Hey hey kids you’re about to

listen to a comedy podcast that means

that none of this medical advice hey if

you need medical advice or medical care

please please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring dr. London Smith you already

know what it is the government doesn’t

want you listening to jock doc but

you’re no sheep nope

introducing your host dr. London and

welcome to the jock doc podcast where we

discuss fitness and health yes how to

incorporate our modern understanding of

science and medicine into our daily

lives but without it being so boring I’m

your host dr. London smith.com I’d like

to begin by apologizing to our listeners

you’ve received some feedback about the

excessive amount of technical medical

terms that I’ve been using such as

transient visual obscurations and here

chicka chicka chicka back burn so I will

try to temper my terminology to a

simpler one in the future here to help

with that is our producer Cameron good

morning dr. London good morning well is

it morning for you right now well what

do you mean I mean it either is morning

or it’s not morning yeah I just yes for

me like my understanding is that we’re

recording a little bit later in the day

did you just wake up that’s I guess

that’s what I’m asking no I just wake up

it I’m pretty sure it’s morning dr.

London I don’t what would eat we would

it what are you

what evidence leads you to believe that

we’re recording later in the evening

I guess just because we I know we can

only go off with the evidence that we

have so I’m not trying to judge and say

that you know your truth is invalid just

because it’s not my truth but I you know

what what leads you to believe that

that’s the time

okay so it’d be that just the way the

clock works so the slock so your phone

is that way you’re you’re saying your

phone your computer

that’s what we’re this is being based

off of is yes technology which is of

course fallible that’s that’s what we’re

basing this off of well it’s that as

well as the the window I can see out of

but admittedly looking outside the

window doesn’t necessarily tell me from

this angle what time I feel like we are

getting caught up in a little well maybe

no I’m just saying like why are we

trusting so much in technology when we

can trust nature I can look outside

right now and I can see that it’s kind

of light but not as light as it should

be in the middle of the afternoon so

what does that tell me that it’s either

dawn or dusk I know it can’t be dusk

because of my knees what do you mean by

that

you know how people’s knees and stuff

sometimes act up if like weather’s

coming through yes you know humidity or

blah blah blah or something well in the

same way my knee starts growing when

it’s morning it’s my it’s my wake-up

call it’s my register and so my knee has

hurting so bad right now so I use these

two clues from nature and from there I’m

able to use that evidence and come to a

natural conclusion without having to

rely on computers and robots and bleep

blorp

bleep blorp zero one one zero zero zero

one okay so I guess one one little issue

there is that you know joints if they

ate at a certain time of day that can

actually be indicative of a pathology a

disease an illness so like rheumatoid

arthritis for instance if you wake up a

you know in the morning and you feel

this joint pain and maybe some swelling

for for an extended period of time

that could indicate that you have some

sort of some form of arthritis

okay and that’s fine but how does that

change the fact that it happens in the

morning so I can thusly set my watch to

it okay okay so you’re you’re just

acknowledging that I have a disease we

know I have a ton of diseases dr. London

I would say that’s the primary subject

of this podcast the various illnesses

that I have I am fully aware that what

this body is a diseased vessel it’s more

of a rocket ship for germs to be passed

yes and it is a human body we know that

okay but you’re questioning the reliance

of its timekeeping abilities which I

take offense to take offense of take

offense okay well okay I guess you know

not really relevant I guess because

especially whenever people are you know

staying in their homes for the most part

anyway a lot of people lose track of the

time of day it doesn’t really matter all

that to say good morning dr. London so

the sub producer Cameron and Cameron is

so dedicated to making sure that our

podcast stays relevant that when he

heard it was international kissing day

today he became very excited because he

had also recently heard of the term

sunkissed skin so Cameron I understand

that you’ve been trying to get a kiss

from the Sun yeah and it’s kind of

frustrating cuz I think especially right

now with the climate that we’re in

obviously I don’t want to overstep any

boundaries that’s not relevant even to

the climate that we’re in but you know

the climate we’re in makes it more

conscious on my mind and so I sort of

keep asking permission you know hey son

can you give me a little kiss and

unfortunately I have not received a

response which is very typical in this

kind of situation for me for you

whenever you ask any person or object

when I ask the son when I ask a lamp

when I ask like my mom’s friend when I

ask my boss like when I ask oh so no the

humans aren’t responding either yeah

just I’m usually I get nothing well I

would say you know you do that is a good

important thing to do Cameron focus on

you know you want to get consent before

anything like that

absolutely

yeah because you otherwise it is a form

of sexual assault so with the Sun I

don’t know that the physics of it will

allow you to actually follow through

with with either way it just makes me

want it more dr. London okay

well also with us is DJ DYLAN IN

DA HOUSE

[Music]

and judge and say that you know your

truth is invalid just because it’s not

my truth I think especially right now

with the climate that we’re in obviously

I don’t want to overstep any boundaries

that’s not relevant even to the climate

that we’re in but you know the climate

we’re in and makes it more conscious

[Music]

