65: Tension pneumothorax/spider facts with billy (feat. Tanja rowland)

hey kids you’re about to listen

to comedy podcasts and that that

means that none of this is medical

advice

so if you need medical advice

or medical care please contact your

doctor

welcome to the jockstrap podcast

featuring dr london smith

wait did i just say i meant to say jock

doc

introducing your host doctor london

strap

[Music]

[Applause]

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

dr londonsmith.com i would like to begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received

some feedback about just the over

use of uh technical medical terms that

i’ve been using such as

gamma glutamine transpeptidase and

walk this way so i will try to temper my

terminology

to a simpler one in the future here to

help with that

is our producer cameron

[Music]

just looking at this microphone and this

table and the light switch here and the

studio and

it’s kind of sad that this might be the

last time i see him you know

um well why is that

are you are you leaving well dr london i

got some good news and i got some bad

news and the good news is

is that i am going to be uh exploring

a little more of the world i

i was thinking about the other day and i

was like why haven’t i traveled at all

this year

and i was just drawing a blank i was

like man i

this whole year i haven’t gone anywhere

and i couldn’t think of any

excuse that made any sense at all

and so i mean dr london i’m going to be

i’m going to be taking a leave of

absence for i

20 years 30 years i don’t know oh is

that how long it takes to get around the

world

i think normally i would think

like under normal circumstances i don’t

think it would take 20 or 30 years to

get around the world

even well hundreds of years ago yeah i

mean that depends on what you’re

traveling by

though and for you you would travel

like you wouldn’t use a plane or you

know

no people have done that people have

famously you know traveled around the

world in like

hot air balloons and in planes and by

boat and all these different things

but not one person has gone all the way

around the world

in a box car racer you know those like

little little cars that

that kids drive down hills that you

making like boy scouts or something

yeah aren’t those aren’t those like

don’t those require

a slope like that that’s why it’s

downhill

well yeah i mean there’s no like engine

in or anything i mean it’s literally

just a box with wheels

and not one person has done that i’m

gonna be the first doctor london

do you do you think that in your journey

around the world you might run into

issues of

say oh with fans

running into fans around the world and

them hassling me i have thought about

that yes

and you know it disgusts me

the idea that someone would come up to

me and say i recognize you

but i think i could i think i could like

say oh okay

you know i think i mean get the hell out

of there as quickly as possible of

course

but i’d be like oh yeah okay yeah

well okay i just can’t help but think

okay well anyway the reason why

you haven’t been able to travel so much

is probably

i’m not sure if you’re aware but you

said

you know we live in the united states so

probably

you won’t be legally permitted to

enter another country because you know

they’re still

yeah by flame like through an airport

you think if i start floating up to to

italy

in a box car off the side of the gulf

that they’re going to just turn me away

they might if they find out that you’re

american you really think so hmm

well okay trying to immigrate by that

method or

by similar methods we’ll think about

this though

if i start at a really really high hill

in just like whatever country that i’m

trying to like swoosh my way into

i’ll be going so damn fast then the

coppers won’t do

anything about it so so i guess your

real goal now

is to just find the tallest i guess

mountain

yes that is now my dream

okay because i guess drive

my boxcar racer down mount everest

and hope that i get enough momentum to

go all the way around the world

faster than i guess all the police in

the world

okay and i i guess i can’t really speak

to whether

i don’t feel like i’m gonna miss this i

mean the recording software

the software that’s what you’re gonna

notice i mean the

you know the way that like you never

brought any candies or anything to

the records i always thought about that

like oh you think you would bring

something

so you’re gonna miss passive aggression

yeah

okay ah but you know dr london i i wish

you

all the luck in the world um on finding

my replacement

um i won’t be assisting in finding your

replacement

um and i’m not going to tell you the

passwords to any of the accounts

okay because you do manage every account

and have made it a point to not

allow me well for one thing

i’m gonna miss those accounts miss those

passwords

some of them made me laugh so hard ah i

guess there’s a clue

okay well uh you know

so that’s that’s our producer cameron

also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

just looking at this microphone and this

table the light switch here in the

studio this might be

the last time i see him you know dr

london i got some good news and i got

some bad news and the good news is

that i’m going to be uh exploring

a little more of the world i’m going to

be taking a leave of absence

20 years 30 years i don’t know it

depends on how long it takes to get

around the world

oh i’m gonna miss the recording software

[Music]

oh i’m gonna miss i mean the

you know the way that like you never

brought any candies or anything

to the record i always thought about

that

you think you would bring something

sometimes but

but you know dr london i i wish you all

the luck in the world

and i’m not gonna tell you the passwords

to any of the accounts i’m gonna miss

those accounts

this those passwords some of them made

me laugh so hard

[Applause]

