Hello you are about to listen to comedy

podcasts

none of this is medical advice if you

need medical advice or medical care

please contact your doctor welcome to

the jock doc

podcast featuring dr london

smith covet is red covet is blue

happy valentine’s day from the jock dock

crew

introducing your host dr

london smith.com

hello yes uh we have a reservation under

the name

dot com no no not

not that dot com did you make the

reservation i didn’t make the

reservation okay

so i’m sorry to explain uh sorry the

full name i guess if you need that to

narrow it down i’m dr londonsmith.com

of the jock doc podcast yeah yeah okay

and this is our producer cameron of

course hi hi yeah

no you i don’t think they need to know

my name i don’t know why

the host would need to know my name but

that i guess you can

just sort of right um blather that out

any time you want that’s

well i just so okay i also see that uh

did you join the house he’s already set

up in the corner there yeah

all right so we

i mean we’re ready to sit yeah no i

like you know for a vaccine-only

restaurant i feel like

this is the first time i’ve felt safe in

a long time going out to eat

this is the first time i’ve been to a

restaurant in like a year

yeah but for you it’s not like you just

you’re boycotting restaurants

yeah one boy caught in the insides of a

restaurant yeah or the outside

yeah like the immediate vicinity of a

restaurant but

you know today we we’re both kind of

branching out a little bit and i think

that’s healthy to do

and that’s only just because i think

like

uh the world’s so crazy these days

that i think like like maybe we should

like

get out more and so like maybe instead

of going to a restaurant all the time

and all these people are like

like drinking and eating like what

happened to going to parks

yeah doctor what happened to it i’m not

dr london

sorry what happened to it so people do

still do that where are the parks

okay i have i’ve told you this before

they are outside

uh but anyway let’s get to the table

thank you

hey i’m breaking my my uh boycott

right now for you because you wanted to

do this right

okay this is what is what is the special

occasion here uh

well i just i have some well for one

thing

we we have our dates well let’s get

seated before i get into it before i

unpack

okay you know okay yes thank you thank

you

sir thank you yeah here take this oh hey

if you could take

this uh excuse me uh

i don’t know if there’s a mix-up or

something you guys sitting down is this

you guys supposed to be here yeah so

we made reservations here for this booth

oh that’s really crazy and we couldn’t

see

you you’re i mean you’re kind of under

the

table right now do you want to do you

want to come out from under the table so

we can actually like see you a little

bit

you know what okay yeah yeah that that

makes sense you guys just push that cobb

salad over that’s fine sit down

okay hey how’s it going he says i’m

doing solid like there’s only one but

there’s a

ton of cobb salads right yeah okay yeah

the seat or uh if you want

um just like make sure not to do

anything with it i’m i’m waiting on

somebody so

okay oh that’s oh that’s we’re actually

yeah

i was just i’m like expecting someone so

i don’t know if like

justin just so you guys know you might

have to you might have to leave

or you know yeah totally yeah we can

shuffle we can

so we’re actually waiting for somebody

to

for waiting valentine’s oh my god that’s

so cool

so maybe we can maybe turn this into a

bit of a triple date if you don’t mind

i’m honestly very okay with it okay i

mean

london are you okay this dude seems cool

right he was hanging out under the table

he had a bunch of cobb salad

yeah and he’s got a sort of a tent set

up in there as well

made out of i guess the the napkins

um shirt yeah i guess

i kept stealing them off the tables on

the way to the bathroom

right i don’t think you have to steal

them i think you just probably have as

many as you want

i don’t napkins i don’t know like you

don’t know the rules

i i didn’t ask i know this is terry over

here he’s gotten me a bunch of water

but you know other than that i i’m too

scared to talk to most of these people

okay

so it’s not i know i i do notice terry

that you pointed out is not dressed like

the other waiters is this

is this like a someone you know that you

brought along to to give you water

yeah he’s just sitting right next to

that like soda thing with the water

thing and i’m just like dude terry

fill this up for me oh so you called him

terry

yeah okay you met him right now okay

okay this is all making a lot more sense

okay

but i mean dr lynn we should probably

get to know our new

friend here what what’s your name sir

i’m doug

i’m doug doug spritz oh hi hi

doug uh my name is dr london smith.com

and this is

uh producer cameron we actually have

sort of a podcast

that we do oh my god so like all the

websites named after you

yes uh well after sort of after the

podcast

are all are you oh i’m sorry are you

mr.com

or i guess not dot govs that’s not you

but like

yahoo.com is that you too it’s there’s a

lucifer

or is that your family okay all right

i’ve never

even considered this but this makes so

much sense he loves doing this whole

like dot-com thing

and dr london you’ve been hiding i mean

you’ve got google money backing you

apple money backing you all these

dot-com

sites are getting royalties off that

yeah well it’s i i look i don’t want to

say that i come from a place of money

because you know

i’d like to think that i’m separately

pretty self-made like

you know i is your dad john.com

yes okay uh he’s

he has gone by that name what why do you

oh my god

that’s the creator of the internet right

that’s the guy okay

yeah joncom yeah yeah he died in that

skiing accident

allegedly i was broken up not that

i was sorry to hear that i’m sorry about

your loss dr london you do you think

your father is still alive

secretly i look there’s

look whenever there’s so much and i

don’t want to say

money but whenever there’s whenever

there’s some wealth and there’s

controversy

whenever there’s a big system making

everything happen

then sometimes someone could

get into an accident but really they are

trying to bring up a false

or sorry a new identity and uh a new

internet so you think your identity your

father’s still alive and he’s just

intentionally ignoring you like he’s not

reaching out to you on purpose

yeah you mean ignoring me because of how

much i reach out to him

yeah so you do reach out to him

and he responds messed up he doesn’t i

wouldn’t

okay respond is a strong word i

no you know i guess he does respond so

like i’ve i’ve sent letters

and then they’ve come back because they

don’t like have the right address or

something

so i guess that that’s him communicating

to me that he affirms my

words you think like if you get a

magazine in the mail or something you

think that’s your dad

like sending you clues or is that what

you’re trying to get at well i’m

uh that as well but no i was just saying

whenever i send out a letter to him

he sends that same letter back to me

just to let me know

your words matter so much i want you to

hold on to them

because i’m guessing he can’t okay yeah

uh-huh this is this wow this seems dark

it’s it’s sad is what it is don’t feel

bad

don’t feel sad for dr london apparently

he is just

flowing he’s rolling in it in that

that’s

nash i mean

like i said i you know i really i

studied hard i applied myself and now

you know we just have this this podcast

to educate people and that’s really what

what i’m about

well i commend that and i am

glad to hear that your father is alive

and well and i’m sorry

for your uh sad relationship with him

and i’d love to borrow some money

oh man i would love that that’d be

awesome are we float are we floating

that right now

no no okay maybe we can we can switch

over to

uh doug tell us about yourself what do

you do i’ve yet to pay for

any of these cobb salads so i’m just

floating that

how how long have you been here

like uh i don’t know terry how long i’ve

been here

all right stop it terry

oh man he’s rolling his eyes at me again

uh

two i can’t really looked up two weeks

yeah i was gonna say some of the salad

it does not look fresh if it smells

i’ve gotten used to it and yeah if

that’s gonna

i’m sorry if that’s an issue we can get

these maybe taken

like some of the older ones we can get

taken but we gotta leave some of them

so doug what do you do for your you know

your day job

you know you’ve heard i’m uh i’m a

doctor

he’s a doctor i’m kind of a

philanthropist as well as a

sort of producer on the side uh i used

to like

uh i used to sorry um

be in electronics i was a manager over

it over at best buy

oh okay yeah you guys you guys got best

buy where you’re at

yeah yeah i mean i’ve definitely been to

a been to a best buy

okay so you you you say like

you used to do that as in pre-restaurant

you

that and they pre-restaurant me yeah

that’s kind of like a different

i guess that’s a lifetime ago they’re a

little upset

honestly they weren’t happy they they’re

they seem

