Welcome to the Jock Doc Podcast

featuring Dr. London Smith he’s got a

wealth of medical knowledge because he

studied health in his medical college

introducing your host Dr. London Smith

hello and welcome to the Jock Doc

Podcast where we discussed fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host Dr. LondonSmith.com
I’d like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we have

received some complaints about the

overuse of technical terminology I’ve

been using such as skeleton and pumpkin

spice latte so I’ll try to tone it down

a little as we go along here to help

with that is our producer Cameron zip

zop zort

Cameron is like a wind chime in the

breeze catching the subtle changes of

winds and pressures of the trends of the

world and then translating that into a

melody that harmonizes with the medical

topics discussed here so that every ear

is highly engaged in tuned in amen dr.

London also with us is DJ DYLAN IN DA HOUSE

[Music]

okay well and later in the show Cameron

tells me that we can also expect a guest

so look forward to that before we move

on I would like to address a bit of

listener feedback quote food is great

but the owner Ronnie is a scumbag who

sleeps around I went to the doctor

because I thought I had a yeast

infection but then doc says I got

trichomonas and I am pissed but I will

rise up and hold my head high and quote

well first of all thank you so much for

reaching out to us here at the jock dock

podcast we always appreciate hearing

back from our listeners the situation

you present it does sound difficult with

an apparent diagnosis with a sexually

transmitted infection and this Ronnie

character being a person of ill repute

well it sounds like there’s a further

story there so it is understandable that

you’re upset aren’t you gonna have this

guy’s back a little bit he’s a bro I

you’re just thrown him under the bus

that quickly you don’t even know the guy

that’s that’s true I so whenever I said

of ill-repute his reputation from what I

can gather from this quote that I have

is that it’s negative so okay so it’s

your job when someone has a negative rep

to just throw them under the bus that’s

what doctors do this is just part of the

your process is this what universal

health care is no where’s when there’s

just you try to get everyone on the same

level and it’s by throwing every single

person under a bus for our listeners to

clarify the concept of universal health

care is not holding a particular opinion

of a given person or group universally

that’s not that’s not what universal

health care is yeah it is okay so

universal health care is more the

concept of bringing health care to

everyone you know

no or minimal cost as a right that

that’s sort of what that’s about

whereas in this situation the right to

get more people into your offices so you

can throw them under the bus I see

exactly what what you’re going for here

dr. London honestly it’s kind of an

alpha move all right I kind of I’m kind

of digging it I’m changing my mind from

what I was saying

45 seconds ago it’s kind of baller huh

okay so so to answer their question it’s

understandable that they’re upset given

the situation but it sounds like they’ve

already sought professional medical care

and they have the right mindset to move

on so to this listener you know keep on

going conquer these challenges and we

wish you well now for a tale from the

clinic I went to see a spanish-speaking

patient so I required a translator I

asked the patient what brought them to

the clinic today and they told a long

story to the translator and this took

several minutes so finally when they had

finished speaking the translator said

well I woke up and went to the restroom

then I brushed my teeth Wow in the

restroom then I went to the coffee maker

and made some coffee

and sorry to bear in mind before this I

just asked what brought them to the

clinic today I said to go on went to the

coffee meter maker and made some coffee

the coffee made her coffee machine so is

this the kind of well thought out well

planned for expertise that I should

expect when I step into dr. London’s

office type you got a Keurig coffee

maker in the office this is why

universal healthcare is bad or good

because I don’t remember where I settled

on it moments ago okay so to continue

with that patients quote after after

that I went to the mailbox and checked

the mail in the mail I found a letter

that said I have an

appointment at the doctor’s office today

and so that is why I am here today

that’s the end of the quote so now we

ask we ask what are known as open-ended

questions for these patient encounters

so the patient has a chance to share

their most pressing concerns without us

narrowing down the parameters of what

they can speak about this can help

