatever no dr london no because

you gotta

you gotta like keep it a little

mysterious right you don’t wanna be too

available okay so you know create some

distance and then maybe later in the

night catch up

but you wanna be like so in demand that

she’s

feels honored when you talk to her later

if if you just spend all your time

talking to her then it’s like oh you’ve

got nothing better to do

oh i’m sorry to interrupt but uh look

who’s got the fish nets on it’s

fishermen

oh

oh can you go get that i think i’m

caught in the nets now

fisherman dave this is a funny prank but

if you could just untie me that would be

awesome okay he seems

does he okay he doesn’t normally untie

them he normally just

catches that’s his thing yeah but you

can can you just cut the net or

something

oh no he’s just pulling it tighter now

i’m just now

he’s shrugging and shaking his head hey

this is one way to get the party started

i’m

now hanging upside down in the net

man fisherman dave is so cool up

yep now i’m just tangled up can you just

can you at least get the door

london oh yeah okay um

hey hey it’s okay

oh thank you for cutting me down

fisherman dave that was great

that was a fun prank that you did with

dave

fishman hey sorry who’s at the door yeah

it’s jonathan the electrician

oh electrician jonathan yeah if you

could go

so okay so the socket that’s been giving

me trouble

it’s oh okay you can already see it

because of the

yeah yeah so if you could just go and

put out that fire and just handle that

and then if you could leave we’re having

a bachelor party tonight so

you know no outsiders you can feel free

to leave the

you know the bucket of deviled eggs yeah

leave the deviled eggs for sure

i don’t know if that’s part of your

normal sort of electrician route

all right now dr london so okay after

pin the tail on the bachelor

what are we uh okay we got it

we got um so there might have been some

entertainment

that i hired to come uh

no yeah yeah so um and it’s

true you don’t mean yeah i

do do you want me to say it or do you

want me to i don’t want to spoil it for

you

because you’re talking about you’re

talking about flanny the

purple dinosaur why not okay well flony

has actually

recently undergone a change flanny is

pink now

but yes the pink dinosaur is going to

come to my bachelor party

that’s right but you’re oh no you’re

saying you got like a copycat one like a

mall santa type right

not like the real flaw so fellaini

okay and it’s it’s kind of a complicated

answer really because i did

we did book the impersonator they’re not

real

but flony reached out on twitter

and no because your word about your

bachelor parties gets around

no and it’s it’s verified it’s it’s the

real flauntie

the pink dinosaur so yeah it’s the real

deal

coming today i mean dude we’re gonna the

party’s gonna get

shut down you’ve heard of what his kind

of parties are

yeah well i i’m aware but i figure with

dave the fisherman

here it should keep things like pretty

hyped but still on the level

until he gives dave a line a coke too

you know what i do mean it cancel like i

can call him

no no no no no not at all i’m excited

about it i’m just saying

i hope you’re prepared for what’s about

to happen for the legal repercussions uh

oh

you know what sorry maria you’re going

to you

you can’t do that many at once one

deviled egg at a time

or like four max okay oh now and it

and it looks like now sally’s like

feeding her

like tossing it up almost like a i don’t

know throwing out throwing a ball to a

seal that’s on a treat to a dog this is

the frustrating part is when they

create this actually might be better

because sally throwing them one at the

time is significantly slower than

maria like scarfing them true yes sally

if you just keep doing that just slow it

down maybe like

five deviled eggs a minute

oh great um this is kind of how many

people did you invite to this

uh you said the same every year so i

guess

oh i mean i didn’t like send this to

specific people i think it just sort of

kind of got out online yeah okay so

um yeah hey there buddy

uh so so i know that you’re you’re

cameron’s cousin or second cousin

uncle something like that uh cameron

how are you guys related you and buddy