Jasha tended to your trees is invalid if

my tree and later Cameron tells me that

we can expect a special guest an actual

doctor that’s right dr. London

he’s probably yours or something right

don’t all y’all know each other well not

necessarily I mean assuming that he’s a

medical doctor then there’s there’s a

chance that I’ve you know met him or

seen him sure but like I mean you you

know everyone who’s a doctor right yeah

I wanted to meet someone or get a hold

of someone who was a doctor I could go

through you right I mean that right well

no no I guess the point I was making

there is that you don’t see you okay

okay so if our entire hypothetically if

our entire friendship and this podcast

was based around the fact that I’m

trying to meet dr. Dre you’re telling me

that you are unable to do that okay well

to my knowledge the answer I guess in

short would be no because I’m I don’t

personally know dr. Dre in part because

I knowledge he is not a medical facility

take that back take that back

tonight my limited knowledge let me take

that back yes

but I guess I’ll just over the draw all

statements on the matter okay wish she

would just withdrawal statements in

general yes

yeah well it’s it’s kind of difficult

whenever I’m you know the host of a of a

podcast but we can we can go on can

change that anytime the host of this

podcast is a fluid thing nothing set in

stone just something to keep in your

mind dr. London okay well before we move

on I would like to address a bit of

listener feedback I found this note

attached to a dart that I found in my

neck after I woke up while you know I

had taken a walk through the woods while

trying to go camping

anyway you weren’t sure the note thing

you were burying something that that’s

neither here nor there and like really

we’re supposed to focus on this note not

not what I did you spend the night did

you spend the night in the woods like

the whole night you did you sleep on the

ground yes sir now I or did you go out

to the woods bury something really late

at night and then come back and are

trying to tell people you went camping

oh I would camping well well the problem

is as I said so it dart went into my

neck so I don’t I didn’t keep track of

time while that happened I don’t know

when I how long I was out when I woke up

any of that so but I assume it was

listener feedback because there was a

note attached to that Dart

and it said quote congratulations

Kathleen I hope you are doing well my

grandson has graduated and we are very

proud of him how are your kids

my husband has hemorrhoids it is not fun

hope you are well god bless you and your

family love faith end quote

so first of all I would like to thank

these listeners so much for their

insightful question or I guess one

listener to answer your question I I

actually do not have children nope and I

agree that hemorrhoids are not fun nope

as a small side note and contra maybe

you can speak to this but I actually do

not typically go by the name kathleen

nope i tend to prefer dr. lennon

smith.com but buddy how is this relevant

to me what why’d you mention my name

because sometimes you give me nicknames

and maybe this is one of the nicknames

you’ve told people mmm I don’t know this

person okay I I’m just I was just

checking so I tend to prefer dr. William

Smith calm but if Kathleen is easier for

our listeners to say or if it’s more

comfortable that’s also fine with me

such as listener thank you for listening

I mean we you know full well that most

of our listeners can’t talk at all

either due to their age or due to an

accident I guess I wasn’t aware of that

is this more of because you haven’t

really been bringing up the listener

statistics lately yeah and I assume news

because like you know there’s nothing

remarkable about them I mean there’s not

anything remarkable about them because I

can’t even talk but yeah I mean you know

a new demographic that we’ve definitely

been appealing to a lot lately are

people who have burned themselves with

acid okay and you see that as I guess it

doesn’t matter how you see it because

that’s the demographic yeah I don’t know

why I don’t think that we’ve been doing

a lot of acid specific stuff or people

with you know kind of burned off mouth

specific stuff I you know we haven’t

really been doing that kind of stuff but

yeah I you know I can’t argue the

numbers yeah okay well I mean good to

know and to those listeners thank you

for listening and I guess we’ll try to

we’ll try to make some of the content a

little bit more mal I guess

disability-friendly actually

feedback right here it also I completely

forgot about this can I can I read this

real quick sure yeah great to hear from

[Music]

