Oh hey kids no no you’re about to listen

to a comedy podcast

that means okay that none of this

medical advice

if you need medical advice or medical

care please contact your doctor

bienvenido help podcast the jock .com l

dr

london smith el unico podcast de comedia

de

improves decion medica completamente

in english presentamos a su

an vitrion dr london smith

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast where we discuss fitness and

health

and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring i’m your host

dr londonsmith.com i’d like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback about the

excessive amount of tactical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as calcium pyrophosphate dihydrate

crystal arthritis

and unpleasant disposition so i will try

to

temper my terminology to a simpler one

in the future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron hey

dr london you’re actually you’re here

early

the party’s not till noon okay

so so we’re so cameron we’re doing the

podcast right now

i don’t know if did you did you plan

some events

at the same time oh is that today

yeah no it’s you don’t want to do the

podcast every week right

we already did it though we did it last

week no okay so i feel like we do run

into this problem a lot

when we do the podcast that doesn’t mean

it’s done that means one episode it’s

done

it’s over so one episode was over but

like at the end of the episode whenever

we said you know this has been the

jackknife podcast

oh so this is sort of a sequel to last

week’s episode

yes in a sense yeah but then you know

the week before that

we we also had an episode sort of a

prequel

to last week’s episode yeah okay yeah

but then before that we also had an

episode

i don’t know if you remember that one

yeah so sort of like how there were

three hobbit movies which was a prequel

series

okay if you want to you’re saying that

the

what we recorded last week is it being

expanded into a

like 30 movie universe is that what i’m

getting

i this is all beside the point why are

you here you’re here early

yeah so i’m i’m here because we’re

recording the podcast this is the

scheduled time

every week we we get into the boat we

we drive out yeah well i i get that

i just i feel bad i was setting

everything up i mean you can look at the

decorations i’ve

kind of been here for a few hours now

sudden yeah so it says

well you you’re describing it as a party

it says intervention

in big letters is that that well this is

actually this

well no this is actually i need to take

that down because that’s from a previous

party um this is sort of the i would say

the sequel to that party

um which is like someone

kind of had a they fell back into old

habits

uh you could say that it’s a gender

reveal party for my pythons

i okay you know just to say

i feel like my guess was pretty wrong

but okay so i would say it was pretty

close

but yeah okay so your python so after

the last intervention we were all

hanging out

drinking and so someone started passing

around these pythons kind of like

everyone gets one you know any kind of

like a gift basket at the end

um except this is deering yeah it was

well it’s not in a basket it was loose

so you had to kind of like

fumble around with it you could put in a

blank you could do whatever you want

with it

it’s your own snake you can do whatever

you want i’m not here to like tell

people what to

do with their pet snakes um so

anyway one thing led to another and now

we’re having a gender reveal party

and we’re doing it i think in the most

snaky i guess way possible so like

during a podcast recording is what you

think is the most sneaky

no no no because this is just

coincidental okay

this is just we’re gonna i mean you got

the invite like we’re gonna paint one of

your legs blue

and one of your legs pink and then

whichever one i kick no whichever one

the snake goes for

that’s it right okay right right

um this is all on the invite the invite

was huge

it was like a manual you know i think

that the problem with the invite was

that

because it was it was so huge it was

like it was a wall

and so it for me it was more i i kept on

because you put it in front of the house

and like lean it against the house and

so for me to leave

it was like stuck you know keeping the

door shut so i’d actually use an

alternate

exit to the house and so that part

became unusable so i didn’t

read it i didn’t realize that that was

you sent that to everyone

no because not everyone had the special

instructions okay

yours was 130 your your invite came in

the form of a 135 page

manual yeah that was gigantic each page

across a series of i don’t know

what structural the invitation explained

you need to paint your legs and you show

up at noon

and then i repeat that in a bunch of

different languages that’s why it’s 135

pages

it’s really only one page of information

yeah it’s you know that i s

that i speak english though correct and

you’re doing

so well with it too it’s gotten so much

better

okay well it’s i and this may shock you

but english is actually my first

language

wow and it it that i that you consider

that

that’s really cool and you’ve grown so

much

right okay from the sort of babbling

nonsense language that you

spoke in for a few you know many years

are you just talking about the medical

lessons

whenever you say weird language yeah

when you’re like

a blobbity bluebity and you’re

stethoscopy and

uh uh lungy cancery

and you’re saying all these like kind of

fun sounding words that i’m sure are

like really

fun to say in my culture you mean

one thing that’s important to know about

language is that you’re trying to convey

information not just fun noises and

sounds

okay and that’s something that you’re

developing you’re still a growing boy

you’re developing

okay well anyway um great so i guess

so just to clarify for listeners and for

you so

this is the podcast recording and i

guess at the same time maybe there might

be

a gender reveal party for your pythons

okay so anyway that’s our producer

cameron

also with us is digital in the house

did your door in the house i’m your host

dr london smith.com

and you know that i speak english though

correct

calcium pyrophosphate dihydrated crystal

arthritis

[Music]

calcium pyrophosphate dihydrate crystal

arthritis

calcium phosphate dihydrate

crystallographs

calcium hydrophosphate dihydrate crystal

arthritis

you know that i speak english though

correct

yes

[Music]

yes

[Music]

what

[Music]

