Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast see

that means that none of this is medical

advice okay

so if you need medical advice or medical

care please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring

dr london smith can you

smell what the jock is cooking nope me

neither

introducing your host dr

london smith

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring

i’m your host dr londonsmith.com

i would like to begin by apologizing to

our listeners

we have received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that i’ve been using

such as angular stomatitis and

pizzazz so i’ll try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron

oh hey what’s up

hey did you sound kind of

i don’t know did you just wake up or

no i didn’t just wake up but just sort

of like uh

this is kind of who i am i guess you

haven’t seen me

in the last few days so you probably

don’t know that i

became goth between the last time i saw

you and

now i’m goth now cameron’s goth

okay so i’m kind of

um you know not like

over it because that that’s more like a

sarcastic type thing which i’m not into

it’s just more like i don’t care because

like i don’t care about

cause like what’s the point and like i

have a lot more like vocal fry

like when i talk yeah uh

so you know that you know that goths

traditionally

will wear dark clothing and like

dark makeup and black makeup yes that’s

why i’m wearing

a little clown attire well yeah i mean

if you notice like the colors of the

clown outfit are kind of a darker blue

and that’s the darkest item of clothing

i have because almost everything else i

own is either white

or um you know sort of like a bright um

or a pastel kind of color so i kind of

had to settle for the

for the clown outfit and then you know i

had to make the makeup match

but uh yeah

so that’s just to me the image is a

little jarring because

like i get the tone that you’re you’re

putting out

and whenever you said this is the the

new me i thought you meant like you were

going to be an entertainer and go to

kids parties

uh like because i don’t really

understand the point

of entertaining when

all it’s doing is masking people’s pain

and masking kind of the like real messed

up stuff that’s going on in this world

that’s what entertainment is man

i mean is

like a fun like hippie guy because you

can’t accept me for who i

am okay you’re you’re saying this but

you’re also

juggling bowling ball pins

at the same time and i see

okay you’re doing the balloon animals as

well yeah

yeah but look at the animal what’s the

animal dr london

what is it uh i get

is it a snake or is it a worm it’s a

worm the most goth of

animals

okay is this just because you don’t know

how to like make a balloon animal

nah man it’s a worm

okay it’s the most goth animals that

exist

dude why don’t you get off my back

bro denied

okay no and that’s such that’s great and

i

you know i like that we are exploring a

new side of you

even though okay like you can you don’t

need to

ride that very very small tricycle

around while we record

oh so if i’m not if i don’t conform and

like have like uh

just a normal mountain bike that’s well

you know it’s not uh

it’s not good enough for you because it

has to be like some sort of like

arbitrary standards that

you know are just social constructs and

have like no point like whatsoever

like oh i’m not on a i don’t even know a

brand of bike who knows brands of bikes

how pathetic would you have to be to

know a brand of a bike

well why why are you riding a bike right

now i guess is really the

like any kind of bike i don’t really see

because we’re just recording a podcast

maybe that’s what you’re doing man but

i’m just trying to like

not do anything because everything is

pointless

well um so that’s that’s our producer

cameron uh also with us

is due to doing the hoes

[Music]

real messed up stuff that’s going on in

this world

you don’t need to make a

[Music]

that’s what entertainment is

[Music]