[Music]

and later cameron tells me that we can

expect a special guest

that’s right dr london well you said you

couldn’t call it a

make uh

[Music]

it wasn’t a make a wish it was make a

prayer

was it or you said you came up with some

spin-off

organization that you’re oh well i’m i’m

still

kind of like testing like i think make a

fish is kind of funny

yes but i feel like people would expect

fish which i don’t have

so make a prayer was also a good one

because i thought like oh you kind of

lean on the religious angle um

but then the uh madonna’s

record label threatened to sue us

because they said

make a prayer was too close to like a

prayer

okay which i feel like it was closer to

make a wish but they didn’t seem to care

at all especially because

this is just the name of an organization

to make a young child’s dream come true

so anyway yeah it’s not even an

organization it’s just sort of a title

so we can introduce them on the podcast

like i

i didn’t even think we’d get sued for

that yeah that sounds

okay but yeah i mean we i mean we have

to go to court over that

i didn’t even change the name i just i

googled it

and they they were like no and they shut

it down that quickly

okay so so we just have a guest on and

we can’t legally

we’re being sued by madonna

i wish this was the first time uh

anyway so before we move on i would like

to uh to address a bit of listener

feedback

i found this message spelled out in fire

in my yard over the weekend the note

reads quote

my grandson kyle is good with money he

sells

cartridges whatever that means end quote

uh first of all i would like to thank

you so much for reaching out to us here

on the jock talk podcast

um to answer your question

maybe your grandson is selling uh i

don’t know nintendo cartridges

for like an older game system cameron do

you have any idea what

cartridges

uh i mean it’s gotta be something like

car related right is it like a hot wheel

uh yeah i’m not sure just i know that he

sells them

so yeah so i guess if it’s

so so her grandson kyle maybe is a car

salesman yeah probably so

okay well anyway um great to hear from

that listener

and uh yeah keep keep letting us know

what you’re thinking listeners

we keep on trucking on and once again we

do kind of want to stay away from these

phrases that are so

close to real ones because i we can’t

take more lawsuits

it just saying trucking i don’t even

know what that’s close to like i’m not

even sure who’s gonna sue me for

trucking on

keep on something on it

it’s just one of those things that’s

i’ve seen it on so many

like oh so you don’t even know if

someone owns it you just

i’m it’s out i’m sure that we could

i i just want to be careful that’s all i

that

that’s understandable okay

[Music]