we can expect a special guest a a

nutritionist of sorts

is that right that’s right doctor great

uh can you say that word nutritionist

i’m sorry i you were doing the you’re

doing the babbling thing again i

couldn’t make out what you were saying

you were going blue

nutritional probably it’s again so

it’s fun it’s really cute it’s fun

but it’s not it’s not it’s not language

okay

well but before we move on i would like

to address a bit of listener feedback

so i saw this note strapped to the chest

of a man who walked into the bank

and the man was sweating and crying

excessively

and he had other sort of bulky steps

stuff strapped to him too

and then the bank teller gave him um so

much money

anyway so the note strapped to his chest

uh it said quote

hi jorge perhaps you can spend time with

my

oh sorry it was jorge uh perhaps or

georgia jorge perhaps you can spend time

with my son

harold he says he needs to borrow some

sugar from a mommy

end quote

i’m sorry i i didn’t read that quite

well enough uh but

anyway first of all i’d like to thank

you so much for reaching out to us here

at the jock doc podcast

uh so this listener is asking you for

mommy sugar um wait

to spend time with their son harold

who needs to borrow from sugar some

sugar from a mommy

oh so okay so i don’t

i i think it’s kind of understandable

what’s happening here

you your voice was the first thing that

this child heard

and so it sort of had an imprinting

effect where he thinks

everyone thinks that you’re his mommy

so so you think the thing that

imprinting which which happens with

ducks

you think that that mm-hmm somehow which

which normally does not ducks

and was a plot point in the twilight

series i think right

like yes remember he like imprinted on a

baby

you know you’d think i would have kept

up with it

but it the series did lose my interest

at a certain point

but um in any case so

i guess you know i could i could spend

time with

with this person’s son harold that you

know i don’t

i don’t think i have any sugar from a

mommy i mean what if this is a uh

what if it’s like a make-a-wish thing

you know what i mean like what you don’t

want to help this kid yeah so i guess

i guess i’ll why do you hate fixing

people so much maybe i’ll

ask for sugar from a mother

and then take that like bag or cup of

sugar

to harold to your to your child

and then um the child that has chosen

you as a parent

okay through the you know miracle of

of imprinting which is very much the

thing that applies to ducks and normally

not

humans but maybe harold is unique maybe

harold is a duck i’m not sure

in any case um that’s ridiculous thank

you so much for reaching out to us here

at the jock talk podcast

but now for today’s medical topic

pulmonary embolism

so consider pulmonary embolism which

is often shortened to just pe and deep

venous thrombosis which is known as a

dvt

so those are a continuum of one clinical

entity called

venous thromboembolism so basically a

dvt

is when a blood clot is formed somewhere

in the body and if that clot dislodges

travels through the veins oh my gosh i’m

sorry

is this the you’re doing it again you’re

just talking about how english is your

first language

you’re doing it i so this is this is

medicine i’m using

i feel like i’ve really tried to uh to

simplify the terminology

you know like i say the beginning of the

episode

i’m really struggling to explain this in

a clear way

um let me think

you know how when i say do you want to

go outside

it it’s sort of a i’m asking a question

and then you say uh-huh and then i’ll

let you outside

see the words i’m making are not fun

sounds

they convey information okay

what’s what you’re doing is nonsense all

right

do whatever you got to do but here we go

we got to speed it up all right

okay see every time you this is

we’re gonna we’re gonna turn this

medical lesson to a game is that okay

sure yeah anything to keep the listeners

engaged you know

every time you hear avril lavigne’s

voice

you need to start speaking faster okay

have you ever seen those videos where

it’s like

uh b-movie but every time they say b it

doubles the speed

no but that it’s like an old mimi type

thing all right

so we’re just gonna do that with your

fun babbling noises

okay okay sure so ready yeah so

uh if that clot dislodges travels

through the veins into the heart

then it is pumped into the pulmonary

veins and where it that’s where it

finally plugs up arteries

and that event pulmonary embolism or pe

that means that ventilation which is

breathing may be working fine but

perfusion which is blood flow within the

lungs is compromised so patients can be

breathing all day long but no gas

exchange takes place

it’s no surprise then that diagnosis

faster for treatment clinically the

presentation of pulmonary embolism

depends on the severity in terms of just

how much blood flow is

stopped patients can have difficulty

breathing fluoride chest pain which is

chest pain when taking breath

cough hemoptysis even syncope or passing

out if it is a large pe

clinical signs include tachypnea which

is increased breathing uh

rails techniques faster in passive pe

other possible signs include low grade

fever decreased breath sounds and

dullness and percussion

uh the workout for suspected pe is based

on people do it in the high-pitched

voice it’s based on pre-test probability

so the modified whale’s criteria is a

scoring system that helps guide this

process directing one towards the

d-dimer testing the low probability

towards the cta if a p is likely uh we

don’t have to go

we don’t have time to go into wells

criteria right now because uh

you know with not enough time but feel

free to look that up uh to diagnosed one

may try to get a

canadian accent in an accent yes

canadian uh sorry

uh to diagnose one may want to get abg

levels which would show

low pao2 and low co2 the latter due to

hyperventilation high ph

uh sorry chest x-ray is usually normal

uh sorry uh as i said the endometria is

another test that can be used testing

for the leftover products that occur

after a claw dyslogist so it can be

elevated in patients with pe and dvt

if the diameter results are normal and

clinical suspicion is low pe is very

unlikely it can be elevated in other

conditions though so

it is not specific on its own um

clinical suspicion is high however the

first agnes

step in a suspected pe is a venous

venous duplex ultrasound

of lower extremities since the dvt

typically happens here there’s a

positive result

treat with iv anticoagulation with like

heparin uh bear in mind though that

although this test is very helpful than

positive

little value is negative as half of

patients with the e may show negative

the next clinical diagnostic step would

be ct angiography which has been found

to be a good sensitivity

of over 90 in specificity uh this is the

test of choice in most medical centers

but cta cannot be performed in patients

with significant renal insufficiency

because of iv contrast that is required

although cta

is the usual test of choice pulmonary

angiography is the gold standard however

it’s invasive

so it’s not done as frequently treatment

for pulmonary embolism

includes supplemental oxygen to treat

hypoxemia and intubation with mechanical

ventilation if severe

if it is severe enough am i doing good

are we are we tracking

oh i stopped paying attention like so

okay well i’m glad that you’re painting

i’m just watching these avril lavigne

videos now okay

so uh well also acute anticoagulation

therapy with either

unfractionated or low molecular weight

heparin to prevent another pe

can be used uh anticoagulation prevents

further clot formation but does not lyse

existing emboli or diminish the current

thrombus size so in other words

this is just to prevent the next pe from

happening not the one that is currently

happening

start that anticoagulation immediately

on the basis of clinical suspicion if

clinical suspicion for pe is high

contraindication separate include of

course active breathing uncontrolled

hypertension recent stroke or heparin

induced stromocytopenia

oral anticoagulation like warfarin or

one of the novel oral anticoagulants can

be used for long-term treatment with the

heparin bridge

though it has not been shown irish

uh those not been shown to improve

mortality rates in patients with pe

one may consider thrombolytic therapy

with streptokinase or tpa in patients

with massive pe

who are hemodynamically unstable or have

evidence of

heart failure uh another option is

inferior venus

like a b uh like a b

yeah like a b like buzzing b yeah i

guess

make sure okay uh

another option is inferior vena cava

interruption with

ivc filter placement

uh which has been more commonly done but

reduction immortality

has not been exclusively demonstrated

patients who have an ivc filtered place

read it like you hit someone on

with your car on the way to the studio

and you kept driving

and you that’s a secret you have and

that you don’t want anyone to know about

[Music]