and later cameron tells him that we can

expect a special guest

sponsor yeah i mean i guess

yeah so so look forward to that that’s

special if you’re comparing

you know pointless thing next to another

pointless thing then yeah maybe sure

it’s special i guess

in in this instance i with

relative to your current world of view

yeah

yeah i guess i am um but before we move

on i would like to address a bit of

listener feedback

i found this note written on the paper

mache that was wrapped around my torso

when i woke up this morning

note reads quote i heard you lost two

fingers at the river are you feeling

better

end quote um so

so first of all uh thank you for asking

that question of the jock talk podcast

to answer your question okay well

actually i’ve first i just don’t

understand

how i was paper mached without my

knowledge or consent overnight

while i was asleep uh there was no sign

of forced entry

i like i don’t because i woke up like

that

and it because my paper mache it starts

out wet so

you can just like wake up however you

want and that’s fine

but like when i wake up like this and

this is who i am now you can’t get off

my back about it

well it looks like you didn’t wake up

like it looks like you look back about

it it took a lot of work

you know okay back about it

okay uh so to answer this listener’s

question um as

as for my two fingers it turns out that

i didn’t lose them

they were just uh covered up by a

blanket so

this is actually an example of how the

more likely answer

often is the right answer i got rid of

my blankets

all of them say what

okay first of all they weren’t a dark

color at all

they were really bright and second of

all like

you know why like i’m just gonna like

lay in bed with

like a blankets and stuff and there’s

like people in this world who like don’t

even have

um you know they can even buy like a

shoes and i’m supposed to just be like

oh okay yeah this

is fine this blanket is probably

produced in like

a factory and i’m just supposed to be

like okay

no i’d rather just like sleep in the

cold because like who cares like what’s

the point

it’s actually honestly it’s more

comforting for me to like sit there

without a blanket and it’d be cold

yeah because i guess you only have your

carnival tent at this point

yeah it’s not even like a tent because i

can’t i can’t

keep it on the ground so it’s kind of

more like an umbrella

technically i guess right like

i i’m not really familiar enough to

like you you’re the goth so i guess you

would know more about clown

tents than i would or circus tents yeah

i’m just saying like if you if the ten

if

a tent that’s not on the ground

and is like being suspended above the

ground is essentially an umbrella

okay yeah is just a tent

that is in the sky okay

okay i guess that that’s maybe that’s

insightful i’m not

um anyway to this listener thank you for

listening

now for today’s medical topic church

strauss syndrome

keurig strauss syndrome is a

granulomatous vasculitis that is seen in

patients with

asthma the itis in that

you know vasculitis it indicates

inflammation so this condition

involves an inflammation of blood

vessels the way i remember the name

church strauss syndrome is that an

asthmatic patient

they’ll sometimes describe their

condition as feeling like breathing

through a straw

so church strauss syndrome in my mind

sounds kind of like

chugging a straw so church strauss

syndrome

typically presents with pulmonary

infiltrates rash

and eosinophilia and of course

eosinophilia refers to an increased

number of immune cells called

eosinophils and i mean like all this

stuff that you’re even like

talking about you’re you know it’s just

like this is what

life is is just disease and

you said rashes and straws

having to drink through a straw

right so it’s kind of like what like i

don’t even understand the point of

trying to be a doctor why not you know

what you know what would help

a patient more than being treated is

they go into the doctor’s office and

they’re like oh my stomach hurts so much

and you tell them yeah man life’s not

fair

and like be real with like be actually

be real with them

none of my doctors have ever been like

real with me you know what i mean

well they’ve have they just given you

the actual prognosis

yeah they just like they just they just

tell me like you have

uh like mouth and foot syndrome like

your mouth is stuck in your foot

and i’m like okay but what like i’m not

even talk i’m not even talking about

that what about like actually being real

with me like as a person

you know what i mean okay so

you’re just wanting more holistic

medicine is what you’re referring to

and yeah that that does depend on the

doctor some of them

whatever i don’t care okay

you’re the okay not me

all right well um so systemic vasculitis

may result in skin

muscle and nerve lesions uh it is also

associated with

the paranuclear anti-neutrophilic

cytoplasmic antibody

otherwise known as pianka or mpo anchor

and treatment is with systemic

glucocorticoids

all right uh cameron you said that we

have a a guest sponsor okay so y’all

know how the bone garden is failing

i’m only having first-time visitors yeah

that’s

yeah that’s right folks our guest

is sheila dawn

[Applause]

hey sheila okay um so

things are changing i’m sorry you know

the pandemic

has been a little bit crazy of a time

probably tough on business

yeah because you know a lot of my

business is based off of traveling and

people are not too thrilled with

you know traveling around state to state

city to city person to person you know

people aren’t too thrilled with that

right now so

what should we do mm-hmm singing loud

songs together yeah holding hands before

you introduce

whatever you’re about to introduce uh we

need to introduce you

because you’ve you’ve had kind of a

history

on the show yes well if you feel it’s

necessary

sure so this is sheila don who first

came to us to promote her road kill

meat sales yes she would she would grill

up the meat and sell it

she was making a sort of jerky type meal

out of animals that she found on the

side of the road i think roadkill is

maybe

uh a bit of a judgmental phrasing it’s

it’s found food

found meat that’s the new trend is like

scavenged food

exactly yeah foraging so you know that’s

a big

popular thing nowadays she had that

business

and then i think the last time she was

on

she talked about how she had expanded it

to

she had all these bones left over from

that so she opened up this bone garden

and if i remember correctly uh she would

only have one visitor at each time which

it sounds like it’s still the same

problem

because she would

kill them whenever they entered the bone

garden

well they would die they would never

leave the bone garden

i think placing blame is maybe a again

you’re just being really judgmental

towards our guest dr london sheila i am

so sorry

i don’t really even hear dr london

anymore so i’m kind of just waiting

for you know whenever his lips stop

moving

yeah it’s best to just zone him out

don’t understand half the words he’s

saying anyway so

it’s fine it’s usually know and stop

that

and get out of there right those are

most of the things that he’s saying

why did you trick me into eating this

yeah

i didn’t want to eat monkeys yeah you

know rare monkeys

so yeah i mean i just can’t i’m

what’s that smell i’ve never smelled

anything like it

yeah so all this i just can’t i can’t

hear them anymore

but in any case the last time sheila

dawn came on

um believed it was very focused on a

specific animal which was

the the hunt for the easter bunny and

there was a very complicated

plan to hunt down the easter bunny um

which i don’t know i uh

it didn’t really make sense to me anyway

we can i just wanted to

let the listeners know and they can go

back and listen to one of these episodes

if they want to

but here is sheila dawn

is he done oh yeah i’m so sorry i should

probably tell you when he starts talking

and stops talking

yeah he said a bunch of stuff he was

talk telling our audience about the

whole easter bunny thing but yeah he’s

done

we want to hear from you sheila why are

you here today like i said the pandemic

has just kind of been

not too nice to you know people who live

my type of lifestyle traveling around

mm-hmm yeah but there is kind of a

silver lining and that is that

you know me and ron we are tired of

burning up the roads

wow where are you guys going to go you

know we’ve got our trailer

you know we’ve got our deep freezer so

we’ve parked it

in the parking lot of our new business

endeavor and that is the

meat shack slash

sassy country boutique

[Applause]

