Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast

that means that none of this is medical

advice

if you need medical advice or medical

care please

contact your doctor welcome to the jock

doc

podcast featuring dr london

smith this one goes out to all the jock

dock fans across the globe

in fact i’ma hit the air horn for every

single fan that we have

that was for you rowdy p yes introducing

your host dr london

smith hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host dr londonsmith.com

i would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners

we have received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as autonomic dysregulation and

arm wrestling so i will try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron hi dr london

hey hey you seem you seem kind of perky

today

yeah i’m in a bit of a you you might say

uh

a spicy saucy mood a little bit yeah

is there any particular reason for that

because

maybe i look i know

that christmas isn’t tomorrow or

anything like that but

you know it’s coming like right around

the corner so maybe

i got my favorite doctor a gift

wow okay wow so i

i guess you got it like yesterday or

today like recently

oh no i mean i’ve been playing this for

a while i got my favorite doctor a gift

and to get started all i need is just a

hundred dollar check

uh so so you already got the gift though

well yeah to get started i’ll need the

hundred dollar check

but then what you’re gonna get as a gift

is worth way more than that dr london

i okay so so i feel like you’re asking

me

and this is just what it sounds like to

me at

the onset it sounds like you’re asking

for me to pay for

the gift that you will get for me no i’m

just asking you

for just a simple 300 check just to get

me started

and then just the thing that you’ll get

will end up being wonderful and worth

more than that

just a simple 500 check

okay so and i haven’t noticed the price

increase here

i from 100 to 300 to 500

i so i’m not going to you know like you

have your finances i have mine

and you know it’s okay you don’t have to

get me

oh i combined those so you don’t have to

worry about that

you can buy okay yeah our finances are

debt all of that stuff it’s all it’s all

just like one

blob now so i i gotten i didn’t have

that

oh no i look last time i checked it

looked like you had a ton of debt

was the last time you checked after you

combined yeah oh yeah i combined it

months ago

yeah last time i checked was the other

day when i was doing our builds i

okay well um so that was our producer

cameron uh

also with us is digital in the hose

[Music]

did you do in the house do you love

me yes no i’m really asking do you love

me

because if you do i need to know

where do you keep your money

in a mattress in your sock

where do you keep your money

[Music]

where where do you keep your money

i looked in your mattress let me take

off your shoe let me see your sock

[Music]