just be informed yeah okay okay um

all patients have you see filter

placeholder a higher risk of recurring

dvt but at lower risk of recurrent pe

this intervention can be used in

patients with

uh in which anticoagulation is

contraindicated and finally the surgical

thrombectomy can be considered in

patients with hemodynamic compromise

a large proximal thrombus and who are

poor candidates from fiber analytics

is that wow i think i learned a lot from

that

good yeah no it’s uh pulmonary embolisms

very high yield very important topic

that you know it can be life-saving too

to be

well it sort of reminds me of the artist

bony bear known as justin vernon and how

he sort of developed this way of writing

where he moved away from traditional

lyricism

and moved towards um just picking

specific words that are announced

specific ways and sort of um morph

together in an aesthetically pleasing

way

right so the lyrics a lot of times don’t

necessarily mean anything

but they’re really fun to listen to and

that way babies can listen to it

just like the show and your medical

essence yes

okay like you know great to start

education at a young age so

having a baby listen to that might sure

that might be useful

i i feel like it is more for

you know medical stuff did you get it

out of your system though no i’m i’m

finished i

you know especially that thinking about

hitting a person with a car

um and carrying that secret yeah

that’s gotta be tough yeah we can move

on from there

all right uh cameron said that we have a

guest today is that right

that’s right dr london we have a first

time guest

but you know what i think this might be

one of the most special guests that

we’ve ever had now i’m bringing that

back if you remember

i was banned from calling every single

guest the most special guest that we’ve

ever had yeah well the lawsuit because

you said

it was misleading and there yeah there

was the um

slander lawsuit about it from it was a

joint lawsuit from all of our past

previous guests complaining that they

were

told they were the most special guest of

all time this is

not that situation this is the most

special guest we’ve ever had

i’ve never spoken to them and i don’t

know who they are

but they’re here which is about as much

research as you usually do so okay

uh well anyway yeah before i choose um

hello there

uh my name is dr londonsmith.com and

this is our producer cameron

hi hi dr london

hi producer cam i am associate melanie

juice i am a nutritionist

and a intuitive empath

so i mean i mean can you feel what i’m

feeling right now

um not quite i mean i

i would need to get to know you a little

bit more i would need to hear about

you know the coordinates and time of

your birth

and things like that but um if you have

any medical

issues uh my gift allows me to figure

out what it is

you should be eating and drinking

to help cure whatever ailment you might

have

okay oh wow i’m glad that you’re not

feeling exactly what i’m feeling right

now because i feel

terrible what it sucks

and so i just don’t know i just don’t

want that for you

no i’m picking up on it but don’t worry

i can you know

shield myself from feeling what you’re

feeling but i can

let you in and know intuitively what it

is that you’re feeling

it’s just like everything smells like

burnt toast my left arm is numb

it’s ugh i feel terrible right i think

it i

i honestly do think it’s a dietary thing

yes oh absolutely i

know exactly what it is you need and

that

my friend is celery juice

dr london are you not you don’t seem

sold on the celery juice why it’s celery

no it’s you say it like it’s like i you

know had a huge problem with it no it’s

just um

so what cameron that sounded like he was

describing was

sort of the classic stroke and heart

attack symptoms of you know smelling

burnt toast is

like kind of just known generally as a

stroke thing and then the left arm

numbness and

i’m guessing chest pain cameron uh

let me feel um yeah i think there’s

chest pain

okay see that’s just probably from a

build-up of toxins

and i know and if you can get on the

right diet you can cleanse yourself of

those toxins

the things of the american diet today

are

horrendous would you agree dr london

uh yeah yeah there’s a lot of processed

foods a lot of very fatty foods

especially in the american diet

and cameron i would say he doesn’t hold

to the conventional

american diet uh in like in the healthy

way well and there’s a lot of foods that

i keep dropping which i don’t

which is sort of been an awful epidemic

that sort of plagued

america for a long time is these

slippery foods well you

okay you mean dropping on the floor yeah

they’re too slippery

everything is looking my hands are

soaked because everything is so slippery

all the time

like greasy foods yeah and that

hydraulized

fats disgusting i don’t know it’s just

food’s too slippery these days it’s

become an issue but i mean what are you

so what are you suggesting

with the celery juice so that sounds

like a fun

uh drink to have what about for the meal

that is part of the meal every day you

wake up you have a glass of water with

lemon then you juice in a juicer

an entire stock of celery and i actually

have a line of juicers

that i could send you a link to that you

can buy

uh free of shipping and those will just

fit you right up so you drink a celery

stock every day you don’t want any of

the particles

you want on an empty stomach nothing but

water and lemon

celery juice and then you make what i

call the metal

detox smoothie which contains

uh seaweed from the north atlantic ocean

and that is going to

help with the toxins yeah that sounds

amazing and i do

feel very toxic lately exactly i’ve been

online

and the things i’ve been saying are

terrible and i don’t know why i keep

doing it and so

i just want these toxins out that will

help with online trolling i have a whole

chapter in my book

all about that oh you have a you have a

book as well

i do i have three books with lots of

smoothie recipes

and i have as i mentioned a line of

juicers

for you to juice your own celery and i

also own a farm

that produces celery that you can also

get your celery from

so when you were saying you’re gonna

send me a link to a place where i can

get a juicer

it was to your website where you are

selling juicers

exactly oh okay well i mean that just

sounds convenient and like

a good business like you own every

level of the process exactly and you

know i wanted to just be kind of a

one-stop shop because you don’t want to

be following all kinds of links you just

want one link

to one place where you can become healed

you want to be

able to integrate these systems

vertically one would say

i i don’t know what you mean by that but

yes

dr london i mean what yeah what you what

what is this dumb face you have on your

face

well it just the fact that

for me it’s kind of a big kind of a cool

breakthrough that

something that you say is not

understandable to someone else on a

similar level to

what you claim that you know my words

sound like it’s

it’s just a little it’s kind of a goodie

for me

but so what i’m wondering about this the

celery

diet you’ve only mentioned celery so far

and i’m not sure if your lemon and water

was involved i believe

sorry lemon and water okay so that you

know you try to get

fruits and vegetables which it sounds

like you’re covering some of those

uh but then you know grains oh no no no

no no no

no no oh what are grains i mean are that

is that bad for me

it’s bad for everyone cameron and i’ll

tell you why

it’s that we are human beings who for

the longest time

on this earth ate fruits and vegetables

fruits vegetables that’s it and that is

what our bodies have

evolutionized to take in and we

we’re not built for all this hydrolyzed

fat

or or or meat or icky things like grain

we are made to process

pure foods this is really alarming to me

because i had a

ton of wheat earlier like a just absurd

unbelievable amount of just raw wheat

and how do you feel terrible my left arm

is numb it’s just

it’s these toxins attacking my body now

that now that you’ve

opened my eyes to this i can see it it’s

almost like

uh in an example of a movie

that might exist where something happens

and then someone can see something

better

if you could think of an example of a

movie where that happens it would be

just like that

you are correct producer cameron and uh

me associate melanie

juice which is the name of my brand of

juice

i’m sorry is is associate your first

name then and you’re going by your full

name here

no doctor just as you go by the term

doctor i go by associate uh to reflect

my

level of education associate’s degree

i do in nutrition yes very recent i just

got my certificate in the mail

because you know we couldn’t have a real

graduation

sure and so it’s two years of

of sort of usually isn’t it more like

preliminary courses and the uh

you know sort of you cover your basics

and like i’m assuming well there’s

probably electives too

oh yeah i took surfing as an elective

isn’t that fun

yeah so i mean i think of the

like this i i really apologize for dr

london’s behavior he is more of a

how would you say book learner type

he doesn’t vibe well with people who

learn it on the streets and

learn it from experience in real life

like yourself

i can tell that you exactly you have had

a full life

and dr lennon he’s just got his he’s got

his head and his books and he’s like

oh but what does this say and what does

that say and two plus two

who who decides what that is all these

things

right and and let me tell you out you

seem to really

get me producer cameron and and and my

knowledge really is from the streets

from myself i grew up with a terrible

disease called eczema and when i had

eggs emma which i don’t anymore

i do not have it and you know what cured

me

cameron was the celery juice i also was

on a regimen of

steroid cream but at the same time

was juicing a whole stalk of celery from

my farm

every day and i was cured

wow that’s incredible i mean dr london

have you ever even cured anyone in your

entire life

nope i like cure isn’t really the

word that i usually use for any of it

but like you treat and then people

recover yeah

like eczema usually i feel i feel like

the

you know the steroids the corticoids

whatever

might have been more helpful and i i

just want to clarify something before

cameron goes off on it so

eczema isn’t eggs with a mature rating

it is an xma

it it’s eczema is a skin condition yeah

eczema

is a is the i think there’s only two

types of mammals that also lay eggs

platypus and echidna yeah what

what is an echidna

it’s uh like a platypus

and that they’re both in that they’re

both eczema

and that is what i said dr london eggs

emma

right okay anyways i didn’t want to just

clarify that

so so what i’m seeing as an issue is

that

you can have some you know depending on

what

vitamins you’re getting from that food

it’s it sounds like you might be

deficient in some vitamins and you know

maybe not getting enough protein

oh deficient what language

[Laughter]