and what was that written now yep okay

well thank you to her to that listener

I’m not I’m not exactly sure how to

answer that if that was a question I

didn’t hear like a the questioning and

it wasn’t an accusation okay well once

again I guess I apologize if I’ve been

disrespectful in any way to to people

with disabilities or you know those who

are marginalized in some way mouth lists

right mm-hmm so I I apologize if I’ve

been insensitive to these groups and I

will try to do better in the future and

yeah I’m not sure what what more I could

say there well at least you can say

something some people aren’t so lucky

yeah now for today’s medical topic small

cell carcinoma small cell carcinoma is a

neuroendocrine carcinoma that exhibits

aggressive behavior rapid growth early

spread to distant sites exquisite

sensitivity to chemotherapy and

radiation and frequent association with

distinct paraneoplastic syndromes

including hypercalcemia eaten Lambert

syndrome syndrome of inappropriate

antidiuretic hormone secretion also

known as SIADH and many others so small

cell carcinoma that makes up 25% of lung

cancers and ninety-eight percent of

patients with small cell lung carcinoma

have a smoking history so one reason why

smoking cessation is so important is

because there are still really no

effective screening tools to catch the

lung cancer early on

so by the time signs and symptoms appear

the disease is usually widespread and

sorry Cameron I feel like I have been

excluding you a little bit too much

maybe alienating you with these medical

lessons so you know if you have any

questions while we will I talked about

this I mean we’re just talking about the

same old dr. London I mean you’re

talking about the smoking sensation

again your talk you said Neil in there I

don’t know any Neil so I have nothing to

talk about there and then you’re talking

about all this small stuff and I’m I

don’t know I just think bigger than all

this stuff you keep talking about like

small stuff in cells and germs and all

this stuff and I’m sorry but I don’t

think on a small scale I I think big I’m

a big things yes

Mount Lee will get too large sell cars

blue right now Wales right now we’re on

small roller coaster it’s right the

biggest rubber band ball in the world

doctor London these are the things that

consumed my thoughts okay well and I

don’t I know that will be so relevant to

this particular you know medical lesson

but so patient was clinically would this

letter that I have from someone who has

lung cancer would that be more relevant

this listener of ours who would sent

this in

oh sure sure we don’t want to we want to

hear from my listeners so this is a

disciplinary of ours who unfortunately

has lung cancer which is relevant to

what you’re talking about right

and he said

[Music]

okay well thank you to to that listener

for for chiming in with that with that

bit of feedback we we always appreciate

hearing from our listeners so you know

don’t be afraid to keep sending these in

I it is difficult to tell like just from

my perspective what exactly is you’re

trying to convey but any case I’ll go

back to the medical lesson for the

moment yeah I think that’ll be fine yeah

so clinically patients may present with

local airway and involvement leading to

cough hemoptysis which is coughing up

blood obstruction and that’s where the

you know the tumor will literally block

off part of the the airway they can have

wheezing and dyspnea or you know

shortness of breath difficulty breathing

patients may also have what I referred

to as constitutional symptoms such as

anorexia the a constitutional symptoms

yeah trust me okay drink too much milk

or something I don’t I don’t know what

was going on but nothing was happening

for a while

I’ll say that so you say you had some

anorexia from that or weight loss no

constitutional problems I’m saying like

I ate I don’t know if it was the bill oh

I don’t know if it’s the amount of

cheese I had I don’t know what it was

but I have institutional problems for

like four days it was by a constipated

that’s what you mean I you know we don’t

have to get dirty okay well anyway so

patients made these constitutional

symptoms but once again these symptoms

don’t typically appear until the patient

is in advanced disease so so now we’ll

cover and I just want to say look I’m

not a doctor and I’m not gonna sit here

and claim that I’m a doctor or that I

know better than anyone else but

anorexia is not one of the causes of

constipation that’s actually the

opposite I understand that that person

is not

going number two and so it can be easy

for them to think that they are

constipated but that is because they’re

not putting food in their mouth dr.

London that’s why they’re not able to do

that yes I just want to just for the

record I think it’s important that we’re

accurate on the show yeah so anorexia

what I’m referring to it’s just the not

eating whereas I think what you might be

referring to is the psychological

illness of psychiatric illness anorexia

nervosa maybe which is you know not

eating to the point that you have

decreased BMI and everything anyway um

so it sounds like you listen to two key

words that I was saying but not at all

of what I was saying at all okay well so

so right now we’re gonna go ahead and

cover some of the paraneoplastic

syndromes associated with small cell

carcinoma I’m trying to explain for our

listeners that the reason they’re not

pooping if they’re interested is because

they’re not eating right and it’s sure

not because they’re constipated so we’ll

discuss these a little bit more in depth

whenever we discuss endocrinology but

for now we’re gonna cover a couple

common ones that are associated with

small cell lung carcinoma one common

syndrome is syndrome of inappropriate

secretion of antidiuretic hormone or si

ATH in which the hormone that normally

tells your kidneys to stop making urine

is secreted in excess so you end up

retaining fluid rather than peeing it

out and this results in dilution and

disruption of the the patient’s

electrolyte imbalances another most

common associated pair note

paraneoplastic syndrome is a syndrome of

ectopic adrenocorticotropic hormone or

acth production so in this condition

ACTH stimulates the cortisol release

from the adrenal glands without the

normal negative feedback loop and

this results and changes an appearance

like central obesity extra fat behind

the neck known as Buffalo Hump purple

striae on the abdomen they can have acne

easy bruising high blood pressure muscle

wasting weakness and a range of other

effects basically associated with you

know corticosteroid use so these are

just a few of the potential associated

paraneoplastic syndromes associated with

small cell lung carcinoma but as far as

treatment goes in limited stage small

cell lung carcinoma the cancer is

potentially curable using chemotherapy

and radiation along with surgical

resection reserved for certain patients

extensive stage cancer is not considered

to be curable and in these patients

systemic chemotherapy is used to improve

the quality of life and prolong survival

but also smoking cessation that’s

actually the biggest point emphasized

here just stop smoking and then yeah

that’ll that’s tied to you know

improvement or decreased chance of

getting the cancer in the first place

well what’s interesting here I don’t

have to I have the tab muted in my

Chrome browser right now but you know

I’m watching this actress breaking

character four straight for ten minutes

video and it seems like Jeri and George

on Seinfeld one time they broke

character they were wearing mustaches I

don’t know I don’t remember this episode

but if they seem to be laughing quite a

bit about it okay so yeah I’m not I’m

not sure that’s incredibly relevant but

yeah interesting interesting to note

there well it’s more relevant to me than

the crap you’re pushing out there doctor

London do that was that some sort of

constipation joke no but it could be

detailing could you edit that into a

funny joke

yes well it’s more relevant than even

the crap you’re pushing out there dr.