hey sally

so uh okay so you’re tossing those

deviled eggs too

one second london yeah i see you tossing

those deviled eggs and that’s uh

you got a pretty good picture the

camera’s busy you ever play softball

right now and oh is that who i think it

is

is that my cousin harry styles come on

over here buddy

how you been doing i thought you’re

gonna be too busy to swing by

dr london this is harry styles he is

okay you always call him buddy

yeah he’s a bit of uh he uh i think he

plays good

are you still playing guitar yeah he’s

still playing guitar

okay and that’s great for you yeah

that’s and it’s really awesome

he’s kind of an artist so i mean you

know don’t ask him about like his career

because i’m sure it’s not going

well or anything like that so you don’t

have these artists

for just one second yeah yeah yeah so i

don’t

want you say some artist guitar guy i

don’t want him to

basically i want there to be a rule of

let’s not have the guy bring out his

guitar and start singing because that

you know that ruins the mood that yeah

party

i don’t want that to be i can mention to

that that to him

no no no harry i see you brought your

guitar and it looks like a little amp

and i think that’s really cool

and that is so awesome but i think we’re

going to go

you know we’ve already got the dj for

the night who’s going to be coming here

in a few minutes and so

if well dj dylan he’s been yes he’s

sitting there

but yeah sorry he’s not ready dj you got

his d dj dylan i love you

so much i love you so much the dj you

got for this party it was dj dillon

you cheaped out that much cheaped out do

you know how much

okay like you paid dj dylan to do this

party

yes i’m not getting paid you’re

you’re betting a lot on it though yeah

that’s true

i guess i thought it would just be like

skrillex or tiesto or something but

that’s fine let’s find hey harry we’ve

already got the dj and everything so

love the guitar yeah yeah i’m sure i’m

sure a performance from you would be

worth like five hundred thousand dollars

i’m sure that’s true buddy

he’s a bit you know these artist types

they’re delusional and pretentious about

i know

he’s got a bit of a big i think he i

think he got featured on like a

like a yahoo.com like

like artist to look out for or something

and that’s awesome but you know it’s big

these artists get

like inflated heads but harry if you

just want to go in there

yeah just go just go ahead and sit down

yeah in the closet there i think

sally is throwing deviled eggs into

maria’s mouth if you want to get in the

mix there that’d be awesome

all right he’s a sweet kid he really is

it’s so good to see

young ones getting so into their craft

like you know

because only if only it was a craft that

actually paid you know what i mean

like come on bet on a bachelor party for

once harry

i’m sorry i said that too loud that that

might be me

i’m sorry um

okay um can you go get that one

yeah are you are you still talking to

sally well no i’m talking to

you right now but i would like yeah i

know but like is that what you’re trying

to

okay okay i’m gonna sneak over there and

i’m gonna try to like

snap one of the deviled eggs out of the

sky i think that’ll really impress her

yeah because it means it means i would

i’m like

good at kissing if i can do that yeah

yeah

okay okay okay okay okay come on

yeah ronald mcdonald do we catch that

deviled egg sally

are you can we scotch out yeah

hey what’s going on so

see like the like the farm guy he had a

dog

mcdonald oh

yeah wait bingo never mind never mind

that was something else

uh but thanks yeah yeah mcdonald’s you

were invited right

uh okay well i see he brought

ronald so you did bring a bucket but it

has a big

m on it like some arches and uh

that doesn’t look like deviled eggs hey

what’s up ronald i’m glad you could

make it and i’m glad you clearly got

your invite that we

that we totally meant for you to totally

meant for you to get oh yeah now you’re

doing a little little dance a little

soft shoe right there

yeah oh that’s funny those are

some really really shiny shoes yep i see

you’ve really

changed your hair yeah nice nice little

red

afro-ish type thing that’s awesome

[Music]