okay so this is another because i yeah

dr london stopped bullying our guests

he wants to tell me i’m deficient oh

okay i’m deficient

oh oh i i haven’t read all the books

that you have with we are expensive

schools and so thus that i can’t

think for my own right it sounds like

cameron

what you said about dr london is he’s

deficient in street smarts

what do you think about that dr london

wow yeah okay so it does sound like you

understood the word

it’s it’s just ssd street smarts

deficiency

i die i hereby and with my associate’s

degree

diagnose you dr london with a deficiency

in street smarts

this is wow breaking the story wide open

so and i’m sorry to turn the turn the

attention away from me

but um uh miss miss associate

melanie juice if i could ask how long

have you been

have you been using this particular diet

how long have you’ve been on it

about three years now so take that

vitamins

take that vitamins i take celery and and

and seaweed from the north atlantic

ocean and lemon every once in a while

yes every day every day

so i’m i guess my question to you is you

know

let’s say for a second that sure you

you’re fine but do you have numbness

in your your hands or feet um

what did i define numbness

it’s kind of like okay yeah

okay it’s kind of like what cameron

described in his arm it’s where you

can’t

feel with your hands or feet to some

extent

well i’ve never been able to feel with

my hands or feet

wow okay

i so that’s that’s not the usual

response that i get

um so let’s say that you touch

i i’m going to try to think of it simply

let’s try say that you try to touch

something with your hand

okay like let’s say i’m kind of

following

okay see again i’m really sorry if he’s

speaking in this kind of like weird

it’s it’s it’s like code isn’t it it’s

like it’s like yeah it’s

hyrule it’s a little secret language

that he has with his little friends so

they can tell their little secrets

i don’t like it okay i think i have an

example for you okay so you have

your celery and you’re you’re you’re

grabbing your celery with your hand

can you feel it whenever you do that can

you feel that you have

the object in your hand there’s not much

to feel on

celery it’s just it’s kind of like it’d

be

it could be a waste of time right it’d

be like a waste of time because it’s

like like there’s not even anything

there to feel

so like why am i gonna be like paying so

much attention to feeling this the

celery and like right i mean if i put

the celery stock on my leg

when i’ve taken it out of the fridge

then it’s cold

okay i can okay on my leg yeah

and is it can you feel that you know on

your

toe i guess you don’t put on your toe

probably um

i’m just i’m just wondering because you

you know your cold and heats or

sorry your uh your temperature and

pain sensations are with a different

group of nerves and so i’m just trying

to figure out maybe

if there could be a problem

with your curve why are you trying to

poke holes in her

her entire system yeah are you trying to

say i’m a hand

and foot deficient yeah what are you

even trying to do i don’t understand

what your angle is here

dr london i so i’m wondering if you’re

are you

if she has a peripheral are you selling

like a competing

juicer is that what this is about or

something oh do you have a line of

juicers doctor no okay

you know what you know what we we can we

can table

what i was saying there and i did have a

question

can i do i have to raise my hand if i

have a question i will call on you yes

cameron you may ask your question um so

i do already have a juicer will

your celery work in my juicer or do i

should i just go ahead and order a

couple years to be safe i think you

should go

well the thing is celery doesn’t keep

great so you have to have a weekly

shipment coming in

and if your blades on your juicer are

not

new and sharp you may need a whole new

juicer um and

and i i tell those okay

okay yeah that makes sense because the i

mean yeah like the juicer it makes

juice but like i don’t know if it’s

getting all of the um

antioxidants into my into my juice you

know what i mean

exactly and you need it and you need you

can’t just

if we’re going back to the lemons you

can’t just buy lemon juice at the store

you need a fresh

lemon because you need the insides of

that lemon to be alive

wow yeah and so i mean do you do you

like have a lemon tree of course i do i

sell lemons

my lemon lime is called little lucy’s

lemons

oh wow okay so not named after you then

no lucy is well it’s my middle name okay

okay

right that clarifies that confusion

earlier so your

your title is associate and it’s melanie

lucy juice yes associate melanie lucy

juice

okay lucy juice okay

um i mean dr london i just

i don’t i don’t you seem very

antagonistic about this

all she’s doing is she’s telling people

eat your vegetables and a little bit of

fruit juice

and you’ll be good do you see how

limiting that is why is that bad

so like okay so good things about it

okay

uh you know celery you know you’ll

you’ll get some fiber from that it’s a

very hydrating

vegetable uh and

so that’s great um with the with the

lemons

you’ll get you know that’s great way to

prevent scurvy so that’s a lot of

vitamin c

and it also has other vitamins in it but

there are certain vitamins that you

cannot get from these things

and i’m worried about your the amount of

protein that you get

and you know the building blocks

basically for let’s say

i think that’s a is that a toxin which

one protein protein is

toxic okay people at the beginning of

time were not killing and eating animals

they were surviving on leaves and

berries

okay so so i should clarify so

leaves and berries like depending on

what like lettuce leaves those

kind of things those can have amino

acids which are the building blocks of

proteins so it’s not like

it’s not like those are bad across the

board but you’re

you’re missing out on some things like

like a a big dose of protein

and then also you’re thinking iron like

you look very

pale and you seem kind of woozy and i

can’t help but think that might be

connected to the fact that

you’ve been on this diet for so long

this is what all you doctors tell me all

the time oh you’re pale

oh you can’t feel your hands and feet oh

he’s just trying to sell a product you

know what i mean he’s trying to push

drugs onto you

exactly he’s trying to big pharma just

throwing big pharma in my face when i

really just need

some fresh fruits and veggies and you

know what i think i’ve solved the hand

thing that you’re talking about because

i burned off

all the fingerprints on my hand years

