hi kids you’re about to listen to a comedy podcast that means that none of this is medical advice if you need medical advice andmedical care please contact your doctor brought to you by koala cola it tastes just like down under i’mcrampy koala take it away dj dylan welcome to the jock doc podcast featuring dr london smiththe top-rated podcast amongst listeners aged 85 plus grab your hearing aids and let’sget this thing started introducing your host dr london smithhello and welcome to the jock doc podcast where we discuss fitness and health and how to incorporate our modernunderstanding of science and medicine into our daily lives but without it being so boring i’m your host drlondonsmith.com i’d like to begin by apologizing to our listeners we’ve received some feedback about theexcessive amount of technical medical terms that i’ve been using such as elevated 17 hydroxy progesterone levelsand till the cows come home so i’ll try to temper my terminology to a simpler one in the futurehere to help with that is our producer cameron uh dr london can you i mean you didn’t throw out orwait you don’t have any of my notes do you no was i supposed to sowell i mean i would hope that you would prepare for the podcast so usually i’m the one bringing in sortof a medical lesson and uh like i’m i’m usually bringingsort of the i want to say the data the the prepared material for thisand i know for a fact that i left a note on the napkin you were using while you were eating lunch like i knowi left a note on there okay um yeah okay so i thought that that was like aokay so i let me let me think of what it said okay i think i’m wipe my mouth on it iswhat happened so i don’t i don’t know so it all got smeared and so when youread it it you thought it was maybe sort of like a secret code or something which sort of kick-started a funadventure well i think that i just put in listener feedback that’s usually where i put thatsort of oh okay yeah i guess that makes sense well dr london we had a pretty bigdemographic change in our audience that i thought maybe oh i don’t know maybe you would be trying to appeal moreup top yeah okay i mean you know we we’ve discussed in the pastuh for a long time a big part of our audience was cool kids yes you know what i mean like ouraudience was young it started off mostly like college kids slackers likethe kids you want to be your podcast fans then it became sort of younger and younger until it was mostly likefive and six-year-olds who had accidentally turned the podcast onthat those kids all of those kids became influencers and have deemed us uncooloh no okay because they were influencers thought it was cool thus old people started listening to itwhich made us uncool and now our entire entire audience isyou know it’s a range of dr london it’s never just like everyone’s one age but you know it’s a range of people from the85 plus category well you told me in the past that it would all be one age umthat and that is a goal we tried to do that to simplify our marketing because everyone’s trying to like oh howcan we hit these four quadrants whereas we were like okay what if we stop focusing on these various differentage groups and focus more on you know 32 year oldsyeah we could maybe even get more specific 32 year olds named brian yeah okay and i know we did that we hadour brian’s season um yeah and that was that did i don’t know that uh quantifiably idon’t know that it worked but um any case it worked at first until they had their own sort of spin-off podcast and theyunderstood each other a lot better than we did because none of us are named that and that sort of becametheir own little i mean it’s a cult yeah we can just call it a call yeah and i should say um you know we don’tespecially now that we were with yeah our great sponsors koala cola we’re in the qualacola network um we don’tuh we don’t encourage cults directly that’s that’s something that we want to distance ourselves from yeah uhwe we’re really we’re not anti-cult either but we we don’t endorse cultsat this point yeah and even if if we were to it’s not like we would ever endorsecolts as a blanket concept we would maybe endorse hyper-specific ones yes umin any case so uh this is all to say dr london our demographics have changed so we need to change some of the aspects ofour okay okay so what so i mean like well i mean like for an example you knowup top you were saying uh you know this is a medical podcast you you were sort of you know bringing the funbecause you know it used to be sort of like a fun podcast aimed at a young crowd but now it needs to be a lot more seriousit needs to be a lot more restrained okay um maybe you could throw in somemedicine reminders in there reminders of medicine what do you meanjust like it’s time to take your medicine oh okay okay because this is an older demographic that we’re appealing to yes eighty-fiveright now yeah these are the ones that um they’ve okay they’ve been vaccinated for a whileuh they uh have risk of falls they could umheavy heavy like a lot of them will have already had strokes okay okay yeah um yeahokay i could try to i can try to do that um so that was our producer cameron who’s obviously he’s on the ball withthis stuff um speak up you wanna you wanna speak up right right i don’t wanna okayis it is this better is this good i think that’s exactly it dr londonyou wanna turn your hearing aid up well yeah okay so if you’reif you are hearing us at a normal level right now turn your hearing aid up and then thatway it will be at a normal volume okay i think we’re okay okay so ifeveryone did what they’re supposed to do we should be good right now okay just talking at a normal volume nowso i think we’re good ask your granddaughter to help you no now