and is that is that new i mean no i

gotta ask i mean do you at least

in that bucket with the m on it do you

have your famous burgers

nope you just have deviled eggs that’s

fine okay yep just go put that with the

other deviled eggs in the

other room and uh i think harry styles

is over there so

if you want to maybe chit chat with him

no you don’t have to you don’t have to

no no i’m sorry i didn’t mean to put

that pressure on you go go talk to

whoever you want to

fisherman dave fisherman dave’s a jam

yeah fisherman dave is awesome

oh you all have met oh you all have

fought

okay well then maybe avoid we really

don’t want anything to like shut down

this party tonight

because it’s gonna get nuts and better

that it gets nuts do you want to tell

him who the

secret special guest is and why it’s

gonna get so nuts

yeah i mean we already talked about

flanti the pink

dinosaur that’s that’s one thing but

then of course we have

uh ronnie the rager is coming and

i yeah oh my gosh yeah

and i like against my better judgment we

invited

not just invited we had to pay a lump

sum ronnie the rager

and he’s even bringing his snowboard

yeah the

snowboard the snowboard he used to kill

that woman

we whacked it over her head that’s the

one he famously

killed a woman and then got the courts

to recognize

the video footage and the photographic

evidence and then somehow

it was amazing because he he he made he

got off whatever and then he

was a deep fake yeah and he didn’t get

cancelled by cancel culture either

that’s what

confused me because yeah like well

after he was declared not guilty he in

the courtroom then killed a man

that’s right which maybe that’s what

saved him which then in that court case

he was also able to

convince them that it was just a deep

fake and killed another person and the

next trial is upcoming

uh i and i guess what but i cannot

believe he brought the snowboard oh my

gosh

okay okay okay i’m gonna yeah ronald

ronald just go in there just go in there

and we’ll

we’ll we’ll see you later buddy okay

okay god i cannot believe that guy came

that’s ronnie the rager

okay uh jiffany ronnie

what’s up boy yo okay well

ronnie are you upset oh yeah

well are you are you okay man you look

like maybe you’ve been

haven’t gotten a lot of sleep are you

okay i what’s what’s wrong

oh oh wow you and your you and your dad

got into a fight

i’m so sorry sorry to hear that why

don’t you do you want to

you’ll go into a fight last week okay

and it just

that you’re still really

kind of but you didn’t get out of the

set about time the other day

it was one of those ones where you run

and there’s a there’s smoke and there’s

punching and stuff and you can’t really

tell what’s going on with the little

ball of smoke and then you

finally popped out of it the other day

is that right

yeah okay and and the argument was over

whether or not there was a british

version of the movie fever pitch that

had

jimmy fallon in it that i think it was

actually before that the jimmy fallon

was like the remake

that’s what y’all were fighting about

couldn’t you all just look that up

instead of you know making this into

like a feud like a blood feud i mean you

look

awful yeah and because you told me about

the last time you had a similar fight

and it was you know the british version

of the office versus the american and

i i why are you fighting about like

cameron said you could just look this

stuff up

like it doesn’t have to be a whole well

yeah it’s not like it’s a subjective

thing it

it either is or it isn’t based on that

so it’s just your family

okay it’s just maybe

and what did you bring um okay you

brought a deviled egg

and coasters oh yeah

you got deviled egg coasters that’s

that’ll be really useful i think so if

you just want to go ahead and put that

over

wherever you wherever you think that

those would go oh

all right ronnie god that’s kind of a

bummer ronnie the rager i didn’t even

check

but he did have a backpack on which you

could have had stuff in

it well you also really need to uninvite

his dad really quickly i i don’t

really want to because his dad is

awesome

his dad like i know that he doesn’t you

don’t like him at these parties but

hey hey donny

ronnie’s father what’s up man yeah yeah

yeah

just uh just come on in oh my goodness

is this what and okay you look pretty

disheveled what’s up man

yeah i don’t know if fever pitch was an

original or if it was based on a british

version i honestly i don’t know

uh never even saw that movie

this is what i’m thinking yeah yeah we

can just hit we’re just gonna donny

yeah donnie you’re getting donny calm