ago on the

stove i just put my hands down on the

stove didn’t notice

and now i have no fingerprints so i’m

sorry so years ago so usually

the timeline is once you begin one of

these diets that

may be lacking in certain vitamins it’s

about two years

of you know storage in your liver that

you have

maybe you started another diet before

then but like

anyways so i guess the point that’s an

interesting question

is this you’re the first sort of uh

diet that you’ve been on no before this

one i was actually eating a diet of

wild blueberries what very very

important that they’re wild and not

grown

no pesticides no pesticides no human

planted the plant it has to be just wild

natural blueberries

and i was eating that um and a lot of

pomegranate juice so that

was that did okay you say it

wild did you maybe this is a strange

question

and you know do correct me on this if

i’m wrong

did you live in the wild like were you

out

in sort of a a rural

place where this was easily accessible

well i wasn’t gonna talk about this on

here but i guess

now i have to um i was

kicked out of my house for having eczema

and i had to live in the wild amongst

the elk

the elk took me in and introduced me to

wild blueberries

and that’s um that’s how i got on my

my nutrition kick is i realized once i

started eating these wild blueberries

this celery

my eczema along with a small

regiment of topical steroids cured me

and so at that point you said goodbye to

the elk

and you invented a juicer that’s an

amazing story

thank you i i i really am a wonder of

nature

uh so dr

what are you struggling with it’s just i

don’t understand what your issue why you

keep taking so much issue

with someone who is as healthy as our

guest

yeah it’s just just there are so many

things that like

so you were raised by elk for a period

of your life

um okay so that’s you know i think

that’s a less controversial thing to

discuss that’s something that

you know maybe i won’t be as concerned

with giving our listeners some some

information i wouldn’t want so maybe

let’s

eat celery they do yes whenever they can

find it

how long did you spend with the with the

elk

eight years okay so you were

and you were kicked out whenever you’re

diagnosed with the eczema so

my mom said i i will not have no

daughter with eggs emma

get out get out get she said

we hear about this epidemic of um

you know older generations let’s say

boomer type not being accepting

of like having a rash or uh dry skin or

these kind of things and

exactly it’s terrible i’m really really

sorry to hear i’ll

hear about all that and i actually have

a foundation called the

lucy juice foundation for kids who get

kicked out of their house for having

eczema

and um i adopt for them all

oh oh wow you your foundation is just

anyone who fits those requirements you

adopt

it’s an i haven’t seen i have 60 adopted

children um that live outside

on my farm and pick the celery

i grow oh wow yeah so you have

wild children well i just yes i

i just want these kids to feel accepted

and loved you know

as i wasn’t by my human parents my elk

parents

were very kind and so you keep them sort

of as like human cattle

oh i mean no i mean they they have

they do live in a barn yes and they do

pick my celery

for me and i but i do pay them in love

yeah do they eat from a trough well it’s

not a trough per se i guess it would be

more of a

more of a a big a boxed round

deep plate it’s like a

tub it’s like tapas you know you like

you’re sharing and now you’re kind of

passing everything around with tapas

but that’s that’s the opposite because

it’s a small plate rather than a big

plate

but a bunch of small plates doesn’t that

equal a big plate

isn’t that just the most profound thing

i’ve ever heard

this is the kind of science and

education you’re gonna get from this

podcast

well i’m just gonna have to listen okay

so you know it’s it’s great to hear

about

you know these great products and that

you

lived with elk for eight years and that

you later you know essentially started

sort of an adoption i guess you’re a

foster parent

more or less uh with 60 children

who you you have them do the work for

you

yeah sounds like they roam quite a bit

they do um and something i should have

mentioned

is all of them have

not had an eczema outbreak in over a

year

wow we’re all cured i’m telling you dr

london i know it sounds crazy my doctor

says that that it’s crazy uh but

you got to look at the results i mean i

haven’t had a rash in nyon three years

and my 60 children

same thing since they started living

with me and eating celery

and it really goes to show how

close-minded the medical community can

be

where they won’t be open to these new

ideas like

if you if you and your 60 children only

have celery of course it’s going to get

rid of your rashes

like that to me makes so much sense and

i feel like my mind is being open to an

entire new

category of health yes and and the

medical community does not want to talk

about celery and

you know why is because it would put the

topical steroid business completely out

should i throw up because i ate all that

wheat earlier i just feel like i know

that it’s just like toxic in my body

listen i

i don’t want to endorse throw up but

um pooping it out would be just as

helpful

you know you know what you need yeah

i’ll see what i can do with that you

need a cleanse

what does what does that mean i have a

book just on cleanses because i took a

shower

like two days ago so i know that i’ve

like i’m i’m good i’m clean

so you got the the external toxins

washed off

now it’s time to shower your inside

with celery juice i tried to do that

once

and then i nearly drowned so that is

something

that you want to like trying to like

shower the inside of your body

so i would just like open my mouth and

then you know it didn’t work out great

well that’s because i don’t have a

chapter in my book on showering your

insides

that was more of a metaphor you know

what i’m talking about dr

metaphors that’s a big you know

i don’t know all my knowledge is from

the streets so i i don’t know these kind

of things

metaphor isn’t like a medical term if

that’s what you’re trying to say

that’s that’s just annoying these uh

it’s just you’re

you’re you know you’re you’re speaking a

different language there dr london no

idea what you’re talking about

okay but i mean so what what is this

cleanse like what do i need to do

all right you gotta give up all the

grains all the protein and you just

gotta

for for three straight days nothing but

fruit okay you can do a little avocado