do you keep your money

brand new and later cameron tells me

that we can expect a special guest

that’s right dr elena that’s great so

yeah i do look forward to that

uh but before we move on i would like to

address a bit of listener feedback

i found this note crammed into my

fortune cookie

when i ordered takeout last week uh

it was kind of an oddly like it looks

like it’d already been opened and then

someone put a note in

what kind of takeout uh yeah it was

this pizza and so the fortune cookie

that came with my pizza

yeah was uh yeah so so it had this note

in it

because pizza is a chinese invention yes

that’s what they don’t are you are you

sure about that i

and i don’t want to sound like i’m

stereotyping here but i

i thought it was an italian food that

italians claim it as their own and that

is what they’re famous for but it was

actually supposedly look i’m not gonna

claim to be an anthropologist or

anything

it was apparently came from some sort of

chinese dynasty

that was handed to the italians in some

sort of trading thing

i don’t remember exactly but it

works out perfectly because it you’re

now you’re getting fortune cookies with

your pizza

yeah well i’ve always gotten fortune

cookies with my pizza

that’s you know even even whenever i get

like whatever frozen pizza it comes with

a fortune cookie that’s

that’s pizza oh yeah i know i know that

yeah i’m just explaining for our

listeners who maybe live in like a weird

state

i don’t know what foods every state has

i can’t just assume that because we have

you know a typical you know pizza with a

fortune cookie that everyone over in you

know

tennessee has the same sort of same sort

of diet you know

yeah okay no that’s that’s reasonable

and they i don’t know if they have pizza

in tennessee

yeah i uh i they don’t that was why i

picked that place as an example okay

yeah okay so anyway the note in my

fortune cookie reads quote

spencer did you miss your therapy

session this week you

seem a little cranky l-o-l-god bless

xx end quote

so first of all let me thank you so much

to this listener for

reaching out to us via fortune cookie to

answer your question

and it is frustrating to have to repeat

this but

my name is not spencer nope

and maybe that is why i get so

frustrated

uh did i not introduce myself as

londonsmith.com

um yeah but did you tell them that

you’re not spencer

huh it’s because if you don’t say that

it’s like you’re expecting people to

know that but you’re not explicitly

saying that that seems like

maybe unfair expectations that you’re

placing on people dr london

see when you when you give someone your

name

you give someone a fact then it can

they can pretty safely rule out the

other

possible names okay are you telling me

or are you telling the person who wrote

that note

i i think i’m telling you because they

said spencer they’re calling you spencer

yeah so i’m telling

so clearly there was a miscommunication

between you two

and you’re telling me how to talk to

people well

because you took the the author of this

note

you know their side in this situation

i wanted to speak to you and more

broadly to them

and possibly whatever listeners would

think the same

i wanted to explain you know this

misconception so

if someone tells you their name

generally speaking

you can just know that that is their

name

and that their name is not something

else does that make sense

no not at all here let me let me do an

example hi

hello my name is what

my name is who my name is slikkism

shady uh hello there

my name is what my name is who my name

is this is

shady how are you today

that’s good uh what’s my name oh so i

so when i addressed you by the name that

you gave yeah but i didn’t see i didn’t

specify

my name my name isn’t cameron

so you can also safely assume that my

name is cameron and you’d be right

god listen listener spencer

the whoever’s writing dispenser whoever

this may be

i love you i support you thank you for

writing into the show

don’t look us in to dr london’s abusive

behavior

and if you could just send a check for

600 i can get started and you

you will get back probably ten times

that amount

okay uh and i just wanna emphasize like

my name is on the podcast logo like it’s

it’s everywhere

uh and it’s it’s just not spencer it’s

lana smith.com

dr lemonsmith.com but any case um

thank you for listening thank you for

listening i we do appreciate that you

don’t think someone saw

one of your usernames l grant s and

thought that might be oh that’s

yeah dr london grant spencer

the i mean maybe but if they’re

listening to the podcast then all

they’ve

seen like it’s all that they should have

seen by now is

dr londonsmith.com

but what if they’re not a listener to

the podcast what if they were a fan of

your old

zhang from 2004 oh you mean

london who gets all the ladies yeah yeah

i i guess i wouldn’t mind as much if

someone addressed me by that name either

um anyway we can go ahead and move on

from there but uh

i guess you made your you made a point

to some extent

uh so so to that listener thanks for

listening i definitely said a lot of

words and i said them with a lot of

conviction

and that’s basically all i can promise

that anyone will get out of this show

all right uh well now for today’s

medical topic

idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis

so idiopathic means that we do not know

the cause

uh and i remember that by you know

i think of idiot like you just you just

don’t know the cause

so idiopathic um pulmonary fibrosis

is a condition in which the lungs become

fibrosed for no

identifiable reason uh this this is more

common in men

and smokers and it presents with a

gradual onset of progressive

dyspnea which is uh difficulty breathing

and a non-productive cough

when i say i can definitely well no one

cares what you’re about to say

if i can uh i can definitely relate to

this because i

most of the stuff that i have going on

has no uh no apparent reason why it

happened

you know okay it all just sort of like

comes up out of nowhere kind of like

what you’re what you’re talking about

here like so you know my like i’ve been

struck you know i’ve been struggling

with stank foot for a long time now

yeah it’s most of what you talk about

yeah and so i’ve been struggling with

stank foot for a long time but there’s

no reason why that happened there’s no

apparent reason

that that that came up came across you

know what i mean i don’t even wear shoes

yeah so it’s not like it can be from

stinky shoes or something like that

yeah well i think it you know whenever

you suffered that wound and then you

you uh got that mud bath brought it

you know scoop it up from the creek and

then use it for your own personal foot

bath

uh and you put that exposed

you know the skin uh you put that

into there and you let it just

kind of uh just just

get infected that that’s probably the

reason

so again grow and see yes but don’t

worry anytime it

any time it starts to scab i rip that

thing right off so you don’t have to

worry about that

well so so my point there is that that

wouldn’t be idiopathic

because we actually know the cause do

you see

do you see the difference there no i

mean

like there’s no way to know the cause of

like why these

kind of things happen i think you could

say you know i do believe in karma

which a lot of people maybe don’t maybe

kind of think i’m crazy for

and so you know do i think okay you know

did the stink foot

come from that time that like i

i kicked that old witch

when she was trying to sell me goods

yeah

so and i thought okay you know that

would make sense she probably put a

curse on my stu

my stank foot well like i think maybe

the time whenever you

you were chopping wood and then you

and it was the wood just the the wood

paneling

in your house you were just chopping at

it and then you

accidentally hit your foot

and that was the open wound i think that

rather than

you know blaming it well no we just

talked about this i already covered in

mud so i took care of that that’s

not the issue yeah it just

just move on just continue on so um

uh non-productive cough i was saying uh

that’s whenever you don’t

cough anything up like there’s no sputum

production

so this is uh idiopathic pulmonary

fibrosis

is a devastating and unrelenting disease

although prognosis is variable the mean

survival

is only three to seven years after first

diagnosis

so diagnosis is first with x-ray chest

x-ray

revealing a ground glass or honeycomb

appearance or it may actually

appear normal a definitive diagnosis

requires a lung biopsy consistent with

usual interstitial pneumonia for the

cause to be idiopathic of course

you’re gonna have to go and rule out

other causes of pulmonary fibrosis

well and that’s really interesting you

say that like it you know it appears

normal because that

again i can relate to this kind of stuff

again

you you have no idea where this stuff is

coming from everything looks normal and

you don’t know you know this is where

medical

science kind of fails us you know like

for example you know the thing i have

where my mouth fills with blood

just kind of like continuously yeah but

i have

i mean do you have an alternate

because you once again you do keep

and i don’t get it you just keep

deliberately cutting inside of there

and it’s an odd form of self-harm

because you seem

like you don’t like the blood in your

mouth right

i hate it but again i don’t know how it

got there

it’s impossible to know where these

wounds and these diseases really come

from and again

i’m kind of a big believer in karma and

so i like to think

maybe like i want maybe one of the

people that i bit

going out you know throughout my day put

a curse on me like when i bit that witch

i did bite that same witch that i kissed

i’m so i guess now that you bring up the

witch again what made this person a

witch

was it on halloween that this happened

no no no i mean they were just they were

just a witch

she said i’m she said i’m an old witch

oh she said

she was trying to sell me yeah she was

trying to sell me like just some

goods there was like an eye of newt

there was some sort of

vaguely steaming bowl of kind of green

goopy stuff

and you said you i mean you naturally

encountered this person or just

and then i bit during your day yeah it

was just a noise that whole foods

and yeah and then you bit her

yeah huh which is hard because she was

standing you know this is like a buffet

line so

like she’s standing behind where all

like all the soups are

and it’s they’ve got like the sneeze

guard and stuff on it so i have to

really

get under there to get a to go kind of

get to get a chomp

huh okay well um

so so for idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis

no effective treatment is available

the majority of patients and that’s you

know over 70 percent they do not improve

with

therapy and these patients experience uh

progressive

and gradual respiratory failure that

being said

patients may find some benefit in

supplemental oxygen or

lung transplant and you say

you say like about the cutting the

inside of my

mouth that i’m doing it for no reason i

don’t like it

but it’s not for i don’t like it but

it’s not for no

reason it’s to build up a tolerance

because they

right now they get cut so easily when

i’m eating kettle chips

yeah so kettle chips the famously

the hardest and just crispiest and

you know most willing to

cut you chips yes that exist on the

market

they always cut the inside of my mouth

and so here i’m thinking

okay it’s probably like playing guitar

right like you play guitar

and then maybe it kind of hurts a little

bit if you’re playing like an acoustic

guitar but then

your fingers sort of build up a callous

and then it becomes really easy and you

don’t think about it anymore

and so if i can kind of build up some

scar tissue build up some calluses

on the inside of my mouth then these

delicious kettle chips that i

must eat will go down a lot

smoother and so yeah but so i mean again

it’s impossible to know

why my mouth is filling with blood all

the time i have to assume it’s the witch

stuff

and i can really relate to the patients

of your whatever your made-up disease

that you’re talking about or

i can’t remember i’ve been talking about

myself for so long yeah no

yeah you have uh what one one suggestion

i would make

rather than you know cutting the inside

of your mouth

uh which once again that that is a form

of self-harm

maybe just build up the calluses

similar to what you’re describing with

the the guitar uh

they don’t practice with blades

they practice with a guitar so if you

want to practice for those chips

just practice by eating more or just by

eating the chips

but then my mouth is going to be

sensitive and then i won’t be able to

enjoy the chips

so yeah i okay well

i i feel like we’re not gonna are you

done with your left yeah yeah are we

still talking about me

yes but we can we can finish both of

those i would be

happy to finish with both of those now

i’ll allow it okay all right we’ll move

on from there

[Music]