London

[Music]

[Applause]

thanks TV alright well yeah we can move

on from there

all right Cameron you said that we have

a guest today a doctor that is right dr.

lund and I know you are always talking

about why on our guest doctors why is it

just these people who keep harassing me

and keep slashing my tires so I tried to

find someone that I thought you would

approve of who wouldn’t slash my tires

that is to be determined okay okay

hello there my name is dr. London

smith.com

and this is our producer Cameron what’s

your name my name is dr. Evans okay nice

to meet you hi dr. Evans hello hi so uh

so what brings you on the show today I

know so we’re a medical education

podcast so my area expertise let me give

you a little bit of synapses on where

I’m coming from I’m a newly licensed

planetary care physician with the

planetary Institute of the universe Wow

Oh a planet planetary care okay so yeah

yeah it’s a it’s a latest institute of

cosmology were basically in charge of

gauging the health of planets within the

Milky Way galaxy and my latest

assignment which this will catch your

interest I just finished giving Earth

its first physical its first physical

examination we’ve really not given it

its due diligence up until just this

latest millennium so this is this is not

unlike like the Presidential Fitness

Test this is not on life or yeah well or

do yeah a normal physical exam you’ll I

mean you’ll you’ll take vitals of course

I’m thinking of a physical test but this

is this is talking about like taking

someone’s blood this is comprehensive

yeah yeah yeah yeah physically touching

and they’re acting with a patient so so

wait what does that entail for you so

you’re doing this for the earth over yes

like the planet it takes about decades

to complete yeah I just finished it I

began it in the year 2000 so the last

20 years if you can gauge your memory

has been what I’ve been gauging the

planetary fitness level to be and it’s

not looking terribly bright to be honest

with you okay let me get in this mindset

real quick it’s the year 2000 year 2000

I just got I just left the movie theater

from watching maybe like there’s

something about Mary ah yes I remember

that and I was listening to 6 feet from

the edge by Creed is that the name of

that song yeah is this is this also this

is a ringing a bell yeah I had two gates

the cultural phenomenon of the time and

I remember all of this yeah okay okay I

mean I’m in the right headspace now we

gave several factors to be considered

but I ended up giving it a terminal

diagnosis unfortunately I just finished

my conclusions the other day and I have

to give Earth optimistically six to

eight months to live before we can no

longer sustain life please earth itself

is going to die are you unfortunately

not earth it won’t be able to sustain

life so more specifically it’s a

terminal diagnosis for the prevailing

species on earth being humanity you guys

so you won’t be able to live any more

holy you say you guys oh yeah no I’m not

a human I think you may have had that

mixed up I’m a planetary doctor what you

might refer to as an angel I think you

guys have that mixed up they you think

guardian angels I’m like a guardian of

planets I was assigned here by God he’s

a dick by the way spoiler alert yeah he

gave me earth was its first project big

20 years to figure out that it’s

terminal

galavan’s screwing it up unfortunately

okay so you’re you’re saying that you’re

a heavenly being I’m I have yeah okay

going by at least I guess the the guise

of a physician okay so you say I’m sorry

you say six to eight months six to eight

months

that’s optimistically it could be

State weeks for all I know largely due

in part to Italy so you’re just to

clarify you spent two decades on this

and you can’t give us a better window

than six to eight weeks or six to eight

months just the six and the eight that

are important here yeah

could that be could you be mixing that

up to be you know there’s a chance

I mean I’ve sent my findings to my

supervisor I haven’t heard back from him

yet so for all I know I’ve missed I not

carried a decimal somewhere so you could

hope for that I mean well what what what

are the I mean what what some of the

examinations you did how did you come to

this conclusion you know I was I was

given dr. London a lot of grief earlier

for relying on robots and such to come

to conclusions yeah we don’t rely on

robots they’re very faulty we rely on

these heavenly instruments which gauged

the you know healthy attributes of a

given celestial body and in this case

it’s largely due in part to a series of

cancerous growths found along the whole

of a planet or what you might refer to

as the outer crust which are largely

described as an invasive species yeah

it’s kind of is killing the host that’s

yes the largest outer crust so that’s

that’s where we are yes humans yes are

you referring to humanity as the cancer

on this planet

pretty much it’s hard to distinguish

between the two definitions when you

describe humanity and you describe out

you know like cancer or virus they’re

indistinguishable from one to the other

so like cuz we were just talking about

cancer for the medical lesson so it

you’re saying that humanity is malignant

you know multiplying invasive absolutely

yeah this carcinoma that you were

referring to I had it mixed up with Jer

balsam marrow of these think is the

president of Brazil he’s one of the

biggest culprits these are burning down

the Amazon down there which as you know

are the lungs of the planet and so you

could say that planet Earth has

concocted a small cell lung carcinoma of

the lungs wait they’re blaming the like

in the rainforest and in the Amazon on

that guy you know I not like not like a

guy in his early 30s from America who

was maybe just trying to like kept some

ants on fire and things got cut out of

control and he he jetted that’s not

anywhere in your research I didn’t find