dip with plantain chips almost feels

like you’re you’re having

chips and dip yup

but plantains and avocado that’s my

trick

for this cleanse just three days of

fruit that’s all

are then just any fruit it doesn’t

matter any specifics

yes but not tomatoes

crap is not a fruit okay yeah that’s

what i thought you were gonna say

because you just disagree with it on

principle okay

i’d get that okay

all right so so cameron you can try this

cleanse i think you know for a few days

that doesn’t sound like a bad idea like

that’s would be fine for you to

get because normally cameron is

he got this uh how to describe it he has

a basket hanging from his neck normally

and he um he

he got some automated system where like

he’ll he has a muzzle

and he’ll scoop from the bag it’s filled

with fried food

and just various kinds with cheese dip

to kind of fuse it all

so he he gets his muzzle and he scoops

just some of the food and straps that on

and then he just it’s a horse feed bag

is what you’re talking about yeah yeah

well horse feedback it’s a thing you

strap that has

like different food in it it’s usually

fried foods that i keep around my head

all day long

yeah well and he’ll do this the thing is

he’ll do this during the podcast and

like we have

we have hundreds of episodes that we

haven’t been able to use because

he’s just talking through his food the

whole time

that is that’s disgusting honestly i’ve

only known you a few minutes

cameron but that is that i i wouldn’t

expect such things from you

yeah and it was really hard because it

sort of conflicted with my sleep apnea

machine to try to have both of them on

it was a nightmare i would like to see a

photograph of

that that sounds bonkers

it’s it was miserable i hated it yeah

cameron does

frequently bring up especially in the

winter he’ll say like well

layering is just super important to stay

warm and then he’ll try to layer

the feed bag and the sleep apnea machine

and i don’t i don’t think the saying

really applies to this

that’s just because just dressing in

layers that’s

that’s the term the saying you never

stack

a sleep apnea machine on a horse feed

bag

ah yes i think we learned that one in my

english class when i was at school to

become a nutritionist

oh what school did you go to i went to

monterey bay community college for

people who want to become nutritionists

is that is that last part something that

you added

no that’s that’s the name of the school

okay

great so it sounds like it is it is

directed towards

what you wanted to do so that is exactly

well i also like that it has

basically an advertisement in its name

right that’s how i found that it’s like

telling you what’s going on i like that

yeah it’s a good old m c

c p f w

b and r i love that school

oh i haven’t switched it against them we

competed against them in surfing

yeah that’s it i thought that was so

cute a surfing class for my pe

requirement

yeah that was that got brutal i remember

i was able to say that was a really

violent competition i’d actually i went

to that game

and yeah it’s that surfing match

well yeah because you well and i don’t

know if you know

if if every side was aware but i don’t

know which side it was but one of them

poisoned

the the water both what the uh

athletes were drinking and also the

water they were surfing on

they poisoned the pacific ocean wow

that’s my understanding i didn’t hear

anything about this this is crazy

this this is terrifying i just drank a

ton of the pacific ocean earlier today

this is not good yeah that’s

yeah it’s not uh the salt water that you

know the tonicity of it is actually

anyway i you know what i feel like once

again my medical jargon is going to go

over someone’s head

so maybe it’s about time for us to uh

and you know i hate to do this while

you’re on the show

so don’t do it i know what you’re going

to do but

we have chores to do

okay yeah if you would help us with it

so we

um and kevin i don’t know if you want to

explain because i feel like

yeah basically like we

were we’d been we got really busy

because we had been playing a lot of

like

blackjack we don’t know how to play that

game

no but there’s like a fun there’s like a

fun variation where you i heard it’s all

about jack black impressions and it’s

like

numbers so you count them anyway we’re

doing that for counting

yelling out numbers we we neglected

a lot of our chores a lot of our to-do

lists like we have this like we haven’t

done laundry in forever we haven’t done

the dishes in forever we

there’s a lot to do we’re trying to take

care of it especially in this new year

and so we built this fun chore wheel

that we’re gonna go ahead and spin

whatever it lands on

we have to do it even if we don’t want

to do it dr london do you if you don’t

want to do it you still have to do it

i still have to and like and i don’t

mean that and just like oh like oh i

have to i did sign

something you had me sign yup uh

and so like legally i’m obligated to and

like there is

and if you if you don’t i’m gonna leak

your dms

mm-hmm yeah he’s gonna he’s gonna dox me

is also it’s contractual anyway

so let’s avoid that now yeah let’s do it

let’s spin the thing

okay and would you like the honors would

you like to spin it yes please

okay i just i just pushed down yeah and

so okay and it’s

i don’t know if you can get a proper

grip with your but um

i don’t feel anything yeah so you’ll

just yeah use your eye

you have to use your eyesight for this

one because since hands don’t feel

anything you can’t just

yeah you gotta you gotta there we go

there we go and then just

kind of touching it

well this one i guess it’s i mean it’s

probably a decent time for this one

from last year i think but yeah

but uh we’ve got to return our christmas

gifts that we hate

great good oh you got some stuff you

need to return to

yes i have a box of chocolates that um

i have no use for

all that space all the space yeah i got

to get rid of this and it

it’s just disgusting and i could never

imagine

doing that to my health well i i

appreciate that you brought it with you

that like and so you said

this is from this christmas this past

one right or this yes just a month ago

and

a month ago to the day i believe and i

brought it just

as a thank you re-gift to you two for

having me on your

show but now oh okay so you’re just

you’re pawning off the chocolates you

don’t want to us

well i was going to but now i illegally

i have to return them i think that is

true

yeah that’s true otherwise they’re going

to be doxxed well and

you know to our benefit it does look as

if you left it outside at the farm