all right cameron do we have a sponsor

today that’s right dr london

but you might be excited to hear that

our sponsor

is actually sort of us

it’s our new merch okay

yes yes that sounds great so i mean i’ve

been telling you about this for a while

and i know you’ve been waiting for

me to finally show you but so i i’ve

been working on

a a jock dock card game

for a while now i i’m sure you’re

familiar with like apples to apples or

cards against humanity

and like games sort of like but ours is

a

the jock dock card game

where people play different you know

okay apples to apples

cards against humanity a person plays

one card

that says uh don’t mind me

i’m just here for some blank and then

someone else places a card that says

like boogers and so then it becomes

don’t mind me i’m just here for some

burgers our game is not that disgusting

and not that crass we don’t really do

that kind of stuff

our game is more like you put down a

card

and then it says dr london was trampled

by

and then someone else puts down a card

that says

oxen or for example here’s another one

dr london swam in the ocean oops

he got dragged down by and then someone

else might put

killer shark this doesn’t sound this

sounds very

specific in a way that well for one

thing

are all the cards about me dying

i guess it just depends because you know

there’s no follow-up with the cards

so like yes you’re dragged under the

water by a shark

but we don’t know the final outcome of

that scenario so who’s to say

you know yes you’re trampled by an oxen

you know by one oxygen by a single oxen

you i don’t know if you get up after

that it’s impossible to know

so here i’m gonna go ahead and play a

card

and it says when dr

london tried to commit suicide he put

blank and blank in his pockets

to weigh him down and then i’ll play

this other card

this one says stones and then

this one says uh a bomb

okay yeah and then so we’re just gonna

we’re and then and then we’re just gonna

attach those and then

isn’t that funny yes i

feel like so i know cards against

humanity especially is known for being

kind of

um kind of having dark humor oh yeah and

this is like

super dark humor so i mean like hey if

you’re lis if you’re squeamish

out there this isn’t the game for you

so it’s it’s dark humor but only

like towards me it sounds like like

people can’t this is the host of the

jock talk podcast these aren’t the

london

cards these are the jock dock podcast

cards

but the the cards do specifically say

dr london it’s not it’s not saying the

jock doc podcast

it’s the post of the dog talk i mean

we’re saying the same thing i guess i i

don’t really understand what the issue

is

if it says podcast or if it says you

know

london smith is getting his skull

crushed in

with an old pan that

had a bunch of bacon grease on it and

because the bacon was crackling some of

it had gotten on the side

so while the pan is cracking his skull

it’s also getting grease all over his

face and so he’s getting a bunch of

pimples

yeah and so so i feel like these are all

very specifically targeted

uh not even to me but at me

and i like so there’s that aspect that

you know i feel like i’m being it’s kind

of attacking towards me

but it’s there’s also the fact that

whoever is playing the game

you know a lot of the appeal of cards

against humanity is

it’ll be about you know some some

lots of other figures or uh

you know different subjects in pop

culture this is

but you’re getting so you’re your

concern is like the

the diversity of subjects because

they’re i mean yes too

it’s not just all about you dr london

okay okay so let me so you can just have

a little

card okay you can pull this card out and

it says

cameron see do you see producer cameron

i see it okay

smashes dr london’s head in

with blank and then we’ve got another

card here it’s the same cardigan so

fortunately it is a pan

that you had been cooking bacon and so

i’ve gotten grease on the side

so the grease gets on dr london’s face

so it gets filled with pimples

yeah so i mean

if it’s our merch if it sells then i

guess okay but it’s it just sounds

very much especially with those

particular cards it sounds like

you’re trying to make it a point that

you are violent towards me which is not

entirely untrue

it’s a game so that which

isn’t true the definition of a game is

that it’s not true

so is it is that the definition of a

game yeah it’s that it’s

it’s a game so how can that be true

here you pull a card okay yeah

so this one says

dr london walks up to the bus and gets

hit by

okay and then this other one okay

another bus

and that one seems that’s odd

uh i i guess it just fits with certain

cars and depends on how you play

well i think the i think the idea is

that the bus you were getting

into was sort of it was it was sort of

pulling out of the bus

lane it was ready to go and you were

like hey stop

so you’re standing in the bus line the

bus is like kind of diagonal kind of

moving out of the bus lane

you’re standing at the bus lane when

another bus of course

is in the bus lane comes to try to stop

and uh runs you over

like and explaining the scenario doesn’t

really help

the problem well i think it’s good

advice

you’re talking about how you know these

cards aren’t help

did you say they’re not helpful because

i think this is teaching people

hey maybe you shouldn’t stand in the bus

lane like even if the bus is pulling

away you need to wait for another bus

still on the sidewalk don’t be standing

in the road

okay so you you see these cars as

cautionary tales for you

with me as the example well no for you

because it sounds like this is what’s

going to happen because you were just

shocked at the idea that something like

this could happen

so it’s i mean now i’m really glad that

we made this game because i don’t know

where you would be without it okay

yeah they are fine um if it

you know if it sells then that’s great

i’m glad that we finally have merch

honestly

uh and that is sort of the motto of this

podcast is

if it sells then we back it yes

and i don’t matter what it is where it

came from who knows about it

who’s paying taxes on it irrelevant

right any case we can um

well i can go ahead and say so it’s the

jock dock podcast

game is that what it’s called card game

the the jock tack podcast card game so

not really hinting and then you want to

say

you want to say the slogan which is

uh yeah um dr london

not so boring yeah no that’s the slogan

for the podcast this looking for the

game

is dr london tried to put on

rocket boots to go to the moon but they

exploded his feet off

and then he bled his brains out through

his stumps

through my foot that’s the slogan on the

box you can see yeah

it i mean to me it seems a little

lengthy but

uh if that’s if that’s what moves the

product i

like it’s not doing harm to me if it

sells

it’s wells okay all right well um

so it’s a jock doc podcast card game

uh and that’s available just on our on

jocktalkpottyhouse.com or no you’re

gonna have to

sort of kind of collect these pieces

from people you know around town

okay like so we’ve left some at like the

butcher

and we’ve left some at like the ice

cream parlor and we’ve left some

with like the priest and we’ve left some

with like the tailor

and you’ve got to kind of go to each one

and kind of put the clues together

uh okay well that sounds difficult but

so

they’ll buy each card from one of them i

mean i guess it just depends on how they

handle the product i don’t know i didn’t

talk with every single one about like

how they’re distributing it

okay all right well you know as long as

we’ll see if we make a pro profit off

this i guess if it sells

you might as well yeah all right so um

all right i guess we can move on from

there then if it sells

noel wells

[Music]