they must be kind of polite in that

they’ve let you

stay here for this long i don’t know

that they know that i’m here i didn’t

inform anybody

if somebody in a blue polo walks in the

door let me know

i gotta get back under this table when

you say

they are you referring to the best buy

employees

or are you referring to the employees of

this restaurant if any of these people

work

at both best buy and this restaurant i

need to know that as well

yeah you’re screwed yeah

i’m i’m don’t know what i’ll do okay

yeah so i mean i think that probably is

the case like they don’t know you’re

here

they just see this sort of continuously

growing pile of cobb salad bowls

that that sort of evolves over time i

thought about trying to order something

different

i was looking over the menu a bunch but

i just went with cobb salad every time

it’s a

a winner that’s a good choice speaking

of which do we want to get an order in

because i

no i don’t think yeah it’s actually

getting really close to the time that

dates are going to be appetizers okay

okay yeah

yeah my dad’s my date’s supposed to get

here soon too

yeah in my date i mean i mean it’s

actually a little

late now like they should be here any

minute they should be here any minute so

let’s just get the abs now and that way

when it’s here

they can have something to eat already

at the table we don’t have to wait yeah

all right so i’m going to get

the terry can we get can terry

is tear okay well his name tag says uh

jonathan do we um does he prefer terry

terry just like take the order dude

okay don’t be weird about this um

okay uh cameron what are you what are

you getting terry is so awkward

terry can you can you turn around can

you turn

do you see the way he turned around it

was so weird

dude he doesn’t know what to do with his

hands he’s just like putting his hands

inside oh my gosh she’s being kind of

mean guys

me and terry go back we’re fine don’t

worry terry i love you

like a brother and a sister at the same

time

he seems to just mostly stare at you

when you talk to talk to talk at him

really i don’t want to say talk to

him well he shouldn’t be i told him to

turn around come on dude

okay now you can turn back around terry

we’re gonna have uh what’d you say

you’re gonna have oh well now he’s just

turning around

you can stop sir you can stop turning

around that’s okay

honestly if he can write it down while

spinning that’s fine with me

okay keep spinning sir um okay i want

some of these

tuna holes you know the little they’re

like little fried donut holes but

they’re chock full of tuna and then

they’re they’ve got some glazed tuna

sauce on top of it

i’ve had those seven times uh since i’ve

been here and

gotta say good choice oh so i’m gonna

get those

and then i’m gonna go ahead i’m gonna

get no

olives with that okay

yeah i’ll go ahead and um do you guys

mind if i order a few

things just for the table i’ll yeah

sure man you’re paying for it right it’s

on you

this is

um yeah company card company card you

want to order for this table right

yeah for our the one we’re sitting at

for this one not that one because those

people already have food

okay so hey terry can you get these cobb

salads out of here too man come on

they just been sitting here my friends

say they smell bad

well i think i don’t think they smell

bad you could leave a couple of them

i’ve been kind of snacking on some of

these

like they’re old okay they look old but

you know it’s nature i don’t trust that

blue cheese

yeah well when it turns blue yeah um

so so anyway yeah it started his ranch

terry to get started uh

see i’ll go ahead and i’ll get some

bologna cake uh

some pickled corn dogs but hold the

pickle

um let’s see garlicky hold the dog too

actually can we hold the dog on that too

i’m trying to watch my way well can you

have the dog on the side

just cause i you know i like to snack on

a little bit

um some velveeta and ketchup on ritz

crackers

let’s see what else on the menu um mini

carrot dogs in a blanket

uh chicken feet ham and cheese cubes on

triscuits

you’re ordering all of these well it’s

so that’s why

yes it’s for the table it’s not just for

me and our dates are coming

i don’t want it yeah but i don’t think i

don’t think six people need

you know 30 40 appetizers

we can share something with terry if you

want some terry if any

you want any of this just grab some so

just

like i’m seeing things and i just maybe

it’s one of those things where you

shouldn’t order or shouldn’t go shopping

when you’re hungry

but do you wanna you wanna take our

table and then

push it together with those people

uh just so we have enough room for all

the appetizers

just so there’s more yeah more room and

more people like eating it

okay yeah well velveeta on crackers it

travels well so you could take that home

after

so oh yeah so let’s get that to go

blended

and then let’s go ahead and just take

the table we’re just going to press it

over sorry excuse me excuse me i hope

this is all right so you can have like a

birthday party okay

knocked a cob salad in my lap

yeah i’m so sorry it’s fine it’s we just

need the space we’re doing like 30 to 40

appetizers

we

now we’ve got now we’ve got the space

okay

um all right so uh oh sorry and to drink

i will have a hot chocolate with cheese

please

i’m so nervous yeah i know it for our

dates

oh my god do you want to doug did you

want a nap

it’s on us uh everything you got

sounded pretty good

okay so we’ll get to it uh yeah let’s

double everything

yeah and those like uh those little

those little cheeseburgers

that are actually uh not cheeseburgers

that are cake i want those okay oh

cake burgers you cut it in half it’s

cake

yeah dude that’s so crazy that is

something’s not cake and then you cut

into

it and it’s cake that’s why that’s why i

came to this place i follow him on

youtube

wow yeah i mean i only came here just

because it’s the only vaccinated

restaurant in the city

mm-hmm well uh

i actually have been here since before

they put that

into play so oh so

i mean before but i’m definitely

quarantined i guess like i haven’t gone

anywhere

two weeks i would say that’s true but

that seems pretty safe

uh but you had said you’d been here for

two

weeks but i feel like they made that

change at least a month ago

so you’ve you don’t know how long you’ve

been here

uh you never yeah i’ve you know my phone

died

it died yeah that makes sense you didn’t

bring a charger with you i didn’t bring

a charger there’s not an

outlet anywhere near here i asked terry

he wasn’t any help

i see that you’ve you’ve made some some

marks on the wall

here kind of like people do in prison

when trying to

mark the days is is that what this is

oh yeah for yeah that’s exactly i’ve

broken four forks doing that but

i didn’t think to count them all up

right

that’s the hardest part of tallying is

the counting yeah

yeah i’ll lose count like after five

but uh if i concentrate let’s see

you know it’s it’s all right we don’t

need to concentrate we know it’s been

okay okay

okay okay i got up to 60 but there was

more

no have have we figured out why

you’re staying here so long i know you

said you’re waiting for a date but now

i got somebody to come i got some heard

of coming now i’m trying to i’m kind of

doing the math here was

that was the date supposed to meet you

like a month ago when you first arrived

or did you come here a month in advance

to prepare if that’s what the tallies

say

then yes i’d follow those facts i’m

gonna stick to the facts of the tallies

the tallies are now infallible okay so

yes

yeah it is raw data so

okay i might have missed a few here and

there but yeah yeah yeah yeah

i mean uh dr london can i talk to i’m

gonna talk to dr london privately for

one second

so we’ll just scooch i’m sorry to all

these other people here i

just if you could take our spots for a

second

excuse me i’m gonna hop back under this

table yeah just go just see

if you could did you see how he scurried

down there that was a scurry he seemed

very comfortable strong scurry though

i’ve got to be honest i don’t think this

guy’s date is going to show up

it’s already been at least 30 something

days

don’t say that we don’t know like maybe

that’s just the kind of

person that he’s into someone who’s oh

someone who’s a little aloof

a month or more late yeah like

mysterious you know

some people are like some people are

really bad at remembering appointments

or yeah you know certain times of the

like they’ll be like oh it’s wednesday

whoops

you know and i mean she could be like

getting ready

too yeah that’s true that’s true because

i know sometimes girls take a while to

get ready

that’s that’s what i’ve read about that

yeah yeah

okay we can get back into it

that was really fun i’m glad we got to

talk about the

uh the our team our favorite teams

yes at uh the the dodgeball rally

swim team uh swimming the dodge

swimming in dodgeball it’s a new type of

triathlon

oh wow i hope that goes well for you

guys thank you it’s going to awful

it’s terrible but i don’t want to i’m

sorry i’m sorry

anyway i mean i mean dr lynn what do we

or what i mean

i mean

[Music]