now for today’s medical topic tension

pneumothorax

attention pneumothorax is defined as air

in the normally airless pleural space

which is the space between the tissues

that lie in the lungs

and the chest so air gets trapped just

outside the lungs and this gives the

lungs less room to expand and fill with

air

attention pneumothorax then is when this

air trapping is caused by some form of

trauma

and the tissues surrounding the opening

into the pleural cavity

they act as valves so they they allow

air to

enter but not to escape sound familiar

okay is this is this another hint at why

you

why you’re wanting to leave yeah i just

because i you know i i was invited in i

i was allowed to enter with

open arms saying cameron if you help out

with this podcast you’ll have the whole

world

and then i get here and i’m just

suffocating

yeah i’m every single week you’re like

you have to be here

every single week you’re like you gotta

like send

like the recordings over you gotta log

into the account or at least give me the

password i’ll do most of the work

just you gotta give me access and i’m

like get off my back

well i’m sorry it’s just that’s kind of

just how a podcast

works and if you suddenly you know go on

your boat

trip oh climb a tree and try to start a

new tribe

all of those things you know you can you

can do that on your own time

but we you know we have to educate

people

about medicine you know what i

know that we’re already being sued

by madonna’s record company

but i’ve gotta express myself and i

gotta say right now

papa don’t preach okay

in any case um yeah so that

an attention pneumothorax that vogue

that accumulation of

air under positive pressure in the

pleural space

collapses the ipsilateral lung that

means

same side lung and it shifts the

mediastinum away

from the side of the pneumothorax

clinically

patients can present with hypotension

because along with the lungs

cardiac filling can also be impaired due

to compression of the great veins

patients may also have i need to get

those i’ve heard so much about those

getting cardiac fillers no i think

i’ve heard all about getting those

filled and i’ve heard it’s amazing

sorry so cardiac feeling that you’re

already doing that

every moment that’s your heart beating

every time your heart fills up with

blood

oh yeah i mean i’ve heard i’ve heard

yeah i’ve heard if you go to those

places it they fill up with blood and

it’s just like it you feel

so fresh and amazing when you get out of

there

i okay so cardiac filling is also

compared to

to compression of the great veins uh

patients may also have distended neck

veins

uh a shift of the trachea away from the

side of the pneumothorax on chest x-ray

uh decreased breast sounds on the

affected side and hyper resonance to

percussion

on the side of the pneumothorax however

if a

tension pneumothorax is suspected it’s

important to immediately

decompress the pleural space via a large

board needle or chest tube

rather than obtaining an x-ray first

as for treatment so did you say

you you talk as if you’ve experienced

this

no i just everything you’re describing

is exactly why i need to leave

oh just attention pneumothorax

is that this is this is you this is our

relationship

are you blind do you have any

self-awareness at all everything you’re

saying is our dynamic

don’t you see dr london so our dynamic

is there’s a need to decompress the

plural space with a large born needle or

test tube

it’s insane to me that you you wrote all

of that and you never

stopped to think like is this coming

from my subconscious like does this mean

something

okay because you’re just spelling it out

all the things you couldn’t tell the

therapist

and said you were just kept checking

your phone yeah okay well i just

i’m not sure exactly where this is

coming from because

so so this is a medical lesson this is

what happens when someone’s

you know the lining of their lung is

compromised

yeah no i know

okay because that’s what you’ve done to

the entire length of this podcast

today’s podcast

okay anyway as for treatment it’s like

10 minutes

so the way you treat this tension

pneumothorax

uh you have to treat it as a medical

emergency if the tension in the pleural

space is not relieved the patient can

actually die of hemodynamic compromise

so you’ll immediately perform chest

compressions with a large born needle in

the second or third intercostal space

in the mid clavicular line uh and then

followed by

chest tube placement and does that

that’s something like our relationship

when you hear the word chest tube

placement

you don’t that doesn’t jog any memory

for you dr london

no did you did you have the chest tube

placed at some point

no but think about it chest tube

placement

tube like a like a slide like a water

slide

chest when we went to that down that

water slide

and we went like chest face first

placement because we

we knew to splash in the water at the

end and it was a fun time

and that’s okay so you’re describing our

relationship as being a fun

experience at a water park no i that was

that was a specific memory that you

don’t even remember apparently

i mean i i remember but i didn’t connect

it to this

when i get to the peak of mount everest

yeah and i put my helmet on

because it’s been off the whole time i

was climbing

and i get in that box car racer and i

tell my

i don’t know like horse or whatever i

ride up there to

push me off the edge i’m gonna be

thinking

i hope this is as fun as that water

slide

and at that point you will be yeah

talking to your horse

okay well we can go ahead and move on

from there

okay all right well cameron you said

that we have a well i can’t call it

we can’t put under a specific theme but

we have a special guest who is here

because they’re

i don’t know that something was wrong

are you

guessing at what you’re trying to say is

are you guessing what words are i’m

trying to i know they’re illegal

words that i can’t legally use to

describe why the guest is on the show

so i’m just trying to navigate that okay

yeah so i know that so this guest

has physical ailments

to such an extent that