all right uh cameron you said that we

have a special guest today

that’s right dr actually is special the

right word

how would i describe someone who is the

most special guest that we’ve ever had

on this entire show i

i don’t know but maybe just once again i

feel like you say this about a lot of

guests

and i don’t want to you know undersell

certainly

but i also don’t want to over promise uh

okay so how do you want me to introduce

our guest

okay just actually just redo this here

here let’s just redo this

do you want to just redo this okay go

ahead and and say what you just said

uh about uh let’s let’s

introduce the guest accurately is that

yeah no let’s

let’s redo that part okay like the part

the introducing the guest okay

so do it uh so cameron you said that we

have a special guest today is that right

yep that’s right we got a special guest

who’s a big dum-dum because i guess we

hate our guests

and none of them are the most special

guests that we’ve ever had i guess

that’s how we’re treating them

and that’s what we’re saying from now on

so welcome guest i’m so sorry that we

had to call you

these mean names to appeal to dr

london’s sensibilities

i apologize but hello hello

thank you for having me yeah yeah you’re

welcome so

uh my name is dr londonsmith.com and

this is our producer cameron

uh what was your name hi my name is hank

hardbody

leading children’s edutainment icon

okay oh wow wow not you’re not

the hank hard body right yes the hank

hard buddy of squats for tots limited

oh wow i this is incredible

thank you for for being on our show

any time i’m very glad to be invited i’m

i’m so enamored with the joy of

spreading

physical fitness to people of all ages

yeah i’m just

i’m sorry i’ve been quiet i’m just like

because you taught me so much growing up

oh oh i’ve i’ve been through this before

yeah i and i don’t normally like fan out

like this but i’m

uh for listeners i i do you want

no you you explained yourself a little

bit because i’m i’m still

yeah hank can you tell our our listeners

a little

the the i can’t imagine there’s not

anyone who doesn’t know

but if you could just but yeah maybe if

you could just for the for those two

people or whatever

maybe you could just describe living

under a rock for their entire lives

yeah can you just tell our guests a

little bit about you all right i’ll give

them the genesis

picture this seventh grade classroom

1973 some boring medical film playing on

the tv

some doctor telling me what i need to

know about

heart health and cholesterol and i think

to myself

i could snap that man over my knee and

why shouldn’t i

that was the day hank hardbody was born

wow

okay so see

so it i wouldn’t say that tells our

listeners who you are

right now it just sounds like you’re a

man who wanted to assault someone you

saw on tv

in seventh grade is that i mean is that

how you would describe yourself

that event planted a seed in me that i

watered throughout the rest of middle

school and into early high school

and then through the process of getting

my ged

yeah we don’t have to go through every

level of education

um in terms of but i do appreciate it so

you did go through high school but you

still got your ged

well i made it through the first couple

years but then i just couldn’t cope with

school lunches

they were so unhealthy so nutritionally

disbalanced

wouldn’t stand for that and that’s i

mean that’s actually something that you

kind of focus on a lot with a lot of

your work is kind of having a balanced

meal i mean is that what you’re here to

talk about with us

today yes i’m here to promote a new line

of steaming bowls of green goopy stuff

for children okay

and so just to to clarify so what you’re

wearing right now

and you know for our listeners you

always wear this suit could you describe

the suit a little bit for us

yeah i call it my muscle shirt it zips

up in the back and it’s got a full

diagram of all the major muscle groups

pecs biceps tries the other ones

yeah and you you do bring up it zips up

in the back

was it necessary for it to zip so low

the last thing that you want when you’re

in a room full of screeching children is

a wardrobe malfunction that could result

in

liability issues

yeah that’s true but you also made us

zip you up when you came into the studio

today so it does sound like

it seems like you might just have

trouble with it that might be solved by

a shorter zipper i’m just i’m just

throwing out ideas

i don’t want to tell you how to do your

job you’ve obviously been doing this for

a long time

i’m going to be honest with you hank

hard body’s lats are so big he can’t

even turn around completely let alone

reach the zipper on this wow

wow okay that is very true you are i

mean

svelte definitely yeah you’re

monstrously

fit would be that you’re you’re jacked

thank you for noticing but the uh

correct medical term i believe is

shred yes yeah oh

yeah i’m so sorry i’m not a doctor i’m

just a producer so i don’t i don’t know

special words and kind of medical jargon

like that

but i mean could you tell le so uh uh

how about just tell everyone what you do

full time like what what what is your

job what are you known for

today as an adult pass your ged

past any form of college or

post-collegiate

uh classes you might have taken just we

can go back

to the now we can go back to that stuff

but just just to get a baseline for

the the present day so not including any

of the various certification courses

none of that well i mean i’d like to

hear about a few of those

later i spend most of my days on tour

going from elementary school to

elementary school

taking over their hour block for pe and

teaching all of the children of the

world

how to take care and cultivate their

physical form

okay so and that’s why i mean if you see

you see all these kids around who are

just

let’s let’s be honest jacked as hell

and for a while i didn’t really

understand what was going on

until i realized like oh these are kids

who are inspired

by the genius health and fitness

attributes of hank hardbach

because you know sometimes you know i’d

be at toys r us or whatever and i’d see

maybe a four-year-old maybe a

five-year-old or a three-year-old

who had gigantic muscles and he’s

wearing sort of a do-rag

and he’s wearing like a muscle shirt and

i have to think

that doesn’t seem right but then i when

i think of all the people that you’ve

inspired i’m sure you’ve come across a

lot of people who try to imitate you

haven’t you

oh yeah there’s been no shortage of

imitators have to cop

some of the fame that i’ve accrued for

myself

oh wow so when i was describing like

like kids trying to be like you you see

them as

threats sort of people threats trying to

steal your throne

yeah the young will eat the old if you

let them you gotta stay fit that’s true

stay on your game and this this is an

interesting point because

you know uh there’s a childhood obesity

epidemic

and so it’s been an odd thing to see

that’s still there but there’s in

almost oh those kids are fatter those

kids are

way fatter than whenever they took that

statistic but then you’ve got these

other

kids yeah which this is a smaller group

but they seem to be more voided

up and therefore stronger and louder

and you know mr hardbody it seems like

maybe you you’ve encouraged um

this more aggressive behavior

yeah cool ass kids who are jacked to

hell

there’s definitely been some noticeable

stratification my pr people have been

showing me these numbers

as the mean weight of children goes up

we see also the mean muscle mass of your

average 8th grader is increasing

exponentially

we don’t know what this means for

society but someday i hope to see

a utopia of physically fit youngsters

vying for control against each other oh

i was thinking maybe sort of just like

uh

like an army of of young followers of

yours but you’d rather them compete

amongst themselves

for you know resources or power or stuff

like that that’s what it kind of sounds

like

yeah definitely a return to nature motif

sort of running through

throughout my body of work yeah big

like unabomber type of type of type of

stuff going on

is that some kind of horse uh