you’re screaming in their earsbecause they just i don’t think they’re i don’t think they did it but you don’t think they did it okay yeah go ahead and ask yourgrandkids just go ahead and call them first and foremost there’s a good chanceyou’re not gonna be able to figure this out on your own so just kind of have them on hold and then you’re gonna go ahead and justuh get them to help you crank that bad boy up and then you’ll then you then you can listen to the showproperly and dj dylan can you make sure that the sounds are a little more old old person friendlytoday yes speaking of which also with us is digital in the houseand now our entire audience is people from the 85 plus category[Music]people from the 85 plus categoryand later cameron tells me we can expect a special guest so look forward to that that’s right dr london all rightremember this um so today is monday so take your monday pills okaybefore we move on i would like to address a bit of listener feedback i received this note from the gutter clutter cutter upper divisionof the koala coil corporation where they work on devices to help clean out those gunkygutters it’s great work and anyway this note comes from a worker who after bringing charges for hisinjuries allegedly acquired by getting caught in the gutter clutter cutter upper prototypehe was persuaded to drop all the charges and be satisfied with just getting this message to us his favorite podcast so the message isquote please just let my family know that i love them end quotefirst of all i’d like to thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the jock talk podcast yeah um that’s powerful yeahto sort of give us that level of responsibility dr london i mean that’s well heavy honestly i mean i would sayyou know to answer their request maybe you know although it can sometimes be hard to say i love youto someone even family well as i’m talking about it it’s the hardest three words to say drlondon yeah i get nervous i haven’t you notice i haven’t even repeated the words yet because i get nervous even talking aboutit yeah i just so so what i’m thinking with this you knowthis listener who obviously loves our podcast um as famous as we are i think thislistener should be the one saying it to their family not us you knowlike i mean but i mean they obviously suffer with the same anxiety that i was just talking about drlondon right um so now i mean what is this is that what we do on this podcast ispunish our listeners well i think because keep in mind most of our listenersif you were to punish them in any way that would be beyond maybe like a light tap they will crumpleto the ground their bones dr london are mostly dust that’s right umuh you’re maybe just uh okay i love youis or your granddaughter loves you is that maybe that’s what they’re wantingokay um i mean you i mean you could probably throw in your own name in there too yeah what youdon’t i’m not i mean i’m i don’t know if i’m readyto say it for me see and this is what i’m talking about doctor i don’t know that i’m glad you finallyhave the empathy to realize that you’re not the only one who gets nervous about saying those three special wordsyeah okay so um anyway to this listener thank you for listeningand uh hope you have a great time working for the koala cola corporation now fortoday’s medical topic hepatitis c hepatitis c is a viral cause of infection and inflammation of theliver it is transferred via sex blood perinatal or parenteral meansand is particularly prevalent in iv drug users but it rarely produces so our a lot ofour listeners have fallen asleep just immediately so if i’m looking at this data propertyokay so just what you want to do is you want to throw in something about maybe like uhdonna’s baby like oh have you seen donna’s new grandchild um he’s so cute but you know don’t tellher but he he he’s not as cute as my little steven or whatever yeah okay so um youknow just something like that or maybe like how it’s okay to like like give a dog an entire mealokay so uh or you could talk about yeah like maybe like how like jc penney’s is so coldthat one okay and that is a complaint that i i also have so that’s that’s pretty good so you could just sort of pepper these thingsin dr london that’d be really really helpful i think it would wake our audience up so let’s let’s jolt them back to life realquick so hepatitis c rarely presents with an acute infection um and you know gertrudei know that it’s nice to uh it’s great to have a physical copy of everything you don’t digital stuff is stupid youdon’t have to do it and it’s actually bad to do to have digital versions of things it doesn’t work half the timeyeah same thing doesn’t work so you could so you can think of it ashepatitis c with c standing for chronic because it doesn’t present as an acute infectionand uh it’s found more as a silent infection on blood tests when or when patients present with cirrhosisof the liver this is why all adults should be tested for hepatitis c regardless of risk factors in order to beable to intervene earlier uh professor stevenson i assume that’s gotta be the name of oneof these guys uh you the that that dog won’t stop yappingyep that neighbor’s dark it won’t stop me yeah maybe maybe like reinforce his idea that thenurses really did steal some of his stuff yeah and that thatnurse joanie really she makes off with all kinds of things that that belong to youand i saw her wearing the other day a really really fancy men’s ringand i’ve got i was just thinking i i don’t know if she can really afford that i’m just sayingso in patients with chronic uh hcv the risk of developing cirrhosis or hepatocellular carcinoma is 10to 25 so it’s important to catch and treat it early uh when you run into general diagnostictests