making sure that we listen to a given

patient in order to arrive at the best

diagnosis and treatment options well so

when I asked so that you have a kind of

more thorough and nuanced way to throw

them into the bus well no so the

open-ended question is so that they

could potentially guide us more so

that’s way more it’s the context

provided to to offer a more effective

way for you to kind of just screw them

over as much as you possibly can so with

your with your coffee Mader in your

office so so in this case the the

strategy of using an open-ended question

such as what brought you to the clinic

today or what kind of flavors do you

have in your coffee mater so sometimes I

can elicit a response like this which

tells us nothing of the patient’s actual

symptoms okay okay so anyway so that was

that patient base it was a normal thing

sort of that the ER but that can

sometimes happen where you ask an

open-ended question

anyway now for today’s topic

hypertrophic cardiomyopathy mmm the term

zesty well for these patients may be not

so much so the term hypertrophy refers

to an overgrowth and in this case we

were referring to an overgrowth of a

portion of the heart muscle hypertrophic

cardiomyopathy is a genetic heart

disease that is most commonly inherited

in an autosomal dominant fashion

the main problem in hypertrophic

cardiomyopathy is the diastolic

expansion of the heart due to a stiff

left lower chamber of the heart and this

can be so overly big and muscular

that it actually blocks the outflow of

blood from the heart to the rest of the

body so for that reason patients can

present with fainting or even sudden

death and because this is genetic the

sudden death can happen even in a young

patient

so basically parts of the the heart are

so big and muscular that it blocks the

blood that’s trying to get out whenever

it whenever the heart pumps the classic

presentation is so you’re are you you’re

saying maybe kind of working out the

heart area which we have discussed

before possibly two or three other times

you’re saying it’s now bad because I

left those conversations believing put

it kind of putting in the effort to

exercise your heart to make it big and

strong like the grinch as we’ve

discussed before right so was a positive

so in this instance it’s a genetic thing

their heart is already too big from when

they’re born

okay like an elephant I I don’t I don’t

think I felt like the size of an

elephant you have an elephant heart

maybe it’s it’s more a particular part

of the heart it’s too big okay and so

that part blocks off the the flow of

blood to the right I don’t think if

analysis you’re saying that these people

born with these gigantic hearts are born

with this capacity to love know

empathize with other people more than

it’s almost like being born with a

superpower well that’s so interesting so

I love science so the classic

presentation for how this medicine is so

cool how people can find out they have

this is a young athlete just suddenly

dies how young like in their teens like

they’re in high school playing football

okay and they just suddenly die and the

the sort of classic scenario in which

that can happen is from hypertrophic

cardiomyopathy you’re saying they loved

too much and that’s what did them in

well what I’m really saying is that that

I personally doctor one and I think

maybe this world could use some more

love instead of trying to tell people

that their capacity to love is too large

and they need to

shrink it or you’re gonna die on a

football field well not personally I

think that’s insane I guess I should

clarify that whenever I refer to the

heart I’m not referring to the emotional

heart I’m referring to the UM the whoa I

mean I’m not even I’m talking about the

physical blob in the upper right part of

your chest upper left is where so that’s

the liver is what you’re thinking of I’m

just telling you where love is dr.

London see you’re under the impression

that love is stored in the liver the top

right part of the heart or I guess upper

right chest would actually be that just

the lungs yeah okay that’s where love is

stored dr. London okay well and so to

clarify from my perspective at least the

extra exercise with compromised blood

flow from the heart is actually that’s a

recipe for disaster which is why

hypertrophic cardiomyopathy it it’s a

real medical issue that you basically

tell the patient’s don’t exercise which

is a rare thing to tell any patient

that’s literally exactly what I was just

saying don’t exercise because you’re

stretching your capacity of love beyond

what your body can handle okay and once

again it’s not love it’s muscle how did

you learn that from from the back of

your coffee Mader dr. London

[Applause]

Jim

all right Cameron did you say that we

had a guest today we absolutely do dr.