yeah i mean sort of like it’s kind of

like a horse who had sent

bombs to a bunch of other horses oh dear

so no horse yeah not dear

my mistake yeah so there’s

there’s one thing i i really didn’t

expect this to come up

you know intentionally by

you mr hard body but it seems that we’ve

gone right into it which is that

the controversies because of course we

all looked up to you growing up we all

learned so much about fitness from you

but you know at as you mentioned you’re

hoping for

a society that

it sounds very reminiscent of you know

like the hunger games kind of situation

like

just physical fitness uh to the point

that it’s sort of survival of the

fittest

and but like you really target children

with this stuff and so i’m

i’m wondering if you could speak to some

of the people who have

criticized this mentality

and this this uh campaign that you’ve

been running well in camps he’s been

running

as well i mean there’s summer camps that

sort of function as

a mini version of this utopian idea yeah

kind of like a militia

situation hank hank hard bodies

children’s crossfit camps ltd yes

to my critics i will say as i always

have

that i will have an interview with any

one of them and discuss any of these

hardball

questions that they want to throw at me

if

they subscribe to my program first

because how are you going to criticize

something if you haven’t even tried it i

mean come on

absolutely and you you know what i mean

like if you actually

care about this then you might have to

put

in a little work to criticize you you

know what i mean like

you can’t just go on twitter and say oh

you’re you’re you shouldn’t be doing

these to

doing this to these kids why haven’t my

son contacted me since he went to your

camp

like sign up for the program and then

figure this stuff out on your own right

i will say though about the allegations

of us uh cutting off contact between the

children and parents

we do that specifically to curb the

problem of a spinal issue called

smartphone neck

wherein the children are always looking

down at a 45 at their

tablet or eye device and uh it’s just

necessary for the process you don’t want

to

kink your neck that early on that makes

sense

i mean kids these days on their phones

all the time i mean come on so

this does bring me to another question

very very closely related

so you say come to your camps um to to

you know experience it but you do have

an age limit because once again you are

very specifically targeting children so

and i i’d hate to like if this is news

to you but

a lot of the journalists who have been

concerned and criticizing

they are grown adults they are not you

know they are not children

so is there a method for them to i’d

like to thank you for asking this

question because people aren’t asking me

this question this is an important

question and i’m so glad that you’ve

asked it

because what we really need to be asking

is why aren’t there more child

journalists

and i think it’s because not all of

these kids are subscribed to the program

i mean we’re putting out kids they’re

they’re physical fitness trainers

they’re chiropractors they’re going into

sports medicine

eventually we might get a journalist you

know it’s kind of a kind of a lottery

system

so you’re you’re giving them degrees

like in certification and training we

are not an accredited institution at

this time but we are seeking that option

in future

we can only give uh certificates which

they sign

sometimes in crayon uh

yeah okay and when you say they

you mean because normally is my

understanding that certain

uh certificates aren’t signed by the

recipient they’re signed by

you know the dean and whatever but

you’re saying that i guess

your staff is also composed of children

oh no you have to sign the back of your

degree to endorse it did you not do that

dr london

uh i it doesn’t count you gotta you

gotta

there’s a line on the back of it you

gotta sign that to endorse it before

before you can cash it in essentially

uh but i wanna hear i wanna hear let’s

forget the controversies let’s forget

the haters for a second i want to hear

more about what was it what were you

what product were you talking about

green goop

yeah we have a new line of uh meal prep

once a day supplements called hank

hardbody steaming bowl of green goopy

stuff

okay and is that is that all the details

on it does it have stuff

what is it made of i guess would be well

we’re not at liberty to discuss the

proprietary ingredients but uh feta

cheese definitely plays a strong role in

this you cannot eat it if you are

lactose intolerant

uh i’m gonna go ahead and guess that’s

what’s in you that’s the smell coming

out of your bag right now

is that the goop or is that just a bunch

of feta cheese like

i can’t that’s sort of the feta in the

raw you know i prefer to

to experience it head on i don’t like

masking it in the green goop

okay okay yeah yeah so i mean what you

you know you talk a lot in on your on

your show

and you’re you know when you go around

different schools about

having a balanced diet is this is this

what contributes to this what what

is a balanced diet a balanced diet is

the most important part of getting your

body right

getting your body right is the most

important part of getting your mind

right forget what they teach you in

school there’s no three meals there’s no

pyramids

you’ve ever tried to eat a pyramid it

sucks what you’ve got to do is

that sounds terrible you gotta get this

green goopy stuff don’t even think about

it don’t look close your nose

just absorb it it’s fuel it powers you

and that’s a balanced diet okay

see so you’re saying that the balance is

the entire diet

it’s all you need for the longest time

we were blending boneless skinless

chicken breasts together with cream of

mushroom soup and

we just weren’t getting the same results

that we do with this goopy stuff

and what results are those we’re seeing

a three percent increase in muscle gain

and a two percent decrease in asking

questions

oh wow and i mean that must be

important for holding on to your i mean

your strong

fan base i mean i i’m part of the fan

base dr london’s part of the fan base

yeah i i i was i

and i hate to because you mentioned the

asking questions thing

that’s not normally a statistic that i

you know see associated with

uh you know nutritional diets

asking questions as normally considered

to be a healthy thing

people that’s how you learn a lot of

times uh

and i i i kind of have one of these

questions

for you let me hear it brother yeah

so and and i’m sorry that this may sound

like i’m borrowing the words of some of

these

adult grown adult journalist but

um they have been

there have been rumors at least that

you’re trying to train up

a child army

to i like i these are just

words that i don’t want to throw them

around casually but

just by definition a child army to

forge your new utopia um

and well you know it’s like cameron said

earlier

i do have a strong fan base in fact you

might say

the strongest just by nature of the work

that i do

and i think that intimidates a lot of

these other institutions like the media

or the government and honestly if your

system can be overthrown by an

organized group of physically fit

mentally right

children then what do you really have

anyway

yeah i mean you’ve got a good point like

if

if you’re taken down by a a

large group of incredibly jacked kids

sort of just incurring violence to

whatever’s around

i mean how can you even say that your

country has a military you know what i

mean like if you can’t

put a stop to that it’s all part of the

plan i mean broken bones will heal but

pride

that’s something that can be damaged

forever

yeah well and speaking of which the with

the broken bones thing

because and this is

your your your camps are notoriously

sort of quarantined even before

quarantining was kind of the usual

and uh you know not a lot of word gets

out but the little bit that gets

out uh apparently is about

you know the weapons that you’re

bringing in and could you

could you speak to that because once

again i want i’m looking to dispel

rumors but you do have to address them