it can show increased direct bilirubin increase ratio of alt to ast on liver function tests and increasealkaline phosphatase the best initial tests for hepatitis c are hepatitis c igm antibody for the acute infection andhepatitis c igg antibody to detect a resolution of infection um and then go ahead and try to appealto the captain if you can yeah okay so the captain yeah uh first of all thank you for yourservice um what you you did great in the war and uhyou know a lot of people don’t recognize that enough and no one recognizes it enough we all knowit well and also maybe like how like boat ownership is maybe the true sign of a manand actually owning a boat and is actually harder than raising kids there’s nothing greater than a man whomeasures his worth in nautical miles ooh that is so true dr london so the pcr isused to measure and detect the viral load of hepatitis c rna which tells the amount of active viral replication pcr is the first thing toimprove with treatment and is the best correlation of treatment failure so pcr viral load is not the right testfor initial diagnosis of these infections but it is the most accurate way to assess the degree of infectivityof the patient in other words it assesses the risk that that patient poses to in transmitting the infectionto their baby to a sex worker to or via needle stickand that that’s like the the risk that i have to assess dr london when i’m at the grocery store and i got to choosebetween the normal grocery line or the self checkout because i if i go to the selfcheckout i’m going to need to call someone over to help me scan every single item dr london because noneof the thing doesn’t make any sense and you’re couponing so is it real am i even really checking myself out at thatpoint if the person has to help me check out every single item one at a time i’d say it doesn’t matter becausethey’re getting paid to do it that’s their job oh yeah they’re gettingnone of us have anywhere to go either yeah so that’s also true yeah and uh and once again you gotyou have your coupons to scan and uh if they don’t help you with that if they don’t go out of their way to help you with that then that’sthem being a bad worker and they should be paid less oh no for sure you every time you’releaving the grocery store you should be calling the store to try to get someone fired i would sayas you’re walking out and if you haven’t chosen someone on your way out you can just sort of like pick one andyou can say i know that guy was shoplifting in the few cases in which acute hepatitis c is detected it should betreated as this will decrease the likelihood of developing a chronic hepatitis c infection uh it should be noted that acutehepatitis c is the only acute hepatitis that is actually treated chronic hepatitis c is treated if thepcr rna viral load is elevated but the goal of treatment is to reduce it to undetectable levels all treatment forhepatitis c is oral uh and for all of you taking exams out there uh if you seevelpatosphere on the exam it treats all genotypes of hepatitis c so probablypick that cure rates exceed 95 to 99 something to remember is that we do nottest based only on risk factors such as injection drug use but we do test all adults for hepatitis canyone with detectable pcr rna viral load needs treatmentand uh yeah sorry there’s uh and also the um they don’t theumbrellas they break so easy yeah now and you know what i mean yeah andthey get broken by the very thing that they’re designed to prevent you know like storms they’re they’re i honestly yeahshould i even be complaining to the umbrella corporations or is it really just everything becausenothing is made to last these days yeah not like in the good old days youknow oh no nothing like that yeah everything was made better before now before now yeahin the past in the better times yeah yeah absolutely my dad used to sayeverything made now is really good quality and that was a long time agoi remember when my grandpa was saying everything is perfect right now yeah everything right now is going sowell if anything changes remember how perfect it is right now all right well uh yeah i think i thinkwe’re gonna move on from there [Music]all right uh cameron you said that we have a guest today is that right that’s right dr london okay uh well hello theremy name is dr londonsmith.com and the sub producer cameron what was your name hello gentlemengentlemen you may recognize me i am a doctor bhfoster yes the world’s first and only chimpanzee doctoryeah i’m i’m a cameron how did you get this like you told me that you’ve just beendigging through dumpsters and that’s how you’ve met the guests lately yeah i mean most of our guestsare fellow uh recyclers and i mean you know i’mi’m gonna be completely honest i didn’t even really realize that our guest was a doctor i just knew him more for i followa lot of monkey influencers oh please i’m a great apeenough about me i’m an okay ape at best you know i’vebeen to the moon uh i have performed uh surgery on conjoined conjoined twins saved theirlives right yes no no i’m i’m an okay best i’m just trying to contribute to our societywell that’s you know i’d say come worry to compare you to other uhuh what what’s the term i don’t want to be you know offense i guess primates can i say that that’s correctyes we’re all primates yeah yeah uh compared to others ofof of your kind you know it’s is that okay oh i okay um you seem exceptionalthank you oh and you too as well that’s why i’ve decided to invest all of my money into this podcast[Applause] that is a much different angle than ourguests usually have that’s great most of our guests are sort of wanting the oppositeand sort of asking for a way to have money funneled out of this podcast sothis