come on down to sheila dawn’s

sassy country boutique

[Music]

oh um i’m sorry

just one moment uh you mentioned uh

ron can you remind me who ron is

someone you’re working with

is he done i keep forgetting that you

can’t hear him yeah he wants to know

who who is ron well cameron you know ron

he’s with me when i’m picking up my

monkey meat

oh yeah my husband ron well you probably

think he’s

old you probably think he’s my son

because he’s only four foot lead

well yeah and i call him ol ronnie yeah

oh little ronnie yeah

but in any case so so you’ve got this

new

place it’s like the check meet chat

slash

what how how did you describe it country

girl boutique sciencey country boutique

sassy country boutique well that sounds

i mean that sounds

amazing if you’ve got long bangs

and the back of your hair is short

[Music]

i mean can you give me a preview of what

i’m like

you know let’s say when i walk in when i

walk in it i’m i’m there on a

on a sunday afternoon and i don’t know

when i walk in

you’re going to want to sit down you’re

going to want to eat what’s placed in

front of you and you’re going to not

want to ask what it is and you probably

shouldn’t really investigate too closely

about what it is or kind sniff around or

just kind of eat it okay

just put it in your mouth and swallow it

okay that’s what

that’s what it is and that’s what’s

going to be yep what but what’s the

boutique part of it

so the boutique is just kind of my

leftover skins that i’ve just kind of

made you know i’ve got a little area for

masks and stuff and

um so wait wait wait are you you’re

using

animal skins to make like covet masks

right masks boots

uh bedazzled tops um

long sandals yeah i mean we’ve got

everything yeah

that does sound like everything that

sounds like everything i would want

if i was at a meat check for sure so

historically i i rarely like i’ve never

been to a place that labeled itself as a

meat shack

is this the the same sort of road

kill meat that you’ve peddled elsewhere

or is this something new

so dr london is wanting to know

if the meat that you’re you know serving

how do i say this in a less rude way

than he said it is it

is it found foraged meat from the side

of the road

similar to your previous endeavors or is

this something else well like i said a

big part of this

is don’t ask what kind of meat it is um

don’t look at it too

closely and don’t uh really smell of it

too much um just come in and sit down

and put the meat

in your mouth all your promotional

promotional material it even says kind

of a big like do not ask

don’t ask about it don’t think about it

too hard

definitely don’t sniff it just ate it

the death

definitely is underlined twice just eat

it okay

sheila’s meat shack just eat it i do

appreciate this kind of attitude and

this sort of

current climate and our current

uh you know instant gratification

culture everyone’s got a yelp review

right like everyone goes to the bank and

they’re like uh two stars

atm was too slow and it’s like hey why

don’t you actually be

happy with what’s being given to you

here’s a plate

of something that stinks like hell

and definitely shouldn’t be that color

why are you

questioning it well my first problem

with that is how do you even know what

it smells like if one of the rules is

don’t be smelling around

exactly you shouldn’t even be sniffing

it in the first place

yeah so and i think if we can all

respect those rules and

you know we’ve been talking a lot lately

about like uh you know all these people

don’t want to respect

rules of the establishment you know they

go to a place that says hey put a mask

on and they’re saying no no i don’t want

to

but guys can we not honor the request of

the establishment in this case

don’t look at it too hard keep your face

away from it don’t touch it with your

skin

put it in your mouth and eat it put it

in your mouth and eat it

i mean i’m totally fine if you don’t

want to wear shoes

if you don’t want to wear a shirt i mean

we offer service for that but if you’re

going to be

investigating too close if you’re going

to be asking too many questions that’s

where we draw the line

so i mean if you’re tasting the food too

much

instead of just trying to shove it down

your throat past your tongue

right that’s going to be a problem yeah

and ron’s not going to let you stick

around so

well when you say that dr you draw the

line

here little old or is it old run or a

little

i think it’s old little ron uh yes that

he’ll he’ll take care of it

is there is there a threat implied that

yeah what does that what does that mean

when

um little ronnie is gonna take care of

you and not gonna

not gonna let you poke around too much

is it is he

is this a threat is he gonna well i mean

my ron don he you know he’s my not

shining armor you know okay he’s not

gonna oh that’s so cute

really like if people are talking down

on shayla’s so the second he hears

something he’s gonna walk over with his

little steel toed boots

and he’s just gonna kind of tap tap tap

tap tap tap tap

until you leave tap your is that like

is that tapping on your toes is that why

you’re encouraging people to not wear

shoes

so you can kind of like stomp on them a

little bit with the

these steel-toed boots well i mean the

culture of our restaurant um

yeah lends to that yeah we kind of

worked ourselves into this angle so that

we can just kind of

fly under the radar yeah that completely

makes sense to me

that’s a big part of the meech back

slash

slash the country boutique okay if

you’ve got

kids named tatum peyton

you’re going to love this asset country

boot tick let me tell you do you mean

like

that you have name plates there for

those for those names is that what you

mean

or definitely a little magnets little uh

you know oh you heard that question

well money talks

oh okay because it’s about the business

and making that

sweet moolah suddenly your ears perk up

i get that i respect that

you’re an entrepreneur i’m a big dog

oh you’re a big dog so you said you you

sell name plates for

payton and who was the other one titum