you know what i mean

just to to wipe the slate clean so to

speak

and i thank you for giving me the

opportunity to address this because

i mean in every shopping plaza in every

county in america there’s a dojo and

that dojo imports say 17 000 cases of

nunchucks or

throwing stars or bo staffs a year

nobody bats an eye

so i don’t see why it’s such a big deal

when we put in these massive orders for

martial arts weaponry this is always

something interesting that i guess i

never really thought of but

sort of in the same way that you’ve

taught kids how to rethink

health and a diet and exercise you’ve

sort of

rethought the idea of

martial arts weapons like for example a

handgun

a lot of the stuff that you’re buying

are handguns

is that is that right well that’s true

but if you if you’ve seen clearly one of

the uh the movies in our canon the hank

hardbody movie canon

equilibrium you’ll be familiar with the

concept of a gun kata

and for our audience can you can you

describe what that is

well much like a normal kata in martial

arts you it’s a series of practiced

moves and angles you make with your

joints

uh except this time you’re holding a

handgun as well yes

sorry and i should clarify that uh that

is a well-known that’s a christian bail

movie

and uh i you know i’m not

as i wouldn’t say i’m as entrenched in

your teachings

as i used to be just because you aren’t

you know i’m not in school where they’re

coming around so

i mean you did come to my medical school

uh but it seemed like you were surprised

that

there were no children present um but

yes

and and so i did watch the movie at you

know whenever it was a well-known actor

uh and i didn’t i didn’t realize that

this was

so you’re training all of these children

to to use weapons in a very precise way

so that even if

it’s all it’s dark and there’s no one

like they just have heightened

perception and they can take these out

take out all these bad guys uh

i get to what are you getting at i i’m

wondering

is it because you talk about how

governments just feel threatened by you

are you threatening governments or

local authorities much like the ancient

art

of judo we believe at the hank hardbody

limited corporation

in not applying pressure directly if i

exercise a threatening presence on those

around me

that’s no fault of mine i’ve worked hard

to live the kind of life i want to lead

and if that scares the government or

people in line at the grocery store then

i

i don’t know what i can do to help them

other than to try and get them into this

program if they are indeed below the

ages

of 18. well i think to be more specific

a lot of the the questions of whether

you’re not you’re intimidating

governments come from like the videos

and sort of

weird mail that you keep sending to

various governments

sort of saying like i mean the

one the like one that had leaked was one

that you would send to

the government of iceland saying hey can

you

mark off uh six acres for me and my

militia and if you don’t

your body’s gonna look like my body but

like reverse and i guess that meant dead

i didn’t really get it it was a very

confusing message

but i mean what what what is all that

about well that was just a little bit of

a misunderstanding i think some things

got lost in translation when i said i

wanted his body to look like mine but

reverse

i mean that i wanted him to have the

most jacked legs in the universe

and uh sort of a reverse dorito shaped

body as opposed to me

brought at the shoulders narrow with the

legs

and you sent this to the government of

iceland with a message

cut out in magazine letters

and insisting on a plot of land yeah you

know you get a lot of things just by

asking i realize that with showbiz and

if you

if you’re willing to extend that and put

yourself out there you’ll be surprised

what you get back and uh

they didn’t give us six acres but they

gave us one and

that’s really the most important part

and did they oh yeah that’s huge

was there a reason why you said you know

reverse

with muscle wise like why why did you

say that you would like you did you

didn’t want to give him what you had you

wanted to give him

a reverse muscle uh i guess hypertrophy

reverse power yeah because i this is uh

i don’t want to talk about somebody

who’s not in the room but he is

just the biggest fan of field goal

kicking

and okay okay so i knew that if i

couldn’t

if i could make that happen for him he

would be overjoyed

into possibly giving us those additional

five acres okay

so so you had mentioned earlier how

uh it’s not your fault if

people around you are intimidated um

but but you have sort of

sort of expanded generally to like your

camps have swallowed up small towns i

guess is the best way to put that

um so there are there are towns that

are no longer accessible to the public

and i’m wondering if you could speak on

that like even satellites can’t get

photos

inside and i’m just wondering

do you know what is that

your non-threatening presence correct

well you know it’s it’s really

i’m so glad that you brought this up

because it highlights another tragic

aspect of what’s happening in our

country right now

these towns are unable to support

themselves they’re getting no help

the biggest industry in town is our camp

and then

the camp store becomes the only place

where you can buy

certain necessities and so even the

parents have to sort of convert their

regular us dollars into our hank hard

body coins

that they can exchange for goods and

services and

we like to protect our investments and

so when we build that wall around the

entirety of the town and put up the

anti-satellite dish

we we’re really just investing in the

community as a as a whole wow

and you know everyone everyone these

days is so political and they’re

focusing on like

oh what can we do in washington but here

is somebody who actually cares about

the community and actually cares about

giving back

and i mean hank that that is an amazing

story i i appreciate yeah i’ll give you

back i’ll give you arms i’ll give you

chest i’ll give you legs it’s

it’s all for the taking you just have to

seize it yes

yeah that’s that’s great and so once

again i don’t want to be

you know i love that you educate people

and you encourage

fitness um i you know i

once again i i have always kind of

questions about you not only did you

raise the anti-satellite thing but then

you also

you know launched your own satellite

reportedly shot down another satellite

uh and so i just i feel like people are

gonna misconstrue this

as an act of aggression and

uh could you tell you know just our

listeners so they

understand um you know why

why did you take down the satellites

and and well and weaponize your own

satellites i guess is the bigger

question

much like the ancient art of tai chi

i believe in force without aggression

see

that satellite that was one percent r

cannon

in 99 gravity and i think that says

something about the state of satellites

above our nation

um okay well

i honestly i feel like that that’s all

the questions that i

had i want to know what so right now it

sounds like you

and your army of children are really

focused on pushing this green goopy

stuff

but what’s next well

once every house in america has a bowl

of green groupie stuff

and every child spends their summers at

hank hardbody’s

summer crossfit camps i feel like the

next step will be to spread out

to the other nations of the world we’ve

already begun translating my videos into

canadian and spanish so

i look forward to the future and

what’s next and i mean can we

i mean do you have any of the goopy

stuff on you can we

do you think we could test some of that

oh absolutely you’re gonna want to

microwave this for about eight minutes

before you eat it and let it sit for

nine but

not twelve okay so

do we can we could start that

now because we actually do have another

thing we have to do

and i hate that we have to do it but we

do have

good call we have chores to do all right

so let me pop this in

beep beep beep boop beep boop boop

[Music]

so cameron you want to put down that

game and do the microwave real quick

oh yeah let me do that

[Music]