is great because of how much funneling has been going on we actually really need some sort of a we need a stream goingthe other direction i should say we need outward funnels yeah or inward funnels rather well i assure you thisfunnel is most inward i i noticed that you changed your demographics to anolder audience a more sophisticated audience and as soon as i heard that i had to come down cameron i knows i was diggingthrough the dumpster at the time but i lost some very important papers and there’s actually a blank checkfor one million dollars and i’m going to present it to you whoa right now here live on the airwhere it was blank yes i just needed to sign my name oh the part that’s blank on this checkis just the signature correct gotcha would would you can you just go ahead and sign that then becauseotherwise it’s not oh you can’t do anything with it absolutely yes you have a penperhaps a uh pencil oh no i’m afraid no i’m fully digital i don’t know if i havelet me see if i have anything that you can use boys huddle with me real quick huddle with me listenif you’re going to appeal to the older audience you need to have pens andparchment paper on that at all times now let’s let’s let’s rewind it let’s go bring it back[Music] uh so so let’s take out our ink wellsokay oh yes you have heremy feather pen here and uh just yeah if you could just right thereokay good and all this money is going to very good use yeahthis is an institution i tell you i mean is is there any catch like are weis there anything we have to do to make sure i mean no strings or whatwhat you sound so happy with it already without it like the check hasn’t cleared so maybe you’re just happy about it yeahregardless but it i don’t know i’m almost nothing we’ve done costsmoney me making a joke apparently and making you laugh that i mean that didn’t cost anything andyou’re saying this is money well spent already i would save money very well spencer listen all you need to do is make surethat this money doesn’t fall into the hands of an evil corporation that’s all i ask yeah oh speaking of uhunrelated um but uh so the koala cola corporation doeshave something that we need to um i don’t want to say oh it’s just this great corporationthey’re they’re we are part of the qualicolo podcast network um they’re great people of course you know koalacola it’s the australian soda the number one soda it’s just light down it tastes just likedown under we’re part of the koala cola network the the the number one podcasting network for aspecific australian soda company brand i fear i’ve been totally mistaken yeah no sowhat i mean what would you be mistaken about you said don’t give it to an evil corporation koala cola is a very generoushelpful corporation that creates world value am i right dr london yeah ohit’s it’s a fantastic corporation i don’t know if you heard in the listener feedback but yes you know one of their workers actuallyis letting us know specifically that they love their family so well and if you think ofthe environment i do so for if you if the if the co if you if you takeall the cola right and if you if so all the cola that the company hasbeen creating if you sort of if if that if if everyoneif if people if people if they do use yes if they choose to drink the colainstead of the natural resources oil companies right right they’re drillingsome yes and so if you focus more on the cola you can see the sort of like larger benefits of umuh you know keeping uh sort of reversing global warming i need to go ahead and just step in real quick so we don’t mean this as a broadyou know defamation against the oil uh drilling you know sub portion of thequalacola corporation like they obviously have their offshore oiling oil drilling things andthat’s that’s great uh we support it i’m just saying but yes there are the evil ones that that dothis yes the ones that don’t do it offshore you know we do that they do it offshore like away fromeveryone you know they’re polite about it whereas these evil corporationsyou know shell etc of course yeah like we’re not i mean you know no hmm all right i seelisten walt whitman said to be a curious and not so judgmental and i take that man’s wordas my own and i am going to uh explore this koala caller corporationpartnership that you two have i trust your judgment you have shown me nothing but generosityhospitality and good medical advice ever since i started listening to this [ __ ] okay okay i was wondering where you werepulling that from so you’re just a long time listener okay oh yes long time listener first time fanokay so not a long time fan but you’re okay but so you’re finally a fan that’s great wewon you over in everything that i do i do 100 and invest all of my money inwhen i went to the moon i gave nass all of my money when they put a child’s brain into mysmall monkey body that child’s parents trusted all their money to that surgery to save their child and now i’ma genius and i have multiple degrees from all of the different colleges from all across the land and ibelieve this is the next great venture that the human race needs and all primates everywhere so you have likea human brain you’re not you’re you’re you don’t have the brain of a of a of an a oh that’s correct yes wheni was a small boy i was dying so they took my brain and put it inside of a chimpanzeeturns out i was also a genius they called me the brainiac bonobo which i thought was very racistokay so that’s the racist one oh yes monkey and bonobo is a bitter it’s not correct i’ma chimpanzee that’s that’s what i was worried about like i i know thati i don’t know enough of you know the different types of uhprimates out there so for me i’m trying to be knowledgeable and you’re flailing heredr london you’re sweating