just it looks like it’s been stomped

upon

quite a bit i was i was actually able to

comment some of these chocolates

you say you don’t eat chocolate but some

of them look chewed on for sure

well i have 60 curious children who i’m

trying to teach

how to be healthy and and they have days

where they’re just

they just don’t get it but so y’all are

just like chewing on chocolate and then

spitting it out so that way

well they start to chew it at it and i’m

like stop it

spit it out spit it out and i hit them

on the back until they spit it out

but you just you just still just keep it

around

well in case i need yeah i can find

somebody who would enjoy it

yeah dr london what are you returning

yeah so i have this um well like so i

got this crate

and i’m not sure who it’s from it was a

secret santa thing and the limit was

thirteen hundred dollars

so i didn’t know then like it was it was

anywhere from ten to thirteen hundred

dollars that you could spend on the gift

and so i got some more normal secret

santa stuff

yeah so i got someone uh a bow tie

and you know i spent 50 how much did

that cost oh

yeah no and it’s super cool time it’s

it’s actually like and i paid for

i’m trying to remember does it spin it

spins that’s that’s

nice and lights up which i thought for

15 that is a steal

yeah that’s awesome yeah it was a really

good deal so they got that

and i got so this crate they had

delivered to

my house and it’s so it’s taller than me

and it grunts a lot and

um so so what i found to be

like the crates oh

have you opened the crate so so here’s

the thing so it has

like these these holes in it that like

you know they look

built in air holes kind of thing the

thing is

the box came with like a prod

like a cattle prod so it’s something

electrical

so i at first i thought that that was

the present and i thought like well this

is neat

i can yeah you jokingly use this shock

my friends right

uh but then but then the crate arrived

right after so i’ve been

not it’s it’s like one of those you’ve

just been sticking the cattle prod

through the air holes yeah so it’s like

the chocolates i don’t know what to do

with it

right now so have you opened the box

yeah why haven’t you opened the box well

it’s

so i tried like poking at it with a

cattle product that didn’t open i didn’t

know

i guess i’m not a handyman i don’t know

how to do everything you don’t know how

to open the box is the issue

well okay so and one thing is those book

smarts again yeah

so it didn’t have a ribbon on it for me

to like you pull at

to untie it didn’t have tape for me to

pull off like none of it like i tried

pushing at parts of it

and like there’s like no no wrapping

paper so

no i was super confused and like like

i’m on your side here like i did

it doesn’t make sense but so i so i

but as these holes in it so i keep on

poking at it and it has been

yeah so i guess uh

it says like it says

what do you mean it says oh it says like

[Music]

we need to get a crowbar in here like a

normal person

and and rip that box open and save

whoever’s in no that’s right

that sounds very crazy because a crowbar

like

look i’ve had crows before but to

actually have them gather together to

drink

i’m uh oh my god

cameron how do you do it it’s impossible

to deal with this guy

i mean okay so wait who are you

returning it to do you do

i guess the person who gave it see you

as a secret santa

it was a very secret santa um

oh gosh what does that mean

so so i got a letter in the mail months

ago

and it was telling me all about this

secret santa he was like

you know just i guess they didn’t say

santa but like they said a whole bunch

of stuff about like oh we’ll exchange

this and that

and i was like oh great this this sounds

wonderful

so uh and like i knew the holidays were

coming up and that if i got ahead of it

then i would have a present ready and i

would be able to get

you know what i got which is an on sale

bow tie that spins and lights up

so like i know i played my part right

and so i was like

you know i i wrote them back i was like

i’m

so down i’m game let’s do this

and it can be hard to shop for gifts

you don’t even it’s hard to get someone

exactly what they want

and like and i for one thing i get it

and that’s why i haven’t like

tried mailing them again or calling or

uh you know i haven’t like

they’ve sent some messengers by but i

haven’t like

you know messengers dr london you

might have a missing person a kidnapped

person

in that box in your house and somebody

just pawned them off on you

what a perfect hiding place to a man’s

house who can’t

open a box yeah in exchange for a bow

tie they accepted seem to accepted that

as payment

with no questions oh i should we gotta

get that box open

we’re not returning this present we are

taking it to the police

we should at least throw some food in

there like the bare minimum

should be you should be throwing stuff

in there here’s the thing

uh just to clarify one point um the so

the bow tie did come back to me in the

mail i

i neglected i forgot to mention this

earlier so it said like you know

that like that the address wasn’t right

or something you know it did that return

so uh anyway so

you know i should probably yeah no i

should try to return this but i realize

that address is wrong

so i’ll just i’m calling the police

right now on my cell phone

you you they’ve been in there for over a

month how

are they even still alive

can a person live that long in a box

okay and i don’t do secret santa a lot i

don’t play this game much

so i don’t know if that’s part of it

but uh the rules the rules are there’s

sort of regional variations of it too

i i have to assume look and like i’ve

played secret santa when i was little i

don’t remember the

whole game but i could

swear that there were less kettle prods

involved like

maybe there was a taser there might have

been a taser but i don’t remember there

being a full

length cattle prod so that’s new to me

and i’m thinking

i want to learn to play this game so i

will continue to

and so i the boxers and labeled those

anyway

yeah i feel like we’re i’m going on too

much and

you know should i talk should i talk

about what i’m returning yeah yeah if

you could

yeah i’m returning my son um

i think we’ve had a good run and he’s

pretty good at baseball which is cool

like we’ll but like i think besides that

and he’s

cool but like we don’t like vibe super

well

but he was was he given to you i don’t

you know in a way

he was he was given to me via you know

the miracle of life birth

yeah yeah um so was he

how old is he now uh he’s 19.