all right uh so that’s okay so yeah

while that’s cooking

we can do you’re talking about the chore

wheel is what you’re talking about and

we have to do

it we i know we got to do it i i’m kind

of okay with it now i’ve come around to

it for our listeners

people who haven’t listened to the show

maybe your new listener maybe even

listened to this in a while

uh basically we had this gigantic pile

of chores that has built up over the

last year this huge to-do list

that we’ve been neglecting i mean let’s

be honest i wasn’t even like vacuuming

or

doing the dishes or any of the stuff i

was supposed to be doing i was kind of

just throwing everything away and i hope

that we get that chore today actually

because it’s

the dishes are pretty bad no i threw

away

all the dishes in the dishwasher and all

that the sink water and all that stuff

it’s just in a

it’s in a bucket on your bed okay well

so i

threw that away so we shouldn’t have to

deal with that any longer

but anyway so we we’ve got all of the

stuff that we got to do on this chore

list and once a week we’re just trying

to

knock something out on the list we spin

the wheel whatever chore it lands on we

have to do it whether we like it or not

dr london or you know what actually dj

dylan

i want to hear how what it sounds like

when you

spin the wheel what an honor yes

here we go

all right we got oh no not this one

oh yeah i know we

i mean it’s honestly a good thing that

we got this one now

yeah no given the timing like it’s we

would have had to get it done

like yeah most of our chores we actually

get done

too late for them to be useful but this

one i believe

yeah i believe we have time you should

be able to get it done in time yeah so

everyone knows that the best streaming

service around is quibby

and quibby has done this sort of genius

moves

where instead of continuing to be a

streaming service

they’re going to pour all those billions

of dollars into one

kick-ass huge ass movie

yes and it’s i mean it’s still on the

the app

so it’s oh yeah you can still only watch

on your phone

but it’s just that’s just what the

quibby app is going to be and only for a

few minutes at a time is

yes oh right you pay 10 a month

still comes with advertisements and it’s

split up in 10 minute increments

and it’s about a four and a half hour

long movie

well that’s what they estimate based on

the screenplay

yeah it could go longer given that you

know i think

the general rule is like one page one

minute but some of the pages

specifically have like 20-minute breaks

in them

it’s a whole thing but regardless here’s

the problem that they’ve run into is

that they’ve been casting this thing

but they just can’t find the people

perfect

for this movie like they reached out to

emma stone

and you know she said no but you know

they were like i didn’t even want her

anyway like we didn’t even we weren’t

even

thinking about her and they were like oh

you know what i emailed jon hamm

and you know he but he’s busy but like i

didn’t even want i couldn’t even picture

john him in that role

so they were saying a lot of stuff so i

was thinking

and also the chore was thinking and also

quibby’s thinking that we the three of

us

might be actually perfect for these

roles but they need an audition tape

first

yeah so uh mr hard body is there any

chance that

you could lend your fame to us on this

one

all right all right you seem like some

good boys so i’ll chip in

perfect yes yes that’s okay okay okay

so uh okay so i mean we’re all it’s

gonna be uh what what

is is there a word for a dial is it a

trial log if

if there’s three people involved yeah so

here the script for the trial log

we’re gonna pass these scripts for the

trial log and i mean

dr london could you read the the title

of this

i mean it’s it’s untitled quibby project

right now yeah in parentheses

the yeah so it’s uh chanky drangle

the horse riding story

shanky trangle yes so where we’ve got

we’ve passed out the scripts we’re just

going to go ahead and read

yes unfortunately we should you know

clarify who’s reading for who so for me

i’m reading for uh miss dunkler

and i i know that’s not conventional

generally like

for you know but but you know we’re

they’re trying to go broad and diverse

with these roles so

as a as a white male i’m going to try to

play this um

this female yeah

and uh mine i mean like it seems like

they wanted a specific actor for this

role but

you know apparently they’re coming to us

for the role so my character is alec

baldwin

oh yeah in as an actor in the movie yes

uh no i did misread it so uh i am

reading for

uh miss property sorry i i

had the part highlighted confused right

right right right

and and and uh mr hard body what who

what character are you are you gonna be

reading for

it it just says horse but

there’s a lot of spoken lines here i’m

this seems like one of those sci-fi

pictures

uh it’s not sci-fi but that is the

mystery of chanky drangle i don’t want

to spoil anything

but uh and it’s gonna be so it’s gonna

be cold read for you

um gonna be kind of brand new but i mean

look mr hard body it is

you know the subtitle the it’s a horse

riding story that’s a caption

so imagine how significant of a rule

so yeah and so let me let me let me uh

open this up to the first page

and it starts with it starts with me

okay yes

uh so i’m i’ll go ahead and read the

stage directions here

uh alec baldwin wakes up from a drunken

stupor

he’s late for the snl rehearsal but he

doesn’t care he’s a huge name

so he just texts lauren from his phone

hey man

i’m gonna be late for the rehearsal but

uh you know i’ll be there for the cold

open or whatever

then he gets a call on the phone

it’s none other than miss

what’s-her-face

hello i’m miss propheton and i’m proper

as ever

hey would you like to go down to the

horse riding range

alec thinks about it for a second he’s

like you know what

i bet like keenan or beck or something

can just

play trump this week i’m kind of tired

of this you know what miss proper 10

i’m down let’s do this who are you again

yeah so i’m the the master horse

trainer for you know uh competitive

reading and writing writing spelled both

ways

writing spelled both ways smash cut two

horse stables

the horse prepares what seems to be a

lengthy speech

oh my god if i have to have another

person

sit on my back and yell at me all day i

am gonna snap

when was the last time they let me ride

around and eat the grass

i’m so sick of oats i could burst

mrs cropperton walks in

oh god wow i’m sorry to interrupt your

lengthy speech

but you got to do your reading lessons

and possibly some riding lessons

if you know what i mean mrs properton

gives the horse a big old kiss right on

the lips

come on man we have a professional

relationship i am not a man

i am miss properton but thank you

so let’s get out the books