tatum and so you have those two name

plates mason

brixley that type of thing braxton

kylie kim chloe i’ve got skin name

plates

um i’ve got uh they’re made out of yeah

different skins

um i’ve got uh skin jewelry i’ve got

um skin hats you seem to

have a very specific clientele in mind

right like you’re talking about

they have bangs and short hair in the

back and

and love like sequins who are you

like uh trying to appeal to like

what kind of person well i don’t want to

get too specific because i don’t want to

narrow down my business

to just one type of person but i do know

that i do have a genre that does like

the type of

things that i sell so of course you know

they they know who they are

and who you democrats how would you

describe those people more

you’ve already described leather child

pageant dresses

um i’ve got

and this isn’t like black leather tiara

tan

a lot of leather beauty pageant stuff

freshly tanned skins you know just the

type of stuff that

my type of people like that’s all that i

really need to say about that

yeah okay it sounds like you’ve got

something

figured out i mean are you guys

successful are you making

money well we’re just we’re just getting

started you know we kind of had a

grieving period of saying goodbye to our

long time of

you know tearing up the roads but uh

yeah you know i guess

because before it was more of like a

food truck right

right it was gathering food directly and

just

hunking in into the deep fryer and just

passing it out i mean it was a jubilee

yeah years of jubilee looking back um

when did you open up we kind of just

started within the last month yeah

within

i mean we’re gonna our grand openings

next week so we’ve been working hard

this last month i mean we’re ready wow

yeah and so when you come you actually

were right next to this really beautiful

uh kind of garden

uh is very interesting very intricate

and

uh just for walking in the door of the

meat shack you get a

half off admission to the garden

oh oh no i mean that sounds like a huge

appeal to me i mean the you’re

you’re because there’s so much to do in

one area get something to eat

uh get something get it out for the

boutique yeah and then

get go to your eternal

bliss you know when when you say

that you have a garden you aren’t

referring to your bone garden are you

dr london wants to know when you’re

talking about your garden

are you talking about the bone garden

that we’ve discussed

earlier oh yeah um i’m talking about

yeah the bone garden yeah

um it’s great yeah i’m sorry i thought

that was obvious

i don’t know why i repeated that to dr

london or repeated what dr london said

because

it was already clear but uh

i mean honestly this sounds great to me

dr lynn do you have any objections to

this i don’t understand you’re like you

seem real hesitant to

get involved here yeah well for one

thing

it’s the very first thing that sheila

said

on this episode was that she

has the problem only one person or like

people only come to the

bone garden once so

and this is a problem that she’s had

from the beginning because

people die when they enter that place

they can only enter

once so you’re saying that would affect

the business for the meat check as well

i see

i understand that well i’m i’m saying

more the murder

the murders so sheila what dr london’s

wondering is

before you’ve had issues uh in that a

lot of the people

who visited your bone garden in the past

could only visit once right

you didn’t have a mini return guest so

wouldn’t encouraging

your guests at the meat shack when you

run into the same problem i mean you’re

gonna want

repeat customers at the meat check right

well i guess that’s secondary

um really the bone garden’s been and

will always be

my main focus uh so the meat shack is

kind of

just a stop on the way if you will

so i mean this is kind of interesting

because before you were talking about

your food truck and

you know you would come across food

found food and then you’d huck it in the

back but now you guys aren’t driving

around you’re not

moving around so you’re probably not

running into a lot of animals that you

find right so

are you harvesting the the meat that

you’re

serving from the uh bone garden

do your customers be it’s not it’s not

me asking

no this that was me i’m sorry uh what

was that dr london

so oh if i’m being ignored now

yes okay i was i think i got too close

to the

okay wow this does not feel good

so to to repeat cameron’s question which

is a question of my own and

to put it more simply i think is the

meat check

the meat from there does that come from

the flesh of those who have entered your

bone garden

do people who eat there become

the future meal

you have to you have to repeat that to

her dr london she’s not gonna sorry

do people who eat there become the

future meal well you know there is a

cycle to life

um yes can you say

that you’re your future meal if you know

the bacteria that’s eating you

grow something new and you know you use

that to make something that fuels you

um you know this world is an ecosystem

and this

uh you know cycle of life it’s

really amazing that is really amazing

and you know

now that i think about it you know they

say that every cell in your body

changes over every like seven years

right like you’re an entirely new human

every seven years

and so yeah maybe i’m shedding skin

cells or whatever

but what if my chemical makeup that

makes me me

instead of turning into something

similar to me instead turns into

a um like a chicken fried steak type

meal okay so here isn’t that still

is that just a new version of me dr

london this is incredible

here’s here’s the issue i’m seeing is

that

sheila don seems to have avoided the

answering the question directly

which is i mean to put it more simply

the question’s really

is she feeding human flesh

from those who enter her bone garden is

she feeding that

to uh patrons of her restaurant

the meat shack and the fact that she’s

dodging the question does make me

suspicious that perhaps i’m not dodging

anything

you are what you eat i’ll leave it at

that

[Music]