London okay

all right who do you have for us today

this is dr. London Smith calm on the

jock doc podcast welcome hi I’m uh I’m

Fancy Octopus and I am a fancy

octopus yes I am my name is a bit

descriptive like you know like how edge

is constantly living on the edge or he

is literally just an edge I am a fancy

octopus I escaped from the aquarium but

I’m you know okay whoa oh wow so ya can

speak I’m sorry I interrupted you well

I’m just saying I have a little bit of a

complaint with your clinic because I was

yeah yes yeah go on

so I was um I was writing I was just so

I needed to get to work the other day

what wasn’t not really work is more like

a sauce thing but so I was I was riding

the bus to work and it happened to pass

by your clinic and we hit a bump and I’m

pretty sure I saw somebody standing out

the window just throwing a body in front

of the bus and we went over that body

and it bumped and it spilled soup all

over me and it really ruined my day

Wow yeah so that’s what you mean

whenever you say it was more of a sauce

thing it was yeah I spilled sauce all

over me

that’s really what happens I couldn’t go

to work the issue linic was that you’d

the bus you were on ran over a body

well dr. London why are you why are you

responding in such a condescending way

yeah I mean obviously threw someone

under my bus and it impacted my commute

so you’re under the impression hock term

and you’re running the impression that I

was the one responsible for throwing

that body under your bus I mean it’s the

dr. London medical clinic

it’s the biggest clinic you know in the

area it even says dr. London .com on the

side and my bus goes by it every day and

sure enough a body was thrown under the

bus and I don’t know if it was your

assistant but I’m assuming you tell them

what to do so that that sounds highly

atypical for I don’t believe that that

was anyone at my clinic as far as I know

certainly not something that we would do

as a part of our clinical practice would

be throwing any so this is something

you’ve done in your free time this is

not something but yeah this is I mean

I’m not this isn’t like I’m not trying to like

bring the better business bureau here

I mean it was just a little bit of sauce

on my jacket but you know I would

definitely say you should take in mind

people’s commutes when you’re throwing

people under the bus okay and yeah I

guess that’s the other part so normally

we would be concerned with you know

someone being injured by a bus running

over them but so I guess your main

concern was just it’s the sauce got on

me is my foes it was a good sauce I mean

this was some expensive sauce and these

are the kind of risks you have to

consider before you just kind of

willy-nilly you know every single person

that you see every patient that comes

into your office every person you

interact with and talk to and have

relationship with constantly trying to

undermine them and kind of really just

kind of push them down to the point of

suicide which is a lot of what you focus

on I add from what I can tell listening

to this podcast that seems to be maybe

the mission statement of the podcast

okay

so I sort of tell the mission statement

at the beginning of each episode that we

discussed fitness and health well okay

and how do we okay sit or months assign

some medicine to our daily lives go on

so this is a fitness and health podcast

yeah yeah that’s the and I I don’t know

who or are you sure that someone was

actually thrown under the bus whenever

the bus ran over them

I mean it it may have been like a toss

maybe a throw it was underhand so maybe

it’s not a throw maybe you toss somebody

under the bus but there was a body from

the second window thrown and it

perfectly matched tore that before they

hit the ground the tires of the bus had

gone over them yeah you know kind of

duck alone and you know in Little League

in between t-ball and then playing

normally you kind of have coach pitch

and it’s sort of sometimes underhand but

the point of it is kind of like a

lighter touch to it it sounds like

that’s exactly what’s happening but in

this case with a corpse corpse being

thrown under the bus

yep did the bus stop after running over

this no it’s just kind of I mean like

you know you got to get you got to be on

time who who was driving this bus was

this a person I was driving I was

driving the bus oh you were dead it

wasn’t okay I mean it may not have been

a bus it may have been a van I stole and

it may have been a van I was actually

carrying tons of sawsan and it may have

been that I was actually just kind of

collecting people and dropping them off

at random places against their will

that’s a bus – it’s a bus right yeah the

bus so and I guess to clarify a few

points here

when you say sauce is that like soy

sauce or is that a particular type of

sauce I like to call it a boss sauce

because I like to say in the sauce

industry the sauce is boss as my hot

sauce is my boss it’s worth more than me

and gold and it was a mixture of

marinara and teriyaki soy sauce and it

it was like a special it was a special

blend for this new fusion restaurant

happening on the north end and it’s you

know it’s a nice like spaghetti with

chicken teriyaki going down it was

really good sauce it cost us all at $35

per tablespoon this was a very very

fancy establishment I mean I’m not

allowed to say but someone who yells at

people on TV for food is the CEO of the

restaurant I’m not going to say that but

you

he was he was he was livid when I spent

spilt that much sauce on me okay I’m I

guess they’re they’re kind of a lot of

questions I have at the moment which I

feel like unpacking the situation first

can we go back to you you said you were

an octopus yes well yes but I have a

disguise that makes people think that

I’m a person because I am crying I’m

currently trying to destroy the Western

world okay and Western world like

specifically meaning like like I mean

just to catch all of the western

hemisphere on fire okay okay would be it

would be that’s one way to do it this

kind of a back burner I’ve had my trials

and tribulations with that I’ve gotten

really into sauce as of recently it

really sounds like it yeah I’m a big

sauce fan you know I mean what’s so with

the you know I but I do have to pretend

to be human and I do I do want to say I

think the addition to a boss style sauce

to the sauce marketplace is a real smart

move I think one of the things we

focused on too much over the last decade

sauce wise our epic sauces epic ass

sauces you know arm sauces bomb sauces

you know like kick ass epic hot sauce oh

and it has like a picture of a donkey

but it’s you know we’re like it has like

a gun in a skull and it’s like this will

fucking kill you no yeah exhaust is your

boss it will berate you it will demean

you it will make you forget why you even

like your work and then it will fire you

and when you get fired and you taste of

the free the sweet sweet taste of

freedom from that boss sauce you have it

on a little sandwich and you remember

the sauce is pretty boss Wow and that’s

that’s the moment we’re trying to sell

[Applause]

[Music]

camryn do we have any sponsors today ooh

it’s complicated

[Music]