they reached out to

someone and got connected and this this

is what they wanted to do was to be on

the jock dock podcast yeah i mean why

are you telling me this

yeah i’m sorry this is an introduction

okay uh anyway so

welcome to our guest uh hello there

hello can you guys hear me okay

yeah we can hear you oh my god okay

i just want to say first of all that i’m

much like my mom has done this a lot of

times like i really don’t want you guys

to break up okay

i just like i don’t think i could take

it again and i learned so

much like so much from you guys so i

need i need to stay together

well you know sometimes

even though people still carry

about each other a lot they need to take

some time apart

to explore different options

and maybe uh

you know blonder options i guess

um well my mom’s boyfriend jeff did that

and

and he got hit by a mail truck i don’t

know so

i’m just saying like but that’s not

always a good thing you know what i mean

what did i mean did he did jeff die or

is that the end of that story

no well it’s kind of a really long story

i don’t think i should get to it because

i talked to someone who speaks the

ghosts and they talk to jeff

because the whole reason he got hit by a

car is because he had like this white

stuff on his face

when the cops came the policeman came to

take him out and he tried to run away

and then he got hit by a mail truck and

then he went to a

a bad place and i don’t want you to go

to a bad place mr producer camera guy oh

well thank you

i really that’s really sweet i

appreciate that dr london do you have

anything to

well i figure we should finish this uh

and

so this is our guest is named uh billy

is that right

yes my name is billy hey billy

how old are you billy i am eight years

old

wow yeah i’ve grown into a big boy

yeah well so billy my name is dr

londonsmith.com

and this is our producer cameron

i don’t know you guys are i listen to

you guys like all the time

because i try to google stuff to

understand things but i like it better

when people talk to me

because i sometimes pretend i have

friends at home that want to talk with

me about

the questions i have and that’s what you

guys are yeah that’s the i mean the

perfect example of a podcast listener

yeah that’s me i’m a podcast listener

and like

so i’ve been trying to get a hold of you

guys a little bit um

i get made fun of a lot at school

because i’ve got like some stuff going

on it’s kind of embarrassing to talk

about

yeah oh no well i mean i’m sure dr

london can definitely help you he is

a doctor i mean he’s you know

he sucks

to ask real quick so i guess for our

audience

our podcast has reportedly according to

cameron been marketed primarily towards

children yes which doesn’t seem to be

you know sort of the target audience

that we would want but

i guess you know we take we can get you

don’t think kids need

medical advice too yeah i i think that

they

can benefit but it’s what we are

teaching is more at a

you know a med school level back back to

billy here

um yeah so so what brings you on the

show you said you have some kind of

ailment yeah um i get made fun of a lot

cause

i have some dandruff and i have some

psoriasis

but i’m getting treated from that from a

doctor uh

but okay good the real problem is i’ve

got gooey eyes

like my eyes have goo in them all the

time and like people don’t like looking

at me

and they kind of make fun of me about it

and say that i’m gross

okay well i mean i’m glad you you

contacted us i mean i feel like this is

what we

are primarily experts at right dr london

i mean

you know first things first we got to

identify the goo coming out of the

gooey eyes as an expert myself i would

probably

say it looks like it’s from the

uh american southwest

is that is that all right dr london i

you think that the goo

itself is from do you not know your

goose trains

well i think usually if the goo

is coming out of a person then you will

generally think that that person is the

origin

not some other you know region of the

country yeah i don’t really know

very much yeah but i mean it can happen

in all sorts of ways i mean have you

known

anyone have any of your well you said

you don’t really have any friends but i

mean like

i’ve got one friend and her name is

amelia and she’s a spider

okay okay yeah she’s really cool

we learned i learned about the spider

world from her and i teach her about the

human world

and she says that my goo doesn’t bother

her so

she’s a good friend of heft

okay yeah and and that’s once

uh you know it’s very normal but could i

cameron can i talk to you

separately for a second

yeah this might be the last time that

you talked

separately with me all right so

billy is also on here to promote

uh his podcast spider facts with billy

okay and i just we need to be sensitive

and make sure he doesn’t feel strange

for

to talking to a spider for a podcast

that’s do you see what i i don’t

i mean i didn’t find it strange in the

first place that seems i mean eight

years old i mean

yeah that seems normal okay i just

yeah i get to but to start a podcast and

you’ve made it into this

weird thing okay okay maybe just me

we can go back god

okay billy sorry about that that’s okay

sometimes you have to have grown-up

talks my mom tells me that

yes yeah okay so

yeah tell me about this you said you

have a friend

amelia who’s a spider yeah so i saw a

spider one day

and i put it in a jar and then

she’s and then i let her out of the jar

now but then she just started talking to

and i was like what because i originally

wanted to

teach people about spiders because i

love them so much like

did you know that spiders have eight

eyes as well as eight legs like that’s

so many

wow that makes sense we have two eyes

and two legs yeah so

wow nature’s so cool and it’s so cool

because amelia talks to me

and she’s really smart she taught me how

spider babies are made

like how they’re my their eggs and stuff

come out and like a

bag it’s like a big old bag with a bunch

of babies in it

that’s really cool wait doctor london is

that true

oh no okay so uh i don’t really want to

spend today describing

[Music]