your date like because i know you’ve

you’ve talked about some to me

me okay yeah yeah sorry cameron

um oh yeah just because you’ve mentioned

like you’ve really you really like her

and it’s

it hasn’t been that long but you know

it’s you’re excited for valentine’s

thing um

i mean it was pretty cute it’s kind of a

traditional meat cute i would say

at the bookstore oh yeah that’s adorable

we both reached for the same bathroom

handle

we were in the bathroom at the same time

and we had

it was like a single stall bathroom but

it was kind of dark it was very

complicated

and anyway so we were reaching forward

at the same time we were like oh excuse

me and we thought that was really funny

that like

two people at the same time like isn’t

that kind of

yeah i mean cosmic in a way like

it’s destiny as long as you guys had

washed your hands first and yeah that’s

adorable

it’s i don’t well i don’t have to do

that anymore that’s a whole

lot okay the sweat on my palms actually

have sort of antibacterial properties

wow that’s a doctor is that that sounds

awesome

he’s no that’s not really how but but go

on cameron oh yeah she

i mean she makes me laugh and she makes

me

sing songs about love dr london

well when you say she she makes you is

this

like a is it a bullying situation

this is like no thank you no no tell you

what to do

i could take a joke that’s why i’m

laughing so much it’s funny

i’m not i’m not dude i’m not like a

snowflake okay

i’m not like gonna get a fun dude when

someone is like leave me alone

why are you in the bathroom like i’m not

gonna be like this kind of guy like i

can take a joke

you know yeah that’s just me i’ve had no

judgment on anyone

you sound like a good guy it’s

you know the amount of gifts i’ve been

leaving her recently

i think really really enforced the idea

that i am a good guy

and she must on her porch gifts or

gifts or in her phone

her phone porch well it was its gifts

gis on her porch i was printing them out

frame by frame they don’t work that way

well no

no have you ever buy do you buy them

like a flip book i was about to say have

you ever done it like a flip book

i haven’t you’re right you got me it’s

sort of unbelievable

to me that someone hasn’t printed out

frame by frame

that gif of michael jackson eating

popcorn and then done it like a flip

book for their sweetie

like i it’s 20 21 i feel like everyone

is doing this right

yeah too bad you know it’s valentine’s

day now otherwise people could

do that yeah for next year for next year

um

so would so you said that you’d leave it

on her porch so it sounds like

i don’t know it makes me think of like

how a cat will leave

you know like a dead bird or a dead

mouse

at the porch in order to like you know

like say

look i did this look how are you proud

of me for doing this

uh is did you just just left it on the

porch and did you

like is there a back and forth

communication i guess is what i’m asking

like did she communicate back to you

no cause gifts don’t have sound so

they’re silent

okay but uh does she give does she give

you back

um i think that’s sort of that this is

where we get into sort of a complicated

territory with the concept of like

giving back because you know

she she gave me back the things that i

had given her but isn’t that just as

special as a gift

did you ask her to come here via gif i

did

yeah i used so okay all right there’s a

fun game i don’t think your date’s

coming my date’s definitely coming i

bought this suit just for it

of course the dates all right let’s love

my life and i

invited her to a date using like a

taylor swift gif

from the music video of you belong with

me when she’s like you know what how

taylor swift is so nerdy

and guys don’t like her um and that’s

really what the video is about because

her the guy she wants is really into the

popular

girls she wears t-shirts exactly it’s

like she’s such a dork and it’s

but people don’t realize that like

underneath that

is something special and so i sent that

gift to her i feel like she got the idea

and now we’re just gonna sit and wait

yeah which it’s it’s kind of weird it’s

actually been like we

i always say that we’re gonna be late

sorry can we get another round of uh

tuna holes extra chia sauce can you edit

it you blew through those

cream cheese and jelly sandwich and then

maybe some

some uh cut cheese and mayonnaise

yeah thank you you guys got winchester

toilets

no no no no you guys gotta try these you

guys got to try these you guys got to

try these

is is this a is this a drink

no it’s a food okay oh

and it’s like i i chew it through the

mouth

uh i’ve seen it done that way

okay okay i definitely do need to try

this majority of the time

and is it okay are they bringing it

around now is that

yeah check these things out okay they

make them real fast

okay i can blow these things out okay so

what we have here

is a pastry shell

and then just like kind of whatever

else they had back there so there’s like

some carrots i’m seeing just some

peels various peels uh a bone

so uh yeah man okay that’s good

okay they’re bringing over the lighter i

do want to mention

there is gluten like you say it’s a food

that we eat

and not drink but it doesn’t seem to

conform to a

shape uh it all fits in this little cup

like a like a toilet just like a toilet

don’t you

i mean i can’t argue with that you can’t

get some of those bad boys

yeah down the hatch

i told you right that’s good i told you

it hurts it hurts really bad

just can i borrow one of your napkins i

i’m not supposed to swallow it i’m

supposed to chew it like gum

well these are actually all i made a

mega napkin out of this one napkin

all these napkins so you can use that if

you want it’s about 40 napkins

okay it’s been a blanket i’ve been using

it

tucking myself in okay oh

okay well i mean dr london do you want

to talk about talk about your date some

or yeah yeah so actually so i know

um i don’t know i don’t always talk

about my

sort of romantic private life but uh

that’s

i don’t know it’s just kind of it’s i

found someone i guess is

is it so um wow yeah and it

you know it’s so uncommon to find

someone but uh anyway her her name is

uh tarfton fambringo

and oh yeah yeah you know

so she’s canadian obviously that’s

beautiful saskatchewan she’s an import

um and it’s very international that’s

pretty cool dr lynn very open-minded too

thank you yeah you know that i’ve like

i’ve been trying to work on that

yes yeah so i’ve i’ve been you know i’ve