[Applause]

[Laughter]

oh my gosh dude you got schooled

i that’s not the impression that i got

there i feel like jesus oh sheila

dodge the question again man sheila you

are awesome

so uh

can i get a little bit more of that

though

oh definitely i brought this on as

promotional i thought you guys would

fall in love with this food that you

don’t really look at that you

don’t just try to swallow as quickly as

possible yeah yeah here’s some

water you could probably just if you

just kind of swallow that

yeah with the water why is it that’s a

lot of

things floating in that water okay

i’m trying to eat it as fast as i can

okay

okay well i can i can smell it coming i

didn’t mean to

i’m trying to close the container so you

can’t smell it we’re not supposed to

smell it

okay now isn’t there something in your

stomach

but there is there’s something in my

stomach and

um i feel like a stronger man because of

it

okay let me take a picture and then i’m

gonna put it on the facebook i’m gonna

say

he just ate it yeah go ahead

okay all right that’s gonna look good

can i tag you uh yeah sure i’m listed on

there as

uh dr london smith all right

i’m gonna put on here about uh if you

come in you immediately get a free

ticket to the bone garden because that’s

a draw

wow so it dropped from from 50

off to now for free this is a huge deal

our listeners

our listeners need to take advantage of

this well

just saturday just saturday just

saturday they can get it free with a

if they buy a meal and if they buy i

don’t know what’s another kind of item

that might be in your boutique shop

uh probably a skin outfit

you know okay that that does bring up a

question what

what question you got so

you said a skin outfit what i’m

wondering is

you’ve kind of dodged the question of

is it human meat being served to people

i’m wondering is it human skin that’s

being sold to people

no it is not human scanned

okay fishes okay rats sand

my illegal monkeys that i got from

cameron

yep we trade them

okay so this is you already have a

surplus of those because of cameron’s

side

illegal exotic animal i mean you throw

around all these

uh you know you throw around all these

assumptions about me because i’m

southern i know

i can tell um and you don’t take into

account that i have plenty of vendors

okay cameron’s one of them do you know

how many

monkeys and giraffes and zebras

he’s got up in his attic right now

enough to feed 20 people for a year

okay and they’re they’re meeting he

doesn’t even fix him because he knows

nope well i

i do want to butt in here so i forgot

to let the exterminator know that they

were up there so currently i do have

zero living uh animals

in my attic but i had i st i definitely

have

20 years of food in the freezer yeah

um yeah and one other little point

uh cause you mentioned the rats so

cameron has this odd thing of

both um heavy emphasis on his exotic

creatures but also

heavy emphasis on vermin

the import and export of you know rats

and

hamsters yeah and

mostly rats honestly it seems like um

and i feel like my guess is you know

there’s not as much money in that

not as much money in what in rats

like as opposed to a giraffe or

something like

is are you just saving them up in case

there’s there’s a market for it oh

you’re talking to me

yeah yeah oh no i i’m not even worried

about that part yet

so i i don’t think that far ahead this

i i get where you’re coming from you’re

a planner you’re a guy who has to have

you you

you know you start monday morning by

saying what’s what am i gonna do

every second of every day this week

uh let me uh let me uh make all of my

meals right now and then just

split them up nah man i live in the

moment i betty meal preps

i bet he eats brown rice i know he eats

brown rice

london yeah i’ve acquired a lot of

rodents

what am i doing with them i’ll know in

the moment

okay i just you know it’s just one of

those things

if you had been acquiring them on their

own that would have been weird but the

fact that you were

i guess were previously acquiring the

very exotic animals

but you seem to be posting about each of

them

like each type equally like promoting

them so i

anyway i wasn’t sure um

in any case so now we have this

uh this meat shack and this

bone garden still uh and you said your

problem

what is your problem with the you keep

coming back to it and keep being like

well it’s a huge problem

you i know what you have a problem with

a woman who’s created a successful

business

he’s totally threatened by me you’re

threatened by her yeah it’s laughable

i mean i do understand i’m a woman who’s

six foot seven okay i understand

that men sort of physically cower to me

as well as kind of they just kind of

lose their spirits around me because i

just am such a massive

conquering woman really yeah i mean

that’s what it is

well i mean the amount of skins that you

wear

just normally if we were in the old

times

where you know it was kind of like i was

a viking and i was covered in skins you

would not be like

oh you’re a weird person you would be

terrified

you would be shaking let me get out of

the way for this

warrior right but now because we live in

these little snowflake

times everyone’s like oh sheila is so

strange you walk around with one skin

and then suddenly you have a doctor

being like

oh but are you feeding people human meat

and it’s like oh my gosh go away

just move back to california where you

came from okay

yeah it was just the fact that like

because you’ll you’ll wear

you know a giant sort of buffalo head

covering and as

and on top of that a lion’s head

covering

full skin well in the summer time too

like to the stores or whatever to the

markets i’m showing my many victories

all right yeah and like

it’s i just find it to be you find it

odd because you don’t understand the

warrior’s mindset

and you don’t understand the mindset of

success he could never that’s why i

mostly just block him out nowadays

yeah there’s no point in even listening

to him he that he he refuses to

acknowledge

that yeah stacking a bunch of heads on

top of your head

might be an awesome power move he

doesn’t want to admit that because then

he loses

and that’s what al that’s all that

doctors care about is winning

we know that’s right what plans do you

have in the future what’s next for

sheila dawn like

are you gonna ever expand the restaurant

maybe kind of make a chain out of it i

mean what are your future plans

we’ll just have to see how it goes uh

right now i’m just gonna kind of slow

down a little bit enjoy my life with ron

don

you know we’ve been burning up the roads

and

we’re just getting kind of in our old

age

and i’ve had many victories i’ve had a

lot of

i’ve conquered a lot of land that we’re

just kind of ready to

build a city out of build our own little

utopia

so oh okay

so wait that the eventual goal is to

have sort of like uh

your own utopian community

well i don’t really like to discuss my

next moves

um you know this is kind of a long term

thing so i really don’t

that’s that’s fine i’m not sure that i

particularly needed to know that

anyway so it’s okay to to not move into

that

what what we do need to do though um

we we have some chores to do

why do you have to bring that up dr

london being such a party pooper

we’re having a good time talking about

this great new business and now we got

to do a bunch of chores

but you were just right we’ve been

putting it off

we’ve been putting i’m just taking on my

frustration on you you’re right i know

you’re right

uh for those who don’t know so for the

last

few weeks now um we’ve been trying to

complete a chore every single week we’ve

we have all of these tasks on our to-do

list

all of these chores that we need to get

done and so we’re just trying to

keep it simple do one a week get it out

of the way

never think about it again and so we’ve

created this fun chore wheel that we’re

gonna spin

and uh we’re just gonna do whatever’s on

it

so dj dylan can you go ahead and just

spin that to our wheel yes

[Music]

okay it landed on

[Music]