miss property could you maybe

hold up the book to one side of my face

instead of putting it down the middle

it’s

real hard for me to see this way

oh i’m sorry i’ll just get a little

closer miss property

baldwin takes off her dress

oh my

it’s mighty hot out today ain’t it

oh oh i’m sorry uh is the gardener

coming in

oh uh it was nothing uh

uh let me um i i had these books for me

anyway this is property and can’t find

her dress so she gets a barrel

with suspenders and she’s wearing that

now that’s her outfit alec baldwin

walks in he’s hammered what are you

doing here again

oh hey what’s up horse good to see you

back at the range

yeah what what am i doing well you were

here

to help me teach horse

how to do some reading and some

writing if you know what i mean all

right here

here’s all you here’s all you need to

know horse in terms of reading

is sometimes the cue card is going to

say some stuff and

lauren’s riding your ass and he’s

telling you you need to stick to the cue

cards and not be fumbling as much

you don’t have to do any of that you’re

doing this as a favor

okay it’s not even like you’re making a

ton of money off of this you were a

movie star

you’re right you’re right i am who am i

taking this flip from

mrs properton well well i never the

horse begins to eat mrs property

that’ll show you next time i want to do

update

and scene wow well there’s one more part

it does say

with the remaining skull the horse curb

stomps mrs proper tim

like in american history x that’s what

this

sorry i guess the stage when i said end

scene i i always say that when my lines

are done

uh which i guess come to think of it

not that helpful no i think

i think that is the end of the scene

well i meant it before the same

directions in any case

um yeah that was that was great uh thank

you mr hard body

yeah thank you mr hardway that was an

amazing i mean just being able to see

you act like that was incredible i i

just seeing a pro do his job and it’s

amazing y’all are real real good to hank

i’m gonna remember this when the time

comes

yeah so one thing when the

when the time for the quibby project

comes oh oh yeah absolutely what a great

mystery i think the horse did it yeah

yeah the the great murder mystery so

one i don’t know if you guys caught in

there but

does does miss property try to

[Music]

you know commit bestiality

i feel like she was trying to come onto

the horse i’m so glad you brought that

up it did not seem appropriate like i’m

not okay with

that like bestialities

it seems weird to me well you knew the

source material i mean you you know that

this is a modern adaptation of the mr

hands viral video

so you knew what this was gonna be yeah

and i i know i had read the script

beforehand

it’s just i guess i wanted to make it

clear to our listeners like

i you know it’s not okay uh

that and that’s we were depicting

something that um

i i can’t really reveal anything because

we got an advanced copy of

aspects of the script but she gets her

comeuppance

i guess is what to convey there oh yeah

she gets curb stomped to hell yeah oh i

guess that wasn’t

yeah i do think that the horse in this

script

would be able to consent i mean he was

giving a huge speech

it seems like a lot of the ethical

issues that usually come with bestiality

are sort of null and void yes

with a a horse taking you know writing

and reading

and with him saying writing so really

that he

it sounded like he was not okay with it

no yeah and you know she found a barrel

with suspenders pretty quickly

but you know this is art this is what

art is is sometimes it challenges your

preconceived notions of society and how

things should function

yeah anyway uh so thank you so much mr

hardly that’s what quibby is now

quibby is chanky drangle the horse

writing story

uh yeah so let’s go ahead and just

submit that

great all right all right um

okay yeah so that’s already submitted uh

i guess i guess it’s time to wrap it up

so

thank you so much yeah uh mr hardbody

hey well

hank mr hardbody is there anything else

that you wanna you wanna close out on i

mean you had mentioned a second ago

about how um you’re gonna you know

because of how nice london and i were

you’re gonna remember that

for the coming times and stuff like that

i mean yeah i

i really appreciate all that you’ve done

for me coming on let me set the record

straight we have been

booted from several other podcasts

attempting to address

these hateful rumors going around about

me and my company

and you know i think that’s really gonna

reflect on your social credit score when

it comes time

for the hankpocalypse huh

okay and is that like a hank apocalypse

is that like a toyota thing

it’s exactly like toyotathon except when

you use ford trucks

okay okay yeah so is there any way for

our um our listeners to to keep up with

you afterwards

or i guess do you have anything to

promote

in any way well you know i’m doing real

well right now but

i am sponsoring a young child from

florida right now

by the name of jaren dooling and what he

would like is for you to go to

daytime delusions on facebook and

instagram

and just if you’re feeling the spirit if

you feel it move you

if you enjoyed some hank hardbody you

could give us a follow or

a lock and hit the bell or whatever it

is the kids say

wow and you know it’s important to do

things for the less fortunate

yes the scrawny and weak among us yeah

and that’s great that you’re

you’re doing that for them okay uh all

right well

you know that was uh mr hank hard body

uh my name is dr londonsmith.com and

this is our producer cameron

uh also thank you to digital and the

host

[Music]

my name is

[Music]

yes

[Music]

a balanced diet is the most important

part of getting your body right

getting your body rights the most

important part of getting your mind

forget what they teach you in school

there’s no three meals there’s no

pyramids

you’ve never tried to eat a pyramid it

sucks what you’ve got to do is

you gotta get this green stuff don’t

even think about it don’t look close

your nose

just absorb it

this has been the jock dock podcast

see ya

[Music]

the tire marks end here it has been a

harrowing journey to track it this far

but you hardly had a choice in the

matter you did not trust the authorities

to take care of the theft

so you did not even bother to call them

no no this was an endeavor that you had

to undertake all on your own

as you venture closer to the property

you see that the tire marks stopped just

short of the yard full of lush green

grass and tall trees with overhanging

branches

you stare with disgust at the tire swing

in the yard in front of you

what a sick monster to just up and steal

a

to spoil some loser kids

speaking of brightening someone’s day

don’t forget to leave a five star review

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