been trying to be more open-minded about

you know recognizing nations canadians

people above above the border yeah

recognizing nation

basically i don’t i come from a family

that doesn’t necessarily believe in

other countries

and it’s it’s one of those traditional

things that like

i’ve you know when i went to school like

the movie theater

yeah yeah a lot like that so so whenever

i um

you know whenever i do this uh whenever

i meet people i’m

i’m having to be self-aware and say

if they have an accent and they’re from

another country

that’s okay and it’s not made up

so if that i know that might be pushing

some buttons for our listeners and i

don’t want to

sound crazy and whatever but that’s

i’ve had to be accepting in that way in

any case

so powerful um there’s this girl

and uh so we met at the uh

the well it was formerly an ice skating

rink

now it’s a fishing area

yeah um yeah because uh fish and skate

yeah efficient global warming yeah so i

should say they do still skate around

there but

i went in and then you know cut the hole

in the ice

well and doug makes a good point it’s

the reason they had to convert was

to this is because of global warming

right mm-hmm

i i assume i didn’t i know i’m not as

tough

as i sound so much better i’m not as

tight with them

mall scientists as you are yeah which

that’s what i majored in yeah mall

science

mall science yeah

so uh anyway so so i was you know

digging a hole in the eyes or

i guess drilling using one of those hand

drill things and she came up

and said you know i’m trying to try to

skate here but she said in one of those

crazy accents

and so i was like uh hey

yeah what what what are you um

and i’d so so there was a lot like i i’d

say for the first

few weeks of knowing each other i

couldn’t tell a word she said

uh just the the accent was so strong she

kept on saying

stuff like a and sorry

and i i like i i couldn’t get it i don’t

know

um oh so french i

french you know it’s i’m trying to be

open but i really don’t

know but i know that she was it sounded

like a

canada or canada something something

like that

i all i know is candido which is a yeast

infection

so that’s that’s kind of where i’m

coming from on this so

anyway uh so you just hear key words

that sound

like kind of medically words out in the

wild

and your ears perk up like a little

puppy that’s right

i mean you hear you hear something that

kind of sounds like

a yeast infection and you go oh

that’s right so i’m drilling and i hear

this yeast infection

and i’m like i’m starting to get really

pumped about it

uh yeah man anyway and so she comes she

says

please stop i think and then uh

we we start talking about yeast

infections i think i

once again it it might have been all

one-sided uh

but then we went out to eat and stuff

anyway

so what a few weeks yeah we’ve been

getting along great

um she uh she showed me that you can

actually do the same kind of ice fishing

outside

which i had no idea that people did that

are you catching fish

in there uh

i didn’t take mall science i don’t know

yeah so i

so cameron will usually

bring in because he takes it upon

himself to do a lot of things at the

mall he’ll bring in

fish and he’ll supply the uh the ice

rink with

fish wow i can’t say that there there

are any at the start okay okay so i

can’t just go

i can’t go to any mall and do this

like i can’t tell you i can’t like prove

a negative that that doesn’t make sense

to me

but dr london if he doesn’t know like

the objective right answer

he struggles with using basic human

knowledge and common sense to figure out

the answer

that’s dr london sticks with what he’s

studied he has not studied malls you

know

not like cameron for sure like i could

say like dr

london um is uh

is the last mall we went to really a

bread factory

and you would have to say i don’t know

because you’re not you didn’t study that

even though it’s an absurd question that

anyone else would be able to just figure

out with common sense

that’s not dr london’s specialty unless

they have a sorrow and then it’s like

they make bread there

that is true sparrow

or panera however you say it so

so anyway so what led up to this

date this date night was we were

uh she and i you know

me and uh tarfton we were out

and we were kind of in this outside area

it was really

beautiful there was a statue and stuff

uh which they were tearing down

and then you know she she said something

about

her mom getting a colonoscopy

and i once again just cameron said my

ears perked up

perked right up uh yeah and then and my

song was playing and it was this

strange moment and you know the song it

goes you know you’re the best

around nothing’s gonna ever keep you

down

uh i’ll also associate that with

colonoscopies

yeah and so that’s our song um

that was playing at the skating rink as

well and

maybe someday we’ll dance do it that’s

so

cute yeah so anyway um that song was

playing and it was such a picturesque

moment so i got down on one knee

and you know i said like uh you know

speaking of colonoscopies uh colorectal

cancer is actually the third most common

cancer in the united states

yeah and so she she covers her mouth for

a second she seems like

uh her face seemed a little confused but

mostly like excited tears were kind of

starting to fall you think you’re

turning her on at this point

oh no did her diet her dad die of

colorectal cancer and she started crying

i not that she mentioned but like

and maybe i just maybe my view was weird

from being on one knee

you know but any uh so maybe it just

looked like she was crying

anyway um so now i said

well uh so if we look at the

gastrointestinal system there’s actually

an important concept to understand

namely what was that

did you pull out a chart you start

showing her the colorectal system

uh yeah okay okay is that okay i’m just

that’s just how that’s a that’s a it’s a

move i haven’t heard of that one before

yeah i would say that’s a legitimate

move

yeah yeah i mean and you have to

understand

coming from dr london this is a huge

step yeah

i ain’t knocking it no because i ain’t

tried it right

yeah so i have the poster out and i’m

saying so there’s an important concept

symptoms will look different depending

on what location within the digestive

tract

problem occurs so if there’s bleeding

there’s likely to be anemia

which is you know low blood count uh but

a red blood cell count specifically but

there’s only frank blood if that

bleeding occurs very close to the end of

the tract