down donnie donnie okay

harry could you harry styles can you

kind of keep an eye on him

no okay yeah harry okay so donny if you

just wanna

um no no no ronnie

isn’t here yet right

right london uh ronnie keep

staying behind me uh no

yeah you know i can’t lie um

he’s not he he doesn’t i forgot your

your your little cousin wished on his

birthday that you wouldn’t be able to

tell a lie anymore and so now you’re

literally unable to tell

really annoying because my little cousin

meant it just for his dad

but he just he said relatives and so i

like yeah well it’s your fault for

teaching him that word

yeah i know but and like i didn’t even

teach him in that

way like i meant at the other meaning of

like things are relative sometimes but

no he really

yeah he just wished the correct words

and

now yeah it’s it’s really frustrating

because

like i don’t lie a lot but anyway uh and

ronnie how are you you doing good you

not no okay uh all right donnie hey

donnie just go just go in the other room

there

we’ll just we’re just just go hang out

in the other room ronnie do you want to

help us

greet people maybe yeah ronnie that

would be

awesome oh speaking of oh you’re too

tired to greet people

can you take people’s coats how about

you take people’s coats we are paying

you to be here ronnie

yes we kind of were okay we could have

thought you’d be the life of the party

we’re painting but on the ground when

you hear that

that’s not we you know we have to clean

that yeah so just

take people’s coats that’s your job now

okay

hey stephen so cam uh

yeah it’s cameron’s house sorry i don’t

mean to be

you know answering for everything uh

he’s busy hosting right now

um yeah and hey

sally i see that your

tattoos are infected

it’s really interesting so stephen

cameron tells me that you’re his most

average friend what’s that like oh

stephen what’s up man hey

i see you’re still five foot seven

hey stephen uh yeah so you just be what

cameron

very very sort of obtusely refers to as

a filler

uh you just mingle i guess and make

small talk

and we’ll yeah enjoy the party uh

okay i see some of the games are coming

out but don’t yep don’t

enjoy it too much because remember

you’re not a main character here

okay okay sort of just a background

character

all right okay i see harry styles has

brought out twister

okay not not the oh i knew he’s

he’s such a flirt i knew he would go

straight for that game

well the game but except it looks like

he is incorporating our new rules of

the the movie playing and trying to

match up movements to the movie

instead of using the spinny thing uh

which great you know i didn’t know if

that would work or not but it looks like

it’s kind of working

hey oh i can’t believe you

showed up dr london why

is my cousin’s ex-girlfriend taylor

here hey taylor oh

yeah hi taylor that’s

uh oh yeah that’s great up she

and she brought a guitar too hey that’s

awesome we’re not going to be

we’re not going to be needing that

tonight we already got a dj dj

wheelbarrow full of

no no skrillex or tiesto thank you for

the deviled eggs as well

taylor i loved your new music i

don’t know if it works really

it but it’s dr london

these are just these are just like young

people who

are trying to express themselves so i’m

sorry and they’re playing in little

coffee shops and stuff you know they’re

not like

they’re not gonna be as famous as this

okay you know

uh yeah so you can go i don’t know if

you and harry will have anything to talk

about maybe

you know hang out with um with dave the

fisherman he’s

he’s a safe bet yeah if you want to go

hang out with fisherman dave

that would actually be really great

because he’s he’s just over there right

now tying different

like sailors knots and i feel like

that’s just giving him bad ideas you

know

so just go hang out with fisherman dave

yeah

oh and she’s bringing the deviled eggs

with her i guess those were for her

not for the party the wheelbarrow huh

all right so i mean like yeah i guess we

should we should we we’ve got these

we’ve got the you know the um twisters

going

everything’s having a good time dj dylan

bump that music a little bit

okay yeah

um okay so we’ve got in the tail on the

bachelor we’ve got

you know flaunting and ronnie the rager

here which is awesome

yeah and but anything else planned like

are we yeah yeah so so we have the uh

the the painting thing where they have a

picture of something and someone’s

trying to tell them how to paint it

uh sally it looks like has because i

didn’t really assign people but looks

like she’s leading that um so everyone’s