interrogate each other to establish

alibis

in the murder of captain floppy

which is of course is the celebrity fish

uh so um i guess we can

this was well i mean let’s explain so

the

sheriff of uh the local sheriff has been

um kind of at his wit’s end in this

investigation

so a very famous celebrity fish

um floppy the fish unfortunately was

murdered

uh earlier in the year and you know

floppy was beloved by many

and he had his own tv shows and his own

albums you know number one albums that

gone platinum and

um he unfortunately

the because of covet it’s made

investigations and interrogating people

very very difficult and unfortunately

uh the three of us me dr london

and our guest sheila don are kind of

suspects in this case

which i mean i think it’s kind of

ridiculous but we kind of

are and since the police can’t

interrogate us

they said they sent us a at-home

interrogation kit

and we’re gonna interrogate each other

establish our alibi

and then send that back to them and then

we can be just like done with it

or you know maybe not establish an alibi

and maybe discover that one of us is

guilty

if someone is it’s not me but it could

be

the doctor anyway i’m just ready to get

this over with

it’s been hanging over our heads for too

long i know i mean okay

let’s let’s get this over with i i want

to be done with it too

yeah no i’m pretty sick of it

you want me to start yeah go ahead okay

who are you interrogating uh yeah yeah

so um i’ll interrogate

you know what cameron i’ll interrogate

you

that’s fine i don’t mind nothing to hide

no and

you know and just to start out

so you guys know i’m actually innocent

well so i just want to establish you

know and obviously i want to establish

that i am innocent as well because i’m

innocent

and i can’t necessarily trust what other

people say but i

can trust that i’m in i’m innocent right

okay and um anyway so okay let me just

read off the

thing here okay so you’re reading off

how to

interrogate

yeah first step um say hello

hello hey hey next card

um next man when are you gonna let me go

okay i’ll skip a few okay so um

what were you doing between

7 p.m and 4 30

a.m on the night of

may 32 31st sorry

31st man i was 20 20. i wasn’t doing

anything i was just fishing

uh you were fishing yeah

that’s it i was just trying to catch

some fish

that’s it did you did you succeed in

catching a fish nope

couldn’t get a bite couldn’t couldn’t

find a single fish

nothing bit tried everything tried

bobbers

tried um using

other fish as bait tried using like

cookies as bait

tried shining a flashlight on the fish

trying to make him think it was the sun

and then trying to being like jump into

the sunfish

and then i was going to try to grab him

nothing worked okay

that’s all i did that whole time

okay um i guess that

and that was until 4 30 in the morning

yep

you spent a full what five

nine nine and a half hours trying to

fish

i spent a lot more than that but it

includes those hours yeah

all right so yeah i guess that’s it so i

guess

we’ve cleared cameron’s alibi he has

innocent

and can the i don’t know can the fish

vouch for you that

that that’s what you were doing or

um i think uh you could

ask the fish but you you know they’re

liars

so and they don’t have great vision so

they might not have even

seen me so even if they didn’t see me

that doesn’t necessarily mean that i

wasn’t there

but even if they uh if they saw everyone

else that was there if there was like

some

other people there um you gotta remember

they’re liars

fish lie okay

okay um all right who’s who’s next uh i

think i

am going to interrogate sheila

okay um because i i gotta be honest i

got some questions

okay now sheila you uh

you famously work a lot with animals

don’t you

correct now i want to know where were

you on the night

of may 31st from

let’s say 7 00 p.m to

5 a.m

oh let me call ron

hold on okay

hi this is fine right wrong they can

just make phone calls in the middle of

it

remember when we went to key west

right wait oh

isn’t that isn’t that where captain

floyd we were on the house boat yeah

yeah that was funny yeah

well baby i love you too ron thanks for

answering your phone i’ll talk to you

later okay sweetie

okay i love you okay uh ron said we’ve

never been to key west so i cannot

remember

i don’t remember my you said but i

didn’t ask if you’ve been to key west i

asked

where were you on may 31st well i know

that i was not in key west

no can you remember at all what you were

that’s where i thought that i was so now

that that’s

ruled out i can’t recall so i mean may

31st it’s a sunday

nothing you can’t recall a single thing