so ok I guess I’ll explain it so do we

have do it was did a company were an

organization I pay money it’s to the

show come to have their product or

service advertised on the show Kate it

it’s complicated

I’m working I’m working through a bit of

a legal issue ok well what’s the what’s

legal issue um do you remember cameron

scooters yeah very very very successful

and well plotted idea so you were to

refresh our listeners you had come up

with this idea where you stole these

scooters that have been electric

scooters from around town from other

people who are using them and then had a

few ideas for basically including

fireworks with it and selling the

combination of firework and sound and

scooter as a product for $7,500 yeah and

you said that was your big one it wasn’t

just holding fireworks the goal was to

go really really fast yeah I’m sorry you

want to go to those at 130 miles an hour

yeah 120 to 130 miles an hour was the

goal and you wanted specific sounds be

made by the fireworks yeah and if I

wanted the fireworks to go pouch and if

I if they couldn’t make those sounds I

would attach a Bluetooth speaker that

would play those sounds correct okay so

so that product right

yeah you so that somehow got you into

legal issues yeah well sorta I don’t

know if it’s you know like Law & Order I

don’t know if it’s the law side or the

order side so basically I killed three

people

son why I’m riding my scooter around

town ranked 120 miles an hour weaving in

between trees and stuff oh oh

cops are chasing me they’re going slow

down I’m saying never all the kind of

stuff anyway so I hit this guy okay run

to the back of the car and you you hit

the guy he hit the car I hit the car

that a guy was driving okay with three

other people in the car okay

unfortunately the scooter went through

the width the the back window okay

chopped off the heads three people in

the back seats is that did you install

like a saw or something on the scooter

or a blade that’s that doesn’t sound

that possible for a scooter to do unless

you were going just ridiculously fast

well I am going 120 miles an hour

I even that sounds so to cut off to

decapitate people you don’t think it had

anything to do with me whittling it down

right like the part you stand on I

whittled it down to kind of be in a

cooler shape in my yeah I guess it could

it just sounds very far-fetched okay I

guess regarde

you know dismissing the physics of that

chocolate of their heads okay with the

scooter guy who was driving was pissed

never seen someone so mad I’m like dude

calm down so so you killed two people

three three and then there was another

driver so there are four people total

okay there was a driver and there was

any other people in the car okay I said

minutes ago okay I’m sorry I’m trying to

get this straight so you killed the

three people they were all sitting in

the back okay I don’t know if it was an

uber situation I don’t know why okay

three people in the back guy driving

three people in the back head chopped

off okay scooter was too sharp and fast

and hot because of the fireworks okay

so you know combination pretty cool

pretty cool combination and was the

sounds maybe not the coolest combination

in every single situation I imagine for

the people whose heads were chopped off

it was not the coolest situation but

that is irrelevant right so the guy was

there in my rear view I don’t even think

about those people anymore they’re long

gone fake friends

you know it doesn’t sound like they were

friends of any kind that’s what I’m

saying fake friends anyway so the driver

guy he’s pissed I’m like dude calm down

it’s not even like that big of a deal

well like if these real people is a big

deal it’s just didn’t even I just didn’t

see like how people died trying to go to

the moon you know like in the

preparation to go to the moon yeah

you mean like they died of natural

causes no no no they died in tests and

stuff okay repair for the initial moon

landing and you think that you I think

every great human feet comes with some

risks and sometimes those risks our

bodies and see you great well in China

lots of people died building those the

pyramids tons of people died building

this sure world war 2 one of the

greatest things ever people died but

this wasn’t this is your finished

product yeah killing people going fast

making cool noises okay so the guy was

so you know

oh yeah guy was pissed my dude calm down

dude and he’s like no I’m gonna call the

cops and you’re gonna go to jail forever

like oh yeah I’m gonna go to jail for

being an inventor no for killing three

people was probably well yeah throw me

in jail because I decided to to be

innovative okay cool yeah lock me up sir

lock up Einstein you know if Einstein

killed three people then yeah he would

have also been imprisoned probably and

so anyway this guy’s like hey look man

I’m not I won’t call the cops if you

help me out he he made that big of a

tonal change whenever you had just

killed three of the people in the car

yeah what he had that little attachment

to them he was pissed and then he goes

hey man I’ll help you out okay if you

help me out okay it sound like you found

a very shady person

I was like okay cool and he’s a cool guy

we’re hanging out later so he he’s like

all right I got like a ton of horse-feed

they got to get rid of I’m like okay

well I don’t know much about horses but

I know a lot about feed right I know

what you do with it and know what

happens to it

whenever you say feed do you meat just

mean eating yeah

like you know a lot about hiding it and

then what happens later I know all about

it

so I’m like yeah I can probably help you

out okay so that is why I’m really

really really excited and happy to

present dr. London’s medical grade

equine feed okay why is my name on that

because I he wanted a level of

legitimacy that camera and scooter

creator did not offer cuz that was my

idea

initially I didn’t want to get you

involved at all thank you for that

Cameron’s scooter Creators equine horse

feed just didn’t flow I guess oh yeah so

I signed you oh so now I mean we have

like 3,500 of these bags of horse feed

that we got a we got a sell I and you’re

wanting me to to read this ad copy okay

if I I need I need to stress something

here you keep saying like oh you want me

to read this or whatever I don’t care

this guy does the guy who you killed

three of his friends yeah and he said

these aren’t gonna be the

only dead bodies if you don’t unload

this horse feed he threw it he

threatened your life he I don’t he said

I’m gonna add more bodies to the pile I

don’t know whose life he’s talking about

but I assume it’s yours now that your

name’s attached to it and okay have you

tried going to the police about any of

this dude he is the police are you sure

he’s not like the Mafia well he was

listening to the police okay well that

is different there’s a distinction to be

made there people can buy police

scanners and listen to those without

being policemen he was listening to the

police exam okay okay so the brown tank

so when you say that he greatest hits

album okay so you weren’t associated him

with a law officer turned to Louvre was

that is that the police I am Not sure I

was but what I am sure of is okay he’d

sounds like he was not it sounds like he

was not an officer of the law I don’t

know he’s listened at the police so

anyway you you need he read this ad I I

look I don’t want to get involved in the

Mafia it has nothing to do with them off

yeah it has to do with horse-feed

medical-grade horse-feed sponsored by

dr. london smith what makes it medical

grade you’re the doctor why are you I

think it’s so three people kit and I

don’t like maybe TJ Dylan can you just

maybe edit some of this out or something

yeah make it louder I okay

is your horse too slow

he needs dr. London’s medical grade

equine feed go from zero to speedy with

our 100% genuine horse approved feed

parcels for only $75 a basket okay and I

don’t we don’t have did you have horses

approve this yeah was that part of the

process read the ends okay if your horse

doesn’t win the Kentucky Derby after

eating my feed I will personally eat the

same amount

I guarantee it okay I won’t do that it’s

in the ad that was one of the things he

really really stressed but I have to eat

that someone’s eating this okay for more

info contact Cameron who will be at the

Downtown Carl’s jr. tomorrow through

Thursday through Thursday love you bye

and that was part of the ad too yep

yes that’s the part I objectivity the

least but alright i Cameron you should I

guess lay low for a while cuz murdering

three people isn’t a small thing it’ll

be easy to lay low my name’s not on the

product your says no I mean for the

murder not the feed that the horse feed

he said it was fine the guy said it was

fine he was listening to the police so

[Music]

okay well I guess thank you to our

sponsor which I guess isn’t me yep

alright

[Music]