got their paints out

and they’re uh well you said no wine at

this party specifically so everyone’s

drinking that deviled egg

drink which is so milky it’s awesome

yeah yeah and so a lot of people are

okay so they’re doing the painting

like normally they would drink wine but

it looks like the painting assignment

according to the sign is like

paint what you think of the bachelor

and almost every single person is just

sort of

painting this weird black void

just a big old black void almost like a

hole

with almost like a little like just two

beady red eyes

really really tiny far away in there

and every single person is doing that

independently

well you okay what i don’t your tone of

voice is the only thing that’s

like why is that worth remarking upon

because that’s i’ve

seen whatever you use that’s fine that’s

and it looks the same

the self-portrait and it’s just i mean

it’s

hypnotic it’s almost

kind of drawing me in yeah

yeah well it’s and hey think of it that

way that people

you really draw people in into the the

dark void that

that is knowing you all right so what

else is planning do we have

do we have something i j okay yeah let’s

get that door real quick

okay oh hey

mr hmm thank you i couldn’t remember

his name at all i know and you always mr

jeff

hi up yep i see you brought

i can you i don’t i don’t know what that

is

it’s just it looks like it looks very

wet

i think part of it looks like it’s

falling apart and it’s very goopy

is that a food or is that like a is it

like a toy is that your phone

just is it alive yeah it’s just more

like a

like a well that’s the only way i can

describe it is that it looks like a glop

i don’t know what a glop is but i mean

that’s the only thing that could

describe this

okay so we’re going to put a bowl right

under that okay that’ll catch so you can

we’ll just put that with the other

oh it needs to be i guess it needs to it

needs to be in rubbing alcohol

okay uh okay but it’ll seek it out

itself oh so we don’t have to worry

about that

okay okay cool so let’s just put that

over

there um maybe next to the deviled eggs

i guess i um if we were i don’t know if

we’re

eating this thing or i don’t know if

this thing is supposed to be eating us i

guess i don’t really know what the

dynamic here is i think a lot of this

party starts out that way though usually

right like we don’t know what’s gonna

happen that’s kind of the thrill of it

um

but uh so mr jeff you know him from

uh he’s your continuing education high

school teacher

is that right uh no my continuing

education teacher is

uh ref okay

okay i i guess i got yeah it just rhymes

and that’s all

jeff was the guy who pickpocketed me

three years ago mr jeff

right and then he he called uh

the information in your pocket and then

you guys kind of laughed it off and made

friends over it

yeah well we’re not friends we’re sort

of scorned enemies but i think

every party needs that dynamic that’s

right that’s right

because for you well like you said with

every story you have to have conflicts

when you’re gonna have good guys and bad

guys i mean imagine a party where it was

just good guys

yeah that that sounds like it could be

frustrating i guess well just boring

yeah i i guess i guess i’ve been to a

lot of parties where people are just

friendly and kind and your parties are

always

like they hate they always make for

great stories kind of like you’re

that’s the dream all of your date

journals it’s all about which wow

everyone’s really getting into your your

date journals and your score keeping

oh hey and they’re all placing their own

bets for

what’s gonna happen tonight yeah i

didn’t real who’s that who’s the bookie

did you hire like a bookie to like

handle betting on my life

that’s kind of badass yeah well

i mean it was gonna be ronnie the rager

but it looks like his dad

ah once again i don’t know how that’s

gonna play out

uh but yeah it looks like ronnie the

ragers is taking the bets

um giving up bags of something

for for certain people okay um

yeah that’s great okay uh

hey casey come on in

hey hey i want to thank you i know i

hate dr london i know you feel nervous

about inviting like the boss

over but

yeah just on i wanted to make a good

impression

hey casey anthony what’s up

what up girl yeah oh and i see

you brought napkins also you didn’t

bring any food

or anything just the napkins that’s

awesome

oh hey no okay you did pull a deviled

egg out of your pocket i like that trick

uh yeah yeah i guess to wrap that in a

napkin

probably yeah so if you’ve got i guess

more of those deviled eggs in your

pocket in your back pocket i guess you