where babies come from or how they’re

made

i want to know billy billy billy i want

to know you say amelia talks to you yeah

what does she sound like she sounds like

could you do like an impression of her

yeah she sounds like

hello billy this is amelia

i sound like a nice lady who is your

friend

and i like to teach you things that’s

what she sounds like

wow yeah okay i mean i’m sold

dr london what do you think about all

this do you ever

do you ever hear well actually at

your age it’s normal to have you know

your imaginary friends

stuffed animals those she talked to

she’s

yeah what are you doing i’m sorry

what what is it hey billy yeah we know

that amelia’s

real dr london he is not a believer

in anything interesting or cool yeah she

was that’s why he became a doctor

she watches constantine with me and like

all the other keanu reeves movies you

can shake a stick at

all of them we watch together spiders

love keanu reeves

wait do you have constantine like on

blu-ray or do you just have it digitally

can i borrow it if it’s on blue oh i’m

sorry

i don’t think i have anything on blu-ray

i have it

digitally my mom got it for me for

christmas

damn it but maybe i mean if you wanted

to watch it with me

and amelia i mean that’d be okay with me

no i’d rather just borrow the bar with a

blu-ray if you can rip a copy for me

maybe burn it to like a dvd-r

i can just watch it like that it’s

totally fine anyway dr london

can i talk to you for a second yeah

what are you doing coming in here saying

uh you like uh you it’s normal to have

imaginary friends at that age dr

london this isn’t an imaginary friend

this is a kid who can talk

to bugs do you not realize how powerful

that is

and how maybe if we get on the right

this kid is a super fan of us

i told you this podcast was gonna pay

off one day this kid is obsessed with

our podcast

probably because of the beer that i hand

out to all the neighborhood kids

and this kid can talk to spiders which

we could possibly use that power for you

know

some at least a project or something

i’d maybe like build something i don’t i

don’t know i haven’t thought about it

this is all new information for me

okay this is incredible so we we can go

back

and talk about that but before we go

back in there

what i need you to do is please do not

try to sell him any of your beer

okay that beer i have to assume

if the kid is a fan of ours he’s got

like a 12 pack at home i mean

i don’t need to sell it the beer sells

itself so yeah

no problem okay because it remembers

what happened

the side effects i guarantee that kid is

stocked up

okay and you can tell because of the eye

goop yes

that’s why i was curious about the

strain because if it’s from the

southwest it’s got to be from the beer

because we have a specific southwestern

strain of eye goop going around it’s a

long story

okay we can go back in

so billy um you haven’t

you haven’t sampled any drinks with

cameron’s name on it

have you oh yeah my mom yeah

my mom buys me that stuff all the time

it’s like the one thing she does

because she goes like in her room and

makes and she goes hunts

with uh her friends that come over

sometimes and closes the door

and then leaves me with like all kinds

of bottles of cameron’s bloody beer

oh okay so you do recognize the very

specific

name why do you think i buy it and i

listen to you guys so much

my mom bought that stuff for me because

she says i’m a little too positive

sometimes and i just need to relax and

be realistic

so she tells you to drink that and i get

sad laid out

yeah it’s a real downer and that’s you

know that’s sort of built into the

product

but we do thank you for being a fan of

not only the podcast but for the number

one beer

in juvenile detention center oh yeah i’m

all in like

i love you guys that’s why i want you to

break up so bad

i mean i really do appreciate that but

you know sometimes

i don’t know sometimes you got to move

on billy but

you know i you know let’s not sit and

talk about the depressing

how depressing it is that i’m going to

be traveling the world while dr london’s

you know stuck here sucking his thumb

uh what i want to i want to hear more

about

uh your f your communication with your

friend amelia

so so you when you talk like you just

say like

hey amelia go do that like do you

command her to do things or is she

more like commanding you to do things

uh well amelia taught me about consent

and we don’t command each other to do

anything

we’re two friends and we talk about

stuff and she does what she wants and i

do what i want

she’s not here right now but like you

know she’s gotta go get bug friends to

put her web so she could eat

but no we’re just like friends and we

hang out like she doesn’t command me

like uh like a demon or nothing

so i mean there’s no world in which you

could let’s say

rise up an army of spiders and have them

do your bidding is that