okay and sorry and to clarify have you

you’ve always been able to speak

articulately as or at all I suppose as

an octopus or is that you would never

say that’s something you were making

coffee with a coffee mater for exam I

would only say making coffee with coffee

mater if I was in the movie Cars yeah

mater had come up and given me coffee

but that’s obviously that’s blessing

everyone does that but no all octopus

can speak oh wow I I’ve never I’ve never

heard of that is that that’s why would

we want to talk to you guys

well the reason I talk to people is to

further my plans okay and so today your

plans I guess have some interaction with

us is our what-what-what is our

involvement in this destruction of the

Western world because I’m on the fence

right now but I can be very easily

persuaded so my big thing was throwing

people under the bus is a great concept

for my plans keep doing it but just

don’t do it under my bus okay but I’m

here to encourage everything that’s

happening here all mm-hmm

I’m sorry well just to clarify I I don’t

believe that anyone that I am aware of

was responsible for throwing anyone

under that bus I’m not sure what

happened in the scenario are you sure

well dr. Linda I think he I believe he’s

suggesting that are very podcast itself

is assisting in his plan to destroy the

Western world I okay and I guess on that

note which I I would suggest that maybe

half of the podcast is maybe the half

that’s stuff here put this richer doc

doctoring elite

whereas maybe the half of the podcast

that maybe makes the world better is

kind of the more smart handsome cool guy

one

okay well and I appreciate that feedback

but okay I guess what you just that you

see our guests and I discussing

something as feedback I mean yes so

let’s let’s let’s pull back the curtain

we are all sitting here I’m surprised

you didn’t know I was an octopus since

we’re in the same room I get my disguise

is very good I guess that’s that’s I

should take it as a compliment yeah

let’s pull the curtain back yeah I mean

you have you look exactly like Jonah

Hill which is interesting because that’s

kind of who I thought I was kidding when

I when I kind of you know I do sometimes

mark myself as Jonah Hill because people

do want to talk to him he’s a very funny

guy he’s a wonderful person I’ve I have

spent some time with Jonah Hill and

that’s how I got it I got his agent I’ve

really just been like kind of low-key

bin Jonah Hill for the past few weeks

Wow

and I begin some great engagements but

yeah we’re in this CEO and you’re

engaged yet yeah okay well Congrats I

was okay and that was engaging that as

Jonah has you were engaged well as Jonah

Hill but more importantly it was kind of

spooky you know so I brought my fiancee

we were we met it was lovely time and

then you know we moved all our documents

together into my new apartment and we’re

moving there and you know we we had

trouble sleeping because there’s all

these like rackets and howling and all

crazy nonsense above the Kawas say stuff

like you know like oh you know the devil

is coming for you all this nonsense or

whatever right and then one day so we’re

not sleeping at all there’s something

going on in the house and then one day I

got up and her cat had spilled freakin

like Vegemite like some like kind of

like pulp Vegemite all over my 20:18 tax

documents I’m no longer able to keep

financial consistency of my tax returns

and I and I had the dumper for it no I

mean and it really it’s rattled me I am

horrified this is why I don’t Co

cohabitate with the nostril yeah and so

you know okay and then you know so the I

still hearing the noises but you know

I’ve gotten used to it but man I’m still

rattled by those tacks donkey

they really are just okay so so as at

going about as Jonah Hill for the past

few weeks has led to some engagement

which I get it sounds like it’s actually

over so I’m sorry to hear that yeah okay

but it was it was definitely a good it

was a good it was a good run while it

lasted

okay well I’m to go back to this van

because you kind of changed your story a

little bit with how it was a bus than

it’s a van and you were trying to and

then we establish that a bus is a van if

you are transporting dropping people off

against their will right because tell me

about these people

why were you dropping them off against

their will okay so I have an associate

he’s you know he has this company and

it’s it’s called non-consensual tours

it’s essentially like if you’re tourists

in the city but you like are on your day

where you don’t want to go walk around

and stuff we don’t allow that we find

you we kidnap you and we drive around

town and we give you a tour of the city

against your will

Wow well this no no it’s just people we

find out like you know like hotels and

stuff yeah this sounds great I’ve

there’s so many times I’ve been on

vacation or traveling to another city

and just trying to figure out what to do

on a free afternoon is overwhelming in

and of itself and some this is taking

yeah and you know you’re just sitting

there thinking like I don’t know I’m

feel a little bad and maybe I want to

stay in tonight

no we pull up we grab you in the guy you

know he gives up he’s knows a wonderful

walking tour of the town it’s it’s

beautiful we do have to like gag you

because you people like to scream but

some people get excited by that so when

win in my opinion okay I guess to me it

sounds a little unusual because what

Karen was suggesting was that you sign

up for like at least from what the way

you made it sound is you sign up for

something and then that’s not wise if

you’re bored nope okay does it not has

nothing to do with what I just said I

said when you’re visiting another town

or city that you’re not familiar with

right it can be overwhelming to spend a

lot of time trying to figure out what to

do what sites to see right and so you

just said had anything to do with what I

had just said yeah I think I think we’re

all on the same page here we’re all

saying that this is a completely

legitimate business that’s not illegal

and that we should keep kidnapping

tourists yeah I mean I I would even

maybe think about franchising this thing

I think we can I mean we could probably

get into like all of the East Coast and

possibly even the south I think there’s

a lot of markets that would that would

open up to this if you think about you

know Duck Tours remember Duck Tours were

really sort of a popular thing for a