and you know this isn’t good for you in

an interrogation like it’s

it’s better if you can have an alibi i

would argue the opposite that the fact

that i am so nonchalant about this

proves that i do not care enough to be

worried

okay so i would say it is my alibi that

i don’t

remember and i don’t care to remember

and i don’t know

i gave you the answer i was not in key

west so

okay so you weren’t in key west and

honestly i feel like if you did

murder someone that day you would

remember it i remember what i was doing

you’d remember what you were doing that

day but you can’t remember what you were

doing that day

so there’s no way that you could have

been the murderer right

exactly that’s what i’m thinking i let

me ask

i’m gonna ask one more question and um

just be truthfully honest

i noticed you brought all these leather

items from your boutique

right there’s specifically over here

a a tiny leather captain’s hat

that says floppy

kinda embroidered on it what is uh where

did this come from what’s that about

probably just came from the gift shop i

don’t know

it probably came from your own gift shop

that you own

i guess but you don’t know

it doesn’t look familiar is there a skew

number on it

i have a very specific skew number

system

so if it has a skew number on it that

matches my

system then yeah it’s from

my gift shop okay

well i mean that’s a solid answer i

can’t dr london

looks like you have something to say

given that sheila has such a murderous

history

in general and that she has there he

goes again

throwing around assumptions about me

because i’m southern

yeah i think this is liable dr london

you can’t be saying

such definitive things like this i mean

keep going dr

london you are only giving me more

fodder let me tell you

yeah you’re just increasing the amount

of money we’re going to have to give her

when she sues us

i’ve got my lawyers

she also has in her gift shop

a captain’s hat with the embroidered

name of

the you know the victim in question

um that she cannot vouc she can’t say

where that came from

and i’m going to i mean to me

to me this tells me i think i’ve heard

enough i think i’ve heard enough i think

sheila must be innocent

again i have to go back to the fact that

if she did something wrong she would

remember it

correct okay sheila let me

see dylan can you give me like some sort

of sound effect that

identifies that she’s innocent yes

all right so now um i guess the only

thing we have left to do is um

sheila you’re gonna interrogate uh our

own dr london i

can’t wait to see this finally this

guy’s getting

questioned i see the beads of sweat

no more secrets coming down your

forehead dr

london i’ma get you do you see this

lying on my head yeah do you see the

boys head on that lines head

imma get you dr london

okay

are you quivering in your boots yet

no no these are uh these are converses

dr london i’ve only got one question to

ask you

[Music]

okay have you ever been to key west

florida have you ever had lunch at

margaritaville yes are you are you doing

the inve

because i thought that one question

would be like what was i doing on may

31st between

7 pm and 4 30 a.m is that not

what is that not why are you avoiding

the question this hard

no i said yes stop trying to avoid the

question

have you had lunch there yes well i’m

ready to call it i mean it’s clear as

day that london is guilty

he said he had lunch at margaritaville

in key west what more do we need to know

yeah i mean we know you haven’t been to

key west

and we know that i haven’t been to key

west because they won’t let me back

there

so you you have been to key west then

i it

so what i did was while flying

over key west and so to say i’ve been

there would be wrong

but i am banned there banned

from going there does that make sense

from flying over

or from visiting by land all all of it

okay so they’ll just flag you no matter

what yeah okay

um okay so you

have been over key west

why are you avoiding the question of

where why are you avoiding the question

i feel like i answered so could i could

i give the answer to

that’s what i’m asking on that that’s

what sheila dawn just asked

i i’m sorry you know maybe that’s my

fault i didn’t hear that

like the question so what was i doing on

may 31st from 7 pm to 4 30 a.m

how do you know the time and date

i have the same interrogation cards that

you do you got gotcha

do you want me to because i do have an

answer do you want me to

find spill your little lies

go ahead well so

at seven i was um i was about to go

stargazing uh you know like we were

having a meal

uh me meaning the um

[Music]