out of the question you know uh i never

thought about that but that sounds kind

of like a good idea

i’m gonna have to talk with you about

that yeah yeah and think about it like

amelia

amelia can have a high position in this

hierarchy

yeah amelia can be like the ceo or

president of all the other spiders or

whatever

i think she would like that it’s just

you know maybe

being something of like a spider king

that maybe could you know help the

podcast

out in some ways you know whatever you

got dr london can you think of any

can any spider any spider related things

that we might need

yeah okay so and look i don’t actually

think you should manipulate your

friend oh i want a hammock i feel like

that’s

right up y’all’s alley right oh i’ll ask

her when she comes back home

i i feel cameron like maybe

the webs of a spider aren’t really up to

the task of sustaining your

weight and that’s not that’s not

intentional you’re saying that

you’re saying that our guest’s best

friend

is unable to create like a quality solid

product

dr london what are you doing why are you

so rude to our guest billy i am so sorry

about that i just don’t understand why

he doesn’t he doesn’t like amelia very

much oh okay don’t question don’t marry

don’t cry okay but uh billy i wanna know

i wanna know

like what what brought you here today

what do you want to what do you want to

talk about on

on the podcast okay

first and foremost i want people to know

that spiders are good at their friends

but the other main thing is what i’m

really

uh making a a fish for is

that i could get the scoop out of my

eyes and maybe

i could have a friend that’s a person

for when amelia’s not here

okay you’re you’re just searching for a

friend

well yeah okay everybody’s searching for

a friend and mr cameron producer man

he’s looking for a blonde friend and

i’ll take a blonde friend or

a red friend any kind of friend oh yeah

this is perfect

okay so for your first issue

uh because yeah you’re looking for a

friend and then and then

what was your first issue i’m sorry oh

the eye goop oh yeah yeah

that’s right there’s a lot of goose and

it dries up sometimes in the mornings

right so what i’m thinking is

two things off the top of my head uh

allergies

could be allergies okay could also

be what cameron said that

i goop is apparently a side effect of

cameron’s buddy beer

which is a very minor side effect

compared to some of the other things

i’ve heard about it

which for those who aren’t aware also

can cause paralysis

and suicidal ideation can

cause that’s a key word there it can’t

it you know it

could cause superpowers i don’t know

anything could cause anything

well it has been known correlation does

not equal

causation in this case this is causation

and not correlation it’s just

straightforward causation but if you

if you look at the overall pattern um

you can see that um i mean i mean you

know

uh billy here is having a good time yeah

right billy yeah i drink that stuff

and i get sad and i think about stuff

and then i go to sleep

and i sleep really i want to hear about

this plan

with the eye goop to help create a new

friend

i am very intrigued about this and i

would like to sign up for this project

as well well i mean i don’t want to take

the goo with like

and boulder fred like pretend it’s clay

or anything is that what you say

is that what you’re saying i don’t know

i wasn’t exactly sure

but i’m down for i mean whatever if it’s

making little clay figurines of people

and talking to them

that sounds awesome if it’s using them

in some sort of magical way that like

grows a person

that’s cool too i didn’t try that i just

was gonna

i just wanted the eye goo to go away so

the kids in my class

uh could look at me and they’re not

disgusted by me anymore

okay well no i i dr london is there not

a way that we can take the i goop from

this situation

clone billy so then he has the perfect

best friend who understands all of his

all of his issues oh my god i i don’t

know that that specifically is that

technology has to be around right you

think sony does it

i’m i’m not sure the i goop to person

converter

please i hope that’s because you’ve i’m

sorry what was that

i really hope that exists i went on that

so much

well here’s here’s an issue i’m thinking

i have seen cameron with barrels

of a similar substance

after he’s given you know his beard to

children

he’s i’ve seen cameron that you’ve been

kind of hoarding the stuff away and

if your end game is to try to use it to

make a new person

i don’t know that’s well ethical

or even good

you know so that’s if that’s your plan

here no no i mean that wasn’t my plan

before right now

it’s my plan now for sure is to well the

plan now is to use igoop to

clone billy give him the best friend

ever

and then go to mount everest like the

second this recording

okay ends plan before with collecting

any sort of excess

or you know i goop that people may have