while but then the one and that Detroit

or something I mean it’s sunk it’s sunk

and that’s I have some duck boats but

you know it turns out they’re dangerous

so we had to like rebrand them as vans

do you distilled so driving to the water

well so two questions of we’ve already

decided that a van with people in it is

a bus and yes we do drive into the water

but it’s usually to hide the evidence

okay I and what evidence do you mean

bodies I mean it depends sometimes the

non-consensual tour business I try and

keep this separate because it’s not

really my business it’s an associates

and I just help them out every once in a

while and I get to deliver sauce in the

van right but sometimes you know I need

to dispose in my machinations of you

know let’s say I wanted to see if I

could make the line at the airport

longer well I would need to destroy a

bunch of documents the airport and the

easiest way to do that is to drive it

into the water because no one’s gonna

find the documents there so you’re

really I mean it sounds like you’re

multitasking ultimately it’s very

efficient yeah well I it sounds like

okay for one thing we believe in a

patient autonomy where a patient

actually gets to make their own

decisions and so okay I mean you would

want to make the whole medical process

automatic not just get rid of everyone’s

jobs I see how it is okay I think

it’s ours that what you’re saying doctor

no I’m sorry to clarify patient autonomy

is whenever the patient love your

patients to be just robots automatic

robots ooh combination be just troll

take away our jobs

dr. LAN den my lungs hurt and then you

say oh I’m gonna push you under a bus or

whatever or don’t because again I don’t

remember where I settled on that at the

beginning I think I’m pretty sure I was

able to listen in because I was just in

the room here that you settled on when

cycling me oh you took notes I took a

lot and there’s way more notes in here

than I need I got like 50 pages man most

of its just drawings of cats but I

believe I do not have where you settled

on that I lied it’s but you took down

notes about let’s say hypertrophic

cardiomyopathy yeah that isn’t that the

Grinch disease yep okay now that’s young

athletes they can suddenly I have you

seen the Grinch I mean play any kind of

sport cuz that dude is not only is he

jacked but he I mean he can move he’s

Swift as well aye Swift you I I’m not

sure that I have seen him play at least

not an organized sport of course you

wouldn’t be familiar with things that

the common man are fine me you’re

obviously not into the Grinch cannon

because you got like you know yeah so

HCM you you you wrote down this is what

this is pretty sure I got you

word-for-word here on this one which is

okay

hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is when the

Grinch doesn’t exercise because he has

too much love and that leads to him

suddenly dying yep okay know that you’re

you’re mixing up what I believe I also

said that I love science and I love

medicine because it’s badass

right and that medicine is kind of maybe

we should focus more in like a

supervisor style medicine in what way do

you mean supervisor like supervised as

in okay we already know that you know

you as a doctor trying to get me

addicted to opioids yeah so what maybe

we should maybe instead of having it to

where like the the medicine is like

educating me it’s also supervising me so

it’s like hey I’m not gonna get you

addicted to opioids instead this pill

has a camera on it and it watches you

and if you try and take more pills and

you’re allowed it zaps you interesting.i

so one solution that we’re finding is

just to not prescribe so many opioids do

you think that this kind of pill could

have Wi-Fi technology so it could

connect to your Alexa and then she’d be

able to thank you too you want to

connect it at Twitter really because you

want the pill to let everyone know and

shame you that’s that’s a healthy

psychological thing to do to patients is

to is to berate them and only spook them

I would have to say actually that’s

that’s been found be positive

reinforcement is actually better

oh- giving them the pill that’s like

just like you would give everyone a

trophy you’re just the type of doctor

who gives every patient a trophy that’s

how you see them oh I’m just gonna just

give you positive reinforcement I’m not

gonna be real how might you speak your

mind I so one of the we try to encourage

patients because the more encouragement

you say you know maybe you have these

problems but you can improve in these

ways you know that’s sort of the way

that we see you say you’re at a certain

spot now but we can do better

giving every patient a trophy has to

just good old-fashioned you know

everyone special yeah but he sees

everyone as special and also wants them

to be a robot that he throws under the

bus this is the kind of and nuanced and

complicated views that dr. London has

towards the common man that’s what he

calls people like this I actually I do

have a question about the Grinch disease

what essential oil should I use to

combat this ooh okay most to my

knowledge essential oils aren’t really

our first line or even second line drugs

except for they’re called essential

they’re essential oils I mean are you

okay I mean okay I’m just gonna give you

my my essential oil breakdown of the day

so first I get out of my human costume

and I will all around and you might

octopus squishy things it’s it’s a fun

great okay then I fill a tub completely

full of garlic and sage oil and my

entire apartment reeks of garlic the

demons up in the second floor they hate

it they they don’t like garlic I mean I

kind of wish they liked it more cuz they

come hang out but they’re just busy

screaming cuz they smell it garlic’s so

strong they nice submerge myself

completely and I can barely breathe in

there because the oxygen content of

garlic oil is very low right and so I

nearly pass out to the garlic fumes

until I like but I have a little timer

and then when I pass out my tentacle

hits the timer and it turns on the cold

water and it wakes me up and it’s like

it’s like being born now is that

something that can help solve my my

eight my Grunch disease that I have yeah

absolutely to clarify on this so the

where you’re referring to is the Grinch

disease hypertrophic cardiomyopathy it’s

it’s a genetic disease that you’re

either born with or not and I’m are

saying my genes are good enough to have