what was it was sort of a tea party that

we were having uh me and my stuffed

animals

and so we were all sipping on tea uh

which well theirs was actual tea mine i

i wanted to be a little stronger so my

my drink wasn’t exactly tea

was a hot toddy so kind of tea um

so anyway we were just having a tea

party

and then as the night grew on then i was

like well i’m gonna

kind of see you guys later because i’ve

got

i have a thing and they were like oh

what’s the thing and i’m like oh great

okay well i don’t wanna

i don’t wanna because i wanna i wanna go

stargazing by myself

and i don’t want to say that they can’t

join me

so uh you know

miss penelope and um mr donkey man

and uh mr flop the lion yeah

no no that’s a celebrity he said yes

he said yes do we got that on tape do

you do dylan

yes yeah he’s a captain but you can also

call him mister i think that’s

appropriate

in any case he i

left them and i have witnesses because

everyone else at that tea party

uh and so then i left them

and drove uh for

yeah it was four hour drive to um my

favorite tree

and uh the reason it’s my favorite is

because there’s a branch that goes out

pretty far that you can kind of balance

on

sword like it’s you’re really balancing

the whole time and it’s kind of rickety

but

if you do that you can peek out through

like there’s this tiny little

sliver of uh the tree where you can

see through what is he talking about i

don’t know what direction

when you drove four hours where you’re

driving east or west nose north

you have a northeast or northwest uh

northeast northeast yeah northeast where

key west florida is dr london

like from cuba or exactly

i was where the studio was driving i

love all the 1950s cars here

i know i love it it’s always such a

treat every time we come

to record the podcast and we get to take

a 1950s car

yeah well um

so it sounds like so it sounds like we

know

that dr london killed captain floppy

and we’re just going away i just got a

text from

ron and he looked through the bone

garden admissions

and mr floppy uh

bought a ticket on may 31st so he’s no

longer with us in a physical sense

but his soul and his spirit have

transcended into a new way of life for

him

so we should really be grateful and uh

happy

no harm no foul uh it sounds like

uh everything’s in order i mean he

bought the ticket

so it doesn’t sound like anyone murdered

him

it’s part of the experience well it

sound

that sounds like sheila don murdered him

that’s partly she he bought a ticket

though he transcended into a new

ecosystem

[Music]

the afterlife you know what i still

think dr london did it even as you said

that

something about it just

it’s cause you know he dissected so many

things and you know that he just

enjoyed it on like a creepy level

you know let’s let’s it’s just like a

vibe it gives off

we’ll just let’s just give this tape and

our our

what we’ve written down to the coppers

and they can decide

you know how long dr london’s going to

go away

my lawyers have been listening in this

whole times and they’ve been

on constant communication with the

police so i’m sure they’re already on

their way

perfect okay great so dr london i guess

um do you want to kind of go pack your

things

or do you bring your stuff into prison i

don’t know how that works

i i don’t think that i’m headed to

prison

in any case i guess we could just kind

of wrap it up

so um all right thank you to uh

to sheila dawn for coming by the show

again i and karen if you could warn me

next time

just because i don’t want why are you

asking cameron

uh for a warning honestly man i should

give you a warning

like anytime anyone wants to do anything

because it’s like

pointless you know what i mean so like

here’s your warning dude

like it’s all garbage man you know what

i mean

i think you’ve forgotten that i’m goth

now cameron’s goth well yeah

no i i remember and i see all the the

bright colors and

yeah um but they’re darker than normal

so

that’s god yeah just slightly but like

alternating and very just very bright no

the effect is striking

i will say i i noticed right away that

you had gone goth but i

didn’t think that it was polite to say

anything but now that you’re kind of

bringing it up yeah

no the effect is striking

going a little darker red yeah bringing

out the different cues definitely

i would appreciate that like and that

would

be awesome but like if i cared about

anything at all right under yeah

i understood like right now it’s just

like it’s just kind of like

it’s not bad that you said that it’s not

good either it’s just like

it just doesn’t matter yeah it’s just

random and pointless like the world

um well that’s that’s that’s great so

and that could be said for this whole

podcast really

i mean that’s kind of the basis for the

whole podcast and i think that’s why it

was so easy for me to embrace like this

kind of darker side to myself

where like i’m goth and like i have you

know

like you can see like i mean it’s a red

nail polish but like you could imagine

if it was like black or something how

cool that would be

which i don’t care about so i guess

we’ll we’ll go ahead and end it there

so yeah sure whatever thank you i don’t

care i don’t care when you end up

well neither do i thank you sheila don

for for coming on the show

thank you to our producer cameron yeah

whatever i don’t thank you too

did you doing the hoes did you doing the

hose

i see the beads of sweat coming down

your forehead dr

london i’ma get you i’ma get you

[Music]

i’ma get you

[Music]

dr london

uh my name is dr londonsmith.com and

this has been

the jock doc podcast

[Music]

your teeth grind down on another bite

you wish that there was a crunch

or or any sensation of texture really

but you are unfortunately not the one

making the diet selections here

you were always told to clean your plate

when you were growing up

but surely this is beyond the level of

reason

you start to lift your head up from the

grass but the pressure from the boot on

the back of your head only

increases and you begin eating again

one of these days you will have to stop

accepting dares from bullies

nevertheless

you gave your word this is about

character to prove your worth as an

honest person

you will eat all of the planet earth

starting with the grass and then this

dumb bully

will be the one looking like a fool

you smile a grass-filled smile to

yourself

beaming at the honorable person you have

become

and will become speaking of being an

honorable person

don’t forget to leave a five star review

of the jock doc podcast

in which you share the links to which

you have gotten to prove to mean bullies

that you are a good person

and consider supporting us by becoming a

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and while you’re at it go ahead and

share the jock doc podcast with a friend

or foe

you can send them a link to your

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we are @JockDocPodcast thanks for

listening

[Applause]

bye