or whatever is just you know

i don’t i i didn’t really have a game

plan i figured if someone wanted it so

anyway i guess billy if you would

maybe just ask your mom about allergy

medicine

okay then that that can probably

and also i would say stop drinking the

beer i mean

i don’t try to drink it all the time

it’s just when my mom wants me to drink

because like when she has her friends

over at a ghost hunt um

she doesn’t want me to to like knock on

the door or try to come in or anything

like that

well yeah because she’s busy with her

friend’s ghost hunting i wouldn’t

want to interrupt that at all have they

found any ghosts

um i don’t know if they found any but i

sure hear a lot of ghost noises coming

from

in that bedroom so i don’t know i think

they’re finding them but i don’t think

they’re getting rid of them or anything

there’s more keep coming well i mean

that can be a struggle especially if you

don’t have a priest with you

yeah i don’t know if a priest would want

to come into this apartment my mom talks

about god all the time she’s always like

oh god oh my god so

i don’t know maybe okay wait i have one

other question i’m sorry i interrupted

do you think maybe do you think my eye

goo comes from

uh my rottweiler i have a dog

and like that the dog eats poop and it

also has

allergies and it sees in my eye

sometimes yeah that’s a real possibility

because

there are you know allergens in you know

pet fur in general so cats dogs whatever

and sometimes those can you know

irritate the eyes and

everything so that that could definitely

be a cause as well

um but once again just ask your mom

about some allergy medicine

and i i do have to mention it does say

this on the buddy beer

can but do not let any sort of dog

slobber

mix with the buddy beer it will

if you start seeing the the liquid

boiling

you need to throw that in some sort of

uh i don’t know like metal container as

quickly as possible

well it makes me really want to try that

now

like is it gonna make me die or is it

just fun to look at why do i have to

throw it out it’s perfectly good beer

well i mean i could tell you but i think

you know a curiosity is a good trait to

have

it it’s it’s good to want to learn

things so i mean

you know it sounds like a fun science

experiment that sounds amazing i’ll have

when amelia comes back that’s what we’re

gonna do

okay um but yeah let’s so

since we’ve maybe for now

solved the riddle of what is causing the

eye goop

um we can go ahead and we just

i’m sorry billy if i don’t know if

you’ve listened to our last few episodes

but

we’ve had these chores i don’t know if

you have chores around your house

oh gosh don’t even bring up the chores

look we we we’ve had this chore list

that’s

grown larger and larger over the course

of the last i don’t know it feels like a

million years

and we have been just trying to come up

with a fun way

to just knock off all these shores and

knock off all these tasks

and so we created the chore wheel and we

spin it every week

and we whatever chore it lands on that

just like what we have to do

and you know look i don’t want to have

to do it either i would love to be just

hanging out by the beach

sunglasses on my face drinking like uh

you know uh what’s it what’s it like a

beach drink

like a what like a like a like a like a

milk yeah whole milk like a whole

milk that sounds delicious yeah i’d

rather be doing that um but uh

unfortunately we’ve got to take care of

these chores so let me uh

let’s see we got to get the chore wheel

going uh

dj dillon can you fire that baby up

please yes

yeah unfortunately it landed on

make prank phone calls god i hate that

we have to do this look guys

i do not endorse prank phone calls i

don’t think they’re funny but they’re on

the go

we’re supposed to do it yeah and this is

a legal obligation

this is part of the whole madonna

lawsuit

um community service

is essentially what this boils down to

i’m sorry i want community service if i

get to make

craig phone calls for fun yeah can i do

stuff to get community service too

yeah do you have like a window near you

you could throw a baseball through or

something

oh yeah don’t brag go ahead and do that

real quick okay

all right perfect okay then yeah yeah

you’ll want to make these calls with us

too

i was gonna say um the window has to be

closed for

for what cameron’s talking about it

can’t be an open window that i mean

that that depends if if a stranger threw

like a baseball through your open window

that would be kind of

startling okay i guess i assume try it

again later

outside or inside rather have to try it

again later when the window is closed

that do you want me to throw it now

while the lid is closed

uh i would say you do you i’m doing it

i did it i broke a window okay so let’s

go ahead and start the

call and i guess for all three of us

i you know billy just maybe follow our