hyper high of the Grinch disease I’m

saying that most likely your genes are I

thought you were in the benefit of

reinforcements

it’s um positive to you doctor it’s I

mean I I’m feeling personally attacked

Wow

so you’re saying that I’m not gonna feel

insecure about his own body so it’s

actually it’s not a good disease to have

it is a disease so not having it like so

you’re saying he’s not allowed to have

it because you’ve decided that it’s bad

no this is the kind of Manny state

nonsense that I’m crazy about I mean

he’ll just join me and I’m currently on

on on track to burn down the entire

Western Hemisphere

I mean I haven’t tried you thrown a few

matches at the forest hasn’t gone too

well okay I mean if they’re if you know

if you’re saying that my garlic oil

isn’t helping my octopus heart then I

don’t know if I can trust the medical

establishment right which is good you

definitely should not be trusting the

medical establishment especially not

doctor London if you wanted to swing by

my pharmacy which we have talked about

in previous episodes I stock up on some

great stuff that I kind of find around

the house and you know from like friends

of friends and whatever do you have like

you have like a good alternative to like

let’s say the measles back

cuz I mean I’m worried about getting an

MMR okay well I’ve got some I’ve got

some red stuff measles are red h-hour

measles red dr. London me the measles

that the virus isn’t so I think these

are red I got some red is blue because

I’m an octopus with the red measles turn

into purple measles yeah what gosh so

what we can do I’ve got some red stuff

it’s like a good sweet stuff I think

I’ve also got some blue even goofier

stuff I mean I think again I think if

you maybe did two to one ratio of the

red goopy stuff to the blue case it down

keep your color pretty solid write this

down okay okay good I’ll come by later

today what what what arm do you write

with are you which handed are you I

normally were with my fifth

counterclockwise but they’re all pretty

good I’m pretty ambidextrous

ambidextrous okay I do want to ask for a

quick what what are your plans going

forward and and why do you want to burn

down the western sea Western Hemisphere

was that they cancelled VeggieTales

after only two episodes Wow even though

VeggieTales was a straight to VHS series

they canceled I’ve only been able to

find two VHS right someone did tell me

recently that there are other seasons of

VeggieTales and I’m not sure about that

I have I have a growing list of concerns

like first off I was in fact stolen from

my home in near Florida and put into

Miami aquarium that put a thorn in me

but then you know I also I went to

Burger King HQ in New York City when

they cancelled the chicken fingers or

the chicken fries and I was like hey

dude like I don’t I mainly eat these

chicken fries can I talk to the CEO and

they just they just threw me out of the

building I mean I get I was holding a

knife but you know I’m allowed to do

that as an American and so the building

that also that was the one that we got

me really mad

now you went straight to California to

try and burn down you know try and start

a huge riot in Alcatraz oh wow

when you went to that Burger King were

you in your human you’re Jonah Hill

persona or were you going as an octopus

because either of those could get a

reaction I did go as an octopus for that

one and New York’s really easy to get

around because I just go in the sewers

or the subway people really don’t do

anything lately Seahawks was on the

subway they’re like whatever right and

who who was this associate you were

talking about before it seems like a lot

of this was centered around kind of the

whims of this associate reason you were

driving the sauce why I have one of my

main associates is this man named proper

gin I don’t know if he knows I’m an

octopus yet I think he does I’m not sure

but we you know we do some projects

together and and so he but he’s a very

proper gentleman from from the UK I

believe when you say that he doesn’t

know yet is is this sort of a difficult

thing for you to reveal your identity as

being an octopus to people I mean he’s a

pretty cool guy but I mean some people

are really against octopuses because I

mean I remember I went to Vegas and they

eat octopus there Wow I know that it

depends man mm-hmm right well in animal

I mean I had some I didn’t realize is

octopus but pretty good yeah I only ask

because you know different people

identify in different ways and so I

understand how it could be difficult for

you to sort of I go public with your

identity how you identify whether that

be human or octopus well I mean it’s not

that identify as octopuses I am an

octopus right right no i night identify

as male a straight male and that’s not

an octopus are you saying that dr.

london great male I’m an octopus dude I

mean I am across the I see you hat I see

you you look like an acht I’m just

saying

you know we in this day and age we have

to it’s not only what we sort of

physically are but it’s also how we

identified and know if you identified oh

I see what you’re saying says I have to

yes you I mean and I do sorry to

interrupt sidenote a little bit it is

insane insanely impressive that your

costume to look like Jonah Hill is just

a hat it’s so crazy how I thought you

were Jonah Hill and that’s why I invited

you into this record in general and it’s

a really good hat it’s just I mean it’s

just a trucker hat it’s just a normal

trucker hat just like a normal trucker

but you look like Jonah Hill when it’s

on because Jonah Hill does I have never

seen a wear a trucker I don’t understand

it because you of Skeeter from that one

movie Doug no I’m thinking of the

strange wilderness where where Jonah

Hill plays a stoner of cameraman while

they go and hunt down Bigfoot and so I

think a lot of people remember that

movie and so they see the trucker hat

they’re like oh that’s Jonah Hill

2000-2006 right and I guess since even

for those of us who haven’t seen that

movie there is that sort of an

underlying character development that

he’s put on through the year it’s more

of a larger aura yeah – it than it is

even a physical appearance well I mean

you know I can I can do a pretty good

Jonah Hill accent all I’ve heard can

like I can lean into it a little bit

here okay sometimes I like to just gain

weight for some lose weight for all the

roles oh I was in that movie Oh super

bad where I got laid

[Music]