in the left colon and anus and so i

pointed that on the diaphragm diagram

and she’s still huge mistake

dr london i i didn’t want to say

anything but you can’t like on a first

date bring up anus oh i thought you were

mad that he said

diaphragm instead of diagram i was like

that’s not a huge mistake he’s fine no

that’s just dr london i

i that’s just how he talks but to me

it’s just like

bringing up anus so quickly dr london

too

forward too forward we’ll see i

i guess i guess i just thought things

were going so well it’s just you know

it’s a medical term so i was

anyway so but then i said of course that

yeah

but blood gets degraded if the bleeding

starts earlier in the digestive tract so

stool may just look darkened or black as

a doctor you got

to be saying anus all the time anyway so

it makes sense to me

that’s true you want to get her used to

sort of the life she’s buying into

yeah you’re throwing around anus you’re

throwing around like anal glands

yeah oh i’m turning around all the time

chucking it yeah

so i’m you know i’m saying that the the

stool may look

darker blackened if it’s if there’s

bleeding in the right colon or higher

so that’s you know i was like telling

her that’s that sort of framework to

bear in mind going forward

uh and then she at that point she’s

uh she does seem confused and a little

horrified

and so i i’m thinking like maybe this is

such a

like a an empty hole where knowledge

should be

and she’s just realizing yeah so yeah

oh and i should say also that at this

point it’s hard to be confronted with

your ignorance

yeah yeah and i know girls were really

impressed by that

uh especially in that kind of setting so

and i guess everyone else there was too

because people were bringing out their

cameras and stuff because i was kneeling

and i had like a

a little a toy in my hand that i was

kind of fiddling with that i was holding

up in front of me

uh it came in a little box but anyway so

um

so i said of course everyone uh

over the age of 50 years old is that

increased risk for colorectal cancer and

this is why people begin to undergo

colonoscopies at that point in life

though um you know even at that you know

at that moment

specifically uh recommendations are

shifting towards 45 years old for

colonoscopies

i’m not always great at reading people

but i feel like she was really getting

into that so

i was about to say she’s got to be like

on fire at this point right

she’s losing it yeah like she was like

tears were streaming down her cheeks and

you pull

you’ve pulled out all the classic tricks

yeah

it’s a statue it’s it still sounded like

she was

maybe waiting to hear something else

like maybe waiting for me to change the

subject so i

i was like okay i guess i gotta i guess

i got to get a little bit more into

pathology

so i was like okay so colonoscopies are

done to look for edematous polyps which

are pre-malignant lesions so in other

words they have characteristics yeah

that make them predisposed to becoming

cancerous

villus adenomas in particular have a

higher chance of becoming malignant as

opposed to the tubular ones

the larger the size of the adenomas

polyps the greater the number

the higher risk of the cancer and and so

at this point

she is losing it has to be

yeah it was it was really hard to read

really down on one knee at this point

she well so she’s she’s got her face

her hands covering her face and she she

said

like is is this what i think it is and i

said i was like yeah well

yeah i what does it look like yes i’m

you know in my head i’m thinking finally

someone is getting

really excited about learning about uh

you know the digestive system

and cancer screening all of that like

it’s so have you tried this before

what have you tried this before with

previous dates

you run this by anybody before and this

is when it finally clicked with somebody

i don’t think that i don’t think i’ve

ever liked anyone enough

to do wow london really does play

like hard to get you know and it’s you

you’ve got to be really invested in

someone and so that’s what i mean that’s

why i’m excited to meet this woman i

mean it sounds like oh yeah

i feel honored to be here honestly i’m

glad you guys

sat down here and what’s crazy is you

know i’m not finished with the whole

story but

that was today that was actually today

that this happened

today so you asked her to come here

immediately following

this uh yeah well and you know spoiler i

don’t wanna

so so anyway i tell her also you know

inflammatory bowel disease whether

crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis

also poses an increased risk of

colorectal cancer with ulcerative

colitis having a greater risk so much so

that

these patients with ulcerative colitis

should begin surveillance colonoscopy

for colorectal carcinoma eight years

after they’re first diagnosed

uh family history of a first-degree

relative having colorectal cancer also

increases a patient’s risk

so that’s something to watch out for

with her mother you know getting uh the

colonoscopy

if something that’s kind of you maybe

yeah yeah

just just bear it in mind

yeah i was told her dietary factors can

influence this risk with a high fat and

low fiber diet associated with

a higher risk of colorectal cancer and

um

you know that then i did stop i

clarified because i

at this point higher than what

uh the a higher no one’s

no no one’s higher than me right now

buddy

you kidding every day when i say that

there’s a higher

risk it wasn’t saying like i know you’re

and i can see the smoke

yeah i don’t think that’s allowed but

i’m on board for it

oh well what uh what’s his name again he

hooked me up

yeah terry hooked me up what the [ __ ]

terry yeah

come on man yeah this whole time

two weeks or seven months i don’t know

what it says

i can’t i i lost count of the tallies

but you know

i could have used something terry

wow just when you say his name it just

he just piercing eyes staring at you

like with

with death he does not like you

is that what you see i see a rapport

that’s been built up over time that i

see love behind those eyes

and i see a friendship that’s gonna last

a lot last a lifetime

so when he doesn’t reply to you and he

just stares at you you think that’s sort

of like banter

i know what terry’s thinking and saying

and his

brain is oh so he doesn’t even have to

speak and y’all just are kind of in sync

like that that’s awesome

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah right now

right now i’m like terry what the [ __ ]