lead or if you want to take the lead

i i don’t do a lot of prank calls these

days but

i’m i’m a bit of an expert i can take

the lead on this one i think

yeah but we’re just we’re just hammering

does

prank call me a lot quite a bit so let’s

just do

a random number in the phone book we’re

just gonna shuffle through

and all right dj dylan go ahead and call

that one

hello uh

hello who am i

speaking to that’s really good this is

smoking

barth oh

wait uh you’re

are you that guy who like like collects

teeth or something also known as the

tooth fairy yep

that’s right uh well uh

uh wait are you bit are you busy right

now

gotcha please leave a message after the

time oh

mother oh okay hang up hang up dylan

hang up

god okay said that right that didn’t go

the way i thought it would go

no i hated that i we were the prankies

on that one

all right london you pick a new number

out of the out of the book

okay just

okay okay uh let’s see that one’s got a

little

did you did you write the star next to

the name yeah this one circled

this number

hello before you say anything i’m not

doing any returns okay

if you gave a gold tooth or a silver

tooth for example and you expected more

than a dollar

that’s not going to happen all right so

before you say anything i’ve already

heard it

already no it’s a dollar per tooth

and you already know it okay

i’m sorry is your refrigerator running

is your refrigerator hold on no this

would be so good

it’s gonna be so good are you asking

about because i did get a gold tooth

but i already said i’m only paying one

dollar

no i’m actually so calling about a uh

refrigerator i wouldn’t

i’d do repairs and things um

does your refrigerator and billy if you

want to help out here

is is there a refrigerator do you have

is yours is yours running

refrigerator let me go check

oh my gosh she’s actually checking it

he’s actually checking again he’s

actually checking it no way

oh man what are you i’m drinking so much

your beer right now

yeah oh no well my neighbor meat is

still frozen

so i think it’s working then you better

go cat

oh work uh so it’s so another way to say

work

you’re a young man who runs a business

an upstanding

uh repair business is that what you’re

trying to say

yeah i run a business i guess but

you’re a young entrepreneur okay that’s

what i’m speaking

that’s what i’m speaking with okay yeah

so i just wanted to

so i was just checking is your

refrigerator

another way to say that it’s working

would be like

you might say i don’t know is your

refrigerator running

then yeah

why did you say that why didn’t i say

that no why did why did you say that

oh because that’s the how did you think

the joke yet

are we still in the line no i thought we

were just talking about like you were

just pretending to be like a

refrigerator repairman

hang up hiccup hang up dylan hang on

i love community service okay this is so

great okay we gotta do one

more billy do you want to do this one

yeah i’ve been chugging this beard and

my brain’s getting real strange right

now

so i’m ready to do it okay perfect all

right cool

and a new number because i can’t help

but feel like that one well yeah it was

smoking barth

past guest on this show aka the tooth

fairy

smokin bar seems to have monopolized

multiple numbers here because

that was that was him both times right

it did sound like him yeah

anyway yeah go to the end go to the back

of the book go to the where it says like

zed or whatever yeah

but don’t call zed i’ll take all the

numbers i don’t call zad

hello marilyn here

hello uh this is your doctor and i’m

calling

to you with your test results and we

found out that you have

[Music]

barth you’re not gonna believe this

you won chlamydia and now you take pills

for it to go away

and you have to go to the doctor now oh

my gosh but this sounds like

it’s actually kind of misleading

medically and like maybe

london shut up doctor shut up what do

you mean undue duress

oh what is that uh a person on the phone

how does that make you uh

feel well i definitely don’t like

hearing that my wife has chlamydia

it comes from toilet seats it’s okay

that’s what my mom says

so just take pills and it goes away and

you your wife will be fine

okay let me get hey let’s hang up let’s

hang out

did i do good you guys oh you did so

good billy yeah that was great

i mean i think we can officially say

that we

have completed this chore right for

today have we completed the community

service

yeah okay community services so

it was pretty awesome all right yeah

thank you billy for your help there

or potentially just working towards your

own community service which

is likely just statistically based

on the fact that you are drinking

cameron’s buddy beer right now

that throws you into a whole statistical

London Smith (.com)

65: Tension pneumothorax/spider facts with billy (feat. Tanja rowland)

The Life of London Smith In Video Form