right in the room and without the Hat

can we take the hat off okay and I’ll

try it without the Hat okay there it is

so anyway it’s it’s been great to have

you on Jonah

sorry I’ll take the hat off let’s take

the hat off just okay fancy yeah okay

good yeah sorry it really does sort of

yeah it’s crazy right it’s kind of

insane yeah but um well in any case

we’ve been thankful I I guess Jonah Hill

wouldn’t necessarily have been a like I

guess that would have contributed to the

the medical side of things but having a

big guest in general would have been

something I suppose yeah all right well

anyway – thank you so much

fancy octopus for coming on and for

Jonah Hill I mean if you’re looking for

like a big guest

I do have an internet following kind of

like listens to my words the internet

follows you or well there’s the I follow

a lot of people on the Internet okay

it’s not like a stalker situation no no

I’m not stalking nobody as of yet okay

but I do have you know things that are

published out and so there are people

who have heard the name they exist okay

can you uh can you let us know if you

think so where to find you and yeah on

the Internet yeah I actually you can

find me on my podcast I I know it’s not

great for my secret I didn’t either

publish my podcast but I do it anyway

because I you know I got a music podcast

first impressions music where we you

know talk music and stuff we listen to

new music you want to find new music is

good way to go and then also buried gems

which is like a literature podcast where

we read Internet literature and try and

find the next Harry Potter which that’s

the one proper Jane that’s the big big

destroy the West type thing that were

we’re thinking that we’re gonna do

great work over there Wow right because

if you can get their rights to that

before it takes off then we’ll have all

the money we need right okay

oh that’s so it’s purely a funding

initiative for okay also we figured if

we create if we find the next Harry

Potter and we advertise it successfully

it will create a civil war right okay I

I you know how that can be good you know

how like Twilight had Team Edward and

Team Jacob yes everybody was about to

kill each other over it now imagine if

we had Twilight and Harry Potter

multiplied them by each other and then

add in some Fifty Shades of Grey I do

I’m this is sorry I don’t mean to stop

everything in its tracks but my father

was I mean he was Team Jacob and you

know I was Team Edward and so we haven’t

well we haven’t brought up in a long

time

Lucas feels divided nation is now but

just why would I pick a werewolf why

would you pick a werewolf over the

vampire like I I just don’t get but I

told you I’m on your side sorry I

shouldn’t say that we aren’t a political

we aren’t trying to be political in this

podcast but so you see if I even capture

I can capture what just happened here

and magnify it with an even better book

I could show the world I honestly I

don’t

I can’t wish you well on that journey

because that I thought I definitely can

and I can say that it’s the official

endorsement of the jock talk podcast

it’s a fun time if you even if you don’t

want to destroy the world it’s just a

fun time to kind of sounds like it and

the bus tour thing sounds super fun the

bus tour thing is great we don’t

advertise for that because we just take

people it would ruin the surprise of it

exactly so if you ever find yourself in

one of our non-consensual towards thank

you so much you’re we love our patrons

and but you know you will get home

safely Oh chance yeah okay I was gonna

say that didn’t think what I understood

no it was not the case he did establish

they are former duck boats and as we

know things happen once they hit the

water blah blah blah so it’s hard to

tell and sometimes it’s hard to see for

me it’s like kind of a non non-issue if

it floats or not so I’m not really too

worried for you it’s a non-issue because

you’re not on the boat what no I just I

swim because you are an octopus yeah

yeah okay well thank you for being on

the podcast my name is dr. Lennon

smith.com and you’re of course fancy

octopus thank you for being here on the

jock dock podcast thanks for having me

[Music]

[Music]

well that was our last episode or a

third honestly it’s hard to keep track

ever since the fiasco of Cameron losing

his favorite horseshoe so Cameron does

not believe in horses so when he found a

horseshoe

he didn’t understand it nor what to do

with it

but he did drop it on the ground once

and when it clattered he thought it said

something so he’s been trying to hey

you’ve been trying to get it to talk I

mean I think it did anything it did what

it did I don’t think you’re in front of

me right now I know you are yeah so in

this case though that whenever it

clatter you’ve been going on about how

it talked to you and I didn’t think it

did anything it did something and then I

reported it okay so so as I said he

recently lost that horseshoe so he now

thinks that maybe he didn’t listen hard

enough or that there was a secret that

he was trying to tell before it escaped

yep yeah so so I like I didn’t know I’m

is that’s that’s still where it stands

yeah I mean I don’t have a horseshoe on

me do i okay no so so to our listeners

if you have seen Cameron’s horseshoe

somewhere please tell us about it in a

five-star review on your favorite

podcast app and also please text friends

and family with a link to your favorite

episode or just use our handy website

jock podcast calm please please please

help me find my horseshoe please through

a five star review

and you could also send a picture of the

horseshoe or okay so Cameron has a lot

of pictures of this horseshoe yeah and

he’ll insist that you need to send that

one yeah

and that it responds to the name Xena

yep so I guess you could and I think any

horseshoe would work for that no anyway

thank you for listening to the jock doc

podcast ah I found it i grafted it to

the bottom of my foot

[Music]

[Applause]