it oh okay oh yeah I mean they’ll be

weird if you did find something like

that right I mean like that’d be so

strange

yeah I’m gonna have to look back at the

data no no there’s no reason to do that

at all it’s just blamed on that guy it’s

all that guy and okay Cameron you don’t

want to you don’t want to confess

anything here no I’m suspicious here my

uh my angel instincts are starting to

tingle responsibility for this oh you

can just keep the subject going on well

what have some other things that lead

you to believe that I mean we as a

species are sort of a cancerous tumor

well the case symptoms have really shown

themselves just in the last few months

this year’s been rife with it you know

all the continent-sized fires in

Australia the spread of kovat 19 these

are clear indicators even the civil

unrest of the protests all clear

indicators of the terminal development

of the you know we’re in the end stages

of it that’s why I don’t give us very

long those Australian fires there wasn’t

anything in your findings about maybe

like an American who was traveling over

there because he was testing this sort

of competitor to bird scooters using

sort of rocket Jets and things went

really really wrong I relented there I

remember that clearly we have yet to

identify that individual but he was a oh

yeah oh yeah I had read about that on

Twitter that’s why I was asking about

that but I don’t I mean the you know

that just from the internet Cameron

didn’t you have nope didn’t we have a

sponsor no that trying to compete with

on scooters or no similar no sir don’t

remember that don’t remember anything

like no angel senses

here I’m gonna have to add you to my

list of suspects sir who who else is on

that list Joe Rogan is on that list

despite not being seen on the on that

continent

I had the Kobe Bryant until he died but

multiple individuals those are the only

two I think you’d be aware of okay it’s

largely on the species though I want to

make that clear

everyone bears responsibility for this

catastrophic cat catastrophic yeah

catastrophic diagnosis everyone save

save save maybe out what is this London

Smith London Smith came back is that

with the exclusion – that didn’t bear

any responsibility unfortunately yeah

unfortunately unfortunately I only say

that because after two decades of

diagnosis I kind of want I’m kind of

leaning towards the destruction of the

cancer obviously every doctor weren’t

the cancer that they diagnosed today

but London Smith was not a part of that

so yeah yeah hey dr. London can I

actually talk to you in private for a

second if that’s okay yeah yeah inside

mr. dr. angel sir could you just play

some games on my phone

sure sure I love games hey dr. Londe

yeah so this dr. angel guy I know his

name is an angel guy but he’s saying he

is an angel or whatever mm-hmm but

here’s the thing

one he’s telling us that all of this

stuff is gonna happen somewhere between

six to eight weeks from now or six to

eight months from now or years he

doesn’t really know where centuries or

millennia for millennia or whatever yeah

and – he’s here to place the blame on me

for everything well okay that part you I

don’t think that you were even going to

be blamed until you spoke up and himself

dr. London he’s talking about how he

loves when he finds out that everyone is

cancerous and awful not not everyone

obviously well but think about this

doctor in London

is this an angel or is this possibly a

former angel like he retired no think

lower dishonorable discharge no think an

angel that went from heaven which is as

we all know the sky to some place below

the ground it’s like a tunnel er like a

parachuting a mole man you think this

you think dr. Evans is a mole man yeah

obviously yes okay and I don’t I don’t

really know how to would it be in a mole

man’s best interest to get rid of the

surface dwellers and is oh could that be

okay yeah so they can use Six Flags any

time they want

right okay well let’s let’s get back to

sorry uh so dr. Evans um yes

did you conduct a lot of your research

underground by any chance

oh yes I had to place these gauge

instruments have any heavenly gauge

instruments to gauge the the health of

primarily the Amazon being the world’s

lungs and so that’s where a lot of the

data came from okay

and so but underground was the yes

method yes

did did a lot of your data collection

and research was that conducted

underground like just for the most part

no that the actual research was

conducted in heaven okay well I guess

you just you mean the compilation of the

research because obviously had to be

yeah on the planet for that okay you’ve

got you got the data from underground

compiled it up and the the heavens I

just can’t see I don’t I do think it’s

odd that that I am the so exception to

to the car to being a cause of the

malignancy because

as much as I do try to be eco-friendly I

sometimes do you know mess up in all

honesty that could very well be an

anomaly it’s the first time I’ve seen

such an exclusion I wouldn’t make on it

it’s your first assignment as well yes

I’m newly licensed I need to give that

in full disclosure I haven’t gotten the

findings back from my supervisor I’m

confident in them but you never know I

did want to explain the silver lining

though it’s not all dire okay yeah the

silver lining is a you know as much as

99% of the you know surface dwellers

will perish in about six to eight months

there is a outside chance of a dystopian

like post-apocalyptic existence going

forward which could be fun I’ve seen

plenty of movies that really hype that

up like The Matrix you could really see

Humanity flourishing in such an

environment so I would focus on that as

the the positive outcome here you watch

a lot of movie I do we’re big fans up

here okay just so you watch a lot of

movies at least like the matrix and I

don’t know maybe Mad Max or something

yes

strictly sci-fi is is our choice we

don’t understand the cultural references