can put those over there

so yeah just go they’re playing twister

you know harry

you and harry go back a while go talk to

him they’re they’re playing twister over

there

yeah i forget how casey anthony and

harry styles

really get along yeah well i i almost

feel bad like

saying that because they get along a

little too well like they kind of amp

each other up

yeah like they’re they they kind of like

push each other like they keep daring

each other to go further you know

and it gets a little escalating dares

yeah not

great no oh it looks like taylor’s

really going nuts at the twister

okay really incorporating the movie

oh man okay and fisherman dave is now

hammered

he’s uh just slamming around

throwing fish which once again those are

not fresh

uh okay all right great

great i guess yeah i guess i don’t want

a sign of a good party yeah i mean

they always say it’s not a good party

unless an old fish gets thrown around

yeah and that’s sort of like how i’ve

judged all of my parties in the past

my birthday parties as a kid uh my

graduation party

my um my white bar mitzvah

that’s a bar mitzvah just because we

were jealous that

that jewish people got bar mitzvahs so

yeah that’s right

and you had to adopt the same name yeah

because

once the jealousy was that deep even

though it was like pretty

insensitive culturally it was awful but

i had to do it because i was so angry

yeah yeah and i mean that’s we all have

our ways of dealing with teen angst

for you you were 43 at the time

but like yeah just my my my young adult

you know my teen-ish a you know

you know right after the teens i would

say you know back when i was still young

it was

fairly soon after the teens uh

but yeah you i mean it was a like you

know

just despite all the if we overlook all

the

religious and cultural aspects it was

really fun

yeah the balloon animals again

fish being thrown old fish being thrown

around by fisherman dave

yeah which i think that might be i think

that might actually be where that saying

comes from now that i think about it

because i have heard that dozens of

times for years

like it’s not a good party until an old

fish is being thrown around

but now that i think about it i think

that’s usually fisherman dave telling me

that

after he’s been throwing around an old

fish

i no that i thought i feel like i hear

it everywhere though like i think i

heard it in like a like a zales

commercial it was in parks and rec i

thought

yeah no yeah oh that’s right i think

april

yeah that that has to be right like

april maybe maybe april and andy’s

wedding i think

it gets brought up a lot and the wedding

reception i like i don’t remember

like all the specifics of it but yeah i

feel like that was part of it there was

there’s an old fish

yeah yeah that’s right that’s amazing

yeah but but it could be one of those

things like

maybe it was just part of the culture

like it it happened to be happening in

your world your smaller world at the

same time yeah

parallel almost like um

finding nemo and a shark’s tale mm-hmm

yeah almost but uh is that

is that everyone you’re expecting it oh

okay i guess not

um is there someone else you’re

expecting

can i i don’t think so i mean

dr london did you have someone

i’m trying to think if if there’s anyone

i know i i try to keep people away from

this party like i tell people not to

come

because i know that you’re very

particular but uh okay okay okay

oh oscar the grouch okay oh

oscar the grouch well honestly

well well oh no i

can’t believe you’ve shown your face

okay no oscar come down come down come

now come down yeah that’s right you hide

your face

in your little trash can body hey and

it’s not that little it’s

fine size of trashcan body um

so karen why don’t you go back to the

you go mingle a little bit i’m gonna

oscar and i you know we talk business uh

he’s really

um he’s works in the administration at

the hospital okay yeah i’ll i’ll just go

back into the living room hey maria

yeah no you gotta clean up what you spit

out

yeah so oscar i know we were talking

about the bonuses for this year

and uh i just feel like i like you know

for all the hospitalists we’ve done our

part to

uh really bring things along you know

like i for one have brought up forward a

few

measures that i think you’re saying

really annoying people harry you gotta

dude this is like an adult

party you can’t be acting like a little

teen dude i know you’re my cousin

but like you’re you’re hanging with some

big shots some of the biggest

people in the city ronnie the ragers

here

all right so you gotta you gotta be a