yeah yeah so i’m just gonna take it back

to the hospital and then say

y’all send them back do whatever you

want this is your thing

okay he seems down with it too i want to

i want to just throw that out there it’s

there’s

he’s totally fine with living at the

hospital he’s already started

started calling all doctors and nurses

mommy and daddy

um so i mean i feel like it’s not that

big of a deal but yeah i’m gonna go

ahead and

go and it’s time to return my son back

to his home his

real life also the hospital

where he’s born you can also look up the

lucy juice foundation

for unwanted children and maybe

maybe your son could come work and pick

some celery on my farm

that i mean that is super interesting

too

that could be it he does like picking

things he’s always like

like like just picking at things so that

that could be yeah

put that to use just grabbing he’s

handsy is what you’ve described him as

in the past i feel like handsy implies

that like he’s grabbing

people but it’s not that it’s more

just like everything always he’s just

he’s just kind of flailing around

grabbing

yeah yeah and that’s just what he does

day to day i would say that’s honestly

probably the most annoying thing about

him and is why i’m trying to ship them

off

oh you know so this might be a chance

for him to grow as a person

and you know that’s i know he’s thinking

hospital but

you know it’s college age anyway as long

as he goes to

you know kind of live life on his own

maybe being away from you would be a

good idea just to help him grow

a little bit to grow apart to grow

together again later possibly

again it’s the vibe it’s so off like i

just don’t see that happening

okay well i would be i would love to

meet him

yeah i mean i couldn’t have 61 children

once one more

if if you if you meet him you’re gonna

know because

anything you have in your house he’s

gonna be running around grabbing every

single thing

and you’re gonna be like oh i think

that’s the kid

we just call him the boy the kid

whatever chocolates

uh the boy the boy who likes chocolate

half chewed chocolate he can have my

chocolate i honestly don’t know like a

ton about him

because like again like we’re cool we’re

cool in groups but like one-on-one like

it’s just like a different vibe you know

what i mean

but like super cool in groups and stuff

and like a group hang

um yeah you’ve told me you won’t bring

them on a date but you’ll bring them on

a group date

yeah if it’s like a group hang then yeah

sure yeah

but it’s just like one-on-one it’s like

oh like what do we even have to talk

about like i don’t even know anything

about this guy

because you’ve said it’s not even just

the one-on-one like if it’s three people

like if it’s you going on a date with

someone then if he’s there it gets

really awkward

because he just sits there and grabs at

stuff

yeah yeah yeah yeah he’s just constantly

grabbing everything yeah it’s mostly

food stuff which gets pretty nasty

yeah he’s grabbing my quesadilla with a

fist

and then he’s just like squeezing it if

you got a calzone that’s shooting pizza

stuff

everywhere it’s it’s a hish it’s a whole

issue

and then if he’s reaching into your

horse mask that’s great he knows not to

do that because he’ll get a bite

because it’s once that thing is on my my

jaws

my jaw movement is automatic i just

start going

round yeah it is like

like a masher like a i don’t know like

one of those

giant machines in any case i feel like

it’s like a hungry hungry hippo

okay no i guess that is more accurate

there’s like

a scooping situation also your head does

go out a little bit for it yeah that’s

true

um anyway i feel like we’ve about done

that chore

i think we did dj dylan get let’s get

our gifts

give it an old uh we just did that chore

jingle

uh well all right so i feel like it’s

that’s a good time to wrap it up so

um anyway thank you associate melanie

juice

sorry associate melanie lucy juice um

for being on

thank you dr london this has been so

much fun getting to know you two

learning about street smarts and book

smarts

yeah yeah and hopefully i just i feel

like yeah

i feel like i’ve learned a lot today

about celery

and a little bit of lemon wow

those are the main two things and a

website where to go to to get a juicer

yeah speaking of which yeah if there’s

any way for listeners to uh to follow

you after this to to get more of your

product

oh yes please associate melanie lucy

juice.com

easy enough on social media at associate

melanie lucy juice

all right and also oh you know who i

want to talk about my eldest

daughter adopted daughter her name’s

kayla teal she’s a

quote comedian so cute

uh you can find her on instagram at ke

teal t-e-e-l she

she would get a kick out of this that’s

awesome that she finds her

time to do that in between picking all

that celery

well you know she’s she’s starting to

yeah she’s starting to flute fly the

coop i let her out to do her little bits

and giggles

as long as she’s back home to get some

celery then you know that’s okay

that’s what i say all right well um

thank you to our producer cameron thank

you to did you do in the hose

[Music]

i hereby with my associate’s degree

diagnose you dr

london with a deficiency in street

smarts

did you do in the house did you do in

the house

[Music]

i went to monterey bay community college

for people who want to become

nutritionists

it’s a good old mcc p

f w b

m i love that school i have a sweatshirt

with that up

so take that vitamins that vitamins i

take celery

from the north atlantic from the north

atlantic ocean

[Music]

my name is dr londonsmith.com and this

has been

the jock doc podcast see ya

[Music]

well the bucket is full of mustard

you push it back a little with your toe

remembering what your dentist had warned

you

with regard to mustard’s ability to

stain teeth

your teeth shudder at the thought or

perhaps the cold

at this point it is difficult to discern

the culprit of such an action

when your friends had bantered about

stealing mustard packets so you would

never run out

you laughed along when they suggested

emptying all the packets

into one big bucket and then placing

said bucket into the middle of the

dining table to eat

you forced a few chuckles but for every

one of those

jokes you could sense an error of truth

of genius

what you did not anticipate was that

when you took it a step further

and simply tossed your food into the

mustard bucket

the food would be difficult to find

and it would also undergo a slight

change

in both flavor and consistency

so but you’ve put it off long enough it

is either time to

count those meals all 12 of them as lost

or pour the collection into a blender

and then funnel it all down your gullet

why oh why did you have to choose this

as your new year’s resolution

speaking of resolving to make the world

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