and he’s like uh actually

um sorry dude i wish that i’d let you

know i didn’t know you’re into that

thing

and you know we’re cool about it i’m

over it

okay thanks i hate

you know i hate to get back but like i

really want to share

what happened so so i’m so sorry i’m so

sorry

you know i’m on one knee i’ve got like

there’s a whole crowd that’s gathered

now like everyone’s got their phones out

there they’re recording it

um they’re losing it oh they’re they’re

so excited they’re cheering

and i’m like okay okay yeah great you’re

excited about medicine

i love that so i said uh the reason why

we screen with colonoscopy is because

colon cancer can grow a lot in the

abdomen before showing symptoms

so the disease can become relatively

advanced by the time it becomes

symptomatic

symptoms can be you know sort of

lesser things like black tarry stools

dark stools that are sticky from

partially digested blood

abdominal pain change in bowel habits or

unexplained iron deficiency anemia

but other signs and symptoms can include

abdominal pain caused by

partial obstruction of the intestinal

tract or peritoneal dissemination from

spread outside of the intestinal tract

colorectal cancer is actually the most

common cause of large bowel obstruction

in adults

and if that obstruction perforates the

bowel that can lead to

a peritonitis that is life-threatening

complication

patients may also experience weight loss

or blood in the stool if the tumor is

located on the right side

obstruction is unusual actually because

it’s its larger luminal diameter so the

large tumor can go undetected

a change in bowel habits from a tumor in

this location on the right side

would also be you know unlikely uh

but again occult blood in the stool iron

deficiency anemia

and melanoma are changes and so

terry can we get some more winchester

toilets please

and so at this point she was

she didn’t seem as happy

and terry can i get the muscle

not muscles the muscle are you trying to

get their bouncer over here

okay because i think it is a super

wrestler no it says on the menu it just

says the muscle and then underneath it

has a bunch of question marks

oh man so i think it’s like maybe a

mystery

a special sandwich or like an arnold

palmer but

muscle oh actually can we get this in

like an

arnold palmer format if you could just

get me the

muscle and sort of like convert it to an

arnold palmer that sounds really good

thank you for that suggestion doug yeah

just

add lemonade dude that’s all it is

muscle and lemonade

mmm the ultimate comment now london was

this the end of your

just incredibly long story in which he

proposes

no i sorry sorry i didn’t want to spoil

it oh

wait no okay okay i’m sorry

as i was saying she was kind of not

not she didn’t seem happy anyway so but

but i

you know i think she’s probably just

looks unhappy because she doesn’t know

the end

of this that i think she was fishing for

so if the tumor is located on the left

side that means there’s a smaller

luminal diameter so sense of obstruction

and abdominal pain are gonna be more

common uh

partial partial blockage can result in

alternating constipation diarrhea with

the narrowing of stools known as pencil

stools

uh frank blood and stool is also more

common with left-sided tumors

if a tumor is located in the rectum and

23 or 20 to 30 percent of them are

patients will more commonly have black

and tauris school tenesmus

and erectile mass leading to a feeling

of incomplete evacuation of stool due to

the mass

and she by this point she has

like started to back away from me a

little yeah she’s checked down

mm-hmm yeah you had her going and pumped

up for a second

and now she’s like you just said stool

too many times i think it’s lost on me

the words lost meaning so she’s just

lost

doug this happens every single time i

think dr london is afraid of success

stool stool stools he knows that’s the

key word that messes people up

why does he insist on bringing it up

every single time he’s on a first date

or just meeting someone

so i huh okay well that makes

so you know i was finally you know

almost done at that point

with with teaching her uh

so i said you know surgery is the only

curative treatment for colorectal

carcinoma cancer and

this involves cutting out a tumor

containing bowel as well as a resection

of regional lymphatics

the cea level should be obtained before

surgery as a sensitive marker for

recurrence

chemotherapy or radiation therapy will

depend on staging and follow-up will

vary among physicians but it is worth

knowing that

about 90 percent of recurrences occur

within three years after surgery so

adequate follow-up is important to

prevent this

so i tell this to her as she’s walking

away

and then i say like so we’re so what’s

the crowd doing at this point

um so a fair amount of them have started

booing

so oh wow okay yeah i mean i was like

okay well i i got on one knee because i

was kind of tired of standing and there

wasn’t a chair

fair and i’ve noticed that there’s not

enough chairs in parks

yeah yeah i see benches but i don’t want

a bench i want a chair

yeah so i got up and

then um i kind of just

was like okay like just yelling after

her like i guess

i guess we’re good for dinner then and

uh yeah so she’s she’s actually running

a little late

at this point yeah like pretty late

i think traffic’s probably bad or

something like it seemed like a bad

traffic day or something

well especially especially this time of

year you know

you know mid-february i feel like

everyone’s driving around a lot

um you know a lot of football games

maybe

great time to drive you know because

football

football just ended but people want to

party after the super bowl dr london i’m

kind of losing hope here

but no you know what you know let’s

let’s fill ourselves with some hope

let’s hear about doug’s date okay okay

okay

all right we’ve uh actually known each

other a while

but only reconnected recently

i’ve known her since since middle school

summer camp actually so it’s been a

while

we sat we stopped talking i got married

got divorced and then just i’ve recently

reconnected

and uh yeah it i’ve just you know been

so excited to finally

see her again and um yeah

just been waiting here she’s running

late as well

okay so she’s outside she’s running late

she’s just delayed man a few months late

yeah

she’s my she’s getting ready did she

always used to take a long time to get

ready

yeah in middle school man she used to

take hours to get ready

yeah at summer camp

okay so um she’s actually canadian as

well

yeah that’s actually crazy you’re

comfortable with that you’re like okay

with that

yeah yeah yeah yeah it was weird because

i go back to school

middle school and everybody was like i’d

be like i got a girlfriend and they’re

like

no you didn’t dude and i’m like yes i

did she lives in canada you gotta

believe me

yeah and uh you know it’s hard

it’s hard being a kid but yeah

i’ve been talking to her a lot recently

and you know

not recently because my phone died but

you know

before that yeah well does she know

like maybe if she if she like mixed up

the address of

the restaurant or something does she

know to

like is she sure that you’re here

because that maybe that could be part of

it

uh i’m sure she she she’s very intuitive

so i’m guessing that she could probably

figure it out i was kind of

been hoping that seeing as i did not

bring a charger

or there’s not an outlet in this booth

yeah that’s where i’m at i didn’t bring

a battery pack or nothing

yeah you didn’t want to move to a

different booth just in case she arrived

and saw this one unoccupied

yeah and i’ve like built like a little

thing underneath here i’m not trying to

move that out of there somewhere else

yeah you’re for it

yeah yeah that’s a good way to put it it

is kind of like a fort

i do feel a little bit like a kid in

there when i’m in my fort

it’s sort of a safe space oh man it

really is y’all could check it out if

you want to but there’s not a whole lot

of

room yeah i mean it’s a safe space but

there’s not a lot of

hopefully hopefully our dates won’t be

showing up while we do this but dr

london do we want to check out the

little

area before we go in there maybe let’s

get dessert to be on its way like i know

our dates are going to come but like

it’s

uh actually maybe we can ask the wait

like uh terry have you

seen maybe we just missed them

did someone uh they’re both well two of

them are

canadian um did that did you see one of

no that that’s the main distinguishing

feature terry

you’re canadian yeah that’s all i got to