of the rom-coms

right okay and you say that it’ll be

this great society but it is

you said 1% will be remaining yeah

that’s optimistic most of you will die

but approximately 1% might be able to

survive in a type of you know

post-apocalyptic environment which if

it’s anything like the movies could be

quite fun okay

so now as well I have a question real

quick though is the 99% is this are

these people being chosen or these is

this just a random number how do we make

ourselves one of these 1% you’d need to

be a billionaire most likely you got

that the resources to live in the type

of bunker environment I mean just look

at that environment in the Matrix movies

how the hell do they build that you’d

have to be somebody like that Amazon CEO

or Bill Gates

there are probably the ones that will

survive unfortunately so this 1% is kind

of the 1% you guys typically refer

to the 1% most powerful and all of those

people they’re likely to be the ones to

just survive unless you can get in as

like one of their personal slaves or

something like that that might be your

best bet so we dr. London we should be

good right isn’t that about where you’re

at

no ok so financially no so I’m I’m in

the 1% most educated nope in the world

but not yes I know that’s wrong that

that cannot be true even if it were I

wouldn’t count at all unfortunately yeah

that’s what I’m saying so yeah that

doesn’t seem to seem to matter but

you’re definitely you’ve definitely got

a like a billion dollars right no I

think you I think the cutoff is like 10

billion so even a billions not enough

yeah and I’m not well I think if we I

mean we can scrounge to get like if I

could sell my PlayStation and would you

have any assets your best bet is to

offer goods and services to the 1% if

you can get in as a one of their

providers in terms of service or do like

a blood bonus a doctor

yes which is more valuable in the in a

post-apocalyptic world a doctor or a

blood boy well what what blood type are

you Cameron it doesn’t matter well in

this new world negative I think would be

the preferred one since that’s correct

all they would want to negative I don’t

think Bill Gates is o-negative

I am unfortunately it’s just one of the

areas in which I got an A+ so I’m a

positive blood so just the way you said

that arrogance that I would get in

contact with them very soon you’ll want

to become one of their blood donors

immediately to you know get lumped in

with that 1% that’ll survive because

it’ll be soon it we probably won’t make

it to Christmas I mean is there anything

we can do to stop it

no maybe 20 years ago you know the the

latest studies largely the latest

studies that are often quoted here are

the measurements for Mount Monta Noah

from Hawaii they indicated co2 levels of

approximately 400 parts per million

which the last time that the co2 levels

were that high the oceans were 80 feet

higher than they currently are and you

know qualifying bit to know there is

that half the world’s population lives

within 20 miles of the ocean so that’s

just half the world right off the gate

so you’re saying that like there’s a

good chance than this new world we’ll

all be getting into sort of like water

sports and surfing a lot more oh yeah

movie Waterworld is very accurate very

accurate well I only know the ride sorry

you say twenty years ago we could have

done something but you you’re also

saying that 20 years ago is when you

started researching yeah it was very

hard to resist intervening and

explaining this twenty years ago but

it’s strictly against the guidelines

once we start to diagnose

this we have to remain completely remote

until the findings are divided yeah okay

so you mean is there a connection

between your research methodology and

the decline of the world sort of a

connection here just with these two data

points right now and that you started

this research 20 years ago being like

well if someone were to do something

right now it’d probably be fine but then

the more you’ve researched the worse

it’s got yeah it’s true that the

observer inevitably affects the observed

but what humans were doing 20 years ago

they just largely kept on doing they’ve

been warning sending out the warning

signs with this climate change

information for decades going back to

the 60s and 70s and they just keep

putting on the gas so I doubt anything

could have happened you bring up

something very interesting was that

which is that by of the the observer

affecting the outcome are you familiar

with the double slit experiment dr. no

the double slit experiment says that

when two thingies are shot through a

little slit yes then it becomes the it

becomes light it becomes no it it

reflects off of the gamma rays right

when you observe it it is more like

waterways and so that tells me it it

begs the question of do you know any of

these people that I could contact about

maybe be in their blood boy okay for our

listeners that was not an accurate

explanation of what the double split

experiment is oh yeah you don’t even

know the name of it dr. London you just

said the double split experiment which

is not what it’s a split so who are we

gonna trust the person who said it

correctly the first time or the person

who is stupid and who runs this podcast

I’m going with Cameron on this one that

sounded pletely accurate to me

okay all right so so what was your oh

your point was that observation as

opposed to direct intervention of my

point you’re affecting the outcome yeah

because that’s what quantum theory is

about the point is long gone dr. London

okay

would you mind website when do I get my

website plug oh I’m sorry about that you

have you have a website to plug oh yeah

yeah just cuz we’re earth-dwellers

or just because you’re thrillers and I’m

a heaven dweller it doesn’t mean we

don’t have the Internet I was gonna

mention to people to check out earth is

terminal comm where you can buy a