yes sit down take a handkerchiefyeah actually i just need to take a drink of this delicious uh the new banana flavored koala colayeah you can do do you do you want somethingjust toss something keep that away from me keep that away from me will you see mei’m a gentleman i’m a distinguished gentleman yeah i’ve been to harvard jail cambridgeyeah well and also you don’t have the brain of a monkey of the brain of a human yesso you’re really i’m sorry i’ve tried i’ve seen some tornoff my tuxedo that i was wearing yeah i i guess no this is it’sif you were like a human i’d be a little bit more uncomfortable but this is actually kindof okay well it’s it’s sort of an interesting position to be in dr london because heis a monkey so it’s like not that big of a deal that he ripped off a great date he is a chimpanzee so it’snot really you’re coming out he’s very racist cameron it’s not really a big deal if he yeahlike tore his clothes a little bit and wants the banana flavorhere you go here you go you can just you can have as many as you want we have a whole crate of them just go ahead and take so it sounds likeum the the b word is a trigger for him so maybe we can definitely avoid thatbut the issue that i have is that he he said that he has the brains of a human child so this isreally just a kid who’s going what rather than uh what is it like asuper intelligent i thought he said baser instincts are taking over from my monkey body oh no even i’veoh more bass in my ways so your body is now influencing yourhuman brain that’s interesting well i’ve also sh myself you justyou’re kind of holding it like a i don’t know like a stress ball or something yeah i’mso scared yeah i’m i’m a little scared too umdo you want to uh cameron can we side things you might be scared of different things though yeah dr london what’s uh what’s up uh ohyou don’t you don’t realize what’s up for me it’s that so this guy i thinkthe impression i’m getting is that this is there’s an adult brain in there the child brain grew up within thischimpanzee yeah person okay i don’t know what that’s clear okay so um wewe have to say banana i understand it’s not shh okay we are sidebaring this this guywe gotta keep it downthis is not a a chimpanzee who uncontrollably wants a taste ofbanana this is a human banana so much thatit’s really hard whenever he’s literally like swinging from the ceiling the chandelier andeverything now that makes sense because if my brain was in a chimpanzee body i would beswinging everywhere right okay i just um how’s the taili want to know that talk to me about tails damn it cameron listen to me how much chimpanzeei don’t have a tail gentlemen i’ve i’ve i’m so sorry about everything that you just sawhonestly we were kind of busy talking so i wasn’t even i was professional yeah we were good yeah we were kind ofwhispering to ourselves so you know you didn’t hear us right ii i blacked out i i completely blacked out for a moment there oh wow this is like a drinking thingi don’t think i should drink this this uh it’s beverage anymore do you no i meant likeare you like plastered right now oh absolutely yes ohi could tell you didn’t say you’re a harvard professor right correct yes yes yeah so that i guess that makes sensethat’s why i was in the dumpster earlier as well found some gin drink the whole bottle came in and gave you all my money[Laughter] oh so the those were the documents you had lostyou had said earlier you had like lost some papers or something in the trash it was a it was some gin it was the ginand there was that big old check that i gave you that but uh i’m i’m a little wary about this koalacorporation and what they are doing to me directly there’s really nothing to worry about i mean to eachevery can of koala cola that is purchased they purchase a can to give to a realkoala so i mean have you thought about that hmm they could use it to build littlearmored suits so that when they fall out of the eucalyptus trees they’re unharmedi guess that’s i feel like if you’re jacked up on kuala cola they’re probablynot going to fall out of the tree so dr foster i have a question for youyes uh you sound you know with you with youkind of hitting the liquor so hard and you know finding yourself a dumpster coming here giving us your money itsounds like maybe did something happen recently are you going through something boys i ididn’t want to go over this on the air live in front of all of your fans but but then recently ii had a falling out with uh with my wife who’s now the professorat harvard took my job oh i’m so sorry to hear that she alsoapplied to to be the second chimpanzee in spacereplacing my name in history being the first female chimpanzee in spaceyes that wouldn’t really i don’t really think of you know if women accomplishsomething that then erases the accomplishments of the men beforehandthat is sort of a men’s rights attitude that is common um but i i don’tthink historically that’s just really not how people have treated it so i think maybe your concerns are a littlemisguided you’ve become a traitor to me cameron so here’s another question for you umwell i just want to point out that’s just an another men’s rights thing right there is to ifto sort of assume other people are traitors you’re behind it to me right now my only real friendhere is dr londonsmith.com so i’m giving this one million dollars toa true men’s rights activist in the world of chimpanzeesokay uh well before we so you said that your your wife is also chimpanzee does shealso have a the brain of a human or is she she actually has a regular chimpanzee brainand that is why i am so upset because they gave a regular chimpanzee my old joband they’re she’s teaching at harvard she’s teaching at harvard what is she teaching