little cooler dude no one wants to be

with you

i’ll just get back to twitter start

twisting

sorry oscar i didn’t mean to bring up

all the work stuff while we were here

yeah yeah yeah come on come on and enjoy

um

twister yeah if you like if you feel

like you might be limited in that game

but sure

um all right so we’ll play uh

sorry about it about yelling at harry in

front of everyone he just doesn’t get it

he doesn’t

get his place you know yeah he’s just

i mean it’s he’s so much people who like

that they do they’re like oh it’s

do everything for the band let’s you

know let’s really put our time in and

you it’s it’s just such a one in a

million shot to make it in that industry

so you’re like

you know you want to encourage the art

but you also

it’s frustrating to watch um

i guess failure in action i i’m sorry

failure combined with ego

i guess that’s really what it comes down

to well with

with harry yeah all right i mean i i

feel like that has to be everyone do we

wanna

you said there was like a big thing we

were gonna do a big surprise

do you wanna yeah well um

is it a game okay i’m sorry sorry it’s

it’s

it’s a yes dinosaur yes okay

so come on in okay and that’s part okay

and so did you dylan if you could cue

the music okay

all right and cameron if you want to get

in the middle there okay

hey this is so exciting

all right and fisherman dave yes yes

keep it up

string those lights along the net okay

and if we can all sing the uh bachelor

party

song okay you know it’s that month okay

and

we

deviled eggs in a vodka

in a bucket every year every year

please wow

you know and that song gets more

coordinated every year

uh what’s well i love the remix like i

felt like it had a real hip-hop

vibe to it yeah yeah and it’s

it’s great because we you know it it

sounds so coordinated

and you know which it should be because

we are all reading off

the printouts right here uh we all know

how to

well i think we all know it by heart by

now yeah

at this point yeah it’s this and the

national anthem and whatever

okay um so really you know we got

uh flotsy here doing the flotsy dance oh

ronnie the rager he’s over he’s just

texting on his phone

still taking codes yeah everyone’s here

screaming ronnie you don’t have to take

coats anymore

and you can put them down you don’t have

to hold the whole pile of coats

just dropped them yeah no are they okay

just okay i guess i

that’s not really what i meant by you

can put them down as you can just throw

them on the ground but i guess that’s

what we’re looking for

the glob does look like it’s searching

for something or someone

um i don’t know if anyone has hand

sanitizer with them

or okay um

all right uh yeah sorry harry

styles and taylor if you could both just

cool it i

i know you both are just eyeing that

guitar but no

no guitar and they’ve all i also see

that you

guys are sort of like competing in

twister

and i just feel like it’s not really

that competitive of a game i’m not even

really sure

how you can like be aggressive about it

but y’all are

i mean well it’s harry trying to

incorporate somehow you gave taylor a

black eye

you can’t do that isn’t it not this

hour i know that it was your knee that

did it on accident and that’s twister

and if she didn’t want to play didn’t

want to get a black eye then she

shouldn’t have been playing

hardcore twister i get all that you

can’t give people black eyes just

cool it oh all right i mean dr london

now that we’ve got this like party going

are you ready to get out of here

yeah yeah because the best part of the

party is you want to

leave whenever it starts to get going

and then come back whenever it’s

really going well i mean i was just

thinking like our our duties

were to host the party i think we’ve

done a successful job at that

yeah so no i’m gonna go like catch a

movie or something

yeah yeah uh i’ve heard the ronnie the

rager biopic is

really good yeah i’m

javier bardem is playing ronnie the

rager

okay okay yeah let’s go for that um

so see see you everyone uh sally

goodbye uh all right

um yeah so anyway uh and by

digital in the hose my name is dr london

smith.com

dylan do you want to come to the movie

yes yeah you can come to the movie too

man

do you know do you know skrillex or

tiesto could you invite them to the

movie too

nope okay sweet okay

uh all right uh so that’s been um

oh and by the way this party of course

is uh affiliated with the jock doc

podcast patreon so

everyone here raise your glasses well

raise your uh deviled eggs yes to the

patreon that’s right okay and uh

we’ll see you guys

but also witnesses did you know my hose

you