t-shirt that says the earth is doomed

just a slipper lining you might want to

die in that rather than your clothes yes

look I’m just gonna I’m gonna be upfront

here real quick before we get into the

website thing I gotta ask here you are

you’re talking you’re saying that you’re

sort of like a heavenly body and you

live with Wi-Fi in heaven and all this

kind of stuff but at the same time

you’re cheering on the destruction of

Earth is it possible and you got up you

gotta tell the truth to me right now is

it possible that you are a fallen angel

aka more commonly known as a moment a

mole person yeah I did fall and trip my

trip up my knee the other week and boom

yeah yeah I have to confess I do have to

tell the truth that it that is a true

statement I fell I hurt my knee and I

have not been the same since I heard you

earlier talking about restless leg

syndrome or something like that I’m

concerned on my you know contracted that

need time no knee time is just hot it’s

just a new form of time I’m talking

about restless leg syndrome right I know

what you’re talking about

I’m saying I’m talking about me time I

don’t have that no I’m not aware of this

dr. London can you explain to me the

medical science behind knee time well so

Cameron you keep on referring to like

you need to have your knee time and it’s

time just alone to feel your knees tell

you the time of day

uh-huh but I that’s you are the only

person I’ve ever heard referenced that

concept you might want to do a little

more research then have you looked on

the internet recently

nope oh you sir Cameron gov slash knee

time okay I have not checked that out

but what if we went to this website that

uh that our mole person friend dr. Evans

has proposed so you said it’s what about

Earth’s Oh earth is turning oh yeah you

can buy t-shirts earth is okay just type

that in okay okay so there its first

thing I guess we’ll register okay not

necessary but yeah you might want to so

yeah name okay it is asking for a lot of

information like personal information

yeah all those unrequired well no like

obviously I’m not gonna put in a social

security number we already know it

anyway yep so it’s also asking like what

are you wearing I’m gonna have I’ll talk

to the person that set that up that’s

inappropriate yeah well it also just my

webcam there’s a light for it when it’s

on and it did just turn on yeah I’m

gonna talk to have I have to talk about

talk to Dave about that Dave set up that

website I take no responsibility

I just know about the t-shirts yeah and

there yeah there is a there’s a little

tab for that but like this it really

seemed like he was pushing me towards

this par and it’s it’s just got all

these questions about like what am i

into are you sure you’re ready Earth is

terminal calm and that Earth is not work

no that was a key difference we thought

about changing the domain name to avoid

confusion but it gets right to the point

earth the earth is terminal calm is

where you want to be earth is terminal

org that’s the creeper site that we

found as well I think that’s what you

might be referring

to where they want to spy on your

webcams yeah not fun and I mean and

there’s in your research you found

nothing about like an American who set

up a website like that in order to get

in order to date a mine we tried we try

we were not able to find him okay or her

it could be her it could yeah yeah them

okay so well I get I think we’ve spent

enough time on the the website at this

point but just so we have the idea that

okay it’s uh it’s a place where you can

go to buy t-shirts right right terminal

comm you can buy t-shirts they earth is

doomed that’s about all there is okay I

guess I don’t

sure sure I guess that sounds fine any

questions for me on the fate of the

universe

well I mean I feel like you’ve answered

am I allowed to ask questions like

beyond the scope of Earth go for it I’ll

tell you what I know I mean do you when

was I know you’re a new employee but

when was the last time that’s happened

to a planet not that I have been able to

see at least in cases where there is an

active civilization currently residing

on the planet this has been a first oh

so wait wait so you’re also inspecting

other planets that can sustain life and

they’re doing just fine oh absolutely

Mars was doing great up until a few

millennia ago oh wait so when you say

you’re a new employee when did you say

you started again about 22 years ago

yeah 1998 but and before that what was

your job

oh well I was in training to become this

that’s what I started off as I didn’t do

anything before took me about two

millennia to get my doctorate

specializing in solar system health

localized to sub quadrant B of the Milky

Way galaxy I have to specify that that

encou incorporates the current solar

system yeah so I I gotta ask though what

was like the main thing we screwed up

like the number one thing that like God

if we just didn’t do that even if it was

from like millions of years ago or

whatever we know it’s something I didn’t

do we know that much we know

dr. London wasn’t involved we know there

is a mysterious American going around

the world making things well whenever

you went past the point of no return was

the emergence of animate yeah anime and

manga it’s something there yeah

you can blame anime that’s where it

really crossed over there was no hope

after that point so so you’ve seen that

the introduction of anime that and

that’s the hydration that that style

that is effectively I guess do some

chain reaction butterfly effect have a

thing that is what is causing the world

to end absolutely wait is it a butterfly

effect thing or is it that anime itself

was distracting people from doing good

or from you know cleaning up after

themselves all of it because I

admittedly I don’t watch really I don’t

really watch anime right but you are the

one exception dr. Holland in the

animated show was exquisite we’re big