she’s teaching signlanguage in applied economics okay i guess that okay i was gonna saylike you know not not really qualified but that that doesn’t make sense okay well just just so that’s what youwere teaching at harvard amongst many other things they immediately fired me when they hired heradopting what do they call it a grandfathering her into the other programs as a part of astrophysicsastronomics ship sailing fisting for dolphins okayyeah i mean so a lot a lot of these sound like maybe harvard’s night courses which is sort of interesting they were i washarvard’s top night professor they called me the knight ape i wore capes sometimes it was dashingwow is night ape an offensive term for you like the eight part i assume becauseit’s inaccurate i’m sorry and i started to repeat it i just this is one of those things where iuh yeah i’m sorry i’m sweating i’m i’m thinking dr london just you just just you justgotta relax a little bit because the ways your eyes are bugging out right now you just want to put those back inthe socket you just wanna just relax those okay thank you just kind of yeah just there you goturn oh okay well i mean where are we i mean i just ii kind of just want to know like where what’s next like i i mean it sounds like you’ve doneeverything i mean is this everything in your bucket list you’ve gone to space you’ve become a doctor you’ve been a professor i understand that you’rebitter over your wife taking your position but is it bestiality if if you’d have ahuman brain i would say absolutely it is but i’m i am not here tomake that sort of judgment or assessment i don’t know what you’re trying to sayi’m completely chimpanzee on the outside there’s just a lot of thinking going onand to answer your question cameron youi’ve decided to invest in a very lucrative business which is the jock dock podcast experiencewhich i now learned is being also fueled by an evil corporationso i will be taking that check back dr london no nookay maybe there’s a way to solve it i’ve already yeah i’ve alreadyscanned it in it’s gonna it’s gonna charge you a three dollar fee if we cancel it is that okay i want it cancelled i don’tcare what it takes no hold on well let’s not do anything rash because threeyes i’ll lose all three dollars of the all the money that i have in the bankfund that i had set up just for this ha ha wait is this all your moneyit’s it’s everything you have yes it was everything i had one million three dollarsand now it’s just gonna be a million after this so i mean okayhow can we change your mind that about the quality of koala cola that we’re not working we don’t workwith evil corporations doctor we don’t no that’s a policy we have higher standards than that we work with evil peopleindividualsyeah we all know an evil person or two perhaps an evil chimp perhaps an evilex-wife well okay to characterize your ex-wife asas evil like your ex-wife is an animal with an animal brain like it’s notit’s just not appropriate i don’t think to to that’s that’s an animal rights issue at a certain point well also i’m athousand times more impressed by her becoming a teacher and learning how to teach like sign language andeconomics than i am you who just has a human brain you’re just a guyi am not just a guy i perform feats in which you have never seen before cameron he’s holding his poop in such adeath grip right now yeah you’re really squeezing itthat i at least can sort of get it because maybe to him the tactile difference feelsdifferent and it’s you know there’s something appealing to that but yeah you like it’s impressive that you went toharvard in the same way that it’s impressive that every rich kid goes to heart you know how dare you igrew up in the jungles of somalia hunted for my fleshokay but you said that whoever’s parents gave you this brain or whatever alsogave you a ton of money yes the little child’s brain the little child’s parents were rich as [ __ ]that’s why they’re able to afford the operation you’re that little childright you’re an adult and those are your parents it’s called nepotism yeahwhat those those people who gave you all that money what did they do for a livingthey were they were neurosurgeons yeah that’s up were they were theyyes for the president they were neurosurgeons for the president wow it’s all coming togetheryeah well i guess you’re sobering up maybe a little bit at this point and that’s why i gave you all of mymoney because in the medicine that’s going on here the diagnosisthat’s going on i thought you were just saying because yeah the way you use gave your money asa passive that means you have already given the money which means you have not taken it back correct so we we’re just not going to cancel thetransaction we’re good you know just think on it for now or no don’t don’t even think on it we canlet’s focus on it we’re just going to hold it and we’re going to hold it in the company accountokay we’re just going to keep the only people who have access to that account are me and dr london and people who want to spend themoney one of you is a traitor well so the crampy koala also has access toit and koala also has access to it one of you is a traitor the other one’s an evil corporation and the other one is drlondonsmith.com i hate this i’m taking my money back i well againyou use the passive tense so i feel like it’s hard to it’s really hard to undo again you’vegot the three dollar fee and that i mean that’s going to come through me first so then you’re gonna have to vin mommy the threeand so at that point it’s kind of like why you have to find out his info on venmo or i guess like adam as a friend even onvenmo you might even have to call them like customer service just to work this kind of kind of thingout so let’s just