that’s all i got

to go cameron what about yours was there

any other

like way for them to spot your date

uh yeah i mean it’s the hat really

okay oh so look out for a hat and two

canadians

well it’s like it’s the height of the

hat it’s i don’t want to say pharrell

height because that’s played out it’s

more like a jamiroquai hat

okay i do not understand the reference

but it sounds

tall jamiroquai is sort of the

90s version of pharrell

to clarify for any anyone here in this

restaurant at our table who doesn’t

understand that

hey i’ll quit eavesdropping the the cat

in the hat

would be another shirt that’s a tall hat

right there that’s a tall hat

real tall hat lots of leds you can’t

miss it

yeah so terry have you seen like mine

a tall hat with a lot of lights in it

or maybe a few no okay okay well in that

case um i’ll go ahead and order

let’s see if you could get me uh wendy’s

frosty a chocolate frosty with some

fries to dip it in it

is that yeah okay um

so they’ll just i think it’ll take a

while yeah actually

i want well can i actually get some

frosty to dip in the fries sort of the

reverse of that

it’s it’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a dietary

thing

okay thank you yeah yeah he’s allergic

okay

and if you could just bring me a if you

could bring me a bowl of whipped cream

i’m just going to tackle these leftovers

and just dip them in some whipped cream

i know so let’s climb under this table

huh see you guys later

i gotta stay up here but uh don’t touch

anything if you can avoid it there’s not

enough room

it’s not enough room for all three of us

oh you’re gonna okay

so okay so i’m gonna hold down the fork

in case i see any of our dates okay i’ll

i’ll let you know okay cameron

um look look at the he put up like star

stickers everywhere this is

beautiful and it’s oh my god he seems to

have

he doesn’t have an internet connection

or a charge to his phone but he does

seem to have a whole like computer

set up here like he and an espresso

maker

yeah here’s the thing

i you know i don’t think that doug’s

date is gonna show up

like i don’t want to break it to him but

what

no i mean you

again getting ready remember or what

about

you knows uh uh she had to get her like

tires rotated

right that can take some a little bit of

time yes

no it’s just you know after an hour of

waiting and uh

you know we got to espresso yeah

it’s supposed to be this cold i it’s not

it’s not plugged in oh it’s just an

espresso maker

right okay uh let’s

should we break it to him yeah yeah i

mean

okay cause cameron like we know our

dates are just late but

i gotta you know like months is a lot

longer than an

hour you know um

hour and a month and an hour is awesome

before we leave let’s um

let’s let’s write our names in the guest

book here yeah yeah

thanks for inviting me had a great time

in the floor sorry about the

mess okay

uh okay we’re just gonna do that okay

yeah man where’d y’all think what’d

y’all think that was

doug that was beautiful down did you

guys get a mat i’ve been snagging those

mints up front putting a little bowl

down there

oh i didn’t even let me okay let me get

one of those there you go

you are so hospitable and you’re just a

great andy’s a great guy

and i that what you’ve done with that

space is just wonderful

wow and and it’s you know

and any girl would be so lucky to have

yeah to share that space with you

and do a compliment do like a compliment

sandwich you know

and do they have those here

oh actually yeah can we get two

compliment sandwiches

subs get a house a children’s order for

me

a party sub please like one of those ten

foot long ones that you get at a party

can i can i get a children’s party sub

like a children’s ten foot party sub

okay all right okay

so okay do we who

okay yeah so is that so you got so like

i said any girl would be lucky to have

you know to share your space with girl

wow

i appreciate that anyone mia or whoever

wow mia ham yeah

you something about lettuce uh you you

you have great taste in salads no no say

you

let us into your space and that was

really nice and kind yes

i appreciate the salad compliment as

well but that’s also nice

okay and then the tomatoes

um i i fro from my head

to my toes i appreciate your company

this evening oh my god uh

i don’t even know what to say i’m

blushing like crazy okay and now to the

um

to the meat of it uh hold on your date’s

not coming your date might be dead

oh my god why do you say dead what are

you talking about

your date’s not coming he’s talking

about cole and ectorectomy cancer

well i i couldn’t make sense of what he

was talking about i have to assume that

she’s dead also just because

there were so many like negative

sounding words in the mix there

sounded whatever it was sounded fatal

but my hat girl my hat girl is

definitely going to come she’s just

late we’d see her coming from a mile

away and she’s

yet too i think she had to do laundry

probably

oh based on what she was wearing when i

met her i think she has to do laundry

because there’s no way that

that was the only thing she had you know

so maybe your date’s not coming either

my date’s coming

okay i wouldn’t buy all these salads for

no reason

your date’s not coming your date is dead

and damn

and but you’re all but your hair is

glowing today it’s so bouncy you have

nothing to contrast it against but i

appreciate that

it’s uh well no it’s i mean it’s a

glowing

and like some people would say it’s

unhealthy to have hair that glows

and like radiates light in that way and

i don’t know what you

what what you put into it like if you

broke a glow stick or something and

rubbed it in you know if you look

underneath here there’s some

glow-in-the-dark stars that i’ve just

been

using that you put in okay um

yeah you saw them under the ceiling

right yeah the ceiling meeting

the the under the table okay gotcha okay

um

all right with that do you wanna uh

i feel like the only way to really

finish this out would be

to uh and cameron i don’t know if

if you’re okay with us but i feel like

we should get a chore out of the way

you want to do that here now yeah i mean

just to

like they got bus boys um and dj dylan

is already

here so he’s got the wheel ready uh yes

so we can uh do you want to explain um

what you know the chore wheel to our

guest

at this table please get lost so so

basically uh dr london and i and the

years we’ve

been friends and business partners um

he uh

i usually say we but it’s really his

fault he let a bunch of chores a bunch

of things on our to-do list

pile up and so for the last

few months we’ve been trying to go

through this

chore list and just knock one thing off

the list and we kind of made it fun by

creating this fun

chore wheel which i brought a mini

version of the tour wheel here with us

you can see

adorable and this has all of our chores

on it all of our to-do lists that we got

to get done and we’re just going to go

ahead and spin it

and whatever it lands on we just got to

do it can you help us out with that doug

uh with the chores or the spinning both

yeah if i don’t just give that a tiny

tiny little

the tiny glove with tiny hand on it

to spin it okay okay i put the tiny

glove onto my fingertip

and spin the tiny wheel with the tiny

glove

okay there we go okay there it goes

there it goes there it goes there’s a

hell of a ball bearing in there

oh okay i did not want to do this one

uh but no good this is left over from

from last year i guess

uh we neglected to do this last time but

the chore

is complement your date

on their best feature wow that’s so

uh convenient that it landed on that

yeah that actually

it actually has been working out like

this a lot lately

that’s incredibly impressive it’s it’s

pretty good because

we because you know we don’t record

every chore that we do and so i mean

there definitely has been some where

it’s been like

uh like find the easter eggs and it’s in

like november

well i’m gonna go ahead and say it’s a

little uh

concerning if it’s a chore to compliment

your dates

so i don’t know if you guys wanna maybe

um and usually chore wheels have like

vacuuming or

clean the kitchen i mean it has that

like do the dishes

yeah okay okay okay make prank phone

calls to your grandmother

build elon musk cyber truck we have a

giant enterprise here that we’ve put

together

and to keep everything you know all the

plates spinning

we have to do this and one thing i

should add sorry and i

kind of realized one of the chores we’re

specifically supposed to stare into the

eyes

of the person on our left which is our

date