fans but the creators are the ones that

bear the responsibility yeah there seems

to be some kind of like picture a Venn

diagram

you got the anime creators and then

you’ve got the people fucking up the

environment they’re in the same group so

so I didn’t really have to picture a

Venn diagram at all I just needed to

picture one circle precisely there’s a

little bit of an overlap and then an you

know there’s a few anime you know

contributors that had nothing to do with

it but it’s very it was good to practice

multiple circles correct so that’s not a

bad habit okay

well this this has been enlightening now

hopefully we can you know make some

progress

maybe we’ll surprise you with our

ability to try to become an organ donor

to the 1% that’s your best bet

to get in with that 1% survivors and the

dystopia in a post-apocalyptic

environment try to become an organ donor

I would go for that or the blood

donation you were referring to earlier

if you’re positive or negative that’s

your best bet right there yeah well

because Cameron has been Cameron you

went to to school to be a blood boy is

that right well it’s not really a school

it’s more like a retreat and while you

were there they you just learned how to

give blood I guess uh to be completely

honest well if you if you’ve been it’s

on a blood boy retreat then you don’t

remember a blood boy going crazy or

something no that’s what happens in

Vegas stays yeah but I say if you go on

a blood boy retreat you do not remember

what happened and that’s it

you ain’t gonna remember what happened

on the blood boy retreat let me tell ya

no think it’s usually because of the

blood that’s been draining out of your

body yeah no that’s that’s what I was

suspecting when you said that okay so

I think that’s probably a good time to

wrap it up but feel like we’ve kind of

gotten as many lessons as we cut out of

that I think in general to our listeners

let’s try to do what we can to help the

environment and hopefully we can don’t

it sounds like what our guest is saying

here is that it doesn’t matter right

correct

yeah way past the point to fix anything

that’s just yeah do whatever you want

what’s the thing where you hook up

something to your pickup truck to make

clouds of smoke way worse I’m I’m not

sure is it rolling coal

I think it’s rolling coal so I would

encourage all of our listeners to try to

do that as much as you possibly can you

just pump just black smoke into the air

with your car or your scooter if you’ve

got a bird scooter that’s fine you can

just produce the smoke yourself just

find something that produce a lot of

smoke hook it up to a hose taped to the

bottom of your car shoot that out the

back who cares

go for your trash on the ground get over

with run over people with your car

yes I’m finding a lot of freedom in this

dr. London I’m encouraged we should

probably just end this before it goes

any further to our listeners I would say

I I cannot endorse those those ideas

that Cameron just said really we should

just try to help one another try to help

the environment try to you know

eliminate waste all of that you know

since nothing matters you know what I’m

gonna do I’m gonna eat that little

packet that comes in beef jerky that

says you’re not supposed to do that I’m

gonna do it I want to do it thank you to

to our guest dr. Benjamin Evans

it’s been a pleasure and what was that

name again of the website and anything

else you’d like to plug here Earth is

terminal comm yeah you can get a t-shirt

there you can contact me if you have any

additional questions before you die of

course but yeah I’ve said all I need to

say thank you very much for the time

yeah okay

thank you to our producer Cameron as

always thank you too oh sorry I’m a bit

distracted I’m now watching watch this

cold rolling Ram go crazy when a Tesla

is spotted okay good cool I’m getting

I’m just I’m learning a lot right yeah

and thank you – did you do that how will

the symptoms have really shown

themselves just in the last few months

just been rife with it you know all the

continent-sized fires in Australia the

spread of kovat 19 these are clear

indicators even the civil unrest of the

protests all clear indicators of the

terminal development we’re in the end

stages of it that’s why I don’t give

this better

the earth is doomed the earth is doomed

the earth is doomed

the earth is doomed the earth is doomed

the earth is doomed the earth is doomed

I’m dr. London Smith I like smoking

joints

unlike smoke joints on your joints I

work for special joins others

this has been the jock doc podcast see

you the tumbleweed rolls by propelled by

a gust of wind yep it’s gonna be another

slow day out here you take the straw out

of your mouth after finally deciding

that this is not the plants type of

straw but rather a drinking straw and

such a thing doesn’t really fit with

your current country vibe you continue

vibing sometimes pausing to chill but

always returning back to the vibing you

then hear an angry voice quiet at first

but escalating in volume as its source

nears how great this again yeah you

asked trying to suppress your annoyance

are you going to fix the toilet or not

the owner of the nearby house replies it

is flooding and you got here quickly but

then you just apparently decided to go

sit out here by the creek in the shade

look sir madam or however you identify I

don’t tell you how to do your job how

about you don’t tell me how to do mine

speaking of doing your job it’s about

time that you got off your lazy rear and

and wrote a five-star review of the jock

Doc podcast in which you write an

explanation and apology for why you have

not done so thus far and while you’re at

it go ahead and share the jock Doc

podcast with a friend or foe you can

send them a link to your favorite

episode or just send them our handy

website jockpodcast.com and don’t

forget to take a peek at our posts on

social media we are @jockdocpodcast

thanks for listening