go ahead and let’s just go ahead and keep that so i i have another thing so while youthink about it whatever we have some chores to doum well just i feel like i don’t think our guest hereis the type of person who gets his hands dirty that often it sounds like he comes from a very wealthy family thatprobably had some help okay he’s volunteered for a habitat for humanityand he’s literally juggling poop right now i don’t think it’s like yeah that’s true like getting his handsdirty i mean it’s not dirt so you’re right in that regard it is fecal matter but iyeah i feel like it’s pretty it’s pretty bad so um anyways uh yes so we have thisshort uh cameron can you explain it sorry i always get long one yeah uh basically and look i’m not happy toadmit this and start explaining london to sorry remember the the demographics this is probably gonna be reallyimportant here okay okay yeah uh okay so dr london and i havebeen playing bingo a lot lately we’ve been playing it so muchthat we have been unable to do all of the things that we’re supposed to do all of thetasks assigned to us such as clean our dentures accuse thenurse of stealing your stuff these are the things that are on our daily to-do listbut unfortunately because we were playing bingo so much we have been neglected so to counteractthat negligence we created a chore wheel that we put all of our chores on thishuge wheel and every single week we spin that bad boy whatever it lands onthat’s the chore we have to do he said whatever it lands on that’s the chore wehave to do nana yes that and so if you want to if youokay i did not i really i did not mean to rile you up i apologize i was just trying to wake up ouraudience a little bit i said the end of the word i’m sorry i i meant it and you know likepeople call their grandma all kinds of things including the half of the word that triggers youi’m sorry i i i blacked out for a moment well could i know you’re exhausted rightnow but can you maybe use some of that pent-up energy and spin that chore wheel for usgive it a hefty spin but don’t let me forget that you’re a traitor and you owe me one million dollars[Music]oh no not this one why did you have to even suggest that we do our chores drlondon just i like we have so much to deal withand it’s earlier we did mention and i had happened to come up in the wheelum the chore is to start a cult for the mayor oh yeah and so that’s why i wanted todistance ourselves from you know the the cult thing becausesome cults are going to be okay some are not okay in this case the mayor has asked us togo ahead and start a cult for him uh the mayor’s been riding our assso much it’s been on us saying look you’re gonna have to turn in your badgeand your gun unless you get this job done the job of course that he gave us the badge andgun for in the first place was to become sort of his cult securityteam but and also sort of in charge of rounding up the troopsso to speak yeah evangelize yeah that he also i meanit really he wanted us to feel powerful which i did feel a lot more powerful with the badging gun so i was a big man unfortunately ourmayor you know as you have learned if you listen to this show he’s not a super creative guyso he hasn’t been able to figure out like what are the elements of this culthe doesn’t even really have an angle on it he doesn’t have a name or anything so he’s sort of leaving that to us to figure outyeah so um i guess to start off with let’s just think of i guess the name of it or yeah yeah thename that that’s a good place to start for any cult um so dr foster would you mind letting usknow uh i don’t do you have an idea for the name of a cult a good name sure you can call them the uhthe night apes after myself and my glory days of course yeahokay and what if is that and that’s that’s okay to do yes i’m giving you myuh my my badge of honor that’s you are allowed to do thatokay say night tape just not night monkey okay so the night apes uh do youwant do you wanna well i i’m just gonna i’m just gonna say i feel like that’s committing to a demographic that we might not havewhich is champions yeah but i like this knight aspect maybe justuh the the knights of t to go with your upbringing the knights of the jungle and maybe spell it with a kokay all right yeah what what about the knights of the mayor oh that i guessthat is far easier very on the nose oh yeah you think that might be a littlehe does hate obvious things yeah if he if he catches something andunderstands it pretty quickly he gets frustrated yeah but yeah i don’t think that’s too on thenose i don’t i think it’ll take him a while to figure that one out the knights of the mayor so so let’s saywhat about mayor of the night sort of sort of like mary the night like a little bit okay so it’sthe mayor the night cult okay yeah so so what um let’s seewe already have a cult leader in the mayor say whether he wanted us to be the leaders or him to be the leaders he wantedsomeone to be sort of the messiah of the cult righthe said he wanted the cult to be decentralized he talked a lot about the blockchain yeah yeah sort of uhsort of just keeping it in the block chain and sort of keeping it in the cloud sort of keep it decentralized soso sh is the leader gonna be like bitcoin then yeah well i think whoever theleader is and how much power they have is going to like sort of rise and fall based on its valueokay okay that makes sense okay so we’ll we’ll say um so leader is just cryptoyeah ohyeah or maybe just the blockchain the blockchain okay okay yeah sorry dude okay so yeah so it’s the knights of themayor we worship the blockchain okayum do we have clothes i mean what do we wear yeah i feel like it’d be closed souh dr foster do you have any ideas for this how do we how to