and um of course the compliments into

them

into their souls okay okay

okay so that’s what

i’m supposed to do so i’m just about to

turn i’m just looking at you dr london

i’ve got to pretend you’re my

pretend or should you say this to that

person

just to your date i guess whatever you

would think

to say to i guess okay

um all right hi tila tequila um

uh it’s good to see you again and uh

i love your jamiroquai hat and i was

wondering if i could borrow it

that was sort of the sort of the

intention of this whole interaction

wow so okay is that i mean do you think

i

did did i do it is that right yes i was

so nervous

oh my gosh i was so nervous doing that

oh you did so good

oh thank you okay it’s good to practice

yeah all right so i’m going to look to

my left and of course

uh so so terry

um thanks for sitting down finally i’ve

been invited

if i could look at your eyes real quick

okay you’re not big on eye contact but

i’ll

try to force through this um

so tarfton

uh i we’ve been through so much together

and um i

i feel like we’re really doing

great and i can’t wait for you to

be oh compliment the comment um uh i

love that you sound like a yeast

infection

compliment our nails girls love it i

love

that your nails look like they belong to

a yeast infection

nice yes that was good yes you crushed

it yes

nailed it nailed it yes nailed it

really what the hell you got tara to

give you a high five

that was that’s impressive yeah just

even the way you say his name he his

eyes dart at you

terry there’s a lot of goodness in those

eyes i’m sorry

it’s a playful menace okay i think

phantom menace is that but yeah um so

doug

uh do you wanna pay your look into the

eyes of

i guess uh well the way you’re

positioned i can’t tell if it’s

if it would have to be cameron or the

stranger next to you

uh cameron would you be comfortable with

being the stand-in deborah

yeah that’s fine okay okay

sorry sorry it’s to cameron he’s he’s

gonna speak oh it’s me

yeah it’s not gonna be you guys sorry

sorry about that

turn around lady okay i’m not talking to

you

good lord get some space thank you push

them away a little bit

okay deborah

deborah i cherish your penmanship

and you lied to me dog oh my god

i knew this is what happened wow wow

wait what’s happening are you wait

is she lied to me are you being

channeled the voice has changed

deborah what’s wrong with you are you

okay

yeah it’s just like whatever uh

yeah i’m i’m real sorry that i’m late i

was just getting ready

for a long time well that makes me feel

better to know that you lied to me

i am so sorry if i uh misrepresented the

truth in some way

if you could fill me in as to how that’s

good

that’s good assume no guilt assume no

guilt thank you

thank you you lied to me doug is there

anything you lied to her about

uh i’m i’m honestly at a loss i

did you lied to me in middle school

about the talent show

yeah we were supposed to be a team

you’re you’re right but i thought that

maybe it would sound better as a solo

rather than a duet i thought

i thought you wanted to sing islands in

the stream

as a as a solo you thought that would be

better

yeah i could do i can do both parts okay

yeah and you killed it i’m not gonna lie

you

you [ __ ] killed it dude thank you so

much

thank you so much i was practicing all

summer

yeah i can’t be too mad about that

deb i i honestly appreciate you taking

this so well

oh okay i’m sorry did i uh i mean i

tried my best i’m

i’m taking you lessons

that’s something i’ve been really trying

lately is that like i want the people

around me to almost

feel like it’s so real that they’re

playing a vr game

you know what i mean like that’s how i

real i want to be is that like my

friends are like oh my god is this

am i in a vr game right now because it’s

so real

i was ready player wedding like crazy

i’m really sorry about that yeah it

wasn’t great

it sounds like it hurts i mean my eyes

hurt

dr london are we i mean do you think

yeah i feel like we we did the chore

so so did you dylan i know you’ve been

kind of set in the mood here

for a while would you mind um you know

bumping it up a little bit

and uh sending it i guess well it’s a

mini chore wheel so i guess if you could

mini

um demolish it yeah and maybe play a

very

tiny very mini outro song

just the tiniest closing or uh

finishing the short wheel as in it

sounds small like the chipmunks or

like it’s uh short yes i want to leave

that up to dylan’s interpretation

i think i could be taking a number of

different letters

[Music]

well yeah great choice that was that was

extremely tiny thank you

that was great and on the fly like that

honestly i’m so

good no he’s he’s great at that so his

his laptop is smoking right now that’s

not good for it

i know that much that’s how hard he was

he’s that good

like it’s not it’s not good for most

laptops

like used by us but whenever he’s at the

wheel at the helm

the game has changed but i feel like

you know we’ve been here for a while and

at least one of our dates might have

passed away

so i’d say like maybe like doug you

should i’m sorry

uh you know if you guys want to take it

home

charge it for me bring it back to me i’d

appreciate that or if you want to bring

me a charger

or get an extension cord find an outlet

bring it to here

oh you haven’t even looked for an outlet

not no there’s not one underneath this

booth i don’t want to impose on anything

you haven’t explored beyond fellow

patrons

yeah and his his computer set up down

there

there was already like part of that must

have already been there

is what i’m assuming and so you didn’t

want to disconnect anything just in case

it

messed with the restaurants i can’t get

that to turn on either

uh so okay yeah so

so with that in my okay so you’re gonna

you’re gonna stay here i’m gonna

i’m gonna go ahead and get out of here

and i think

i guess do i do i have to check out um i

don’t want to

yeah no i’ll i’ll cover i’ll cover the

tab i guess um

oh my god just with the patreon so uh

are you kidding me with the amount of

money we’re making on this patreon

who yeah oh man yeah we can buy all the

dollars in the world you kidding me yeah

i haven’t started one of these worth it

worth it is what i’m hearing

so uh yeah so tutor um

yeah so mike my name is dr

londonsmith.com yes i’d like to pay this

bill

uh that’s our producer cameron of course

uh and uh

this has been uh doug actually yeah

doug before we leave um do you have

anything to

promote uh well

i don’t know if i have anything for

myself i haven’t made a twitter account

or nothing but i know this guy

keller knoblock on there he’s supposed

to be pretty funny

somebody was printing out tweets and

dropping them under the table

they’re pretty good and uh and i think

he was uh

i was real i was too scared to say

anything but two people sat down at this

table

and had a whole conversation about some

podcast called the 500 greatest films

podcast

and it sounded interesting and

informative

and entertaining so uh yeah that’s about

all

i have as far as new information

so you’re gonna download that podcast

the second your phone gets up and

running again right oh my god

yeah as soon as i get that thing plugged

in if you guys want to take that home

that’s still on the table you guys can

do that for me but yeah

mm-hmm perfect great yeah

all right so that was our guest uh at

the table

doug spritz uh that was our producer

cameron uh

thank you for serenading us throughout

the meal uh did you join the hose

[Music]

you’re the best

[Music]

my name is dr london smith.com and this

has been

the jock doc podcast see you

bye

[Music]

no one’s gonna ever keep you down

as you hold her in your arms you know

it’s too good to be true

surely there must be a catch you briefly

glance around

but somehow pigs are not flying and the

world is not ending

at least not discernibly within your

line of sight

surely this is the greatest moment of

your life

you hesitate to call it that though

remembering the day that you earned your

phd

that time that you climbed through the

sewers to acquire that shiny penny

and of course that really good hair day

in october of 1997

no this moment really does top them all

the embrace lasts only for a few seconds

however before she releases her hold

and you do the same hoping to hide some

degree of your enthusiasm

you may have been the smelling guy that

she agreed to cash in on a 50

bet but you came out of that with the

greatest riches of all

speaking of real treasure all along

don’t forget to leave a five star review

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