incorporate that we’re you know weird this blockchainworshiping uh group and who i’m trying to think ofmaybe chains maybe jeans i don’t know what a blockchain isbecause i’m very old as i stated earlier which by the way is great crapand that totally works with our listeners so that is totally great for our audience but i feel like we’recompletely i it’s my fault bringing up the blockchain and all this young person stuff we’re committed now are all of our oldpeople are probably already turned back to perry mason by now okay hold on um social security checkssocial security checks i know what those are though [Laughter] uh so we got them back in so what if thecult is uh social security checks so the that’s that’s sort of the focus nowof the cult we’re pivoting yeah take everyone’s social security checks andsay that you’re investing it into the mayorsomehow or b al although this bitcoin that you’re talking about maybe that is a way to uh establisha dominance over the uh the the species is to take all their socialsecurity checks yes but tell them it’s for their own good yeah we can tell them that we’re yeahinvesting it in the blockchain i mean that’s basically all it is right yeah okay so we got it so yeah i mean is thatso i mean the pieces are at this point it’s the knights the mayor uh we social we worship social securityand the blockchain both medicare you need both partners both right and they work in conjunction witheach other and medicare is also in there too this is medicare so it’s like a hydrayeah exactly yes okay and a clothe that we didn’t pick clothing yeahabsolutely naked ooh for depending on which of our audiencemembers they will love it and they could go either way if our audience members arereally cold is my only oh yes they’re so damn cold so then the chainwearing also would be problematic for that too so so what if you could you get to choose you’re either nakedor you are wearing like skiing outfits okay yeah yeah that sounds greatum is that is there anything else that we really need to cover for that or isthat it maybe maybe like a motto or a school yeah yeah colts have sloganswell so it’s nights of the mayor and um let’s let’s get those checksooh yeah yeah let’s get those checks um but no checks for anyone else yeahthat’s right okay if other people get checks that’s a check that i’m not getting it’s a zero-sum gameyeah yeah let’s not give it to them because that’s taking away because that’s taking away from me and i need it yeahyeah uh well i think we we just about did it so um okay so nowwe do have to destroy the chore wheel uh so this timeuh i’m trying to think of a way to do it dr lynn honestly uh uh dr dr foster therei believe there’s a banana behind the wheel but you’ve gotta break thewheel to find itokay oh sorry i don’t know what came over me i destroyed your precious wheeloh mankind is done has created this devicelet’s get that check is what i’m thinking to pay for that wheel oh yep you’re gonna have to donate thatcheck just to pay for that damn it fine here’s my 1 million dollarscan take that take it you bastard if you want to help get this cultstarted we might need your sort of social security information obviously you’re not old enough tocollect social security yet but uh if you could just give us all your information when you reach thatage we can sort of just funnel that straight into [ __ ] i’m writing it down right nowi’m fine here’s my social security number you bastard traitor you little frog man thatpaper is it’s very difficult to read with how much fecal matter is just spreadall across it and around you have to read around the poop doctor london you’re a traitor as well i’mleaving this place you two are you do have to read around the poop it was nice of you to write around the poopit seems like poop was on the paper beforehand and you wrote around it rather than you know putting poop onpaper that already had writing you’re right i’m standing there for 10 minutes i didn’t know what to wipe it onso i just use this printer paper next to me and then you decided to sort of right aroundyeah it’s already in my hands this does make me wonder about your skill at maintaining sterilefield during surgery uh but i guess probably nobody’s talking about umthat that one word in those situations um all right so i guessthat’s that’s about it for the chore wheel that’s all done uh dr foster is there a way for listenersto follow you or is there anything you’re a fan of that they should hear more about the only respectable podcast aroundthese passes dead waves radio improvised paranormal podcast much higher class than you twotraitors if i still had that one million dollars i would have gave it to themtwo bastards you took it from me and i’m leaving now get out of here okay okay sorry ijust wow i do not like him sober um yeah honestly he was so much more funafter he had had a little yeah but like you know he’s going well he’s going through i wasgonna say he’s going through recovery it sounds like he’s just going through a brief recovery anyway umyeah i would say he’s going through a divorce it sounded like it was maybe a while ago if his wife has been able to like takehis job yeah after the divorce he was saying she’s already his ex bestiality i anywayum anyway so thank you to our guest dr foster uh sorry i guess aboutyour life uh thank you to our producer cameron thank you dude did you build thosei was a small boy i was dying so they took my brain and put it inside of a chimpanzeeturns out i was also a genius they called me the brainiac bonobo which i thought was very racist[Music]i’m taking my money backi’m taking my money back i’m taking my money back i’m taking my money back i’m taking mymoney back i’m taking [Music][Applause] [Music]see ya [Music]